Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune
by Kenchi618
Summary: AU in a more modern urban setting. Will be EPIC in length. Things aren't as they appear in this world. With a normal life out of reach, can Naruto figure out the mysteries that surround his existence and survive long enough to cash in on the potentially lucrative (and dangerous) career path of the mercenary? ...Either way it beats actually working for a living. NarutoxFem. Kyuubi
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If anyone reading this actually does, then would you consider cutting me a slice of that off? Come on… I'll be your best friend.

Pre-note: This is really just a personal experiment. Seeing as how I've yet to get a truly negative, shitty comment for my other story as of this point in time I've decided to go ahead with another one of my ideas. This is really just how I believe Naruto would work in an era like today in the urban U.S. It might work, it might not. In truth my last story was me shooting from the hip with ideas, this will be much the same except a lot of this will be original. A LOT. A few concepts will be from the original storyline, but that would be more for continuity, I mean why the hell would I go out of my way to confuse the hell out of the people actually interested in reading this story. I hope you readers enjoy, and I hope this is actually a feasible story.

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**Chapter 1: Prologue**

Ever since the early 1900's, life within the major capital city of Konoha was good for many of its citizens. While it was an average place for the most part; full of businesses and regular jobs, kids went to school and would attempt to graduate in order to actually begin their lives out among the people and other things, balance for the entire country of Hi no Kuni was kept by the mercenary forces stationed in the city of Konoha. While police and other forms of law enforcement were in the city, and the leader of Hi no Kuni himself did possess an entire army at his disposal, mercenaries were the popular form of problem-solving in this world.

Mercenaries were in massive abundance, and they could be anyone; the guy in the seersucker suit or the slamming hot girl in that oh-so-short miniskirt could be the baddest killer you could ever meet. Mercs could range from being kind and only accepting missions without moral discrepancies, to being total and utter creatures of greed or bloodlust, only accepting the dirty jobs full of death and full of riches.

Freelancing was very common as far as jobs for mercenaries went; if someone wanted to use you and knew how to find you then they could try to obtain your contract to work for them. For many mercenaries however, being involved with an organization that could line up jobs and dispatch you with partners, equipment, back-up, and vehicles was usually where they wanted to end up.

Mercenaries, in an effort to separate themselves from everyday soldiers or law-enforcement took to developing supernatural abilities to help keep themselves above the rest; powers commonly known grouped together as 'jutsu.' Jutsu, when broken down into classification were labeled as ninjutsu or genjutsu. Most mercenaries were of advanced speed, strength, and agility to go along with, or supplement these abilities.

While most mercenaries kept day-jobs to keep suspicion for their extracurricular activities off of themselves there were quite a few who became simply too well known. These mercs were spotlighted and usually became major figures, both socially and politically in their culture. In fact many of the politically elected officials in this world were in fact mercenaries that had reasonable measures of strength and fame.

As the lines became blurred between civilian and soldier of fortune, they intermingled to the extent that by the turn of the century there were at least 2 or three mercenaries in each immediate family. As the power increased, the law enforcement were forced to catch up to these advanced warriors by using their own methods. After a famous mercenary was given reign over the police force they were all taught the way of mercenary style combat.

As mercenaries became more and more influential, political intrigue, backstabbing and assassinations and killings became almost commonplace, which leads us to begin our story.

**Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune**

On the night of October 10th, 1996 a family laid broken. A mother in the hospital was pronounced deceased following a long and arduous labor. Her husband was unknown by the public, hospital staff included.

As the newborn child wailed in his incubator the staff that had delivered the child looked over it with saddened expressions. The doctor involved in delivering the child had taken off out of grief from losing the child's mother and had left her apprentice to watch over the rest of the proceedings. A dark haired teenage girl who's young age did not proclaim her skill at her craft watched the child's incubator from behind a glass window.

She placed her hand on the glass and sighed heavily, "Poor little thing… Nobody knows anything about any relatives of yours… No next of kin… Not even a listed guardian or godparent." She read the child's ID on the front of his incubator she took it into memory, "Naruto Uzumaki… Ok then. I'm sorry little guy, but life for you isn't going to be very pleasant at all… I can already tell."

A nurse came running up to the girl forcing her to look at the new arrival, "Shizune-san, we need your assistance in surgery. There's another one in critical condition."

Shizune sighed, "That's thirteen different people now tonight… What in the world is going on in this city?"

XxX

Hospitals all across the city were being filled with people inflicted with grievous wounds. Many would not survive the night. As the hospital staff and doctors across the city of Konoha did what they could to save the people as they wondered just what was happening there was one place across the city that already knew.

An old man stared out over the dark nights lit up by lights of all kinds from his office and sighed deeply, "It never changes does it Jiraiya?" The old man picked up his pipe and lit it as he turned around and exhaled smoke as he looked at a white-haired man sitting on a desk.

The man, referred to by the old man as Jiraiya, looked down in grief, "I know old man I know… I can't believe Minato is actually gone." He looked up to face the old man, "What the hell could have actually taken Minato down Sarutobi-sensei? That man was the best of all of us… I should know, I trained him myself…"

The old man, Hiruzen Sarutobi, walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I have Anbu agents all over it, but I doubt they will find anything on it I fear. We need you to look into this as well Jiraiya."

Jiraiya hardened his gaze as his eyes remained on the floor, "You don't have to ask me old man… I was going to do it orders be damned or not… I'm going to catch the son-of-a-bitch myself and kill him for Minato." His eyes widened as he uncharacteristically teared up, "Minato… Oh god…"

His attention snapped quickly as he looked at Hiruzen, "What about Kushina? Is she alright? What about the baby is it okay."

Hiruzen put a hand on his pupil's shoulder, "Kushina died in labor Jiraiya, I'm sorry." Jiraiya bit his fist to stanch his groans of grief as Hiruzen continued, "Kushina died, but the baby is alive, it was born right before she passed."

Jiraiya jumped up, "Naruto is alive!? Let me go see him, I have to!"

Hiruzen used surprising strength to keep Jiraiya from running out of the door to rush to the hospital, "Jiraiya no. I'm sorry but you can't see Naruto, not yet anyway."

Jiraiya turned around to face the old man, "What! What not!? I'm all the boy has as far as family and I can't see him? Kushina and Minato are dead, who will take care of him?"

Hiruzen sighed, "This will be hard, but we need to put Naruto in the orphanage to keep suspicion off of him until he grows old enough to take care of himself."

Jiraiya snapped, "You're going to leave him as an orphan! Why would you do that? I can raise him myself! If you told Kakashi or Rin or hell, even Obito I'm damn sure that they could raise him, they would love to!"

Hiruzen tried to calm student down, "I am going to tell them about Naruto, and they will be around, and you can be a part of his life. But you must understand Jiraiya… Minato and Kushina were killed, and we didn't know until it was too late. What do you think would happen if whoever orchestrated this found out that he lived through the attack? We need to find who did this to protect him so that when he comes of age we can tell him all that he needs to know and give him time to grow in strength."

Jiraiya gritted his teeth as he walked over to a pillar and elbowed it as hard as he could, "It was probably Iwa… The bastards, they always hated him after the war."

Hiruzen sighed, "It could have been… But for now I want you to take a few days and come back to me so that I can give you your mission information. Don't go see Naruto do you understand? That is an order."

Jiraiya turned and smirked, "So you're taking up the reigns again and leading the city I see. I thought you would have retired after Minato took over."

Hiruzen shrugged, "It was either me or Danzo… So really there was no choice you see."

Jiraiya shook his head with a smile, "Fine then, I'll gut it out for now… But I want to see him eventually. And trust me Sarutobi-sensei, I will find out who did this."

Hiruzen nodded, "I hope you do too Jiraiya." As Jiraiya left the office and closed the door Hiruzen walked back over to his window and looked out over his town before grabbing his head and looking out over the city once more, 'I think things are going to get very complicated very, very soon.'

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**I will continue to write Fullmetal Shinobi, my other story because I still have a shit-load of ideas for it and a hell of a lot of people seem to dig it immensely, but I wanted to start this one up as well. I think I've got a decent premise down and hopefully my interpretation will be awesome. Nevertheless I will be keeping up with both because writing these stories are fun as hell for me and I have tons of warped ideas. **

**I hope you all come along for the ride, because I'm gonna be having a blast with this one. No guns in this story, that would be too easy so don't worry about it. I didn't call them ninja because even in the original show and in the manga they didn't really act much like ninja, only by name when you look at it so I call them what they really are: mercenaries.**

**No Hokage. No real rankings, in this world having a famous name is half the battle to some. You'll see how I play with that later. This is going to be fun.**

**Kenchi out.**


	2. Same As It Ever Was Or Not

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I'm not smart enough to come up with an extended storyline that enough people would like like Kishimoto did, nor can I draw worth a damn. These are the only things that kept me from beating his ass to the punch when it comes to owning Naruto, or any manga really… Damn… Some guys have all the luck.

**Chapter 2: Same As It Ever Was… Or Not…**

Friday October 9th, 2010: 6 a.m.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

A hand shot out from underneath the sheets of a bed to grab the offending alarm and launch it across the room. Grumbling came from the bed as the figure within shifted and stirred before sitting up and revealing blonde hair and striking blue eyes along with a set of three marks on his cheeks. He swung his feet over the edge of the bed and scratched his head before yawning, "Same shit, different day…"

He stood up and picked up the pieces of his digital clock before smirking, "Maybe if you weren't such a pain in the ass I wouldn't break you every day." He walked to his closet to pull out one of the similar looking boxes up on a shelf revealing it to be another alarm clock. He set it in place on his nightstand and set the time and alarm before getting up to head for the bathroom.

As he walked through his one room apartment he sneered slightly. Before entering the bathroom for his shower he looked out at his empty living room/kitchen and sighed. Naruto was now just about fourteen years old. He had been living on his own for four years since leaving the orphanage. Naruto had hated everything about the orphanage and did everything he could to leave. He eventually managed to convince Rin, Kakashi, and Obito, the only three people that had been in to check on him to front him enough money to get him an apartment elsewhere where he had been living for over four years.

As he showered he closed his eyes as he let the water run over himself. The place wasn't bad, not at all. It had come fully furnished, all Naruto really had to buy for himself was his TV. It had all of the utilities such as heat, water, good plumbing and the like and the landlord wasn't that bad of a guy, he was actually only five years older than Naruto, but paying for the apartment at first had been something of a hassle. Doing little odd jobs and being a paper boy wasn't really Naruto's forte so eventually he looked into… alternate methods of employment.

As Naruto stepped from the shower while scratching his spiky locks he walked to his sink and began brushing his teeth. During this time he heard his cellphone go off in his bedroom. Naruto ran to his nightstand where he snatched up the phone and flipped it open, "Hello this is the butcher, what's your beef?"

"Hey kid you up yet?"

Naruto walked over to his dresser to grab some clothes, "Yeah, yeah… Up since six. So what's up, you need me to show today?"

"Yeah, swing by before you go to school, I think you'll like what I have for you today."

As Naruto pulled on his boxers and his baggy blue jeans he held the phone by his neck, "You're the boss… I'll stop in for a minute, see you soon." Naruto shut his phone and put on a wife-beater tank-top as he threw a black button-up shirt over it, keeping it open.

Naruto ran to his refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before getting his keys, his bag, picking up his skateboard by the door and leaving the apartment. As he came to the stairs he simply vaulted over the railing to fall the three floors to the ground. He threw his board onto the ground and began rolling into the parking lot and out onto the street.

Traffic in Konoha during the mornings was thick enough that Naruto could easily glide through the cars and trucks stopped in their lanes. As Naruto heard the people in the cars talk about him as he flew around their cars he felt himself coming upon a hill. As he breached the top and began descending he put his arms out and shut his eyes, 'Just take me now… No reason for me to be here in this place as far as I can see.'

As he opened his eyes he saw a light turn coming as he crouched to grab the end of his board to give him a sharp turn. He began to slow down as he saw his destination in sight. Naruto slowed to a stop and walked up to a chain link fence to an alley. As he unlocked the gate and walked in locking the gate behind him he came to a door upon which he knocked. A sight slide opened revealing a pair of soft brown eyes.

Naruto smiled as the door was unlocked and opened to reveal a black-haired girl in a light blue dress with dragon patterning on it, "Good morning Haku-neechan. How have you been."

The girl smiled and gave the boy a hug, "I'm fine Naruto-kun. Come on in, Zabuza-tousan was waiting for you."

Naruto nodded as Haku lead him through the building. The area through which they walked encompassed a lounge area with a large flat-screen TV, a pool table and two different game-systems. The next area was a gym area with weights, conditioning equipment, a sparring arena and an obstacle course. The final area was an office area with secretaries checking over forms or just talking and doing nothing.

As Haku lead Naruto to a massive oak door she knocked until a gruff voice told her to enter. She and Naruto walked into the room to find a bandage-faced man with camouflage pants and no shirt sitting in a chair listening to music from his stereo. Naruto walked in front of the man and cracked a smile, "Hey there Zabuza… What's up?"

Zabuza looked up to see Naruto looking at him with a massive smile on his face, "What are you so happy about gaki?" Naruto shook his head as Zabuza stood up and walked across the room to his cabinet. After shuffling around for a moment he pulled out a scroll and threw it at Naruto who caught it and put on a bigger smile.

Haku looked at him in confusion, "Naruto-kun, why are you smiling so hard? You don't even know what it is."

Naruto looked at Haku and then at Zabuza, "I'm smiling because I never get anything from anyone. The last gift I got from Zabuza he gave me the scroll on swordplay. My point is that no matter what it is I can be sure that it kicks ass."

Zabuza chuckled as Haku gave Naruto another hug, "Happy birthday Naruto-kun."

Naruto picked the girl up and swung her around once, "Thank you neechan. I'm happy you care." Naruto looked at Zabuza, "Hey Zabuza, when can I join the company."

Zabuza walked back to his chair and sat down, "You're not old enough yet kid, give it a few years."

Naruto huffed, "That's what you said last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. It's totally not fair, you let Haku join up."

Zabuza picked up Kubikiri Hocho and pointed it at Naruto, "That's because I raised her you brat, I know she's good. You on the other hand-."

Naruto cut him off, "I on the other hand have been training with Haku-neechan just as long as I've known you guys, and I've actually been in a few real fights before. Come on Zabuza, this is nepotism as its most defined definition."

Haku giggled, "You can't even spell nepotism Naruto-kun." Naruto waved it off, "Spelling is overrated, school is at least good for teaching cool-ass words like that. Oh and what about llama, that's a cool word."

Haku raised her eye-brow, "Llama?" Naruto nodded, "Yeah, that's a word that just doesn't lose its luster. I could say it all day."

Zabuza snorted, "You see? You still act like a kid. Until you show me that you can actually be enough of an adult to work with us then you'll just be shit out of luck gaki."

Naruto threw his hands up and walked out of the room, he stopped at the door and smiled back at Zabuza, "Thanks for the present though Zabuza, seriously." Zabuza waved over his shoulder as Haku waved goodbye up front.

After Naruto left Haku walked over to Zabuza, "You know he's good enough to join right tou-san?"

Zabuza groaned, "Yeah I know… but he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I want that idiot to actually get out of high school before I let him join. He doesn't need to get started so soon in his life." Zabuza looked at Haku, "Once you're in you don't get out."

Haku frowned and nodded.

XxX

Naruto climbed back on his board as he pulled out his phone revealing the time. Seeing that 8 o' clock was close at hand he made for his high school as fast as his board could carry him. As he flew along the sidewalks he heard raised voices in an alley. Naruto hopped off his board to investigate.

As he entered the alley he saw a red-haired girl cornered by three men. The girl who was around his age had an angry look on her face as she shouted at the boys, "Fuck you guys. You can all just go beat off you disgusting pigs!"

The leader stepped forward and pinned her against the wall, "Well then maybe you could help us with that beautiful? I know we'd all enjoy it and you would too."

The man moved his face in too close however as the girl bit him on his neck forcing him to let her go and recoil in pain. As he backed away she fell to the ground while he complained about the wound, "That little bitch! She fucking drew blood!"

One of his companions smirked, "Well then boss we can get a little payment from her for damages." The main thug smirked at his words, "You're right, we can always take a little something from her then can't we?"

As all three moved in on her they heard clapping from the entrance of the alley. As the men turned they saw Naruto clapping with a displeased look on his face, "Well now… That's a line that should go straight into the pedophile/rapist hall of fame… You do know that she's like 14 right? Or are you that desperate to get laid that the three of you have to try to rape her?"

The leader turned around, "Get the hell out of here kid before we smash your skull in. This isn't any of your business."

Naruto nodded and looked over to the girl, "Hey… Where were you going before just now?"

The girl blinked before she responded, "Um… I was going to South Konoha High School."

Naruto smiled and looked back at the thugs, "Well then that makes it my business… Because she goes to my school. And I can't in good conscience leave her here like this to her fate, you deadbeats aren't getting your rocks off today."

One of the men in question started walking towards Naruto, "I've had enough of this stupid brat's mouth!" He stepped up to Naruto and lashed out with a haymaker. Naruto ducked down, putting his hands on the ground and sitting back on them in order to shoot out his feet to kick the man directly in his right knee, busting his kneecap.

The man collapsed to the ground screaming in pain as Naruto stood up and stretched out his hands, "Well then, who's next?"

The second thug ran at Naruto and shot out a straight punch that Naruto sidestepped while grabbing his fist. Naruto then delivered a punch directly to his elbow forcing it to bend the wrong way badly as bone pushed through the skin. As the man screamed Naruto pulled him in to plant a straight kick directly to his chin and shoved him face-first into the brick wall with his foot.

The leader shook before calming himself and running at Naruto himself. He grunted as he shot out punches that Naruto parried and dodged before the blonde began mouthing off, "What exactly did you idiots think you could do against me? I have no idea how you all managed to live so long fighting as poorly as you do."

Naruto ducked before catching the man with a hard uppercut. Naruto followed through by grabbing the man by his collar and slamming his knee into his groin, hard. As the man gasped for air Naruto threw him into the corner of the alley.

He walked over to the girl and gave her a hand to stand up that she quickly accepted as she stood and dusted herself off. Naruto gave her a quick look-over before nodding and leaving the alley. Before he could skate off towards school he heard a feminine voice, "Hey wait a minute!"

He stopped before he could push off and turned to see the girl forcing him to do a double take as he could take in her features. In addition to the long red hair that went down a good length past her shoulders she had black bangs in front of her face and red eyes. Naruto also saw her wearing a black t-shirt that stopped just at her navel and her tight jeans that really showed off her figure. Said figure, from what Naruto saw was that she stood about 5'3 with a bust size that Naruto estimated to be C-size. Her hourglass-esque figure almost led him to believe she wasn't really in high school.

Naruto dumbly held out his finger as he pointed at her, "Hey um… What grade are you in if I could ask you?"

The girl stood in contemplation for a moment, "I'm in 9th grade, a freshman… Why?"

Naruto sweatdropped, 'This girl is way too good-looking to be a freshman like me, but there is no way I'm dumb enough to call bullshit on her here and now.' He grinned, "Oh no reason, just curious." He dropped his grin to look at her, "So what do you need? You aren't hurt are you?"

The girl quickly waved her hands in front of her, "No, no I'm fine. I just wanted to thank you for helping me out back there. I'm not really from around here." Naruto walked up to her only to find that he was decently taller than her by about four inches. He looked at her and gave her a smile, "Well it's no big deal. And if you want some help finding your way around town then I could help. I could at least take you to school so no more dirtbags try anything like that."

She happily nodded as she bounded up to his side. He turned and grabbed his board and stuck it between his bag and his back to sit as he walked with this girl. As they walked on Naruto had a strange feeling, 'Why do I feel like this girl is familiar to me? I've never met her before in my life but I don't feel uneasy at all… It's like I know something that I don't know, or something like that.'

Naruto decided to pry a little bit, "So, what's your name if I could ask you that, I'm Naruto by the way, Naruto Uzumaki."

The girl looked slightly startled, "Um… You can call me Kyuubi." She mentally slapped herself as she kept moving with Naruto.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Kyuubi? You mean like the fabled demon, great nine-tailed biju, walking natural disaster Kyuubi?" As she hesitantly nodded Naruto rubbed his chin, "Well that name is kind of odd, but what do I know, I'm named after fishcake for god's sake so what can I say?" Kyuubi giggled as they continued their walk.

Naruto threw his hands behind his head, "So what brings you to my little slice of urbanium? Your family got job offers or something?"

Kyuubi shrugged, "Something like that. My parents used to be mercenaries but they retired and came here to start their own business."

Naruto snapped to attention at this, "Your folks used to be mercenaries? Really?" She nodded , "So what kind of business is it now that they run?"

Kyuubi put a finger to her lips, "Well they're actually scientists. They were the ones to come up with the soldier pills that everyone is using nowadays."

Naruto almost tripped and fell, "No way! They came up with that? Your family must be loaded! Why the hell are you going to public school? You probably have enough money to buy this side of town eight times over, I thought someone with that much money would be going to the private school up in the upper class district."

She smiled sheepishly, "Well I didn't really want to go after what happened last time I went to a private school." She looked down and narrowed her eyes, "Everyone there was so petty and materialistic. If you didn't fit in they didn't want you there, teachers were like that too. So I wanted out."

Naruto nodded sagely, "It won't be much different here you know."

Kyuubi looked at him in shock, "Really? Why?"

Naruto sighed, "It isn't any different here, the only change is that the amount of money is much lower, but people are still petty and they still stay away from kids that are different, trust me."

Kyuubi was going to question him on that until he pointed out, "Here we are…" He walked through the gate and led her to the main door leading inside. He stopped at the door and took a heavy sigh, "Welcome to hell my dear." He opened the door to take her inside.

Countless students were chattering in the halls as Naruto led her through the crowd. He eventually had to take her hand to make sure he didn't lose her in the throng of people, "Come on now… It wouldn't do to have you go and get trampled on your first day."

Naruto led her to the main office where he took her inside to the secretary at the main desk who fake cringed at seeing the boy, "Naruto you didn't go and get suspended before the bell even rang did you?"

Naruto faked shock, "What? I would never Mrs. Makabe. How could you even say that?" The woman laughed as the kids made their way to her desk, "Because the staff from your middle school told us about you before you came. I have to say I can't believe some of that stuff, it sounds kind of absurd."

Naruto wagged his finger in a chiding fashion, "Don't say that, I've only been here for two months now. You've got four years to find out what I'm capable of. But that's not important right now, I'm here to get this young lady all registered up."

Mrs. Makabe looked at Kyuubi, "Well are you already registered for this school yet dear?"

Kyuubi nodded, "I should be. My name is Kyuubi Yoko, I was registered last week so it should be in the system."

The secretary nodded and entered her name. After checking a few things of she ran off a card with Kyuubi's picture on it, "Here you go, this is your school ID, don't lose it because a replacement costs money."

Kyuubi nodded and took her card and a copy of her schedule. Having been done with their business Naruto and Kyuubi left the office as she checked her schedule, "Hey Naruto, where's room 239?"

He looked at her schedule, "Is that your first class?" She nodded, "Well then follow me, I know where to go."

Naruto led her back through the crowd up a flight of stairs and through more halls before stopping in front of a classroom, "Here we are. Enjoy your four year stay in hell."

She smiled and opened the door to enter before looking back, "I'll see you later right?" She asked him almost hopefully.

Naruto leaned on the wall, "Well I will if you want me to, I guess I will see you later."

She nodded and walked inside the room before she took a seat and sighed, "Private or public… School is school and it all sucks."

"Don't I know it." Kyuubi jumped as she looked behind her to see a grinning Naruto sittng and waving right behind her, "What are you doing here?"

Naruto leaned back in his chair, "This is my class too… As a matter of fact you have all my classes except one."

Kyuubi looked stunned, "Really? Which one do you have that I don't?" Naruto grinned at her, "Study hall for last period."

Kyuubi sweatdropped, "Why don't you have a real class instead of that waste of time?"

Naruto growled, "Study hall is awesome! You learn more there than in any other class!" Kyuubi deadpanned him a look, "Really? Like what smart guy?"

Naruto slammed his hand on the desk, "I'm glad you asked my dear. You learn how to take a good power-nap… You learn to figure out exactly what could be on a test so that you don't waste hours studying, and the most important thing is that you can learn how to skip school in a controlled environment."

Kyuubi looked stunned, "You skip school? Really?"

Naruto put his head on his desk while smiling, "Yep. I am too smart and too damn good-looking to waste my life in this prison. I skip all the time, hey you should come with me a few times! I promise you'll love it."

Kyuubi sighed, 'And this guy is my first friend in this city.' "Um… Maybe sometime soon Naruto."

As Naruto checked the clock he saw seven minutes to eight as he saw people he actually knew enter the room.

Sakura Haruno was the first to walk in. She was a person that was not very high on Naruto's list of people to associate with. As she was the daughter of successful merchants she was something of a rich girl and rich girls like this didn't really care much for 'orphan trash' like Naruto no matter how kind he tried to be. Even saints have their limits after all.

The next to walk in was her friend Ino Yamanaka. There's not much difference between them as far as Naruto is concerned, they both seem like shallow, spoiled rich girls to him that try to treat him like crap when he tries to be good to them. The only difference is that Ino is blonde, but her fellow blonde Naruto doesn't have much love for her. Sakura is more of a follower to Ino's leader, that was how it always was.

Next in were Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi, the only guys Naruto could really call as anything close to friends. While Shikamaru was simply too lazy to care whether or not it was cool to hang out with Naruto, the eccentric blonde kid grew on him over time so much so that he readily calls Naruto a friend in public. Choji is much the same. Naruto didn't judge him for his size but for his personality.

As they filed into the classroom the teacher finally entered as the kids took their seats. Naruto and Kyuubi got situated for school as the bell rang.

XxX

Classes passed without much incident until the end of the day. Naruto ended up skipping study hall and waited out in front of the school for the new girl to show up. As he waited out front he groaned as familiar faces came up to him, "Great… Because this is just what I needed today."

Naruto's gaze came to rest on members of the resident police force, namely family members of the Uchiha. Naruto had many run-ins with these particular men seeing as how they had been picking up Sasuke Uchiha from school and escorting him home since elementary school, "Well, well, well… The mighty police force, bussed down to babysitting the son of the chief. How's the beat these days boys?"

One of the dark haired Uchiha police sneered at the boy, "That's officer to you boy… And what Captain Fugaku has us doing is none of your damn business." All three men walked up and surrounded Naruto as he smirked and raised his eyebrow, "What are you gonna do beat me? Do it and my ass will have it all over the 6 o'clock news tonight! Actually I doubt you three clowns could pull it off anyway."

The lead Uchiha pulled out a nightstick and waved it in Naruto's face, "You are going to fuck up one day kid… And when you do we're going to get your orphan ass tried as an adult."

This is the scene Sasuke came to as he stood looking, "What the hell are you guys doing to Naruto?" The three men whipped around but not without sparing Naruto one more glared that he just chuckled off.

The men surrounded Sasuke as they walked him to the car. Sasuke turned and yelled over his shoulder, "I'll see you around Naruto! Maybe you can help me train again sometime soon!"

Naruto smirked and nodded, "Maybe we can Sasuke. And maybe one day your old man will let you leave your goon squad behind when you go to school or something." Sasuke let out a short chuckle and threw a short wave over his shoulder as Naruto's attention was placed on Kyuubi coming out of the bulding, "Well you sure took your sweet time getting out here didn't you?"

Kyuubi's eye twitched, "I never walked through the halls alone before. SOMEONE thought it would be a good idea to ditch and leave me alone in there!"

Naruto smiled and threw his hands behind his neck, "What can I tell you? You learn by doing…" Kyuubi just looked at him for a moment, "Let's just go… Can you take me home?"

Naruto nodded, "Sure… Where's home?" Kyuubi gave him a general direction as they took off for her house.

After catching a series of buses they eventually began walking. As the buildings that they passed got cleaner and brighter, the streets looked better paved and the cars looked nicer Naruto took notice of the shift in the scenery, "*Whistles* We're not in the Bowery anymore…"

Kyuubi looked at his strangely, "The Bowery? Where is that? Sounds like a place in the city." Naruto nodded, "Yeah the Bowery is pretty much the place where a lot of apartment complexes are down in the city, that's where I live. You live in the Res, which is the suburbs out here at the edge of town."

Kyuubi grabbed her arm, "You don't seem to be too angry that I live out here and you live there… Why?" Naruto shrugged, "Why would I be mad? It's just that you have parents that make a lot of money, you're still a nice person regardless. If it bothered me that you had so much more money than me then that would be very petty."

Kyuubi nodded as she squinted her eyes, "Hey my house is coming up over here." She pointed to a one story rancher house that looked plenty spacious on the inside. Naruto looked at the house before speaking, "Well I guess you are rich huh?" Kyuubi smiled and flashed him a peace sign before opening the gate out in front of her house to take him to the door.

She unlocked the front door and motioned for him to come inside as she moved to make room for him when a figure flew out of the dark and kicked Naruto back through the threshold out into the front yard.

Naruto held his chest as he looked up to see his assailant, "Alright… Who's the dead man that did that?" Naruto looked to see a man that stood around four to five inches taller than himself crossing his arms in the doorway. From what he could compare from Kyuubi, as she had her hands in her face in a mortified fashion, he was her dad, the red hair with black bangs was a dead giveaway.

He stepped out into the yard to stand over Naruto. Naruto saw him wearing simple brown slacks and a short-sleeve white button-up shirt. Naruto hissed as he felt the pain in his chest rise as he stood, "Ugh… What was that for? I didn't do anything…"

The man gave a hard look at Naruto, the lines appearing on his face seemingly showing that they were appraising the boy, "I'll tell you what you did, or should I say the mistake you made." Kyuubi shook her head while holding it, "Dad… Seriously, leave Naruto alone, he just walked me home."

The man simply waved her off, "And why did he come all the way from within the city to walk you back here? I'll tell you, he only wants one thing from you sweetheart, and I will not let this boy take it from you!"

Kyuubi blushed as she started yelling, "Dad shut up! Naruto isn't like that! He-."

Naruto smirked and held his hand up signifying her to stop, "Don't worry about it, he doesn't need to know that. It seems clear to me that he wants a fight… Well I'd be remiss if I didn't give him one right?"

The man smirked, "There is a small dojo in the house that I use." Naruto dusted himself off, "Lead the way then sir."

The man walked into the house, "Before Naruto could enter Kyuubi blocked his path and hissed a whisper at him, "What do you think you're doing!" Naruto blinked, "Um… I'm gonna beat up your dad?" Kyuubi waved her arms, "He used to be a mercenary! And he still knows how to fight really well! He'll destroy you!"

Naruto chuckled, "Girl you have no faith in me at all do you?" He put a hand on her shoulder, "I'll be fine, and I won't beat up your dad too badly, that would send a bad message… Although it would be cool."

Naruto walked into the house going in the general direction that Kyuubi's dad went in before finding a set of traditional sliding doors and seeing him standing inside, "Took you long enough to get here boy."

Naruto shrugged as he kicked off his shoes, "What can I say? Your house is huge." Naruto stepped inside and began to stretch, "So what are the rules?" The man rolled his shoulders, "No dirty moves like groin strikes or gouging, and when the fight is over it is over, no post match hijinks."

Naruto chuckled, "You know I always liked that word, hijinks." He slinked into a basic stand-up stance as Kyuubi's dad went into the stance for Hapkido. Naruto raised his eyebrow, "So you know Hapkido?"

The man smirked, "Among other things… Now come."

Naruto ran at the man and stopped just short of running into the man's snap kick. Naruto swatted his leg back down before coming across with a chop to the man's neck that was blocked before pushing Naruto off . As Naruto came back in he threw a low sweeping kick that the man simply stepped out from before sweeping Naruto's leg out from under him with his hands sending him to the floor.

Naruto didn't stay idle on the ground as he immediately began to spin before putting his back towards the man and lashing out with a kick by rolling backwards as he sent his leg back to try and deliver a shin to his head/neck. After it was blocked Naruto used it as momentum to push off of the man's forearm with his foot before spinning his legs under his body in a breakdance type fashion, taking out the man's legs from the other side.

When he hit the ground, Naruto immediately latched onto the his arm that he used to brace himself for the fall, locking in an armbar, "Are we done because I will put on pressure."

The man sighed, "Fine I give up you win." Naruto let go and simply laid on the floor as the man stood back up. He stood over Naruto and looked at him, "What do you call that style you used, I couldn't tell what it was?"

Naruto smiled sheepishly, "Um… Call it Youtube…" The man facefell, "Youtube?"

Naruto sat up as Kyuubii walked into the dojo, "Yeah, I know how to do parts of stuff, like bits of capoiera I thought would be cool, or some jiu-jitsu that I learned from watching clips online, but I never actually learned how to fight formally. I just took what did work for me in fights and threw out what didn't."

The man scratched his chin, "Hmm… I see. Oh! I am Isshin by the way, Isshin Yoko."

Naruto put out his hand, "Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki. And thanks for kicking me in the chest, I was getting too comfortable, it woke me up."

Kyuubi looked between them, "So you fought, Naruto beat you up, and now you like him?"

Isshin nodded, "Yes, if he was going to be walking around with you like that I had to know that the boy could fight if he had to."

Kyuubi sighed, "At least he's still in one piece…"

Naruto took offense to that, "Hey! I'm no weakling! I've been beating grown men in fights since I was nine."

Isshin looked at the interaction and grinned, "So Kyuubi… When do I get to meet the boy's parents."

Kyuubi blushed but Naruto answered before she could yell at him, "Well if you ever meet them could you call me too, I'd like to meet them myself."

Kyuubi looked at Naruto, "You're an orphan Naruto?"

Naruto nodded, "Since day one… Been living away from the orphanage for a little over four or five years now."

Isshin spoke, "I'm sorry I didn't know." Naruto waved it off, "It's okay, you didn't know, and it doesn't really matter anymore… It's too late for any kind of parent to have an impact on me anyway. They're just people to me now."

Kyuubi looked sad as Naruto stood up and walked out of the room grabbing his shoes, "Well Mr. Kyuubi's dad Isshin, it's been fun getting beat up and everything but I think I should get going. It's a long way home and I'd like to get there before dark."

Isshin spoke before he could vanish from sight, "Do you need me to give you a ride home?"

Naruto popped his head back in sight grinning, "Nah, I don't need a ride. I'd rather just skate home, the Res has really good hills so I should make great time. Good bye."

The man waved as Naruto vanished from sight, Isshin looked out and closed his eyes, "Well that boy certainly is an interesting one eh Kyuubi? …Kyuubi?" He opened his eyes to find himself alone in the room.

Naruto was about to shut their front gate when Kyuubi came up to him, "So you're leaving?"

Naruto smiled, "Yep, I can't just hang around here all night, that would be too much of a pain for you." Naruto pulled out his phone, "Hey could I get your number? You seem like the kind of person that's fun to mess with." She smiled and pulled out her own phone as the traded off numbers.

She leaned on the gate, "So can I see you tomorrow?" As Naruto cocked an eyebrow she corrected herself, "I mean, you are the only person I know my age in the city so I wanted to see if we could do something."

Naruto smiled, "Yeah sure, but you're showing up at my house tomorrow, there's less of a chance of me getting kicked through the front door. I'll give you the directions later."

Kyuubi nodded, "Okay sure, that sounds like a plan." Naruto gave her a two-fingered salute as he turned and began pushing down the street.

As he rolled out of her sight Kyuubi sighed, "I can't believe I found someone like me… I guess I have to tell him soon then huh?"

**And that's chapter 2. This is not going to follow any kind of format. I just wanted to use characters from Naruto as a base for the story, I won't end up using any storylines from the manga. I don't even think that that would be possible for this fic. It was very, very slow this chapter with very short action scenes. It was mostly a foundation to set things up for later, these first few chapters are pretty much just a set-up, but I update so fast no one will notice too much I guess.**

**Things will be getting somewhat supernatural next chapter. For those that don't really know what that means it loosely translates into, 'Shit is going to get blown up next time.' So never fear.**

**One final note. This entire story is one clean slate. Seeing as how the characters and basic outlines of each character are all that I'm going off of helpful comments would really be welcome. You can shoot in your two cents about something you think would work or you could just give me some constructive criticism, it is all welcome because I am by no means good at writing, I just know what I would like to read, and I can't really be called the masses in all good faith now can I?**

**Live well and act right, Kenchi out.**


	3. Getting Your Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. No amount of wishful thinking will change this fact, therefore I think I'll stop talking about it now… Enjoy the chapter please.

**Chapter 3: Getting Your Shot**

Naruto woke up the next day with a long groan. Stretching out his joints he then stood up to crack his back. Going through the morning motions as he washed up, showered, etc. Naruto finally sat in his living room and flipped on the TV. As he gazed at his clock in the room it showed 9:31 in the morning.

Naruto was eventually stirred from his TV haze as he heard a knock at his door. As he opened the front door he saw a smiling woman with brown hair and markings on her face. Naruto shot out with a hug, "Rin-neechan!"

The woman laughed and pried the blonde teen off of herself, "Okay Naruto-kun, okay. Calm down I'm happy to see you too." Naruto allowed her in the house as she sat on one of his couches.

Naruto retook the spot on his own couch and looked over at Rin, "So what brings you by my humble abode today Rin-neechan?"

Rin frowned and gave Naruto a dead-pan look, "You know why I came over you baka…" When Naruto shrugged with a guilty grin Rin perked back up, "You know it's your birthday today silly." Rin reached into a pocket, "I have your gift from me, Kakashi, and Obito."

Naruto smiled at her, "Say where are they anyway? I thought at least one of them would have come with you today."

Rin pulled out a scroll, "Yeah they had a job that hasn't ended yet. They got stuck out in the field so they couldn't come and give you your gift with me today." She threw the scroll over to Naruto, "Happy birthday Naruto-kun!" Naruto opened the scroll on the spot and began to read over it.

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**

**This technique splits your chakra to create fully life-like, perfect copies of yourself that can be used to help engage enemies in battle, or can be used for information gathering purposes. To perform the jutsu form the seal after building up the necessary chakra to use the jutsu and make the appropriate amount of copies. Hand Signs: Dual tiger seals crossed.**

**WARNING: Those with low chakra reserves should not attempt this jutsu due to the drain it puts on your system. Failure to avoid this warning can result in extreme chakra exhaustion or in more severe cases, death. Caution should be taken.**

**Bunshin Daibakuha no Jutsu**

**An extension on the basic Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. After forming a functioning clone a trigger of chakra and a trigger word from a distance will cause the clone to make a massive explosion capable of greatly wounding or even killing an adversary. This jutsu is not to be used outside of extreme battle situations.**

Naruto shut the scroll and looked at Rin who had on a massive smile, "Well? Do you like it?"

Naruto chuckled and nodded, "You guys are really just going to give me two jutsus that are really so strong like this? I'm not even a mercenary or anything yet." Naruto rolled the scroll back up and placed it in his own pocket.

Rin walked over and sat next to Naruto on his couch, "Well you're not one yet… But you want to be. And the way you work for it I know you will be. And as to why we gave you those two jutsus is because you can't do regular Bunshin because you have so much chakra, and I'm sure that even if you could you would never use it anyway. So we just gave you an advanced jutsu that you would use… Also we knew you'd like the exploding clone thing so it was really a no-brainer."

Naruto nodded and gave Rin a hug, "Thank you neechan, tell Kakashi-niisan and Obito-niisan I really appreciate it and I love the gift."

Rin accepted the hug and gave him a kiss on his forehead, "I will otouto, remember that we love you okay?"

Rin stood up and walked to the door, "Okay I have to go to the hospital for my shift so I'll see you later okay Naruto-kun." Naruto waved as Rin opened and shut his door. Naruto walked into his bedroom and placed Rin's scroll on the bed right next to Zabuza's.

Naruto looked at the scroll, "That's right I didn't open this one yet did I?" Naruto unsealed the scroll only to reveal two more. Naruto picked up the first scroll and read it.

**Teppodama no Jutsu**

**This jutsu shoots a projectile of water from ones mouth at an enemy at high speeds. It is capable of causing tremendous injury but is not intended to kill an opponent, more to stun or damage them. Hand signs: Tiger **

Naruto grinned as he read his jutsu scroll, "No way it only needs one hand sign just like the Kage Bunshin! What a haul!"

Naruto put his scrolls down and decided to head up to the roof of his apartment complex to practice his new jutsu. As he arrived on the roof he jumped around to stretch himself out and rubbed his hands together in anticipation, "Okay, Kage Bunshin first… It sounds awesome." Naruto built up his chakra before he shouted, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu(Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

As the smoke cleared Naruto saw three copies of himself on the rooftop and scratched his head, "Wow, I thought this jutsu took a lot of chakra… I only used the amount I used when I tried to make 5 regular Bunshin." Naruto looked over his replications that were simply standing around.

He walked up to one and poked it a few times, "Okay… You look and feel like me but other than that you don't look like much… What do you guys do?"

One of the clones had a vein on his head, "You didn't tell us to do anything yet stupid! We're waiting on you!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Oh yeah that's right my bad you guys…" He shrugged, "I don't know… Do something awesome I guess."

One of the clones shrugged before walking up to Naruto and slapped him across the face hard. As Naruto recoiled in pain the other clones were rolling on the roof in laughter. The clone guilty of the attack bowed to his brothers and dispelled himself. Naruto stood up and growled at the remaining clones, "What the hell was that? He fucking hit me!"

One clone stopped laughing to answer, "Haha, you said do something awesome so he did. Don't act so pissed off, you know it was hilarious."

As the clones kept on laughing Naruto tried to glare at them but eventually a smile crept on his face as he let out a few chuckles, "Okay, it was kind of awesome… Alright you guys, you're done." Naruto cancelled the jutsu as the clones kept laughing. He rubbed his cheek, "God that thing was strong as hell… I guess they get all of my traits too, the scroll did say they were perfect copies. They act like me too."

Naruto rubbed his face as he walked back down the stairs, "I don't think a rooftop in the center of the city is a good place to fire off a bullet of water or to make a fiery explosion, I'll save them for somewhere else."

As Naruto came back to his room he found Kyuubi sitting in front of his door looking at her phone. Naruto came up to her with a smile, "Hey Kyuubi how are you?"

She looked up to see Naruto walking towards her and gave him a smile, "Hi there, took you long enough to get here."

Naruto pointed up, "I was just on the roof to try something out, why didn't you just call me?"

Kyuubi gave him a dead-pan look, "Have you ever tried calling you?"

Naruto looked confused, "What?"

Kyuubi nodded, "Yeah I called you like six times, and I even left dirty stuff on your answering machine to think that you would hear it and get all fired up and call me back but no… You're all like, 'I'm Naruto Uzumaki, I don't answer the fucking phone, I live in my own place and my mailbox has my name on it, blah, blah, blah.'"

Kyuubi giggled at the expression on Naruto's face until she saw something, "Oh my God Naruto!" She stood up and turned his head to the side, "The side of your face is all red… What happened to you?"

Naruto blinked before scratching his face, "Um… Training accident?"

Kyuubi nodded, "Okay I guess." Naruto opened his apartment door and motioned her inside.

Kyuubi walked inside and looked around the living/eating area, "Well it isn't dirty but it's kind of bare in a kind of way you know?"

Naruto grabbed two bottles of water from his refrigerator and threw one to Kyuubi as he opened it, "I kind of live a Spartan lifestyle, if I don't think I need it then I don't get it." He motioned for her to sit on the couch as he sat himself, "Being broke as fuck most of the time doesn't really help either, but if I had money I don't think I'd know what to do with it honestly.

Kyuubi giggled as she sat next to him on the couch, this made Naruto's eyebrows raise slightly for a moment, 'Okay didn't see that coming, she can't dig me like that already, unless it's a hero syndrome or something.'

Naruto handed her the remote, "We can hang out here for a bit, it's not even noon yet really so we really don't have to rush anything. Do you have a curfew or something?" Kyuubi shook her head in the negative, "No I don't and my dad is probably working today or something so we have all the time in the world today."

Naruto nodded before he stood up, "Alright I'll be right back I need to check something in my room really quick."

Kyuubi got a sly grin on her face, "Oh you don't need to clean up your dirty room for little old me Naruto-_kun_. We're not going to be spending any time in that bed tonight anyway… Well maybe if you're a good boy today."

Naruto snapped around with a dull expression, "I'm fourteen years old, and you are hot… Don't even joke with me like that, you'd be playing with fire and I don't want your dad to castrate me on today of all days."

Kyuubi gave him an innocent look, "Who was joking Naruto-kun? Don't worry, I won't tell daddy. It will be our little secret." Naruto gave an exasperated sigh as he headed back to his room before Kyuubi broke out into laughter, "You are so easy to mess with it's hilarious… You got so flustered."

Naruto tuned out her laughter as he picked up the second scroll that fell out of Zabuza's storage scroll and opened it to read.

**Dear brat,**

**I was going to give you some birthday money to go with your jutsu for your birthday, but hey, since you say you want to be a mercenary so bad I decided to give you Haku's light work. This job won't be too hard if you can fight. You don't have to kill, and it pays pretty well so have a ball with it. Complete it at your own leisure but just bring it back when you're done.**

Narutosighed, "So now what… Am I Hein (Flying Swallow) Company's gofer or something. I can't believe I've got to handle Haku-chan's grunt work." Naruto shrugged, "Oh well, money is money and I sure need it." He bit his thumb and opened the blood seal at the bottom of Zabuza's letter to read his assignment.

**Mission: Search and Destroy**

**Rate of Pay: 11535 ryo (upon completion)**

**Assigned Operative: Haku Momochi** (Haku's name was crossed out as Naruto's name was scribbled in pen after it)

**Mission Specifics: To search for a certain man and punish him physically for lewd and disrespectful comments and actions towards the heirs of Clan Hyuuga. After the attack is complete deliver the message of the attack and leave the calling card of Hyuuga insignia at the bottom of the scroll. Leave the man alive, witnesses are optional. Report for payment following presenting proof of completed mission to company secretary.**

**Target: Ryusuke Nakamura, Age: 24, Occupation: Bouncer, Known Areas of Gathering: Second City District around Bronze Down VIP club. **

Naruto pulled off the Hyuuga symbol card at the bottom of the scroll and the picture of the man and pocketed it, "Haku-chan just doesn't want to beat some guy up, birthday money my ass. Now I've got to look for some guy for the Hyuugas?"

Naruto pulled out his lighter and burned the mission scroll watching it vaporize in mid-air, "That's too much money just to beat some guy up but oh well… Maybe they just don't want their own people getting fingered for this."

Kyuubi walked into his bedroom, "I smelled something burning, are you okay?"

Naruto turned around, "Oh yeah I'm fine, just needed to get rid of something." Kyuubi nodded and looked around the room. She saw his queen sized bed situated in a corner and the nightstand next to it along with his dresser and mirror with scrolls splayed across the counter. She also saw a picture of a younger Naruto with a woman with brown hair and facial markings along with a masked man with white spiky hair and a guy with black spiky hair that looked like an Uchiha.

Kyuubi spun around to really take in the room, "Wow you really don't have much do you?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, "Afraid not; the cellphone, TV, and stereo system I have are as much I've splurged."

Kyuubi frowned, 'It really makes me appreciate my home a lot more for sure.'

Naruto saw her look, "It's all good though. I really don't care too much, life is alright I can't really complain, I have what I need to get by and that's all you can ask for."

Kyuubi nodded and looked at the clock, "Hey it's about a quarter to noon, should we get going?"

Naruto nodded, "Oh yeah we should huh?" Naruto hustled back to the living room to turn his TV off and led Kyuubi out the door.

XxX

As they walked down the streets Naruto told her about certain places and where he recommended she go and where she should stay away from. Eventually they ended up talking, with her telling Naruto about the city she came from before moving to Konoha, which was the capital of Hi no Kuni, and Naruto telling her about Konoha and how he lived.

Eventually her earlier curiosity got the better of her, "Hey Naruto, what did you burn in your room."

Naruto sighed, "Well I guess I can tell you since your parents used to do it, and I trust you. That was a mission scroll for some light work."

Kyuubi widened her eyes, "You mean merc work? You're a mercenary?"

Naruto shook his head, "Not really, but this guy I know tends to throw me a few odd jobs every now and again. I never get into too much danger and I've never been caught and busted because the work is so easy, but it pays well enough… At least it puts food on the table and keeps my lights on."

Kyuubi looked down, "Are you going to be one in the future?"

Naruto smiled at her, "Now you know very well I've already told you too much, if I was I can't just blow my cover before I even start now can I?"

She nodded as they carried on down the street until Naruto spoke, "So what do you want to do for a career? You've got connections if your parents are rich so what are you going to do?"

Kyuubi jumped at his sudden question, "Well I don't know. I didn't ever really think about it, it didn't seem important. But now that I'm in high school it seems like my time is running out right?"

Naruto smiled at her, "Well don't worry about it. If push comes to shove then I'll get you a job with me."

Kyuubi smirked, "Trying to keep me close to you eh? I'm flattered that you like me like that. It really does make me feel pretty." She giggled as he held his mouth open like a fish, 'So easy to mess with!'

She got him to refocus with her next question, "So if you're going to be… working in a certain trade. What is your cover going to be?"

Naruto grinned, "Such a good question warrants a good answer. I have a buddy that runs a gym for fighters and he said that he would sponsor me and let me train there for fights because one of his own fighters around my age seems to like training with me. It's so perfect, if I need to go on a mission then I just need to say that I have to take a training sabbatical or something, and I get to beat people up on a daily basis. So awesome."

Eventually their tour took them back up around the Res. Naruto looked at the red-haired girl, "Sorry, I didn't mean to take us up here. You live here right?"

She nodded, "Yes but I still don't know anything about it except that rich people live here, we can still walk around up here." Naruto took her hand grinning as they crossed the street.

At some point they came to a gated facility with white-eyed guards standing out in front. Naruto pointed at the mansion and compound on the hill, "That is the Hyuuga compound, they're like the richest clan in Konoha."

Kyuubi nodded, "What do they do to be so rich."

Naruto smirked, "Nothing… They're old money. Something their ancestors did got them some seriously fat bank way back in the day so they just settled here and now all they do is just sit back and be rich."

Kyuubi went wide-eyed, "That is amazing… such wealth."

Naruto nodded, "Yep, they even have some of their family trained up to be elite warriors, so I guess that they just get bored with being so loaded. I guess they do stuff with the banks, but the happenings of you rich folk don't really apply to me so I don't care."

Kyuubi and Naruto walked around the Res and stopped at a few stores and a place to eat before Naruto finally took her home. As she stood with him in front of her gate she gave him a gracious smile, "Thank you for taking me out to see the city today, I really had fun walking with you, you're a nice guy."

Naruto fake bowed to her, "What can I say? I'm a chivalrous arch-bastard."

She laughed as she walked in the gate and closed it behind her, "So will I see you in school on Monday?

Naruto grinned at her, "You can see me whenever you want, you know where I live. But yeah, you will, I guess for you I'll show up."

She waved to him as she walked up to her porch and entered the house. Naruto turned as he pulled the Hyuuga crest from his pocket, "Alright enough fun, time to get my birthday licks in…" Naruto put the crest back into his pocket as he walked down towards the main part of the city through the sunset.

XxX

Naruto had found the club of his mark fairly quickly and had gotten in line as he saw his target checking people in by the door. The reason Naruto didn't outright attack him was because he didn't want to be the one to initiate conflict in case he couldn't defeat the man before assistance came, either in the help of more bouncers which would end up in a pretty decent beatdown, or in the intervention of the police, and if the usual Uchiha attitude towards kids like him was any indication it was the greater of two evils.

As the line proceeded he saw people either entering the club with smug grins or people getting booted out into the street, quite common of places like this. As Naruto reached the front of the line Ryusuke barely even looked up, "Next."

Naruto inwardly smirked, 'Alright let's get this party started.' Naruto feigned anger, "What! Why? There isn't any good reason for you to leave me out here tonight! I demand to see your manager."

The bouncer smirked before throwing his clipboard aside and launching a punch to Naruto's body causing the blonde to double over and exhale heavily, 'Ugh didn't see that coming…'

Ryusuke picked Naruto by his collar and dropped him on the ground, "Get out of here brat, this club isn't for lowlifes like you."

Naruto sucked in air tightly as he responded, "Fuck your stupid AIDS filled club." Naruto thrusted his elbow upwards into the space between Ryusuke's legs. As he heard the man's shout get choked in his throat Naruto mentally cringed, 'Oh man, I'm actually sorry about that… God I really am an arch-bastard.'

Naruto tried to crawl away to seemingly draw Ryusuke into a chase. It worked, because as soon as Naruto had crawled a good distance away a red-faced Ryusuke shoved the club patrons in line that were blocking his path out of the way and broke into a sprint to chase the blonde boy. Naruto saw him coming and stood up to begin his plan.

Naruto led Ryusuke on a chase through Konoha's late night streets. The boy picked up speed as he saw a potential area for his inevitable showdown with his mark.

Naruto simply jumped over the iron fence cutting off one of Konoha's parks from the street as Ryusuke had slightly more trouble but was still keeping up with Naruto. As Naruto ran decently deep into the park he came to a stop with Ryusuke running up on him to deliver a hard haymaker. Naruto dodged the initial attack and smirked at Ryusuke, "I guess this is as far as we need to go."

Ryusuke spit and cracked his knuckles, "You're dead kid, for hitting me in the balls and then leading me on this stupid chase. I hope you yell."

Naruto cleaned out and then cupped his ear in Ryusuke's direction, "What was that man? I'm afraid I don't speak douchebag."

Ryusuke scoffed and ran back in to attack Naruto. Naruto found it incredibly easy to avoid Ryusuke's punches. He was decently muscled but was not really conditioned much for speed. However after a sloppy dodge resulted in Ryusuke almost hitting Naruto in the face, a punch that came close enough for the sweat on his fists to dab Naruto on his forehead, Naruto decided that it was time to play for keeps.

Naruto retreated back far enough to get a short breather as he noticed Ryusuke breathing heavily. Naruto began to talk and mock him, "Is that it? Just a few big punches and you're sucking wind already?"

The barbed taunt made Ryusuke growl in anger, "That's it you runt, you're dead now." Naruto felt a dark presence from Ryusuke as a strange mark appeared on his neck. Ryusuke cackled as his features began to thicken and he took on a more feral appearance complete with facial markings, "That Mizuki guy wasn't bullshitting when he said this seal would make me feel stronger…" Ryusuke rushed forward with an enhanced speed that Naruto never saw coming. He cracked Naruto in the face with a hard right hand that sent the boy flying across the field.

As Naruto tried to weakly sit up Ryusuke stomped on the boy's chest hard forcing him into a small crater. He laughed as he kept stomping on Naruto's chest, "This little mark on my neck was expensive as hell but right now…" Ryusuke kicked Naruto's body in the crater forcing it to drag through the earth on the ground, "It was worth every single penny."

As Ryusuke walked over Naruto felt a strange sensation, 'I need to get up… This lunatic is going to kill me if I don't. I can't die here… I won't.' Naruto clinched his fist until blood poured out, however the self inflicted flesh wound began steaming and healing just as it was done. Naruto felt a heat rise in his body as he willed his broken body to stand back up.

Ryusuke sneered at the young blonde, "So you can still stand up huh? Well I guess I'll just have to fix that won't I now." As Ryusuke took in the features of the target of his aggression he noted some key differences; the spiky blonde hair that sat on his head was actually growing to flow down his back. The wounds that Ryusuke could see through the clothing were all healing before his eyes. When Naruto actually pulled his shirt off of his body weird body markings appeared all along his torso forming archaic languages and symbols and his nails turned into claws.

As Naruto lifted his head to look up at Ryusuke he gave him a smirk that showed Ryusuke more prominent canines that could actually be labeled as fangs. Ryusuke took note of his own transformation when he changed, but something about Naruto's seemed natural, as if it was supposed to happen to him. Ryusuke shouted across the field at Naruto, "You're a freak! You're some kind of monster to take all of that and heal up so quick! You demon!"

Naruto chuckled in his usual voice, "Demon… maybe? I actually can't really argue with that right now because I'm not really sure myself. But one thing I can tell you for sure." Naruto sprinted up to Ryusuke with newfound speed and buried his fist into his belly before launching him away with a spinning snap kick, "I'm feeling pretty good right about now…"

Ryusuke got up in a rage as he charged back at Naruto who simply formed the tiger seal as fluid filled his mouth, "Teppodama no Jutsu!" As Naruto fired the bullet from his mouth he noted a problem, instead of firing a bullet of water it appeared to be red, as if it were his own blood. The attack collided with Ryusuke as he stood in shock of the red water ball and exploded on him. As Ryusuke writhed on the ground in agony Naruto walked over to him and dropped the Hyuuga crest on him before reaching into his pocket and taking out his wallet to obtain his club ID.

Naruto walked away leaving the man to revert back to his original form before the mark on his neck simply flaked off. Naruto walked along the streets felling a new kind of high as he felt this power course through his body. He flexed his hands and looked at his claws, 'This is so weird, but I feel right… I feel like this is the way I should be… It's strange, but I'm not even scared of this power.'

These thoughts came to a quick close as Naruto suddenly felt the rush of strength leave him. His hair regressed to its original length and the markings on his body faded before he fell to his hands and knees breathing heavily. Naruto was sweating on the pavement as he looked at his claws revert back to regular length nails. "What, what is happening to me?" Naruto's pupils dialated before he collapsed in the street.

As Naruto laid outside under the streetlights A figure stepped just outside of the light to remain in the shadows, "Wow… It took long enough for him to unlock it. I guess he needed a distressful battle situation to begin drawing on it." The figure pulled out a cell phone and began to dial, "Hello 911? There's a teenage boy out on the streets here lying face down. He doesn't look too good. He has a pulse though but I'm not really sure of his condition, he's on Womack Avenue just short of the transit bus stop. Yes hurry please."

The person flipped the phone shut and smirked, "You are just as interesting as I thought you would be Naruto Uzumaki. I knew we were alike."

**I'm pissed off right now. Today is the first day of spring, a bright beautiful sunshiny day. Well I was so happy I decided to go against doctors orders against strenuous activity until I fully healed up my knee which was healing slowly due to a lack of vitamin D, thank you frugal college living. **

**I went out for a run, without my knee brace due to my laziness to actually search for it and played a little pick-up football. When I got back to my room I basically collapsed on my bed as my knee blew out. Now I have to go to the doctor tomorrow to see how much I screwed up my knee. This sucks.**

**I'm just venting don't even take issue with it. Please review after reading, it motivates lazy guys like me into posting chapters faster and enjoy your weekend. I will be watching four walls and paint for a while.**

**Kenchi out.**


	4. Put On Your Grr Face

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. No matter what the manga polls tell you, Naruto is not ours. It never will be. It belongs to Kishimoto and he ain't sharing… I don't blame him either, but damn, it still doesn't make the hurt go away.

**Chapter 4: Put On Your Grr Face**

Through the darkness Naruto heard the faint sounds of daytime TV in the background of his mind, 'Ugh… Why the hell would I be watching that crap… I can't even take listening to it as background noise.' Naruto cracked his eyes to be assaulted by a world of white. Naruto hissed as his corneas were burned by the intense brightness, "Stupid fucking daytime talk-shows."

"Well look who finally woke up… Took you long enough, I thought you were dead."

Naruto's eyes slowly began to focus as the light in the room decreased in intensity. As he was getting his bearings the smell of disinfectant and generic bleach and detergent hit his nostrils, "Ugh, fuck… Hospital." Naruto turned his head to see Kyuubi smiling and waving at him from a chair next to his bed, "Kyuubi? What are you doing here?"

Kyuubi looked offended and huffed, "I was visiting your sorry ass in the hospital. You didn't show up for school yesterday or today and when I asked about you they said you were excused by your doctor." She gestured to the room, "And lo and behold I find you laid up and half-dead. I've been here for two hours talking to your unconscious ass and the thing that wakes you up from an unresponsive sleep is the sounds of people fighting on a talk show set. I'm offended."

Naruto chuckled but cringed as he slumped back against his pillows, "Oh man… I feel like a lump of dog shit that just got hit by a car."

Kyuubi sweat-dropped, "Nice Naruto."

The two turned to the sound of someone entering the room. Naruto perked up as he saw someone familiar to him, "Shizune-neechan!"

Shizune smiled and set her chart on Naruto's bed, "Good to see you finally up Naruto-kun."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Exactly how long have I been out for?"

Shizune looked at his chart, "You were admitted late Saturday night, so you've been here for three days."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Really? Damn, and I've been out of it the whole time?"

Shizune nodded, "You weren't in very good shape at first. We didn't know what was wrong with you, but eventually you settled yourself down, so all we had to do was wait for you to wake up."

She gave him a look of curiosity, "What did you do to yourself Saturday night?"

Naruto smiled nervously, "Um… What didn't I do to myself Saturday night?"

Shizune shook her head, "Alright Naruto-kun, you don't have any guardians so you can leave if you think you can walk on your own."

Naruto grinned and hopped out of his bed before he collapsed on the floor. He jumped right back up as the two women in the room began laughing, "You didn't see that." Naruto walked to the closet where his things were bagged and brought them back to his bed before staring out at the two women, "Shizune-neechan you're my favorite doctor and everything but you can't just see me naked like that. I need to get dressed."

Shizune smirked, "Too bad for you Naruto-kun, your clothes were shredded when you came in. So you seem to be just out of luck."

Naruto dumped his stuff out of the bag only to find his boxers, pants, socks, and shoes. "Crap that's right. My shirt got owned." Naruto rifled through his pile to find a wifebeater undershirt still intact, "Oh awesome. At least I can wear this out of here. It's gonna be cold though."

Kyuubi stood up, "Okay I guess I'll be waiting for you outside." Naruto grunted in acknowledgement as the two girls left his room.

As they walked through the hall Shizune tapped Kyuubi on the arm. As Kyuubi looked up at the older woman Shizune began to speak, "This was very strange."

Kyuubi blinked, "How come? What's the matter with Naruto?"

Shizune flipped through his chart, "Whenever Naruto comes in I'm usually his doctor, and if not me then Rin is. In the past fourteen years of me knowing him his bloodwork has never seemed so odd."

Kyuubi looked confused, "What's wrong with it? Naruto isn't sick or something is he?"

Shizune shook her head, "No that's the thing. There's nothing wrong with him. He usually had something going on, he's always been lacking in some kind of nutrients, but that is actually pretty normal in kids that live alone. Now after this time in the hospital, everything is heightened, I can honestly say that Naruto has never been this healthy before, ever."

Shizune frowned, "I'm very confused. Whatever happened to him on Saturday night changed him almost structurally, but left him the same… It's just too odd to explain in words."

Kyuubi looked serious, "But he is alright though right?"

Shizune nodded, "Yes he is. It's just very strange. I might need him to come back to run some more tests on him."

XxX

Naruto walked out the front of the hospital to see Kyuubi sitting on a bench waiting on him, "Well let's get on out of here. I hope I wasn't too long." Kyuubi stood up as Naruto walked up and continued, "So do you need me to take you home?"

Kyuubi looked conflicted for a moment before steeling her features, "Actually I need to talk to you about something. Do you have time?"

Naruto grinned and put his arms behind his head, "Sure thing, shoot."

Kyuubi shook her head, "Not here. Can we go back to your apartment, I would rather talk there."

Naruto frowned, "Okay, but is it serious or something? You look like you mean business."

Kyuubi gave him a small smile before she tapped him on his forehead, "Catch me Naruto-kun, and try to keep up."

Kyuubi took off running down the street before a shocked Naruto got himself in gear, "Hey wait! What?"

Naruto followed Kyuubi through the throng of people before she cut off into an alley. Naruto stopped in front of her, "Why did you come in here? Why am I even chasing you?"

Kyuubi looked around, "I just thought that running through a crowd of people wasn't really too appealing. Hey you can wall-walk right merc boy?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, but why?" Kyuubi giggled as she jumped on a wall and began running to the rooftops.

Naruto sighed before he followed her up the wall. As he stood with her on the roof he was slightly surprised, "You can wall-walk? Since when?"

Kyuubi looked over the rooftops along the way to Naruto's house, "My parents were very good mercenaries, they learned how to do it and then they taught me. This isn't all I can do, I'm very surprising Naruto, keep up." Kyuubi began leaping along the rooftops in the direction of Naruto's apartment.

Naruto sighed, "I can see that…" Naruto began following her as he started closing the distance between them.

XxX

Naruto ended up beating Kyuubi to his front door and turned to face her with a victorious smirk, "You had a head start and I still beat you here. I'm just as awesome as I thought I was."

Kyuubi sweat-dropped, "I let you pass me. But whatever Naruto, how are you feeling?"

Naruto flexed as he unlocked his door, "I feel as good as new, better than normal actually, I feel great. They must have pumped me full of painkillers or something right before I woke up because this is cool."

Naruto and Kyuubi walked into his house as he shut the door and both teenagers took a seat on the couches. Naruto patted his hands on his lap, "So what did you want to talk about Kyuubi-chan."

Kyuubi sighed, "Well first I-. Wait Kyuubi-chan?"

Naruto shrugged, "Well you came to see me in the hospital, I can assure you no one else but you did. And we hit it off great. I met you five days ago and I don't think I've ever gotten this close to anyone before."

Kyuubi sighed for the umpteenth time today, 'Great… That will make this just that much harder to tell him.' She rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Naruto I don't really know how to dance around this so I'll just cut to the chase. I know about what happened on Saturday." Naruto opened his mouth to rebuke but Kyuubi wasn't done, "I know because I felt it from across town. And I felt it because… You and I have something in common."

Kyuubi stood up and stood in front of Naruto, "Just watch and hold your questions until the end okay?" Naruto nodded silently and Kyuubi took a deep breath. Naruto felt the aura of the room change as a tight pressure built up around Kyuubi. Naruto watched her hair fray outward (Think like what Kurenai's hair looks like) as the black streaks deepened to trail down the length of her hair instead of just her bangs. Naruto's mouth hung open as two red fox-ears came up out of her head. Her eyes became slitted as did her pupils, whisker marks reminiscent of his own appeared on her cheeks and her canines grew in length.

As the ebb of pressure settled down she sighed and looked down, "So… Any comments?"

Naruto sat frozen in place for a moment before he moved to speak, "I think I just shit myself."

Kyuubi's eye twitched, "Drama queen, you can do it too."

Naruto stood and walked around her taking in her new features, "Yeah I guess, but my transformation didn't have the ears, and where are the tattoos? I had tattoos on my torso."

Kyuubi huffed at his insinuation, "I'm wearing a shirt you ass…"

Naruto grinned, "Show me."

Kyuubi huffed and walked to his couch to sit down, turning her features back to normal, "You know you're taking this way better than I thought you would. I expected a major freak-out or a serious case of denial, you didn't even hyperventilate."

Naruto sat back down and grinned at her, "What can I say? I'm unpredictable, and besides… It helped me beat that guy the other night when he transformed into whatever he turned into so I guess it isn't anything bad. So what, am I a demon or something?"

Kyuubi grinned at him, "Half-demon actually."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Kyuubi nodded, "As far as I can tell. I know I have demonic blood in me because my father has it too. His ancestry had a demon in it at some point and it just got carried down the line. It's stronger in some than others, but pretty much everyone in my family has it to an extent. Heightened senses, increased strength, speed, and dexterity, add all of that on the fact that you're damn near un-killable by normal means. Yep, you've got demonic genealogy in your system."

Naruto smiled, "So does that mean that we're family or something?"

Kyuubi shook her head with a sad smile, "No we're not related Naruto, sorry. You have pretty much the same genetic make-up, but something about you smells artificial, I can't really place my finger on it. It's like you weren't supposed to ever have it."

Naruto took up a thinking pose, "I don't know. Maybe someone experimented on me in the orphanage or something."

Kyuubi stood up and held up a fist, "Whatever. That's not important right now. We have to teach you to use your ascended form."

Naruto looked at the girl, "Uh un. No way am I doing it again when I don't have to. It was cool and everything when I kicked that guy's ass, but if it's going to put me in the hospital every time I do it then I'd rather not. I don't really like having my every move put me in agonizing agony. Actually why aren't you in any pain?"

Kyuubi sat next to Naruto on his couch, "It's because I'm used to it, I've been using my form for years. If you learn how to do it I can teach you all kinds of cool things that will make you stronger." She grasped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, "The first time you use it is always painful because your body isn't used to the youki in your system. The more you use it the easier it is to harness, eventually you can just snap in and out of transformations like this see?"

She instantly transformed into her ascended form and back to normal. Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "If you could do that then why didn't you just pop into your demon form at first? You didn't have to be all dramatic and draw it out, showboat."

Kyuubi smacked him on the head and stood up, "Help me move the couch. I'm gonna teach you how to transform on your own." Naruto shrugged but stood and complied. As Naruto and Kyuubi stood in the center of the room she put her hands on her hips, "Okay, now the most important thing I can teach you is how to pull out your youki, you should be okay to call on it after your mini-coma, that was just a period of time to get your body used to the demonic flow of power."

Naruto flopped his arms, "Okay… What do I do?"

Kyuubi stepped back to give him some space, "You should know what it felt like after using it once, just… bring it out."

Naruto stiffened and grunted trying to exert the power until he finally stood back up and gave Kyuubi an apologetic smile, "I can't do it, sorry."

Kyuubi face-fell, "How can you not be able to do it? You called it once already. Everyone else in my family could use it after one transformation! What's wrong with you?"

Naruto growled, "Hey! You said I wasn't from your family, you even said I wasn't supposed to have this power anyway. How the hell should I know? I was getting my ass kicked by a hulking brute-ass guy with a demonic hickey on his neck! I thought I was going to die!"

Kyuubi put a finger to her lips, "So getting put into a stressful situation made you call on your youki to fight back…" Kyuubi smirked as she began to sashay up to Naruto and wrap her arms around him. Naruto tensed up and began backing towards the wall as she spoke sweetly to him, "Oh Naru-kun… Don't tell me you're afraid of a little body contact with me…"

She pouted as she pulled herself closer, "Please don't reject me Naruto… You're the only man I trust, I need you." She smirked as she narrowed her eyes, "We can go back to your room for a little bit, I'm sure we can work that pesky youki out of your system. All it will take is a little… coaxing."

Naruto's eye trembled as his ascended form flickered on for a moment. Kyuubi backed off with a smile, "Well at least I know that it activates out of instinct when you're emotionally distressed. Okay, afterschool tomorrow come with me to my house, we'll work on your control there."

She walked to his front door as Naruto regained his bearings, "Wait a damn minute! What the hell was all that? You're just gonna leave after that?"

Kyuubi looked as if she was thinking about it for a moment before she chirped her answer, "Yep! I'll see you tomorrow Naruto." She shut his door and left him in the room.

Naruto heaved a sigh and walked back to his room, "Great, I need a damn cold shower now…" Naruto grabbed a towel from his room and grumbled as he walked towards the bathroom, "…Fucking tease…"

XxX

Naruto made his way to the headquarters for Hein Company and was once again greeted by Haku at the door, "Haku-chan why are you always here in the morning? Your cover is a high-school student just like me, aren't you always late?"

Haku smiled pleasantly at him, "No Naruto-kun, I'm faster than you remember? And my school is closer than yours."

Naruto remembered why he came, "Oh yeah by the way I did your job for you. Happy freaking birthday to me."

Haku walked alongside Naruto as they headed through the facility, "What happened Naruto-kun? The dossier didn't make him out to be very tough."

Naruto waved at a few of the people they passed, "Alone, no he was a pushover, but after he activated his damn devil's love mark he fucking owned me, I beat his ass and finished the job but I ended up in the hospital for all of my trouble."

Haku smiled, "Well I guess I should be glad that I didn't take the mission then, thank you Naruto-kun. Oh and by the way Obito-san and Kakashi-san are back from their own assignment."

Naruto shook his head, "Why are all of my friends mercenaries? I can't have normal friends and meet normal girls and live like a regular kid, I have to have friends that can kick my ass or kill me and can hide the body, I have to meet super-hot demon chicks and get cock-teased in my own house."

Haku gave Naruto a blank look and he sweat-dropped after he finished his statement. Haku sighed, "I'm not even going to ask Naruto-kun, let's just let that one die." Naruto nodded as they finally entered the office and walked up to the receptionist to make his debriefing. As he presented the token of success the receptionist counted up his money and handed it over.

Naruto danced with the money in his hands, "Yes, yes, yes. This is rent and utilities for the next few months." Naruto stopped as he saw a familiar sight. A black-haired man with an eyepatch and a toothpick walked into the office. Naruto grinned as he walked over, "Obito-niisan!"

Obito turned and shot Naruto a goofy grin, "Whisker-chan! Hey little buddy!"

Naruto growled at Obito, "Stop calling me that damn it. It lost its appeal when I left the fifth grade." A man with a wrap covering his left eye ambled in with a cup of coffee as Naruto turned to him, "Hey Kakashi-niisan, miss me?"

Kakashi ruffled his hair, "Actually I was basking in the silence, but then I forgot Obito was with me."

Obito glared at Kakashi, "Fuck you Kakashi, I'm better than him."

Naruto shook his hands, "Both of you chill out before I text Rin-neechan and tip her off that you idiots are arguing."

Obito turned back to Naruto, "Did you get our gift you blonde street-rat?"

Naruto made the cross hand-sign as two more Naruto's popped into existence and linked arms before making a long wave with the gripped appendages. Naruto dispelled the Kage Bunshin, "I worked that jutsu out quickly, but I still haven't gotten a chance to make them explode. I can't find a good place in the city to use it. Maybe if you let me join the company I could use the training field to my leisure?"

Kakashi ruffled his hair, "Maybe soon Naruto, you're too young right now."

Naruto stomped, "Bullcrap. What am I the intern or something? 'Get you your coffee boss?' Or some shit like that?"

Naruto got hit across the back of the head and turned to face Rin, "Watch your mouth Naruto-kun, and go to school. Haku already left so I know you're late."

Naruto pulled out his phone and checked the time, "Oh crap I'm screwed! Bye you guys I'll see you later!" Naruto turned and ran up the stairs to the roof.

As he reached the rooftop he stretched a bit before he stepped back and ran to begin springing from rooftop to rooftop, 'This feels great! Kyuubi-chan was right, I feel way stronger now than the last time I did this.' After a few minutes he landed at the front gate just as the bell rang, "Damn it!"

Naruto walked to his class in a defeated manner. As he slinked into the class in the middle of his lecture the teacher gave him a look. Naruto shook his head and walked to his seat, "Just let it go Iruka I don't have an excuse." Iruka cleared his throat as he continued his lecture, Naruto walked over to the desk beside Kyuubi who had placed her bag in the chair to save him a spot.

Kyuubi gave him a beaming smile, "Good morning Naruto-kun!"

Naruto shot her a dull look, "I'm still pissed off at you."

Kyuubi frowned at him, "You're still upset about what I did yesterday? I did it to test my theory."

Naruto grumbled, "Well you could have at least followed through… Fucking messing with my head."

Kyuubi smirked, "Oh so you do want to fuck me?"

Naruto blushed, "If I said yes would you hit me?" Kyuubi shook her head 'no.' Naruto shrugged and gave her a serious look, "Yes… Yes I do, no sense in lying about it. I will take whatever you give me, no joke."

Kyuubi stroked his face, "Oh Naruto… Thank you for being honest with me." She lightly slapped him, "No way in hell. There is no way in hell that I'm that easy. Try again in two years and see where you stand." She ended up thinking to herself, 'And by two years I mean six months.'

Naruto gave her puppy-dog eyes that made her laugh and get Iruka's attention, "Naruto pay attention would you, I'm not doing this for my benefit."

Naruto shot back, "But you're getting paid for it so how aren't you?"

Iruka scratched his head, "Okay it is for my benefit, but I get paid regardless of what you make so you need it more, unless you'd like to repeat the class."

Naruto nodded and put his head down on the desk while looking ahead.

XxX

At lunch Naruto and Kyuubi grabbed a table and sat down. Kyuubi had gotten in line and gotten her food as Naruto held the table for her. She sat down and looked over at Naruto, "You can go get your food now Naruto."

Naruto shook his head, "No I think I'll just wait to get something after school."

Kyuubi raised an eyebrow, "You're going to wait for like three hours to eat? Why?"

Naruto smirked, "Because this shit sucks, just because I am an orphan doesn't mean I have to eat like I still live at the orphanage, I hate this shit." Naruto looked at her tray, "I would like to get that roll though."

Kyuubi picked up the roll and held it out, as Naruto reached for in she pulled it back and took a bite, "Mmm that's really good, you should've gotten a tray Naruto."

Naruto glared at her, "That wasn't necessary you know."

"Naruto."

Naruto turned to see Sasuke walking towards the table. Naruto smirked as he walked over, "What's up lawdog, how's the station?"

Sasuke sat down and shook his head, "I'm not a cop yet Naruto."

He turned his attention to Kyuubi, "A girl sitting with Naruto? What the hell did he do, save your life?"

Kyuubi chuckled, "That's a lot closer than you think. My name is Kyuubi."

Sasuke shot a disbelieving look at Naruto who just gave him a look that said, 'Just go with it.' Sasuke shrugged, "I'm Sasuke Uchiha, nice to meet you."

Kyuubi shook his hand, "Same here, though I don't get why you'd sit with Naruto here. From what I've seen people seem to like you a lot, you seem very popular. They treat Naruto like he's got the plague or something."

Sasuke shook his head as he leaned back in his chair, "It's because he's been an orphan for as long as he's been in school, it's completely stupid. I hang out with him because he's real, these kids don't see me, they see my name. My brother Itachi told me this would happen before I even got to middle school and he's right. People I've never met are always running up on me trying to get on my good side because my dad runs the police force and we're loaded."

He jerked his thumb at Naruto, "This idiot is the only guy that has ever, EVER treated me like a normal guy his age. He messes with me, cracks jokes on me, and makes jokes about my mom."

Naruto cut in, "His mom is awesome by the way."

Sasuke let a smirk appear on his face, "Even though I know he only hangs out with me to get the girls that I don't give a damn about-."

Naruto cut back in, "Which has never worked by the way in over 5 years of hanging out with his ass."

Sasuke continued, "I'd rather have one friend that's real then a bunch of sheep that would flock to anybody with status."

Naruto fake sniffled, "I love you too deputy."

Sasuke hit his forehead with his hand, "Damn it I am not a cop! I'm not even a trainee yet."

Naruto grinned, "You walk like a cop, you talk like a cop, you eat like a cop, and you fight like a cop. You. Are. A. COP!"

Sasuke smiled slightly, "Speaking of fighting, how would you like to get your ass kicked again sometime?"

Naruto chuckled as he gave Sasuke an incredulous look, "Really? Your flashy Uchiha Intercepting Fist can't beat me one-on-one."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, "And your stupid idea to pull fighting moves off of Youtube and string them together to make a bastardized half-assed hybrid of like 22 styles is really revolutionary and original?"

Naruto pointed a fist at Sasuke, "It works doesn't it? I pretty much never get my ass kicked do I? And I beat your dick in the dirt on a regular basis don't I?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto who just chuckled, "Well look at it this way… If you can beat me, then any stupid thug you come across while walking the beat would be simple wouldn't it?" The bell rang signifying the end of lunch. Naruto stood up and stretched, "Well I'll see you later officer, I need to escort my lady friend to class." Sasuke stood up and walked away throwing a half-hearted wave over his shoulder.

Naruto and Kyuubi walked to their next class as Kyuubi began speaking, "So is he your best friend?"

Naruto nodded, "He's as close as I'm going to get. Thanks to that guy I will never get beaten up by a cop, ever. The only people in his family, or in the police force that fight better than him are his brother and his dad. His brother kicked my ass though…"

Kyuubi fake pouted, "What about me? I thought I was your best friend."

Naruto grinned, "You want to be my best friend?" Kyuubi nodded, "Then sleep with me. That will make us good friends."

Kyuubi hit him in the arm as she broke off to walk into her classroom, "Remember you idiot. My house after school, it's time to whip your sorry ass into shape."

Naruto made a talking gesture with his hand, "Yeah, sure whatever."

Naruto walked to his study hall as the bell rang while he was caught in the hallway. Naruto cursed, "I'm friggin late again. Screw this I'm skipping, what are they going to do, call home?" Naruto stopped in front of the closed door of his classroom and checked to see if anyone was around, "This is as good a time as any to try this crap out." Naruto made a cross seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)."

One clone popped in front of him, "Alright man, go and handle my light work, and for the love of God do not get dispelled. For Christ's sake we are dead if you do, just last 45 minutes and you can jump out of the damn window for all I care. I'm going to grab some lunch because Kyuubi-chan's lunch actually looked pretty good, I'm starved, now get in there."

Naruto and the clone parted ways as Naruto walked out of the building.

**Another set-up chapter. It's going to take a few of these to set up characters important to the story and a few basic premises so bear with me. You may be wondering, "Kenchi are you really going to keep pumping out chapters so quickly? How can you do it?" Well the answer is very simple, yes I am, and it's because I'm fucking magical.**

**Time for more painkillers, Kenchi out.**


	5. The Nature of the Beast

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… In this universe. I'm sure that somewhere out in endiness there is a dimension or universe where me or someone I know might own Naruto. A belief like that helps me sleep at night.

**Chapter 5: The Nature of the Beast**

Naruto waited out in front of the school sitting on a bench waiting for the doors to open with a bowl of take-out ramen on his lap. Just as the bell rang a familiar car pulled up with a familiar symbol on the back. Naruto simply looked on to see three pairs of dark eyes staring at him. Naruto simply waved at them before turning his attention back to his ramen.

Naruto noticed the doors open as tons of students spilled out eager to get back home. Naruto noticed Sasuke and Kyuubi walking with one another, Sasuke with an uncharacteristic smile on his face as Kyuubi had on a victorious smirk.

Naruto stood to greet the two, "Hey you guys what's up? Sasuke you seem uncharacteristically chipper today."

Sasuke nodded with a smile, "Naruto where did you find this girl, she's awesome."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Kyuubi, "He called you awesome… What did you do?"

Kyuubi simply shifted her stance and rolled her eyes.

_(Flashback- Three minutes ago, inside the school)_

_Sasuke had spent the last class sitting with Kyuubi seeing as they both had the same class and she seemed like she would be decent to be around. They both hit it off in just one hour and were now exiting the school along with every other student after the bell to let out classes rang._

_Sasuke rubbed his eyes in disbelief, "So you really did meet the urchin because he saved you… Wow I was joking when I said that." _

_Kyuubi giggled slightly, 'Well I didn't really need his help. But Sasuke doesn't need to know that much.' Kyuubi nodded, "Yep, and I guess I kind of latched on to him because I'm new around here. He seemed nice enough and he proved me right."_

_Sasuke and Kyuubi's paths were blocked by two girls leading a group of even more upset females. The two girls of course were Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka. Sakura stepped forward and pointed at Kyuubi, "Sasuke-kun, why would you hang out with the new girl here? We don't even know anything about her." _

_Ino jumped in next, "I heard she went home with Naruto last week after school. And now she's with Sasuke. Why would Sasuke-kun want to be around a girl that hangs out with Naruto-baka."_

_Sasuke cut in at this point, "Get out of our way. We both have somewhere to be right now, and I can hang around with whoever I want, you don't have any claim on me."_

_Kyuubi spoke to back up Sasuke, "He probably enjoys my company because I'm not some airhead like the rest of you. I can actually carry on a compelling conversation that doesn't end with me glowering on him. And as for Naruto, He's a good person and I consider him a friend and I hope Sasuke could end up as my friend too. I don't have any romantic interest in Sasuke, and I really can't feel any from him towards me, so calm down and get your priorities straight. Stop fumbling over yourselves and grow up."_

_Sasuke and Kyuubi walked through the crowd of girls as they stood fuming behind them. Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kyuubi's retreating form, 'That red-haired whore! She can't talk about me like that." _

_Ino spoke up over the rest of the girls chattering, "She doesn't want Sasuke-kun? I guess she has a thing for fucking orphans or something."_

_Kyuubi and Sasuke stopped midstride as Sasuke looked at Kyuubi nervously, 'Oh damn that was really stupid.' _

_Kyuubi sighed and turned back around to lock eyes with Ino, "Would you mind coming over here and repeating that? I didn't quite catch it. You can bring your pink-haired friend too if it makes you feel safer."_

_Ino smugly walked up to Kyuubi and repeated herself. Kyuubi looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, "That's what I thought you said…" Kyuubi walked up to Ino and got into her face, "I don't know you and you don't know me so let me tell you a little about myself; I really can't stand vain, shallow princesses like you. Let Naruto be, he's pretty much quit on trying to be civil with you and I think I'll throw my hat in with him. I stick with Naruto because he's closer to a real man than any of the little boys around here. Now get out of my face before I have to dirty my hands and mess up your pretty little face."_

_She turned back to Sasuke and walked away. Sasuke looked at her with a stunned face before shaking it off and walking away._

_(Flashback end)_

Naruto grinned at Kyuubi, "Have I told you I love you today?"

Kyuubi grinned smugly back, "No but I expect to hear it soon."

Sasuke looked at the two, "What are you guys doing now?"

Naruto smirked smugly and shot Sasuke a double thumbs up, "Going to Kyuubi-chan's house!"

Sasuke lifted his eyebrow and looked at Kyuubi who just shrugged, "What? You want to come too?"

Sasuke chuckled at Kyuubi and waved it off, "As per usual I'm expected back at the station like I am on most days, you know? Son of the chief and everything."

Naruto looked over at the squad car full of glaring black eyes that swirled with red for a moment, Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Fine, go play with your Sharingan and your handcuffs copper."

Sasuke shook his head, "Jealous Naruto? That's not like you. Alright Naruto, Kyuubi, I'm out of here. I'll see you guys later." Sasuke walked to the waiting car out front.

Naruto looked at Kyuubi, "So how is this 'training' of yours going to work?"

Kyuubi grabbed Naruto's arm and pulled him away to begin walking to her house, "Oh we have plenty of time for that when we get there. By the way, we're not coming back for like a week."

Naruto paled, "You could've mentioned that beforehand. Can I go grab some stuff?"

Kyuubi smiled, "Nope, now come on lets go." Naruto sighed defeatedly and hung his head low as the red-haired girl pulled him through the streets.

Ino and Sakura watched as Kyuubi pulled a disgruntled Naruto away from the school. Sakura shook her head, "What does she see in him? What does Sasuke-kun see in her? He's never talked to us as easily as he did to her."

Ino huffed, "Who cares? If she wants to spend her time on Naruto-baka let her have the orphan."

Sakura growled, 'She better stay away from my Sasuke-kun.'

XxX

Naruto and Kyuubi had made it to her house with no issue and were just sitting in her living room watching TV. Naruto looked around Kyuubi's expensive looking liveng room and sighed, "Yep… This is some real training alright. I can see why I couldn't go home to grab my shit before we came over here for roughly a week."

Kyuubi shot him a half-hearted glare, "Shut up Naruto. I thought daddy would have been home by the time we got here. We need him to get started working on using your youki."

Naruto shifted in his seat, "Yeah, but you're forgetting something. I STILL CAN'T USE ANY YOUKI YET!" Naruto gritted his teeth, "All you did was tease me, you didn't really do anything to help."

Kyuubi sighed, "Stand up Naruto." Naruto followed her directions, "Now think back to when you were fighting in the park. How did you feel?" As Naruto opened his mouth Kyuubi gestured him to be silent, "Don't tell me. Just call on how you were feeling and use it to pull out the same power you felt after you started fighting back."

Naruto nodded and stood in silence for a moment before he finally opened his eyes. Kyuubi smiled as she saw his eyes were slitted, "Ah… I think you've got it."

Naruto frowned, "Are you sure Kyuubi-chan? I mean I looked different the first time I did it."

Kyuubi nodded as she walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders, "You triggered your ascended form out of necessity to live. If you want to do it again on command then you need to train your body to handle that level. Make no mistake about it Naruto-kun, you activated your youki, now I can teach you all sorts of cool things."

Naruto smirked, "You're going to teach me? Can you even fight? What can you show me how to do?"

Kyuubi got a tick over her eye and smacked Naruto in the head, "You dumbass! I've been using my own youki since I was eleven! I can fight better than you can!"

Naruto chuckled, "Yeah, I'll believe that… Have you actually fought real opponents or just your dad in spars?" Kyuubi stuttered as Naruto broke out into a grin, "I'll take that as the latter. You've been using youki since you were eleven? I've been fighting grown men and trained fighters in real deal fights since I was nine, and have been winning." Naruto flicked out his hand in a dismissive fashion, "You can't win a fight with me, youki or not. I'm actually experienced and you might be used to using attacks with your demonic powers, but I have power of my own to match it."

Kyuubi got in his face, "Oh yeah? Well come on and prove it then, I'll beat the crap out of you."

Naruto backed up, "Lead the way then, I won't hurt you too bad." Kyuubi humphed and stomped towards the back of her house.

XxX

Naruto and Kyuubi were standing in the middle of her huge backyard. Privacy in the yard was kept up by a massive stone wall over sixteen feet high. Kyuubi walked over to the wall and channeled some red power into the stone. Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "What did you just do?"

Kyuubi grinned, "I just put up a privacy barrier over our yard. So no one will hear you scream."

Naruto scratched his head, "There are a lot of inappropriate things I could say about that comment you just made, but since you're about to try and fight me I don't think pissing you off is really a good idea right now."

Kyuubi dead-panned him a look and put up a middle finger at Naruto. Naruto grinned back at her, "I would love to actually. Is that an offer?" Kyuubi rushed at him and launched a punch that Naruto grabbed, "I guess I'll take that as a rain-check." Naruto pulled her arm forward as Kyuubi cart-wheeled to follow through with Naruto's grapple. As Kyuubi landed in a crouch she lunged out at Naruto with a slash of her nails that Naruto back-stepped away from.

As he got his distance he dabbed his hand across his face and felt blood. Naruto smirked and chuckled, "Me-reow." Kyuubi used youki to retract her claws and came running back at Naruto again. Naruto set himself into his basic stand-up stance and side-stepped Kyuubi's front kick and sent out a short kick to the leg that was still on the ground making her fall to the ground.

Kyuubi growled and stood back up glaring at Naruto, "Fight me for real Naruto!"

Naruto frowned, "Why? You're still fighting me like this is a spar with your family. When I usually spar I have to dodge a big-ass sword, or avoid getting razor-sharp needles stuck in my ass. This is nowhere near the level I usually spar at, so _you _fight _me_ right, step it up!"

Kyuubi's eyes became slitted, "You asked for it Naruto… Kitsune-bi!" Kyuubi formed a blue fire in her hand and threw it at Naruto. Naruto's eyes widened as he saw the flame coming and dodged before the fire hit where his body once was and engulfed the area in flames.

Naruto stared back at a smirking Kyuubi, "What the hell was that?"

Kyuubi formed another fireball in her hand, "This is one of the most basic demonic techniques you can learn. It uses your youki to bend the air around you into a flame that you can use for a lot of things, like burning the hell out of obnoxious boys."

Naruto's cursed as he saw the flame grow and launch at him, "Oh hell no, Suiton: Teppodama!" Naruto launched a forceful bullet of water from his mouth and had it collide with the fire. As the two attacks collided steam filled the immediate area obscuring vision. Naruto quickly left the open battlefield as it was shrouded in haze and took to hiding.

Naruto inwardly chuckled, 'Hah, this is perfect. I was partially trained by Zabuza, the 'Demon of the Hidden Mist' so this should be easy.' Naruto put his body low to the ground in order to begin skulking towards his opponent stealthily, 'Here I come Kyuubi-chan… Get ready for me…'

Naruto heard a feminine chuckle from within the steam, "Found you Naruto-kun…"

Naruto's eye lifted, "Say what now?" The girl came running out of the mist swiftly and began furiously swiping at Naruto's body and head with her extended nails while he was in a steady retreat, "What the hell? You don't seem like you're this fast or composed regularly."

Kyuubi scratched Naruto on the side of his neck, drawing blood, before kicking him in the face, "I told you I've been using youki to fight since I was eleven. You may be pretty capable as a fighter, but until you can use youki you're still only human, and a human is always at a disadvantage against a demon, even hanyou like us have the upper hand over humans." She licked Naruto's blood off of her nails, "And like I said before, we have heightened senses. I could smell you in the mist."

Naruto straightened up, "Okay that thing with my blood was oddly kind of hot…" Naruto set himself back into his stance, "But I will not lose, demon or not I will beat you!" He formed the cross seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

Naruto and ten clones appeared around Kyuubi who just smirked, "Okay, ten replications, that's pretty nice. But nothing that I can't handle." The fog cleared from the field showing that the yard had about closer to one-hundred clones surrounding her, "Okay that is absurd."

The Naruto's sounded off in tandem, "We're not done yet." The real Naruto raised his arm in the sky to snap his fingers, "One move and you and your yard will look like no man's land, I can assume that you don't know any jutsu that can get you out of this like Kawarimi (Substitution Jutsu) or anything, so give up."

Kyuubi bit her lip and sighed, "Fine, I quit. I'm not getting in trouble because my friend thought it would be a good idea to blow the backyard to bits." Naruto and his clones pouted. Kyuubi looked at the disheartened Narutos in confusion, "What's wrong with you guys? You won."

Naruto started dispelling his clones, "Well yeah, but we still haven't gotten to use Bunshin Dabakuha (Great Clone Explosion) yet! I want to see the explosion!"

Kyuubi sweat-dropped and looked Naruto's face over. She grabbed his cheeks and looked over the scratches she gave him, "I cut you kind of deeply. I guess I'll fix it for you."

Naruto waved his hands in a dismissive manner, "That's alright, I'm fine, I get cut all the time and this is a baby-scratch compared to others. Don't fuss Kyuubi-chan." Kyuubi grabbed Naruto and dragged him into the house. Kyuubi sat Naruto on a stool in the kitchen and pulled out a first-aid kit from under the sink.

Naruto sighed as she started treating the scratches, "You're just wasting stuff you know… I would have healed up in a day. I always do."

Kyuubi huffed, "That's not healthy you idiot, now sit still." Kyuubi's cell phone in the living room went off as she worked on Naruto's face.

The girl sighed and directed Naruto to follow as she went to check her phone. She opened it and read for a moment before getting an exasperated look on her face, "Unfortunately for us my mom and dad will not be with us this evening, or any evening for that matter. They are stuck in the lab doing only God knows what so who knows when they'll come back."

Naruto frowned, "Well what about my training then? Am I just shit out of luck?"

Kyuubi shook her head, "No, I can still do it myself, it might be harder though, my dad is stronger than me."

Naruto smiled, "I'm sure you can teach me just fine. As long as you know what you're doing it'll be okay."

Kyuubi smiled and looked at the clock, "Okay it's like seven, I said we can't leave for a week, and I'm hungry. I'm getting a pizza, what do you want on it?"

Naruto sat back on the couch waving his hand in a dismissive fashion, "I don't care… whatever you want."

Kyuubi left the room while Naruto was again looking around in Kyuubi's living room, "Man, for being a broke-ass orphan kid I sure have some rich friends." Naruto watched as Kyuubi walked back through the room, more specifically he watched her leave, "And some good looking ones."

Naruto smirked to himself as he set back to watching TV.

XxX

Sasuke walked through the streets of the Res just after sunset with Itachi, "Itachi I can't believe you dragged me to the store to stock up on your damn pocky."

Itachi gave a faint smile, "I thought you were getting sick of just sitting in the station."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, and walking to get some candy that I don't like is really a much better way to spend my time." Itachi shook his head silently as he and Itachi walked silently along the streets.

Out of their field of notice a van rolled up. One of the men sitting as passengers looked out of the windshield at the two brothers, "So those are the sons of Captain Fugaku? The Uchiha heirs?" The driver nodded, "Yeah, now we just wait and pick our spot to take them down."

A groan came from the man in the passenger's seat, "Who knows how long that could take? Maybe days!"

"Shut up! If that's as long as it takes to get rid of these brats then that's how long it's gonna take!" The driver snapped at the others in the car.

Sasuke shot a look at Itachi, "Aniki, you know those guys in that van a little way back are watching us right?" Itachi nodded and Sasuke continued, "So can I just send a fireball over there and let it end like that?"

Itachi flicked Sasuke on the forehead, "No Sasuke. We are not mercenaries with the freedom to do that and disappear, we are law enforcement officials of the city, we cannot go outside the lines set for officers."

Sasuke sighed, "It would be so much easier… Naruto would have agreed to fry those guys and get moving."

Itachi chuckled mirthlessly, "And that's why Naruto isn't trying to be a policeman. Only Uchiha are known to use fire-type jutsu like that. Were you to as you put it, 'fry those guys,' the police force would be the first to be questioned. Just be patient little brother. We will lead them somewhere to handle this ourselves rest assured."

Sasuke nodded, "Are mercenaries our enemies Itachi?"

Itachi shot Sasuke a look, "You mean is Naruto your enemy?" When Sasuke tensed up Itachi's lips quirked, "Well it's hard to explain Sasuke. That used to be the case and still is to an extent. But quite a few mercenary forces have a sort of symbiotic relationship with the law, both working to help the other. Only time will truly tell which one young Uzumaki will be."

Sasuke rubbed his neck, "How did you know Naruto wanted to be a mercenary? He only just told me that not too long ago and there was nobody around."

Itachi looked off into the distance, "I could tell when I fought him that day. He was very good, and he could take a punch, a lot of them actually. He was way stronger than even a common thug should be. He didn't use any jutsu, but simply the way he tried to jump through any opening he could find was reminiscent of the way many mercenaries that I've fought went about in combat."

Itachi smiled at his brother, "You two are going to be something in a few years Sasuke. I can already tell."

Sasuke smirked at Itachi, "Sooner that you think aniki."

XxX

Kyuubi and Naruto had spent the rest of the evening doing basically nothing but watching TV and talking to each other about random things.

Kyuubi fell back on the couch laughing, "I can't believe you let someone do that to you haha!"

Naruto pouted, "I don't _let_ her do anything. Haku-neechan is way faster than me. She'll eventually get me regardless."

Kyuubi sat back up wiping a tear from her eye, "But she stuck senbon in both of your asscheeks and then she tripped you! That's so cruel, so hilariously cruel."

Naruto grumbled, "Thanks Kyuubi-chan, just makes me feel so much better about being myself."

Kyuubi walked over and pinched his cheek, "Aww anytime Naruto-kun." She looked up at the clock that had hit 12:34, "Okay, time to get to bed, we actually do have to get up tomorrow to start training."

Kyuubi grabbed Naruto by his arm and dragged him into a room, "Damn woman stop dragging me, I've got legs you know." Naruto took a few sniffs of the darkened room, "It smells too girly to be a guest room."

Kyuubi sighed, "It smells girly because it's a girl's room stupid." Kyuubi flipped on the light to reveal mauve walls and a pretty basic set up for a girl's room except for the massive bed with pillows all over it.

Naruto's eye twitched, "Geez you think you have enough pillows?" Naruto looked around, "Why am I even in here?"

Kyuubi went over to her dresser and started looking through it, "You're sleeping in here, duh."

Naruto paled, "I thought you had guest rooms, your house is massive, how can you not?"

Kyuubi pulled out some nightclothes for herself, "Every room in my house has uses Naruto-kun. They didn't really plan for overnight company when we moved here."

Naruto looked at the hardwood floor, "So I guess I'm hitting the hardwood tonight. Awesome…" Naruto pulled off his button-up shirt, leaving on his tank-top and laid down on the floor until

Kyuubi stood over him changed in a tank-top of her own and short pants showing much of her legs, "What are you doing Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably on the ground, "Um… Sleeping on the floor?"

Kyuubi kicked him forcing him to sit up, "No you're not. If you sleep on the floor you're going to be stiff as a board tomorrow, and I'm not skipping school for days at a time just to waste one working your muscles back into working order, get in the bed."

Naruto looked at the bed and back at Kyuubi, "You sure? If we both sleep in the bed it might get awkward. And I don't want to hear it in the morning." Kyuubi pointed to the bed firmly, leaving no room for argument. Naruto shrugged and got up to climb under the comforter.

Kyuubi got in on the same side and pushed him over, "Move Naruto-kun this is my side."

Naruto chuckled, "Territorial aren't we?"

Kyuubi adjusted herself and smirked at Naruto, "You don't even know."

Kyuubi got up and turned off the light before getting back into bed. Naruto looked around in the dark and chuckled, "If you told me last week that I'd be in the bed of some girl I just met… Well I'd have been fucking stoked about it."

Kyuubi giggled, "Just go to sleep Naruto-kun *yawn* we can talk in the morning… before I break you."

Naruto shut his eyes with a smile, "Whatever you say Kyuubi-chan, whatever you say."

XxX

Sasuke and Itachi had by now walked into the city and had traipsed into a backlot area behind a series of buildings. As the brothers turned around a van flew around the corner and stopped in front of them. Four men poured out of the van with masks on their faces and stood in front of the brothers.

Sasuke looked at Itachi, "So can we fight them now Itachi?"

Itachi looked on in disinterest, "I guess you can take them Sasuke, you should be more than enough for this."

Sasuke smirked as he set himself in his stance for Intercepting Fist. Sasuke looked at his attackers with his two tomoe Sharingan blazing, "Alright then, come and get a piece of the Uchiha."

**I don't have any smart-ass comments to say for this chapter, because painkillers are awesome. That's it, that's all I have to say, they kick ass. I've been sleeping like a fucking sloth all day it's amazing and I only got up to finish the chapter and put it out before midnight because I have OCD like that. God 8 o'clock classes are going to be out of my reach tomorrow.**

**Get your read on, get your review on… I'm gonna get my sleep on, holla back.**

**Kenchi out.**


	6. Running Before You Walk

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did I would be saying fuck college right now because I hate this place, it's like high school only this time I go to jail when I beat the shit out of people. I'm going broke just paying bail every weekend.

**Chapter 6: Running Before You Walk**

Sasuke's smirk stayed intact as he looked at his four adversaries across the lot. The four masked men stared down the Uchiha brothers as Sasuke stared them down. Itachi simply stepped back and pulled some pocky from his pocket, "Sasuke, anytime you'd like to do this I want to go home, we've been wandering the streets for hours now."

Sasuke chuckled, "Yeah, dad's probably really pissed off yeah?" Sasuke brushed the hair from his face, "You know for guys that have been waiting to jump us you sure aren't too eager to start fighting." The thugs stepped forward one step.

Sasuke rushed ahead and planted a kick into the lead man's sternum, Sasuke smiled as he heard the man exhale forcefully. This was the cue for the others to begin swarming the Uchiha boy. They came forward with punches and kicks that hit nothing but air and Sasuke's forearms as he dodged and blocked everything.

As one man threw a wide swinging kick Sasuke swatted his leg forward to kick his own partner in the body which forced him to stumble to the side, that caused the last man to lose his balance and fall to the ground as Sasuke flipped back to regain some distance. Sasuke shook his head and scratched his nose, "Wow, I guess Naruto was right when he said random thugs wouldn't be hard at all, this is kind of pathetic."

Sasuke noticed the men pulling each other to their feet and sweat-dropped, "Did you guys at least bring weapons or something? That might make this fair."

One of the thugs growled at Sasuke, "You two are just teenagers, we don't need weapons for you!"

Sasuke began going through hand-signs, "Yes you do, because I _am_ a weapon, Katon: Gokakyu no Ju-!"

"Sasuke no."

Sasuke held his breath and stopped the jutsu to look back at his brother, "Itachi what? I was going to end the fight."

Itachi stood impassive, "Not like that, it's too messy and would be really hard to explain."

Sasuke sighed, "You suck Itachi… Fine, you losers come on in and get some more."

One thug yelled, "I've had enough of this brat! Take him down now!" He ran in but Sasuke darted forward into his guard and landed an uppercut to his chin, Sasuke leapt up as a follow-up and kicked him in the head sending him rolling to his partner's feet in a heap.

Sasuke stood back in his stance and motioned for the rest to come forward, "Next please…"

The thugs picked up their fallen comrade and piled back into the van before speeding off. Sasuke looked upset as they drove away, "Hey wait! Come back you cowards!"

Sasuke took off to intercept the van until Itachi's voice rang out sternly, "Sasuke stop! Let them go."

Sasuke stumbled to a stop as he turned to face Itachi. Before Sasuke could open his mouth Itachi explained, "I know you want to give chase, but at least we all know that they were definitely after us tonight. We should go home and talk to father about this and let the police handle this."

Sasuke seethed, "We are the police Itachi!"

Itachi shook his head, "No little brother, I am the police, you are still a trainee."

Sasuke walked back to Itachi looking down, "That is a load of crap you know that right?"

Itachi smiled, "Maybe so, but it is the law Sasuke."

Sasuke and Itachi began to walk back to their house. Sasuke looked at Itachi and sighed, "The law sucks sometimes."

Itachi looked at Sasuke as a small smile appeared on his face, "That my dear brother is the one definite difference between mercenaries and the police."

XxX

Naruto was conscious far before he opened his eyes, there was no obnoxious blasting alarm clock by his head on this morning, that was the first thing he perceived as strange on this day. Naruto's next thought was the strange smell that he sensed in the room, it wasn't the bland normality of his usual abode that he had been accustomed to for years. The smell almost overpowered him at first, a sweet smell that he damn sure knew wasn't anything he owned.

He finally noticed a weight on his chest, 'What the hell? I don't have any damn heavy pillows like this in my house…' Naruto opened his eyes and slowly adjusted to the light of the morning until his eyes focused on the red-haired man at the door.

Naruto drew a blank as to where the hell he was until he remembered who the man was, 'Oh that's Isshin, Kyuubi-chan's dad.' Naruto then quirked an eyebrow at the man he was making eye-contact with. As the staring contest drew on Isshin grew tick marks on the side of his head, 'Okay, Isshin looks pissed, but why the hell is _he_ pissed? He's in my damn house.'

Naruto then took a look around before he sweat-dropped, 'Okay, this isn't my room, I'm in Kyuubi-chan's room I remember now. But why is he pissed at me?'

Naruto then felt a shifting on his body. As he looked down he was greeted with a mop of red hair and a content look on the face of Kyuubi. Naruto looked up to see Isshin silently seething, Naruto nodded and made an 'O' shape with his mouth, 'Okay I see why he's pissed… Goddamn it I told her I didn't want to deal with this shit in the morning.'

Naruto freed his arms to shrug at the red-haired man at the door. Naruto silently mouthed at the man, "I don't know what to tell you sir."

The man sighed and shook his head before leaving and shutting the door.

Kyuubi began moving to cross her legs with Naruto's as she sighed in her sleep. Naruto shrugged, "Oh why the hell not? Let's go with this for now." Naruto wrapped his arms around the girl and continued to sleep.

XxX

Four hours later Naruto and Kyuubi were sitting in the backyard of her house as Kyuubi was pouting and facing the opposite direction of the blonde boy.

Naruto sighed as he looked at the girl with her back turned, "What the hell did I do? I told you I didn't feel like dealing with this shit today."

Kyuubi snapped around at the artificial demon, "My dad came into the room and saw us sleeping together! All over each other! What the hell is he going to do when he gets out here?"

Naruto stood and began to stretch, "I don't know. It's not my fault, I wanted to hit the floor for the night but you had to get your way. Besides, we weren't all over anything, you were all over me. I must be damn comfortable judging from that look on your face last night."

Kyuubi gaped at the comment from Naruto, "I… You… But…"

Naruto chuckled, "I couldn't bear to wake you up Kyuubi-chan, you looked so cute asleep like that. And I was pretty content myself."

"Content were you?"

Naruto hopped to his feet and turned around to face Isshin walking outside with a stiff look on his face, "Sir! What are we doing today?"

Isshin got into Naruto's face, his features unchanging, "I was going to beat the crap out of you for what you just pulled last night." Naruto shot a glare at Kyuubi who found the trees across the yard very intriguing at the moment.

Isshin snapped his fingers to get Naruto's attention back, "I could do that, I should do that, but I won't do that, at least not until you're proficient enough to give me a good fight."

Naruto smirked, "I can give you a good fight now. Your daughter tried to kick my ass with her demonic powers yesterday but I still got her to surrender, and she had been using it for three years."

Isshin chuckled as Kyuubi paled, "She told you she had been using her youki for years?"

Naruto nodded, "She said she had been using it since she was eleven so it's been three years." Isshin broke down into full-blown laughter as Kyuubi shrank to the ground and Naruto looked on in confusion, "What's so funny Isshin? I don't get why it's so funny."

The red-haired man wiped his eyes and stood back straight, "Kyuubi hasn't been using youki for three years, she hasn't even been doing it for six months yet."

Naruto looked shell-shocked, "Say what now?"

Isshin pulled his daughter by his side as she giggled sheepishly, "Dad is kind of right Naruto, I activated my youki right before we moved here. Funny huh? Haha."

Naruto grabbed his forehead, "So all of that crap about you being so much more advanced than me and how you were light-years ahead of me was just a crock?"

Isshin grinned and nodded, "A massive crock my boy. She's barely ahead of you."

Kyuubi growled, "No I'm still way ahead of him! I can activate my youki on command and I have Kitsune-bi down. He can't do either of those."

Isshin stroked his chin, "Yes that is true, but those things are mere trifles, they won't take long at all, especially with you helping him."

Kyuubi's jaw dropped, "I'm actually going to train him? I just brought him to you so that you could do it! I can't train anyone!"

Isshin patted the girl on her shoulder, "You'll just be getting him to your level sweetheart, after you teach him how to do Kitsune-bi I'll step back in and train you both."

Kyuubi slapped her forehead, "Do you have any idea how long that could take? Look at him!" Kyuubi gestured to Naruto who was picking his ear, "He's not very quick on the uptake you know."

Naruto noticed her words and snapped to attention, "Hey I resent that! I am very quick when I actually care about what I'm doing."

Kyuubi smirked and turned around, "Yeah sure Naruto-kun, I'll believe you after you can get to your ascended form."

Naruto stomped over to Isshin and Kyuubi, "I already did! That was the first thing I did!" Kyuubi gave him a smug look, "Me too. Only, I could keep using it immediately after I awakened it. You can barely call on your powers."

Isshin put his hand on Kyuubi's head to stop the banter, "Kyuubi was something of an anomaly among us, she already had fantastic control of her demonic side from the moment she transformed."

Naruto nodded, "So now I have to train my ass off to get to my next level of power while she can just flat out use it."

Isshin nodded, "Yes that's correct. Now let's get started Naruto."

XxX

(Two Weeks Later)

Naruto slouched deeply as he walked with Kyuubi to school from her house, "I hate your dad so much… Fucking slave-driver…"

Kyuubi latched onto Naruto's arm and laughed, "What? You miss going to school Naruto-kun? That doesn't sound like you."

Naruto moaned as he turned to look her in the face, "School, I would say, is a welcome rest from your dad's schedule. At least he has to tone it down as long as I'm in school."

As the school came in sight Kyuubi perked up for her artificial hanyo companion, "Well at least you've got a firm grasp on your beginning techniques. You've got the first tier of your demonic arts down."

Naruto smirked at this revelation. Throughout the two weeks of training with Kyuubi and Isshin, Naruto had quickly caught up to Kyuubi as far as the amount of demon techniques he knew, even though when it came to practical application in combat she was still far ahead of him, the amount of time it took him to gather his youki for any attack left him open for a quick opponent to take advantage of.

However the first tier of demonic arts included the Kitsune-bi, the fire technique was shown to Naruto after it was explained to him that his type of demon was fox like Kyuubi and Isshin. A second attack he learned was Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash), an attack that required Naruto to channel significant amounts of youki to his hands, more specifically his nails/claws and swing at his opponent for a mid-range projectile. Kyuubi and Isshin could perform the attack without warning, but Naruto had to noticeably force his nails to lengthen to claws before he could fire the attack at all.

His final two attacks were not actually attacks, they were supplementary techniques. The first of the two was Chuuou no Hizumi (Center of Distortion), a technique that steadily leaks out youki from one's body to provide an area directly around one's body that will throw off an enemy's balance, vision, and sense of timing and coordination. The second technique was Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail), an attack that had the potential to disorient, unbalance, and in some cases, destroy an enemy's equilibrium temporarily with a shout fueled by demonic energy.

Naruto rubbed his hands together, "Yes… When I kick one of my mercenary friend's asses they'll let me join Hein Company for sure. These techniques just keep on adding to my awesome."

Kyuubi rolled her eyes and hit him in the shoulder, "You idiot… Just be cool today and go home to rest up, you've trained enough for now, it wouldn't do to let you burn out."

Naruto and Kyuubi walked up to Sasuke just as they saw him upon entering the building. Naruto gave Sasuke an appraising look and raised an eyebrow, "Sasuke, you look uncharacteristically chipper today. What the hell happened?"

Sasuke looked at his blonde friend and smirked, "Where have you been? You've been gone forever, both of you. I wanted to tell someone so badly."

Kyuubi looked confused, "What has you so fired up Sasuke? Calm down, one loud idiot is enough for me."

Naruto nodded in agreement, "Yeah we don't need ano-. Wait… Who's the other idiot?"

Sasuke stared blankly for a moment before snapping back into excitement, "Okay whatever, now listen up. All my training has been paying off. Two weeks ago me and aniki got ambushed by these guys and I kicked the shit out of them. There's no time to tell you right now but it was so easy!"

Naruto smiled, "I told you after all of the ass-whuppings I handed out you couldn't lose to some random bums." Naruto lightly elbowed Kyuubi in her arm, "You guys should listen to me more."

Sasuke scowled at that remark, "You can't beat me Naruto! Stop lying to get in Kyuubi's pants!" Kyuubi went pale and began gaping.

Naruto got into his face, "Stop living in denial _officer_. I beat the shit out of you all the time, and now it'll only get worse. And I don't need to lie about anything to get into-."

Kyuubi clubbed Naruto across the head to shut him up sending him crashing to the ground as she dragged him by his collar through the hallway, "Okay as nice as it is to see you Sasuke, me and Naruto have to get to class, we'll see you later!"

Sasuke shot a short wave to the retrating pair before heading off to his own class, "I need some more friends." He sighed.

XxX

Naruto headed back to his own side of town with his hands in his pockets. He grunted as he kicked a random can down the sidewalk, "Kyuubi-chan shooed me away so fast, and the old lawman Sasuke got yanked out of the parking lot by his handlers so quick it wasn't funny."

The can bounced out of his direct reach irritating him as he walked on with a perturbed look on his face. Naruto's face brightened as he ran into an alley and up a wall to reach the rooftops, "I'm so bored, I wonder if Haku-chan will want to fight me again." He chuckled to himself as he began leaping along the rooftops, "I'm gonna blow her away this time no doubt!"

Naruto landed on the roof of the familiar, yet plain building of Hein Company. Naruto walked to the rooftop door and began banging on it with loud punches and kicks as he shouted for someone to open the door.

Haku opened the door with a concentrated look on her face, "I was standing by the real door Naruto-kun… It would have been easier for both of us."

Naruto walked past her with a shit-eating grin on his face, "Yeah, but if you guys let me join then I could get in on my own. You could at least give me a damned key. Kami knows I spend enough time around here as it is." Naruto looked around sheepishly, "You could just go ahead and make me a mercenary…"

Haku gave him a bright smile, "Sorry Naruto-kun, the boss doesn't make any exceptions to the rules, you have to wait for a unanimous approval to get in."

Naruto pulled at his hair, "What the hell do I have to do to get in, beat one of your asses?"

Haku put a finger to her lips as she thought, "That might actually work."

Naruto looked at her owlishly, "Really?"

Haku nodded, "Yes I'm certain, that's how I got in."

Naruto slapped his hand to his forehead hard, "Why the hell didn't someone tell me this three years ago? If that was all I had to do to get in then this will be a piece of cake."

Haku gave him a disbelieving look as they arrived in the rec room and took a seat on the chairs, "Really Naruto-kun? You think you could take one of us in a fight and win?"

Naruto rubbed his nose, "Well I've been holding you off in fights for years, and we haven't exactly fought one another in quite a while. I think I could handle you Haku-neechan."

Haku gave her sweet smile, "We haven't fought in months because the last time you had an unfortunate accident with some of my senbon remember?" Haku giggled as Naruto grabbed his ass in a phantom reflex.

Naruto growled at the pleasant girl's reaction to his discomfort, "Yeah, the accident that resulted in tiny metal projectiles getting shoved deeply within the crux of my ass. You swept me neechan! You knew that was going to happen, you fucking knew!"

Haku shrugged with a smile on her face, "At least you got free pain pills in the hospital. That must have been nice."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched, "Yeah… After they took tweezers to my asshairs for like thirty minutes before they finally extracted the needles… slowly… and painfully." Naruto closed his eyes to block the memory, "I'm so gonna kick your ass for that soon."

Haku shrugged, "Well if you want to set up a try-out fight with us then I'll get on that soon, maybe Zabuza-tousan or Kakashi-san could help me with that. We could always use more workers you know. Anyone in particular you want to fight… other than me?"

Naruto smirked, "Surprise me Haku-neechan…"

**I am so sick of campus… I got tired of the neverending parties. It would be great… If my d-bag suitemate wouldn't keep trying to get me to go to one, EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT! So fucking routine, same shit every time; go, see people you don't know and won't remember, get loaded or watch your dumbass friends get loaded, mack with a chick if you feel loose, etc. Pretty straightforward and generic stuff, nothing remarkable… ever. You'd think he'd get tired of it, God knows I am, I gots grades to handle muthafucka, one month till finals, shape the fuck up I'm failing two classes (maybe, I'm being pessimistic)! **

**Tons of make-up work to do because of a month of hellish sickness in February and other assorted hellfire works to deal with in addition to me ducking douchebags all day that want to fight me in the damn open one more time before the semester ends because my drunk/high ass beat their Jersey Shore wannabe asses at some party last semester. If I beat your ass under the influence of the magic ganja why the fuck would you wanna fight when I'm sober? I don't feel like paying bail to Radford University police so I just shake it off.**

… **Sorry about the rant… I needed it so bad. Beating the shit out of sparring partners isn't enough of a vent anymore… and it's pretty mean too. I think I need another real fight before I take myself to prison, I'm tense as hell… But you don't care so I'll shut the hell up now, sorry.**

**Do what you do… I'm gonna go be pissed off somewhere… Later.**

**Kenchi out.**


	7. Like An Angry Woman

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I have an idea that requires me to amass funds from people all around the world and force Naruto to be a publicly traded company, this would take years if it were actually a real plan. Until that point in time I don't own a single solitary sliver of it and I never will, cheers.

**Chapter 7: Like An Angry Woman**

Naruto looked around the lunch room and sighed as he watched the people pass by. He laid his head down on the lunch table as he sat surrounded by Kyuubi and Sasuke, "I hate this place so much. Why do I come here again?"

Sasuke smirked, "Because you got sick of getting busted for truancy by the police and just ended up quitting and showing up to class?"

Naruto shot a half-hearted glare at Sasuke, "Hey, not the police, it was one man. Your damn brother apparently has awesome, wilderness, Crocodile Dundee tracking skills when it comes to me and places I hide during the day. It's absurd."

Kyuubi patted him on the back, "Well at least dad said you don't have to show up for training today, that's something right?"

Naruto sat up, "No I like training, it's sort of relaxing in a paradoxical kind of way. And besides I'm gonna knock Isshin the fuck out before I graduate I swear it."

Kyuubi snapped to attention suddenly, "Oh yeah, you're coming to my house tonight for dinner."

Naruto rotated his head to her in a suspicious fashion, "And why the hell would I even think of doing that? A dinner with you and your dad, who by the way still thinks I'm actively trying to get in your pants and sleep with you, not really my idea of a peaceful evening."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, "You're _not_ trying to sleep with her?"

Naruto smirked, "I said _actively_ trying to sleep with her, this is the passive approach. Let her come to me."

Kyuubi rolled her eyes, "I'll ignore that and just say, no way in hell you blonde idiot. Anyway, show up around seven tonight alright, this isn't just me and my dad, my mom wants to meet you and she's finally off."

Naruto looked serious, "Does she know I slept with you in your bed for a good week?"

Kyuubi nodded, "Yes and she's okay with it, at least she won't try to castrate you like dad did when you learned Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)."

Naruto shivered involuntarily, "That bastard, he knows man law says to avoid harming your fellow man's dude parts."

Sasuke chuckled, "Meeting the parents already huh Naruto?"

Kyuubi took a swing at Sasuke that he leaned back to dodge, "If he trains with my family he might as well meet all of them! If he hangs around us enough then eventually dad or me will maim him and mom will have to fix him anyway."

Naruto slid away slightly, "You're going to maim me if we keep training?"

Kyuubi shrugged, "Only if one of us messes up. Don't be such a baby."

XxX

Elsewhere in the cafeteria Sakura and Ino had called together a small meeting of their own friends. Sakura just sat looking over at the table populated by Sasuke, Naruto, and Kyuubi, "Why does he hang out with them and not me. Even miss piggy over here would be better than them." Sakura ignored the glare from Ino as she kept looking over.

Shikamaru groaned, "Why do two care why Sasuke hangs out with them. Naruto is an interesting guy if you can stand to listen to him for a while and the girl seems to be his friend. Sasuke doesn't seem to find them too troublesome so why do you?"

Ino looked at Shikamaru in a disbelieving fashion, "Because she came right in and did what most of us have been trying for years, she's gotten close enough to Sasuke-kun to carry on conversations with him, apparently she doesn't even want to go out with him. It doesn't make any sense and it's driving me up the wall."

Choji looked up from his tray and attempted to add his own two cents, "Well maybe that's it. Maybe Sasuke is sick of every girl in school trying to get with him and Kyuubi is a refreshing change to him."

Shikamaru nodded, "Choji's right, she seems to want to hang out with Naruto above all else and since Naruto and Sasuke are apparently friends it's only natural she came along for the ride."

Kiba growled to himself, "How that loser Naruto got a girl like that to hang out with him I'll never know. He's still just a nobody around here and it's like he doesn't even care."

Shikamaru smirked, "I think that's better for you Kiba. Remember when you actually went up to him just to start trouble?"

(Flashback- 7 months ago)

_Naruto sat in his study hall class in middle school head down on his desk, "Ah, you've got to love study hall, just a class that inspires you to take a nap." _

_Shikamaru, whose head was also down chuckled at Naruto's statement, "That is the smartest thing I've heard all day." _

_Kiba walked into class in a pretty bad mood. Things basically hadn't been going his way and he needed to vent on someone. Apparently a good as target as any for Kiba's pent up frustrations was the slumbering Naruto._

_Kiba walked over to Naruto and began speaking with a sneer, "Wake up you dobe, this is a class you know." _

_Naruto cracked an eye open and shut it upon seeing Kiba, "Dude it's study hall. What are you gonna take notes on, the amount of gum you can find under the desks?"_

_Kiba growled, "That's not the point! Why are you even here? You're dumb as hell, don't your parents care about your shitty grades?" _

_Naruto didn't budge, "I don't have parents genius. You've been in school with me for how long and you don't know this?"_

_Kiba shook in frustration, "Why are you even here then? Just go and skip, do us all a favor and get the hell out of our sight." _

_Naruto took a breath, "I would if I could you son-of-a-bitch. Apparently my truancy officer has bloodhound genes or has a tracker under my skin to find me when I ditch. Does that answer your string of dumbass questions?"_

"_Don't talk to me like that, who do you think you are?" Kiba lifted his hand to slap Naruto in the head before Naruto shot out a fist that planted itself in Kiba's stomach. Kiba doubled over as Naruto sat up and grabbed him by his hair to slam him head-first into the desk repeatedly until the teacher finally got up from his desk to free Kiba from his grasp._

_Naruto put his head back down and closed his eyes as Kiba fell to the floor, "Troublesome bastard…" _

_Shikamaru cracked an eye open, "Hey… That's my line."_

(Flashback End)

Kiba pounded his fist on the table, "I got caught off guard, I was just in the 8th grade. It wouldn't happen again I know it."

Shikamaru put his palm to his forehead, "Enough, I'm done with it, who cares?"

Kiba apparently didn't hear him, "I can beat that idiot I know I can!" Kiba stood up abruptly and marched over to Naruto's table.

Shikamaru shook his head, "That troublesome idiot… Maybe I should start hanging out with Naruto, it would certainly be worth a shot."

Choji looked over curiously, "Is he really going to pick a fight with Naruto? Nobody fights Naruto anymore doesn't he know?"

Shikamaru just leaned back in his chair, "Well I guess everybody is going to be reminded why in a few minutes."

XxX

"And apparently the girl swept him right after she stuck needles into his ass! Can you believe that? No lie, it came straight from Naruto himself!"

Sasuke was a rare sight at the moment. Not in years, or ever for that matter could you have ever found him doubled over in tears on the table in laughter, well that's where we are now, "You… you… you got needles shoved into your ass and then you fell on it hahaha. Please tell me you went to the hospital dobe."

Naruto grumbled, "Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks it's so hilarious, even Shizune-neechan thought so, she called Rin-neechan in to get her eight chuckles too while I was down and out. You guys suck."

Kyuubi grinned at the boy, "You shouldn't let such sensitive information like that slip Naruto. That's not a good habit." Kyuubi looked over to see a brown-haired boy with markings on his face coming up swiftly, "Uh do you two know this guy or what?"

Naruto stopped sulking, "Ugh, dammit it's Kiba."

Kyuubi looked confused, "Who is Kiba?"

Sasuke recovered back to his usual stoic self, "Kiba is one of the people that just don't like Naruto at all, mainly because according to eyewitnesses Naruto beat his ass in a semi-conscious state."

Naruto scratched his head, "Seriously, I don't even remember what I did and I even tried to apologize, but he's just being a douche about it."

Kiba arrived and slammed his hands on the table, "Get up dobe, it's time we finish this once and for all."

All three looked at each other vacantly before Naruto spoke up, "Finished what again? I'm confused."

Kiba growled, "It's time we ended this little feud of ours, one more fight, come on let's go!"

Naruto kept his confused look, "Feud? Apparently every time we 'fought' I wasn't conscious so what's my record again for those with possession of those stats?"

Sasuke spoke up, "Naruto you are 12-0-1 with Kiba."

Naruto looked at Sasuke in disbelief, "He fought me to a draw before? When was this?"

Sasuke put his hands up in brooding position 1, "Well the first time you beat him up in your sleep in middle school the teacher came over before Kiba hit the ground out cold, that counts as outside interference therefore it was legally a draw."

Naruto looked at Kiba, "Doesn't the three in a row clean sweep rule mean anything to you? You can't even call this a rubber match, hell I don't even know _what_ to call it at this point."

Kiba bared his sharp canines, "You can call it me kicking your ass, now get up!"

Naruto shrugged and picked himself up with a groan, "Alright get the witnesses."

Sasuke nodded and went around getting people to sign a paper as Kyuubi looked on in confusion, "Witnesses? Shouldn't you wait until after school for something this stupid?"

Kiba's hot chick senses went off and he leaned on the table in a flirting manner to explain to Kyuubi, "People fight so much around here that the school system put in a rule that said that as long as a ton of witnesses could claim the fight was mutually consensual then when it was broken up everybody got off scot free."

Kyuubi looked to Naruto for confirmation as he nodded, "Yeah, the rules for this kind of thing are that the fight goes until someone quits, is knocked out, or the teachers can somehow pull you apart. That is rarer than you think because we don't have security here and these things draw a big ass crowd, and the teachers risk getting clipped, so a lot of the time they hang back… usually during my fights too."

Kyuubi looked disbelieving, "This sounds like complete bull, but you two seem dead serious."

Sasuke came back with a full sheet as the people began to amass, "Alright you have I would say 5 to 7 minutes to do this before it gets out of hand so are you both sure you want this?"

Kiba bared his teeth, "Oh yeah… It's time I show this wannabe alpha who's for real around here. You're done dobe."

Naruto picked his ear, "Well if the aggressive asshole wants it, then who am I to stop him from getting his ass kicked?"

Naruto pounded his hand, "Oh! This is the first time I've ever actually even paid attention to you when you fight! Let's see what you've got." Naruto flicked the wax off of his finger into Kiba's face.

Kiba roared and crouched low, "Time to show you once and for all, Beast Mimicry Jutsu."

Naruto lifted his eyebrow and slid into his own stance, "Okay, that's interesting."

Kiba grinned at Naruto, "Get ready."

Kiba stayed low as he rushed at Naruto, Naruto noted that Kiba's nails had turned into claws, 'just like Fungeki Kiritsukeru, I can't let him get these swipes off.'

Kiba lunged to take a swing with his right, but as he was still low Naruto shot out a push kick that hit Kiba in his hand to send it away. Naruto pulled his foot back and planted the sole of his shoe into Kiba's face.

Kiba tumbled back before regaining his footing to look at Naruto who had a large grin on his face, "What's so funny you bastard?" Naruto chuckled, "I stepped in shit earlier."

Laughter went out around the crowd as Kiba stood straight up to shoot a killer glare at Naruto, "Who do you think you are? Treating me like a joke!"

Naruto shook his head, "I'm not treating you like a joke, I'm treating you like a douchebag. If you leave me alone we're cool, but you like to start shit so I guess we're gonna have a problem until I solve it."

Kiba growled, "Take this you bastard, Tsuuga (Tunneling Fang)!"

Naruto's eyes widened, 'He knows actual jutsu!' Kiba launched himself at Naruto rotating to form a drill. Naruto leapt out of his path as the crowd scattered, leaving a poor lunch table to be splintered by the attack.

Naruto landed as Kiba stopped his attack, "Um… I'm not paying for that I hope you know that."

Kiba smirked, "If Akamaru was here you wouldn't have dodged that."

Naruto looked at Kiba warily, "Dude you taught your dog how to fight? That's kind of cool actually."

Kiba rushed back in, "Tsuuga!"

Naruto was conflicted, 'Okay so he's using jutsu, but should I? Sasuke and Kyuubi-chan know I can, but no one else does.' Naruto dodged again as he kept thinking, 'If people know I can use jutsu then it'll be way harder to keep my cover after I become a merc. What do I do?'

Naruto stumbled and slipped in the wreckage of the table and fell as Kiba rushed in to take advantage, "Dodge this asshole, Tsuuga!" Naruto cursed as he tried to stand and turn, but was caught in the back with the jutsu that sent him flying across the room, crashing into tons of chairs and tables.

Kiba smirked as he turned back to the crowd, "Ha, he isn't getting back up." He walked over to Kyuubi who was at the back of the crowd still seated and filing her nails. Kiba moved over next to her with a smug look, "Hey there beautiful, did you see me beat the orphan kid's ass back there?"

Kyuubi looked at the wreckage, "I see something, not an orphan kid though."

Kiba looked back over to see a log sitting in the debris, "What? A log? Where the hell is Naruto?" The sound of change going into a vending machine followed by the thunk of a can sounded out.

"That was close wasn't it? Made me thirsty just thinking about that move hitting me."

Naruto came strolling through the crowd with a can of soda in hand. Naruto popped the tab and took a long sip, "Ahh, that's good stuff."

Kiba was beside himself, "What is going on? I hit you dead on! I know I made contact I felt it!"

Naruto walked over to Kyuubi and handed her the can, afterwards he smirked at Kiba, "Gotta love Kawarimi (Substitution Jutsu)."

Kiba pointed at the pile in rage, "Where the hell did you get the log from! We're inside!"

Naruto walked back to his starting position in the fight, "Shush… The log is a tool of combat and evasion like any other. Logs have been the deciding point of battles between skilled enemies for years. Don't treat the log as just another log; a piece of lumber. Treat it with care and respect, be gentle with the log, don't be rough. Take care of your log and I can assure you the log will take care of you."

Kiba looked at Naruto as if he had grown a second head, "Are you insane?"

Naruto grinned foxily, "Insanity is relevant to personal normality."

Kiba looked stumped, "What?"

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe." Naruto ran in and swept Kiba's feet with a capoiera sweep before grabbing him by his head and torso and throwing him out of the cafeteria doors. Kiba struggled to stand on the other side before he collapsed in a heap.

The crowd dispersed as Naruto walked over to Kiba who was down on the ground, "You alright Kiba?"

Kiba looked up at Naruto, "Did I just get my ass kicked?"

Naruto grinned, "Yep, but it could have been worse, seriously."

Kiba set his head back on the ground and looked at the ceiling of the hallway, "Alright, I'm done. Enough with our bullshit rivalry, it's useless."

Naruto crouched and patted him on the leg, "Good man, I hope we can hang out after this and spar. You actually fight pretty well."

Kiba rolled over to try and stand, which he did, shakily, "Alright, time to find the nurse. I'm getting out for the day so that's a plus I guess."

Naruto walked back into the cafeteria, "Glad I could help."

Naruto walked through the cafeteria ignoring the looks he was getting and sat back with Sasuke and Kyuubi. After a short silence Kyuubi and Sasuke looked at each other and nodded before Sasuke spoke up, "So where did you get the log?"

Naruto smirked and shut his eyes, "Where didn't I get the log?"

Naruto opened his eyes as Shikamaru walked over with Choji, Ino, and Sakura in tow, "Hey Naruto, just wanted to say sorry about that. Kiba just stood and stomped over before anyone could say anything."

Naruto waved it off with a smile, "No harm done… at least not to me anyway. It was actually pretty fun, I like a decent fight."

Ino stepped forward with a wistful look, "Was that a jutsu you used Naruto? I didn't know you could use any jutsu. What else can you do?"

Naruto slammed his head on the table, "Goddamn it…" He muttered into the wood. Naruto sat up with a red mark on his head, "No reason to lie, the cat's out of the bag, yes. Yes I can use jutsu I've been doing it for years."

Choji looked at the blonde, "Me, Shikamaru, and Ino can too. You gonna be a merc or something?"

Naruto again slammed his head on the table but shouted this time, "Goddamn it Kiba!"

Naruto sat up with a perturbed look on his face, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response. You can all speculate." Ino grinned and nodded before skipping off. Naruto dead-panned a look at the remaining three, "She's telling everybody I'm a mercenary isn't she."

Shikamaru nodded, "Sorry Naruto, but after she saw you beat up Kiba she already had it in her head that you were one regardless."

Naruto put his face against his fist, "Well there goes my cover in the future…"

Sasuke grunted, "Cover is overrated anyway. The police already have files on most mercs anyway including the ones you know Naruto. Only low-level mercs of little worth aren't really known."

Naruto sighed, "Thanks Deputy."

Sasuke lowered his voice, "Fuck you Naruto."

The bell rang signifying the end of lunch as most of the kids stood to leave Sasuke was still seated with Sakura standing next to his chair. Sakura shot him a beaming smile, "So Sasuke-kun do you want to go see a movie after school?"

Sasuke stood and walked away, "Hm"

XxX

Naruto arrived back at his apartment and threw his backpack on the floor before flopping face-first on the couch. Naruto took out his phone to find a text from Haku.

**Test is in 3 days. Cant tell u opponents. Love u Naruto-kun.**

**Haku**

Naruto put his phone on the arm of the couch. Looking at the clock it read 4:56 p.m. Naruto sat up and walked to the bathroom, "Well I guess I better get ready for the hell dinner with Kyuubi-chan's parents tonight."

XxX

Naruto walked up to the gate of Kyuubi's house around 6:45 that evening. Instead of buzzing at the gate to let her entire family know he simply called her cell phone, "Yeah I'm outside Kyuubi-chan"

"Okay one minute Naruto I'll come and get you."

Naruto stood at the gate until he saw a red-haired girl run up to the gate and open it to let him in, "Good time to show up Naruto. Not too beat up from earlier I hope?"

Naruto smirked as he walked inside and shut the gate behind him, "It was a Kawarimi. I'm not hurt. I love that move so much."

Kyuubi led the way into her house as a woman with short red hair, a blue sweater and a black skirt met them once they entered the house. Kyuubi started the introductions, "Mom this is Naruto Uzumaki, my friend from school that's been training with us here."

Naruto walked forward and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Um hi missus Kyuubi's mom. How are you?" Kyuubi smiled at the boy and waved it off, "Oh call me Setsuna dear." She shot a sly look at her daughter, "Of course you could call me mom if you wanted to. I mean you'll be in the family soon enough anyway."

Naruto went wide-eyed as Kyuubi snapped into defense, "Mom be quiet! Naruto is just my friend! He's not my boyfriend."

Setsuna looked at Kyuubi smugly, "Yeah because you let someone you're just friends with sleep in your bed with you."

Kyuubi covered her face with her hands, "It was that or the floor mom, Kami!"

Kyuubi vanished from the foyer into the living room as Naruto stood with Kyuubi's mother in silence until she began to laugh, "I'm sorry Naruto-kun, but her reaction is so hilarious to me. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Come sit down dear."

Naruto followed Setsuna to the living room and sat down on the couch next to Kyuubi, as Setsuna moved to the kitchen, "I'll have dinner ready in a moment, you two just sit for a moment, I'll get you when it's ready."

Kyuubi and Naruto sat in silence just watching the TV until Naruto spoke, "So… mom huh?"

Kyuubi snapped at Naruto, "Shut up Naruto, she's been on about you since I told her and if dad wasn't here to eat tonight she would just keep picking with us."

Naruto chuckled, "Picking with you, don't you mean? I can take it, personally I like it, makes me feel like I have a shot with you."

Kyuubi looked at him from the corner of her eye, "You don't have a chance Naruto."

Naruto crossed his arms, "So you say, and yet I've been over your house, been on a glorified date with you already, slept in your bed, and met your parents; I can't believe you can still say that with a straight face, if it isn't me then who else has a shot?"

Kyuubi blushed, "You won't make me say it Naruto…"

Naruto turned to look into her eyes, "Really? Because I don't think you or I need to say anything." Kyuubi's breathing became hitched as Naruto moved forward and she leaned back on the arm of the couch. Naruto moved ever closer, "You and I both know that no matter what happens we have a bond, one that I can't even explain to you or myself but I do know this."

Kyuubi answered him in a shaky voice, "What? What do you know?"

Naruto grinned as he leaned down just inches from her face, "That I know, and I'm sure as hell that you know, that you feel something. And I'm not going to push it because I still fear death by castration from your dad, so I'll leave it up to you."

Naruto stood up as Kyuubi tried to catch her breath, "I'm gonna go help your mom out as much as I can, because I don't feel like bumming a free meal off of you guys for nothing." Naruto winked at the girl before disappearing around the corner.

Kyuubi settled down and held her chest before she smiled, "You have more of a shot than you think Naruto-kun. Just be patient with me, I promise it won't be too long for us." She looked out the window with a wistful gaze, "Some things need to happen beforehand."

**I have no random rant this time, just get to the reviewing and drop me some thoughts. Any ideas or concerns are welcome. I'm like flying by the seat of my pants, momentary inspiration brings about these chapters because I'm awesome like that.**

**Later, Kenchi out.**


	8. Smooth Like Sandpaper

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. And if I do not own it by next Thursday then I will do 50 laps around campus, and if I can't do that then I will do 250 pushups straight, and if I cannot do that then I will go to the gym and beat up every heavyweight fighter there, and if I cannot do that then I will do 500 hindu squats, and if I cannot do that… (continues on for the next ten minutes… enjoy the chapter.)

**Chapter 8: Smooth Like Sandpaper**

Sasuke's eyes kept flanking left and right, passing between Naruto and Kyuubi who had not spoken to one another all day even during the current lunch time. Sasuke was never one for getting involved in someone else's problems, but seeing as how the banter between the two usually kept him sane throughout the mind numbing school day he felt it was up to him to patch up whatever had happened between them.

Sasuke took a swig for m his bottle of water and sighed, "So, either of you gonna tell me exactly what the hell is the issue here? Because all of this silence is actually getting annoying. One of you bubbly idiots needs to talk soon or I'll lose it."

Kyuubi blew one of her bangs up and glared at Sasuke, refusing to answer. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and turned to Naruto, "Okay since I'm _not_ afraid of you dobe, what the hell is up between you and Kyuubi?"

Naruto's eyes slowly focused on Sasuke before he blinked, "Are you sure you care? I mean if I tell you why then I might be going into something slightly out of your field of comfort Emo Jr."

Sasuke ignored the jab, "I really don't care what happened, but you two are being way too broody for my tastes. The first day it was awesome, you both shut the hell up and I didn't have to hear you both borderline yelling your conversation across the table. It is now day 3 and it's getting creepy."

Naruto looked at Kyuubi who was refusing to make eye contact with him before returning his attention to Sasuke, "Well I assume since I've been getting the silent treatment from Kyuubi-chan for the last three days that even if I tell you what went down the worst thing she would do would be to talk to me, so why the hell not."

Sasuke motioned for him to begin speaking. Naruto scratched his nose, "Alright deputy, so it started out like this…"

_(Flashback- 3 days ago, Kyuubi's House, during dinner)_

_The dinner for the most part had gone smoothly. Kyuubi's mother Setsuna had made a simple stir-fry for Naruto's first time over. There was light conversation with Setsuna and Isshin learning a bit about Naruto. Eventually they also uncovered the fact that he was aiming to become a mercenary. When Naruto asked how they came to the conclusion they answered simply 'we should know,' this seemed to be enough of an explanation for the artificial half-demon as the conversation strayed away from Naruto's future aspirations._

_Setsuna and Isshin made eye contact as Setsuna got a devious smirk while the only sign of Isshin thinking anything was the slight shimmering reflection in his eyes. Kyuubi had a slight smile on her face as she watched Naruto gulp down his drink, 'This didn't really go as badly as I assumed it would after all. He handled it pretty good from start to now.'_

_Isshin cleared his throat getting the attention of Naruto, "Alright Naruto, I just have one real question for you. You've been spending quite a bit of time with our daughter and I think it's only fair you answer a question for us." _

_Kyuubi's eyes widened, 'Oh no… Please tell me they aren't going to start with this. Please Naruto, don't be so dumb as to actually fall into this.'_

_Naruto, not ever having been conditioned to expect such questions from parents even though he _had_ cable TV in his apartment stumbled into the trap like a bear, "Alright I guess you're right, you guys still don't know anything about me and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon so shoot."_

_Setsuna grinned after Naruto's response as she placed her face into her hands with her elbows set on the table, "You hear that Isshin? He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. That's good to know Naruto-kun, I wouldn't want my daughter getting hurt by some un-loyal man."_

_Kyuubi groaned, however this still went over Naruto's head, "I can understand that. I mean if my daughter was friends with some shifty guy then I'd be wary too. I know I'm not exactly a noble or anything, I'm as low class as you can get without getting busted for vagrancy if you know what I'm saying."_

_Isshin spoke next, "You seem like a decent enough boy Naruto for as long as I've known you, but what do you think of Kyuubi?" _

_Kyuubi blushed as she looked over at Naruto's unchanged smiling face, "Kyuubi's great! She's way different from most girls I've met, mostly because she chooses to be seen with me in public, but she's really awesome." _

_Naruto continued completely oblivious to the situation at hand, "She's nice to me… most of the time. She's loyal, my oldest friend likes her, she's strong, and she's pretty too." _

_Kyuubi blushed and smiled, 'He _does_ think I'm pretty.'_

_Naruto laughed and grinned, "Yeah any guy she ends up with would be pretty lucky." That line snapped Kyuubi back to the moment as she pulled Naruto up and into the living room._

_As she stood in front of him tapping her foot Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What was that?" _

_Kyuubi glared at him, "Don't you know what they were doing in there you idiot?"_

_Naruto picked at his teeth, "They're busting my chops right? Trying to grill me?" _

_Kyuubi blinked with stunned expression, "Uh yeah… How did you know that though?" _

_Naruto deadpanned a look at her, "I'm not stupid Kyuubi-chan. Even if I don't have parents I do have cable TV. I'm not really that oblivious you know?" Kyuubi stood speechless as Naruto took her by the shoulders and guided her back into the dining room._

_(Flashback End)_

Sasuke looked unconvinced, "That's it? That's why she's pissed off? Because you were playing along with the situation?" Sasuke looked over at Kyuubi who just huffed.

Naruto sighed, "You must be a real killjoy at the movies Sasuke… The story isn't over yet! Listen up lawdog!" Naruto calmed himself, "Alright so it kept going like I thought it would; they kept asking me the usual generic 'you and my daughter' questions that I clocked from a mile away. But my rehearsed answers must have pissed Setsuna off or something because then she threw a curve at me."

_(Flashback- Back at the dinner table)_

_Setsuna, being a parent, had been waiting for her daughter to bring a boy home so she could get him all flustered and bothered and embarrass her daughter to no end, it was like a tradition, it happened to her, her mother, her mother's mother and so on and so forth. So when Naruto just kept sleepwalking through her questions she got a little desperate._

_Setsuna kept on her pleasant face and took note of the expression of normalcy on Naruto's face, but also the smug look on Kyuubi's face, almost as if the girl was saying, 'is that all you've got mom?' _

_Not really a good idea as Setsuna smirked, 'Okay then, if this doesn't work I quit.' "So Naruto-kun, how many kids can I be expecting from you and my Kyuubi?" Naruto, who was drinking at the time, swallowed all of his gulp down the wrong pipe, effectively drowning on dry land._

_After a three minute coughing fit Naruto looked up at Setsuna with a look of confusion, "Setsuna-san… do you mind running that by me one more time? I think my brain just stroked out for a minute." _

_Setsuna smiled warmly at the boy, "Well I just wanted to know how many grandchildren to be expecting from you and my daughter. So how about it, 10? Is that too many? How about 5, that seems much more reasonable."_

_Naruto and Kyuubi looked over at one another with matching mortified expressions. Naruto's brain was searching for an eloquent exit from the uncomfortable setting, 'Seriously, I swear I watched like every damn dating scene on every set of DVD's from Dawson's Creek to fucking One Tree Hill to get ready for this and I didn't expect this at all. Touché Setsuna, touché.'_

_Naruto looked over at Isshin who had a subtle twitching of his eyebrow, 'Damn he seems even more pissed than the time that I woke up in his daughter's bed.' Naruto looked back at Setsuna who was seemingly waiting for an answer._

_Now Naruto, having never been prepared by any adult for a situation like this figured that discretion was the better part of valor in this instance. Naruto yawned loudly and stretched, "Well, it looks like it's about time for me to be hitting that old dusty trail." _

_Setsuna stood up and walked over to the also standing Naruto, "Oh well, I'll see you out dear. And you can answer my question on the way."_

_Naruto looked over his shoulder mouthing a silent scream to Kyuubi who just sat blushing at the table as Setsuna dragged the boy along by his arm._

_(Flashback End)_

Sasuke stifled his chuckles, "So, *chuckle* what did you say?"

Naruto glared at Sasuke, "I don't really feel comfortable telling you that teme."

Kyuubi blushed and mumbled. Sasuke turned his attention to her, "What was that Kyuubi?"

Kyuubi turned and yelled, "4 ok! He said he wanted 4 kids with me!" As half of the cafeteria looked over at their table Sasuke busted out laughing and mumbling incoherent speech in between his loud raucous expressions.

Naruto stood with a blush on his own face, "And on that note…" Naruto walked out of the cafeteria and eventually the entire school, dead set on skipping school for the remainder of the day.

XxX

(Hein Company HQ)

After dropping his things off at home Naruto gathered himself and began to head out to the base of the majority of his mercenary friends. Once he reached the door and knocked he was greeted by the usual pleasant brown eyes of Haku, "Naruto-kun shouldn't you be in school right now?"

Naruto gave her a foxy grin, "Shouldn't you?"

Haku's eyes widened and then narrowed, "Touché Naruto-kun. Come on in."

As they walked to the sparring ring Haku looked at Naruto's confident expression, "So I see you're ready for today aren't you."

Naruto chuckled as they walked, "Oh yeah, I've been ready for a week. Who am I fighting Haku-chan?"

Haku smiled at him, "I can't say, it's a surprise… And it's not me so don't ask."

Naruto grumbled, "Spoilsport… This better be easy, you basically walked right in depending on who you fought." Naruto and Haku entered an elevator as she hit the button for the bottom floor.

Haku shrugged, "It was just a good matchup, it was totally random."

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, I bet my fight won't be freaking random, I know too many of you bastards in this company. I'm gonna get hazed like a motherfucker, extra hard because all of you know I've wanted this forever."

Haku nodded and gave him a thoughtful look as they stepped out of the elevator, "So is your cover going to be a student like me? It's actually a pretty decent cover."

Naruto groaned, "Apparently tons of kids at school either know mercenaries or they are ones themselves because they busted me out during my last fight, and I couldn't say no because I just know that they knew."

Haku shook her head in a chiding fashion, "That's not good Naruto-kun, you should have kept the ruse up for as long as you could. A good cover keeps you out of the public eye."

Naruto looked stunned, "Is it really that important? Zabuza doesn't have a cover, he doesn't have a civilian side."

Haku opened the door to the training/sparring facility, "That's because tousan and me are strong enough to deal with any of our political enemies. He doesn't need to worry about anyone killing him and he doesn't have to worry about anyone hurting me so he doesn't need a cover."

Naruto laughed as he took note of the people in the room surrounding the railing, "Well then I guess I really don't need one either, I'm tight with the kids of the chief of police and I know way too many strong mercs for anyone to fuck with me."

Haku gave him a hug and broke off to go over to Zabuza. Naruto walked over to the railing to look inside the battle ring; the ring was large enough to fit in two different kinds of terrain, a rocky barren area with random jagged uprisings of rock that cuts into a grassy area with a few trees and even a stream of water circulating from wall to wall. (Think an arena roughly the size of the chunin exam stadium.)

Naruto looked around and stood on the railing before turning and making a grand gesture to the mercs surrounding the arena. Naruto clapped his thighs twice and flipped off the entire room, "Fuck you guys! This was a long time coming! I should've had this tryout three years ago, and now I'm gonna kick this guy's ass!"

Naruto turned and jumped into the ring as the other mercenaries stood stunned. Zabuza looked over at Haku, "Did he really just do that?"

Haku nodded, and Zabuza burst out in laughter, "That's ballsy kid! I like that!"

Naruto stood in the center of the arena shaking his limbs out waiting for his opponent, 'Come on… lets go already.'

A wall at the opposite side of the arena lowered as two figures came rushing out and ran circles around the arena at rapid speed. Naruto gave himself a headache trying to hone in on what exactly was moving so fast until a voice broke out, "THAT'S IT MY PUPIL! LET THE POWER OF YOUTH EXPLODE!"

Naruto's eyes widened as he got a good look at the strange man before he growled and screamed to the heavens, "Goddamn you Kakashi! You son-of-a-bitch!"

Like magic Kakashi appeared at the railing holding his trusty orange book, "Huh? Did you say something Naruto?" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at him, "Don't you give me that bullshit Kakashi. I know damn well that either you, Obito, or Rin-neechan, hell it was probably some unholy combination of all three of you, set my ass up to fight…"

Naruto snapped his finger at Gai and his shimmering smile, "That guy!"

Naruto was seething as the second figure kept running around the outside of the arena, "You mean I've got to beat Maito fucking Gai to get into the company, that is fucked up you guys!"

Gai came up and patted Naruto on the shoulder, "Oh no Naruto-kun, this tryout isn't dependant on you defeating your opponent you just have to show your blazing fires of your youth!"

Naruto's eye twitched, "So I don't have to win, I just have to do a good enough job that shows everybody that I can fight well enough?" Gai shot Naruto a glimmering smile, "I was told you were a youthful recruit Naruto-kun, of course I expected nothing less from my rival Kakashi's praise. However I am not your opponent today."

Gai's eyes turned to the blur still rushing around the arena, "Lee! Come here so we may begin the examination!"

A voice came from the blur, "As you wish Gai-sensei! I will allow Naruto-kun to demonstrate his youthful skills to our youthful comrades!" The blur shot out from the wall and stopped at Gai's side.

Now at this point as Naruto gazed at the two he had to rub his eyes. The blonde boy first figured that he was high, that there was no way that there were TWO people that looked like this, with green full-body jumpsuits, bowl-cuts, and massive eyebrows.

Naruto again glared up at Kakashi, "Seriously? You really did? You let that guy…" Naruto pointed at a smiling Rock Lee, "Be a mercenary before me? That is some old bullshit Kakashi."

Naruto had met Rock Lee prior to this meeting. Earlier in the year Naruto, in an effort to find a future cover for his career as a mercenary and also to try and vent his many frustrations on some poor kid's face, visited a well-known martial arts gym in the area.

After about a half an hour of beating on random guys that stepped into the ring with him Naruto stepped out and saw the strange teenage boy take over. The kid was goofy looking as all get out but when it came time to throw down it scared Naruto how effective he was in combat. Since that day Naruto did not step foot back inside that gym until he was sure he could go toe to toe with that boy. At this moment Naruto had to say he was damn glad that Lee didn't wear that crap in public, at least over his regular clothes.

Naruto shrugged and turned back to the spandexed duo, "Hey Rock Lee. What's up, have you been doing good?"

Lee nodded, "Yes Naruto-kun and I am very excited about our coming battle, I have looked forward to fighting you ever since we have met, it is sure to be a splendid battle."

Naruto chuckled nervously, "Yeah… I'm going to splendidly get my ass kicked…"

Gai stepped back, "Very well, the rules are no killing or maiming allowed. The fight ends when your opponent surrenders, is incapacitated, or I choose to stop the fight. Now let your flames of youth inspire all of the viewers!"

Naruto shook himself out once more as Lee stood in his stance for Gouken. Naruto slid into his mixed styles stance and huffed before charging in. Lee dodged and planted a solid fist into Naruto's body that sent him backwards. Naruto coughed as he regained his stance, 'Damn he's hella strong. I can't take a lot of those and keep my lunch down.'

Naruto grunted and ran back in again trying the same thing only this time when Lee shot the counter to his body Naruto turned so that it slid harmlessly off of his body and shot an elbow at Lee's head. Lee lifted his arm and held off the strike before dropping and taking Naruto's legs out with a sweep.

Naruto crashed to the ground as Lee tried another sweeping kick to take Naruto's head off. Naruto rolled and jumped back to his feet, retreating back to get some range, "Okay, getting in close to fight you is suicide so try this, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu(Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

Naruto filled the area around himself and Lee with clones.

XxX

Obito blinked with his visible eye, "Wow… That's a shitload of bunshin…" Kakashi nodded, "I didn't really expect that when we gave him those scrolls. Sucks for Rin, she can't watch this."

Obito scoffed and pointed to a video camera he had set up. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "When did you set that up?"

Obito grinned and shifted the toothpick in his mouth, "Right when Gai shouted about youth before Naruto freaked out. I'm going to savor this asswhupping."

XxX

Naruto grinned at Lee who was still standing still in his stance, "Go get him boys."

The clones rushed Lee who simply smiled at the oncoming rush, "Konoha Senpuu (Leaf Whirlwind)!" Lee's spun and delivered a devastating rolling kick that took out a dozen of Naruto's Kage Bunshin.

Lee then jumped headlong into the fighting force of Naruto copies and began battering and dispelling them with furious taijutsu. Naruto stared blankly at the hand to hand carnage, "It's a bad day to be a replication I see."

Naruto scratched his head as the smoke cleared and Lee stood alone with a smile, "That was a very good warm-up Naruto-kun, let us truly begin our battle."

Naruto sweat-dropped, 'That was me being serious…' Naruto sighed and channeled youki to his hands, "Now's as good a time as any to use this trick." Naruto's nails noticeably grew as he ran in to attack again.

XxX

Zabuza raised a non-existent eyebrow and smirked behind his wrappings, "The punk is faster than he was when he was training with you Haku. And those claws are new, that's a nice little trick."

Haku looked on as Naruto took quick swipes at Lee who was dodging and returning fire, "He has been training himself for quite a while, and we haven't really sparred in some time either."

Zabuza chuckled, "Ever since the little senbon incident? Seriously Haku that was mean… Did the gaki piss you off or something?"

Haku kept her attention on the fight, "Let's just let that little story die otousan, it really wasn't such a big deal."

Zabuza shook his head while shaking with held back laughter.

XxX

Naruto wasn't nearly as refined in the close range as his opponent was, but his feral style of assault added on with newfound speed of activating his demonic powers for the fight kept him on a decent par with Rock Lee.

Lee was smiling, he had found someone his age that was fast enough to push him with his taijutsu. Despite all of his gung-ho hard-nosed training he hadn't really fought anyone that was willing to engage him up close after tasting a few punches and kicks, but here was Naruto who had taken a bit of a beating, who had just watched a phalanx of Kage Bunshin just get demolished in a matter of moments, this kid just experienced all of this and here he was, running right back into the melee.

Lee ducked another swipe of Naruto's claws and pushed him back with a kick, "Naruto-kun this is a fantastic fight! I would be proud to have your as a fellow comrade in arms."

Naruto grinned and bared his elongated canines, "That's good Lee, but this is going nowhere, time to step it up, Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

A red wave flew from Naruto's nails and collided with Lee who had put up his own arms in a defensive manner. The force of the attack made Lee slide back. Naruto smirked and shot off a barrage of slashes that Lee began to dodge. After the final slash Rock Lee charged back in with Naruto following suit.

A green blur cut in between them cutting the fight short, "That's all we need to see Naruto-kun good fighting. Lee-kun thank you for allowing us to view the two of you in battle."

Lee gave Gai a thumbs up and a smile. Gai looked over at Naruto with a serious look, "So… Gai… What do you guys think? Am I in?"

Naruto looked up and around at the people surrounding the arena. Obito stepped up and looked at the boy for a moment, "Well, he's kind of rough around the edges, but a little real experience will that right up, I say yeah."

Kakashi came up next, "He should have been in years ago, he's way better than our other rookies."

Zabuza and Haku walked to the railing, "That little bastard is vicious. I want to work with him he's in."

Slowly all of the mercenaries in attendance all called for Naruto's membership putting a big grin on his face. As he looked over to Lee he was given a nice guy pose as Gai made an announcement, "Well I think it's unanimous, Naruto-kun you are officially a member of Hein Company, congratulations."

Naruto's grin could have split his face before the blood rushed to his head and he blacked out.

Obito yelled in victory as he ran to his camera, "Yes! That little lightweight! I'm gonna watch this thing over and over just for that part, so good."

**I'm losing my buzz of awesome from my day of epic victory. Next chapter all for you, enjoy. I'm gonna go do some Kenchi stuff now, later.**

**Kenchi out.**


	9. Wake Up Call

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. A goal in my life is to be good enough fighter to somehow get sponsorship from Naruto. That would be fucking hilarious/awesome, imagine a professional fighter stepping out with the Naruto symbol emblazoned on the back of his trunks, so epic.

**Chapter 9: Wake Up Call**

Two weeks after his entry test with Rock Lee and Naruto had yet to get a mission. Although he was ecstatic that he didn't have to knock on the doors and be constantly escorted by Haku or another mercenary all throughout the facility as he now had free reign over the facility and all of its accoutrements he was bored, and a bored Naruto Uzumaki was a very dangerous Naruto Uzumaki.

"Naruto are you sure this is such a good idea man? It seems kind of…"

"Crazy, insane, absurd, retarded, please stop me if I hit one correctly."

Naruto stood blindfolded in front of Kiba standing back a good distance one day after school on Naruto's apartment complex's rooftop. Kiba had an apple on his head and Naruto had his claws drawn. Kyuubi was simply sitting off on the side with Kiba's white dog Akamaru in her lap watching from a ledge alongside Sasuke who was not escorted back to the police station that day, "Oh Kyuubi-chan will you chill out. I know exactly what I'm doing."

Kyuubi huffed and blew her bangs out of her face, "This is a horrible idea. What if you miss? What the hell are you going to tell the people at the emergency room? 'Sorry doctor, I was playing with my techniques and shredded my friend like cheese.'"

Kiba gulped as he began to shake, "Like cheese? What exactly does this attack do? I don't really want to be here right now."

Naruto scoffed as he set up his (blind) aim, "Kiba stop being a bitch I've got this under control. Now hold still before I shred you like cheese. And Kyuubi-chan… If you don't have anything productive to say then please direct all comments to the deputy over there, he's a good listener."

"Hmn." Sasuke simply kept looking at the ongoing spectacle on the roof, 'Maybe I should stop this… Nah, Naruto knows what he's doing. Psyche, this is gonna be hilarious, Kiba's gonna get shredded like cheese.'

Kiba looked up to the sky mouthing a silent prayer before looking over to the ledge, "I love you Akamaru, be a good boy when I'm gone okay?" Akamaru just yawned while Kyuubi stroked his back.

Naruto stuck his tongue out as he was positioning his hands for the swing, "Lower or higher?"

Kiba sweat-dropped, "Higher damn it higher!"

Naruto grinned, "Lower? Okay lower."

Kiba screamed in a high pitched voice, "No you bastard higher! Higher!"

Naruto drew his hand back, "Yeah, yeah I heard you Kiba, lower, Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" Naruto swung as blades of demonic energy shot from his hands and flew at a crying Kiba. The blades sliced cleanly through the apple, segmenting it as it fell off of Kiba's head.

The group sat in silence as Kiba dropped to the floor. Naruto pulled off his blindfold and began jumping around and whooping, "Hell yeah! I knew I could do it! Deputy hit my music!"

Sasuke pulled out Naruto's mp3 player as Weezer's "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" blasted across the rooftop. Kyuubi palmed her face and shook her head, 'My future boyfriend is a complete idiot.' "I can't believe I hang out with you, you sociopath!"

Naruto pulled Kiba to his feet, "I am not a sociopath. And Kiba's fine, right big dog?" Kiba stood with a glassy expression in his eyes. Naruto placed a second apple on the stunned Kiba's head and ran back even further while putting the blindfold back on, "Okay 15 feet is good, but 30 is even better! Kiba… Lower or higher?"

Kiba babbled inanely about red death and huddled in a corner while rocking gently. Kyuubi stood up while still petting Akamaru, "While I enjoy watching a teenage boy being reduced to huddling mass of man as much as anyone maybe we should be thinking about doing something that won't end with someone in a body-bag."

Sasuke stood up also, "I'm out, you guys are obviously lacking in the idea department and it looks like Kiba here isn't up for anymore William Tell. I'll drag him home, come on Akamaru, help me pull your master together."

Akamaru barked and jumped out of Kyuubi's arms as Sasuke held Kiba up and helped walk him downstairs. Kyuubi walked over to the still blindfolded Naruto and shoved a scroll in his hands. Naruto pulled up his blindfold and looked at it, "What the hell is this?"

Kyuubi shrugged, "Hell if I know. It was in your mailbox and I can't open it. I'm going home okay, see you tomorrow."

Naruto grinned as the girl headed for the stairwell, "Bye, bye Kyuubi-chan, I love you!"

Kyuubi smiled over her shoulder, "I love yo-. Damn you Naruto shut up."

Naruto snickered as the now scowling girl disappeared from sight. Naruto bit his thumb and opened the blood sealed scroll to read.

**Ready to pop your cherry rookie? Whenever you are head on down to HQ and ask for your mission.**

Naruto chuckled, "How blunt. Fine I'm bored as all hell so why not?"

Naruto jumped off of his rooftop and headed towards Hein Company's building.

XxX

Naruto showed up in the main office practically bouncing around at the prospect of his first real mission. The young brown-haired secretary couldn't hold back a smile as she watched the 14 year old boy in such an animated fashion, "Someone's excited I see."

Naruto gave her a face-splitting grin, "You know it. I'm so ready for this. Let's go, I want this job so bad!"

The woman opened the desk and fished around until she pulled out a scroll with Naruto's name, "Here you go, first mission for you sweetheart."

Naruto thanked her as he opened the scroll and read for a moment. As he continued to read his face dropped, "This is it?"

The secretary had on a sly grin, "Yep, first mission for a baby mercenary."

Naruto slapped himself in the face and looked back at the scroll, "It still says the same damn thing!" The secretary was holding back her laughter as Naruto raved about his mission, "And another thing, I got cooler missions than this when I _wasn't _a mercenary."

The secretary looked back down to hide her smirk, "Yeah, but it pays better."

Naruto blinked and looked at the scroll again, "Oh hell yeah, rent time, nevermind. Thanks!"

XxX

(The Res- Next Afternoon)

Naruto sat on a bench outside of a high school in the more upscale part of town. The snide looks he was getting from the rich people mixed with the time he had been waiting for his mission to start was working his nerves, "*scoff* Mission, this is more like glorified babysitting."

Naruto opened his scroll to read it over once more.

**Mission: Escort/Bodyguard**

**Rate of Pay: 5000 ryo (per day; 10 day contract)**

**Assigned Operative: Naruto Uzumaki, solo mission**

**Mission Specifics: To lead an heir of the Hyuuga Clan around during your dictated time of contract. The heir tires of Hyuuga guards, so to placate her we have hired a mercenary escort for the better part of over a week. Keep her safe, jeopardizing her health may result in a termination of the contract and the pulling of future business from Hein Company.**

**Contact Point: Northside High School**

Naruto sighed as he burned the scroll and watched it disintegrate into the air. He heard a bell ring as the school let out. As Naruto leaned back and looked up he was tapped on the shoulder. Naruto set back in his original position to see a girl his age with long dark blue hair and pale eyes looking at him. The girl fidgeted for a moment before speaking in a quiet voice, "Ano, are you a mercenary by any chance?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah I guess I am, there's no reason for a scraggly looking kid like me to be here otherwise right? Naruto Uzumaki is the name, nice to meet you."

The girl gave him a gentle smile, "I am Hinata Hyuuga, I believe you are meant to escort me for the week."

Naruto's eyebrows rose in surprise, 'This is the girl I was supposed to guard? Holy crap she's hot!' Naruto stood up in a boisterous manner, "Well then shall we be off! Where to my dear?"

Hinata giggled, "Well we have to go directly home today, so let's go."

Naruto turned and headed down the street but stopped when he realized Hinata wasn't with him. Naruto turned to find Hinata giving him a strange look, "What's the matter Hinata-san?"

Hinata pointed towards the parking lot, "I have my driver waiting in the parking lot for us, walking isn't necessary."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "You have a ride huh? Well then let's do that."

Naruto followed Hinata to a Mercedes-Benz W221 sitting in the parking lot. As the driver got out and opened the door for Hinata, Naruto whistled, "Damn, now this is pretty ritzy."

Naruto got in on the other side and the driver pulled off. As they sat in silence, with Naruto looking around the plush interior and Hinata just looking out the window Naruto decided to make some conversation with his client, "So… being rich. How's that working out for you?"

Hinata looked over at the blonde boy, "It has its moments."

She grinned as Naruto looked over at her with a smile, "I'll bet. Man I would love to have stuff like this."

Naruto remembered part of the scroll, "So the mission scroll said that you didn't like your Hyuuga guards, why not?"

Hinata looked back out the window, "Hyuuga guards aren't from the Hyuuga family. They are basically full time body guards that are trained by my family to defend us. And they aren't very pleasant to be around by the way."

Naruto nodded, "Right, so you don't really want an emotionless robot, I get it. Well you won't be sacrificing quality for emotions I can guarantee you that! I'm pretty good if I do say so myself."

Hinata smiled at Naruto, "Hopefully we won't have to test that."

Naruto kept fielding questions, "Have you ever been attacked before?"

Hinata nodded, "Once before when I was a little girl, but I don't remember it well." After a moment of silence, Hinata decided to shoot a question back, "Have you ever killed anyone before Mr. Mercenary?"

Naruto shook his head, "I have had a few close shaves where it was a me or them situation, so yes, I've killed people before."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully, looking at him somewhat apprehensively, "But if you want to be a real mercenary then you all have to eventually right? You get missions that require you to." Naruto nodded as Hinata continued, "And you're okay with that? Just killing people because you're paid to?"

Naruto shook his head, "Each mercenary has their own personal code of conduct. I won't lie and say that there isn't anyone that won't take the dirtier jobs and I've even seen a few of them smile, but we all have standards and my own personal point of view makes it so that I will not take a mission that seems too much like a shade of gray. I want to keep my humanity you understand?"

Naruto's attention was averted as he saw the gates to the Hyuuga compound open up, "Never thought I'd ever enter this place in my lifetime."

As the car parked and they filed out of the car Naruto took note of the classical Japanese style of the house, "That's pretty old school princess."

Hinata looked back at Naruto, "I'm not a princess Uzumaki-san."

Naruto gave her a cheeky grin, "Are you the heir to your clan?" She nodded, "Does your clan have fingers in multiple assets across the country and are they an integral part of Hi no Kuni?" She nodded again, "And are you going to end up owning this gigantic castle one day?" She nodded once more, "And finally, has your wallet ever, EVER had anything less than 500 ryo in it?"

Hinata shook her head as Naruto caught up with her as they entered, "Then I'm sorry, or happy, to say that you my dear princess are a princess."

Hinata narrowed her eyes, "Do you usually label people in such a manner?"

Naruto grinned at her, "Only people I like, and I calls 'em like I sees 'em… princess." Hinata pouted as Naruto burst out in laughter, "Oh don't give me that look. Because I called you a princess because of your manners, upbringing, and ridiculous amount of spare cash I am more than willing to admit that due to my upbringing, manners, or lack-thereof, and the fact that I live paycheck to paycheck and that this job will keep the lights on in casa del Uzumaki for the next two months, that I myself am a low-class, ghetto piece of orphan trash. See? I'm fair."

Hinata blinked as they strode through the halls of the clan house, "You're an orphan?" Naruto rubbed his nose, "Yep. You don't think someone with sane parents would let their 14 year old son become a mercenary do you?"

Hinata put a finger to her mouth in thought, "My uncle Hizashi is grooming my cousin Neji-niisan to take over the lead for the Hyuuga guards."

Naruto shook his head, "Not the same thing, he may have to get his hands dirty and he might get hurt. I have and will continue to wake up in the hospital wondering what the hell hit me and how the hell did they put this catheter in without me feeling it?"

Hinata blushed at that thought as Naruto continued to take in the looks of the house, "So can you fight? At all? Even a little bit counts."

Hinata snapped out of her thought, "Y-Yes I can. My father and uncle have trained me, my cousin, and my younger sister in our family's personal fighting style."

Naruto smiled, "Ooh can I learn it?" Hinata laughed, "No Uzumaki-san you cannot, even if we did train you in it you don't have all that you need for it to operate at full power. It takes another family trait for it to work."

Naruto wiggled his fingers in an intriguing fashion, "Sounds mysterious. Can I see it? It sounds cool." Hinata slid open an ornate door, "We shall see Uzumaki-san, we need to check in with my father first."

Naruto shook his head as he followed her in and spoke under his breath, "What is it with me and meeting girls' dads?"

Naruto followed Hinata into an office with a man sitting behind a desk. Hinata sat on her knees and inclined her head as Naruto followed suit, minus the bowing of the head part, "Otou-sama I am back from school and am ready for the remainder of my duties for the day."

Hiashi nodded and looked at Naruto, "Very good, and I assume that this is the mercenary that I have paid for? How has he been working out thus far Hinata?"

Hinata lifted her head, "Uzumaki-san has thus far been very good. He has been a very refreshing change of pace from the usual Hyuuga guards I am accustomed to."

Hiashi kept his gaze on Naruto, "I did not think that Hein Company would send one so young for such a mission. Are you sure that you are an adequately skilled mercenary child?"

Naruto chuckled blankly, "Sir if I was not capable then I would not have been sent on the assignment. I can assure you that I am more than enough to handle anything that could befall Hinata-sama here."

Hiashi nodded, "Very well then, you will stay with Hinata until you are summoned to leave for the day. You will follow roughly the same schedule until your contract ends in ten days. Do you have any questions?"

Naruto shook his head, "No it seems pretty straightforward to me. Actually I do have a question, when she eats and stuff do I have to test her food or something or is that just movie stuff?"

Hiashi just stared at him silently until Naruto slinked down, "Nevermind… I'll just wing it."

Hiashi turned her attention back to Hinata, "Hinata you and your bodyguard are excused, I will send a servant to call you for dinner, your bodyguard is welcome to join us."

Hinata stood and bowed to Hiashi, "Thank you father." Naruto gave a short bow and they left the room.

Naruto let out a breath as they headed down the hall again, "I thought he was going to pull a Darth Vader and choke me with his mind from the way he was staring at me back there."

Hinata gave Naruto an apologetic smile, "Yeah otou-sama is like that with most people, he even gives that to me and my sister sometimes, don't worry too much about it. But was that comment about my food really necessary?"

Naruto answered in an offended manner, "Hey, I've never had a protection detail before. I've had freelance jobs, but they were usually like 'go here and do something to that thing' kind of missions. No one briefed me, it's kind of an on-the-job training kind of thing, except you're on your own."

Hinata nodded and opened a door motioning for Naruto to enter, "Are you coming in?"

Naruto pointed to himself, "To your room? Shouldn't I stay outside or something?"

Hinata shook her head, "Then how would you be any different from the Hyuuga guards patrolling the mansion?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer but didn't have one, "Touché. Alright, sure."

Naruto walked in and looked around. Hinata's room was painted a soft yellow and was very frilly. The bed was massive and full of pillows and stuffed animals. Her TV was gigantic, a 36 inch flat screen hoisted up on the wall, the girl even had a couch in her room.

Naruto looked around as Hinata sat on her bed, "Girl room number 2. It's girly I will say that much." Naruto went over to the couch and flopped down face-first on it, hey old habits die hard.

Naruto rolled over to face the lavender-eyed girl, "So what are we going to be doing for the next such-and-such hours?"

Hinata pulled up a massive book from the floor and flipped it open, "I am going to be studying the Hyuuga financial archives until dinner, I don't know what you'll be doing Uzumaki-san."

Naruto exhaled and saw the remote control on her bed. Naruto attempted to reach for it but was short by 15 feet. Stretching and focusing on the remote, trying to will it over by use of his (non-existent) jedi mind powers. Naruto gave up and spoke, "Hey could you throw me the remote?"

Hinata didn't look up from her book, "No TV while I'm reading up on the records, it's distracting."

Naruto grumbled and flipped over to stare at the ceiling, 'Bored, bored, bored. Why did I take this mission? I'd be having more fun throwing blades of youki at Kiba. You'd think with all of her rich girl bank that she'd be more willing to go out and use it.'

Naruto, not wanting to waste any spare time of nothing, rolled off of the couch and started doing pushups, hoping that if he just kept going that eventually something would end up happening.

(3 hours later)

"Oneesan?"

A little girl with dark hair and pale eyes opened Hinata's door to see Hinata on the bed studying and a strange blonde boy on the floor doing pushups. Hinata looked up from the book and smiled warmly at her sister, "Hanabi-chan, is dinner ready?"

Hanabi blinked a few times watching the boy on the floor focus on his pushups before realizing Hinata had asked her a question, "Yes, I was just summoned so I decided to get you too."

Hinata stood up and straightened out her clothing before walking to the door, "Uzumaki-san, let's go." Naruto snapped to attention and stood up, dusting himself off as he followed the girls out.

As they walked down the hall Hanabi kept looking up at the strange blonde boy from her sister's room, "Who are you?" Naruto looked down at Hanabi, "Me? I'm Naruto Uzumaki, your sister's bodyguard."

Hanabi looked at Hinata, "He doesn't seem like one of our guards sister. Where did he come from?"

Hinata and company turned a corner before she spoke, "I asked otou-sama to hire a mercenary as my temporary guard. The Hyuuga guards just seem so distant and impersonal."

Hanabi looked back at Naruto who pointed at her and clicked his tongue. Hanabi looked back forward, "He's weird." Naruto face-fell.

Hinata broke out in a short laugh, "He is a little odd, but he is a nice person, I like him."

Naruto stood and caught back up, "Aww, the Hyuuga princess likes me. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside." Naruto chuckled until he stumbled and fell. As he tried to stand he found his right leg to be numb, "What the hell?"

Naruto looked up to find Hanabi looking at him with an angry face, "Don't talk about oneesan like that."

Hinata sighed and jabbed Naruto in a few places in his leg allowing him to stand again, "Hanabi it is quite all right, apparently that's how he shows preference to people."

Hanabi pouted, "He must have been raised in a barn or something."

Naruto pointed to himself, "Yo… Orphan…" He looked down and rubbed his thigh, "Seriously, what the hell just happened to me?"

Hinata began to explain, "That is our family's fighting style, Jyuuken. We project our chakra into our hands and fingers to jab at our enemies. We can damage your chakra points and even your internal organs with the right strikes. You do know what chakra is don't you?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah of course I do. But how can you tell where my chakra points are? Your sister moved too fast to get a look at my body if she had them memorized."

Hinata smiled back at Naruto, "That Uzumaki-san, is another of our secrets."

Naruto kept following them, "Um, right."

XxX

As Hinata and Naruto arrived back in her room Naruto flopped back on the couch, "That was not a very relaxing meal. So many utensils, I'm not rich like you guys I can't deal with this."

Hinata went into her closet and shut the door, "True I guess. Otou-sama, oji-san, and Neji-niisan didn't seem to like you."

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, them and the other fifteen members of your family, Kami, if I wanted to be put on the spot like that I would jump into a police lineup."

Hinata came back out in her training gear, "They will just have to get used to you, because I like having you around personally."

Naruto whistled as he got a look at her, 'Damn she fills that outfit out nicely.' A grin came to Naruto's face, "How about a little spin princess?"

Hinata blushed and sat on her bed, "That is far from appropriate Uzumaki-san."

Naruto laughed, "If you hang around me enough you'll find that there is little about me that one would find appropriate. The way I live would assure that."

A knock came at Hinata's door before it slid open to reveal Hiashi, "Uzumaki, your services are no longer required this evening, you may retire to your own home until tomorrow." Naruto nodded and stood up. Hiashi looked at Hinata, "Come Hinata, it is time for your training session."

Hinata nodded, "I will be with you in a moment otou-sama." Hiashi nodded and left the room. Naruto was about to follow when Hinata called for him, "How exactly did you live Uzumaki-san?"

Naruto chuckled as he stood by the door, "Some time down the line you have to let me tell you some stories. Let me just say that when you're me, life comes at you fast." Naruto winked at Hinata, "Goodnight princess." Naruto vanished from her doorway.

After a moment Hinata stood and left her room to head to the dojo, "Goodnight Uzumaki-san."

**Bam! Next chapter up for your viewing pleasure. The chapters are currently setting up the character of people I'm trying to change, and the overall background of most of the story, I pretty much am doing this off of the top of my head. I get random jolts of inspiration for this story from daily life, but I'm still trying to think of a main plot. It is slowly shaping in my mind and by the end of the month I should have a seriously set direction for the story.**

**Kenchi out. Enjoy your week, and if you hate the week like I do then at least you can take solace in sleep, I know I always do… sleep is awesome… What was I talking about?**

**Oh yeah. Kenchi out.**


	10. Standard Procedure

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did then Sasuke would be used the way he was meant to be used; as the anti-hero of the series, the guy that acts all like he doesn't care but will be on the main character's side always. He was like that at first, now he's so warped it's overbearing I just want Naruto to kill him and get it over with, no act of awesome can make up for the heaping amounts of douchebaggery I've been subjected to from Sasuke, if Kishimoto tries that shit, to bring him back to the good side I will be pissed, right now I just want Sasuke to die, he's more of an annoyance and a divergence from the real issue at hand than anything else, but knowing how shit like this goes he'll probably have Sasuke somehow bring about the apocalypse or something, then Sasuke will realize how stupid he was and come back to the light side and blah, blah, blah… I'm calling it here.

Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent… Enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 10: Standard Procedure**

It had been four days since Naruto had taken on the assignment of watching over the heiress to the Hyuuga Clan, Hinata. Every day after school he would meet up with her at her own school before it let out and ride back with her to stay by her side until he was told to retire for the night by Hiashi. Despite the social wall that nobility had seemingly put up around the girl Naruto found that once she had gotten used to him in the short time they were together she was a genuinely sweet girl.

As Naruto spent all of his time on the job after school he had to inform Kyuubi and put their training on hold for the moment. Kyuubi was a little put off, but understood; the reasoning for him to learn to harness his demonic powers was to make him an effective mercenary so the fact that he had to work wasn't really too much of a bother. Fortunately for our oblivious hero he didn't tell Kyuubi what the job entailed, thus he was able to keep his sanity for a while longer.

So we find our hero once again waiting outside of Northside High School for his client to escort her home. Naruto put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his hands as he started nodding off in the early afternoon sun, 'They won't let me inside this stupid rich kid school just to wait… If I get sunburn I'm adding treatment to my on-the-job expenses, and princess's driver won't let me wait in the car either.'

Naruto was stirred from his slumber by a poke. As he opened his eyes he saw a familiar face smiling pleasantly at him, namely Haku, "Hello Naruto-kun. Sleeping on the job aren't we?"

Naruto rubbed his eyes and stretched the kinks out of his body, "No way Haku-chan, I'm just resting so I can perform effectively when my client gets outside. Where did you come from anyway?"

Haku pointed to the school they were in front of. Naruto raised an eyebrow in response, "You go to school here Haku-neechan?"

Haku nodded, "Yes Zabuza-tousan wanted me to go here instead of your school."

Naruto shook his head, "South Konoha High isn't so bad, and besides, you are tough enough that no one can bother you." Naruto muttered under his breath, "Paranoid bandage-face… take my neechan away…"

Haku giggled and ruffled his hair, "I have to go now Naruto-kun, I'll see you later okay?" Naruto nodded as Haku turned to head off on her own.

Naruto sighed as he turned towards the entrance to see Hinata walking to him. Naruto jumped up with a smile on his face as he mock-bowed to Hinata, "Where to milady? Your wish is my command."

Hinata rolled her eyes and thumped him lightly on the head, "Uzumaki-san stand up straight please. I really wish you wouldn't speak like that and bow to me in public."

Naruto grinned at her, "Ah, so that's bedroom talk only eh? I get it." Hinata blushed furiously as she stammered, unable to make a comment in response. Naruto laughed as he grabbed the girl by the arm and took her to the car.

Once they were seated in the car Hinata regained her composure and began to speak, "Well Uzumaki-san, we won't be going directly home today."

Naruto perked up, seeing as he had been spending all of his time at the Hyuuga mansion for the entire week after school Naruto was borderline ecstatic to be getting out and about again, "Where are we going princess? Somewhere fancy?"

Hinata shook her head and put on a fake-angry face that her smile betrayed, "Possibly… Otousan and my imouto are at the government building downtown for a meeting with the Hokage. He wants me to come down and get Hanabi to go home with us."

Naruto sighed and leaned back in his seat, "Oh well… I guess it's better than just heading straight home anyway…"

Hinata noticed the distraught tone in his voice and spoke up, "Uzumaki-san what is the matter?"

Naruto looked over at her, "Well the mission is really chill and everything, it's calm and so far is really easy, and meeting you rich people was kind of interesting, but I'm absurdly bored right now. I haven't fought in over a week and I'm getting stir crazy, I haven't even practiced my techniques or jutsus in quite a while."

Hinata looked at Naruto in a confused manner, "But the other day when you sat in on my training session you fought."

(Flashback- 2 days ago, Hyuuga mansion dojo)

_Naruto had been seated along the wall of the dojo for two hours now watching the children of the clan go through their training for the day. At first all of them were going through the base katas and movements, but they later broke off into the groups labeled by experience and age. _

_Naruto took note that Hanabi was the most skilled of the children, but was a far cry from any of the older teenage Hyuuga kids like Hinata or Neji. Naruto actually took a little entertainment out of seeing the petite girl beat the crap out of the other kids around her age, but this was short lived however due to the simple fact that immense boredom was rearing its ugly head._

_Naruto stood up and stretched before he began going through a few combinations and style branching attacks of his own. The complex and at times unpredictable movements of Naruto's self-taught fighting style seemed to attract the attention of the people in the room, so much so that the instructor had to voice a comment._

"_Uzumaki-san." Naruto looked up to see Hizashi Hyuuga and all of the other Hyuuga youths in the room looking at him, "While I can appreciate the effort to using spare time to better yourself you are distracting the training session."_

_Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Sorry, I was just really bored, and seeing all of you training like this made me realize that ever since I took this job I haven't gotten any training in at all."_

_Hizashi chuckled, "Well maybe we can help each other. Come over here please." Naruto shrugged and walked over to Hizashi._

_Hizashi summoned the teenagers over and called three boys out, "Okay Uzumaki-san I wish for you to spar with one of the students, you look bored and as a mercenary you must be somewhat skilled in hand-to-hand combat. That and they need to get experience fighting someone that doesn't use Jyuuken, you would fit that bill."_

_Gesturing over to the three identical looking pale-eyed long haired boys Hizashi spoke again, "You may fight either Kota, Cain-."_

_Naruto cut in, "Yeah send them on in, let's do this."_

_Hizashi looked at Naruto and blinked, "You didn't pick one."_

_Naruto shook out his shoulders, "Yeah I know, I said send them all in, one won't be enough, trust me."_

_Hizashi just stepped back, "I will stop the fight when I deem it necessary to do so, do not severely injure your opponent."_

_Naruto settled into his stance, "Are you talking to them or me?" A smirk came onto his face as he saw all three boys unconsciously activate their Byakugan, "So that's how little Hanabi-chan could see my tenketsu huh? Those must be some damn good eyes, can't let you guys touch me, I'm sorry but this might be a little rough."_

_The boys circled Naruto and began pacing outside of range. Naruto rotated and kept keeping all three in good sight to defend against an off-angle attack, "Alright are one of you going to attack me or do I have to start because I'm getting dizzy here."_

_One of the boys rushed in and attempted a barrage of finger jabs at Naruto's body, Naruto dodged the strikes before slapping one of the boy's hands out of the way to throw him off balance. As the boy's guard way compromised Naruto shot a Wing Chun forearm strike to the throat of the Hyuuga and began a barrage of rolling punches that sent the boy reeling backwards in recoil. _

_As they traveled with the punches the remaining two boys ran in and attempted to take advantage of the numbers. Naruto saw one boy prepare to unleash a palm strike to his kidney and he shot out a low kick to throw him off balance. The boy stumbled and Naruto used a single-leg mule kick to send him backwards. The last boy closed the distance and sent a series of finger jabs at Naruto again as Naruto pushed the first boy out of the way so he could focus on one opponent at a time._

_As he dodged one strike hit him in the chest and Naruto felt his breathing constrict, 'They barely have to even touch me to do damage! That's terrifying! I need to end this now!'_

_Naruto ducked low as the third boy overextended a finishing blow and Naruto used his arm to violently sweep his enemy's feet out from under him. As Naruto rotated with his swing he caught the boy before he started to fall and threw him hard at the first boy who was still recovering his senses from Naruto's first salvo of attacks. _

_The two collided hard and fell haphazardly across the floor before staying down. Naruto turned his attention to the second boy to attack him and they began to circle each other. Naruto had a smirk on his face as he looked down as he threw a kick. The second Hyuuga boy anticipated a low kick as Naruto had been looking down as he shot his leg out, however the kick, instead of going low, which would have been negated by the boy, Naruto went high as his kick impacted off of the side of the boy's head. The kick forced the boy to crumple in a heap on the floor (See Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Mirko Cro Cop knockout head kick on youtube to truly get the concept.)_

_Naruto smirked as the room went silent. Naruto looked over at the gob-smacked Hizashi Hyuuga and shrugged, "I'm used to fighting groups of people. That and I really didn't feel like getting my respiratory system shut down by some guy poking me in the chest."_

(End Flashback)

Naruto scratched his ear, "Yeah that was easy as hell. Although that isn't a fair comparison, I spar with people that get into fights for a living and we hurt each other… badly. Why this one kid Rock Lee, I never fight him without ending up with some nasty purple bruises everywhere the next day… I think he cracked a rib or two last time we fought."

Hinata sighed as she slinked in her seat, "I hope I never have to fight anyone like you, I thought Kota and his brothers were good, just as good as me. If a newly minted mercenary can fight and embarrass us like that then I don't want to think of what will happen if I was attacked by one after my life."

Naruto chuckled, "I am not a regular rookie. I've been doing this in some way for five years. By all rights they should have let me join the company years ago, a lot of the veterans have trouble with me in spars. And I didn't even start using jutsu on you guys, go figure. But hey! Your dad paid for the best, well he got the very best in one Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto saw Hinata's downcast look and tried to cheer her up, "Hey, if you actually get used to fighting people that don't share your fighting style then you'll get better at fighting in general, I have opponents that range from random street thugs to a guy with a big-ass zanbatou that's bigger than you or me."

He put a hand on her shoulder, "If you want to, we can fight and you can learn how people that don't use Jyuuken fight, I can do a pretty good impression of a bunch of styles, enough so that I can give you a good simulation of a bunch of different looks."

Hinata smiled as she looked up at Naruto, "Thank you Uzumaki-san."

Naruto put his hands behind his head and leaned back, "Anytime princess, anytime."

XxX

Kyuubi sat in one of the chairs by the front door of the HQ of Hein Company sighing with her hands propping up her face, "I hate to say it but I think I'm starting to miss that blonde idiot."

Haku, who was taking up her usual position as the one watching the door smiled at the red-haired half-demon, "Naruto-kun has a way of growing on you."

Kyuubi chuckled, "Yep, just like a virus. Are you sure you can't tell me anything about his mission? I won't screw with him, I just want to know."

Haku frowned, "We both know that if you knew anything about his mission you would be grilling him about it the next time you saw him. There is a reason that we keep mission information within the walls and keep it here, if someone knew who was doing what and where it was happening and that person had no business in our business it could really mess things up."

Kyuubi pouted, "Whatever Haku, stingy." Kyuubi looked around in a confused manner, "Naruto said that you usually were the person watching the door… Why do you take this job all the time?"

Haku smiled at Kyuubi again, "I guess my pleasant demeanor is perfect for greeting members."

Kyuubi gave her a dry look, "Riiight… Or you do it because you're getting a steady paycheck for just sitting here and opening a door."

Haku's smile never dropped, "I don't know what you're talking about Kyuubi-chan."

Kyuubi shook her head, "Of course you don't…"

Kakashi walked up to the two girls as Haku greeted him, "Heading home Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi gave her an eye-smile, "Yeah, I have an op with Obito and Rin tomorrow, tell Naruto when he shows his face again so that he doesn't freak out like he did that one time."

Haku giggled, "That was four years ago Kakashi-san, I don't think he'd worry so much this time."

Kakashi gave her an eye-smile, "Well just in case let the kid know when you see him again."

Haku nodded as Kakashi waved goodbye and left the building, leaving the two girls at the door alone once more.

Haku turned to Kyuubi once again, "When did you start showing up here without Naruto-kun Kyuubi-chan?"

Kyuubi shrugged, "I don't know. When he started his mission I guess. I would hang out with Sasuke, but he always has to head to the police station after school is over, I would end up punching Kiba in the face if I hung out with him, and that Rock Lee kid I saw running around here gives me the creeps. You're probably the most normal person I can tolerate being around."

Haku nodded, "Besides Naruto-kun."

Kyuubi nodded, "Yeah besides Naruto-ku-. Damn it Haku!"

Haku turned away with a smile on her face, "You know it isn't a bad thing that you like him like that you know. If he wasn't two years younger than me and kind of like my little brother I might consider him."

Kyuubi blushed, "It isn't like that damn it! If it isn't people like you it's my mom, or some wrinkle in the fates. It's like we're being pushed together. I just wanted a friend from this city and later wanted to teach a friend how to harness his new powers. And now the idiot is growing on me. And he knows how things are coming together but it's like he wants me to admit it before he does anything."

Haku raised an eyebrow, "So… why don't you?" Kyuubi sputtered as Haku carried on, "He knows you like him, but he's not going to push himself on you, he doesn't push himself on anyone. Whenever anyone wanted anything to do with him he always made them express that to him somehow they wanted him in their life somehow, like with me. I ended up asking him to spar with me because when I was younger no one wanted to train with me, they thought I was too delicate and wouldn't take me seriously, so I asked Naruto-kun one day and now we're fairly close."

Kyuubi groaned, "I don't know… I have to find the blonde idiot first and talk to him personally before I can go with this any further."

XxX

Naruto currently had a twitching eyebrow. Why you might ask? Well because he was now stuck in a car with not only his client, Hinata Hyuuga, that was okay he was just fine with that, he was stuck with his client's little sister Hanabi, who delighted in somewhat mouthing off to the hired hand of violence, who ironically couldn't use said violence to solve his current problem.

Hinata was dividing the two, allowing Hanabi a lot more freedom to antagonize the exasperated hanyo, "You don't look strong enough to defend anyone. What will you do if we get kidnapped? You would probably beg and hand us over. I wonder how weak you are, I incapacitated you in the hall before you knew what hit you. I thought all mercenaries had to be aware of their surroundings."

Naruto was grinding his teeth, 'Just reach over the princess and wrap your hand around the little brat's throat, one hand should be enough to strangle her dead. I don't HAVE to keep her safe too, just Hinata, protecting her little troll of a sister was not in my contract… I'd better be getting paid extra for this crap.'

Naruto tried tuning the little girl out and looked at Hinata who was giving him an apologetic look. Naruto sweat-dropped and looked forward, "Yo driver-guy, you got any faster routes to the mansion? My sanity is being tested here."

The driver looked into the mirror with an amused look on his face, "Sorry Uzumaki-san, we are going all the way across town to reach the mansion."

Naruto groaned as Hanabi kept talking, "Some professional you are, a little girl is working your nerves."

Naruto growled, "I am not one for situations like this, rush a bonafide fortress full of bad guys armed to the teeth and I won't flinch. Go into a seedy bar downtown and bust some lowlife's ass surrounded by his flunkies, no problem. However I have little to no tact, I call 'em like I see 'em and I have no diplomacy."

Naruto crossed his arms and looked out the window, "I'm a fighter, I already know what I specialize in and suffice it to say escorts and bodyguard deals are not my forte."

Naruto's senses tingled as they crossed an intersection just to see a hummer plow into the side of their car, his side. Naruto felt his head bounce off of the metal frame of the car and the impact of the crash dislocating his arm.

As the girls were still reeling but otherwise unharmed the driver grabbed at his head before being pulled from his seat. Naruto felt something crack him hard in the side of his head as the girls were pulled from the car.

A semi-conscious Naruto dragged himself outside onto the ground and stood to see the girls thrown into the hummer. Naruto stood up clutching his useless limb, 'Fuck… game on then.'

Naruto triggered his youki and he felt his claws extend in his useable arm. He saw men in black clothing and skull caps rushing back to the hummer, "Oh no you don't you bastards, Fungeki Kiretsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

Naruto's attack hit home on one of the attackers and sent him to the ground wounded. The other made it back to the vehicle just in time for it to pull off, leaving the wounded man behind. Naruto fired off two more attacks that missed before he dropped to his knees in the street.

Naruto looked around at the people gathering at the scene. He sighed deeply before getting a firm grip on his shoulder and gritting his teeth. He let out a muffled yelp as he jerked his shoulder back into the socket and stood back up.

Naruto looked over to the lone assailant crawling over to an alley before he followed him. Naruto closed the distance and stepped on the man's heel making him cry out. Naruto grabbed the man by his collar and pulled him face-to-face, "Now that I have your attention… You and me need to have a little chit-chat."

XxX

Sasuke stood in Naruto's living room/kitchen area beside his best friend, "You're dead serious aren't you?" Naruto nodded, "Yep."

Sasuke shot his a disbelieving look, "So this is what you get up to when I'm not around."

Naruto scratched his nose, "Uh… yeah, yeah it is."

Sasuke took a deep sigh as he looked at the man tied to a chair in Naruto's kitchen with tape over his mouth. Sasuke rubbed the bridge of his nose, "You call me with some ridiculous shit sometimes but this takes the cake."

Naruto gave him a sly grin, "So are you in? I know you want to."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "I'm a cop Naruto I can't be caught up in this crap."

Naruto raised his hand in defense, "Correction. You're an officer-in-training. Now help me interrogate this fucker so I can go get the girls back."

Sasuke still wasn't convinced, "Just call the cops you idiot, this is way over our heads… We're just fucking kids."

Naruto gave him a dry look, "We're fucking kids that have retractable claws, kick-ass hand-to-hand skills, super speed and agility, can replicate ourselves, and can shoot big-ass fireballs from our mouths. If I'm gonna get taken down it sure as hell isn't going to be by a group of guys that dress like 1960's cat burglars."

Sasuke wasn't convinced by that 'eloquent' statement, "Uh huh, I'll repeat what I already said. Call. The. Cops… You idiot."

Naruto got a tick mark on his head, "Hey teme I can't call the fucking cops! If I call the cops then Hiashi Hyuuga will cut my balls off in my sleep, bronze them, and put them on his mantle as a prize… then he'll kill me or have me killed. Don't you get it? I FUCKED UP! The girls are gone and my ass is in the fire, pull me out!"

Sasuke groaned, "I guess I owe you after what happened when I stole the squad car that time and crashed it into that bus stop…"

Naruto grinned and patted Sasuke on the back, "Relax teme, if this guy has anything to do with the guys that attacked you and Itachi that night then they should all be as weak as kittens, we can nip this in the bud tonight."

Sasuke and Naruto pulled on latex gloves as Sasuke spoke, "We can nip this in the bud after we interrogate this loser."

Naruto raised his eyebrow, "I never saw a cop put on gloves before he interrogated me at the station."

Sasuke smirked darkly as he picked up a staple gun and a box of threading needles, "We aren't at the station are we?"

Naruto grinned darkly as they turned towards the whimpering thug tie to the chair, "Now… Where are my Hyuuga girls?"

**Next chapter up for your literary enjoyment**. **Read upon the fruits of my labor and rejoice accordingly! …By rejoice accordingly I mean review, I don't do this for kicks… Yes I do… Nevermind.**

**Kenchi out.**


	11. Rescue the Princess

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did then Naruto would be a cynical smart-ass and he would have a kick-ass one-liner in every chapter, alas I don't own Naruto so he is an idiot that has more mood swings than Kitty from "That 70's Show."

**Chapter 11: Rescue the Princess**

Neji had been waiting for Hinata and Hanabi to arrive with the hired mercenary Naruto Uzumaki for hours. It shouldn't have taken anymore than an extra hour for them to arrive back at the Hyuuga compound. Neji eventually left the property for a while with the intention of finding out exactly where his cousins and the hired mercenary were.

Neji found the scene of the wreck, complete with the driver who had at this point awakened. After being told of what had occurred Neji almost freaked out, until the driver said that Naruto had gotten away from the scene. Panic was replaced by anger as at this point Neji sought out the young hanyo to find out exactly what had gone down.

A trail eventually led the young noble to an apartment complex in The Bowery district of Konoha. On the top floor Neji heard muffled speech from a very distinctive voice coming from one of the apartments. Neji narrowed his eyes as he came upon the door of choice and knocked with authority.

Neji heard fumbling around, muffled yelling and two distinct thwack noises from the room before footsteps came to the door. The door opened to find Naruto and a dark-haired boy that Neji deduced as being an Uchiha… with latex gloves on… staring at him blankly.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at one another and back at Neji for a moment before the two punched at Neji's face… and then it all went dark.

XxX

"… -out a fucking Hyuuga kid! We are screwed!"

"Shut up dobe, as long as we get them back before Hiashi finds out then you won't die a painful nameless death."

Neji awakened to find himself sitting in front of the two boys who were apparently pondering on their current situation. Neji turned to his left and saw an unconscious man in black with staples all inside of his flesh and needles in very painful areas, apparently they had pierced his nose with one the good old fashioned way, brute force.

Neji tried to move but found his body restricted, he tried to yell but found his mouth bound like his body… both with duct tape. Neji sighed and waited out the arguments from his teenage captives.

Naruto paced in his apartment, "This is just fucking great. How did he even find me anyway?"

Sasuke looked from Naruto to Neji with an appraising eye, "Sorry about the duct tape but the idiot over there used all of his rope on your neighbor over there." Sasuke pointed at the bound man in black, "I'll take the tape off of your mouth, just don't do anything stupid, we don't really care about you."

Neji nodded and Sasuke pulled the tape off of his mouth. Naruto yelled from his room, "Did I just hear you pull tape off of something deputy?"

Sasuke yelled back, "I pulled the tape off of the Hyuuga kid's mouth."

Naruto walked back into the kitchen and stared at Neji, "What's up."

Neji glared at Naruto, "You allowed a group of kidnappers to take my cousins you incompetent fool. My father said that enlisting the services of such a lowlife organization would be detrimental to the safety of our family, you ruffi-."

Naruto stared at him for a second before sighing and grabbing the roll of tape from the counter. Stretching out a piece and placing it back over the mouth of the protesting Neji, "And that's why I taped his mouth Sasuke. Not because I thought he was stupid enough to yell, but because the second he saw me and could speak he'd start mouthing off with those private school words."

Sasuke shook his head, "You idiot, he's a Hyuuga right?"

Naruto nodded as Sasuke continued, "That means he can fight, and that means he can help us get the girls you lost back."

Naruto glared at Sasuke, "I didn't lose them. They were taken from me."

Sasuke looked at Neji, "So are you willing to help us out? If not we'll just leave you here duct taped to the chair until we get back, and stop moving before you get too much tape residue on your clothes."

Neji sighed and nodded. Naruto smiled, "Good, now the tape comes off."

Naruto ripped the tape off of Neji's mouth as he yelped in pain. Naruto grinned evilly at the pale-eyed boy, "Whoops, my bad."

Neji glared at the blonde, but relented, "So you know where Hinata and Hanabi are?"

Naruto and Sasuke grinned as Naruto spoke, "Yes, Mr. Random Crony over here was very cooperative after Sasuke here started shoving sewing needles into random places. As you can see we were nice enough to give him a free nose piercing to show all of his friends for his information."

Sasuke chuckled, "What about you? You went kind of nuts with the staple gun you know. You had to refill it to keep going."

Naruto waved him off, "Hey, the staple gun was cool… can I keep it?"

Sasuke walked over to the table by the TV and grabbed a notebook with the info from the prisoner on it. Naruto snickered when he saw it, "As you can see Neji, Sasuke's super sleuthing notebook here has all the stuff we plugged from queer-bait over here."

Sasuke slapped Naruto across the back of the head with the notebook grumbling about asshole blondes and smart-ass comments.

Naruto pulled out a knife and cut Neji loose, "We know where they are and what they want with them. We were just about to gear up to ride on them, so let's go get your fine-ass cousin back!"

Neji growled at that last comment as Naruto and Sasuke grabbed their packs by the door. Sasuke leaned over to talk to Naruto, "Is his cousin really good-looking?"

Neji heard the boys talking all the way down the hall, "Deputy you would drop your fan-club in a heartbeat if you thought she was into you. But seeing is believing, you can bask in her hotness when we free her."

Neji restrained himself as he shut the door and followed the boys out into the night air.

XxX

Hinata awakened in a dark room to find her little sister looking directly at her with a scared look in her eyes, 'What happened?' Hinata remember the car wreck and the abduction, 'Uzumaki-san never had a chance to defend us… he was blindsided first.'

Hinata tried to wriggle but ended up giving herself slight burns from the rope she was tied with. Hinata looked at her frightened sister, "Hanabi-chan, we'll be fine. I'm sure help is on the way as we speak."

Hanabi looked into her sister's comforting eyes and calmed down a bit, nodding her head. Hinata sighed and sat back in her chair.

XxX

"I'm telling you teme she's a sweetheart and a total babe."

Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji were walking down the darkened streets following the directions Naruto pulled off of mapquest, "Man I swear, mapquest freaking makes you go around in circles instead of giving you a straight shot."

Sasuke snorted in amusement as Neji lost patience, "Where are we going? Do you two even know what you're doing?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked back at Neji before Naruto spoke up, "Neji if you're just going to bitch then go on back to the compound and wait for the orphan kid and the solo cop to get the girls back. You know next to nothing about this kind of thing, me and Sasuke are professionals."

Sasuke coughed a sound that sounded suspiciously like 'bullshit' before smiling as Naruto glared at him. Sasuke took over, "Well Naruto is kind of right, we're not really professionals, but we have done this before."

Neji stood still and took the moment in. Naruto had foregone his usual attire for black track pants he tucked into his boots and a tight black muscle shirt, he even had a knife tucked into his belt for close-up combat. Sasuke had gotten rid of his usual blue shirt and white pants and had gone in black cargo pants and a long sleeve black under-armour.

Neji was dressed in the same stuff he had on when he left the mansions, he wasn't prepared for a rescue at all.

Neji looked at the two boys who were going over Sasuke's notes and discussing amongst themselves how they should handle this. Naruto turned to face Neji who had a look of helplessness on his face. Naruto clapped the long-haired Hyuuga on the shoulder, "Hey listen, sometimes you have to do things off the grid to get stuff done, don't worry, this is your first time doing this so we'll ease you in and handle the heavy stuff ourselves if it comes to that."

Neji nodded, "So I'm guessing that three story building over there is where they have my cousins." Upon seeing the boys nod Neji kept speaking, "Well what is the plan for getting in and getting them out?"

Naruto grinned, "The original plan called for us to just kick down the front door and run amok inside, taking down every single soul we came across until we find Hinata and Hanabi and then haul ass out of there after planting charges and blowing that son-of-a-bitch sky high."

Naruto took on a heroic pose, "After which the incredibly fine Hinata Hyuuga would be endlessly grateful to me and my amazing combat prowess, and being the kind generous soul she is she would allow me to take her home and make love to her time and time again and one day marry her and live happily ever after… in theory."

Neji silently seethed as Sasuke cleared his throat, "Of course Naruto here suffers from an acute case of narcissism and oftentimes has delusions of grandeur and is not worth a damn when it comes to planning infiltration."

Sasuke flipped through his notes, "I on the other hand, being the son of the chief of police have trained extensively with Konoha's special sector of the police force and I am damn good at the heavy assault stuff, so I have actually taken it upon myself to come up with a plan that would actually… I don't know… work?"

Sasuke called for the boys to come closer, "Alright Neji, you are very important here. Listen up, do your job, and we'll all be sitting pretty at a waffle house by 4 am."

XxX

Hinata opened her eyes as she heard a door open as a group of men entered the room, "So these are the daughters of Hiashi Hyuuga?" One teenager reached out and grabbed her chin to look at her face. Hinata saw the black unruly, spiky hair along with the odd headgear and the beady black eyes of her captive.

"Oh yeah, those eyes of hers are primo, we can ransom her back, or see if some twisted scientist out there wants to study the bloodline, either way these two will fetch a pretty penny."

The man backed away as he shouted, "Start making out the fucking ransom and the fucking offers to the others. I want a response by tomorrow morning damn it."

A voice of an underling rang out, "We're on it Zaku."

Hinata shut her eyes tightly, 'This isn't happening! Someone get us out of this…'

XxX

The trio had taken a position on a rooftop within view of the building they were targeting. Naruto had binoculars out as he was scanning the building until a figure came from the main doors and began running, "Yo Sasuke!"

Sasuke ran over and looked at the man, "Take him out."

Naruto nodded and pulled a kunai out of his bag. Naruto hurled it at the man as it planted itself dead in his spine, the man choked out a sharp yell and collapsed in a heap. Naruto smirked, "Damn… You know he's dead."

Naruto and Sasuke jumped down and grabbed the dead man as they went back up the building, Naruto noticed the tattoo of the kanji 'kill' on his arm, "It's one of Zaku's goons… Small-time nobody."

Naruto began to rifle through his belongings as Neji looked on in shock, "How can you just do this to that man's body?"

Naruto shrugged, "He doesn't need it anymore does he?" Naruto found the man's wallet and pulled out a wad of bills, "I'm paying for breakfast after we're done here!" Naruto rifled through the money with a grin on his face, "Oh yeah… Oh hell yeah!"

Sasuke took over Naruto's spot overlooking the building, "Zaku Abumi? Didn't we beat his ass all through middle school? How did he set all of this up? He should know he doesn't have the firepower to risk something like this."

Neji shook his head as Naruto kept looking through his things before he pulled out pieces of paper. Naruto's eyes widened as he read, "Oh no. We should probably go ahead and start the operation… like now."

Sasuke put up the binoculars and walked over to read what was in Naruto's hand, "Oh hell… Alright let's get started."

Neji was confused by the change in attitude, "What did those papers say? What is so important that you both got so serious?"

Naruto looked at Neji, "Well, we know exactly what they want with Hinata and Hanabi." Neji looked at Naruto expectantly, "They're going to either ransom them off, or just sell them to some shady black market scientist type guys."

Sasuke nodded, "They really want your family's doujutsu."

Neji glared at Sasuke, "How do you two know about the Byakugan?"

Naruto and Sasuke gave him a dry look as Naruto answered, "I've been hanging out on your property for the last week and have had very detailed conversations with Hinata, who trusts me. So I'm going to go in there, crack some skulls and get her out."

Sasuke followed up, "My dad is the chief of police and all law enforcement in Konoha, if me and my brother didn't have any clue on the inner workings of a few of the big time players in this city then we'd be useless wouldn't we?"

Naruto pointed to the building they had been observing, "Now go do your job, and don't fuck it up, just remember what we told you."

XxX

Zaku had quickly established himself as the boss of the thugs as he was the one who had brought his idea to the others. He had found those crazy enough to attempt such a thing and had been the one careful enough to find only those that he knew would take the job, he didn't need any information about his plan getting out.

His plan to take the Uchiha children had failed, they were both far too strong for simple street thugs to handle alone, however he had the element of complete surprise on the Hyuuga heirs. A simple plan sometimes works best and crashing a car is as simple as it comes, the wreck incapacitated the kid with them' so what if he lost one man? The kid probably killed him and tied up that loose end for him.

Now all he had to do was just wait for the responses for his offers to come in and he was loaded for life.

"Zaku!"

Zaku turned towards a man walking over, "What is it? We get an offer already?"

The man shook his head, "We've got another of those Hyuuga kids here."

Zaku looked confused before a grin broke out on his face, "Do we now? More money for us I guess, I don't need to see him. I know you can tell if he is a Hyuuga or not, just place him with the rest."

The man nodded, "Sure thing Zaku." He headed off to follow his orders.

XxX

Hinata's attention was once again taken as she heard the door open again. She lifted her head to see Neji being tied to a chair on the other side of the room. Hinata hitched a gasp in her throat as she saw her impassive cousin's stare from across the room.

She waited until the grunts left before she spoke, "Neji-niisan? What? How did they get you too?"

Neji plastered a rare smile on his face, "The Uchiha and the mercenary were right… These guys are small time."

Hinata blinked, in confusion, "Why are you here? How did they catch you?"

Neji shook his head and motioned to his headband, "Things are not as they appear my dear cousin. I hope you got all of that Uchiha… Uzumaki."

Hinata's eyes widened in shock, "Uzumaki-san? He found us here?"

XxX

Chakra is so useful, as Naruto and Sasuke can most certainly attest to, seeing as how they were both hanging off of the side of the building by their feet sticking to the wall.

Naruto chuckled as Sasuke held his laptop, "Those idiots were so eager to get another set of eyes to trade they didn't even check him for bugs!"

Sasuke shook his head with a grin on his face, "All it would've taken was a quick sweep of his ear and his headband, we loaded the camera, microphone and earpiece on him."

They heard speech from the laptop signifying Neji was talking, "We're on the top floor, which room I cannot tell, it is far too dark to count rooms. Hinata and Hanabi are just fine as far as I can see."

They heard Hinata speak up in affirmation making Naruto grin, "Hey Neji, ask your cousin if I can get her number after we get you guys out of there."

They snickered as they heard Neji growl, "Alright Neji hold on, we'll be there in a few, maintaining radio silence from here on out."

Sasuke packed up his laptop as the two walked over to a grate near the top of the building. Naruto quickly loosened and pulled it off as Sasuke crawled inside, Naruto followed and pulled the grate back over the opening on the side of the building.

The two boys crawled through the ventilation system on their fingers and toes to minimize sound. Naruto ran into Sasuke as he stopped without warning. Naruto growled, "Deputy move your ass. Stop when we get to the right hall."

Sasuke kicked Naruto in the head, "Dobe… We are in the right hall, hold on."

Sasuke pulled a wire camera from his pocket and slipped it through the grate. Naruto looked on in disbelief, "How do you have all of this crap?"

Sasuke chuckled nervously, "Just remind me to get this stuff back to Itachi when we finish here."

Naruto snickered as Sasuke pulled the cable camera back up, "We're clear… These idiots don't even patrol the building."

Sasuke removed the grate and dropped down followed closely by Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke scanned the hall once more before Sasuke spoke up, "Are we still going to blow up the building?"

Naruto grinned, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Fine then sociopath, I'll plant the charges, go get the Hyuugas out and then contact me."

Naruto and Sasuke both ran off in their own directions. As he ran Sasuke sighed, 'Why did I take the hard job? I have to sneak to the ground floor and plant charges, I'm such an idiot.'

Naruto slowed down and scanned the rooms, sensing for life behind the doors he tip-toed by long enough to get a decent reading, you gotta love heightened senses.

XxX

Sasuke had made his way to the stairwell and was about to go down until he heard footsteps and raucous laughter. Sasuke shot a look down the stairs to see one of the thugs on his phone and heading his way. Sasuke put his back to the wall outside of the stairwell and tensed his muscles, this had to be hard and fast. As the speech got closer Sasuke had to control his heartbeat. Sasuke basically stopped his breathing as the man passed right by him without noticing him. Sasuke wrapped his hand around the man's mouth and popped him in the base of the skull with an elbow strike.

After he rendered the man unconscious he dragged him into one of the empty rooms and hurried downstairs.

XxX

Naruto stopped in front of a door that he felt a presence behind. Naruto reached for the knob but could not open it. Naruto pulled the knife from his pocket with the extra long point on the end and began jimmying the lock until he heard a light click symbolizing the tumblers turning over.

Naruto smiled to himself as he opened the door slowly.

… Just to come face to face with three thugs playing poker upstairs.

The two groups stared at one another in silence for a moment until Naruto spoke up, "Can I jump in?"

The thugs looked at each other for a moment until a gruff voice spoke up, "Why not kid, pull up a chair."

Naruto let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and sat down while the cards were being dealt. The dealer spoke up, "I don't remember seeing you around here before kid. I didn't know Nanashi let a kid like you in on this."

Naruto gulped subconsciously, "Yeah, Zaku wouldn't let me in on any of the wet work, I'm his nephew so he said he'd let me get a taste though, and here I am."

Once again Naruto held his breath until another thug seemingly accepted this line of reasoning, "I can understand that. You wanted a quick buck kid?"

Naruto nodded, "Oh yeah, I cannot get a real job, I am far too awesome to work a 9 to 5."

The men at the table chuckled as Naruto let anime tears fall while taking his cards.

XxX

Twenty minutes later Sasuke planted the last of his explosives and evaded contact with any of the thugs in the building until he reached the third floor, "The dobe should have been finished way before me, what is taking him?"

Sasuke pulled a mini GPS out of his pocket to search for his wayward friend and found the door he lay behind. Sasuke forced the door open, "Dobe what are you doing we have to g-."

Sasuke saw Naruto and three other guys all playing cards, Naruto had a substantial amount of chips close to him when compared to the others.

One thug stood up and pointed at Sasuke, "Who is the brat?"

Naruto tried to save face, "This? He's Zaku's… I've got nothing."

Naruto slammed one of the men's heads into the table as Sasuke ran across the room and hit a leaping kick to the head of the standing man. The last man flipped up the table as he tried to get away. Naruto and Sasuke chased him into the hallway where he was making quite a racket trying to get away.

Naruto eventually tackled him to the ground and slammed his head on the ground repeatedly until the man was unconscious. Naruto looked back at Sasuke who turned away from his partner looking sheepish, "That was really tactical Mr. Special Forces."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, "Shut up. If you were in the room I assumed it was clear."

Naruto snapped at the onyx eyed teen, "If it was clear I wouldn't have been in there!"

Sasuke looked around quickly, "Look we have to get moving. I know somebody heard all of the racket, we need to get the hell out of here."

Naruto and Sasuke started back down the hallway again.

XxX

Neji had waited for Naruto and Sasuke to arrive. He and Hinata had taken to explaining the situation to Hanabi after she had awoken and after succinctly scaring the girl had comforted her by saying that everything would be fine.

The kids heard crashing on the other side of the door.

"Keeyah bitch!"

A guard flew through the door and rolled to a stop as Naruto and Sasuke walked into the room.

Naruto grinned at Hinata, "Hello princess, miss me?"

Hinata smiled as Sasuke cut Neji loose and got Hanabi free. Naruto went to cut Hinata from her chair, "You would not believe the day I've had since I lost you this afternoon."

Naruto pulled her to her feet and led the way to the roof as Sasuke and Neji watched the rear.

As they arrived on the rooftop Naruto and Sasuke looked over the edge, Naruto scratched his head, "So how are we getting down?"

Sasuke shrugged, "We could grab a girl and jump, use chakra against the wall to slow the drop."

Naruto looked at the Hyuugas, "What about Neji, I know damn well he can't do that."

Sasuke went into his pack and pulled out a rope, Naruto pulled a kunai from his own and stuck it into the roof. Sasuke tied the rope around it securely and called the Hyuugas over, "Okay Neji you take the rope and climb down, it isn't that far. We'll take the girls and jump down ourselves. Then we haul ass out of here."

Naruto cut in, "And blow this place sky-fucking-high!"

Sasuke rubbed his temple, "*sigh* And blow this place sky-fucking-high."

Neji secured himself to the rope and began his descent as the other boys turned to the girls as Sasuke spoke up, "Ladies, let's finish this rescue so I can go sleep in tomorrow."

Hinata and Hanabi nodded as Hinata grabbed onto Naruto and Sasuke picked up Hanabi as both boys jumped off of the roof and slid down the side, meeting Neji on the ground.

XxX

Naruto's door clicked open as he walked in. He stopped as he looked at the man still tied to the chair in his kitchen, "We didn't cut that guy loose?"

Sasuke walked in behind him and shook his head, "I'll take him to the station… Did we forget something?"

Naruto dropped his stuff on the floor before his face lit up and he pulled out his phone, "Sasuke what's the number for the bomb?"

Sasuke showed him the number in his call history and Naruto punched in the number with glee. A tone was heard from the phone as a distant explosion went off. Naruto snickered and sat on his couch, "Ah, that'll be all over the news tomorrow."

Sasuke grabbed the man in the chair after knocking him out and cut him free, "I'll take this loser to the station and then I'm going home to crash out." Naruto waved him off as Sasuke vanished from his doorway.

Naruto just sat watching TV for a few minutes as his adrenaline rush from the night began wearing off. His eyes flickered closed before a knock at his doorframe woke him from his pseudo-slumber. He turned expecting to see Sasuke missing something, however Hinata standing by his door.

Naruto stood up to face the girl, "What's wrong princess? Did something happen again? Are you okay?"

Hinata smiled and walked over to him, "I'm fine Uzumaki-kun. I just wanted to come and say thank you."

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Well it was nothing, you were my responsibility… Wait, did you call me Uzumaki-_kun_?"

Hinata nodded and wrapped him up in a hug, "I knew you would come for me Uzumaki-kun. I believed in you."

Naruto's face heated up, "Of course I did. I would have tried to help even if it wasn't my job. You're a good girl."

Hinata blushed as she looked up into Naruto's face and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Naruto raised his eyebrow as the girl pulled back, "Huh… I can't say I saw that coming."

Hinata put her hands behind her back, "Thank you Uzumaki-kun, you said I paid for the best when you showed up and you actually proved it by getting us back."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Hey listen, I think you're a really cool girl, I just wondered if we could stay as friends after my contract expires. I like hanging out with you."

Hinata nodded, "I would like that very much."

Naruto yawned, "Well princess, I'm beat. I need to get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow at the compound."

Naruto turned to his room but stopped as Hinata stayed where she stood forcing Naruto to turn around, "What's wrong, you need me to take you home?"

Hinata shifted uncomfortably in place, "Ano… if you don't mind I would appreciate it if you let me stay with you tonight, please. I don't want to be alone…"

Naruto scratched the back of his head before he shrugged, "If you're okay with it then that's okay with me."

Naruto grabbed some clothes from his dresser and threw it at Hinata, a baggy pair of sweatpants and a shirt, "You can wear that tonight." Naruto walked into the bathroom and came back out in pajama bottoms, "You take the bed, I'll hit the couch tonight."

Naruto grabbed the door to shut it before Hinata grabbed his hand, "Uzumaki-kun it would be very rude of me to simply take your bed for the night… You can share it with me, I won't mind."

Naruto lifted his eyebrow in confusion as Hinata pulled him to the bed. She got in on her side and gave Naruto a reassuring smile. Naruto acquiesced and got on the other side of the bed.

Hinata turned to face Naruto as he shut off the lamp on his nightstand, "Goodnight Uzumaki-kun."

Naruto sighed as he shut his eyes, "Call me Naruto princess… We're closer than that."

Hinata smiled as she got comfortable and closed her eyes, "Naruto-kun…"

XxX

Zaku had fled quickly after the first set of explosions had gone off in the building. He was sure none of his hired help survived, but he didn't care about that. The biggest score of his life had been walked out of his hands right under his nose.

He sat on the bed of a cheap motel room as he wiped his wounds from the explosion down with a wet washcloth, "Fuck… I'll never get close to that much money again…"

"Are you angry Zaku?"

Nanashi looked around in shock as the voice reverberated through the quiet room, "Who's there? What's going on?"

"I can feel the hatred in you as we speak Zaku… What if I could tell you that I know who ruined your brilliant plans and could give you the power to deal with them?"

Nanashi clenched his fists in anger, "What do you want from me?"

A dark chuckle cut through the space, "Kukukuku, Zaku-kun I don't want anything but for you to get your revenge… Now do you accept?"

Nanashi narrowed his eyes, "Yes, do whatever you have to, I want my revenge on the bastards that did this to me."

"Excellent Zaku-kun… A wise choice. Kukukuku…"

**End chapter… I'm busy but I had to finish this to settle myself down… now I need to go find ten sources for my research paper by tomorrow. Review and let me know how I'm doing, your opinion matters… If your thoughts are any good then I'll profile and publicly respond to you next chapter, it's the least I can do.**

**Later days… Kenchi out.**


	12. ProfessionalPersonal

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… *sigh* believe it… God I hate myself for saying that… Enjoy the chapter, I'm going to go do Kenchi stuff and repent my manliness for spouting off that half-baked, half-assed catchphrase that never even got off the ground.

**Chapter 12: Professional/Personal**

Naruto woke up with a weight on his chest… again. Upon opening his eyes he scanned the ceiling, 'Okay, holes from the time I kept throwing my knife into the ceiling, that was awesome.' Naruto turned to his side, 'It looks like my room, smells like my room… yep, it's my room.'

Naruto peered down to see a girl with dark blue hair on his chest, deducing it to be Hinata from last night. Naruto sighed and spoke softly, "What is it with girls coming to sleep ON me in the middle of the night… And why the hell can't I tell when they do it? Some attentive professional I am."

Naruto looked around the room before finding a pillow sitting on a chair in his corner. Naruto flew through a few handsigns before a poof signified him switching places with said pillow. Naruto stood out of the chair and scratched his head as he saw Hinata grasp the pillow tightly, "Not a log, but it sure got the job done."

Naruto left to the living room to turn on the TV. As he flipped through the channel and stopped on the morning news a grin broke out on his face as footage of the wreckage from Naruto and Sasuke's escapade the previous night made itself onto the screen. Naruto sat watching the fruits of his labor until a knock came at his door. Naruto yawned and stood to answer it.

Upon opening the door Naruto felt his courage drop to the floor. Hiashi Hyuuga, being accompanied by Neji had been revealed, cold, piercing gaze included, 'Fuck.'

Naruto stood at the door looking sheepish until Hiashi spoke, "It appears that my daughter is here with you Uzumaki." Naruto nodded, not trusting his voice. Hiashi continued, "Might I ask why that is? Might I ask why my daughter is in your dwelling instead of at our home?"

Naruto gulped, 'Damn it! Why are all of my friend's parents so frigggin' perceptive and hawk-eyed when it comes to their daughters?' Naruto cleared his throat, "If I told you that I hit the couch and she took the bed for the night would that stop you from flaying me alive?"

Hiashi's eyes only narrowed, "For your sakes boy that better be the only option that you could end up telling me."

Naruto moved out of the way, "She's in my bedroom down the hall, you can go see if you want, I was out here so I don't know what you'll find." On the inside Naruto was screaming, 'Don't call my bluff, don't call my bluff, don't call my bluff!'

Hiashi looked past Naruto and saw Hinata sleeping in his room. Hiashi looked back at the boy, "Why is she here?"

Naruto stood straight and met his gaze, "Some stuff went down yesterday after we left downtown and we got attacked. Neji ended up taking Hanabi home and I took Hinata here seeing as how it's my job to protect her anyway."

Hiashi nodded in understanding and prompted Naruto to continue, "In addition to securing Hinata I enlisted the services or a partner to neutralize the threat entirely."

Hiashi's face shifted, "Neutralize the threat?"

Naruto grinned, "Have you seen the news this morning sir?" Naruto's eyes darted to the TV in the background and Hiashi saw shots of a building in ruins, Neji who was behind his just smirked.

Hiashi looked down at the teenage blonde, "You did that? To the people that tried to harm my daughter?"

Naruto looked at the look on Neji's face and chuckled, "Yes, yes I did. And Neji helped out too."

Hiashi's eyes widened, "Neji helped you do that?"

Naruto nodded, "He was there, ask him." 'Although he was more of a role player than anything.'

Hiashi schooled his features and coughed to regain his composure, "Well… Good work. It seems hiring you was not such a waste after all Uzumaki."

Naruto fake bowed with a grin, "You get what you pay for sir, and you just so happened to pay for the best."

Hiashi knew Naruto was messing with him somewhat, but if the blonde was lying he could get the details from Neji later. Hiashi turned and gave Naruto one last look, "I expect Hinata home no later than this afternoon."

Naruto snapped off a salute, "Yes Hiashi-sama, I will have her home as soon as she awakens and gets herself together." Hiashi walked away with Neji in tow and left Naruto's field of vision. Naruto shut the door and gestured kicking dirt back at the door, "Fucking uptight prick… 'It seems hiring you was not such a waste after all Uzumaki.' Douchebag."

Naruto flopped back on the couch and kept flipping through channels, "Fucking Saturday morning slump… Even the cartoons suck. What happened to all of the kick-ass Saturday morning cartoons when I was a kid… *sigh* Good times."

Naruto heard footsteps coming from the hall as Hinata walked in rubbing her eyes, "Good morning Uzumaki-kun."

Naruto looked back at her and smiled, "Good morning princess. Sleep well?" Hinata yawned and nodded, "Yes thank you for letting me stay Uzumaki-kun."

Naruto frowned at the proper way she used his surname, "Princess what did I say about calling me Uzumaki? You know me well enough to say my name, you slept in my house, in my bed… with me for Kami's sake."

Hinata hurriedly bowed, "Yes, gomen Naruto-kun."

Naruto waved it off, "Nevermind… You can go ahead and take a shower so I can take you home. Your dad came and told me to have you back there soon."

Hinata went red-faced, "O-Otousama was h-here?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, but I bullshitted him into thinking I slept on the couch so it's all good." Naruto stood and cracked some joints, "Alright then, now that that is all settled I am going to go get my paycheck! You go shower and wash up while I go and collect that sweet, sweet wampum. All the stuff is easy to find so have at it."

Hinata went to get shower things while Naruto grabbed his keys and went to the door.

XxX

Naruto arrived at Sasuke's house swiftly following collecting his pay and knocked on the front door. After a short wait the door was opened by a beautiful woman with dark hair and dark eyes who greeted Naruto with a pleasant smile, "Hello Naruto-kun how are you today."

Naruto couldn't help but to break out into a grin, 'I always did like Sasuke's mother, such a nice lady for being so rich.' Naruto spoke up, "Deputy- I mean Sasuke did me solid the other day and I mean to reimburse him."

Mikoto moved to let Naruto inside, "He's in the backyard with Itachi right now, come on in."

Naruto jogged inside to the back, "Thank you Mikoto-kaasan, I'm in a rush, I've got business to attend to back at my place."

Naruto made his way through the sizeable dwelling area of the Uchiha family and reached the backyard just in time to see Sasuke flying awkwardly in his direction landing at his feet. Naruto grinned as Sasuke groaned from the ground, "Deputy, just the man I came to see… Still having trouble with Itachi I see."

Sasuke huffed as he picked himself up off of the ground into a sitting position, "Bite me idiot. What do you need?"

Naruto pulled out a roll of bills and dropped it at Sasuke's feet. Sasuke opened it and flipped through the bills, eyes widening as he finished, "Wow… You're giving me all of this?"

Naruto nodded, "You helped out a bunch last night, that and Itachi is beating the piss out of you… probably because he knows you jacked his shit yesterday."

Itachi called out in a monotone voice, "Ah Naruto-kun it's good to see you again. Would you like to spar for a moment seeing as how Sasuke is resting?"

Naruto laughed nervously as he backed off slightly, "Ah no can do Itachi. I've got to go home now, I left someone there."

Itachi nodded, "I see, well then, another time. Sasuke, get back over here, since you like my gadgets so much I feel that I must teach you how to rely on one's _own_ self."

Sasuke groaned as he pocketed the cash and stood back up, dusting himself off, "Well that's my cue… Hey, who is over your house?" Naruto looked up at the sun, "Hinata. She wanted to stay over last night after our sideway shenanigans and I let her. I left like thirty or forty minutes ago while she got ready."

Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, "Is that a good idea? To just leave her alone like that?" Naruto waved it off, "Meh nobody but Hiashi knows she's over there, it's cool."

Sasuke shook his head, "That's what I'm afraid of Naruto… That no one knows she's over there."

Naruto looked confused, "What? You're babbling now."

"Sasuke!" The two boys turned their attention to Itachi as he spoke firmly, "I'm not done with my lesson yet otouto, please… let us continue."

Naruto and Sasuke sweat-dropped as Sasuke trudged back to Itachi. Naruto's eye-twitched as sounds of the ass-whupping commenced, "Wow… I'm really feeling that brotherly love right now. Damn Itachi, uncalled for."

Naruto cringed and left the brothers to their tortu- err training.

"Oh come on Itachi! That doesn't even go that way!"

"Well my laptop doesn't _go_ into your bag now does it?"

XxX

Kyuubi was bored, hella-bored. Over the past few months when Kyuubi was bored, she would go mess with Naruto, but seeing as how he hadn't been available for the entire week she hadn't seen him in forever. But on this occasion old habits die hard, as evidence of the fact that Kyuubi had made her way to Naruto's apartment.

As she topped the stairs she pulled out the key Naruto had given her in case he needed her to house-sit for long missions, 'Well, a week counts as a long mission right? And seeing as how he only shows his face in school I doubt he's here during the weekend.'

The door clicked open as Kyuubi stepped inside and shut the door before looking around the apartment. She heard the shower as a smile found its way to her lips, 'He's here I see.'

Kyuubi sat on the couch patiently as she flipped on the TV and began playing with her Kitsune-bi while waiting. As the shower stopped her attention shot to the bathroom door. After a moment the door opened as a girl wrapped in a towel stepped out while drying her face and hair with another towel, "Naruto-kun do you have any girl clothes I wonder, or do I have to wear my things from yesterday home?"

Kyuubi went slack-jawed as the girl finished drying her head and the two made eye-contact.

The two just stared at one another for a long while, blinking randomly, but still staring. Kyuubi's mind was running a mile-a-minute, 'Who is this Why is she in Naruto's shower? Wait, she said clothes from yesterday… she stayed here last night! With him!'

Hinata shifted uncomfortably under the red-haired girl's gaze, "Ano, who are you?"

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes slightly, "I'm Kyuubi Yoko, and you are?"

Hinata wrapped the towel around her head, "I am Hinata Hyuuga, why are you here?"

Kyuubi scoffed, "Why am I here? Why are you here? What are you doing in Naruto's house?"

Hinata sat on a couch in another part of the room, "Naruto let me stay with him last night and he let me take a shower here today." Hinata narrowed her own eyes waiting in response, 'Who is this girl? Why is she so upset about me being in Naruto-kun's house?'

Now Kyuubi had no idea that Naruto had a mission of the escort variety, and that said mission required him to keep watch over Hinata. She also had no clue about the events that had transpired the other day seeing as how she doesn't watch the news due to it being "totally fucking boring," but that probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. She was pissed, very pissed. She hadn't staken her claim on Naruto yet, but she would be damned if someone took her shot away from her. On the flipside, that idiot had been flirting from day one and now he just goes and hooks up with this random girl? Naruto was a dead man as far as she was concerned.

But of course for Naruto, as Murphy's Law would have it, his insufferable devil's luck screwed him over once again.

The attention of both women was diverted as the door clicked open, "Yo princess I'm making omelets, I didn't know what kind of cheese you like so I got Kraft AND Velveeta."

Kyuubi took this time to flick a blue fireball from her hand right at the unlucky blonde mercenary. Hinata's eyes widened as the flames burst around his body. As the body hit the floor Kyuubi called the flames off only to find the charred remains of a log on the ground.

"That was highly unnecessary Kyuubi-chan, if you didn't like my selection of cheeses then you shouldn't take it out on the log."

The girls turned their attention to Naruto's kitchen island where he stood unpacking his groceries, "The log would never hurt you, the log only exists to protect you and keep you safe from harm. Do not harm the log, that my dear is a very ungrateful mindset, the log didn't appreciate that. You should repent when you get a chance."

Kyuubi glared at the boy, "Where the hell have you been you asshole? You disappear for a week and no one sees hide nor hair of you unless you're at school, and even then you skip right at lunch!"

Naruto sighed and looked up, "I've been on the job Kyuubi-chan, I told you I'd have some extended missions. This isn't even that long compared to some others."

Kyuubi growled, "And then when I finally find your ass I catch some random girl in your house. In your shower!" A thought came to her mind, "Did she sleep in your bed?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Possibly…"

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes, "With you?"

Now Naruto is not a dumb person, far from it actually. It has been shown that when Naruto actually gives a flying fuck about something he can be quite observant and dare I say even show flashes of genius when the topic is on something he is somewhat schooled on.

Social situation are not one his more learned strong suits, one could say it was his Achilles heel if anything.

This in reality is not his fault… totally. Now being an orphan, not having any parents or any guardians while growing up stunted him in his development in many ways. An innate inability to read social situations is the most glaring one. While it could be argued that one could learn this from watching cable TV, Naruto hadn't really owned any form of cable TV until Sasuke beat it into him one year prior to our current development after one time he came over to stay for a prolonged period of time, and even then Naruto still does not pay for his own cable, instead choosing to steal it from the elderly man living under him.

When asked why he never chose to purchase cable in the past Naruto simply replied, "Cable is for pussies that can't milk any entertainment out of their everyday lives." And also, "Cable costs 2500 ryo a month. I don't spend that much money on food, clothes or hookers so what the fuck makes you think I'd spend that much on something that I can just steal from several different people around me?"

However I digress from my original point. Now due to his lack of learned social information, anything his friends, I.E. the majority of the mercs he hangs around, told him about things, he usually accepted for the most part while growing up. Especially the credo bestowed upon him by his dear neechan Rin, "Honesty is the best policy."

In reality, Rin told the young and impressionable Naruto this in an effort to get him to cough up the location of Kakashi and Obito's sizeable stashes of Icha Icha. However this one-shot deal ended up affecting him more than she would have hoped.

Now Naruto was still for the most part a pathological liar, and when he turned on the heat he could bullshit his way out of a Supreme Court case hearing, however once again a glaring weakness makes itself known here, he cannot bring himself to lie to a woman close to him face-to-face. This is due to the limited amount of contact he usually had gotten from the fairer sex and how kind they were for the most part around him when they chose to interact with him; Rin, Haku, Shizune, Mikoto, hell even Hinata and Kyuubi, all of them. He simply could not lie to them, it just wasn't in him.

And this, my dear readers is why on this day Naruto most epically fails.

Naruto scratched his head, "If I say what you want me to say then will I live to see the sunset today?"

Kyuubi growled as she channeled a small amount of youki to her eyes to make them slitted and glowing, "It depends on if it's the truth or not Na-ru-to…"

Naruto looked at Hinata who just shrugged. Naruto opened his mouth just as his cell phone began to ring. Naruto almost broke down in grateful tears, 'Thank you Kami! I knew you wouldn't leave me hanging like this, I can always count on you!'

Naruto grinned as he reached for his phone sitting on the counter, "I've got to take that, probably work-related, sorry."

Kyuubi flashed over and swiped the phone before sending the call straight to message, "You'll call them back… maybe."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Even if I said no, you would still think I was lying and beat the shit out of me regardless so it really doesn't matter what I say does it?"

Another thing no one ever taught Naruto growing up was that as a man, you could never win an argument with a female… ever… no matter what… even if you _were_ right.

Kyuubi kept an even tone, "Well then don't lie and I might believe you."

Naruto sweat-dropped, 'That was damn redundant.'

Naruto mentally screamed, 'Gah! I might as well just cut my losses and take my licks. I have a feeling the longer I put this off the worse it will be. It's like pulling off a band-aid, only the band-aid is a chick… with retractable claws… and super-strength… and fire… and a shit-load of free time.'

Naruto sighed and looked Kyuubi dead in the eye. As he opened his mouth he turned and sprinted to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door. Hinata and Kyuubi just blinked as they watched the ongoing scene, "Seriously? A de facto grown-ass man just ran to his room and locked the door like he was six years old."

Kyuubi sighed and turned to Hinata, "Okay, can you answer me? Did you or did you not sleep with Naruto?"

Hinata blushed, "Define 'sleeping with him.'"

Kyuubi kept a blank face as she stood and walked down the hallway. Hinata heard a loud smashing noise followed by a girlish scream and thrashing noises.

"Kyuubi-chan nooooo!"

"Sleep with her huh?"

"What? Ahh NOO!"

"Shut up you jerk! You really did!"

"Kami let go! …Define 'sleeping with her.' OH NO STOP!"

"Bastard."

"*whimper* I'm just a boy…. I'm just a boy."

Hinata stood and walked into the room where she found the door kicked in and on the bed. Naruto was face-first on the ground with Kyuubi trapping his arms at an awkward angle and pulling him back by the neck. Naruto strangled out a cry, "I should have never taught you submission wrestling!" 'It seemed like a good idea at the time, and so many weird positions made it awesome! …Not so much right now.'

Hinata desperately tried to diffuse the situation, "Please Kyuubi-san, Naruto-kun just slept in the same bed as me last night! This is my fault, please just let him go!"

Kyuubi looked up, "Who are you? Why does he know you, I didn't even meet you until today."

Naruto, from his compromising position, choked out his explanation, "I'm *ack* her bodyguard. *cough*"

Hinata saw her loosen up her grip as he carried on, "After he saved me from being sold off yesterday I was too scared to walk home so I asked if I could stay with him. He tried to take the couch but I wouldn't let him so he slept in the same bed as me. We didn't do anything."

Kyuubi looked at the boy turning purple in her grip and dropped him with a thud, "*sigh* You are so stupid Naruto… Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Naruto crawled away and answered in a rough voice, "You didn't ask. *cough* My job is on a need to know basis you know that, and you didn't need to know… It's supposed to be safer that way but as I can see that was a load of bullshit… This is why I wanted a cover."

Hinata helped Naruto to his feet. Kyuubi watched with an appraising eye, "What is Naruto to you Hinata?"

Hinata set Naruto on the bed and turned to face Kyuubi, "I don't know. He's the nicest person I've ever met, but that could be a part of his job."

Naruto grinned at her foxily, "Nope, that's all me baby. I'm just a damn pleasant person to be around."

Kyuubi nodded, "Yep, he's like a stray puppy. All scraggly and dirty, but he's so nice and loyal it's cute enough to endear him to you."

Naruto glared, "Yep, loyal enough to let crazy red-heads beat my ass."

Kyuubi chirped positively, "Yep! It's why I keep you around after all."

Naruto palmed his forehead, "What a 180 of a mood swing…"

Naruto stood up and Hinata remembered something, "Naruto-kun do you have any girl clothes that I can borrow or do I have to wear yesterday's clothes home?"

Naruto snorted, "Why would I have girl clothes? I'm a dude! I live alone and I don't have a sister."

Hinata frowned, "Well the way your girlfriend was acting and how she got in I assumed she would have something over here."

Naruto opened his mouth to respond before Kyuubi cut him off, "Oh yeah! I do have some things over here! Come here and you can pick something."

Naruto's eye twitched as the girls went into his closet and found a bag with clothes in it, "Why the hell do I have your clothes in my house Kyuubi-chan."

Kyuubi looked at him sheepishly, "Well I figured, you have all this room and you live alone. I could store some stuff here for a rainy day."

Naruto walked out of the room grumbling, "Taking up space in my house, kicking my door down, being all crazy… hell, I'm not even getting any!"

Kyuubi giggled as Hinata and her went through the bag before Kyuubi spoke up, "So you never answered my question. What is Naruto to you?"

Hinata smiled softly as she pulled up a white blouse, "I wasn't sure at first. But now I think of him as a close friend, he's so kind and he listens to me, he's fun to be around. I enjoy his company. Yes, he is a friend, and nothing more. Besides…" Hinata smirked mischievously, "I would never take the property of another girl."

Kyuubi shot a wide-eyed look at Hinata who kept her smirk on her face, "W-What? Naruto! My p-p-property?"

Hinata nodded, "Yes I believe you've made that abundantly clear today. So now I'll ask you… what is Naruto to you?"

Kyuubi absentmindedly rubbed her arm, "I don't know really… At first he was my friend, my best friend. But I want more than that, and he does too actually, he actually said he could wait for me for as long as I needed. He's an idiot, but he's genuine. He's brash and loud, but he's a good person. I feel as if I know him better than anyone in just only four months. H-He is precious to me."

Kyuubi hugged herself as Hinata began to dress herself in a white blouse and a purple skirt, "When I saw you come from his shower it hurt… it hurt so badly. I thought he had finally gotten sick of waiting on me and chose you. And that's when I knew it. Naruto is the one that I want, if he was important enough that just thinking of you or anyone else in his bed with him besides me made me just flip out like that, then I must be pretty far gone huh?"

Hinata smiled and patted the girl on the shoulder, "Well then you just have to tell him then don't you?"

Kyuubi looked up at the girl before Naruto cursed loudly and yelled from the kitchen, "Yo princess! That call was Neji, he's coming to pick you up and he got all pissy because I sent him straight to the answering machine!"

Hinata giggled, "So what did you do?"

Naruto grinned as he saw he coming back fully dresses, "Oh nothing but tear him apart verbally with a tirade laden with innuendo of a graphic nature involving you, me, and every viable flat surface in my house up to, and including the wall, kitchen counter, and the TV set."

Hinata blushed deeply as Naruto laughed, "Well if a description got you going that much then I'll bet actually recalling what I said word for word would get steam coming out of your ears."

Hinata pouted which just made Naruto laugh even harder, "Aww… you're so cute princess! That mad face is absolutely priceless! I just want to hug you!"

As the laughter rang out through the apartment Kyuubi still sat in Naruto's closet as a smile came to her face, 'For better or for worse, I can't think of anyone else I would rather have. Naruto-_kun_.'

XxX

Naruto sauntered back inside his apartment and kicked the door shut with the back of his foot. He had just taken Hinata down to the car waiting to take her home. In an effort to tease Neji she left Naruto with a parting kiss on the cheek. While it might not seem like much it left Neji a twitching, glaring mess as the car pulled off.

Naruto sat on the couch and turned the TV off. Hearing footsteps behind him he sighed and motioned for Kyuubi to sit next to him, "So are we going to talk about this or what? Because this morning wasn't cool."

Kyuubi blushed and looked away. Naruto rolled his eyes and grabbed her chin, turning it to make her face him, "Look at me. My job may require me to spend a certain amount of time with people, with women. Princess was my client okay? Sometimes I'll have to live with my clients, or they'll have to live with me." Kyuubi nodded.

Naruto smiled, "Good. Now do you want to tell me why it made you so mad? I already know, I just want to hear it from you first."

Kyuubi pulled on her shirt and looked down, "You already know don't you? So why make me tell you?"

Naruto chuckled, "So we can actually make something of it. Or are we just going to be stumbling through the dark with each other bumping into stuff forever? Because that's what happened today, we tripped over a fucking coffee table in the dark."

Kyuubi giggled at the remark, "Okay, so what am I to you Naruto?"

Naruto looked into her eyes and didn't hesitate, "I'm whatever you want me to be. If you want to date me then that would be great, I would love nothing more than to be that way with you. But if you just want me to stay friends with you then I can do that too Kyuubi-chan. Whatever we are, at this point it's up to you, just like I said."

Kyuubi smiled and moved into his lap, "Well that's good Naruto-kun, because after today I really don't feel like being scared the way I was again." Kyuubi bit Naruto on his neck eliciting a yelp from him, "You belong to me now." Kyuubi pulled Naruto into a kiss.

After a moment they separated for air as Naruto smiled down at a flustered Kyuubi, "You know I don't think I'll have any problems with that."

As Naruto moved back in Kyuubi put a finger to his lips, "You do know that if you do lose a few more brain cells and come to the conclusion that cheating on me is a good idea then me killing you would be the least of your worries right?"

Naruto grinned, "I'm not as dumb as everybody thinks I am Kyuubi-chan."

Kyuubi smirked up at him, "Sometimes I'm not sure."

As the two moved back to their kiss a noise broke them from their reverie.

"Sasuke-kun come with us today! It'll be fun!"

"What do you mean us forehead? He's coming with me."

"Troublesome, I can't believe we followed you all the way here."

A click signified the opening of Naruto's door. Sasuke, a very perturbed Sasuke, walked in followed closely by Sakura, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, and Kiba. As they filed in Shikamaru noticed a black log on the floor, "Why is there a charred log on the floor?"

Naruto's eye twitched, "I've got a better one. Why the fuck are you all in my house?"

Sasuke sat down on a couch across the room before getting flanked by Ino and Sakura, "*sigh* I was going over here to see if you were free so we could do something, but apparently my evasion and escape skills need a lot of work as you can see."

Naruto looked at the now full apartment and at the girl in his lap, who was also looking none too pleased, 'Did I just get cock-blocked by six different people?'

Kyuubi growled, "Who said you could all come into Naruto-kun's house!"

Sakura looked up from Sasuke at the girl, "This is where Sasuke-kun went. Why wouldn't we be here too?"

Naruto palmed his forehead, "He's here because I gave him a fucking key! Because nobody comes here!"

Sasuke nodded, "It's true, I always hide here. I might as well help him pay rent for as much as I hide here."

Ino noticed the intimate positioning of Naruto and Kyuubi, "What are you two doing?"

Naruto and Kyuubi smirked as Naruto pulled her close, "Well we were macking on the couch until the unwelcome interruption. From there, who knows what might have happened."

Kyuubi scoffed, "Oh please, with your track record you probably would have fucked it up before you got me to your bed."

Ino and Sakura went red-faced while Kiba broke out into a grin, "Go Naruto! I knew you had it in you!"

Naruto waved him off as Sasuke gave him an amused look, "How long has this been going on?" Naruto stroked his chin, "Fifteen to twenty minutes I'd say. Kyuubi-chan?" Kyuubi took on a pondering look, "That sounds about right." Kyuubi pulled him in for a quick kiss.

Sasuke chuckled, "Well that's quite a twenty-four hour stretch for you huh Naruto?"

Naruto set Kyuubi on the other side of the couch, much to her disappointment, and stood up, "Okay all of you that don't have keys to my house or weren't invited in, I'm leaving. Now I'm not saying you've got to go home, but you've got to get the fuck up out of here!"

The group stood up and filed out of the apartment as Sasuke, Naruto, Kyuubi began walking down the street, the last two with arms linked. Naruto looked over at Sasuke, "So deputy, what are we getting into today?"

Sasuke rubbed his temple, "You know I had a rough idea of what we were going to do, but our new hanger-ons have thrown that plan out." Behind them Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Ino, and Sakura followed closely behind.

Sakura bounded up and tried to latch onto Sasuke's arm, "Sasuke-kun where are we going?"

Sasuke sweat-dropped, "Uh, ask Naruto."

Naruto scoffed, "Don't pass the buck to me deputy. It was your bright idea to go outside today. I could have had a nice pleasant day inside with my new girl, but you just had to lead a shit-load of people inside my house."

Ino walked up to yell at Naruto, "Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that Naruto!"

Naruto smirked, "Why? Sasuke knows he fucked up today. You are designated 'c-blocker' for the day."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "C-blocker? …Oh! C-blocker! My bad…"

Sakura looked confused, "C-blocker?" Kiba chuckled as he came up and whispered in her ear. Sakura's face became enraged as she cocked her fist back, "Naruto! You pervert!"

A glare and a dark growl from Kyuubi ended that chain of events, "Do not think you can just hit my boyfriend whenever you please. If I think he did or said something stupid then I'll do something about it. Get your own human punching-bag."

Naruto grinned, "Yeah, I've already been broken in by Kyuubi-chan!"

Kyuubi smiled and pinched his cheek, "Yes you have, I'm so glad you know that already!"

Sasuke shook his head as he looked at all of the people with them, "Maybe this whole thing won't be so bad after all…"

"Sasuke-kun do you want to see a movie with me tonight?"

"Forehead, Sasuke-kun would rather go with me. At least I'd make it _interesting_ for him."

Sasuke sighed, "Why did I let them come again?"

**And that's game. Exam week is rolling by smoothly for the most part and my last one is tomorrow. After next week I can start kicking my training into high gear and really prepare for future professional fights! I HATE college so much. It is only slightly better than high school because if you fight asshole people then you MIGHT not get in trouble. **

**Paying bail does suck though… oh well.**

**Get your read on, get your review on, and I'll get my public respond on next chapter, which shouldn't take too long. Between this and Fullmetal Shinobi, my other story, I feel like a boss so both will be kept up for as long as I can.**

**Kenchi out, stay in school… unless you don't feel like it.**


	13. Studying Abroad

Review Shoutouts

**FANATIC1229: I don't know if I will. It seems like something harder to pull off cleanly in a modern situation, but never say never. It's still too early to tell, but I might, don't count on it though this is only my second story ever and I still think I suck.**

**snipa: Everybody loves Itachi. I see a lot of potential for comedy from Itachi's naturally dry outlook on things and usually monotone speaking voice.**

**Elemental Dragon Swordsman: Yes… yes it would. Having roommates interrupt your game-spitting time is perhaps one of the most infuriating things that could possibly ever happen. It usually isn't really their fault, I mean how could they know, but it still pisses you off… Even more so when six motherfuckers walk up inside like nothing was going on, pain in the ass. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto still does. If I did you could bet your ass I wouldn't be doing this shit in my spare time. I'd be counting my duckets.

**Chapter 13: Studying Abroad**

Kiba had a massive grin on his face as he looked at the four cards in his hands. He let a little chuckle escape his lips as he shook his head, "Well then Naruto. Come on and let's do this."

Shikamaru yawned from his classroom seat with a great view of the current game as he sat next to Chouji, "Kiba how much money do you have to lose before you learn your lesson?" Choji hummed in agreement while eating his bag of chips.

Kiba growled, "We still have five minutes before class starts! If I keep challenging him to double-or-nothing games he'll cough my cash back up faster!" Naruto chuckled as he fingered the cards laying on the table, only a jack of spades facing up with the other card face down. Naruto and Kiba had been playing blackjack for the better part of thirty minutes waiting for the first class of the day to begin.

Unfortunately for Kiba, Kyuubi and Sasuke had left the room soon after they had shown up with Naruto for their own reasons. This is unfortunate for Kiba because that left no one that knew Naruto well enough to tell Kiba that in a test of gambling Naruto's damn devil luck would always win out.

After starting out at 10 ryo Kiba's frustration had built and built and built until he ended up doubling the bets repeatedly, hiking up his debt to 748 ryo… and still climbing.

Naruto scratched his nose, "You are going to pay me back when we finish here, even if I have to find your house and rob you myself, and trust me I am more than capable of doing that and getting away with it."

Kiba growled, "Hit or stay asshole?"

Naruto grinned and flipped his second card over, "21 from the deal. Blackjack inu-teme."

Kiba cried out in anguish as he threw his cards and smashed his head against the desk just as Kyuubi walked into the classroom followed by Ino and Sakura. As she made her way to the normal three boys and the crying dog tamer she sat on Naruto's lap, "Why is Kiba crying, and do I even want to know in the first place?"

Naruto snickered, "He thought he could win some money off of me with a few games of blackjack."

Kyuubi finished for him, "And you ended up emptying his wallet." Naruto nodded as Kyuubi huffed, "Stop gambling with people, it's not fair. It's like you have some fail safe that never lets you lose petty bets or anything."

Naruto nuzzled the crook of Kyuubi's neck, taking in her scent, "Hey he brought it on himself, he could've quit whenever he wanted."

Kyuubi tried keeping a stern face, but when someone is trying to tickle your neck with their nose it kind of kills your serious look. Kyuubi tried to frown but a grin broke out on her face as she lightly swatted him on the head, "I'm trying to reprimand you damn it. Don't mess with my scowl like that."

Ino and Sakura shook their heads when Ino spoke up, "You guys really seem way more in tune than you should after three weeks. Where is Sasuke-kun by the way?"

Naruto and Kyuubi frowned as they looked over at Ino and spoke in unison, "How should we know? What are we his retainers?"

Ino blinked in surprise as she heard them speak in tandem, "And that just proved my point. Why are you two so in synch like that?"

Kyuubi and Naruto looked at each other and then back to Ino, "Me and Naruto-kun spend a lot of time together. We did before you all knew we were together, there isn't anyone my age closer to me than him and the same goes for him."

Naruto nodded as Sakura sighed wistfully, "I wish I could be like that with Sasuke-kun. I know no one knows more about him than me."

Ino got in her face, "Dream on Forehead, I know Sasuke-kun better than he knows himself! You don't know the first thing about him!"

Kyuubi and Naruto both snickered as the two girls turned to them looking irate, "What are you two laughing at?"

Naruto stifled his mirth and answered, "You both don't know a damn thing about him. Hell I bet Kyuubi-chan here knows more about him in five months than you two know after eight years."

Ino and Sakura shouted in pair, "Yeah right!"

Naruto and Kyuubi rubbed their ears, demonic enhancements suck, before Naruto shook himself out of his stupor, "Okay, what does the deputy like to eat? What's his favorite food?"

Ino grinned in victory, "Sweet rolls. Sasuke's mother makes great sweets."

Naruto chuckled, shaking his head, "Nope. As a matter of fact the deputy hates sweets for the most part." Naruto took on a confused look, "Though I don't know how you would know Sasuke's mom makes good sweets, none of you have ever even been in his house."

Ino looked at the group sheepishly, "Well we follow Sasuke-kun home sometimes and we saw his mother placing things out to cool in her kitchen through the window."

The amassed students sweat-dropped as Kyuubi pointed at them, "So… you stalk him…"

Sakura got a tick mark on her head, "It's not stalking! And how could he not like sweet things? Who could have taken them then?"

"Itachi-niisan is a sucker for sweets."

They turned to see Sasuke walking into the room to sit by Naruto and Kyuubi. As he sat and took up brooding position #1 he continued, "Itachi… I swear all that man eats is sweets. When mom isn't making stuff like that just because, Itachi always has pocky on him… always. And he never shares either, it's kind of creepy."

Kyuubi gave Sakura a smug look, "You see? You don't really know that much at all huh?"

The two girls looked from Kyuubi to Sasuke, "Sasuke-kun what's your favorite food?"

Sasuke looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he was about to answer before returning to his brooding form, "Don't worry about it."

The girls deflated as Kyuubi stuck out her tongue and held up a 'v' sign with her fingers. Ino saw this and turned her attention to Naruto and Kyuubi, "Well then what does Naruto like? Have you been around long enough to know that?"

Kyuubi giggled, "I don't even have to pay attention for that. Even if we weren't dating all you have to do is look through his cabinets once to know." Kyuubi rubbed Naruto's messy hair, "Naruto-kun here is a sucker for ramen, and I don't know why."

Naruto grumbled, "I pay for my own stuff… Food is an acquired taste so you might as well acquire a taste for cheap food. That and all of those flavors are awesome."

Kyuubi frowned, "That shit isn't good for you Naruto-kun. I wish you would eat better."

Naruto snorted, "I may be getting a decent paycheck these days, but I'm still broke as hell. I can just afford more cheap-ass stuff now. I've lived off of cheap stuff my entire life, what can I say? I'm accustomed to pinching pennies for better or for worse."

Choji cut in once the conversation switched to food, "Why don't you just go to Kyuubi's house for dinner Naruto?"

Naruto shivered with the girl on his lap, "And find myself subjected to more awkwardness from her mom and dad? No thanks, I'll take my luck with cup ramen thank you."

Iruka walked into the room just as the bell rang for class, "Alright shut up. Time to get started."

XxX

(Hein Company HQ)

Naruto walked into the building and headed straight for the desk to take a mission. Naruto slammed his hands on the desk of the now familiar secretary from whom he accepts his work, "Hello Mitsi-chan. What have you got for me today?"

The brown-haired girl opened her desk and went to missions Naruto was eligible for, "How do you feel about a longer mission?"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "By long you mean longer than a week?" Mitsi smiled, "By long I mean longer than a month."

Naruto ran his fingers through his hair, "A month? Damn… Am I going alone?"

Mitsi shook her head, "No you'll have two others as back-up. You'll all leave and return together and you all work on transportation together."

Naruto thought for a moment, "I can't take someone with me can I?"

Mitsi gave him a dry look, "It's a job Naruto, of course you can't take someone with you, you know that."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Who am I going with then?"

Mitsi smirked at him, "Accept the mission and I'll tell you, if you take it you'd be the last to join the team anyway."

Naruto thought on it for a moment, "Fine, why not. Let's do this, sign me on. When do we leave?"

Mitsi smiled and threw him the scroll, "Read and find out. Later Naruto." The girl went back to her own work after marking down Naruto as a participant in the mission.

Naruto pocketed the scroll and walked to the recreation room. After finding a free seat he plopped down and pulled out the mission orders. As he read over the orders and looked at the listing of his team he only had one thought, 'Not Rock Lee, not Rock Lee, not Rock Lee-…'

**Mission: N/A**

**Rate of Pay: 200,000 ryo**

**Assigned Operatives: Rin Hatake, Anko Mitarashi, _**

**Mission Specifics: Travel to Sunagakure and meet with your contact. True mission parameters will be divulged upon meeting.**

**Contact Point: Main Government Building. Sunagakure no Sato, Kaze no Kuni.**

**Commencement: 1/14**

Naruto widened his eyes upon reading his orders, 'Looks like I stumbled across something pretty big. This isn't anything like the little pitter-patter missions I've been getting. I might be in over my head here.'

Naruto stood up and looked for the offices of the more elite ninja before finding the one he was searching for. Knocking on the door he stood waiting, 'One of them better be here damn it.'

The door opened soon thereafter to reveal Obito with his eyepatch looking out on the blonde boy, "Oh what's up little buddy?"

Obito moved to let Naruto inside, "I've got a mission with Rin-neechan and some person named Anko in a few days and it seems pretty big."

Obito choked in the bottle of water he was drinking at hearing that, "Anko as in Anko Mitarashi?" Naruto nodded and Obito chuckled, "Good luck then, but yeah this seems like something way over your skill level."

Naruto rubbed his chin in thought, "I know, do most rookies like me get missions that take them to other countries?"

Obito shook his head, "No, mostly they let kids like you just beat up thugs on those easy missions, escort rich kids around the city, and let them get their asses kicked sparring with each other and the older mercs until the upper brass thinks their ready."

Naruto puffed out his chest, "Whoever runs this show must think I'm ready then huh?"

Obito nonchalantly flipped through a magazine, "That or the boss is trying to off you."

Naruto deflated, "Hey, who is the boss anyway? I've never met him, or even heard anything about him."

Obito grinned at Naruto, "Don't worry about it right now. If the boss thinks you're high profile enough then he'll call you up to meet him directly, otherwise he'll just communicate through others."

Naruto looked at Obito expectantly, "So I take it you've met him before?" Obito nodded, "Yeah, me, Kakashi, and Rin have all seen him. Kakashi actually sees him more than anyone out of the three of us."

Obito walked over and patted the boy on his shoulder, "Don't fret kid, you'll do fine just listen to Rin and she'll get you through it alright? Now go get your shit together because you're going to be gone for a while. If you're going to get laid you better do it now kid."

Obito grinned as Naruto glared at him, "Fuck you Obito…"

Obito ruffled his hair, "Love you too brat."

XxX

In order to blow off some steam Naruto went to the gym frequented by Rock Lee for a bit with Kyuubi and Sasuke. They had met at Naruto's house with their workout gear and made their way to the gym to work out for a bit, which leads to now.

Naruto was on a mat on the ground on his knees with Kyuubi positioned under him with her legs wrapped around his torso. Now this would be considered an intimate position to most, but Naruto was actually teaching Kyuubi fighting techniques. Still it wasn't like he couldn't enjoy it.

Kyuubi huffed as she squirmed from under Naruto, "Get off of me Naruto-kun you're heavy."

Naruto grinned as he held her in place, "No can do Kyuubi-chan. You've got to get up yourself or submit me somehow. Come on, I taught you what to do to get up so do it."

Kyuubi growled and tried to bite Naruto's ear but he pulled back before she could, "You outweigh me by at least fifty pounds you jerk. That and you're way better than me, if you wanted to keep me down there's nothing I can do."

Naruto mock glared at her, "No biting woman. And I didn't waste all of that time teaching you this crap just for you to give up after a few minutes of struggling under me."

Kyuubi smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I thought you would like it if I struggled Naruto-kun. Maybe I like being under you, did you think of that?"

Naruto grinned foxily at her, "I thought you were more of the type to want to be on top sweetheart."

Kyuubi blinked, "You're right." Kyuubi let go of his neck and reached under one of his legs before pulling and shifting her hips to sweep him, ending up with her straddling him. Kyuubi smiled down on him and lowered herself closer to his face, "So I guess I can do that jiu-jitsu stuff huh? Now what Naruto-kun?"

Naruto took a breath and bucked before rolling himself and Kyuubi back to their original position. Naruto lowered himself to speak huskily in her ear, "You can't keep the master down Kyuubi-chan, you should know that."

Kyuubi giggled at the feeling of his breath on her earlobe, "Well then _master_, what should we do now?"

"How about you both get up and cool off before you make a mess on the mats, other people use them you know. If the manager had to clean up after you he'd be pissed."

Naruto and Kyuubi turned to see Sasuke standing nearby with a towel around his neck. Naruto sighed and removed himself from the girl, "You know deputy, you're really starting to make a habit out of cock-blocking you know that?"

Sasuke palmed his forehead, "You can't fuck in the middle of the gym you idiot! Are you trying to get us kicked out of here?"

Naruto stood and helped Kyuubi to her feet, "I wasn't going to fuck her… I almost was, but I thought better of it. I was just going to make out with her for a bit."

Sasuke sat down on the mat, "In public? Get some shame and get a room."

Naruto pulled Kyuubi close and held her around the waist, "Shame? What's that? Does it prevent you from having sex? Because if it is I don't want it."

Kyuubi hit him in the chest, "We weren't going to fuck, you moron. Let go, I'm going to get something to drink."

Naruto let her go as she walked off. The two remaining boys stood off from across each other as Sasuke cracked his knuckles, "So you want to spar for a bit while your chick is gone?"

Naruto set himself into a loose stance, "Come on deputy, show me your police style."

Sasuke scoffed, "Fuck you Naruto. Show me your I-can't-get-a-real-trainer style."

Naruto paused for a second, "That was mean Sasuke… We all can't have a brother to teach us how to fight… or in your case beat your ass until you can defend yourself." Naruto moved in and engaged Sasuke with some probing kicks directed to his body.

Sasuke blocked the kicks and pushed the last one away before he launched a fist that hit Naruto in the ribs. Sasuke smirked as he heard the blonde exhale and he tried an uppercut to the head that Naruto stepped back to dodge.

Naruto came back in with a jab-cross combo that was dodged. Naruto followed with a spin kick to the head that Sasuke ducked and a spinning sweep that he jumped over before kicking Naruto in the face.

Naruto rubbed the area that took the damage and looked up at his smirking opponent before squinting and pointing accusingly, "Hey asshole, no Sharingan!"

Sasuke looked taken aback, "What? Since when?"

Naruto tapped his foot in irritation, "'Since when?' Since Itachi got you to activate it during your ass-whipping all those weeks ago. You know damn well I can't keep up with it without activating the you-know-what in my system and going all feral looking in a public gym isn't really the best idea, now turn it off, or your house is getting fucked tonight."

Sasuke grumbled before his red eyes turned back to the normal onyx color he usually had, "You're no fun. How can I improve it if I don't practice with it?"

Naruto slipped back into his stance, "Get Itachi to keep beating your ass, I don't know about your Uchiha bloodline thing, take it up with your family, but that shit doesn't fly in the gym. Don't copy my style douchebag."

Sasuke chuckled as he set himself into his own stance, "You have a style? Is that what you call the spastic, coked-up chipmunk movements you use in a fight? It looks like someone having a seizure in an interpretive dance class."

Naruto flipped Sasuke the finger, "It's the best I could do with what Youtube gave me so shut it ass." Naruto ran back in throwing some easily telegraphed punches. Sasuke blocked them all and backhanded Naruto in the face.

Sasuke rushed his weakened foe and delivered a spinning dropkick to the head, "If that's the best you've got I don't even need to turn the Sharingan on to deal with you."

Naruto shook off the cobwebs, "Keep talking teme, I can take more of a beating than you can so let's do this!" Naruto charged back in and slid towards Sasuke's legs, taking the boy off guard and sending him tumbling to the ground. Naruto rolled to his feet and delivered an axe-kick.

Sasuke curled up in a ball and took the shot, cringing at Naruto's heel digging into his ribs. Naruto then started delivering a series of soccer-kicks to Sasuke's body, "Come on deputy. Get up or quit, don't make me start kicking you in the head now… Mikoto-chan wouldn't like me sending you home brain-dead."

Sasuke gritted his teeth as the kicks landed and started colliding with his head, "Don't call my mom –chan you loser." Sasuke spun around and kicked Naruto in the thigh from the ground and made his way to his feet.

Sasuke and Naruto both lunged in and punched each other in the face. The two stumbled backwards and staggered on their feet before Naruto spoke, "Do you think we're escalating this a little too much?"

Sasuke grabbed his head, "What gave you that idea? Was it the thirteen kicks to the head I just took or what? Kami we're not even wearing gloves to beat the crap out of each other."

Naruto smirked and chuckled, "Gloves are for pussies, you won't use gloves in a real fight so why would you train with them?"

Kyuubi walked back to them both shaking her head, "Did you both get your fill of beating the brain cells out of your heads or can we go now?"

Naruto and Sasuke grumbled and followed her to the exit as they spoke simultaneously, "I was going to win… You were going to win? My ass! I was gonna win!" Kyuubi slapped them both on the head as they exited.

XxX

(Three Days Later)

Naruto sat in the recreational area of Hein Company with Haku as he waited for his team for his mission to Sunagakure, "So Haku-chan… You do anything cool recently."

Haku sat looking at the TV in the room, "No Naruto-kun nothing cool for a while. Why do you ask?"

Naruto laughed, "Because maybe you should start taking missions and requesting me as a partner, because I seem to get a lot of action-y jobs to do."

Haku smiled at him, "You need more seasoning Naruto-kun, maybe when you get a few more under your belt I can ask for you as a partner."

Naruto looked insulted, "Seasoning? *scoff* I bet I can kick your ass Haku-chan."

Haku's eyes sparkled dangerously as she flashed three senbon into her hand forcing Naruto into relapse in the corner, "AHHHH It's in the bone! IT'S IN THE BONE!" Haku smiled sweetly and turned to continue watching TV.

Rin took this time to enter the room to find Naruto a huddled mess in the corner, "Okay Haku stop messing with his head, I need to take him for the mission now. You can pick away at his PTSD when we come home."

Haku giggled and kept her eyes on the TV. Rin picked Naruto up to his feet and slapped him to get him back to normal. Naruto's eyes focused on Rin as a red mark appeared on his cheek, "Rin-neechan! Is it time to go now?"

Rin nodded and led him outside, "Yes Naruto-kun. Now when we get there you need to listen to me and Anko. No matter how off she seems she's still been doing this way longer than you so you have to do what she tells you… unless I say otherwise ok?"

Naruto nodded absentmindedly, "So where is this lady? I'm ready to roll already." A knife cut Naruto across the cheek and pinned itself into the wall behind them, "What the fuck?"

A lady with purple hair, a trench coat, a mesh body suit and a brown skirt appeared behind him draped over his shoulder licking his cut, "Aww, Rin… You shouldn't talk about me when I'm not there like that. That's so mean." Naruto gave Rin a 'what the fuck' look.

Rin shrugged, "Ah Naruto this is Anko Mitarashi, our partner for this mission."

"This little brat is our back-up for a mission out of the country? Well don't worry Naru-chan, Anko will get you to man up."

Naruto blushed as Anko's sizeable 'assets' buried themselves in the back of his neck, "Naru-_chan_? Why the hell am I –_chan_?"

Anko smiled brightly, "Until you give me a reason to call you otherwise you're –chan, Naru-chan."

Naruto's eye twitched as this was how they walked to their vehicle, "Oh how fun… I can see this is going to be one long ass month." Rin gave Naruto an apologetic look, "Who knows Naruto-kun, maybe she'll grow on you?"

Anko chuckled as she snuggled into Naruto's back, "I'm sure something on our little soldier is growing right now."

Naruto gritted his teeth, "So what? I am a man, and manly men do manly things that are manly. Don't give me a reason and it won't happen." Naruto thought for a moment, "Actually let me rephrase that; don't give me a reason and it won't happen _as much_."

Rin palmed her forehead and climbed in the front seat of the car, "Alright, everybody shut up and get in the car."

Naruto and Anko yelled at once, "Shotgun!"

The two ran to the other side of the car and began fighting over the front passenger's seat. Anko eventually won out by siccing snakes from her sleeves on the blonde-haired boy, forcing him to take the back seat, "Fine, I didn't want the stupid front seat anyway. Suna's a long way away, this gives me room to stretch out and sleep."

XxX

Sasuke, Kyuubi, Ino, Sakura, Choji, Shikamaru, and Kiba found themselves sitting together at lunch. Kyuubi huffed and looked outside, "I can't believe Naruto-kun is gone for a month…"

Choji looked up from his lunch to talk, "A month? Where is he going for a month?"

Ino and Sakura smirked and spoke together, "Prison…"

Shikamaru sighed, "You two better not go around spreading that stupid rumor, troublesome…"

Kyuubi stuck her tongue out at the two girls, "He's not in prison damn it. He's supposed to be in Suna." Sasuke kicked her from under the table, tipping her off that she almost blew his cover, "…For some kind of cultural exchange thing!"

Sasuke shook his head and laid it down on the table. Kiba looked stunned, "Why is he always the one that has the cool stuff happen to him? I want to go to Suna! I heard the girls there were hot."

Shikamaru shook his head, "That's speculation and personal point of view Kiba. If anything it's called exotic."

Kiba grumbled, "I still think they're hot…"

Kyuubi straightened up, "So my Naruto is going, unsupervised I might add, to a place with hot, exotic women… for a month."

Sasuke's head shot up off of the table, "Kyuubi calm down, he's not that stupid, he couldn't be." Sasuke looked up thoughtfully, 'At least I hope he isn't that stupid. Sometimes I have to wonder.'

Ino slammed her hands on the table, "I wouldn't be surprised. Men always want more than they have. I mean look at Sasuke-kun. He could have me or Sakura but he still doesn't pick one of us."

Shikamaru put his head in his hand, "Maybe that's more of him wanting less than he has in this case…" Ino slapped him in the head, "Troublesome."

Sasuke scoffed and grumbled under his breath, "You got that right."

Kyuubi sat her chin in her hands, "I need to put a tracking device in his ass so I know where he is all the time…"

Kiba was looking away with a far-gone look in his eye, "That kid… He's going to be surrounded by fine foreign girls who've probably never seen a guy from this country before, lucky bastard."

Sasuke punched Kiba in the head, "I swear to Kami! When Naruto's gone you sure do pick up the slack for saying stupid things at the wrong time don't you?"

XxX

It hadn't taken Naruto long to fall asleep in the car. After an hour of seeing nothing but car after car pass you on the highway it gets kind of hypnotizing, so when Naruto slinked down and spread out to take a nap it really wasn't so hard to imagine.

However upon awakening the boy found it incredibly difficult to move, 'Oh what the hell now? What is it this time? Maybe I should just go back to sleep and ignore it because this shit never works out positively for me.'

Naruto opened his eyes to see Anko smiling at him, "Uh Anko? What the hell?"

Anko pushed herself off of him, "I got tired and sleeping while sitting up didn't really appeal to me."

Naruto sweat-dropped, "The chair reclines you know." Anko grinned, "I know."

Naruto looked at Rin as he sat back in a standard position, "Rin-neechan how far are we?"

Rin looked in the mirror to see him up, "We've only been driving for like two hours Naruto-kun. We're not even out of Hi no Kuni yet."

Naruto rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "Well how long could it take to get to Suna?"

Anko put a finger to her chin to think on her answer, "About a day and a half at this rate."

Naruto rubbed his temple, "How wonderful…"

Rin sighed, "Listen, I know both of you but you both don't know a damn thing about each other so why not introduce yourselves?"

Naruto shrugged, "Why not? Alright lady, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like training, fighting, music, Kyuubi-chan, and ramen. If I ever find a store that sells fresh made ramen at reasonable prices then I could die a fulfilled man. I hate waiting for my damn ramen to cook, fucking cable TV, and arrogant rich pricks."

Anko smiled, "I'm Anko Mitarashi kid. I like snakes, sharp, pointy things, fighting, dango, and red bean soup. I hate one man and one man only, my bastard of a foster father. The son-of-a-bitch… If I could somehow make his demise a personally painful and agonizing one then I could die happy too."

The two shook hands and looked around the car awkwardly.

Naruto nodded, "Well then on that note I only have one thing to say about that… Shotgun!"

Naruto climbed from the backseat to the front, much to Anko's chagrin, "Hey! You little punk, what the fuck was that?"

Naruto grinned back at her, "You coughed up front seat privileges to fuck with me in the back so I took it upon myself to relieve you of the responsibility."

Anko pouted in the back, "You started something you can't finish gaki, it's on now."

Rin got a tick mark on her head, "Both of you shut the hell up! It's like dealing with five-year olds, I don't even think you know we're on a mission right now!"

Anko and Naruto shouted over one another, "Blame her/him!"

Rin leaned on the steering wheel, "Kami I hope Suna has great aspirin…"

"Stop fucking cutting me damn it!"

"Sorry Naru-chan…"

**And that's it for now people. I have provided you with yet another chapter of terminologigrapical greatness for your reading pleasure. And I'm not sure if that's even a word, but it should be…**

**I'm gonna go do something productive now. By productive I mean something that will actually make me some motherfucking money.**

**Kenchi out.**


	14. Cutting Your Teeth

Review Shoutouts

**FANATIC1229: Yes it would be pretty hard to pull off. I'm going to steer clear of that route. And the snakes from Anko's coat are still a summon/jutsu, it's Sen'eijashu (Striking Shadow Snakes)**

**underaged: You can have a job and still be broke as fuck… trust me.**

**Elemental Dragon Swordsman: Shush son! You know I can't tell you that shiznit… trying to spoil my flow…**

**Jyuubi6: I wasn't saying terminographical. I was making a play on the word terminology, which is a fancy way to say how something is worded. Sometimes I'm too much of a smart-ass for me and my readers' own good. *Sigh* It's my curse.**

**ChaosKid0: I can't in good conscience tell you that. Read onward and learn.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I used to own two dogs, but then they ran away… Probably to Kishimoto *sniff*. I love my dogs WAHHH! Why can't I own anything I love? WHY!

**Chapter 14: Cutting Your Teeth**

"Are we there yet?"

"No Naruto-kun."

"Are we there yet?"

"No Anko we aren't."

"…Are we there now?"

"Do you see buildings yet Naruto?"

"I see a lot of things I shouldn't."

And so Rin, Anko, and Naruto had been driving to Suna for two days. Naruto had chosen to sleep in the car rather than stay in a rented motel room with Anko and Rin, mostly because of Anko. And as we join the contingent of mercenaries we find them on the outskirts of Sunagakure.

As they drove through the city Naruto was stunned by the way it looked, he had never even been outside of Konoha before let alone inside another country. The buildings were traditionally lower to the ground and made of a more weathered looking material than the buildings in Konoha. The buildings looked sturdy and well built in addition to sharing the colors of the arid environment they found themselves in.

Naruto looked on as they drove through the town, "Hey Rin-neechan, why are the entrances to the buildings sunken into the ground?"

Rin looked to see what he was referencing, "Oh, well you know how hot it is right? Well being partially sunken makes the insides of the buildings cooler, kind of like a built in A.C."

Anko chuckled at the look Naruto was giving his new environment, "Kid, Suna is a lot of sand and heat. Trust me, you'll be sick of this place by tomorrow I'm sure. I just hope our hotel room has A.C."

Naruto scoffed, "I don't care about air conditioning. I don't have it at home so why would I care if I had it here?"

Anko laughed loudly at Naruto's proclamation, "That's right, Rin turned on the air in the car the second we crossed the border. Well just wait until you get outside then gaki."

As they arrived at the hotel Naruto jumped out of the car in a hurry, "Kami, my ass is asleep!" Naruto began doing meager stretches until he started smacking his lips and pulling at his open button-up, "Why is it so hot?"

Anko rolled her eyes as she and Rin exited the car and headed inside, "Gee I don't know, maybe because we're in the middle of the desert or something?"

Naruto growled, "This is going to be a long mission…"

XxX

After dropping their stuff off in the hotel room Rin and Anko went to go get the specifics of their mission. They had told Naruto not to come, as having the client see a kid as one of the people he hired wouldn't have gone over so well. So this left Naruto to his own devices to explore and get a feel for the new city he was in, "What the hell do they expect me to do all day, watch the squiggly heat wave lines?"

Naruto had long since ditched the orange button-up short-sleeve shirt he had been wearing, leaving him in a black undershirt. Taking his skateboard out of storage he left to find a useful endeavor for the day. Walking around was starting to work on his nerves as he had yet to find anything worth wasting time on and Anko and Rin hadn't summoned him yet, "Why the hell do people have to live where it's so hot? Seriously!"

In an effort to cool off Naruto had found a convenience store and bought a soda before continuing a search for anything worthwhile. Getting sick of walking through the town he went to his old stand-by, skating through traffic, vehicular and human. Not having any hills however made this mostly him pushing every eight seconds, however this gave him decent speed anyway. Despite not being able to find anything productive to do he was having a blast making himself a nuisance to the citizens of Suna.

The blonde boy grinned to himself as he ducked from sidewalk to street, dashing through people and cars just for kicks, 'Geez the way they're looking at me you'd think they'd never seen a skateboard before.'

Cutting through the crowd of people on a sidewalk he never saw a leg stick out before he could dodge.

Naruto spilled from his board and rolled along the dusty sidewalk before coming to a stop, groaning while laying on his face, 'Alright who's the dead fuck that did that?'

Naruto slowly stood to his feet to see a boy a few years older than him smirking smugly. He had brown hair sticking out from under a black bandanna on his head and a decently large pack on his back. For some reason despite being in the desert he was wearing all black clothing.

Naruto rose to his feet, dusting himself off, "What is your problem? Do you always trip random people or do you just have some sand in your vagina today?"

The boy sneered at Naruto's vulgar insinuation, "I have a problem with annoying punks disturbing my peace, that's my problem."

Naruto walked over to his fallen skateboard and picked it back up before giving the newcomer a narrowed-eye glance, "I was just skating. If people doing things on a public street make you angry then maybe you should just stay inside huh?"

The boy chuckled, "You're not from around here are you kid?"

Naruto shrugged, "So what? Common courtesy is universal knowledge."

The boy spit on the pavement, "You know you're starting to get on my nerves kid."

Naruto put his board down and crossed his arms, "Well then do something about it. Or is tripping a guy standing on a narrow piece of wood the only way you can look tough."

Having enough of the new mystery kid, the black-clad boy dropped his pack from his back. Naruto noticed the thump it made, 'That can't be good.' "Hey are we actually going to fight out here? What about cops or something man, I really don't feel like getting tossed into a Suna prison."

He unfastened the top of the pack, "Don't you worry about that. Fighting doesn't get you anything out here, it's the way we are, it's how a lot of us settle things around here. Prison is the least of your worries, try not to die okay?"

With the pull of a rope on his pack the entire thing fell apart as a figure rose from it. Naruto took a good look at it, seemingly made of wood it resembled a three-eyed, four-armed humanoid with jagged teeth and spiky black hairstyle protruding from the top of its head and framing the sides.

Naruto raised his finger to point, "What in the sweet frosty hell is that thing?"

The Suna-boy patted the figure, "I guess a puppet is an unusual weapon. This is Karasu, my puppet outfitted for combat. And I'm Kankuro, just so you can remember the guy that kicked your ass today."

Naruto upon hearing the word 'weapon' set himself in his fighting stance, "Kankuro huh? Well after today you're gonna have to remember the name of the kid that rolled you up and smoked your ass on your own turf, Naruto Uzumaki. Now enough talk, let's see what that glorified splinter can do."

Kankuro began laughing, "You really have no clue what you're getting into do you? Why do you think the streets cleared out?"

Looking around brought attention to the fact that the second Kankuro brought out Karasu people got the hell out of dodge, even the traffic in the street, leaving the two alone on the road. Kankuro flexed his fingers forcing a chattering noise to come from his puppet, "Nobody wants any collateral damage from my puppet."

Naruto went into the pockets of his lined cargo pants only to find that he had no weapons with him, 'Fuck! I left all of my combat stuff at the hotel, I'm screwed!'

Kankuro noticed the shift in Naruto's stance, "Alright let's get this over with." And with that he sent his puppet flying at Naruto. With the cloak obscuring the body of Karasu his only first warning was a gleam from the sun. Naruto jumped into the street just in time to avoid a close shave from the blades in the puppet's arms.

Naruto gulped as Kankuro turned Karasu towards him, "Damn me and my lack of diplomacy…" Karasu opened a compartment and fired darts at Naruto who dodged and allowed the darts to hit the ground. As he dodged he noticed the liquid soaking from the blades in the ground, 'Poison… This just keeps getting better and better.'

Naruto took his chances and decided to simply attack Kankuro head on, but his use of Karasu wouldn't allow Naruto to get close as the wooden assailant relentlessly kept on the boy to keep him from getting the time to launch a head-on attack.

Naruto began getting angry at his inability to create any space, "It looks like I have to break your little tinker toy to get rid of you."

Kankuro laughed out loud, "You can try. By all means, go ahead and try to attack Karasu and see where that gets you."

Naruto smirked as his eyes became slitted, "Oh I will." He let his claws grow out and took a swing at Karasu, "Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

The wave of energy from his claws collided with the puppet, sending it flying backwards. Kankuro let surprise show on his face for a moment, "You know jutsu?"

Naruto sent a fanged grin his way, "Would I have stuck around after you pulled that frightening bastard out if I didn't?"

Kankuro nodded before sending back a grin of his own, "I think this will be pretty fun." With that being said he pulled Karasu back to his feet, chattering all the way.

When Karasu launched back in to slash at Naruto Kankuro found that Naruto's evasiveness had been heightened. After Naruto had put some distance between himself and the killer puppet once more Karasu launched a ball at him. Naruto saw the incoming projectile and formed a blue flame on his fingertips before throwing it at the orb.

Upon contact the two attacks exploded. Naruto looked over at Kankuro, "What exactly was in that thing?"

Kankuro chuckled as he brought Karasu back to his side, "More poison."

Naruto slapped his forehead, "Hey! I know you said fighting was legal in Suna, but I know flat-out _homicide_ is illegal everywhere! Stop doing stuff that can kill me!"

Before Kankuro could respond he was bashed in the head with something heavy that forced him to drop to the ground holding his noggin.

Naruto saw a girl with four blonde pigtails standing over Kankuro holding a massive fan, obviously the source of his enemy's pain. The girl had on a light colored shoulder cut dress with a red sash that stopped at her knees. Under the dress Naruto could see a mesh suit around her shoulders. It was clear to him that this girl was also older than him.

Kankuro jumped to his feet glaring at the girl, "What the hell did you go and do that for Temari?" Kankuro flinched when she made a threatening gesture with her fan again. Noting this she huffed, "You idiot, stop fighting in the street. Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

Kankuro rubbed his head, "It wasn't much of a fight… We didn't even scratch each other by the time you got here."

Temari growled at him, "That isn't the point fool." She turned her attention to Naruto across the street, "And you. Who are you anyway and why were you fighting my brother?"

Naruto lifted an eyebrow, "Your brother? That guy is your brother? No offense but he's kind of a douchebag, and you're really hot. How is that possible?"

Temari blushed but squashed that thought, "Answer the question already?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Nevermind I can see it now. I was skating down the street when this guy tripped me up for no reason. I don't let stuff like that slide and then we started to get into it and then you showed up to smack the fuck out him before it escalated."

Temari looked over at Kankuro who nodded in agreement, "Wow, how long was the fight?"

Kankuro shrugged, "I don't know, maybe five minutes or so."

Temari looked back over at Naruto, "That's kind of impressive, you fought with Kankuro for five minutes and didn't get hurt or poisoned or anything."

Naruto's eye twitched, "I'm no lightweight damn it. If I was weak I wouldn't have even fought in the first place."

Temari nodded, "So are you a merc?"

Naruto's jaw dropped, "If I was I couldn't tell you!"

Temari rolled her eyes at the foreign boy, "Relax, first of all no one else is out here but us. Second of all even if we cared about that we're mercenaries too idiot."

Kankuro chuckled, "Yeah, you think random people on the streets carry around shit like this?"

Naruto retracted his claws and turned his demonic powers off, "So are we done? Or do I have to fight you both now?"

Temari shook her head, "I came to get this idiot, we need to go get our assignment today and here he is messing with some kid."

Naruto let out a breath, "Good, because I really didn't feel like fighting two-on-one."

Kankuro waved half-heartedly and walked off as Temari followed behind, "Later kid, maybe I'll see you around sometime."

Naruto walked over to his skateboard and picked it back up, "I just keep on meeting weird people don't I?"

XxX

After his fight in the street Naruto returned to the hotel room to wait on Rin and Anko, whom he had not seen in hours. He was currently laying on a bed watching television and waiting for his wayward superiors as night fell, "Suna TV sucks worse than Konoha TV…"

The door opened to reveal his partners Rin and Anko. Anko grabbed the remote out of Naruto's hands, who did not protest, and plopped down next to him, "What's on TV gaki?"

Naruto kept his eyes glued to the screen, "Total shit." Anko began flipping through channels, snapping Naruto out of his trance, "So what are we even here for?"

Rin sat on the other bed in the room and sighed in exasperation, "They're really playing their hand close to the vest. All we learned from the meeting was where we're supposed to go for a meeting tomorrow."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "So basically this mission will consist of you two repeatedly being led around town by a paranoid douchebag while I end up gallivanting around Suna for an entire month… Good times, what a way for me to earn a paycheck."

Rin mock glared at the boy who had just gotten kicked off of the bed by Anko, "If they don't give us our real mission at tomorrow's meeting we're leaving immediately. There isn't any reason to stay here."

Naruto stood up groaning as he stretched himself back out, "No I'm fine, no one hurry over and help me too quickly now."

Anko grinned at him, "I know you're a tough kid gaki."

Rin sat cross-legged on the bed, "So Naruto-kun, I didn't see what you could do at your entrance test. What do you do? As in what skills do you have?"

Naruto walked over and sat on Rin's bed, "Well I have Kawarimi and Henge from the scrolls you gave me when I was little. I have Teppodama no Jutsu and Kage Bunshin from my birthday scroll. I'm scrappy in a hand-to-hand fight, really unpredictable. And I have some other stuff that makes me more of a direct combat kind of fighter."

Rin nodded, "Well Anko is an assassination type, more of the one-hit one-kill types." Anko waved at Naruto in confirmation, "And I'm more of a support type. I can fight if needed and I have medical ninjutsu, but I'm more or less used for diplomacy. I usually work with Kakashi-kun and Obito, because those two idiots need someone to patch them up."

Naruto stroked his chin in thought, "So in case of a direct fight I'm basically playing 'human-meat shield' while you two do… whatever it is that you do."

Anko brightly chirped, "Yep! You're our expendable little rookie! Won't that be fun?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "Yeah, fun like Hepatitis B."

Rin giggled, "Don't be like that Naruto-kun, you have us with you. We won't let you die or anything."

Naruto shook his head, "I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of getting my ass kicked and having it made public knowledge so Obito and Kakashi can fuck with me."

Anko pointed to herself smugly, "Then stick with me and listen to what I say kid, I was born for this job."

Rin narrowed her eyes, "Certain parts… When it comes to the part where you don't take the knife and stab it into the bad guy's neck you're about as skilled as a tube of toothpaste Anko."

Anko waved off Rin's comment, "Subtlety is so boring Rin-Rin. Why talk when you can beat someone up and make things go so much faster or pull out a knife and threaten them?"

Rin gave her a dry look, "Because doing things like that gets your team in over their heads…"

Naruto flopped back and landed his head in Rin's lap, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. All I hear is 'blah, blah, stab people,' and 'blah, blah, talk it out,' I'm too tired to deal with being mediator tonight."

Rin ran her fingers through Naruto's hair, "Well if you're sleepy then go ahead and go to sleep Naruto-kun. We need to get up tomorrow anyway."

Naruto yawned and shut his eyes, "Alright Rin-neechan, I'm crashing out for the night."

The peace was disturbed as Naruto found himself deposited on the floor once more, "What the hell? Rin-neechan why?"

Rin smirked at Naruto, "We're ladies Naruto-kun, we need the bed and you're too young… actually you're too old to get away with sleeping with me, you might try something perverted."

Naruto rubbed his back as he sat on the floor, "Bullshit! Where the fuck am I going to sleep then?"

He turned to Anko who had still been watching TV, "Not a chance gaki, you've got to earn the chance to sleep in my bed. You're just a green little rookie. Come back in five years why don't you?"

Naruto's eye twitched, "Fucking fantastic. You two suck you know that?" He was answered by two pillows to the face.

XxX

The next day the two elder mercenaries elected to bring Naruto with them to the contact point this time. As they entered a small diner on the outskirts of Suna Naruto's eyes widened as he saw two familiar faces sitting in a booth. He kept quiet however as Rin walked over to the man across the table from them, "Hello again Baki-san. Are we to do business today or are my team and myself to take our leave of Kaze no Kuni?"

The man, known as Baki turned his half-covered face to Rin before sighing, "This really isn't a mission I have a good feeling about. I had to ask my boss if we could go and get help with this because I didn't think my team alone could handle it, and then he sends me you two and a kid."

Naruto snorted, 'And exactly who are the ones sitting beside you? Yeah, Temari might be all woman, but hey, Kankuro is a brat like me.'

Ignoring Naruto's belligerent noise Rin kept on, "Be that as it may, in the end it's our choice to go forward. We want to get paid, we accept the mission. This is now a joint operation with Kaisha Seidou (Bronze Company) and Kaisha Hien (Flying Swallow Company)."

Baki nodded as he finished the drink at his table, "Very well. You, your older teammate and myself will go over the true nature of this assignment while our younger charges will go about their own business until we summon them to begin."

Temari and Kankuro rose from their seat and headed outside with Naruto in tow as Anko and Rin took their seats.

As they walked outside and began walking down the street Temari thought to make some conversation, "Hey, sorry about Kankuro yesterday. He's kind of thick headed and short fused."

Ignoring Kankuro's cry of protest Naruto grinned at the siblings, "It's cool. It seems that I end up with a positive relationship with tons of people after we trade blows for a while, it must be some kind of guy thing or something."

Kankuro smirked at that, "Well I hope we can count on you for this one kid. If Baki says we can't handle it alone then chances are we might be royally screwed on this one."

The three young mercenaries walked through the city in silence before Temari decided to speak up, "So, Naruto was it?" Naruto nodded signifying for her to continue, "What made you want to be a mercenary in the first place?"

Naruto chuckled, "Why did I want to be a mercenary? Because I can't sing or dance and it beats fucking working for a living."

Kankuro broke out in laughter as Temari blinked at him, "R-really? That's why you chose to do this?"

Naruto chuckled to himself before closing his eyes, "Not really… You'd probably find the reason why I do this stupid."

Kankuro's laughter died down, "Try us, you never know."

Naruto nodded and he took a deep breath, "Honestly, I saw it as my way out."

Temari and Kankuro looked confused, "Your way out? What do you mean?"

Naruto motioned for them to sit on a ledge by the sidewalk. As they sat he began to collect his thoughts, "I'm the bottom of the food chain so to speak. The lowest of the low; ghetto, low-class, orphan trash." He shook his head, "I was sick of being poor, sick of never having anything. All the kids around me lived comfortably, and even if they didn't live as well as others, it was better than me, at least they had parents that would do anything for them."

Naruto chuckled mirthlessly, "Did you know that I tried to get a job at a grocery store when I was 8? I was sick of living off of the barest of minimums, barely scraping by, I wanted to make some fucking money."

Naruto ran his hand through his hair as Kankuro and Temari were listening intently, "I had these friends man… Rin was one. They were mercs, they told me, they showed me their base, and they all looked so cool. None of them seemed hard-up for cash or anything. I saw a few of them sparring and practicing, they looked untouchable to me. I wanted that, I wanted to have a good meal whenever I wanted, to have my own cool things, to get some damn respect from someone."

Naruto looked at them seriously, "I remember how it used to be. I remember, and I swore to Kami and myself, that I would never, ever let myself go back to that again. Being a high-class mercenary seemed to be the straightest path out of poverty. After all, the social and financial ladder isn't as mobile as the people in power would have you think. Behind every great fortune is a great crime, and if I have to get my hands dirty to get a little piece of the good life, so be it."

He looked up and blocked the beating desert sun with his hand, "If you're wondering about the killing I put it like this; it's either you or me, and the way I see it, it might as well be you."

Naruto shot a lazy glance their way, "Sorry about the soliloquy there… So what about you guys? What brings you into our little slice of anarchy?"

Temari smiled, "Our father."

Naruto nodded, "Your dad wanted you to take it up huh?"

Temari laughed, "Fuck our dad. He wanted us to be his little bodyguards."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Bodyguards?"

Kankuro picked up after her, "Yeah, the asshole got us trained up right out of the cradle. He's the guy that runs this city, and he wanted us to be his perfect little soldiers. The way things are now I wonder if we should have done it…"

Temari clinched her fists, "That son-of-a-bitch… After he realized he'd failed to get us up to snuff as his little killers he ruined our little brother."

Naruto shifted on the ledge, "Ruined him? What happened?"

Temari wiped her eyes, "He did something to him while he was in our mother's womb. We don't know what, but it didn't just affect him, it weakened our mother. She died giving birth to him."

Kankuro gritted his teeth, "Our brother… Dad treated him like a leper. He never spoke to him, just worked him and worked him. He never even called him his son. And he finally got his weapon, at the cost of our brother's humanity."

Temari looked down, "He never had a friend, he never even had us. Dad kept us away from him, saying his weapon didn't have any need for us. He took Gaara with him everywhere, and he would force him to fight against his enemies and their underlings. He's been killing since he was six Naruto."

Naruto's eyes widened, he himself had gotten his first kill at ten, but that was a different story for a different time.

Kankuro spit on the ground, "He broke him kid, he fucking broke our little brother… He's a psychopath now. We finally got to see him, finally got to speak to him freely and do you know what the first thing he said to us was when we saw him?" Kankuro put his arm around Temari as she started to break down, "He looked at our dad and he asked him, 'Am I supposed to kill them too?'"

Naruto clicked his teeth, "Okay I think I want to go and kick your dad in the balls now."

Kankuro chuckled, "Us too kid. But you'd never even get close… Daddy's little weapon would crush you before you even made eye-contact with him."

Naruto scoffed, "How can he get away with that shit? That is the most inhumane thing I've heard of short of any physical abuse."

Kankuro looked at him, "Like I hinted at before, Suna doesn't really have cops. If you have a problem, you have to solve it yourself. Might makes right around here."

Temari dried her eyes, "We do this so that one day we might be able to get rid of that son-of-a-bitch ourselves… But as long as he has Gaara we never will. Heh, even if we did kill our dad, then what would Gaara do? All he knows is how to kill. He's broken Naruto, he's broken and we don't know how to fix him."

Naruto put a hand on her shoulder, "Look, I'm going to give you two my number. I may not look like it, but I'm the best there is at what I do, and what that is isn't pretty at all. If you even need my help, for anything, if you need an extra blade, or you just want to talk, call me and I'll see what I can do."

XxX

Baki, Rin, and Anko had long since left the very public diner for a more discreet locale, namely the roof of the visitors' hotel.

Baki looked out over the city, "When I said this was way over our heads I kind of meant it. This is straight assassination ladies, as simple as that. No parameters and only one secondary, and optional, objective." Baki then laughed humorlessly, "But as closely woven as the two objectives are we probably aren't going to be doing one without completing the other."

Baki tossed a folder at the women that was caught by Anko, "The target is Sabaku no Kesei. He pretty much runs this city. He isn't really the mayor, but that's really irrelevant at this point."

Anko passed the folder to Rin, it being full of info on Kesei, "What of his protection detail?"

Baki shook his head, "Not really a detail. It's just one person, but damn is it one person." Baki pulled a second folder and threw it over, "This guy is the most terrifying figure in Sunagakure history. I can't even begin to tell you how important this person is to Kesei's rise to dominance. If this guy wasn't around we wouldn't even be talking right now."

XxX

Naruto looked over to the brother and sister, "So… What's your brother's name anyway?"

Temari looked down, "Our brother? His name…"

XxX

Rin opened the second folder and began to read, "Hmm, his bodyguard…"

XxX

"Sabaku no Gaara."

**OOOHHHH SHIT! Not really. You probably all saw this coming the second I wrote the 'going to Suna' part. I don't care. My story, I do what I want. I'm going to have some fun with this one though.**

**Time to go sit down and keep on waiting for UFC Undisputed 2010 to come out… This is a long-ass week yo.**

**Kenchi out… Snootchie-Bootchies…**


	15. Kill Your Heart

Review Shoutouts

**FunwithFire: Yes that was a quote from Red Dead Redemption's commercial, it was a badass line. It's kind of cliché, but it was still awesome. I'm getting that by the way, it looks awesome.**

**SpeeDemon: Yeah, but I have to prioritize what I buy. Bills and loans, along with my hard to kick video game habit have left me a broken man. Broken… but not beaten… yet.**

**ChaosKid0: Super typo, that's all it was. Fixed it.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… yet. But I am currently concocting a plan that will end with me hypnotizing Masashi Kishimoto at an airport terminal, forcing him to sign over the rights of Naruto to me! Muahahahahahah! Now all I have to do is learn hypnotism, scope out his preferred airports of choice and set up shop as a side-show performer for X amount of years until the fly falls into the trap of the spider! ALL IN DUE TIME!

**Chapter 15: Kill Your Heart**

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(Konohagakure – Police Station 7th Precinct)

Sasuke was to report straight to the 7th precinct on this day. After school for the last few years Sasuke had been something of an apprentice to his father Fugaku and his brother Itachi in the police department. With Fugaku being the overall chief of the department and Itachi rising fast in rank since his training was complete, the idea of having Fugaku handle the administrative learning and having Itachi show him the functional side made sense.

So on this day Sasuke sat in the station amid the gruff officers, mounds of papers, and ringing phones. However he was not alone on this day, no he brought along a second victim for the ride.

Sasuke was stuck looking at the reports from an arson case back in yadda-yada with the main suspects being blah-blah-blah. He looked up and smirked at the girl who had insisted on tagging along today, "So what was that you were saying about how nothing I could be doing could be more boring than nothing?"

Kyuubi was scratching her nails on a random stack of papers before turning to Sasuke with a perturbed look, "You're a cop. I thought you would actually be doing something useful or at least something mildly exciting. Not reading stuffy old reports."

Sasuke chuckled for the short reprieve from his mind-numbing hell of reading old-ass case reports, "I'm not a cop, I'm a trainee. And if you find this boring then boo-hoo. I didn't ask you to follow me after school was over, you did it because I won't tell you where Naruto is." He laughed slightly when she puffed her cheeks, "He told me not to tell anyone where he was. You have the key to his house, isn't that enough? Go steal some of his stuff and make a shrine if you miss him that much."

Sasuke dodged a glass mug thrown by the red-head girl and raised an eyebrow as he heard the shatter, "That wasn't mine…"

Kyuubi crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently, "That bastard said he would tell me when he was on missions from now on."

Sasuke shook his head as he continued to read, "He told you he'd tell you OR the signs that he was gone would be obvious. I think the fact that he hasn't harassed any of us for two days and that he turned his first phone off are very good signs."

The file in Sasuke's hands burst into blue flames and ashes as he looked up to see a mischievous grin on Kyuubi's face. Sasuke's face held no sign of annoyance as he shrugged, "I was done with it anyway and it was just a copy."

Sasuke then proceeded to pick up another file and flip it open, "You know he knows that you miss him when he disappears. The way you act whenever you first see him when he comes back makes me wonder why you haven't fucked him yet."

Kyuubi smirked, "And what, pray tell, would you know about that 'uke'?"

Sasuke's eyes showed no reaction to that nickname as he immersed himself, but inside he was sweating, 'Okay don't show her anything! It's best to nip that one in the bud now before Naruto gets back or it will never die!' Sasuke, to his credit, pulled an Itachi and kept himself composed, "And who do you suggest I engage in the act with? The girls at school that stalk me? Fuck that shit… If an idiot like Naruto can get someone as decent as you then I know damn well _I_ can do better than the girls at our school."

Kyuubi stood and began walking around the desk Sasuke was seated at, "Aww, I'm so glad my boyfriend's buddy likes me!"

Sasuke scoffed as he continued to read and fished in his pocket for some money, "Yes, yes, we've established that months ago. Now be sweet and go grab us something to eat when you go outside for air. I kind of want to finish this one before I do anything else."

Kyuubi took the money and headed outside as Sasuke looked over his case file, 'So many kidnappings… And we never caught the guy? A scientist huh?'

XxX

(Sunagakure – Hotel Rooftop)

Naruto, Kankuro, and Temari had long since been called back by their senior teammates. They were currently sitting on the air units on the rooftop in stunned silence. The reason why? They were just briefed on the content of their mission.

Naruto looked over at the siblings who had looks of mixed emotion on their face; eagerness mixed with fear, anger, and understanding. With such conflicted looks on his temporary comrades faces Naruto chose to speak up, "Um… Really?"

Anko looked confused at the boy's question, "Really what gaki? You don't understand what we're doing?"

Naruto scratched his head, "Well it's not really that. This seems like something too convenient for real life. Who commissioned this mission anyway?"

Baki answered, "We can't tell you that Uzumaki. It could compromise our clients if we fail."

He looked back over at Kankuro and Temari who both still couldn't believe what was happening. Temari came to first, "So… our mission is to kill fa- I mean Kesei… and Gaara."

Kankuro frowned as he palmed his forehead, "Well this is the chance we wanted. But to kill Gaara too?"

Naruto looked up at his older partners, "Hey can I see the mission stats?" Rin handed the folder over to Naruto as he skimmed through the information, "Hey we don't HAVE to kill Gaara, just Kesei. We can do the mission without killing him."

Kankuro shook his head, "No Naruto. The entire reason Gaara's even a part of the mission orders is because you don't see one without the other. If we go after Kesei then Gaara will be just a shot away and he'll engage us without question or command."

Baki nodded, "He's dangerous to society. He's been documented killing anyone that even looks at him and Kesei off-kilter. He's simply secondary because he either won't kill as much without Kesei, or he would go over the edge and go on a full-scale killing spree. He would still be a threat, in theory anyway."

Naruto nodded grimly. He had just met these kids and he really did like them, they got along well enough and it didn't hurt that Temari was hot and Naruto would always have a soft spot for good-looking women.

Naruto sighed and looked up seriously seeing as how no one else was asking, "So exactly when will we be proceeding with the attack?"

Rin and Anko had been told of Temari and Kankuro's close involvement with the mission after they had summoned the teens to rendezvous on the roof and Rin's heart actually did go out to them as she looked at the embattling emotion on their faces, "We will take a week to prepare a plan and choose a good setting for it. You will learn each other's strengths and weaknesses and you will plan accordingly. What will most likely happen will be you three fighting Gaara while we take out Kesei, it would be best to split them up in case our stealth attack fails."

All three nodded with serious looks on their faces. Naruto was apprehensive about the mission, not because he was actually afraid of Gaara or Kesei, he was sure that he could handle whatever was thrown at him and he had faith in Anko and Rin to have his back, the real reason for his negative thoughts were his new partners. Kankuro and Temari were too personally invested in the mission; Naruto would try to keep Gaara mostly out of harm's way, but if push came to shove and it came down to a 'me-or-you' situation and it was shown that he was too far gone and dangerous to be kept alive Naruto would kill Gaara himself.

He knew this would more than likely destroy any chance of friendship he could hope to enact with the Suna kids, but he felt keeping them alive against a known psychopathic killer, brother or not, was more important than their family woes, you can't fix your family if you're dead after all.

Naruto looked at Anko with a stone gaze and from the look she was giving him back he could tell she was thinking the same thing. Naruto nodded, letting her know he would handle it as best he could.

As the rooftop was shrouded in silence Naruto was the first to stand and leave. Obviously there was nothing more that needed to be said for the time being and Naruto wanted to let Temari and Kankuro have some time to think before he confronted them.

Anko sighed as she followed Naruto off of the roof after a moment, "Good grief… Who needs all of the emotional baggage? Whatever happened to just marking a target and killing them? Why does it have to be so complex these days?"

XxX

(One Week Later)

After a week of observing their target and obtaining his schedule it was determined that the best time for any kind of attack would have to be during Suna's Festival of Wind. The Festival of Wind was a massive yearly happening that was celebrated by everyone in Suna at the Kazekyoukoku (Wind Canyon) roughly fifteen miles outside of Suna. The choice of such a public event for an assassination attempt was simple after a few days of observation.

Kesei was damn near bulletproof.

His entire mansion was only inhabited by himself and Gaara, Kankuro and Temari moved out as soon as they were registered as mercenaries. No servants, the entire place was locked down. There was only one door, but no one was getting in there unnoticed. The windows could not be taken out quietly and discreetly and even if they could be, Gaara was like the perfect watchdog. He would be on anything that was not supposed to be in that house the second the aura of the building felt off.

An attack outside was almost just as impossible. Gaara had an automatic defense. Sand would flock to his cover whenever anything that could conceivably harm him came close. Kesei had gotten it so that he could stand so close to Gaara in public that Gaara's sand would defend him too, making a distance attack useless on either.

No matter what it was going to come down to a pitched battle. The battlefield was chosen because the people in the way could evacuate quickly when the fight started. Another reason was that with all of the things out and around for the festival, separating them, no matter how difficult that may seem, would ensure that they would both be paired off into a handicapped battle with their respective opponents. The older mercenaries were banking on the fact that Kesei was relying too heavily on Gaara and had allowed his skills to atrophy over time.

No stealth attacks would work, making Anko's skills a moot point. The entire plan counted on splitting them up. If they were unable to do that then the mission would be a bust and their lives were forfeit. The adults had to finish up with Kesei quickly and come to the aid of the kids who would be fighting the real threat, Gaara.

The reason the kids were to fight the real threat was because with Rin not being much for combat and Anko's specialty taken out of the equation that would leave Baki as the only one combat ready between them. Baki was confident of his skills in a one-on-one fight with Kesei, not so much Gaara though.

Naruto on the other hand was, simply put, the only one in on his team's part of the plan that wasn't scared to do this. Temari and Kankuro had filled him in on how powerful Gaara was, of course, he just didn't care. He didn't have any real attachment to the mission at all, it was just another job if he could ignore Kankuro and Temari so killing Gaara wouldn't be too troublesome to him. In addition to that he wasn't scared because:

1.) He didn't live in Suna so he didn't really feel close to all of the killing Gaara did.

2.) He was just thickheaded enough to not really give a damn that Gaara _had_ killed so many people because they weren't him.

3.) He didn't have to KILL Gaara, he just had to hold him off until he could get help from the adults.

4.) Probably the most important reason of all… He was bat-shit crazy. He didn't care about the circumstances, he didn't care that Gaara was related to his team, he didn't care that Gaara had slaughtered countless people. In his heart Naruto had convinced himself that he could not lose. He had it set in his mind that when Gaara attacked, he wasn't going to let Gaara hit him, when Temari and Kankuro needed his help, he wasn't going to let them die, and when he struck, Gaara was as good as dead.

His only issue was with his support. He had sat down and had gone over their strengths and weaknesses. No strategy had been worked out, because there was no need for one. It was to be a straight up fight, no way around it. Temari used her fan to utilize her wind jutsu, Kankuro usually opted to stay hidden while using his puppets to fight, and Naruto was their up-close surgeon which worked just fine for him, if Gaara had to die he would rather be the one that did the deed than force his siblings to do it.

Still though he wasn't sure if they had the fight in them to actually go through with their mission. The day before the planned attack he rounded them up to speak about it. Naruto had brought them to his hotel room and had asked Anko and Rin to stay away so that he could handle the last-minute preparations with his team.

As he herded them inside he shut the door before they all took seats, Naruto on one bed, Kankuro and Temari on another.

Naruto put his hand on his chin as he thought of how to speak to them. He shrugged as he just decided to wing it, "So are you guys ready to go tomorrow?"

Temari and Kankuro nodded hesitantly. They didn't speak, and their faces looked apprehensive. Naruto sighed as he just gave up and decided to flat-out say it, "I'm gonna need you two to suck it up for tomorrow. We're going to have to do what is necessary, if that means we have to kill Gaara then that's what needs to be done."

Temari's eyes met Naruto's as a fire sparked for a moment in them, "What? How could you say that? I thought you understood!" Kankuro tried to calm her down but she wasn't done with him, "He's my little brother! I'm not that cold and evil that I can just kill him and be okay with it! Who do you think you are?"

Naruto growled menacingly, "I _think_ I'm your goddamn teammate! I _think_ that I don't feel like being a sacrificial lamb led off to the slaughter! If this shit keeps up tomorrow we are going to die do you understand me!"

Naruto watched as the glare on Temari's face didn't falter, "I know he's your brother okay? I understand that no matter what you're still hesitant to fight him, but he won't hold back the same way against you. If you don't fight to kill tomorrow then he will rend you limb from limb and there won't be anything I can do about it, you need to bring your A-game damn it! I won't sit still and watch you all die because of a voice in the back of your head telling you that your brother won't hurt you, he's not your brother anymore."

Temari stood and slapped Naruto in the face snapping his head to the side. Naruto didn't turn back as his face turned red and faded back to normal, "You can hit me all you want. I don't care, do what you have to as long as when game time rolls around I have an effective unit. If you aren't ready to go tomorrow, if you have any doubts at all… don't bother showing up. I'll manage on my own."

Kankuro's eyes widened, "You can't beat Gaara alone, no one can. It's suicide."

Naruto gave him a cold look, "Then help me. If you know what Gaara has done, if you know that no one has even a snowball's chance in hell against him one-on-one, if you know that if we don't do this he'll just keep killing, then act like responsible older siblings and put a stop to it."

Naruto sighed as he realized Temari wanted to throttle him, "Look. I'm not even going to pretend that I know what fighting your own flesh and blood could feel like, but someone has to do it. Like I said before, I don't want to kill him, and I won't if I don't have to, but if it comes down to me or him, it's definitely going to have to be him."

Temari turned and left the room, slamming the door on the way out. Naruto sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose, "Well that could've gone better…" He looked up to see Kankuro still there, "You want to get your licks in too?"

Kankuro shook his head no, "No, because you're right. No matter what Temari and I would like he isn't our brother anymore. I know damn well he doesn't see us as one, and he'd kill us just as soon as look at us."

Kankuro grimaced as he stood to leave, "I don't know about Temari, but I'll be there tomorrow. It's our responsibility to run damage control on our family, even if it means killing our own kin. See you tomorrow kid."

"Wait." Kankuro was stopped by Naruto at the door, "I'll do whatever I can to make sure we don't have to kill him I swear it, but… I'm not a miracle worker, I won't let him kill me or you two out of B.S. sentiment."

Kankuro turned and nodded before he left and shut the door leaving Naruto alone in his room. Naruto collapsed back on his bed with a groan, "I'm not old enough to be dealing with this shit…"

XxX

(Konohagakure – South Konoha High School)

Sasuke was sitting at the usual table populated by himself, Kyuubi, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sakura, and Ino. Instead of simply eating and ignoring everyone like usual he was still reading the file on the scientist kidnapper from the week before.

Ino slid up close to Sasuke's side unnoticed as she draped herself over his shoulder, "Sasuke-kun. Put that dusty old ledger aside and have lunch with me huh?"

Sakura came up on his other side, "Maybe I could help you out with whatever it is you need from it Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke's gaze snapped towards her suddenly, 'Maybe… I mean Sakura, as shallow as she is, is actually supposed to be smart. Oh why the hell not, humor her.' Sasuke shrugged to himself and passed the folder to her, "It's an old serial kidnapping case. We never caught the guy and then he just up and vanished, fell off of the face of the earth, it's weird. Maybe someone else can help me make heads or tails of this stuff."

Kyuubi sighed, "Sasuke enough already. I've been seeing you read that crap all week, enough already."

Sasuke smirked at her as Sakura scoured the file for anything useful or out of place, "I can't. This is too weird to leave alone. The guy would kidnap people and experiment on them. Apparently they only ever recovered one of his experiments alive. Only one true living witness."

Sakura quirked an eyebrow as she read, "Orochimaru? What a strange name."

Sasuke chuckled, "Well then you should see his picture, flip a few pages."

Sakura did as she was told and grimaced as a pasty-white man with long black hair and snake-like yellow eyes was shown, "Eww. That's a pretty odd visage."

Sakura passed the file around so that everyone could get a look. Shikamaru didn't care, Chouji paused for a moment but then went back to eating, Kiba got a few chuckles off of it, Kyuubi passed it on saying she'd seen it already, and Ino was the last to receive it, "Wow, this guy is gross Sasuke-kun. Why are you interested in this guy again?"

Sasuke grunted as he took back the file, "There are a few reasons. One reason is that he did this stuff for several years inside of the city and no one ever caught him, not even anyone in my family. He's not dead so where is he now?"

Kyuubi yawned, "Who cares? It's all boring, worry about things that are happening now. Work on things that are still open, drop that stupid closed case and look at something that could end in some action."

Sasuke smirked at her, "Getting restless without your blonde sociopath groping you?" Sasuke paused to dodge a drink container aimed at his head before giving her a dry look, "You're lucky that damn thing was empty."

Kyuubi glared at her fowl-haired friend, "Naruto-kun is not a sociopath."

Shikamaru chuckled from the other side of the table, "Yeah he is. He can just control it really well. He's more than a little eccentric."

Kyuubi smiled as she thought about him, "Yeah I guess Naruto-kun is… But that's what makes him interesting."

Kiba scratched his head, "Hey Sasuke, why don't you just talk to your family about this? Surely they have stuff on it?"

Sasuke shook his head, "I can't get help from any of the cops on my projects. Part of my dad's tests are to advance with my own sources and…. contacts." Sasuke's eyes widened as he looked at Kyuubi, "You think I can get Naruto to do some digging when he gets back?"

Kyuubi huffed and turned away, "Well how would I know whether or not my boyfriend would help you? I mean, I don't even know where he is?"

Sasuke's eye twitched, "Nevermind I'll just ask him myself when he gets back."

XxX

(Sunagakure – Kazekyoukoku- Night of the Festival of Wind)

Naruto infiltrated the festival easily enough… all he had to do was buy a ticket. Naruto walked in searching for any member of his team and ended up seeing Anko sitting at a picnic table by a dango stand partaking in some of their wares, "Anko. What's going on with you?"

Anko finished her stick and looked at Naruto with a grin on her face, "Well Naru-chan, I'm fine, just preparing to revel in the slaughter momentarily."

Naruto sat down at her table and reached for a stick of dango from her plate before the stick she had been holding was slammed through the space between his fingers going through the wood. Naruto turned up to see Anko grinning evilly at him, "If you want to be pinned to the table just because you're too cheap to buy your own food then please, be my guest."

Naruto slowly pulled his hand back, "Enjoy your meal Anko…"

Anko picked up the stick and bit into the dumpling, "That's what I thought gaki."

Rin and Baki walked up to the scene as Rin gave Naruto a smile, "Hello Naruto-kun, are you ready for tonight?"

Naruto nodded, "I'm ready. I'm pretty stoked for the fight, even if I have to do it alone."

Baki sighed as he patted the boy's arm, "I'm sorry kid. But this is the main reason I wanted some back-up like you guys for this job in the first place. I wasn't sure that they could handle it." He leaned against the side of the dango stand and looked up, "In the end I can't really fault them for backing out. I can't ask them to do this, no matter how necessary it is."

"Oh you really have such little faith in us Baki? I'm hurt."

They turned to see Kankuro and Temari walking towards their position, both with serious expressions. Baki walked up to meet them, "You're here? You don't have to be, Naruto said it would be okay, he says he can handle Gaara alone."

Kankuro shook his head, "We have to do this Baki. If not for our brother then for ourselves, in the end this is a family matter, we can't let someone else deal with this. Not all on their own."

Naruto stood and walked towards Temari, "You still pissed off at me?"

Temari glared for a second before turning softer, "No… This is your job, you wouldn't be here if it didn't need to be done. We're ready."

Naruto put hands on both their shoulders, "Remember what I said, all of it. Now let's go get this done already."

Everyone made sure they were fully outfitted for battle, knowing that neither of their adversaries would go quietly into the night. The entire team rose and began a steady stride towards their target(s) for the evening. Preparing for the worst, whatever that would entail.

XxX

Kyuubi and Sasuke were heading back to their respective homes together after another evening of being spent going over the police records searching for material on Orochimaru. Kyuubi who had been watching Sasuke get absorbed into the whole thing from day one had a question for him, "Sasuke, why did you want to talk to Naruto-kun when he got back from his mission."

Sasuke grunted in disapproval, "The police records have next to nothing on this Orochimaru guy. I know it's stupid to get so worked up over this whole thing, but there's something eating at me about it, like I can find something no one else did." Sasuke shrugged, "And I figured that if one side of justice didn't have the answers, why not try the other side? He works for a mercenary company, why not see if he can get me something, they probably have better information anyway."

Kyuubi put her hands in her pockets as they passed under the streetlights, "Why would he give you information on or from his mercenary group? He barely tells me anything, I mean I can go visit the place and they let me in, but I'm left in the dark on everything."

Sasuke shook his head, "Well then I guess it pays to exist on a relationship based on favors/blackmail/macho pecking order then huh?"

Kyuubi looked confused, "Say what now?"

Sasuke laughed for a moment, "We weren't friends at first, but then one day, and I can't for the life of me remember who initiated first positive contact, we started going back and forth with favors. As we got older and things that are far too humiliating to see the light of day happened to us around each other, blackmail came into play. Then we started fighting and the rules changed again."

Sasuke paused for a moment, looking thoughtful while counting his fingers, "I'm currently up +2, Naruto is -2. That means I have two favors I can cash in before he digs up some nasty blackmail on me or beats my ass, or some combination of the two before he breaks even again and the score resets to zero for both of us."

Kyuubi blinked, "That is a kind of elaborate social setup I must say."

Sasuke nodded, "Oh yeah, and we use 'em for everything. If I want him to beat someone's ass for me, steal something, or get me some questionable technology at low-low prices for me or Itachi he'll do it. If he needs me to cover up some dumb shit he pulled in town, or if he ever needs to use the Uchiha skeleton key that gets you into damn near every building in the city I'll do it. Hell he even had me break him out of weekend lock-up and get him home to let the heat die down before. EVERYTHING IS REDEEMABLE!"

Kyuubi sweat-dropped, "That kind of sounds, I don't know, dangerous, stupid? Am I getting close?" Kyuubi slapped Sasuke across the back of his head eliciting a low hissing noise from the boy, "You two are retarded you know that? Who does that shit?"

Sasuke glared while rubbing his head, "We each have certain skills, and we can each only get into certain circles that the other can't. I need cheap weapons and shock equipment in addition to practicing my combat skills in practical situations, Naruto… is crazy and enjoys venting on douchebags that I can't be caught laying a beatdown on in addition to needing someone to keep the long-arm of the law off of his ass. It's a give-take relationship."

Kyuubi sighed as she rubbed her arm, "Yeah, that sounds nice…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Oh come on now… Don't give me that shit. Naruto's crazy about you woman." Kyuubi looked up at him with a cocked eyebrow that slightly unnerved Sasuke, "What? …What is it?"

Kyuubi glared at him, "Easy for you to say. Mr. Best Friend… I wish Naruto would do anything for me like that."

Sasuke bursted out in laughter almost falling to the sidewalk, "That is the greatest thing I've heard all day, well done." Sasuke regained his composure and stood up straight, "Only a jealous girlfriend would think she wanted something like that."

Kyuubi's eyes narrowed, "Choose your next words carefully Uchiha, lest you lose those pretty spinning red eyes of yours to a tragic gouging accident."

Sasuke threw up his hands in truce, "Whoa, ok. Why the hell would you WANT to have to blackmail him into something or have him OWE you a favor? He does all of that for you anyway. No matter what you own his ass because all you have to do is shut down the loving and he'll break like a cheap toy. He'll give you _anything_ you want, all you have to do is ask and make sure he can afford it, and even if he can't then he'd probably just steal it anyway. And if you actually do want to blackmail him, you have the key to his house, dig through his stuff and you'll find tons of things."

Kyuubi smiled as she thought about how true that actually was before a thought came to mind, "Wait, you have a key too. Why don't _you_ use the stuff in his house to blackmail him."

Sasuke smirked, "I already did, but that doesn't mean you can't still use it for yourself. But I didn't tell you that."

Kyuubi made a zipping motion on her mouth and winked at Sasuke.

XxX

Zaku waited in the shadows as he followed the Uchiha and the red-haired girl. Zaku cackled to himself under his breath, "You're dead Uchiha, so soon. You just don't know it yet."

Zaku clinched his fists and almost walked out to attempt a confrontation before an arm with a strange gauntlet pulled him back, "Damn it Dosu let me go! I need to kill him! Him and the blonde punk's little bitch! I'll ruin them like they ruined me!"

Dosu, a teen boy whose face was completely wrapped up sighed lazily, "Kin, if you would?"

In response a black-haired girl hit him in the neck with senbon to paralyze him temporarily. Zaku stiffened up and was leaned against the wall as Dosu spoke to him, "Not now Zaku. We are meant to observe for now. Don't worry though, you were promised your shot and you will get it, just wait."

Zaku seethed silently as he was still able to see the figures of his ire walk off into the night, "I'll kill you both, and the blonde asshole too…"

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**TADA! Ready for your mental consumption! Burn this into your mental file banks for your reading pleasure. Enjoy my laborious labor of a toiling variety. I'll probably put out another chapter of my other story tomorrow and then you won't hear from me for a while (A few days at least).**

**Tommorow night at midnight I will be procuring UFC Undisputed 2010 and will begin making the slow climb to the top 500 worldwide ranking spot I held in the last game. Why? Because I'm fucking awesome like that. Hell I might even multitask and write this shit along with getting my pwn on at the same time in between matches. But I digress…**

**Show me what you think, what you might like, if it's good then I will make it public next chapter.**

**Kenchi out.**


	16. Brother's Keeper

Review Shoutouts

**Not feeling it today...**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I'm running out of creative ways to say that by now. Maybe I'm just getting lazy?

**Chapter 16: Brother's Keeper**

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"Blood pills?"

"Check."

"Combat knife?"

"Check."

"Explosive notes?"

"Check."

"Kunai and shuriken?"

"Check."

"A kiss for your Anko-chan?"

"Che-. Wait, what now?"

"Ha! Too late gaki! Now be a good boy and come here."

Naruto held Anko off of himself as they prepared for their last moments before the battle with Gaara and Kesei. In all actuality Naruto was glad Anko had pulled this stunt before the fight. He didn't need his team going in all stiff and rigid.

Rin grabbed Anko and pulled her over to Baki as the teams separated to begin, "Okay Anko that's enough. We need to let the kids get to work, and we have our positions to take too." Rin looked back at Naruto, "Good luck Naruto-kun. Be safe so we can go home and tell Kakashi and Obito about how well you did."

Naruto nodded and gave Rin a small smile as the teams went their separate ways.

Kankuro hurried up to Naruto's side, "So Naruto, what's the plan?" Kankuro was nervously fidgeting with his hands, still showing that he was nervous about the whole thing.

Naruto looked back to see Temari actually biting her finger. After seeing the attitudes of his team Naruto frowned, 'I thought they said they were ready? Well maybe when we start taking the upper hand they'll get some confidence about this."

Naruto checked the pockets of his cargo pants for his tools, "I thought you knew already? We're supposed to separate Gaara and Kesei and then go fight Gaara until Baki, Anko, and Rin-neechan can finish Kesei and help us."

Kankuro scratched his head, "Well yeah I knew that. I mean how are we going to separate them TO go fight Gaara?"

Naruto chuckled, "Why don't you let me worry about that. All you guys have to do is be ready to move when I do separate them, alright?"

Temari and Kankuro nodded before Temari gave him a bright smile, "You can count on us Naruto. We'll be right there with you all the way." Kankuro patted Naruto on the shoulder eliciting a smile from the blonde boy.

XxX

Kesei and Gaara were simply walking around the fairgrounds. Kessei hadn't even gone to any of the events of the festival. It seemed like all he was doing was glowering over everyone in attendance and asserting his position in the city. Everyone around them was giving them a wide berth, not really wanting Gaara to get too antsy and snatch them up to kill them. Kesei had a smug look on his face as they made rounds.

Anko was playing with a kunai as they shadowed their targets from a distance, "Can we just go in there and kill the guy already? I want to wipe that fucking grin off of his face." Anko holstered her kunai and grabbed Rin from behind, "Come on Rin-Rin, we can take them."

Baki snorted and Rin's eye twitched, "Anko just sit and wait for Naruto-kun to separate them, it shouldn't be too much longer now."

Baki looked at Rin who had pretty much all but taken command of the mission, "So what can that kid do to get them apart? As long as Kesei stays close to Gaara there's nothing anyone can do, and he isn't going to be moving away for anything."

Rin grunted in acknowledgement, "I know, and Naruto-kun does too, but I trust him to come up with something. He is very surprising."

Anko started hopping like a little kid and pointing out, "Ooh, ooh look! The gaki's going for it! Finally! Let's get this show on the road!"

Baki's eyes widened, "Oh no… What the hell is he doing!"

XxX

Baki's concerns were well founded, as instead of trying to be sneaky or anything like that Naruto was simply walking forward with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his features. Gaara's emotionless eyes shifted to Naruto and as he got within fifteen feet he found himself snatched up in Gaara's sand. Kesei raised his hands to keep Gaara from finishing him off, "What are you doing boy? You must not be from around here if you were getting that close to me."

Naruto kept up his smirk, "Well I'm not from around here, but I do know about you and your pocket psychopath there. You see me and my associates have been sent here to kill you."

Kesei grinned darkly, "Well it looks like I'll have to kill all of you doesn't it?" He raised his arm to signal Gaara to finish him. Gaara outstretched his hand.

Naruto let out a short laugh, "That's what I thought you'd say." Gaara clinched his fist, crushing Naruto, or should I say Naruto-clone, because he exploded into smoke. At that moment over a dozen Naruto clones appeared atop the many stands surrounding Kesei and Gaara and began flipping through handsigns.

Gaara raised his defense of sand to utterly cover himself and his father. The clones all had matching grins as the similar cry amongst them rang out, "Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Bullet Jutsu)!"

Massive balls of water hurled at the shield and collided, shaking the area around it and drenching everything, however the shield looked no worse for wear.

XxX

Baki was shaking, "The plan is shot! What was the kid thinking? Now we'll never separate them!"

The two remaining mercenaries remained silent, looking at the scene play out.

XxX

Quickly after the clones fired their salvo of jutsu Naruto dashed from the darkness of one of the stands and rushed at the shield, 'This better fucking work!' Naruto activated his youki and took on his more feral appearance strengthening his own body as he collided with the shield. It utterly fell apart, clumps of wet sand collapsing around them, as the souped-up half-demon slammed into it. Naruto shoulder-checked Gaara hard, sending him flying out of the shield.

Kesei looked around frantically as his protection had been removed. As Gaara tried rising to his feet his wet sand still tried to make a perimeter around him, but was far too slow to keep up with Naruto's speed. Naruto punted him in the body to send him even further away.

Kesei began to run to his weapon's defense but was cut off by an invisible blade cutting into the ground in front of him. Baki and Rin appeared in front of him. Baki chuckled, "I can't believe it. The kid pulled it off. I'm sorry for doubting him."

Rin crossed her arms, "I told you, he's very surprising. Do you mind handling most of this? I'm not much for direct combat."

Baki cracked his knuckes, "Oh don't you worry about that. I've been waiting for this for years."

Kesei cackled loudly, "You're all fools. You two can't kill me, and your blonde brat will just end up being a stain on the ground by the time Gaara is through with him. This was a fool's errand!"

Kesei turned just in time to see Anko begin a deadly assault with a pair of kunai in her grip. The purple-haired woman came close to cutting his jugular multiple times, but the amassed experience of Kesei, despite his loss of skill, kept him alive long enough to put some decent distance between them.

Anko took a spot at the side of Rin and Baki. Baki still looked overjoyed at getting this chance against Kesei, "Finally, all of your powerplay bullshit ends tonight Kesei. You don't own Sunagakure, and you never will."

Kesei grinned as he took on a defensive stance, "You can try to stop me. By all means come and try. Your lives were forfeit the moment you let your intentions be known. You will all die here, every single one of you."

Anko yawned and looked over at Baki, "This guy sure can talk a big game, is he actually any good at backing any of that tough talk up?"

Baki shook his head, "If he's been relying on Gaara the way he has been for years then he doesn't stand a chance. Even if he had been a world-beater before this there's just no way he retained enough skill to take on three experienced killers that aren't rusty themselves. He's soft."

Kesei sneered, "Well then, come over here so I can show you how _rusty_ I am."

Anko tossed a kunai at him that narrowly missed his throat once again before she donned a feral smirk, "Well it seems this guy might not suck as much as I thought… More fun for me then."

XxX

The scene further away from the area of the initial conflict more resembled a soccer game than an actual fight. Naruto had been using his superior speed to move faster than Gaara's sand could follow and had been kicking him relentlessly away from Kesei, 'This is good. If this keeps up it'll be no sweat to hold this guy back until we can get some help.'

As Gaara rolled bonelessly on the ground Naruto ran in for another kick before his foot was stopped in its path. Naruto looked down to see a tendril of sand wrapped around his leg.

"Where did this come fro-. AAAAHHH!"

The sand around his leg lifted him and swung him around before it flung him far away enough so that Gaara could reach his feet. Gaara looked at the blonde boy who had been using him like a cheap hacky-sack with disdain, "You hit me."

Naruto shook off the cobwebs as he stood and dusted himself off, "Uh yeah, that's kind of what happens in fights; I hit you, you hit me, we keep up that pattern until one guy can't stand anymore." Naruto squinted and saw parts of Gaara flaking off, but as it hit the ground he realized it was sand, "Wow, you sure can play with that sand can't you?"

Gaara's response was to send a wave of sand at Naruto, forcing him to begin dodging. Naruto whipped out a fist full of shuriken and threw them at Gaara whose sand shield snapped into place swiftly. Naruto sweat-dropped as he kept away from the crashing waves of grainy death, 'I freaking knew that was going to happen… Fucking dry-ass desert, can't keep the sand wet…'

Gaara held his hands together to focus on his prey, "You hit me."

Naruto nimbly kept out of grasp of the vicious sand, "Yeah, we've already been over that part. I hit you. And I'm going to be hitting you a lot more before this fight is over so get used to it."

XxX

Temari and Kankuro looked on from their hiding area. It was deemed that Naruto would be the main attacker for two reasons. One, he knew he would win, he wasn't afraid of what Gaara could do so he would fight without being intimidated. Two, because he still wasn't sure if Kankuro and Temari could bring themselves to try and harm their brother.

Kankuro blinked at the scene unfolding in front of him, "He actually hit Gaara."

Temari mirrored her brother's expression at the same thing, "He didn't just hit him, he hit him right off the bat, at the start of the fight, and he did it multiple times…"

They just waited, remembering Naruto's instructions from before.

(_Flashback – Before the Attack)_

_Temari and Kankuro had fallen in line as Naruto led them through the festival grounds before he finally spoke, "Yeah, you guys aren't fighting Gaara with me."_

_Temari froze and shouted at the lead blonde, "What! What do you mean we aren't fighting Gaara? We're partners on this mission."_

_Naruto turned and sighed before fixing her with a hard gaze, "Do you really think you can win? Are you actually going to fight to beat him no matter what it takes? Or are you just going to go through the motions while I handle the heavy lifting? And be honest when you think of how this is going to play out, you're a smart girl."_

_Temari looked away as Naruto nodded, "Exactly, I'll fight Gaara head on, he won't beat me, I won't allow it. IF I go down, I need you two to jump in at that point, he'll probably be hurt enough that you can win, but until I go down you two need to wait in the wings."_

_Naruto motioned for them to follow as he continued walking, "Just trust me, it's better if you don't get in the way."_

(End Flashback)

Kankuro gulped as he watched Naruto dodging Gaara's bursts of sand, "I guess he really took over the whole team leader thing huh?" Temari just nodded mutely.

XxX

"Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

Naruto's red blades of youki never reached Gaara directly, the blades cut deeply into his sand shield but never got close to him. In retaliation Gaara let loose a set of shuriken shaped from his sand.

Naruto chuckled as he saw the imitation weapons coming at him, "Sand shuriken? That's the best you've got?"

The laughter faded as they collided full-speed with Naruto's body, sending him flying against a stand in the background. Naruto spit blood on the ground and hissed as he stood back up just in time to dodge another wave of sand, "Is that all you can do? Throw sand at me? If that's all I can expect from you then you should give up now, I'm not even fighting full-blast yet."

Gaara simply stood, arms crossed, staring at Naruto, "You are an interesting person. No one ever lasts this long against me."

Naruto scoffed, "No one ever lasts this long? Everyone else you fight must be super-weak then. Let's just say I'm _different_ then everyone else. Allow me to show you just how different I am."

Gaara allowed ghost of a smile to come on his face for just a moment, "What is your name. I'd like to know it."

Naruto grabbed his combat knife and held it in a reverse grip, grinning like a loon, "Me? I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Why would want to know my name anyway? I am here to more or less beat the crap out of you."

Gaara blinked emotionlessly, "I think you might be interesting. When I kill you, I think I would like to remember your name. So many of the people father sends me after are nothing to me, you might be challenging." Gaara raised his hands at Naruto to send more sand his way.

Naruto chuckled as he again made to dodge, "You can't kill me, but hey! Feel free- no, feel encouraged to try!" Naruto dashed at Gaara again, still using his speed from his demonic powers. Naruto's fist collided with a wall of sand before he vanished to the side of Gaara, trying his luck with a roundhouse kick that was again blocked by sand.

Naruto's eyes widened as the sand began to envelop the appendage. Naruto tried to pull his leg free but the sand kept creeping up his body. Naruto quickly began stabbing into the sand around him, chipping off enough that he could rip his leg free and escape, with the cost of a few nasty stab wounds on his own leg.

Naruto put some distance between himself and his homicidal foe by jumping onto a stand in order to allow his rapid healing to work its magic on his leg and heal it right up. Ignoring the blood caking his pant leg Naruto jumped back into the fracas with a determined look.

'I need to slow his sand down again. As fast as I am as long as his sand is dry it can move just as fast as me. But there isn't any source of water around here to fire anymore Teppodama no Jutsu with.' Naruto spammed a ton of kage bunshin surrounding Gaara on all sides and had them all charge him.

All this did was make Gaara encase himself in a cocoon of sand that ended up impaling all of his attacking bunshin soon after they made contact. Naruto scratched his head, "Well damn… How am I going to get in there? I'm moving as I can and the only time I even hit him I had to brute force my way through."

Naruto's eyes lit up, 'That's it! I can't go around, I'm just not fast enough! I have to find some way to just break on through, literally!"

XxX

Kesei dropped into the dirt once again, blood dribbling from his mouth as he looked up at his smirking attacker. Anko cracked her knuckles in all of her mesh body-suited, trench-coat wearing glory. Smirking down at their overmatched foe she walked over to Baki and slapped his hand, "Tagging you in veil-face. Have some fun."

Baki chuckled at Anko antics as Kesei stood once more, spitting as he wiped his mouth, "You fools don't get it do you? If you kill me then Gaara will kill everyone. The only reason he kills as little as he does is because I keep him on his leash. If you kill me then he'll kill anyone he can just because. He's my greatest success."

Baki lunged in quickly and connected his fist to Kesei's jaw, being rewarded with a satisfying crack sound as he dropped to the ground again. Baki shook out the hand he had just used to deliver his haymaker, "You talk way too much for a dead man, you know that?"

Anko looked at Rin who was simply leaning off on the side, seeing no need to get involved in what she had already deemed as overkill, and shared a chuckle with the brown-haired woman, "Yeah I'm sure whisker-gaki has it handled until we get there. He isn't a slouch in a fight." She looked at Rin, "Is he Rin-Rin?"

Rin stood from the wall and walked over to Anko, "He'd better not be. Me, Kakashi-kun, and Obito have put too much effort into making that kid some kind of force for him to just cave at the first sign of a troublesome enemy. I know at the very least he can last until Baki finishes extracting his pound of flesh from you and Anko here can fill her personal sadist quota for the night."

Anko grinned at Rin's words before she pounded her hand into her fist, "Oh! We should have let the other two brats stay with us so that they could get their licks in too. Oh well… too late now."

Kesei clinched his fists as the dirt under them began to kick up, "You're all arrogant…" He suddenly stood with a manic grin on his face, "Fuuton: Senpuuken (Wind Release: Whirlwind Fist)!"

He launched a punch that sent a massive whirlwind directly at Baki and the two women, covering the entire area in dust. He let a passive smirk settle on his face, "The idiots… underestimating me like that."

"Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!"

A massive gust of wind sent Kesei stumbling back a few steps as the dust cleared revealing Baki and the women completely unharmed. Baki had a humored look on his face, "So you want to play with wind? Well why didn't you just say so then?"

There was a slight distortion in the air originating from the tip of Baki's fingers and as he moved his hands he left massive gashes in the ground, "Show me what else you've got for me Kesei. I want to savor this entertainment."

XxX

Naruto opened up a fist as a blur flame and appeared in the palm of his hand. Naruto threw it at Gaara as his shield intercepted it but a smile came on Naruto's face as he saw a shine on the surface of the sand.

Naruto turned to where Kankuro and Temari were situated and made an eye-contact gesture before symboling the number one. Temari's breath hitched as she realized his meaning, "He needs my help!"

Before Kankuro could speak Temari had rushed from their spot to Naruto's side. Naruto gave her a cheeky grin as she unfurled the fan from her back, "Glad you could join our little party. I need you to kick up a windy clusterfuck for me. I'll give you the signal for it but trust me, you'll know when to do it."

Temari exposed the three purple moons on her fan and had a serious look on her face. Gaara noticed that Temari had jumped in and frowned, "I am disappointed Uzumaki, I thought you were strong, and then you call for help from another."

Naruto put a hand on Temari's shoulder, "You know Gaara, a strong man knows when he needs to ask for assistance. That sand shield of yours is a real bitch to deal with, and this lovely lady here is going to help me get through it."

Temari blinked before she registered what he had said and dragged him behind a stand to get out of Gaara's direct sight before hissing a whisper at him, "What the hell do you mean 'get throught it'? How am I supposed to help you get through it? Nothing gets through it. Why not just find a way around it or another idea that isn't as, I don't know, suicidal!"

Naruto fake-held his heart in anguish, "Dear Temari-chan. Don't you believe in me?" He got a serious look on his face as he grabbed her by the chin, "Look, as long as the sand is dry I can't outmaneuver it. I can only start dealing damage if I can get in close and the best way to accomplish that is with my simple-ass plan, simple, but effective."

Temari still had a skeptical look on her face that made Naruto sigh and rub the bridge of his nose, "Just do your blowy, gusty, fan thingy when the time comes and I'll do the awesome/violent stuff and then we can all get drunk after I win okay?"

Naruto began to leave the cover before Temari grabbed a hold of his arm, "Wait. Just please don't kill him unless you have to okay? He's still my otouto."

"Come on Uzumaki. I want my sand to taste your blood."

Naruto gave Temari a dry look, "Wow, don't you just want to buy him an ice cream and give him a hug?" Naruto chuckled and pulled Temari to her feet to drag her back out in front of Gaara. Naruto put on his best shit-eating grin, "Sorry about that, technical difficulties and all that. But we're back now with the 'Whip Gaara's Homicidal Ass' show with a special guest, the beautiful Sabaku no Temari… and clones!"

Naruto formed the seal for kage bunshin and again spawned them all in front of Temari and himself, each with matching mischievous smirks on their faces. The original formed a big blue fireball as the copies followed suit and blasted Gaara as the universal cry rang out, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!"

As the clones bombarded Gaara with fire Temari watched on before she felt Naruto nudge her with his elbow, "Hey when we throw this salvo use a futon technique to add some kick to it, it doesn't have to be massive, I just need a boost for my fire."

Temari nodded and pulled her fan back for a mighty swing as the second wave of fireballs flew from the grasp of the bunshin, "Fuuton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!"

Naruto had actually grossly underestimated Temari's skill with futon. Instead of just giving a little heat and speed boost to his fireballs she managed to merge them all together and then send them at Gaara in the form of a spinning fiery cyclonic shit-storm, and instead of the usual blue color it went white-hot.

XxX

Rin and Anko looked off into the distance as their jaws dropped at the sight of the burning beacon in the night. Anko sweat-dropped, "The brat?"

Rin nodded, "Probably."

XxX

"WHOO! YEAH! That was two parts awesome and three parts win! Oh man… I want my next partner to fight just like that, that was epic!" Naruto had lifted Temari and began spinning her around gleefully as his inner sociopath had seemingly been satisfied with the wanton display of widespread arson from their combination attack.

Temari forced Naruto to put her down as she looked at the destructive attack rage on, "Gaara! Oh Kami, we killed him!"

Naruto waved off her concern nonchalantly, "Oh pshaw. He's just faking it." Naruto cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted into the raging inferno, "Hey 'Ringo'! Get your crazy ass out here and have some fun with me! You ain't dead… yet!"

Right on cue the flames started to dissipate showing Gaara breathing raggedly in the middle of scorched earth, with a shiny coating on most of his body. Naruto scratched his head, "Huh… I would have thought the super-heated air would have at least made him black out. Stubborn asshole…"

Naruto shrugged and rushed in, "Be right back!" Naruto cocked back his fist and punched Gaara right in the face forcing a crack to appear on his chin, but otherwise, Gaara wasn't even moving.

Naruto laughed out loud, "Holy shit! We made him into a glass figurine! I wonder how fragile he is?" Naruto began to unleash rapid-fire punches on Gaara's prone form before cracking Gaara's encased head with a hammer fist. Upon freedom of his noggin Gaara took deep breaths of air.

Naruto rested his hands on Gaara's still encased shoulders and head-butted him right in the face, forcing blood to begin pouring from his nose. Gaara's eye twitched at such an unfamiliar feeling before he looked down and saw blood dripping down his glass casing, "AAHH! BLOOD! MY BLOOD!"

Naruto backed up to watch Gaara freak out as he squirmed his head to try and get free, "Yeah, you see when I headbutt you right in the face people usually tend to bleed. It's normal."

"NO! HE HURT ME!"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow before turning back to walk over near Temari. By now Kankuro had moved next to her out in the open. Naruto shook his head at Gaara's cries of anguish towards pain, "You'd think he'd never gotten hit before. Kami that's embarrassing."

Kankuro lifted his hand like he was in school, "Um, he never has gotten hit before, not like that."

Slowly a massive grin started peeking through on Naruto's face, "I knew I was awesome! I make the impossible commonplace!"

Temari allowed a small smile to come onto her face as she clutched her chest, "You won… And you didn't kill him. Thank you so much."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Of course I did! If you hang around me enough you start to learn not to doubt me. I mean, I am the greatest man that ever lived, period. Am I right? Come on now…"

Naruto's gloating was put into the category of background noise as Gaara decided to make his presence known again, "HOW! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME!"

Naruto whipped around with a tick-mark on his head, "Hey! Shut the fuck up! I'm getting my gloat on!"

Gaara just kept on wailing, "I WILL NOT DISAPPEAR! I WON'T CEASE TO EXIST!"

Naruto was getting agitated, "Hey you dumb-ass, I'm not going to kill you, so just sit still like a good maniac why don't you?"

"NO!"

Suddenly the area went silent before a shaking noise made itself known. The siblings grabbed Naruto and leapt atop a stand as sand came from every which way around the epicenter, Gaara. The sand began to build and from what looked like a giant tanuki.

Naruto looked on in awe at Gaara's new form, "Hey, that thing that your old man did to Gaara… It wouldn't have happened to involve some kind of artificial bio-material would it?"

Kankuro's teeth were chattering, "I-I-I d-don't know… W-W-Why?"

"UZUMAKI!"

Naruto smacked his lips in the dry desert air, "Oh… no real reason."

* * *

**Back in the saddle with my next installment of the story you are currently getting your jollies from reading. I base the style I tell this story off of the three S's: Storytelling, Stupid Jokes, and Spelling.**

**I might come out with another chapter of this and two chapters of Fullmetal Shinobi, my other story, before the weekend is out because I kick ass like that. Seeing as how I have a direction I want to go in for the next few chapters in Fullmetal Shinobi, and I know how I want the fight with Gaara to end in Naruto: S.O.F. I will be speeding up the overall output of chapters over the course of whenever the hell I feel like, so stay frosty.**

**Hope you have enjoyed, review if you did or didn't. It helps me adjust my greatness for the enjoyment of the many.**

**Kenchi out, UFC Undisputed 2010 awaits…**


	17. Random Hero

Review Shoutouts

**Inari no Sasuke: He called him 'Ringo' for the rings around his eyes. I'm trying to make Naruto a loudmouthed smartass during the beginning of fights. Not sure I've gotten that across though.**

**FANATIC1229: I'm sure you already know the answer to that, just keep on reading and learn son.**

**Jyuubi6: It's worth a thought. Good idea, I might go with that, not sure though.**

**Funwithfire: I feel your pain. Being broke sucks, last semester had me eating fucking cup ramen for my one/two meals a day. Time to stockpile some cash for my next go around. Luckily I can mooch off of my parents for the summer, because that's what heroes do!**

**none: …Amazing… Oh shit! I'm listening, I'm listening! Calm the fuck down, you're gon' get me shot!**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… I use curse words far too liberally to be even anywhere near considered to be Japanese… motherfucker.

**Chapter 17: Random Hero**

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"Huh… You know he kind of looks like that mythical old demon. You know, Shukaku the sand spirit, Ichibi no Shukaku."

Gaara's massive transformed state shocked his two siblings, but it only really pissed off Naruto, 'That son-of-bitch! He actually HAS his ascended form? I still don't have mine yet!' After hearing Gaara's story from Kankuro and Temari, actually seeing Gaara's traits, and now seeing his massive ascended form Naruto had come to the conclusion that Gaara was a hanyo like himself, artificially made, seeing as how no one in his family had any demonic blood.

Naruto looked over at Temari and Kankuro, who were frozen in place out of sheer terror from seeing the monster their brother had become, "Hey did you guys know he could do this?"

Temari shook her head no while still staring at Gaara. Kankuro was shocked at how casually Naruto was taking the whole situation, "Aren't you scared of that thing? It's fucking huge! It would probably squash you by accident!"

Naruto cleaned the dirt out of his ears to appear nonchalant, "No, because he's still Gaara, even in his massive sand-creature form. Look." Naruto pointed up at the speck on the creature's head to show Gaara was sticking out. "He's still Gaara, which means he still has a glass jaw seeing as how he's never taken a real shot before. All I have to do is pop him one good one and he'll fold up like a cheap-ass lawn chair."

Kankuro sweat-dropped, "Yeah, but how the hell are you going to get to him this time?"

Naruto stroked his chin in thought, "I don't know…"

Kankuro palmed his forehead, "We're all dead…"

Naruto slapped him across the back of the head, "Aw shut up. You get your sister the hell out of dodge and I'll think of something to win."

Kankuro grabbed Temari's arm to try and lead her away before turning back to Naruto, "Are you sure you want to do this? We _can_ still cut our losses and run away. I'm pretty sure Kesei is dead so we don't have to beat Gaara."

Naruto began to stretch, "Yeah I'm sure. The only difference between this and the first part of the fight is that instead of defending he'll be going berserker all over me trying to kill me. I can handle it. Get out of here."

Kankuro tucked Temari's arm over his shoulder, "You're insane you know that?"

Naruto looked at Gaara's demon form and nodded, "Insanity is relative to personal normality."

Kankuro raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Naruto scoffed, "Just get somewhere safe…" After Kankuro leapt away Naruto returned his attention to Gaara, "Now where were we?"

Gaara's voice rang out across the space between them, "I'll kill you Uzumaki! Beating such a strong enemy like yourself will prove my existence once and for all!"

Naruto sighed and flexed his claws, "What existence? All you do is kill people, what kind of existence is that? And you do know that without your help Kesei is already more than likely dead don't you?"

Gaara laughed loudly from his spot at the top of the sand tanuki's head, "If he's dead then I really can start proving my existence! That man's life makes no difference to me, father or not!"

Naruto stared at his crazed foe, "What exactly is your existence anyway? And what do I have to do with it. I'm just doing my job! I'm not even trying to kill you, you're just in the way, so I'm getting you out of the way!"

Gaara's manic grin could plainly be seen from even where Naruto was standing, "My existence is simply to destroy everyone! To kill anyone that can possibly threaten my right to just live. And you are the greatest threat to my existence that there is!"

Naruto wanted to pull out his hair, "I'm not trying to kill you, you douche! Chill out!"

The next moment Gaara's massive sand form inhaled air from its mouth and mouths all over its body, much to Naruto's chagrin, "Oh no…"

As the creature's belly began to protrude Gaara shouted out the name of the technique, "Fuuton: Mugen Sajin Daitoppa (Wind Release: Sandstorm Devastation)!"

Upon opening its mouth it let loose the Shukaku figure released a destructive sandstorm. In an effort to get away Naruto ducked behind one of the stands set up for the festival. But it gave way quickly under the force of the attack and went flying along with Naruto.

The wind attack blew Naruto over the edge of the canyon sending him flying into the crevice below. Naruto bounced off of rocks and rolled through cacti on his way to the canyon floor. After bouncing and taking horrid falls the entire way down Naruto sprawled out motionless on the ground, blood running off of all of his grievous wounds. His clothes at this point were tattered rags that could barely cover his cut up body.

Naruto simply laid there on the ground, 'What a powerful attack…' Naruto tried moving, but even with his own incredible healing skills he needed more time, more time then he knew he was going to get, if he even wanted to stand up after that, 'So that's the difference between my power and the power of a hanyo in its ascended form, I'm just glad it wasn't a real demon.'

The dull thuds in the distance signified to Naruto that Gaara was coming, and he was, for all intents and purposes, utterly fucked. There wasn't a single part of his skeletal system that was left untouched from his fall into the canyon, 'I'm amazed I'm not dead yet…'

"UZUMAKI!"

Naruto attempted to move his arms only to yelp in pain as he realized just how hurt he really was, "Damn it… I can't get up and run… I can't even move."

XxX

Back in the un-ruined area of the fairgrounds, Anko pouted as the 'fight' between Kesei and Baki dragged on, "Come on veil-face, just kill him already so we can finish the mission! I'm sick of this desert."

Baki had Kesei up against a wall and was cutting him in non-lethal areas with his Kaze no Yaiba (Blades of Wind). The fight, really hadn't been much of one. More like a through beating that Rin never even got herself involved in and Anko had slowly been fazed out of. Baki pretty much ended up taking over and venting his years and years of letting this person terrorize his home.

Rin yawned out of boredom, this had been going on for far too long, she wanted to end the mission and go home too. Movement caught her eye as she saw Kankuro and Temari rushing over to them with a fearful look on their faces.

Anko noticed them too and called out as they got closer, "Hey there you two are! Come to get in your shots on your dad before he dies? Well good luck with that, Baki's hogging all the action."

Kankuro bypassed her and ran right up to Rin who was confused until she noticed who wasn't with them, "Where's Naruto-kun?"

Kankuro had his hands on his knees panting, "That's why we're here. He's still fighting Gaara. He was winning, and then Gaara turned into some kind of giant monster made of sand. There's no way that kid can keep fighting against that thing and live! We came to get you guys so we can all get him out of there. Stopping Gaara isn't as important as getting out of here alive, and Temari and I can't do it ourselves, come on!"

Rin was gritting her teeth in fear of the teenage boy that had come to calling 'neechan' since he was young, "Anko come on! Naruto is in trouble! Baki can handle the rest of this mission himself, let's get Naruto!"

Anko scoffed and shook her head, "We have to save the gaki? So he really couldn't handle the red-haired kid after all?" She pulled out a pair of kunai and motioned for the sand siblings to lead the way.

Temari growled at Anko's insinuation, "Well I would love to see how you do against Gaara right now, but it doesn't matter. You'll see what he's fighting soon enough. Come on let's go already! It's our fault in the first place, we're the ones who told him not to kill Gaara, he could have finished this before all hell broke loose if we hadn't told him not to."

Rin nodded as Kankuro led them all to the last place they had seen the two fighting.

Baki had stopped his attack on Kesei in order to listen to the words being exchanged between his other partners until laughter was heard from the bloody, beaten man rising to his knees on he ground, "*laughs* So Gaara's even stronger than I ever thought he would be? Excellent, he will kill you all. You made a major mistake coming after me, you should have let everything stay as it was."

Baki spit on the ground nearby, "Even if Gaara could kill us, you won't be around to find out about it. You're still going to die right here, nothing has changed for you."

Kesei just kept laughing as he made a fist and tried to stand up. Suddenly he flung a handful of sand from the ground at Baki's face. Now this was actually worse than normal sand; a festival takes place on these grounds every year, festivals with lots of binge drinking. What do people drink out of usually? Glass bottles. Years of broken glass bottles in the sand mixed in glass shards with the granules of sand, making it a savage weapon.

Baki took most of it right in the eyes and shouted in agony as Kesei scrambled out of his near-death situation. Taking Baki's moment of blindness to flee from him he ran off after the other mercenaries to find his 'weapon.'

XxX

Naruto heard the thudding footsteps of Gaara's monstrous form growing louder, showing that he was getting close to the edge of the canyon. Naruto's arms were recovered enough that by this time he could pull himself along on his belly to try and find somewhere down there to hide and rest.

Naruto found a groove in the canyon wall and pulled himself inside to heal as he began picking cactus needles out of his arms and torso. Eventually he noticed a shadow pass over his view outside of the hole. Soon thereafter a massive slamming noise came from outside, "**UZUMAKI! STOP HIDING FROM ME! COME OUT AND FIGHT**!" Gaara's voice taking on a more psychotic tinge to it.

Naruto rubbed his legs as the pain from his injuries eventually forced them numb, "Man… he sounds pissed off. I can't stay here, who knows what he'll end up wrecking trying to find me."

Naruto channeled his youki throughout his body to speed up his recovery once again. Naruto groaned as he felt his ribs resetting inside of his body.

XxX

As Anko, Rin, Temari, and Kankuro arrived at the edge of the canyon they looked inside to see a massive, fifty-foot tanuki made of sand searching the canyon floor frantically. Anko voiced what her other elder partner was also thinking, "What the hell is that thing!"

Kankuro was sweating as the fear he felt earlier came back full blast, "That's Gaara. He turned into that thing when Naruto had him trapped and hurt. But where is Naruto himself?"

Rin's eyes widened, "No… He didn't did he? There's no way…"

They turned to the side as they heard cackling from a bloody Kesei, "Gaara! GAARA!"

Gaara turned to see Kesei motioning and yelling for him. Kesei seemed beside himself at seeing Gaara's powerful new form, "This is amazing Gaara! With such power at my disposal there would be no limit to what I could do!"

Kesei pointed at the others on the Cliffside, "Kill them and let's get out here Gaara! We have plans to make!"

Gaara turned away from him, ignoring his requests and kept scouring the canyon for his blonde adversary, "**UZUMAKI!**"

Temari smiled and put a hand on Rin's shoulder, "If he's still looking for him then that means he's still alive! We have to find him and get out of here!"

Kesei looked at Gaara's form, getting progressively angrier, "Gaara! You ignorant monster! Listen to me damn you! Kill these fools already, I gave you an order!"

Gaara turned back to face him, "**I** **am no longer interested in your orders or desires. I'm not interested in killing them… THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON I WANT TO KILL RIGHT NOW!**" Gaara lifted the arm of his massive tanuki and slammed it down on the side of the canyon.

The others immediately cleared the area, but Kesei had been heavily beaten and wounded by Baki beforehand and severely lacked any mobility. All he could do was watch the hand of the monster he created come crashing down upon himself with a scream of horror.

The swatting motion obliterated that area of the cliff, sending it crashing down into the canyon below. The only signs of Kesei having been there being a bloody smear mark dragging down into the rubble.

At this point Gaara took notice of Temari and Kankuro and remembered that Temari had been fighting alongside Naruto for a moment, "**WHERE IS UZUMAKI!**" Gaara sent out a mass amount of sand shuriken from his body at the entire group.

The entire team dodged the attacks handily enough, putting Gaara's attention solely on them. Anko looked up at the massive creature, "How are we supposed to beat this guy? He's huge! And the kid was fighting him before this? Alone?"

XxX

Naruto got enough time to heal that he could stand back up and walk outside, but he was still a mess. He had no idea how he was going to win this fight, he had to get to the top of the tanuki's head to get to Gaara, and there was nothing that could help him get up there. Add on the fact that he was trapped in the canyon with Gaara, and he could honestly say he was terrified of continuing the fight with Gaara.

Naruto limped to the edge of the hole in the canyon wall and looked out to see Gaara turned around attacking something on the top of the canyon. Naruto bit his lip as he realized that all of the others were up there, 'Not good. All of them are utterly useless against Gaara in this form. None of them have the raw power to hurt him and bring him down.'

Out of all of his allies only Temari had skills that could allow her to brute force her way through most enemies. Baki was a decent second but from there the quality of powerful attacks dropped off considerably. This was the main reason he elected to do the bulk of the fighting against Gaara in the first place, because he had the raw speed and strength that the others sorely lacked, something that was necessary to get through an 'ultimate defense.' Skill alone wouldn't have been enough.

But now Gaara was basically bullying them around with raw power that Naruto, who was supposed to be the muscle of the team, couldn't find it in him to match. But he knew he had to get out there anyway. It was his fight, and he wasn't going to let anyone die that didn't have to today.

XxX

Gaara's raw control of sand increased exponentially after his transformation. He took to manipulating the sand that the others were fighting on, attempting to snatch them up with waves of the stuff, or trying to set up sink-holes that they would fall into so that he could crush them under the ground. All in all, it was a very deadly annoyance.

Kankuro had no way to actually attack Gaara. Even if he could get his puppet combat ready, Gaara just had too many ways to neutralize whatever meager threat Karasu would pose him. It was basically a game of dodge and survive.

Rin couldn't fight him either. She was a medic first, a fighter second. She didn't possess any high-level techniques that could potentially devastate Gaara, nor did she have an absurd amount of raw physical skill. Like Kankuro, she was simply going to have to avoid anything Gaara could do until something changed. She did find a use when Baki stumbled onto the scene bleeding from his eyes. She took to trying to heal his eyes and keep him out of the battle, effectively removing them both.

Anko and Temari were the only ones that could even think of trying to fight back, however futile it actually was. The two were actually in the act of enacting a plan. Anko was pelting the massive body with kunai that had metal wire attached to it. This left Temari to keep Gaara's attacks away from them both by blowing them away with her futon jutsu.

"Are you done yet Anko? I'm starting to run out of chakra here!" Temari blew away another wave of Gaara's sand coming to capture them both, "This better work or we might as well quit and let him kill us!"

Anko launched her last kunai that hit the entire figure dead-center in the neck, "I'm ready. Don't worry sand-brat, this should be the finish. I need a drink when this is over." Anko placed the collective wire into her mouth and began hand signs, "Hebi, Tatsu, Usagi, Tora! Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Flame Jutsu)!"

All of the wire she had attached to the kunai currently stuck in Gaara's Shukaku body caught fire just as Temari pulled her fan back, prepared to give the attack a little boost, 'This is it. I don't have enough chakra for another attack like this again.' "Kamaitachi no Jutsu (Wind Scythe Jutsu)!"

Alongside Temari's powerful blast of wind the fire kick-started down the length of the wire rapidly as the size of the flames doubled. The frame of the Shukaku became engulfed in flames as Gaara's shouts of pain went up through the night.

Anko fell out on the ground with a smile as she gave a thumbs up to Temari, "I knew that would get him…"

Temari looked at the inferno sadly, "Yeah, but… He's my brother. It doesn't feel right killing him like that."

"**STOP WASTING MY TIME!**"

The fire vanished as it showed a layer of glass flaking off of the sandy body of the monster. Gaara at the top of the head still looked utterly unharmed other than the blood caking his front from Naruto's earlier headbutt. Gaara had a crazed grin on his face as he put out his hand towards the women.

Temari noticed the sand where Anko was sitting stir and rushed over to shove her out of her place. As she did this the sand snatched her up instead, capturing her in a shell of sand.

"Temari no!" Kankuro attempted to rush over to her aid but was stopped by Baki's commanding voice.

"Kankuro stop! There's nothing you can do now! If you run in you'll be killed yourself."

Kankuro snapped around to Baki who had bandages around his eyes, "That's my sister damn it! My sister that's about to get killed by my brother! And you want me to stay here and just watch!"

Rin put a hand on his shoulder and held him in place, "Well what can you do if you're both dead."

"**UZUMAKI COME OUT NOW OR THE GIRL IS DEAD!**"

Rin cringed at the tone of Gaara's voice, "Kami, he still wants to fight Naruto even now? Where is Naruto anyway?"

XxX

Naruto heard Gaara's yell, 'Girl? He caught one of them?' He sucked up his pain and hobbled out of the groove in the wall, "Gaara!"

Gaara saw Naruto emerge from the canyon wall and licked his lips in anticipation, "**FINALLY!**" Gaara forced Temari's sand prison to levitate high enough for Naruto to see, "**NOW FIGHT ME! SHOW ME THE POWER THAT INJURED ME!**"

Naruto held his ribs as he looked up at his towering enemy, "What do you want from me! You broke my entire body! I can barely walk right now and you want me to 'show you my power?' I. CAN'T. FIGHT!"

Gaara visibly frowned, "**I thought you were strong Uzumaki, but you're just as weak as all of the rest.**" He turned to Temari and slightly clinched his hand forcing his sand to constrict enough to elicit a painful yell from her, "**FIGHT ME OR I WILL KILL HER!**"

Naruto clinched his fists, the fact that he was unconsciously channeling youki to form his claws forced him to cut into his own palms, "She's your sister you bastard! Not some bargaining tool you can use to provoke me to fight you!"

Gaara laughed raucously, "**Sister… Siblings… THOSE WORDS MEAN NOTHING TO ME! I CAN KILL HER JUST AS EASILY AS ANYONE ELSE! SHE'S WEAK! AND THE WEAK DIE!**"

Naruto bared his elongated fangs as he triggered even more of his demonic powers, "She's the only reason you aren't dead right now! I could have killed you twice by now! Once when the fight first started and again when I encased you in glass. I could've- No! I should have killed you! She is the reason I didn't you ungrateful son-of-a-bitch!"

"**IF SHE REALLY MEANS SO LITTLE TO YOU THEN I GUESS I SHOULD JUST GET RID OF HER AND KILL ANOTHER OF THOSE PEOPLE UP THERE? I WONDER HOW MANY OF THEM IT WILL TAKE BEFORE YOU GET THE POINT AND FIGHT ME!**" Gaara accentuated his point by forcing the sand to squeeze Temari even more, enough so that blood came from her mouth, the sign of internal injuries.

Naruto growled and shouted, "Enough! Fight me! I'm the one you want! Leave her alone! Put her down and fight me instead!"

Gaara shook the head of his massive creature, "**No… You're heart isn't in it. You don't care about your own survival. SO MAYBE WHEN I START SLAUGHTERING ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS YOU'LL FINALLY GROW A BACKBONE AND FIGHT!**"

"I said that's enough!" Naruto began a sprint out towards Gaara's giant form, but with the least of his injuries being cracked bones he couldn't gain a decent amount of speed. Something that disgusted Gaara.

"**USELESS! ****SABAKU SOSO-**"

"Noo**ooooo!**"

The sand exploded as a sick grin appeared on Gaara's face until he realized that there was no blood after the attack, every time he had done the attack prior to this it usually resulted in a considerable amount of gore, and the lack of carnage in this instance confused Gaara.

A sudden burst of powerful energy made Gaara look over to where all of the other mercenaries were situated. A new figure was standing with them setting Temari on the ground gently, "**Wow… well that certainly felt faster than last time.**" The sound of his voice was gravelly, but it still had the telling signs of it being Naruto's voice.

Rin's eyes were widened at Naruto's new look. It was different than the first time he activated his ascended form. Like last time his spiky hair had grown to the point of flowing down his back and he had the markings all over his body, but that was where the similarities ended. His new look had him with white hair and white fox ears sticking out from the top of his head, his whisker marks were darker and rougher and his eyes looked more feral, along with that his fangs jutted out over his lip. And probably the most noticeable thing was the bushy white tail tipped with black.

She walked over to Naruto and cupped his face in her hands, "Naruto-kun?" He looked back at her with a confused expression, which looked pretty strange with those features, "Is that you? Are you alright?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "**Well I assume I must look pretty strange right now huh?**" His attention was drawn away by Temari coughing up blood as she tried to fight for air, "**I'll try to explain this later. Help Temari now. I'll handle Gaara.**"

Rin nodded and ran over to begin assisting Temari. Kankuro walked over and stood in front of Naruto, "Don't even bother going back in to fight him. There's no reason anymore, Kesei is dead, the mission is over."

Naruto barked out a sharp laugh, "**Do you really think he'll just let us go? He'll just chase us down until he kills us, and then he'll move on the next person, and the next, and the next. It won't end until someone beats him.**"

Kankuro looked incredibly skeptical, "And you're the one that's going to do it?"

Naruto chuckled in his warped voice, "**These looks of mine aren't just for aesthetics. I'm all healed up, I'm faster, I'm stronger…**" Naruto looked over at Gaara still towering over the edge of the canyon, "**And I'm pissed the fuck off.**"

Naruto's eye began to twitch as he felt Anko tugging roughly on his ears from behind, "**Having fun back there? You know I do have to go fight…**"

Anko smirked and let go, "Sorry, I just had to. You go and handle that though furry-gaki, good luck."

Naruto snorted as he began walking away from the group towards the battle. Gaara's face had a look of unbridled excitement on it, "**FINALLY! THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE POWER I WANTED TO SEE!**"

Naruto's increased hearing in this form really bit him in the ass right there. He reached up and cleaned out his ear, "**You are very loud do you know that? I think I need to send you a green spandex body-suit or something.**"

Gaara was almost frothing at the mouth at the prospects of this battle, "**Don't you run away again Uzumaki… I will kill all of those people if you do.**"

Naruto formed a small blue flame on his fingertip, "**Yeah, I got it… ****Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)…**" At that the blue flame exploded in size to roughly that of Naruto himself before settling back down to normal size, only this time flickering wisps of white ran through the fireball, "***chuckle* Strong… I like that. This is what you wanted Gaara, I hope your bitch-ass likes it.**"

Naruto wound up and threw the fireball at Gaara who lifted his tanuki's sandy claw to block it. Upon contact the fireball exploded, blowing off the hand entirely at the wrist. Naruto took this moment to rush in to close the distance between them. Gaara tried manipulating the sand around Naruto to trap him, but Naruto cut right through the sand with his claws and proceeded forward.

"**All right, let's give this body a test drive…**" Once Naruto got to the edge of the canyon he jumped at the Shukaku figure. Gaara saw him coming and took a swing at him in the air, but Naruto simply landed on the arm and ran up it towards the shoulder, "**Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!**"

Naruto cut the arm off at the shoulder and jumped back into the air to prepare another attack. Gaara was ready however, "**NOW YOU DIE UZUMAKI! ****Fuuton: Renkuudan (Wind Release: Drilling Air Bullet)!**"

Gaara shot his wind projectile into the air and watched it explode once it reached Naruto, "**AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD!**"

"**Whatcha lookin' at Gaara?**"

Gaara looked at the source of the voice to see Naruto leaning against the head of Shukaku, grinning with his fangs showing prominently. Naruto wound up a fist and punched its head sending the entire frame crashing into the ground, kicking up dust high above the canyon.

XxX

"Holy crap…" Kankuro could only look on in disbelief, "How many times can I be surprised by this kid in twenty-four hours? I really should be expecting it by now."

Anko was bouncing in place excitedly (For the dudes out there, I want you to stop and imagine that for a second…. Awesome…). She grabbed Rin by the collar, "Rin-Rin why didn't you tell me the gaki was this strong? You let me think he was just some random brat."

Rin looked at Anko blankly, blinking a few times, "I didn't know he could do this honestly…" Rin broke out in a huge smile, "Kakashi-kun and Obito are gonna be so jealous when I tell them about this… Those bastards owe me from letting me miss his tryout a few months ago. Obito still hasn't let me see the tape yet… teme."

XxX

Naruto coughed a little bit as he dusted himself off amid the clouds of dirt in the air, "**Gaara… You dead yet?**"

The ground began to rumble as fully re-animated Shukaku stood back up. Naruto sighed and shook his head, "**I guess not huh?**"

Naruto raised an eyebrow as he saw the large amount of air being taken in once more by Gaara's monster, "**Oh shit.**"

As the belly of the tanuki expanded Gaara cackle wildly, "**DODGE ME THIS TIME UZUMAKI! ****Fuuton: Renkuudan!**" Gaara had Naruto trapped at the bottom of the canyon with no feasible way to dodge the attack. Knowing this, Gaara channeled all of the power he could into the jutsu, fully intent on ending Naruto's life with this one shot.

Meanwhile on the ground Naruto was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, "**Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! OH SHIT! I'm so dead!**" Suddenly he stopped as thoughts ran through his head, seemingly randomly, but strangely they seemed logical to him. After the thought finished Naruto shrugged, "**Ugh… Why not… I'm screwed anyway so let's try it.**"

As he saw the shockwave forming in front of the mouth of the Shukaku growing massive in width Naruto began to generate his youki to the extent that the red power was visible around his body. Naruto opened his mouth and took a deep breath before focusing all of his power to that point. Eventually a ball of demonic energy formed in front of his mouth the size of his head.

Naruto grabbed it and looked it over, and then looked up at Gaara, "**…Nope, not big enough.**" Naruto held the ball in his hands and pumped even more power into it, watching it expand in size as he rapidly gathered youki into it.

Gaara finished charging his jutsu and looked down at Naruto, "**Now DIE!**" Gaara shot off the move down to the ground at the white-haired teen.

Naruto's eyes widened as he pointed the giant energy ball up at Gaara's giant wind ball, "**Umm… What was this stupid thing supposed to be called?** **Uh, uh… Oh yeah! ****Imari (Menacing Ball)!**"

Upon being released the ball expanded even further, much to Naruto's surprise and clashed with Gaara's. By 'clashed' I mean 'completely owned and engulfed' before moving on to Gaara himself.

The resulting explosion of vile chakra took out Gaara, left a massive crater, and crumbled the walls of the canyon in one shot.

XxX

Naruto pulled himself from the rubble and began walking forward through the wreckage, "***cough cough* Okay… I guess the original ball **_**would have been**_** big enough after all, no need to supersize it. Good to know.**"

Naruto eventually saw Gaara sticking out of his own rubble, groaning in unconsciousness. Naruto grinned widely and pumped his fist in celebration while muttering under his breath, "**I am the greatest man that EVER lived!**"

"Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked up to see Rin, Anko, and Kankuro looking down into the canyon at him, "**Rin-neechan! Yo!**"

Kankuro chuckled in disbelief, "And of course he won… Why not? Let's go with that."

Anko grinned, "Good on you furry-gaki! Way to blow stuff up!"

Rin shook her head and looked the scene over, marveling at the smoldering battlefield, "Are you okay? Do you need help?"

Naruto smirked and waved at them, "**I'm fine!**" He then jerked his thumb towards the beaten Gaara, "**He's not!**" Naruto then felt his body give out as he sat down and heaved a great sigh in exhaustion, pulling the rest of the tattered rags that used to be his shirt off, "**Now someone get down here and get me the hell out of here already! I still have cactus needles in my ass!**"

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**Chapter up. Enjoy. **

**My brother is graduating this week, so I'm going to be spending a lot of time trying to fuck with him. I'm going to go to his high school parking lot after school and run amok sometime next week with me, three other guys that graduated last year, some water guns, and a shitload of water balloons and do drive-bys. Why you ask? I say why not? What are they going to do about it?**

**A new chapter of both my stories should be up in one or two days for both, so stay frosty. I'm going to bed, it's one in the morning and I have stuff to do in the morning.**

**Kenchi out, and fuck carrots, that's all I'm going to say.**

**P.S. I just realized that "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys goes hard. Seriously, that song is absolutely amazing.**


	18. Welcome Back Naruto

Review Shoutouts

**bathedinblood: Thanks a lot. And yes,everybody does love a smart-ass… As long as he isn't directed at you.**

**snipa: Yes I did have fun running amok, and since it was right after their practice graduation they NEVER. SAW IT. COMING!**

**none: I'm glad you enjoyed that little visual as much as I enjoyed writing it. And I don't have to learn from your PS3 mistake, I lived it myself… In the days before I got a laptop (circa: this time last year).**

**bumike99: You are all welcome for the Anko scene. Really, it was my pleasure.**

**Jyuubi6: That is my favorite quote, I like it even more due to the fact that I came up with it myself so using it is a blast. And I didn't really have a pairing for Sasuke in mind yet anyway, it sounded good though.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Neither do you. Let's all not own Naruto together. I'm bringin' the Funyons and dip! Who's bringing the pizza?

**Chapter 18: Welcome Back Naruto**

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(Two Days after Suna mission - Konohagakure – Kaisha Hein HQ)

"Rin-neechan get off of me! I'm fine!"

Ever since they had returned from Sunagakure, Rin had been fussing over Naruto. Even after seeing he had turned back to normal from his ascended form she hounded him on his look, seeing as growing a tail and ears wasn't really something that most people think is too healthy, even more so when they vanish just as quickly as they appear. Naruto had simply told her it was a new jutsu, to keep her from asking more questions he simply said he wasn't done with it yet.

Naruto sighed as Rin did another run-through of his head, "Neechan, my own girlfriend doesn't touch on my face this much…"

Rin's poking and prodding at Naruto was actually staring to work his last nerve, "Rin-neechan I love you, but if your hands come anywhere near my mouth again I'm taking one of those digits as payment/lunch."

Being lazy as all hell in certain situations, Naruto had taken to commandeering his own place inside of Kakashi, Obito, and Rin's office instead of waiting to be given his own. It was just a formality, most rookies like Naruto had to wander the halls so that they could be given gofer jobs such as lunch-getter, or document delivery, or human test-dummy when someone had a new technique developed. It was all supposed to be part of the hazing process, however it was kind of hard to haze someone when you had to look for them, this is the conclusion Naruto came to after a time period of doing the B.S. odd-jobs.

On that note he ended up taking refuge in the office of the veteran mercenaries on a regular basis, deeming that they all had quirks that wouldn't allow them to mess with him like other rookies.

Rin, she loved Naruto like her little brother. If she got too irksome for him all he really had to do was throw on the old-school quivering puppy-dog eyes. He had to wonder how much longer that would end up working for him…

Obito hated the entire hazing process saying that all the lazy ass people working here can do their own shit. Needless to say he didn't care much that Naruto had managed to duck the entire process altogether, he was actually a little proud.

Kakashi, simply didn't give a damn about it. He would half-heartedly admonish Naruto about how he had to cut his teeth and deal with it, but he didn't give Naruto any asinine orders or turn him in to other higher ups either. He and Obito did try to blame him for the crap they knew Rin would bust their asses for though, but when it came time to put the blame on the kid there strangely wasn't a blonde hair in sight.

Rin had forced him to sit on the desk in the room like a makeshift doctor's table and had been messing with him trying to trigger his bodily changes for almost an hour, "Naruto-kun it's just strange okay? And we didn't even know you could do that. Who taught you how to do that?"

Naruto dodged Rin's attempts to grab at his ears and sift through his hair, "It's something I've been messing with. I don't know how it came to mind." He lied, Rin didn't need to know about any of his demonic stuff yet, if at all.

"I didn't know you knew how to create any jutsu Naruto-kun, especially a supplementary one as powerful as that." She raised an eyebrow at that thought, "Who taught you what you needed to know to create your own jutsu. Kakashi isn't that negligent to teach a rookie how to do that."

Just as Naruto started to sweat, the masked man in question strolled into the office and dropped a stack of papers on the desk and looked at Naruto expectantly. Naruto and Kakashi stared at one another for a moment before Naruto spoke up, "So… What the hell is this?"

Rin threw her arms around Kakashi as he gave Naruto a one-eyed smile, "You're going on leave. Enjoy your week of doing nothing."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "On leave? Why the fuck am I going on leave? I've only been doing this for like three months? How am I supposed to pay my bills? What the fuck am I supposed to do for a week?"

"Oh I don't know… Maybe your girlfriend you flaming virgin!"

Naruto growled lowly as he saw Obito standing in the doorway, "You wanna run that by me one more 'gin?"

Obito smirked with a toothpick in his mouth, "Sure. Get laid, it's embarrassing hanging out with you. I swear, I'm single because I spend so much time around you kid, women can smell the virgin on you and it's starting to rub off onto me, it's scaring 'em away."

"Maybe you just fail at life?" Naruto pointed over at Kakashi and Rin, "What about Kakashi? He's married and I never hear him complain about not getting any?"

Kakashi spoke up in a serious fashion, "That's because my pimp status overrides your virgin vibes. Rin can't fight the pimping." Rin slapped Kakashi's head forcing him to eye-smile, "See?"

Obito began sniffing the air, "Do you guys smell that? *Sniff sniff* It, it, it smells like VIRGIN!"

Naruto rabidly lunged for Obito who took off down the hallway cackling like a lunatic with the incensed blonde hot on his heels until a kunai passed by his face, cutting his cheek. Anko appeared, draping herself over his shoulder, licking his cut, "Oh furry-gaki! Just the kid I'm looking for! I need your help real quick… Wait, you don't have the inoculations for foreign poisons yet do you?"

Naruto sweated, shaking slightly, "Uh I'd love to help Anko, really, but! But… I'm on leave!" Naruto looked around and quickly grabbed a girl in a pink Chinese-style shirt with her brown hair in buns, "Here take… what's your name babe?"

The girl was stunned by the entire situation, "Um… Tenten."

Naruto kawarimied with Tenten, putting her into Anko's grasp, "Right! Take Tenten! I'll see you both in a week!"

Anko growled and threw a kunai at Naruto who burst into smoke as a log hit the ground, kunai embedded. A voice rang out through the halls, "Later world! Smell my ass!"

Anko's jaw dropped as Tenten looked at the piece of wood on the ground, "Where'd he get the log?"

The voice rang out again, "It simply is! Do not question the logistics of the log!"

XxX

(Two Days Later – Uchiha Main Household)

As soon as Naruto entered the school grounds he was grabbed by Sasuke and grilled for a favor, access to his company's archives. Naruto however was incredibly stubborn on the matter, seeing as how he was being an ass about the whole matter. If Sasuke had come off a little less abrasive on the whole thing then maybe Naruto would have made the request a little easier to accept. So when Sasuke had threatened Naruto with some information that would have gotten him locked away for at least a month Naruto immediately headed over to his house.

However Sasuke wasn't there. He again was staying after school at the police station, and would end up coming home late.

As Sasuke opened the door to his house he stopped as an overwhelming presence came into his senses, 'I feel a disturbance in the force of my home.' Sasuke continued on inside as voices rang out from the living room as well as sounds from the TV.

"Suck it Itachi! How do you like that?"

"Language Naruto-kun…"

"Sorry Mikoto-kaasan, but he's way too good at this. I need to take him down a peg."

Sasuke rounded the corner and saw Naruto standing up, irritable scowl in place, with a controller in his hand. Next to him, Itachi was seated also holding a controller, while to the untrained eye his face looked impassive a closer look showed an underlying smirk on his features. At the other doorway of the room, Sasuke's mother was watching the proceedings on the TV as the two other boys were playing a racing game.

Naruto had a grin on his face, until on the screen another car P.I.T. maneuvered his own, sending it careening into the wall right before the finish line. Naruto had to hold back from ripping the controller apart and settled for throwing it onto the couch, "How in the hell did you do that? I was kicking your ass for the whole race!"

Itachi's car simply slid on into the finish line, "I'm just great like that. You should know this by now Naruto-kun."

"I can't believe this! I lost on every single track we used!" Naruto pointed at the screen excitedly, "That's fast! I used all of the shortcuts I knew and still lost! You straight had to cheat to beat me Itachi, that isn't cool."

Itachi's face didn't change, "If it was cheating they wouldn't have let it into the game."

Sasuke walked into the room, gaining the attention of those inside, "Who let you in my house Naruto?"

Mikoto smiled pleasantly, "Oh welcome home Sasuke dear. I let Naruto-kun in when he told me he was waiting on you. He was nice enough to help me out with some things around here."

Naruto waved it off, "Meh, you're almost like my real mom Mikoto-kaasan. It's no big deal to help you out sometimes. You work too hard."

Mikoto walked over to Naruto as she gave him a hug. Naruto looked back at Sasuke and Itachi grinning victoriously, "Naruto's a good boy."

Both Uchiha brothers involuntarily twitched when Sasuke sighed, "Right… Come on you idiot, we've got stuff to talk about." Naruto followed Sasuke from the living room to his room.

As soon as they entered Sasuke's room Naruto ran over and flipped onto his bed. Sasuke went over to his desk, retrieving a dossier of files, and walked over to Naruto, dropping the papers in front of him.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke blankly, "This is the second time this week that someone dropped a big-ass stack of papers in front of me and expected me to know what it is."

Sasuke took a seat at his desk, "These are the summarized case files on a man named Orochimaru from about thirteen years ago."

Naruto waited as Sasuke looked at him expectantly. Naruto gave Sasuke a dry look, "Alright, since it's obvious that you've been over this entire thing at least eight or nine times while I've been gone why don't you just tell me why I should give a rat's ass about this? Because you know damn well I'm not picking up and reading that folder full of deformed, bastardized logs just so you can talk about it."

Sasuke grunted as a tick mark appeared on his head, "Do you know how long it took to narrow down the relevant stuff and print all of the copies out?"

Naruto picked his ear and wiped it on the papers, "Not my problem. You should know I don't touch official sounding stuff like this with a ten-foot pole."

Sasuke smirked, "I know, that's why I'm calling in a favor on this one."

Naruto looked confused, "You're using a favor to make me read this? I probably won't even understand half of it."

Sasuke palmed his forehead, "No Naruto. I want you to dip into the archives of Kaisha Hein and pull up whatever you can on the name 'Orochimaru.'"

Naruto opened the folder and looked at the top page, an overall bio on Orochimaru, "What do you want with this guy?"

Sasuke rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm looking through old unsolved cases and something seems totally off about this one. My entire family was always one step behind this guy and then he just vanishes. Not hide nor hair of this guy has been seen in over ten years, something's up with that."

Naruto sighed, "You're positive that we have something on this guy that the police don't?"

Sasuke nodded, "You mercenaries always have something that we don't. I'm just using my resources."

Naruto stood up with a grin, "Watch out Sasuke, this is the first step towards being a dirty cop. Next you'll be using guys like me for shady stuff, accepting illegal black-ops missions, setting speed traps all over town. And don't think I don't know how much you love those cavity searches!"

Sasuke scowled at Naruto before his face went to normal, "Where are you going now?"

Naruto pulled out his phone and grinned, "I haven't seen Kyuubi-chan in almost two weeks and I've been back for two days." Naruto sighed and looked apprehensively at his contact list, "I shouldn't put off the ass-whupping I'm going to take any longer…"

Naruto left Sasuke's doorway, leaving the dark-haired boy alone in the room with the file, 'Orochimaru… There's something abnormal about all of this…'

"B-Baby look, I couldn't tell you where I was! …No I haven't been home yet. …_What_ happened to my apartment? …Woman why would you do that to me?"

"…"

"Hai… I'll be over soon… Love you too…"

Sasuke chuckled as he heard Naruto's solemn footsteps down the hall, "Whipped bastard…"

XxX

(The Next Day – South Konoha High School)

"Kwah-chik!"

"Fuck you Sasuke…"

Sasuke had an uncharacteristic grin on his face as he wandered the halls aimlessly with Naruto and Shikamaru, "Naruto Uzumaki, the kid that beats up gangsters for a workout, the kid that intentionally provokes full-fledged cops on the beat out of boredom, is utterly whipped."

Naruto gave Sasuke a serious look, "Get a girlfriend and you'll understand… Kami, Obito was right, I do need to get laid." Naruto perked up suddenly, "Oh! Obito says you and your robot brother need to visit sometime."

Sasuke chuckled at the thought of Obito, "How's he been doing? Mom wanted to ask you about him. Dad's still pissed off at him for getting discharged from the force."

Naruto rested his hands behind his head, "Obito's fine… He never liked all of the protocol and all of the stuff going on with you cops anyway. He really just wants to piss off Itachi and the rest of your tight-laced family again."

Shikamaru yawned audibly, "Listen this is riveting and all, but why did you drag me from class like that? I mean class is troublesome and all, but you two are probably going to be worse."

Naruto draped his arm over Shikamaru's shoulder, "Because you're smart, and we need your help. In exchange for this we're getting you out of school for the day so be grateful. We could always throw you back."

Shikamaru groaned but nodded," Fine, but do you mind if we get someone else too? I'm not doing this alone."

XxX

Chouji wandered the halls on his way back to class for second period. He loved study hall, you could do whatever you wanted, take as much time at the bathroom as you needed and pretty much just do nothing.

Chouji stopped as he saw a trail of Reese's Pieces on the ground. He happily walked over and picked it up, "Ooh a piece of candy." Looking up he saw another piece, he again happily strolled over and picked it up, "Ooh a piece of candy!"

He looked ahead and ignored the path they created.

"Ooh a piece of candy."

"Ooh a piece of candy."

"Ooh a piece of candy!"

"Ooh a piece of candy."

Chouji rounded the corner and followed the trail right towards an open locker, "Ooh a piece of candy."

Chouji reached inside the locker to grab the last piece he could see, "Ooh a piece of candy!"

Suddenly Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru shoved him inside and held the door shut. Chouji banged loudly on the locker until finally the struggling stopped. All three boys slinked down the locker and sat on the floor wiping their brows in exhaustion.

Naruto thumbed back at the locker, "I really hope that's him in there this time because I'm going to be really pissed off if it's me again."

XxX

(Naruto's Apartment)

Sitting in the living room around Naruto's coffee table was everything Naruto deemed useful to grab and make copies of on Orochimaru… which was quite a bit actually… because it was everything. The table had been filled and the four boys had taken to leaving some on the floor and even putting some on the island counter in the kitchen.

Sasuke's eye twitched as he looked at the mass of papers, "Dobe, you could have narrowed down some of the information a bit. It'll take forever to sort through this."

Naruto sat on his couch flipping through channels on his TV, "Whatever… Did you seriously think I was going to dig through this shit to find out what might be good to use? Why don't you use those fancy eyes and read like the wind."

Sasuke grumbled and shoved a mass of papers into Naruto's hands, "I'm calling in my other favor… Read."

Naruto smirked, "Nope, you already used your other favor."

Sasuke stood up enraged, "What? That's bullcrap! I only used the one so that I could even get this stuff in the first place! I still have one left!"

Naruto shook his finger chidingly, "No you don't deputy. You used the other one when you made me help you spring those two." Naruto pointed towards the kitchen where Shikamaru was sitting idly while watching Chouji raid his fridge, "Truancy is illegal you know…"

Naruto stood up, "Hey Chouji! I'm not made of money! Don't eat me out of house and home damn it, I have to pay for my own food!"

Naruto sat back down as Shikamaru walked over and took a seat on one of the chairs, "So what did you need me for?"

Sasuke looked over at the lazy boy, "You're smart. Really smart. We're not. Not at all. Especially this guy." Ignoring the 'fuck you Sasuke' from Naruto Sasuke kept explaining, "I need the help of a guy like you to help me make heads or tails of all of this."

Shikamaru looked like he was actually pondering on it before he shrugged and was about to stand back up with a 'troublesome' until Naruto spoke up, "Well if it helps, consider it like a puzzle or something."

That stopped him from leaving. Shikamaru sat back down and put his hands into an awkward looking pose as he stared at the papers blankly. Naruto and Sasuke looked at him, then at each other, then back at him.

"Did he just stroke out or something deputy?" Naruto moved to his seat and waved his hand in front of Shikamaru's face, snapping his fingers.

Sasuke shook his head, "Can't I know any normal people?"

Naruto jumped back onto his couch, "Being normal is boring and useless. Crazy people like us make the world go 'round."

Shikamaru stirred from his trance-like state. He looked over and picked up a paper, beginning to read, "Alright, let's see what I can find."

Sasuke smiled slightly, "Thanks a lot. I can pay you for helping me out with this." Shikamaru nodded before delving into his reading. Sasuke looked over to Naruto, "You see, I knew it was a good idea to drag him here."

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, "How the hell can you pay him for helping?"

Sasuke dug into his own pile of papers, "I got a research fund to help with all of this crap, they're treating this like I'm an active detective on the force."

A click of the front door revealed Kyuubi, who was confused as to all of the present company, "Okay? What are they all doing here?"

Naruto gave her a foxy grin, "Hey baby, I'm a kidnapper!"

Kyuubi raised an eyebrow as she walked into the apartment. Sasuke groaned at Naruto's answer, "It was a favor and we didn't kidnap anyone, we just borrowed them, they can leave whenever."

Kyuubi sighed and shook her head, "I wanted to talk to you, but you're currently entertaining company so…"

Naruto took the hint after looking around. He stood up and picked her up over his shoulder forcing her to squeak in surprise and took her to his room. Before shutting the door he stuck his head out into the hall, "If you idiots try to rob me while I'm in here then I'll rob_ you_, then I'll probably pee on you in your sleep."

After he shut his door and locked it Chouji looked away from his spot at Naruto's kitchen table, not feeling the need to finish his plate at the moment, "Do you guys really think he was serious about the whole 'rob-you-and-pee-on-you' thing?"

Sasuke never looked up, but shrugged, "Probably, but who would steal any of the cheap shit he has in here anyway? Not me that's for sure, I like to keep _nice_ things."

XxX

Naruto turned to find Kyuubi sitting on his bed waiting excitedly. Naruto chuckled and stood in front of her, he could swear from the look on her face that if she had a tail at the moment it would be wagging, "Well? What's up?"

The smile on her face vanished as a low growl cut from her throat, "Don't give me that. Show me your transformation. I knew you had it last night, I could smell it on you."

Naruto put his hands up defensively, "Alright, alright. I was just teasing you, just give me a second, I need to focus."

Naruto shut his eyes and focused on the feeling he had when he fought Gaara. The desire to protect the people that needed him, his anger at those that would hurt them, the excitement he got from a battle of that magnitude; all of these were triggers for his ascended form.

The feeling of water pouring over his body told him he had changed. He tested out his extra appendages, not having much trouble with the tail seeing as how it was just an extension of his spine.

Kyuubi stood up as a growing smile came on her face while she watched Naruto's body change. When it was complete she walked over to caress her boyfriend's face to look at his new features. She got a goofy grin out of him when she started stroking his darkened whisker marks. She giggled at the fanged grin on her now white-haired boyfriend.

After giving him a once over she clapped once in joy, "You finally did it! You triggered your second state! I'm proud of you. I knew you'd be a kitsune-hanyo like me."

Naruto grinned sheepishly as he reverted back to his original form, "Yeah I figured that there were different types after I fought the tanuki-kid Gaara in Suna."

Kyuubi engulfed him in a massive glomp, holding him tightly against her, much to his libido's chagrin as she quickly noticed with a grin, "You and I need to take our ascended forms and do a little… experimentation, if you know what I mean?" Naruto's jaw dropped as he began sputtering nonsense.

Kyuubi laughed with stars in her eyes as she pulled away from the flustered boy, "This is great! Now me and dad can teach you all kinds of cool things you can do with that form! It'll be easier because you're the same type as me."

Kyuubi gave Naruto a kiss as the boy pulled her onto his lap to sit on the bed, "So what are all of them doing outside?"

Naruto sighed and massaged his temple, "Sasuke is on about some kind of old unsolved case and he roped me and Shikamaru into helping. Chouji is just along for the ride."

Kyuubi huffed, "Is it that stupid Orochimaru case?" Upon seeing him nod she groaned, "He won't shut up about that thing. It was so boring just watching him deal with that stupid file while you were gone. He didn't even want to spar or anything."

Naruto's face took on a sinister grin, "Wait, so you're saying that he hasn't fought anyone in at least two weeks?"

Kyuubi blinked in confusion, "Yep."

Naruto chuckled darkly and gave her a kiss before setting her on the bed and heading for the door, shouting in a sing-song voice, "Oh deputy? How would you like to take a break and have a short little scrap with me?"

Kyuubi giggled as she watched Naruto jog gleefully down the hall.

XxX

(Three Days Later – South Konoha High School)

Sasuke and Shikamaru's partnership worked like this: After they split up the notes and files that they took interest in they would go over it at their own homes and re-convene and talk about what might have been interesting the next day at school during first period and lunch before repeating the process.

On this day Shikamaru came into class, Chouji in tow, with a determined look on his face. Sasuke noticed this and sat up straight in order to listen properly, "From the look on your face I assume you've found something of serious interest here."

Shikamaru smirked and sat down lazily, "Oh yeah… You know this hasn't been too troublesome at all. It's kind of interesting and the fact that I keep so many papers around keeps my mom off of my back because she thinks I'm studying, it's kind of win-win for me."

Sasuke shook his head, "You are one lazy bastard you know that?" Shikamaru just shrugged, "Alright, now you said you had something for me. What do you got?"

Shikamaru looked over to Naruto's seat where he saw the blonde asleep on his desk, "Shouldn't we get Naruto over here? He's involved in this too isn't he?"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto and then back at Shikamaru, "You of course know how Naruto is a mercenary right?" Shikamaru nodded, "Well let's just say he found perhaps the greatest way to skip school known to mankind." He pointed at Naruto, "Believe it or not, that isn't really Naruto."

Shikamaru's eyes widened, "What?"

Sasuke nodded, "It's probably his most obnoxious technique, but it makes life-like copies of him, they even act just like him and they know the things he knows." Sasuke shook his head pitifully, "I'd be surprised if he ever really came back to school again…"

Shikamaru cleared his throat, jealousy could wait for now, "Well I may have found something that could lead you to a deeper lead on this Orochimaru guy."

Sasuke pulled his seat closer subconsciously, "I'm listening."

Shikamar scratched his head, "Well I read that before he went on the run he was actually a pretty well-connected guy around here. He worked extensively with a lot of more of the influential figures around the city, I'm talking even the people like the Hyuugas."

Sasuke's brain was working on overdrive trying to make heads or tails of this guy when Shikamaru dropped some hand-written notes on the table, "He worked with quite a few people, but this one was the most prevalent. If I were you, I'd start here first. He had a closely knit relationship with a high profile doctor well known for her advanced experimental treatments and procedures."

Sasuke read into the notes, "Hmm… Tsunade Senju…"

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ)

Rin entered her office and narrowed her eyes at the sight, Naruto slumped over on the desk asleep and drooling. Rin walked over and slammed her hands on the wood, awaking the boy with a start. He looked up to see a displeased look on his surrogate sister's face, "Are you going to tell me what exactly you're doing here?"

Naruto wiped the excess drool from his mouth, "That depends, do you want to know what I'm doing here at headquarters? Or do you want to know exactly why I'm sleeping in your office?"

Rin crossed her arms impatiently, "Why don't you humor me and give me both?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Well, I'm at HQ because school is for suckers that don't have the means to get away." Rin growled as and Naruto chuckled nervously before he continued, "And I'm here, because I'm still tired, and when other mercs find out I skipped school and came here I don't need them looking for me on the training floor or somewhere they actually have a chance in hell of easily finding me. No one ever looks for me in your office, ever."

Rin sighed and sat down ,"Go to school Naruto-kun… I don't want to see you uneducated with nothing to fall back on if you get hurt doing this."

Naruto gave her a reassuring smile, "Relax Rin-neechan, it's just the week before exams. All they'll do is just give us remedial crap to help us study. I don't study anyway so I don't need to be there until next week."

Obito took that moment to walk in, "Hey runt, I thought you were supposed to be off until next week?"

Naruto grinned at him, "I was. But I just thought I would miss all of your cheerful faces if I was away for too long."

Obito shook his head with a serious look on his face, "Sucks for you then. You should have stayed away…"

This got the attention of both Rin and Naruto. Obito looked and sounded dead serious, Obito was never dead serious. Naruto ventured a response, "What? Why?"

Obito pointed upstairs, "The boss wants to see you kid."

* * *

**My dumbass brother is graduating high school tomorrow. To commemorate this 'milestone' in my younger sibling's days as just another brick in the wall of U.S. society I have painstakingly posted the next chapter for you all. Wasn't that nice of me?**

**It's time for me to start having some fun with this story. If you choose to go along for the ride then that's just fine with me so yeah. I'm going to do something actively productive now.**

**Read, review, do some stuff, whatever I'm gone.**

**Kenchi out.**


	19. Everybody Loves Rookies

Review Shoutouts

***There are no review shoutouts this time, because I am lazy as hell. Next time.***

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Owning things is overrated… Unless you live in a capitalist world like ours in which it is how you are judged in the eyes of everybody around you. I want to own stuff…

**Chapter 19: Everybody Loves Rookies**

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Naruto sat outside of the office on the bottom floor of the entire facility of Kaisha Hein HQ. While the HQ had maybe three stories visible to the outside public, within the building there were about ten floors built below that no one other than people that had permission had access to. No one was ever allowed on the bottom floor unless previously authorized. The only member of Kaisha Hein that had permission to go down there on a regular basis was Kakashi and he was useless when Naruto wanted to ask him what he was in for when he met the leader of the company.

Naruto was alone sitting out in front of massive double doors that were locked tightly. This was the first room he saw upon getting off of the elevator. Just a big door, and a bench, and there was no one around to talk to… and he had been waiting outside for two hours. Knocking resulted in no answer, and he was bored as hell.

The sound of the elevator dinging almost didn't register to his senses but his attention was finally gotten by a strange man poking him in the head, "Hey kid. You ok? You were spacing out there, it was kind of creepy."

Naruto looked up to see a white-haired man with red lines that looked like tear streaks going down his face. He had long white spiky hair going down his back in a ponytail and was considerably tall. Naruto blinked at realized that he was talking to him, "Oh, hey there. I'm fine, I'm just waiting for the guy inside to open the door so I can have a meeting with him. Are you trying to get in too?"

The tall man smirked at the teenage boy, "You could say that I guess…" He motioned for Naruto to stand up, "Well kid? You coming?"

An odd look from the blonde boy was his reply for a moment, "You can get me inside the room? This one right here? With the big-ass double doors that won't budge and with the lock that I can't pick open?"

"It's kind of easy to open a door when you have the key gaki." The man pulled a key from his pocket and stuck it in the lock, ignoring Naruto's shocked look, "Come on in brat." He proceeded to open the doors and walk inside.

Naruto hesitantly followed him inside, "You have the key? You're supposed to be in here?" He pointed at him as if he had, "Are you the janitor? …Do we even have a janitor? Seriously, I never see anyone around here cleaning a damn thing despite all of the stuff that goes down around here and yet the place seems clean."

The old man froze in place after hearing Naruto's asinine statement, "You really aren't very on the ball are you kid? Are you missing a few screws up there in that noggin of yours?"

Naruto was getting somewhat perturbed now, "Where is the damn boss of this peanut gallery upstairs? I've been waiting forever and now that I'm finally inside the only person I see is the janitor, that's great!"

A sweat-drop appeared on the strange man's head at the sound of Naruto's label for him, "I'm not a janitor kid. As a matter of fact, if you could label me with a normal occupation I guess you could say I'm a writer. It's a great cover."

The skepticism on Naruto's face was evident, "You? An author? You don't look like much of a writer." The man in question reached into his pocket and handed Naruto an orange novel that he found seriously familiar, Kakashi and Obito usually had one on their persons at all times, "WHAT! You write this shit?"

A grin appeared on the mystery man's face, "Why yes! Icha-Icha is one of the top selling series in the world and you're looking at man penning the greatness!" The book bounced off of his head hard and he turned a glare at Naruto, "What the hell you brat?"

Naruto pointed at the book as if it were an abomination of nature, "Kakashi and Obito read that crap all the time, and when they get caught by Rin-neechan they slip it on me and get me in trouble! I wouldn't touch that damn thing with a ten-foot pole. I don't need to read about getting some, I can get it myself."

"Oh? Details?" The man had a pad and a pen out waiting on Naruto who wasn't paying any attention.

Naruto looked away thoughfully, "Well there was right after I got back from Suna, Kyuubi-chan locked us in her room and we started up… Too bad her dad kicked the door down and chased me off… He almost cut me to ribbons that night. And then there was-. Hey wait! What the hell are you doing?" He finally noticed the strange old man writing down what he was saying.

A lecherous grin came from the old writer as he scribbled on his pad rapidly, "Thanks kid. This has the potential for a decent scene in my next book. Oh yes this should do nicely; young adults in the throws of passion, an angry father, people love that stuff."

A threatening growl ripped itself from Naruto's throat, "Like hell you're writing anything about me and Kyuubi-chan… You old pervert."

The old man smugly waved him off, "Oh calm down kid, I'll credit you in the next installment, don't worry." He leered at Naruto dangerously , "But what you called me… I'm no pervert boy."

Naruto tensed up as the man's aura darkened as he bit his thumb and ran through hand-signs before slamming his palm on the floor and engulfing himself in smoke. A croak sounded as the man spoke again in dramatic fashion, "A mere pervert? A title such as that is an insult to me. I am the man that makes the women swoon from his mere gaze, the epitome of manliness, the super-pervert known throughout the lands as-!"

The smoke cleared to reveal him on a horse sized toad in an odd stance, "The legendary toad sage! Jiraiya!"

Naruto stood in place motionless, taking in what he was seeing, 'Did a grown man just dance on a toad and give me a full-blown introduction calling himself a pervert?' He had to palm his own face out of the sheer absurdity of the man in front of him, "I swear, you are the weirdest janitor I have ever met."

Jiraiya face-fell off of the toad that dispelled itself and stood up angrily, "You brat! Only a punk like you would look past my obvious greatness so readily. And for the last time I am not the janitor!"

Naruto turned away from his and picked his ear, "Yeah? Then who are you?"

Jiraiya gave him a dry look, "Seriously kid… I'm decently older than you, I came down here when no one else did, and I have the key to this place… Gee I wonder who I could possibly be?"

Naruto pointed at Jiraiya accusingly, "Gross! You're the boss's gay lover!" Naruto backed off slowly and tentatively, "H-Hey, it's cool I guess, you overcompensate with those books, but it's still cool. You can go on and spend time with your man, I'll come back later."

Jiraiya punched Naruto in the face and sent him flying into a wall in the dark room, "You little idiot! I'm not gay! You have got to be the slowest kid I've ever met!"

Naruto stood up with the wall as support, "Okay old man, you hit decently hard…" As he stood he ended up hitting the light switch, revealing a living room with a television, a set of couches, a desk full of documents and reports, all in all it was pretty much like a regular living room, "Wow… This is a nice place. A little Spartan though by most people's standards."

He looked over to Jiraiya who was still seething at Naruto's remark, "You better not have cracked my wall you brat…"

Naruto noticed how he was speaking, "You live in this place? With the boss? Wow… That's not really helping with your 'I'm-not-gay' claims."

Naruto narrowly dodged a second punch from Jiraiya who had a vein twitching on his head, "I live down here alone you little idiot! No one else stays down here but me."

Naruto looked around at the lack of windows and the isolated feel of the place, "Wow… alone… Like a sennin… An ero-sennin."

Jiraiya face-fell and stood up again quickly, "That is _not_ something that you call your boss gaki!" He pointed at Naruto threateningly, "I should have your ID for that!"

Naruto panicked, "Y-You're the boss!" He then got angry, "You left me sitting outside for hours and you were the one that called me down here!" He then got confused, "Wait? You would fire me just for some banter?"

A loud roar from Jiraiya was his response, "Banter? You basically called me someone's ass-bitch! You must be a real popular guy if that's your idea of banter!" Jiraiya calmed down, "Anyway… You and I need to have a conversation of the utmost importance. Sit down."

Naruto walked over to the couches and sat in one as the mood of the room changed. Jiraiya's face took on a grim undertone, "I am well aware of what you have been doing here Naruto."

The manic blonde cut in, "Wait, how do you know my name?"

Jiraiya looked at Naruto like an idiot, "I'm the boss kid. How could I ask to see you and not know who you are? You're quite good for someone that is only a few months into his career, however, it doesn't matter how good you are. You removed information from Kaisha Hein's archives with intent to distribute to an outside individual."

He looked at Naruto seriously, "I know that you are young and are in the first year of your career, but this is something everyone knows. It doesn't matter if people know what you do, it's hard to keep a cover and you can choose not to do so at your own risk, but you cannot let others know the inner workings of our organization boy. This is day one stuff!"

Naruto recoiled sharply. He knew that he was probably going to get fucked over when he gathered the information for Sasuke, but he was honor bound to help his friend out. Sasuke had done things of a similar nature that put his credibility at risk, hell, some of the things Sasuke did for him were criminal in nature, and to not reciprocate with the same amount of lack of concern for the consequences that Sasuke showed would have been nothing other than him using his friend and not returning the favor.

Naruto clinched his fists, "Look, I know what I did. And I know that giving that stuff to Sasuke was way out of protocol, especially since he is all but a member of the department, but he isn't trying to interfere in our business, he's just trying to dig up information on a certain person."

A sly smirk found its way to Naruto's lips, "Besides… Isn't having a contact in the police department something that could work out to my, and by proxy everyone else's, benefit? I know that I can't be the only guy that does stuff like this… right?"

Jiraiya's serious expression broke into a wry grin, "Good answer gaki. If you had turned into a sniveling pile of crap right in front of me I actually _would_ have kicked you out, at the very least." Jiraiya then sat lazily on a couch nearby, "So now that the scary part is over, why don't you tell me what your cop buddy is getting himself into?"

Naruto shrugged and leaned back into the couch, "I don't know. He asked me to get some information on some old closed case or something. It was some pasty looking guy, Orochimaru was his name."

Jiraiya hisses as if he had gotten a paper cut, "Your little law enforcement friend is treading in some dangerous and off-the-grid territory here. Have you tried talking him down from this? He might be in over his head."

"Deputy has just as many rocks in his head as I do." Naruto shook his head pitifully, "He won't stop with this until he either finds this guy, or hits a true dead-end. The fact that I gave him pretty much everything we had on Orochimaru won't help him stop digging. He'll have enough stuff to last for at least a year if he hits any blocks. Who is this Orochimaru guy anyway?"

Jiraiya sighed, "He was one of the most brilliant men I have ever met in my entire life. He was a genius. He was a mercenary himself you know? The things he came up with revolutionized our practice kid… And then he lost his marbles and did some off-kilter stuff."

"Like what?" Naruto's attention was stuck on Jiraiya now.

Jiraiya shook his head, "Do you plan on going back to school today?" When Naruto shook his head Jiraiya burst into a grin, "Did you read the stuff that you copied on Orochimaru?"

An amused snort and smirk from Naruto gave him his answer, "Well then…"

XxX

(4 hours later)

Naruto stared at Jiraiya, blinking randomly, "That Orochimaru guy… Did all of that stuff, to all of those people… and you guys _didn't_ kill him? What the fuck kind of organization is this!"

Jiraiya groaned, "It was a really complicated series of events kid. I considered the man a close friend."

Naruto gave Jiraiya a dry look, "Um, no. If one of my friends was working deals with foreign agencies behind everyone else's back, capturing, and killing/experimenting on an absurd amount of people, and then laughed in your face about it when I confronted them and tried to beat my ass his ass would at least be going to prison with a few broken bones, and that's if I didn't just flat out kill him."

Jiraiya glared slightly at Naruto, "So if this Sasuke kid you told me about did the same thing that Orochimaru did you would have no problem stopping him yourself?"

Naruto picked his ear and flicked what came out, "Yes. Hell yes, because if he actually _did_ do that shit, me _stopping_ him would be the least of his worries. I would, hypothetically of course, shove my size 12's so far up his ass that his tongue would have grip."

A confused look came upon Jiraiya's slightly wrinkled face, "You would do something like that to your best friend?"

Naruto gave him a serious look and nodded, "Yes, if he really became that twisted. Now don't get me wrong, trying to save someone on the path of darkness is all well and good, but when the person is question is so far along the road that it takes a flashlight to see two feet in front of you, it's a little too late. I came to my own conclusion on this a long time ago. Some people in this world…. Just need to die. No questions, no excuses, they just need to vanish from the face of the planet and face the Shinigami."

He stood up and headed for the door, "If Sasuke, or anyone close to me, ever did anything like what Orochimaru did to those people you just told me about, I would kill them… Even if I had to kill my own heart to do so."

Jiraiya looked thoughtfully at this green rookie who had just spoken as if he had seen the darkness of the world through his eyes, "How could you bring yourself to live with yourself after you do the deed?"

Naruto looked back with a ghost of his smile on his face, "Because to preserve the good memories and qualities of those that I hold close to me, I know it's necessary to do what it takes to eradicate their sins. I hope it will never have to come to that though." Naruto proceeded to exit Jiraiya's living area, leaving him to think on what had just gone on.

XxX

As Naruto left the headquarters he realized it was late in the afternoon and proceeded to take to the rooftops and have a little run about town for a while to waste some time. All of a sudden a rush of information that Sasuke was bringing Kyuubi to his house came to mind, which shocked him, 'What the hell was that?'

Naruto's head was filled with the memory of the chain of events that led to his clone being dispelled. Sasuke and clone Naruto were out in front of the school when Kyuubi ran up and latched onto his clone's arm. The clone ended up revealing his clone status and Sasuke said they would be heading over to see what was wrong with him that day. Kyuubi simply bared her claws and forcefully dispelled the Kage Bunshin.

Which brought to mind how Naruto knew that. He had been using the clones for just about every lazy-ass practice he could remember since he learned the jutsu. He was spamming them just so that he didn't have to get up and change the channel on the TV when he lost his remote, hell he made a clone when there was something out of reach on his coffee table and he didn't want to adjust his body to reach it. Apparently there was more to the technique than he previously thought, he'd ponder that later.

Naruto averted his course and flipped a u-turn to head back to his dwelling to await the arrival of his best friend and girlfriend.

"Zankuuha (Decapitating Air Waves)!"

Naruto, in mid-jump, was caught up in a massive blast of air that sent him flying through the sky. He was lucky enough to avoid going 'splat' on the concrete below and ended of crashing and burning on the rooftop of another building, totally fracturing an A.C. unit.

Picking himself up off of the ground, Naruto ignored his scrapes and cuts from the rough landing, "Alright… Who's the dead fuck that did that?"

"As if you could kill me now Uzumaki."

Naruto saw another figure land on the roof, the spiky black hair and odd headgear let him know who it was, "Ugh… Zaku Abumi. Why don't you just beat it or something? I don't want to deal with you tonight."

Zaku sneered at him, "Too bad! After you and the Uchiha kid screwed my plans over you don't get a choice in the matter! I want to make you suffer! You'll both die tonight!"

A laugh of smug amusement came from Naruto, "You couldn't even touch me before I did that to your stupid base. I walked right into your hideout, stole Princess and her little sister right from under your nose, and then blew up the entire building before you even knew what happened. What makes you think this is a good idea? You won't even get past me, so how do you think you're gonna kill Sasuke too?"

Zaku growled at Naruto's cocky proclamation, "I'm not worried about the Uchiha, the people I'm with will handle him. I wanted to kill you personally."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You sent two people after Sasuke?" A grin spread across his face, "That's good… Maybe then Kyuubi-chan will be able to vent on someone before she shows up at my house later. Alright, let's whip your ass so I can haul you off to jail and go home."

"I won't be that easy Uzumaki! Not anymore now that I have _this_." Zaku pointed his palms out at Naruto to reveal two holes in them, "The instruments of your death…"

Naruto smirked and snickered, "Dude. Is that safe? I mean, isn't that an infection risk or something? Holes in your arms?"

Incensed by the fact that Naruto was still not taking him and the threat he posed seriously, Zaku pointed his arms out at Naruto, "I've had enough of you! Zankuuha!"

A crushing blast of wind left his hands flying at Naruto who dodged. The missed attack ended up destroying the remainder of the A.C. unit Naruto was standing by. Zaku then felt the crack of Naruto's fist off of the side of his head that sent him flying against the edge of the rooftop.

Naruto stood bouncing on his toes, "Good. I needed a workout today, nothing is better than a fight as far as I'm concerned in that regard." He dropped into a ready stance, "Do you want to try again? I want to see just what makes you think that this will work out any better for you than anything you've tried before."

Zaku stood and pointed his arms back out again, "These are the deciding factor! Now that I have this power you'll never beat me again!"

Naruto sweat-dropped, "…They're just air tubes… How long have you even had those things? It couldn't have been longer than a month."

"Zankuuha!"

Naruto sighed as he felt the air pressure shift and began to dodge. Zaku fired off multiple shots, one after another as Naruto kept avoiding the attack, "Hold still damn you!" Zaku again felt air leave his body, not from his arms but from his mouth as he found himself doubled over on Naruto's fist.

Naruto grabbed Zaku by his collar and looked into his eyes with a curious look, "How have you lived the life you have for so long fighting as poorly as you do. That was pathetic." Naruto punched him dead in the stomach again, forcing Zaku to involuntarily release more air from his system, "You just come straight at me? And just because you have a ninjutsu shoved into your arms you think you can beat me? The only decent tactic you used was when you first attacked, and that didn't even help."

Zaku tried to raise both of his arms in Naruto's face to blow him away, but Naruto shoved him off and grabbed both arms by the wrist, before he started driving the sole of one his shoes straight into Zaku's face repeatedly. He let Zaku drop to the ground with a broken nose and busted lip.

"How…" Naruto turned to find Zaku trying to pull himself to his feet, "What kind of freak are you? Even with this amazing power, you didn't even flinch… YOU FREAK!" Zaku jumped back to his feet, despite his swimming vision and put his hands out one more time. Naruto scoffed at Zaku until he heard different activation words, "Zankuukyokuha (Supersonic Air Slice)!"

Zaku fired a massive wave of cutting air from his hands at Naruto, taking out entire chunks of the rooftop in the blast and engulfing the roof in dust. Zaku laughed cruelly, "Ha! You bastard! How do you like that? Who fights poorly now!"

"I liked these clothes…"

The dust cleared to find Naruto standing with his arms crossed in an X. His clothes were obliterated and his body was all cut up, but was healing rapidly. He had used chakra to stay attached to his place on the roof. Naruto dropped his arms to glare at Zaku threateningly, "Is that it? You never even tried to train with that move did you? Look at you, you're exhausted."

Zaku was hunched slightly, face flushed, and was panting heavily, "Sh-Shut up! You really are some kind of freak! Who gets up from that!"

Naruto walked over to Zaku who vainly tried to fight Naruto hand-to-hand but ended up getting cruelly backhanded to the ground, "I'll tell you who, anyone that actually trains their body to be conditioned for combat. Getting some glorified leaf-blowers in your arms doesn't make you strong, but I'm not going to sit here and lecture you."

Naruto lifted his foot, "Zaku Abumi I don't know how many times me and Sasuke have said this to you over the years, but… you're going to jail." Naruto swiftly lowered his foot and everything went black for Zaku.

Naruto fished through his pockets and emptied his wallet, chuckling as he rifled through one of the card holders to find a condom, "Who the hell is he fooling? Yeah right." Naruto flicked it off of the rooftop and picked up Zaku to head over to his apartment for his duct tape.

XxX

(In front of Naruto's apartment complex)

Sasuke and Kyuubi looked out at the new arrivals dully. Kyuubi picked at her nails, looking very disinterested, "You think these guys know Naruto-kun or something? They did confront us in front of his house."

Sasuke shook his head, "Nah. If they knew him then they wouldn't be here. People that fight Naruto really don't like trying it again a second time unless they have a few screws loose."

Kyuubi smirked at Sasuke, "So what does that make you?"

Mumbling from Sasuke brought laughter from the red-haired girl before she turned serious again, "So what do you two want anyway? If Naruto-kun comes back and sees you two glowering over us he's going to kick your asses."

The boy with his entire head, save for one eye, wrapped in bandages stepped forward, "We've come to kill the Uchiha. Let us perform our task and we will be on our way, there's no need for you to get involved."

A girl with long dark hair with a bow near the bottom drew a handful of senbon and smirked, "That's right honey. We wouldn't want to have to kill you as well, just run on home."

Sasuke ducked down in front of Kyuubi, "They're kind of right you know, Naruto would torture me if I let you get hurt over something like this. Stay back and I'll handle them."

Kyuubi gave all three of them the dullest look she could muster, "Are you all idiots? Do you really think I'm weak at all? I could probably kill all three of you myself. Yes you too Sasuke." She added after Sasuke looked at her in disbelief.

The bandaged boy got tired of talking, "Well if you want to stay in our way then you'll just have to be collateral damage, Kin go ahead."

"Of course Dosu" Kin took aim at Kyuubi and Sasuke and let fly with four senbon. Sasuke braced himself and activated his Sharingan to prepare to dodge.

"Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

Blades of blood red chakra hit the senbon and kept going towards the two assailants who dodged as the attack licked the pavement leaving cuts. Sasuke looked back at Kyuubi who had her arms set in an exaggerated swing, claws extended, "You've never seen me fight before have you?"

Sasuke looked dumbfounded, "That was the idiot's move. How do you know it?"

Kyuubi gave him a grin, "Who do you think taught him how to do it in the first place? Now pick your poison Sasuke, I don't care who I get."

Sasuke nodded and ran off after Dosu who tried to put some distance between Kyuubi and himself. Kin tried to do the same but the appearance of the girl she was trying to avoid put that little plan on hold.

Backing off she saw Kyuubi giving her a pouting, thinking look, "Now what was it that you said to me a second ago? Was it, 'You wouldn't want to kill me?' Well feel free to show me just how you were going to go about pulling that miracle off."

XxX

Sasuke was sick of chasing Dosu and decided to put an end to the pursuit as they ended up in a parking lot a few blocks away, "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)!" The small fireballs flew all around Dosu, blocking him from going any further and getting him to turn and fight. Sasuke faced him down and noticed the gauntlet with holes on Dosu's right arm, "Who sent you after me. I don't remember doing anything to you before."

Dosu put his arm out and gave it a flick, "Our master has ordered us to exterminate Sasuke Uchiha. We don't ask why he did so, it's a job."

"Well it's a job that just might end up killing you." Sasuke noticed that his equilibrium was beginning to go. He kept up a façade of indifference, but his balance was shot at this point and Dosu knew it, as evidenced when he rushed in to attack.

Sasuke knew what was coming, he was fast enough to defend against it, but if you can't get your body to avoid a punch without stumbling then you're going to end up eating a second attack, and Sasuke did end up taking a second attack. For Dosu's second punch he slammed his gauntleted fist into Sasuke's belly. The vibrations from the metal forced Saskue to the ground, pukinng his guts out.

Sasuke dry heaved as now his balance was worse than ever, "W-What the hell was that?"

"My Melody Arm." Dosu held up his right arm, "I amplify the sound waves from the movement of my arm to attack. The result is quite becoming as you can plainly see."

Sasuke's willed his equilibrium to steady and he stood up again, 'Okay, do not let him get that close to you again.' He looked at Dosu and began thinking, 'But what do I do to beat him? He'll just dodge all of my distance jutsu until I run out of chakra.'

Sasuke got a smirk on his face as he ran forward full speed at Dosu who simply held up his arm and flicked it, "You really didn't learn anything from the first time did you?"

Sasuke waited until he began to feel his vision swim and made a few handsigns, vanishing in smoke. Dosu's eyes widened as a massive hunk of wood flew from the smoke at his head. He lifted his arm to block and ended up cracking his gauntlet on the log. All of a sudden the log was engulfed in a puff of smoke to reveal Sasuke, who kicked Dosu into the air and latched onto his upside down form for a dangerously exposed piledriver, "Hayabusa Otoshi (Falcon Drop)"

Sasuke drove Dosu head first onto the pavement, snapping his neck and killing him. He let go of his limp body and stood up to dust himself off.

"Hey you bastard you stole my move!"

Sasuke turned to see Naruto and Kyuubi holding Zaku and Kin who were bound with duct tape. Naruto walked up and noticed Dosu, whose neck was contorted at an awkward angle. Sasuke noted that Kin had all kinds of slash marks all over her body and Kyuubi had not a mark on her. Returning his attention to Naruto he smirked, "Why whatever do you mean? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

Naruto chuckled as Sasuke formed the signs for Gokakyu no Jutsu and turned Dosu's body to ash, "You know what you did. If I knew you would end up using Kawarimi like that then I never would have used that combination on you when we sparred."

Kyuubi barked out a short laugh, "You didn't use that combination on him exactly like that Naruto-kun, poor Sasuke ended up eating the log in his face, that's how you won, remember?"

Naruto hoisted Zaku onto his shoulders as Kyuubi threw Kin at a grumbling Sasuke who did the same, "Who expects to see a high speed piece of kindling coming at your face in the middle of a fight? I was shocked that he actually used it like that."

"And that's why I did it, but let's get these guys to jail… Wait, let me go change clothes first." Naruto gestured to his tattered garments, "I look like I lost a fight to a weed whacker."

The three teens took off towards the rooftops to drop their surviving two attackers off at jail.

XxX

After dropping Sasuke and the prisoners off at one of the precincts, Naruto took it upon himself to escort Kyuubi home. Rather than take to the roofs of the city as they had been they decided to just walk.

Kyuubi was latched onto Naruto's arm, poking him in the chest, "You're teaching me that Kage Bunshin thing. You bastard… How many times have you been skipping school before this?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "This was the first time. That's why you found out about it." This was a bold-faced lie.

A narrowing of her eyes let him know it didn't fly, "Bullshit." She just held tighter onto his arm, letting the issue die.

Thankful for the dropping of the topic, Naruto decided to engage her again, "So why the hell did the deputy want to meet at my house again? We never got around to exactly why he was there."

Kyuubi sighed, "It had something to do with that case of his. I swear, he's obsessing over this, he's like a bloodhound." She looked up into Naruto's face thoughtfully, "He had something on a lead of sorts he told me. Some lady or something that worked with that Orochimaru guy in the past."

Naruto shrugged, "So why am I involved in this? It's not my damn job. I already had him cash in a favor to get the information, he's got nothing on me right now to make me keep going."

Sighing at the stupidity of their little bartering system, Kyuubi responded, "He said he's willing to give you a free favor for this next one."

As she got his attention Naruto voiced a question, "What does he want? Her address?"

Kyuubi playfully poked him on his nose, "Nope, he's got that. He just wants you to go with him this weekend to find her. She doesn't live in Konoha anymore and he didn't want to leave town for something like this alone. After tonight I'm inclined to agree on that front."

Naruto sighed, "Fine… I'll tell him tomorrow that I'll go."

Kyuubi nuzzled her cheek into Naruto's chest, "You're such a good boy Naruto-kun. Such a giving person."

"Too bad I keep whiffing on opportunities to 'give something' to you." A sharp shot to the back of his head was his response, "Totally worth it."

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ)

Jiraiya sat in his living room looking at an old picture when Kakashi walked in, "You wanted to see me Jiraiya sir?"

Jiraiya set the picture aside and looked over at Kakashi, "Yes Kakashi, I wanted you to let Naruto know tomorrow that I have another mission lined up for him, one that he should be perfect for."

"Sir?" Kakashi looked confused somewhat, "I know Naruto is good, very good for someone his age, but to request him personally for a mission? Isn't it too soon for this?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "No Kakashi, it isn't anything that is dependent on his combat skill or anything, but it's tailor-made for him all the same. Just hand him that scroll on the table when you see him and wish him luck for me."

Kakashi nodded and picked up a scroll before saluting Jiraiya and walking out. The old white-haired man sighed as he picked up his photo again, being a picture of a man with long, spiky blonde hair and blue eyes, "I have to say, he's a little rough around the edges, but he's a damn good kid. He's got one hell of a spirit in him. I just hope he'll be able to bring her back. He looks like a punk, but other than that he looks just like you Minato…"

* * *

(Omake)

(Earlier that evening)

Kakashi was walking along the street when a loud explosion rang out. Being Kakashi, who was curious about everything, he went over to investigate the scene. Upon arriving at the foot of the building he saw that the top was engulfed in dust. If he had been paying more attention he would have seen a familiar blonde blur jumping away from the scene, but his attention was caught by the sight of a condom package, gently floating down to the earth.

Kakashi stayed still as the package floated gently into the palm of his open hand. Kakashi's visible eye widened as he noticed it was still full, "This is an omen…"

Kakashi pulled out his phone and flipped through his contacts before putting it by his ear, "Hello Rin. Are you back from your mission yet?" Kakashi eye-smiled after a moment of listening, "Of course sweetheart I missed you too. I'll be home in a little bit. I Love you too."

Kakashi flipped his phone shut and pocketed the condom before pulling out his book and walking with a noticeable little extra pep in his step, "Rin can't fight the pimping."

* * *

**Alright. I know that compared to all of the other stuff I write it has been a while since I updated this. But I would like to point out that it was still hella-faster than I've seen a lot of others do it. Starting a third story and being as busy as I have been has left me quite swamped, and I had to prioritize. **

**I know this chapter was kind of short, but next chapter will be longer so settle down. **

**Kenchi out, don't blow yourselves up with your leftover fireworks!**


	20. A Friend of a Friend

Review Shoutouts

***Meh. Nothing too interesting to reply to this time around…***

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. That would make me important. Heaven forbid some random guy posting stories on a website ends up being important for something cool… I want to be important…

**Chapter 20: A Friend of a Friend**

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"I can't believe that old bastard gave me a damn mission." Naruto was sitting on a bus heading out of town looking out the window, "Who requests rookies for anything? I thought I was on leave, what the fuck happened to that shit?"

Kyuubi, who was seated next to him, laid her head on his arm, "Relax Naruto-kun. At least I can come with you on this one."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "That's because you were there when Kakashi handed me the assignment in the first place and you wouldn't go home to let me read it." He nudged the girl on his shoulder, "If you haven't noticed, I've been trying to keep you from getting involved in all of this stuff."

Kyuubi looked up at him with her red eyes in mock sadness, "Why would you want to keep me out of your life Naruto-kun? I thought I was supposed to be your girlfriend. You can just keep stuff like your job from me like that with no problems?"

Naruto shut his eyes, "All successful relationships are built off of lies and deceit." He ended up getting a slap to the head for his troubles.

"That was really stupid dobe." Oh, and Sasuke decided tagging along would be just fine as well, "Even I'm not daft enough to say something like that out loud. It makes me wonder how you've managed to keep her around for so long."

"Because she knows that I don't mean it." Naruto grumbled as Kyuubi nestled up on his chest and tried to sleep through the trip, "Just because the lady you're trying to speak to is the same woman I'm going to give ero-sennin's message to doesn't mean you can just come along. I need to keep up with at least _some_ kind of standard procedure, damn."

Sasuke pointed his thumb to the left, "Hence the reason why the girl with buns in her hair is sitting next to me twirling one of those knives that you mercenaries always carry." He looked at her and back at Naruto, "Who is this anyway and why is she here?"

Naruto pointed at the girl sitting across from him and next to Sasuke, "This is Tenten. She's a mercenary and my partner on this mission as a way of me making something up to her. Tenten, this is Sasuke Uchiha, but you can just call him deputy. I do." Naruto ignored Sasuke's scowl at his nickname.

"Hello Sasuke." Tenten started with a smile, "I hope you leave me with a better first impression than your friend Naruto here did."

Naruto would have thrown his arms up, but the girl trying to sleep on his chest prevented him from safely doing so, "Are you still mad about that? Look, I'm sorry. Anko would have stabbed me with all kinds of poison-tipped stuff all day long, I'm immune to all kinds of stuff. She probably only did it to you for an hour before she had to take you to the emergency room."

Tenten would have thrown her kunai at Naruto if they weren't on a public bus, "It still hurt you bastard! Why did you have to grab me anyway? There were tons of people you could have switched with!"

Naruto made an I-don't-know noise, "You were the closest and the least likely to initially fight it at first. And I was right. Oh don't give me that face, at least I'm trying to get on your good side by taking you on this mission. I could have just taken Haku-neechan, and let you miss out on meeting your 'idol'."

He then turned his attention to Sasuke, "And you. You're not going to get into giving this Tsunade lady the third-degree, super-cop bullshit until our mission is finished do you understand? I don't even know why you bothered coming after I told you about my mission, you could have just waited."

Sasuke shrugged, "Because I wasn't going to do this without you backing me up anyway in case I got attacked again, you being given a mission dealing with this lady just made it convenient for me to tag along with you."

Naruto sniffed and looked out the window, "Yeah well what I said still stands. From what Kakashi told me, this lady has a hell of a temper and I really don't feel like carrying your liquefied remains back to your house in a zip-lock bag because you wanted to act all belligerent."

A look from the dark haired boy indicated his confusion, "What? She's a doctor isn't she? A doctor can't kill me. Not a regular one anyway." Naruto and Tenten burst out in laughter, angering Sasuke, "What the hell is so funny?"

Tenten wiped a tear from her eye, "You really think Tsunade is just a simple doctor? That's great…"

Naruto let his laughs die down lest he wake up Kyuubi, "Sasuke, when is anything that simple? I know that's what her file in the police station probably had her listed as for her occupation, but there's a word for what we call that. Can you tell me what it is?"

Sasuke looked away bashfully, "A cover…"

"Yes deputy, a cover!" Naruto spoke to Sasuke like an elementary school student, "You know right? Those things that certain mercenaries have in order to keep an alibi under most social circles so that they can work?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto, "You're the only mercenary I know besides Obito-oji, and you both don't have a cover so excuse the hell out of me for not knowing your secret mercenary crap."

Naruto smirked at Sasuke's ignorance about his profession, "I don't have a cover because going to school is my cover, or it was until I fought Kiba and got busted out by Ino. I still had three years to find another decent one until then. It's not like I have weak friends or anything either, I mean everyone that could be considered close to me knows how to fight so having a cover is pretty much useless to me."

Sasuke looked over at Tenten, "My cover is a student too. Most all of the kids that work as mercenaries have that as their cover ID, it pretty much can cover all of your alibi bases. When I graduate, who knows what it'll be?"

Sasuke looked at Kyuubi, who was curled up asleep on Naruto's chest, "I had no clue that she knew how to fight the way she did. I mean, I figured that she knew something seeing as how she _is_ your girlfriend, but she apparently beat the crap out of the girl that was trying to kill me while I fought the mummy guy. She taught you that red blade thing that you do?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep, Kyuubi-chan's been teaching me stuff since the week we met. She's really mean when she fights. She cuts me all up just when we spar, it kind of pisses me off, but then she goes and does stuff like this…" He motioned to her sleeping on him and wrapped his arms around her, "And I forget about being angry… until we spar again."

Tenten raised an eyebrow, "So is she stronger than you? Because I saw you fight Lee when you ended up joining the company and you seem pretty capable, it's kind of hard to imagine."

Naruto shook his head, "I'm not sure really. I would have said she was a few months ago because she could do something that made her at least five times faster and stronger than me, but I've got something to match that now. We haven't really ever gone all out against each other, we never use our jutsu on each other so I couldn't tell you."

Sasuke chuckled, "Your girlfriend is stronger than you, that's great. How weak must you be?"

Naruto palmed his forehead, "That was a stupid fucking thing to say Sasuke…"

Sasuke didn't understand what he meant until he felt the killing intent radiating off of Tenten, "So you're saying that just because Naruto and you are men that you're both automatically stronger than 'frail' women like me?"

"That wasn't what I meant. It's just… just… Dobe! Help me out here!" Sasuke edged away from Tenten carefully, "Dobe, calm your partner down already!"

Naruto snickered at Sasuke and shut his eyes, leaning his head on top of Kyuubi's, "Nah, I think I'll let you two get better acquainted before we get to Tanzaku Gai. Wake me up when we get to a stop."

Sasuke heard Tenten cracking her knuckles, "Dobe, you un-loyal bastard! I'm getting you back for this do you hear me? Get this chick before she flays me alive!"

The verbal and physical chewing out from Tenten and the sounds of Sasuke trying to defend his words and being whacked lulled Naruto to sleep.

XxX

A few hours later Naruto, Kyuubi, Sasuke, and Tenten stepped off of the bus in Tanzaku Gai, stretching out after the long bus ride. Wanting to review his assignment and just what was expected of him, Naruto pulled out his mission scroll and gave it one more look over.

**Mission: Messenger (Secondary Objective: Retrieval)**

**Rate of Pay: 150000 ryo (extra 75000 upon completion of secondary objective)**

**Assigned Operative(s): Naruto Uzumaki, Tenten**

**Mission Specifics: To deliver a sealed message to Tsunade Senju at her residence in Tanzaku Gai. The primary objective requires nothing more than delivering said message to Tsunade Senju and waiting for a written reply to bring back to HQ. The secondary objective will require the operative(s) to convince Tsunade to return with them to Konohagakure and accompany her to Kaisha Hein HQ to complete the mission, the secondary objective is entirely optional due to intense threat to the operative's physical well-being, undergo at your own risk, completion will be rewarded handsomely.**

Naruto unsealed a picture from the bottom to reveal a blonde woman with her hair in two ponytails, red lipstick, brown eyes, and a diamond seal on her forehead. Naruto whistled lowly as he looked at her picture, "And the old ero-sennin knows this lady? No way she's anywhere near his age looking like this."

As his companions for the trip caught up to him he showed them all the picture from the scroll, "This is the lady we're looking for. Yes Tenten I know you already know what she looks like, that was for the sake of our tagalongs." He added on when he saw her open her mouth. Upon seeing her pout Naruto sighed, "You're lucky I asked you to even go. Not only are you going to meet your idol, you're getting some serious bank out of this."

Naruto handed the scroll to Kyuubi, "Burn that for me baby, if you don't mind."

Kyuubi nodded and summoned Kitsune-bi to eradicate the scroll into thin air, "So what are we doing first Naruto-kun?"

A smirk came onto Naruto's face, "Since I have a red-haired, beautiful distraction and a lawdog as tagalongs to go along with me and my other beautiful bun-haired partner, I have decided to split up. Sasuke, put your nose to the ground and go with Tenten to start finding out where we can find Tsunade, and I will go with Kyuubi-chan. Call me when you guys get something and I'll do the same."

He got nods from Tenten and Sasuke who then took off together to begin searching. Naruto turned to Kyuubi who had a mischievous grin on her face, "You just wanted to get me all alone didn't you Naruto-kun?"

Naruto slid up to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, "I'm out here away from the city, we've just been on a bus for two-and-a-half goddamn hours, and it's Saturday. There's no way in hell I'm spending the day working, let the deputy and bun-chan do the heavy lifting since they actually want to be here. I'm going to enjoy my female company." Naruto gave Kyuubi a peck on the lips and the two took off to find something to do.

XxX

(With Sasuke and Tenten)

Sasuke and Tenten had taken a moment to get their bearings in the new town before they started asking around for Tsunade and where she might be able to be found. Tanzaku Gai was mostly a gaming town, and Tsunade had a fondness for casinos. The problem with that pastime of hers was that the town was full of casinos and gaming facilities, and checking them all was getting rather cumbersome.

Sasuke sighed as he and the bun-haired mercenary came from yet another casino, "Man… I should have told Naruto to use his Kage Bunshin to do this instead of me. I wish I would have thought of that three hours ago."

Tenten rubbed her calf as the hours of walking in circles was starting to catch up with her, "This is really cumbersome, but the pay is going to be so worth it. Are you going to get a share from Naruto?"

Sasuke shook his head, "No, I had to convince him to let me come along, so he doesn't owe me a dime. I have to meet this Tsunade lady too. For my own reasons, I'm a cop if you didn't know."

Tenten grinned wryly, "I could have guessed that Uchiha-boy. Why do you want to see Tsunade?"

Sasuke and Tenten stopped at a corner to wait for a signal to cross the street, "I need to find her so that I can get some information from her on Orochimaru, it seems she was very close to him in the past and she might have something on him I need to know. I keep digging deeper and deeper into this case and it just seems to expose three new layers every time I crack one."

The two noticed the signal to walk come up as Tenten started to speak, "So that's why Naruto told you to hold off on all of your police stuff until we get her out of here. Your questions might make her angry and get her to smash us before we can get out of here."

Sasuke snorted, "I still don't get what makes this lady so dangerous. I mean, yeah, she probably is pretty tough and everything, but Naruto and I are tough guys, I only lose to my brother decisively, so if it comes down to it I think we'll be fine."

A sweat-drop came from the bun-haired girl, "You really haven't ever been smacked around by someone head-and-shoulders better than you in a fight before, have you?" Upon seeing Sasuke shake his head she sighed, "Do you really think that all mercenaries are as strong as me regularly? I'm only in my second year of my career and I think I can give you one hell of a fight if not flat out beat you. We're not elite, I'm not and Naruto isn't. The other older members can, have, and do run circles around us in combat. This woman is legendary in our company for a reason, she's very fucking good. I think Naruto should ask one of our experienced mercenaries to fight you to show you just what the difference between you and them are."

Sasuke looked at Tenten curiously, "Naruto can stop a moving car with his bare hands and you're telling me that there are people that can make him look like a total novice in your company? Most of my family work in the police department, and I only really know of my dad and my brother being better than me in combat, I'm supposed to go into special forces when I graduate high school."

Tenten began fiddling with a kunai in her hands, "Well I'm telling you that most of our elites can at the very least go toe-to-toe with your dad and brother, and most have a very good chance of winning. Why do you think that catching mercenaries is so rare?"

Sasuke stopped walking, forcing Tenten to turn around to look at the contemplative face of Sasuke, "I never thought about it before. But, this Orochimaru guy, he was never caught, he was a mercenary from what Naruto gave me on him, and Naruto… I haven't had to bail him out of jail in years. What the hell do they teach you guys to avoid getting caught?"

Tenten giggled as she turned around and motioned for Sasuke to follow her, "What? Thinking of changing professions on the fly lawdog?"

Sasuke blinked before following after her with a smirk, "Well… I wonder if there's ever been a mercenary that had police work as a cover."

XxX

(With Naruto and Kyuubi)

Kyuubi was sitting with Naruto outside of a grocery store. Naruto had ran inside quickly to get them something to drink while they simply walked around town looking for things to do. They had thought about going into one of the casinos to try their hand at something, but didn't feel like hanging around one during the daytime when the seedy people were out and about.

Kyuubi sighed as she watched Naruto finish off his soda, "Okay, it was a good idea at first, but now I'm feeling bad. This is cutting in on your mission, maybe we should be looking for Tsunade too Naruto-kun."

Naruto tossed his bottle into the trash and stood up, "Whatever you say Kyuubi-chan. But don't start complaining when we're out here until Wednesday looking for a sign of her. I try to keep you away from my job because it's either really dangerous or really boring, and I can't tell what kind this mission will be yet. Honestly, neither are anything I feel like subjecting you to."

Kyuubi puffed her cheeks out as she stood up with him, "That's a really bad excuse Naruto-kun. I'm just as strong as you, so anything that you can handle I can handle too. And about the boredom, you don't even go to school anymore and yet you leave me there alone every day, and no, your Kage Bunshin don't necessarily count as 'you' so stop that train of thought."

A sweat-drop formed on Naruto's head, "Alright…But you know you still can't come on distance jobs, I have enough problems clearing my own alibi for leaving on them, and no one gives a damn about where I am. You have people that care about you, thus making it way harder to make believable bullshit stories about where you've been as opposed to me."

Kyuubi stuck her tongue out at Naruto who shook his head with a smile on his face until he started looking around strangely. Kyuubi noticed his change in demeanor, "What's the matter Naruto-kun? Are you okay?"

Naruto sniffed at the air, "I smell someone familiar close by."

Kyuubi looked at him strangely, "Yeah, Sasuke and Tenten. Duh Naruto-kun, I can smell them too."

Naruto shook his head, "No, you don't know this person, at least not very well, you've only met her once." Naruto turned to see a woman with short black hair leaving the grocery store that he had just been inside, "Shizune-neechan."

Kyuubi turned her head towards where Naruto was looking, "Wait. Is that the woman from the hospital that I met a few days after you and I first met? What is she doing all the way out here, with groceries?"

Naruto followed her with his eyes and motioned for Kyuubi to follow, "I don't know, but we're going to find out. The mission can wait for now."

As Naruto went to jump towards the rooftops Kyuubi grabbed his arm. He turned to face her and saw a smirk on her face, "I haven't taught you the next tier of techniques yet have I Naruto-kun?"

A blank look, complete with blinking eyes, was the response she got from him.

XxX

(With Sasuke and Tenten)

A sigh came from Sasuke as the raven-haired boy and Tenten came from an alley where a dice game had been taking place, "We have been everywhere in this entire town, gone everywhere where gambling could be happening and we haven't seen or heard a damn thing about Tsunade anywhere."

Tenten elbowed him in the side, "Calm down Sasuke. It's the first day, and if it was that easy then me and Naruto wouldn't be getting paid so much for doing this."

Sasuke opened his phone to check the time, "What are we going to do when it gets dark? Are we going back out to check the casinos again? What about when we need to sleep?"

Tenten shook her head, "That's why Naruto and I brought money to tide us over for the duration of the job. I thought Naruto used you for a few jobs before?"

Re-pocketing his phone, Sasuke yawned out of exhaustion, "He did, but all I was ever used for was just when he had to beat up a few thugs, the most serious thing he had me help him with was extraction and that was only once. Other than the obvious stuff that everyone knows, I don't know much about what he does and how he does things."

"Well that's to be expected. You may be friends, but you're not one of us. You're actually more dangerous than a regular civilian, you're a cop, or at least you will be soon. He can't tell you the things that will get him locked up, it's only natural that you don't know most things." Tenten reasoned to him.

A visible frown came to Sasuke's face, "I don't think I would ever turn on Naruto like that, ever. He's so close to me, almost like my brother. In fact, he would have lived with me if my dad would have allowed it, but by the time I asked if he could, Naruto already had a record and dad didn't want a delinquent in the house." Sasuke chuckled at the thought, "If only my dad knew, I should have been caught with Naruto a bunch of times but he always made sure that at the very least if we did something illegal I ended up getting away. My mom loves the guy, and Itachi likes him too. Hell, he was friends with my uncle before anything else."

Tenten looked at him in interest, "So you two have been friends for quite a while then huh? How strong is he really? I want to see him fight, I heard about what he did in Sunagakure from Rin-san and Anko-san, it's hard to imagine that he has that much power. And you consider yourself on par with him?"

Putting a confident smirk on his face, Sasuke faced her, "What Naruto has in raw, overwhelming power and stamina I have in finesse and skill. I don't know what would happen if we ever fought full-out. Whenever we have we always put limiting rules on each other to keep from crippling one another."

Tenten got a gleam in her eyes, "So you say that you're a pretty tough guy eh? Well then maybe you and I should spar sometime after all of this is over. What do you say?"

Sasuke remembered that from what he knew about Tenten the girl was obsessed with weapons, most of them being of the sharp and pointy variety. He quickly whipped out his phone to change the topic, "Uh hey! Let's see how Naruto and Kyuubi are doing!"

XxX

(With Naruto and Kyuubi)

Naruto cursed silently as his phone went off. He had Kyuubi on his back while jumping across the rooftops, silently following Shizune. The reason he was carrying the half-demon girl when she was fully capable of traversing the buildings on her own was because of her use of a technique that Naruto had not learned yet, Kitsune no Manto (Fox Cloak). The technique could distort the light around the user and anything the user was directly touching in order to mask their visual presence from sight.

Naruto quickly opened his phone and spoke lowly as the sun was beginning to set, "What is it deputy? What do you want? What do you need? What!"

Kyuubi urged him to be quiet as she kept up the cloaking jutsu while attempting to shadow Shizune. Sasuke's voice was still pretty clear to her better than most hearing over the receiver, "It's been hours since we split off. I just wanted to know where you guys were and if you found anything yet."

Naruto kept his voice low to respond as he jumped across another rooftop when he saw Shizune cross the street, "I'm on something weird right now. You guys go ahead and do whatever it is you were going to do after calling me. We'll meet up with you guys when we're done."

"What are you guys doing? Did you find something on Tsunade?"

Kyuubi took the phone from her boyfriend's hand as he navigated the roofs, "No Sasuke, this is something that's personal to Naruto-kun. We'll tell you what's happening when we… find out more about what's happening." She finished lamely.

Before Sasuke could say anymore, Naruto took the phone back from Kyuubi, "We'll talk later. You and Tenten stay out of trouble. And don't spar with her if you're bored, unless you want to be turned into an Uchiha pincushion." Smirking as he heard Sasuke stumble on his words, Naruto hung the phone up and pocketed it.

Kyuubi tapped Naruto on his shoulder, "Naruto-kun, we're running out of buildings. She's taking that side path over there." They saw Shizune head off of the main streets and onto a path leading into the woods.

Naruto jumped down onto the path, following Shizune's trail slowly, lagging behind to keep their presence secret from her, "What in the hell is Shizune-neechan doing all the way out here? It's weird, this can't be some kind of bullshit coincidence that she just so happened to come out here the same time as us."

Kyuubi shrugged while still on his back, "Maybe she likes gambling Naruto-kun. This could just be like a weekend vacation for her, working at a hospital has to be tiring, right?"

Shaking his head and snickering under his breath, Naruto disputed Kyuubi's suggestion, "Nope, no way she's here for gambling. She scolds me for doing it back in Konoha, even on a small-scale. Shizune-neechan doesn't seem to like a lot of the things I do. Go figure."

Kyuubi lightly thwacked him on the head, "You're a baka of a hooligan. I don't like a lot of the stuff you do either, it's not really surprising. You need to calm down sometimes sweetie, you really do act up way too much for your own good."

Naruto grinned like an idiot as he kept walking, "And yet you love me so much. If I wasn't such a dangerous dumbass you would miss it. Hell, at least I keep things interesting around you." Kyuubi wasn't speaking, just staring ahead in awe. Naruto saw her expression and set her down on her feet, "Kyuubi-chan? Baby? Kitsune-hime?"

Naruto eventually followed her line of sight to find himself looking at a massive mansion behind a wall of trees, "Well damn then. What the hell is Shizune-neechan doing here? I really want to know now."

As he grabbed a hold of Kyuubi's hand they walked up towards Shizune, who had placed her groceries onto the ground in order to grab a key to open the door. Naruto grinned like a loon as he snuck closer to the woman, finally stopping about three feet away as he inhaled deeply, "WHAT'S UP SHIZUNE-NEECHAN!"

This didn't have the desired hilarious after-effects that he assumed it would have when he conjured up the half-assed prank in his head. Shizune, instead of jumping out of her skin and looking as if she had just seen a ghost, shot her foot back into the unsuspecting Naruto's chest and turned, firing senbon at him from a hidden holster in her kimono sleeve. Kyuubi's quick use of Chuuou no Hizumi (Center of Distortion) took Shizune's aim off. Instead of hitting him anywhere vital, the needles fired ended up depositing themselves neatly, and dangerously close to, his groinular area.

XxX

(With Sasuke and Tenten)

The two other members of the search party were taking time out of their endless search at a diner near the gaming district. Seated at a table, both were simply sipping on their drinks and waiting for their orders to come when Sasuke suddenly grabbed his balls and hissed lowly for about thirty seconds.

Tenten raised an eyebrow at this peculiar behavior and waited for him to stop and look around in a timid fashion, "What happened to you?"

Sasuke looked around almost fearfully, "I don't know. It feels like someone close to me almost lost their manhood just now, like it reverberated through me, you know?"

Tenten simply gave him a 'what-the-fuck' look and kept sipping at her drink, "Whatever you say… Men are weird."

XxX

(Konohagakure Police Station - 13th Precinct)

Sitting at his desk, perusing over reports, Itachi suddenly felt a massive, overwhelming urge to hold his junk. Itachi stood up and paced around in a circle, taking deep breaths. Fugaku Uchiha, who was heading through to his office at the time, along with many of the other officers, had to stop and stare at his eldest son walking in a circle, holding himself, and taking deep, sometimes shuddering breaths, "Itachi! Boy what the hell is wrong with you?"

Itach collapsed back into his seat, still tightly protecting his nuts, "I fear Naruto-kun almost lost his right as a man to reproduce." Despite his monotone voice, there was still some concern clearly visible in his eyes.

Fugaku cringed and nodded, "Walk it off son." He left Itachi to suck air through his teeth sharply.

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ)

All through the building, males that were somewhat close to Naruto, be it acquaintance or outright family friend, were falling out, holding their testicles in a flash of phantom pain. Gai was currently running around a downed Rock Lee, who was one of the notable victims, "Oh Lee! What is happening to you my youthful protégé?"

Lee, in an uncharacteristic hissing whisper answered him, "Gai-sensei…I fear something most unyouthful has almost happened to the youth-spreading portion of one of my comrades. I can feel his anguish…"

While Gai was freaking out, elsewhere on the training floor of the facility Kakashi, Obito, and Zabuza were all rolling around on the ground in similar straits. Rin sweat-dropped as her teammates hissed and rolled. Obito spoke up, "Whose balls just got owned? This isn't cool!"

Haku was fretting over her downed father figure, "Zabuza-tousan, what happened?"

Zabuza's eyes were watering as he looked up at her, "Poor, poor gaki. It couldn't have been anyone else but him, I just know it. "

Obito whimpered pathetically as he knew exactly who Zabuza was talking about. Kakashi pulled himself to a sitting position and sighed deeply, "Poor kid… He never even got to take his tackle out of the box."

XxX

(Back in Tanzaku Gai)

Letting out the highest pitched shriek a man can make without actually having one of his special orbs penetrated by needles, Naruto then proceeded to black out on the walkway of the house. After hearing the unholy sound coming from Naruto, Shizune realized just who she had almost ended up kebobing just then, "Naruto-kun? What are you doing here?"

Kyuubi sweat-dropped as she kneeled down to wipe the look of utter horror off of the face of her unconscious lover's face, "He saw you in town and wanted to follow you since it was weird to find you this far out from Konoha."

Shizune opened the door and motioned for the red-haired girl to help her get Naruto into the house. Once inside they laid Naruto down in the living room on a couch. While Shizune went back to get the groceries, Kyuubi sat with Naruto's head in her lap, "What do I do about the needles?"

Shizune simply called out from where she was in the kitchen, "They're not anywhere dangerous so just go ahead and pull them out."

Kyuubi blew her bangs out of her face and reached down to pull out the first one. After sharply yanking it out of the boy he shot up, "GODDAMN IT! THAT HURT!" Naruto immediately began checking his 'equipment' over, making sure there were no unfortunate casualties downstairs. Sighing in relief as he saw none, Naruto yelped again as Kyuubi pulled out two more needles in the meantime.

The red-haired girl noticed Naruto begin to shake in fear at the sight of the sharp, pointy, metal needles as his eyes widened. Kyuubi smirked mischievously as she tossed the needles aside, "Sorry Naruto-kun, they had to come out."

Naruto glared lightly at her as he held his groin protectively, "Shizune-neechan what the hell? You carry crap like that on you? And you threw them at me? You know I fucking hate those damned things!"

Shizune came into the room trying to hold back her giggles at the teenage boy, "Well Naruto-kun, just because you seem to be terrified by those weapons doesn't mean that I can't carry them, now does it?"

Naruto blinked before getting a look of confusion on his face, "But why would you need weapons in the first place? Never mind that right now, what are you doing in this town Shizune-neechan? And whose house is this?"

Shizune laughed nervously, "Well… This is my house Naruto-kun, or should I say, my master's house."

Naruto gave her an incredulous look, "So you live here?" Naruto looked around the living room of the massive house before he looked back at her, "That must be one hell of a commute… Wait, master? What are you talking about neechan?"

Shizune pointed up to indicate upstairs in the house, "Well, I live here with my master, the woman who taught me everything I've ever learned about medicine, she's upstairs right now." Her gaze turned to one of scrutiny as she looked at the two teens, "Now what exactly are you two doing here? Tanzaku Gai isn't really place that kids like to go to over the weekend."

Naruto began sweating, "Well, you know how I was always in the hospital and stuff, and how I had those needles stuck in my ass for seemingly no reason. I'm a mercenary Shizune-neechan."

Shizune was silent for a moment before giving him a dry look, "Well I knew that Naruto-kun, but what are you doing here? And why is your girlfriend with you?"

Naruto and Kyuubi looked at each other, the female of the two speaking, "I thought you said you didn't tell people this stuff Naruto-kun."

He shrugged and scratched his head, "I didn't tell her. How did you just know Shizune-neechan?"

She let a smirk cross her face, "I'm friends with Rin. I know a mercenary when I see one. Besides, how else would you have gotten five senbon lodged in your ass like they were? Saying that you 'fell' wasn't really a good excuse at all." The girls both laughed at his expression while he glowered at them.

"Shizune who is that?"

The attention of the people downstairs ended up being directed to the steps themselves while Shizune answered, "These are just some friends of mine from Konoha that were in town Tsunade-sama!"

Naruto's eyes widened as he took note of what Shizune had just said, "There is no way. Seriously… there's just no way my luck is that good."

Naruto watched as a blonde woman, exactly matching the descriptive picture he was given, descended the stairs and gave himself and Kyuubi an appraising look, "Your friends? Shizune these kids look less than almost half your age."

Naruto raised his hand as if he were in class to get her attention, something that made the girl next to him slap her forehead, "Um, ma'am. I'm Naruto Uzumaki. If it isn't too much trouble could I get your name so I know who I'm talking to?"

The woman turned her brown eyes onto him and smirked at the seated boy, "Sure. My name is Tsunade Senju. Now what are you brats doing on my property?"

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**My internet is screwy as I write this so I'm getting my ass in gear and posting this before it fully craps out on me and I'm out of time. I'm going to go bitch out Cox Cable after I'm done here… High-speed internet my ass-crack…**

**Keep smooth, and stay frosty.**

**Kenchi out.**


	21. Can't Keep Running Away

Review Shoutouts

**No- I'm not on facebook: I don't really read many modern AU fics either. I just wanted to make this one different, and as well as I could with what I could think up. And the best part about this story is the fact that I can do almost anything I want to with the storyline since it's almost from scratch. I hope it makes sense so far, there's tons of crap that I'm going to go into explicit detail on later.**

**cormalin: Best shot to the balls scene EVER? Wow, didn't see that coming. Awesome.**

**bumike99 & Elemental Dragon Swordman: Phantom pain is seriously real when you're close enough to the victim. I swear to God I felt it last night and looked across the gym. My friend, I was training with a bunch of people at the time, just got kicked in the balls during a spar.**

**road kill609: Yes they are a bitch… I know from personal experience.**

**Kalevra: Glad you enjoyed it. I laughed my ass off when I read it back to myself.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… I don't own anything. Due to the amount of hatred that I have at this fact I am using a knife to stab out this disclaimer instead of just using my fingers to type. Good thing this isn't my computer…

**Chapter 21: Can't Keep Running Away**

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After the introduction of Tsunade, Naruto looked to Kyuubi with a smile, "Well that was easy. You see what happens when you procrastinate Kyuubi-chan? Sometimes your issues work themselves out."

Kyuubi shook her head as she smiled back at him, "It's our combined luck Naruto-kun. Sasuke and Tenten are going to be pissed if we tell them we didn't do anything and still ended up finding Tsunade, but hey, it's just one of the perks of being us."

Naruto stood and headed over to Tsunade, fishing in his pockets for the scroll that he was meant to deliver to her, "I have a message for you Tsunade Senju. Here you go." Naruto moved away from her after handing the scroll over and sat back down.

Shizune looked at the blonde boy curiously, "You came all the way out here just to give Tsunade-sama a message?"

Naruto gave her a toothy grin, "Yep, although that's just half the reason we're here, I'm getting paid regardless. With what I'm making off of this mission I'll have rent for the next six months at least all paid up, and I can actually afford real food when we get back."

Kyuubi elbowed him in the side playfully, "Getting sick of ramen Naruto-kun? I never thought I'd see the day."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her, "I'm not sick of ramen. I just want something new to eat for now. Oh! You know what I haven't had in forever? Almonds."

Shizune sweat-dropped, "Almonds Naruto-kun? That's weird…"

Naruto closed his eyes in pleasant contemplation, "Yep, almonds, chocolate milk, and beef jerky… The breakfast of champions…"

"Like hell I will!"

Attention then was turned to Tsunade who was rolling the scroll back up with a displeased look on her face, "That old pervert thinks he can convince me to come back? He has another thing coming."

Shizune made her way over to where Tsunade was standing and obtained the scroll from her to read it for herself, "Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama wants you return to Konoha with these children so that he can speak with you. Why aren't you going?"

Tsunade made her way out of the room to head towards the kitchen, "I've told you Shizune. That place has already taken too much from me already. I won't go back there again."

Kyuubi lifted an eyebrow, "It seems this Jiraiya person only wants to talk. It's not like he's asking you to stay there or anything. It seems like a simple request to me." The second part of Tsunade's statement hit her soon thereafter, "What do you mean Konoha has taken too much from you already?"

No answer came from the other room as finally Shizune followed after Tsunade, leaving the two teenagers alone in the living room. Kyuubi turned to Naruto and whispered, "What are we going to do now Naruto-kun? You delivered the scroll, which was really the only thing that you had to do to complete the mission. Are we going to head home now?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, if I head back without even trying to get this lady to come with us I'll get my butt chewed out when I return, it was listed as an objective for a reason, even if it is secondary. Ero-sennin sent me on this, he requested me personally for this. And as weird as it is I don't think he would have sent me if he didn't think I could do this."

Kyuubi frowned at his explanation but nodded regardless, "So how are we going to do this? She doesn't seem open to the idea of coming with us at all."

Naruto ran his hand through his hair with a sigh, "I don't know… This lady doesn't seem like the kind of person to change her mind about things too easily at all. I mean even Shizune-neechan can't convince her to give going back a chance." Naruto could pick up what the two other women were talking about in the other room due to his enhanced hearing.

Pulling a cell phone out of her pocket, Kyuubi was stopped by Naruto before she could dial, "What are you doing? I was going to call Sasuke and Tenten and tell them that we found Tsunade."

Naruto shook his head in the negative, "I have a feeling that having even more people trying to convince baachan in there to go to Konoha won't end well for any of us. If we bring them into this now then who knows what will happen? We'll tell them when we meet up again if we can't get this solved by then."

Kyuubi pouted with her chin in her hands, "Who knew this would be so difficult? And I'm pretty sure knocking her out and dragging her back won't work either right?"

Naruto snorted in amusement, "Okay, let's pretend that this woman isn't a legendary figure in my company, let's pretend that we're _actually_ around her level of skill and we might have a snowball's chance in hell of beating her outright in a fight. Then there comes the dragging her home part. What part of what you just said _isn't_ illegal enough to warrant attention from law enforcement?" Kyuubi laughed sheepishly, "I know that for the most part the laws are pretty lax and with me and Tenten being mercenaries and Sasuke being a police trainee we know enough to avoid most law-enforcement, but that still stands as kidnapping, and that would open up a whole other can of worms that we aren't ready for. Besides, she's important to Shizune-neechan, so we aren't fighting anyone, got it?"

"Softy…" Kyuubi turned away from Naruto, "Are you sure that you're not just afraid that Shizune will blast you with senbon again?"

Naruto gave her a deadpan look, "Kyuubi-chan… My post-traumatic phobia of sharpened needles aside, Tsunade would turn any combination of the four of us into a smear on the floor before we could blink. I can't beat her, you can't beat her, Sasuke can't beat her, and Tenten knows damn well she can't beat her so she wouldn't even try. What part of 'legendary figure' are you not getting here? Kami, you're almost as bad as Sasuke."

Shizune came back into the living room with an apologetic look on her face, "I'm sorry Naruto-kun, but Tsunade-sama isn't really in the best of moods right now after getting that message from her friend. Please don't think too badly of her."

Naruto shrugged it off and stood up, "It's alright Shizune-neechan. I'm pretty much the same more or less whenever people tell me to do things that I don't want to do."

It was faint, but he caught a hint of sadness in her when he said that, "So you're going to go back to Konoha now?"

Naruto shook his head with a grin, "No, I'm not giving up that easily. I didn't come all the way out here to just quit after a three minute conversation, you should know better than that. I'll be back tomorrow, it's getting late."

Shizune gave Naruto a soft smile, "Okay Naruto-kun. I'll try to get her to lighten up by the time you show up tomorrow. I would offer you two a place to stay for the night here, but I don't think Tsunade-sama would be too accommodating right now."

Kyuubi stood up to follow after Naruto, "It's okay. We can afford a place to stay, it's not a big deal."

As he reached the front door Naruto grumbled over his shoulder, "What the hell do you mean 'we' can afford it? Don't you mean 'me'?"

Kyuubi chirped in response, "Yep! It's the chivalrous thing to do Naruto-kun!"

Naruto ambled out of the house muttering to himself with his red-haired girlfriend in tow, "Women complain that chivalry is dead and then they complain about a little bit of what they call 'misogyny' when I try to use some… Double standards…"

Shizune watched the two leave with an amused smile on her face before returning inside the house.

XxX

After leaving the home of Tsunade and making their way back to town, Naruto and Kyuubi called Sasuke and Tenten and told them to meet up on the main street to find a hotel to stay in for the time being. The half-demon pair had to suppress massive smirks as they heard about how Sasuke and Tenten had been all over the town three times trying to find any sign of the same woman that they didn't even try looking for.

They kept quiet even after they had found a place to stay and purchased rooms for the night. As they found the rooms side by side, Naruto and Kyuubi attempted to enter one room together until Tenten pushed him out and Sasuke dragged him next door. With an anguished cry of, "Cockblocker!" Naruto was thrown into the empty room by his black-haired best friend.

Naruto sat pouting on the bed and Sasuke had to hold back a shudder, "Don't ever do that again. It's strange seeing a guy that can rip a tree apart with his bare hands pouting on the bed like a five year-old."

Naruto glared at him, "I finally get Kyuubi-chan away from her obsessive dad, who I swear to Kami can literally smell when the mood starts heating up between us, and you keep me out of her hotel room? You're a bastard, an evil, evil bastard."

Sasuke shook his head and deposited himself on his own bed, "It was either make you miserable by dragging you in here, or I'd be miserable in a room with Tenten, who would flay me if I even looked at her the wrong way."

Naruto grinned perversely, "Wrong way? Maybe it could be the right way if you played your cards right deputy. It seems to me that you don't despise my weapon-loving partner as much as the members of the opposite sex that you're used to seeing."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Get over yourself. It's nice to be around a girl my age that doesn't automatically want my pants off for once. She's actually pretty cool… It's too bad we wasted the entire day though. It's like no one knows who this Tsunade woman is."

Both boys heard a shout from next door that sounded just like Tenten and that brought a smile to Naruto's face, "Hey Sasuke. You should know that me and Kyuubi-chan did all of jack-shit looking for Tsunade today. We pretty much blew the whole thing off and just goofed off all day."

The look of anger on Sasuke's face after that statement was only hilariously enhanced by the fact that he subconsciously activated his Sharingan. Naruto pointed at Sasuke with a smile, "Hey Sasuke! You unlocked your second tomoe."

Sasuke pointed at Naruto in anger, "You asshole! That's why you split us up the way you did! Because you knew whichever one of us you took would have made you actually work!"

Naruto nodded, "Yes, yes I did. But hey, we still found Tsunade so we actually accomplished more than you did today. How does that make you feel?"

Sasuke clinched his fists, "Angry… You were just being a lazy-ass and you did something that I had been trying to do for several hours."

Naruto placed his fingers under his chin, "I see… And what exactly do you feel like doing right now?"

Sasuke laid down on his bed with his hands at his side, "I want to cut you… so badly right now. You pulled off something like that without even trying. It just makes me so mad!"

Naruto had by this time pulled out a pen and a pad and was writing, "Uh huh… Do you think this emotion is stemming from anywhere in your past? Maybe something to do with someone you know?"

Sasuke sighed, "Well, I'd say it has mostly to do with my brother. He's so good at so many things. I just feel inadequate sometimes. I try not to compare myself to him, but it's hard. Sometimes it seems like he isn't even trying. The other day he-… Wait… Why the hell am I telling you this?"

Naruto grinned at him, "Because you wanted to have a heart-to-heart with your best friend?"

Sasuke shook his head, "What were we talking about?"

Naruto interjected, "How you think Itachi is so much more kick-ass than you?"

Sasuke sighed, "No… you idiot, before that. Oh! You asshole! You found Tsunade and you couldn't fucking pick up a phone? I swear, we went into every casino, every backstreet game, every bar, and we didn't find a damn thing."

Naruto gave him a deadpan look, "Did you ever even ask for an address?"

Sasuke was about to rant at him until he stopped to think, "No. But you said that she was a frequent gambler! Where else would a gambler be except in the casinos?"

Naruto sighed, "She doesn't live at the fucking casinos dumbass, she has a house. I guess I'll take you with me tomorrow instead of Kyuubi-chan."

This confused the young Uchiha, "Why not take everybody? Didn't Tenten want to meet this woman anyway?"

Naruto shook his head, "Nope. That won't work. She doesn't want anything to do with Konoha, let alone Kaisha Hein, she might snap and think we were trying to take her by force, and like I told Kyuubi-chan, becoming a red blotch on the ground doesn't really appeal to me. No force super-trooper, not on this one. We're taking it slow, there's no need to spook her."

Sasuke sat back up, "It's too early to go to sleep dobe. What is there to do in this town?"

Naruto grinned at him, "You do know that this place is 85% casinos and red light district right?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Duh. I've only been walking through it all day. Come on, let's go find something to do. The girls will be fine, they aren't going anywhere."

Stroking his chin and pacing, Naruto hummed in thought, "Stay in a boring hotel room with shitty hotel cable TV or go out in a strange town with Mr. Stick-in-the-Mud himself, Sasuke Uchiha?"

Sasuke made his way to the door without much of a care, "Geez, you made both options seem so appealing." He said in a sarcastic tone of voice. Shoving his hands in his pockets he opened the door and left the room. He heard the door open and shut again behind him and turned to find Naruto following, "I thought you weren't coming."

Naruto fell in line alongside Sasuke with a scoff, "Like I'm really going to let you go out into the adult entertainment capital of Hi no Kuni without someone watching your back, you street-green motherfucker. Who knows what you'd get into without me? I don't feel like having your mom beat my ass because I let you go off and catch crabs because you wanted to hook up with a prostitute with a package."

Sasuke glared at him, "I can tell the difference you bastard."

Naruto looked away with a smirk, "I know…"

"I hate you."

"I bask in your hate deputy."

XxX

The two boys traversed the streets taking in the night scene of Tanzaku Gai. Their walk through the town had been mildly entertaining.

Naruto was nearly in tears as he and Sasuke jaywalked across the street, laughing and dodging traffic, "Did you see that pimp in the purple suit back there? Amazing! They really walk like that!"

Sasuke wiped his eyes and laughed alongside his blonde companion, "See him? Did you hear what he said to you when you stared at him? 'I ain't walking the stroll little kid. You'd best turn that look of you's to one of my hoes before I cut you into sirloin tips.'" Sasuke spoke while mimicking the pimp's speaking style, "Was he serious?"

Naruto's laughter subsides and he stood back up, "Ahh pimps… One of the city's most treasured and respected occupations. Come on teme, let's go make some money."

Sasuke lifted a suspicious eyebrow, "Money? We're going to gamble? I only brought like 2000 ryo for the trip Naruto, we don't have the cash to spend on chance."

Naruto scoffed, "I'm infected by your ignorance deputy. I'm not talking about spending the money on bullshit like poker or roulette or some other shit, despite the fact that unlike you I would actually be good at those things, but that's beside the point. Follow me, and more importantly, shut the hell up until we get to where we're going."

Naruto and Sasuke walked into a lower quality casino and began making their way to the bar. Sasuke looked around at the subpar surroundings, "How are we going to make money in this shithole? We should have gone to a bigger casino."

Naruto sighed and would have backhanded Sasuke if it wouldn't have arisen suspicion, "Sasuke please shut up. Let the urchin take care of the situation, I promise we will be rolling in dough by dawn." As they made it to the bar and stopped in front of the bartender Naruto gave him a fox-like grin, "How ya doin'?"

The bartender looked at the two boys and frowned, "This establishment checks ID boys. Take it somewhere else, we do things legally here."

Sasuke pulled on Naruto's arm to get him to leave but Naruto just turned and kept him from leaving. Turning back to the bartender he put his grin back on, "I'm sure you do, you look like you have your liquor license and all, but I don't care about that. Me and my broody amigo here want in on your action in the basement."

The bartender saw that they were serious, well Naruto was, Sasuke just looked confused. He pondered calling for security, but he could tell these were just kids, "You're all too young to fight anyway…"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yes because the entire process is such a legal practice anyway… Having underage kids doing it would be _such_ a significant difference."

There was no way that they were cops or anything… right? The man looked at the two and nodded his head up before leaving the bar area and directing the two boys to follow him. Sasuke was still confused, but he knew Naruto wouldn't get them into something that they couldn't handle right?

As they made their way to storage the man moved aside the metal shelves that held the kegs to open up a stairway leading downstairs. Sasuke's eyes widened while Naruto smirked as they both descended the stairs before the man shut the door behind them leaving them to head down alone. The two came to a large door that Naruto banged on as a slot opened to reveal two dark scrutinizing eyes, "What the fuck are you brats doing here?"

Naruto sighed, "Let us in before we kick your ass and just come in anyway."

The man behind the door laughed, "Yeah right kid. This door is reinforced with steel, I'd love to see you try and get past it. Now go away. Maybe you can come back when your balls drop."

This brought tick marks to both boys' heads. Sasuke looked at Naruto, "Can I?"

Naruto gestured towards the door as Sasuke moved towards it and poked his fingers through the slot, hitting the man in the eyes. Smirking as a yelp of pain came from behind the door, Sasuke moved and allowed Naruto to kick the door off of the hinges.

The two boys strolled inside as the man held his eyes on the ground. Naruto gave a shit-eating grin as they walked past, "Yeah, the door is reinforced… Too bad the hinges aren't, you cheap motherfuckers." As the two walked down a fairly long hallway the sound of loud music began to become clearer and clearer.

Eventually the two came to a curtain and walked through it to find themselves in a club type setting. There were drinks being served, people dancing, and there was a cleared out large square pit that was three feet into the ground in the center of the room surrounded by metal guard rails. Between the music being played, the people that looked way above their blood (Well, Naruto's blood anyway), and the pulsing lights it was a deep contrast to the dive that the two boys had entered through.

Before Sasuke could say anything a voice yelled out on the speaker system over the club, "THE NEXT FIGHT! JACE VS. DON CHIDAA!"

The boys moved through the crowd to find two men fighting in the iron square in the center of the club. One man was in vale tudo shorts and had taped fists. He looked around eighteen years old with red hair. The other man had a mustache, a frilly brown afro, a Chinese martial arts outfit on, and had a smug look on his face.

Sasuke elbowed Naruto in the side as the fight started, "How the hell did you know this place was down here? And why were the bartender and that door guy so tight-lipped about this place?"

Naruto kept his eyes on the fight as a smile came to his face and he tapped his nose, "I could smell the blood from outside. There are places like this in Konoha too, and no I'm not telling you where they are later. You're lucky I brought you here in the first place. And the first rule about fight club is you do not talk about fight club."

The younger man with the taped fists tried to clinch up with the afro-ed fighter until he ate a straight kick to the face that send blood spraying back. Naruto wiped some of the blood that had flown off of his section of railing and flicked it from his fingertips. Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You stole that from that movie 'Fight Club' you idiot."

Naruto chuckled, "Maybe so, but that doesn't make it any less valid in this case. There are a whole lot of things that you don't know Sasuke. There's a whole underworld worth of things in Konoha that you police can't imagine or handle."

The vale tudo fighter actually clinched up his opponent against the railing and attempted a headbutt, but missed and made contact with the metal. The two boys cringed as they saw the bloody imprint that was left behind. Sasuke scratched his head, "While I'm not against spending the night watching these guys beat the crap out of each other, why are we here? Are we going to bet on the fights?"

Naruto looked affronted, "Oh hell no. Do you know how much of this shit is fixed? And another thing, if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight."

Sasuke slapped his forehead as the fight passed the two boys. The afro fighter was in full control at this point, using a barrage of kicks to batter his opponent mercilessly. Sasuke half-heartedly glared at Naruto, "Stop stealing lines from that movie… Yes, Brad Pitt was a total bad-ass in it, yes Edward Norton beat the shit out of that one guy, and yes, I remember you walking around school shirtless in a fur coat and sunglasses for a month after you saw it, but this is different."

Naruto glared at him, "This is how we're going to make our money teme. They pay the winners, and if you don't volunteer or get pushed into this then how do you think they find fighters? One of us is going to fight and win to get paid before getting out and betting on the other. We're going to keep winning, and we'll alternate every fight. We clean this place out, and get to train a little bit in full-contact fights while we're here. It builds character."

Before Sasuke could object further the announcer spoke up, "THE WINNER OF THE MATCH! DON CHIDAA!" The afro man looked no worse for wear as two large men in black shirts picked the bloody mess that was Jace off of the floor and took him out of the ring.

Sasuke had to admit, he did want to test himself against real fighters, and Naruto seemed to be confident that they could win. The announcer shouted again, "DO WE HAVE ANY NEW BLOOD IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT THAT WANT A CHALLENGE!"

Sasuke shrugged and hopped over the rail, "WE HAVE A CHALLENGER! WHAT'S YOUR NAME MONEY!"

'Money?' Sasuke quirked a brow, "Sasuke…"

"ALRIGHT FOLKS! NEXT WE HAVE DON CHIDAA VS. THE NEW KID, SASUKE!"

Naruto whistled to Sasuke who walked over to him, "What is it Naruto?"

Naruto pulled him close through the lower bars where he was crouching, "No jutsu. We don't need to burn the place down or get accused of cheating. Sharingan is okay though, we can't afford any slip at losing. Oh… and watch out." Naruto quickly shoved Sasuke out of the way before an axe-kick would have smashed him in the back of the head. Instead it hit the bars. Don Chidaa glared at Naruto who simply smirked and waved, "I don't know why you're glaring at me… Fight's over there."

Don Chidaa turned around to catch an Uchiha fist to the face that sprayed blood back into Naruto's face, "Ahh! Teme! I'm not catching Hep-B from this shit! Watch the blood spray!"

Sasuke smirked at his best friend's discomfort and backed away from his adversary. Don Chidaa was sporting a busted nose and lip and was doing what Sasuke perceived to be feints with his feet. By the way the man had his hands at his side Sasuke estimated that he never used them in combat. Sasuke activated his Sharingan and squared off with him, the pulsing, changing lights masking the change of his eye color.

Don Chidaa shuffled his feet rapidly and lashed out with kicks that Sasuke slid out of the way of rather easily.

Naruto sweat-dropped at the fight that was carrying on, 'Man I should have paid more attention to the last fight. This guy is a total jabroni… Sasuke can sleepwalk through this guy. All he can do is kick and rely on his speed, and Sasuke's way faster than him.'

Sasuke got sick of watching this guy throw kicks so he began throwing kicks of his own at the man's legs. Every time Don Chidaa would do his leg shuffling motion meant to throw opponents off, Sasuke's Sharingan would pick up the subtle nuances that preceded his kicks and would blast out a lightning fast kick to the front leg of Don Chidaa. After a dozen of those shots he could see his opponent begin to slow down.

Don Chidaa growled as he sent out a front kick that Sasuke side-stepped before kicking him in the leg again. The entire time he had been countering, Sasuke had a smirk on his face that infuriated the older man. Naruto got sick of watching Sasuke break this guy down and rolled his eyes, "Teme finish him already! I'd like my chance to fight before sunrise thank you!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and narrowed them on Don Chidaa who he immediately began blasting with a barrage of kicks to the legs, "You suck. Take away your legs and you have nothing. If this is the best this place has, I'm going to make a killing tonight."

Don Chidaa growled and made a blind rush at Sasuke, throwing a tornado kick at the boy's head. Sasuke simply waited before throwing one high kick to his head, hitting him in the middle of his attempted his attack and sending him crashing to the ground unconscious.

Sasuke stuck his hands in his pockets and walked back over to Naruto while the announcer spoke up again, "THE WINNER! SASUKE!"

One of the waitresses with brown hair and dark blue eyes came over to Sasuke in the pit and handed him a large wad of money, "For our winner. You fight well." The woman winked at him and headed back to work.

"Fangirls here too? I don't need that shit." Sasuke shook his head and hopped the railing and pocketed the cash, "I'm going to place a bet on you. Get in there already."

Naruto gave Sasuke a smart-assed salute and hopped the railing, "OH! WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE! ANOTHER CHALLENGER! THIS SEEMS TO BE A NIGHT OF DEBUTS! WHAT'S YOUR NAME MYSTERY BRAT!"

Naruto started jumping around to limber himself up for the fight, "Hungwell Hamburger!"

"…OKAY! WELL, NEXT UP WE HAVE…. HUNGWELL HAMBURGER… VS. KANO YARU!"

Naruto watched a large, heavy-set man come down the stairs in the corner in Yakuza themed garb. His black hair was in a top-knot and in pure size and width he looked to be 6'2 and three times Naruto's weight. He threw off his clothing to show himself in sumo equipment underneath, forcing Naruto to sweat-drop, "I didn't really need to see that." The man then squatted down in the sumo ready stance, placing his knuckles on the ground as he stood crouched low. Naruto cringed when he saw that, "Damn I feel sorry for those people behind him."

XxX

(With Sasuke)

Sasuke made his way to the bookie where he could make his bets. As he reached the caged off desk he placed his money on the table, "Yeah, I want to place a bet on… Hungwell Hamburger. *sigh* Idiot…" Sasuke got a ticket for his bet and he returned to the railing where he could watch the fight.

XxX

Naruto faced off with the massive man and set himself in a loose stance, "So does someone say 'go' or do we just fight?"

The man answered by bull-rushing Naruto and shooting his palms out at him in crushing thrusts. Naruto jumped away and retreated back against the railing where Kano attempted to squash Naruto against the rails. Naruto rolled out of the way and kicked him in the back of the knees to send him crashing to the ground. The man hit the ground with a loud thud. Naruto shot a capoiera ax-kick to his chest and felt ribs break under his heel.

Blood flew from Kano's mouth from the intensity of the kick and he sat up suddenly while holding his torso only to eat a knee to the face that spattered blood as he got himself uprightly seated. Naruto obliterated his nose with that strike and jumped to top rail of the guard rails before he jumped off in the form of a ball and dropped full force on Kano to end the fight.

Naruto got off of the man who was writhing on the ground in pain and walked towards the steps, "THE WINNER OF THE MATCH! HUNGWELL HAMBURGER!"

Naruto accepted his prize money and made his way to the bookie to place his bet on Sasuke before his next fight. As he walked over he noticed people clearing the way for him and cheering for him, 'Man, they're cheering me for running through that small-fry. Sasuke was right, if this is the best they've got we're going to run this place by the end of the night.'

As Naruto got in line to place his bet a familiar voice rang out in his ears, "Brat? Is that you?"

Naruto turned behind him to find Tsunade looking at him in shock. Giving her his best grin he waved to her, "Hello Tsunade-baachan. Not the face!" Naruto finished as he saw her cock her fist back, "I'm fighting tonight."

Tsunade blinked and lowered her fist, "You're fighting? Why?"

Naruto pointed to himself, "Why not bet on a sure thing? If you're betting on the next fight, bet on Sasuke Uchiha… then bet on Hungwell Hamburger."

"Hungwell Hambu-." She tested in her mouth, "Who the hell is Hungwell Hamburger?"

"Oh my Kami! It's Hungwell Hamburger!" A random spectator said as he walked past, looking at Naruto in awe. Naruto pointed and winked and turned to the bookie as it was his turn in line.

Naruto slapped his money on the table, "10000 on Sasuke to win." Naruto accepted his ticket and emptied a purse that he pulled from nowhere, "And the lady behind me puts all of this on Sasuke as well. Naruto found himself snatched up by his collar to come face-to-face with a fuming Tsunade, "You're welcome."

Tsunade grit her teeth as she spoke, "Why shouldn't I turn you into paste right now brat?"

Naruto placed himself back on his feet and dragged her to the edge of the railing to watch the fight… well the end of the fight. Because just as the announcer started the action Sasuke's opponent rushed him. In retaliation, Sasuke kicked him in the stomach, doubling him over, and grabbed the back of his opponent's head to slam him face-first to the concrete.

As blood poured from the man's face and he lay motionless, Sasuke simply walked away and collected his prize money for winning before going to place a bet on Naruto for the next fight.

Tsunade stared at the black haired boy walking away and back at Naruto who was grinning, "Go collect our money Tsunade-baachan. And while you're at it, place another bet on me, because I'm up next." The blonde woman rushed away to the betting table so fast he thought he saw an afterimage.

XxX

(With Tenten and Kyuubi)

Tenten yawned while laying on her bed, "Naruto might have a point. Cable TV does suck now that I think about it. All these reality shows… whatever happened to original programming?"

Kyuubi looked over at Tenten and back at the TV, "Naruto-kun hates reality TV too. What is it with you mercenaries? What do you have against reality TV?"

Tenten gave the red-haired girl a dry look, "Reality isn't a guy on a treadmill on the top of a building trying to catch expensive stuff before it falls off. That may be cool to regular people, but our reality is way better than that. Who wants to watch things like that when they're bored? We can just go to work and have more fun."

Kyuubi blew a bang out of her face, "What do you think Naruto and Sasuke are doing right now anyway? I heard them leaving a few hours ago but what can they actually legally do in this town?"

Tenten shrugged, "Legally? Nothing. Casinos won't really let kids gamble and they can't legally get alcohol either." She got up to go and change for the night, "They're probably pretty bored right about now, I mean what is there for them to do out there anyway?"

XxX

(Back in the Underground Club)

"Damn you! I'll kill you!" A man in a sleeveless shirt and black pants yelled as he grabbed a bottle on the ground outside the railing and broke it off before lunging at Naruto with the jagged end.

Naruto dodged half-heartedly, "Is this even legal?" He shrugged and slapped the bottle out of his hand before elbowing him in the top of the head, rendering the man unconscious.

"WINNER, HUNGWELL HAMBURGER!" By this time Naruto and Sasuke had run the gauntlet of opponents seven times each, and easily defeated all of their competition. Sasuke found it agonizingly easy due to the fact that no one was fast enough to avoid being telegraphed by his Sharingan and that made easy counters simple for the far faster Uchiha. Naruto, on the flipside, was simply a bulldozer. He would rush his opponents, slip inside of whatever attacks they attempted, and beat them until they couldn't stand up anymore. Again accepting his cheers from the people he jumped the railing and stood next to Sasuke, who handed him a super-fat bankroll made of large bills that Naruto patted down in his pocket.

Naruto bumped fists with Sasuke as both boys smirked, "I think we've cleaned this place out enough. So how's Tsunade doing?"

Tsunade ran up and snatched Naruto and Sasuke up in massive hugs, "I love you two punks! I've never made so much money betting on anything in my entire life! I'm up 10 million ryo right now!"

Naruto and Sasuke started tapping on her arms as they both turned blue. Sasuke was the only one who could form legible words through his strangulation, "Tsunade-san… Air… Can't breathe…" His eyes were beginning to roll into the back of his head.

Noticing she was killing them she dropped them both with a sheepish look on her face, "Sorry boys."

Naruto sucked air back into his system quickly while on his hands and knees, "No problem… We're alive and that's all that counts."

"ALL RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! AS A SPECIAL CHALLENGE TONIGHT WE HAVE THE HOUSE CHAMPION REQUESTING A MATCH WITH EITHER OF THE NEW ARRIVALS! WILL OUR NEWEST ASSKICKERS PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE RING!"

Naruto's eyebrows raised with the announcement, "Well it looks like we've finally stepped on a few toes out here. You're up deputy." He turned to see Sasuke unconscious next to him, "Tsunade-baachan! You choked Sasuke out!" He didn't receive a reply or a shot to the head so he looked around, "Baachan?"

Tsunade came stampeding through the crowd, "Brat!" She reached out and pulled Naruto to his feet with stars in her eyes, "The odds against one of you winning this fight are absurd! I put everything on you. You win this and I owe you for life!"

An incredulous look appeared on Naruto's face, "Damn… What are the odds?"

Tsunade shook him rapidly, "One hundred and twenty-to-one that you get your ass kicked! Beat this guy down and I will love you forever! Lose and I'll heal you just so I can beat your ass again myself before I kill you in the most painful way possible."

Naruto gave her a grin and shook her off, "Just heal up deputy for me and make sure he's conscious when I end the fight. If the best guy in here is fighting me then that means the guys running the show want us put down and we might need to make a quick exit." Tsunade nodded and Naruto made his way back to the ring, hopping inside to signal the start of the announcements.

"IT'S TIME! WE HAVE THE ROOKIE PHENOM, HUNGWELL HAMBURGER, GOING UP AGAINST OUR UNBEATEN CHAMPION. A FORMER ELITE MERCENARY, AOI ROKUSHO!"

Naruto paled when he heard 'elite mercenary'. This was a whole new ballgame now. Naruto found himself staring at a man with dark green hair, purple eyes, a sleeveless one-piece jumpsuit, and a smirk on his face. On his back he had a sword sheathed and had another stick in place over it. Aoi chuckled at the boy in front of him, "You've been causing quite a ruckus this evening boy. Unfortunately this is the end of the line for you. You cannot beat me."

Naruto put his bravado back up and smirked at his opponent, "So you're a mercenary? What company did you work for?"

Aoi grinned cruelly, "An aspiring mercenary huh? I used to work for Kaisha Hein, but I got sick of taking orders so I left, but not without taking my own little retirement gift…"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. This guy stole from his company. He left with their secrets and ran out without being released from his contract or anything. That struck a chord with the blonde warrior. Naruto's fear of fighting an experienced opponent was gone as only a want to make Aoi suffer remained. He dropped into a loose stance as Aoi set himself in one of his own.

Naruto rushed in, using a zigzag pattern until he got close enough to attack. He jumped and kicked off of the low wall to deliver a superman punch that Aoi blocked before retaliating with a backhand that Naruto ducked under to attempt a sweep.

Aoi crouched low to negate the force generated by the sweep and caught Naruto's leg before punching him in the face. Naruto rolled backwards and sprung back to his feet just in time to see Aoi brandish and throw out a handful of senbon that Naruto deftly dodged. All of the shots ricocheted off of the metal surrounding the ring and bounced away. Naruto growled and glared at Aoi, "What is it with this mission and senbon? I swear, if I never see one of those damn things again it'll be too soon."

Aoi's eyes widened before a smug look came onto his face, "Ahh, so this mission was intended to come after me. It took long enough for them to send one out."

Naruto scoffed, "Someone has a mighty high opinion of himself. Sorry but you're not my mission, you're just a little bonus for me to call in when I come back."

Tsunade on the sidelines picked up one of Aoi's discarded senbon. As it left the ground she could see a wet outline left on the concrete, "He's using poison… Isn't that illegal?"

Naruto prepared himself for another attack, "I just fought a guy that swung at me with a broken bottle. I don't think rules are very high on the list of importance in this place. Good to know, that means I can cut you to ribbons." With that he ran back in and threw a feint of a jab before lashing out with a spin kick that caught Aoi in the face. Naruto followed up with sharp shots to his kidneys that made Aoi groan in pain before he attempted to swat the nimble teen away from him with a wild spinning back elbow. Naruto blocked him at the bicep and grabbed Aoi by his hair, delivering a series of savage punches to the back of his head that rocked the former company man.

Aoi attempted a low kick to Naruto's groin, but the blonde maneuvered his knee to the blow accordingly. This threw off his balance, allowing Aoi to slip free. Naruto mocked Aoi as he gained some distance, "Some 'elite' you're turning out to be. Do you even know any jutsu? Nevermind." Naruto came back in to attack. Aoi launched a punch to the face, but Naruto lowered his head, allowing the shot to bounce off of his forehead, probably the thickest part of the skull. Aoi pulled his stinging hand back, letting Naruto get a clear shot at his face, hitting him so hard the grown man turned around.

Tsunade shook her head at Naruto's fighting style, "He's like a brawler with high fight IQ…"

Naruto held on to the back of Aoi's head and slammed him face-first into the metal barrier three times. The entire crowd cringed as the sound of a human skull bouncing off of metal rang out throughout the club. Aoi finally blocked one of the slams and growled at Naruto as blood poured down his face, covering it in a crimson mask. He shot his head backwards and hit Naruto in the face with a headbutt that threw him off, busting the boy's nose.

Aoi pulled the stick off of his back and opened it to reveal it as an umbrella, "I've had enough of you… Die! Joro Senbon (Senbon Rainstorm)!"

He threw his umbrella in the air, forcing it to spin rapidly. Tsunade was no stranger to this technique and yelled out a warning, "Everyone get away!"

Senbon began shooting rapidly from the umbrella in all directions. The people ran away and quite a few were hit by stray needles. Tsunade grabbed Sasuke and pulled him down behind an overturned table. This finally brought the Uchiha back to the land of consciousness. As he groggily opened his eyes he noticed the panic going on around them, "What the hell is going on?"

Tsunade looked over the table to see Naruto holding a large combat knife, dodging rapidly and fending off whatever got close. As the shower stopped, Aoi caught his umbrella and laughed at the havoc he had caused, "I see you lived through one of my best jutsu. You're very good at dodging."

Naruto grinned at him and twisted the knife in his hand until he was holding it by the blade. Suddenly he launched the large knife at Aoi and caught him in the shoulder, forcing the man to yell out in pain. Naruto had a look of mirth on his face as he heard the sound of pain, "I can see that you aren't." He pulled the blade out and threw it back at Naruto who let the blade pierce his hand as he caught it. With naught a groan he pulled the knife out of his hand and licked the blood from his wound. Giving Aoi a bloody smile he flipped the weapon in his hand as he walked closer to the man.

Aoi backed away from Naruto, "I can see that this is one battle that isn't worth fighting." With that he hopped the barrier and took off.

The announcer came over the speaker, "IT SEEMS ONE OF THE COMBATANTS HAS LEFT THE RING… I GUESS WE CALL THIS ONE A NO CONTEST!"

Naruto got a tick mark on his head, "Like hell we are, get back here bitch!" Naruto immediately gave chase to the fleeing Aoi Rokusho.

Aoi busted through a door and ran through a dark hallway that Naruto followed closely behind in. As they reached stairs, Aoi rushed up them and busted through the door at the top. Apparently this lead to another casino, one far more high-class than the one that Naruto entered through. Aoi hopped the bar that they emerged from behind and Naruto stopped right there, picking up a shot glass and launching it at Aoi. The glass caught Aoi in the back of the head and sent him spilling into a row of slot machines.

A grinning Naruto hopped the bar and rushed to attack Aoi once more until a sword that looked to be glowing yellow was swung at him. Naruto took one look at the blade in Aoi's hand and sweat-dropped, "Is that a fucking lightsaber? What the fuck is this, Star Wars?"

Tsunade and Sasuke emerged from the door that Naruto had chased Aoi through to see that they had already turned the place into a warzone. Tsunade's eyes widened as she saw Naruto dodging a glowing yellow sword that cut through slot machines like they were butter. Sasuke noticed her clinching her fists and radiating killing intent, "Tsunade… What's the matter?"

She bit her lip, "That sword… that sword belonged to a member of my family a long time ago, the Raijin no Ken. That bastard stole it from Kaisha Hein…"

Sasuke put a hand on her shoulder, "Well look at the way he's swinging it." Sasuke was right. There was almost no skill behind how Aoi was fighting. Despite the destructive weapon in his hand it was child's play for Naruto to dodge his strokes, "Naruto's going to crush this guy. He'll get it back for you."

"AND THE BATTLE RAGES IN THE ABOVE LEVELS! AOI AND HUNGWELL HAMBURGER ARE TURNING THIS INTO A FREE-FOR-ALL!"

Sasuke and Tsunade turned to see a short man with a black pompadour and a weasely mustache dressed up in a leisure suit yelling into a microphone. Sasuke cleared his ears out, seeing as how the man was right next to him, "Say that a little louder why don't you? I don't think they heard you in Kirigakure."

Naruto dodged another slash from Aoi and punched him in the face, laughing as he sent him flying through a roulette table, "_You_ were elite in Kaisha Hein? Elite my ass, I don't remember you being worth a damn. The way you're fighting you seem more like a glorified jabroni. That sword is the best thing you've got going and you suck at using it."

Aoi pulled himself to his feet and cut through the remains of the table, "Shut up brat! I'll kill you!" He rushed in to attack Naruto head on.

Naruto formed two Kage Bunshin and sent them back behind the bar. He easily dodged Aoi's sloppy charge and inhaled deeply, "Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail)!" A haunting screech ripped itself from Naruto's mouth in the form of a focused wave that hit Aoi flush. His cries of anguish were drowned out by the sound of Naruto's attack.

Tsunade and Sasuke were holding their ears and gnashing their teeth, "How the hell is that fucking brat making that racket?"

Naruto stopped his attack when he saw Aoi drop to his knees, panting heavily, but still holding the sword. At that moment Naruto's clones were rapidly drinking down all of the alcohol they could grab from the bar. When they got to the point of belching and swaying in place they flew through handsigns, "Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullets)!"

The clones forced out balls of brown liquid instead of the normal blue color that hit Aoi and knocked him into a wall, dislodging the Raijin no Ken from his grasp. Aoi spit blood from the impact and glared at Naruto, "Is that the best you've got brat? You're all bark."

Naruto looked at him coldly, "You have no chance of walking away from this. Your natural equilibrium is blow all to hell after you took Chouon Aigou for as long as you did so you can't run or fight. I'm going to kill you here deserter." Naruto formed Kitsune-bi on one of his fingertips, "If you truly were a mercenary of Kaisha Hein, then you should know how we dispose of our dead bodies."

Aoi's eyes widened in panic, "No… Please no… Let me live!"

Naruto shook his head, "You're a coward, a deserter, a ruthless scoundrel, and a thief. I have heard of you. I know what you did when you left Kaisha Hein, letting that kid take the blame for you until you got away… you make me sick. You could have killed a room full of people just because you were losing a fight. The world will be better without you in it." Aoi tried to run, but fell down. He immediately tried to crawl away, but Naruto flicked the small blue fireball at the man.

Time seemed to slow as Aoi watched the small flame fall towards him until it hit the back of his foot. Aoi was covered in liquid that at its base was alcohol, and that made him hellaciously flammable. As he went up in a blue blaze he let out a horrific cry of anguish that shorted out as the flames died down to reveal nothing but ash.

The now empty casino was all silent until Tsunade looked at the ticket in her hand and grinned, "Yes! The brat did it! I'm rich! I'm filthy stinking rich! I can pay off all of my bullshit debts and then some! I'm rich!"

Naruto sighed and picked up the Raijin no Ken before walking over to Tsunade, "I heard you talking to Sasuke. This is yours I guess."

Tsunade stopped celebrating and turned her eyes to Naruto, softening them once she received the now receded blade from him. As he pocketed the hilt she picked him up in a hug. When she let go she took the crystal from around her neck and placed it on Naruto, "That sword was priceless to my family back when I was a mercenary, and that stone is too. It's a fair trade. Thank you." She turned her attention to Sasuke and patted him on the shoulder, "Thank both of you."

Naruto turned his head when he heard footsteps and was greeted with a familiar voice, "Wow, it looks like a twister ripped through this place." Tenten and Kyuubi walked through the wreckage and laid eyes on the three in the room. Tenten shook her head when she saw Naruto's bloody nose from Aoi's headbutt, "Apparently that twister was named Naruto Uzumaki…"

Naruto grinned and was about to explain when he was glomped by Kyuubi, "Naruto-kun are you okay? I heard you using Chouon Aigou from the hotel and figured that you were in a fight."

Naruto grinned, "Yep, we're fine. Me and the deputy were just enjoying Tanzaku Gai's nightlife scene. And look who we ran into!"

The girls looked to see Tsunade standing next to Sasuke. Tenten let out a fangirl squeal and ran over to her, shaking her hand fervently. Sasuke walked over and picked at his blood-caked knuckles with his fingernails, "Well this was a productive night… We made a shitload of cash, Got into a bunch of fights, and best of all no one made me bleed my own blood. I'm going to bed… what is it, three in the morning?"

Naruto watched his friend duck through the wrecked casino to take his leave. He looked back at Tsunade, who was busy with Tenten bugging her and asking questions. He wrapped an arm around Kyuubi's waist and began walking away, "Hey Tsunade-baachan! We're going on home! Tenten let her be, we'll see her tomorrow."

Tenten reluctantly backed off, but remembered that Kyuubi told her that she and Naruto had found her house earlier in the day so he wasn't lying, she'd see her tomorrow. She jogged to catch up with her friends as the all left.

"AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH! HUNGWELL HAMBURGER!"

Tsunade cringed at the sound of the voice and grabbed the announcer before dragging him back downstairs, "You're helping me cash this out you little bastard…"

XxX

(The Next Day)

As the group from Konoha showed up at Tsunade's home the following morning they were met with a beaming Shizune upon entry to the massive house. Naruto noticed the look on her face and spoke on it, "Shizune-neechan what's up? You seem ecstatic about something today."

Shizune pulled the two boys of the group into a hug, "Thank you both. You two really helped out Tsunade-sama and myself last night. She told me what you two did, she's really taken a shine to you two."

She then left them downstairs and went upstairs to attend to her own duties. Not too long after they saw Shizune returning downstairs with a bunch of suitcases, placing them by the front door. Before anyone could ask anything about it a shout came from outside, "Shizune!"

Everyone exited the house to see Tsunade standing in front of a brand new Volkswagen Jetta. Upon seeing the looks on the faces of all of the kids she shrugged, "What? I'm not walking to Konoha. And I did win an absurd amount of money last night didn't I?"

Tenten's eyes lit up as she walked out in front of everyone else, "Tsunade-sama you're actually coming with us to Konoha? That's great!"

Tsunade smirked, "Yep. Sasuke and the blonde brat here helped me out a ton. I'm someone that repays my debts no matter how long they take, and this one shouldn't be too hard to repay at all considering what Naruto asked me to do yesterday. I can gut it out in Konoha long enough to hear what Jiraiya has to say."

Shizune went to grab the suitcases and Naruto followed behind to help her out as they both threw them in the trunk. Naruto walked up to Tsunade and grinned, "So now that you're all in the clear now are you going to stop gambling? Your profile said that you were bad at it and racked up a ton of debts, well those are gone now."

Tsunade ruffled Naruto's hair, "Don't worry brat. From now on I'm only betting on sure things… Now who's coming along for the ride back to Konoha? Or would you all rather wait on a bus?"

The kids tried to pile in the backseat rapidly after she finished her sentence, only to end up cursing each other out and finding no way for everyone to get inside. Tenten eventually yelled for everyone to shut the hell up as she started to direct traffic. She got in first, much to Sasuke's dislike until a glare from the brown-eyed girl silenced him, she ordered Naruto inn second and told Kyuubi to sit on his lap. Sasuke was the last person in. Surprisingly everyone fit inside.

Naruto blinked as he shifted his girlfriend around on his lap, "Wow… That was actually really easy."

Shizune got in on the driver's side, Tsunade took the passenger's seat and they took off for Konoha. They all pretty much chatted and got to know each other until Sasuke finally took his chance, "So Tsunade… I have a question that I've just been dying to ask, but Naruto told me not to. Well, this is a long car ride so I'll just go ahead and ask you now. Can you tell me what you know about a man named Orochimaru?"

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**Man this was a long chapter for this particular story. All right… I'm going to sleep, then I'll hit it hard on another story of mine. Later.**

**Kenchi out.**


	22. The Trials Ahead

Review Shoutouts

**TheOneWhoHasNoLife: Well thanks for the thought. I'm not stopping this story because like I've said before, I like writing it so no worries there.**

**DjFatT: Thanks, I wanted to make this story different than my other ideas and I think I've done it so far.**

**dragon823: I hope it does too, I really do.**

**road kill609: No he was choked unconscious before Tsunade ran off to place a bet so he didn't bet on the last fight. And I never thought of it that way. Maybe fighting does help write fight scenes, it makes sense.**

**SpeeDemon: Don't I know it. I bet on Chael Sonnen against Anderson Silva last weekend I almost won so much money just off of betting 20 bucks, the odds were that much against Sonnen.**

**Kalevra: Yes Hungwell Hamburger. It's an amazing name. If I ever go to jail I'm writing that down as my alias.**

**Mes-012: You have full express permission to use Hungwell Hamburger at the bowling alley, provided that it will actually fit.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, to own Naruto would make me successful and of course we all know that I surely am not.

I'm just an average man with an average life. I work from 9 to 5 and hell I pay the price.

All I want is to be left alone in my average home, but why I do I always feel like I'm in the twilight zone and…

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCHING MEEEE! AND I HAVE NO PRIVACY… WHOOOA!

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCH-

Ahem… Sorry about that, them ripples got me. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

P.S. I do not own that song either in case someone tries suing my balls to the wall… all you'd get would be 137 bucks anyway…

**Chapter 22: The Trials Ahead**

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Naruto walked into his apartment after finishing his report on his mission. After arriving in Konoha, Sasuke was dropped off at his house while Kyuubi opted to follow everyone else to Kaisha Hein HQ. Tsunade moved to head to her meeting with Jiraiya, Shizune in tow, while Naruto and Tenten filled out their reports on the mission and collected their pay and, in Naruto's case, his bounty.

Kicking off his shoes in the living room and throwing his shirts onto the floor in his room he collapsed on his bed where he was joined by Kyuubi, "You tired Naruto-kun?"

Naruto smiled as he felt the girl lay down on top of his chest, "A little bit I guess. I'm feeling a little drained, but I'm so rich right now… I can't wait to spend it all on something stupid." He then placed a kiss down on the girl's head that elicited a short giggle from her.

He grunted as he felt her shift into a position on the bed that was actually comfortable. Kyuubi kissed him on his chin, "Are you going to spend some of that on me?"

Naruto grinned at her, "Hey, have you seen how bare my house is? I need to spend all of this on useless crap to fix this stupid place up and make it look like an actual home instead of a piss-poor safehouse. Or better yet I need to check with my landlord and see if I can get that penthouse room he's been bragging about since he set it up."

Kyuubi frowned slightly, "I don't see why you don't move in with me and my family Naruto-kun. Dad said he would let you, he said it would be easier to train you that way. My family likes you and we have lots of space."

A sigh came from Naruto, "Because Isshin would also use that opportunity to give me the scary 'I-don't-want-you-touching-my-daughter' speech and he would also put the squeeze on us when it came to our private time. Your mom is cool once I got past the teasing, but that stuff also puts your dad into full-on bloodhound mode, or have you not noticed that every time we're at your house he'll find us and won't leave until I do?"

Naruto cringed slightly as he felt Kyuubi sink her teeth loosely into his neck, "Be nice. He's just worried about me. You don't exactly come off as the most trustworthy guy right off the bat when people meet you."

"And yet somehow you trusted me enough to follow me around all day when we first met." Naruto looked over outside his window and saw that the sun had set, "When do I have to get you home?"

Kyuubi's face scrunched in thought before a sly smirk came to her face, "Technically we're back a day early. I don't have to go home until tomorrow."

Naruto grinned down at her, "You still have clothes here?" At that the girl nodded, "Well then, how would you like to spend the night with me my dear?"

Kyuubi planted a kiss on Naruto's lips and stood up before heading to the closet to grab some sleeping clothes and then to his shower, swaying her hips the entire way. Naruto watched her walk out of the room with a still existing grin that wouldn't leave his face as he saw her take off her shirt while walking away, "I freaking love that girl…"

XxX

(Uchiha Main House)

Sasuke sighed as he sat down at his desk in his bedroom. Dropping a small writing pad onto the surface he clasped his hands together in thought, 'I'm in over my head here… What kind of bullshit case have I stirred up?'

_(Flashback – The car ride back to Konoha)_

"…_Can you tell me what you know about a man named Orochimaru?"_

_The entire car went silent. Naruto and Tenten went silent because they were fully aware of who this Orochimaru was for the most part, he used to work closely with their company before becoming a criminal. Kyuubi was silent because Naruto was silent, except for the whispers from the blonde claiming that Sasuke had the absolute worst social timing._

_Shizune was silent as she kept her eyes on the road because she was well aware of Tsunade's history and thoughts on Orochimaru. Tsunade herself finally took a breath and decided to speak, "Why would you want to know anything about Orochimaru, huh little Uchiha?"_

_Sasuke apparently was just as bad at Naruto at reading general social situations since all he did was whip out a small writing pad and a pen, "Well, I'm apprenticing under my father and one of his requirements for me to get to the next stage of my training is to shed some relevant light on an old closed case, it's a tradition he says. This just so happens to be the one that I ended up getting."_

_Tsunade let the car slip into silence once more as the sounds of the wind from outside were the only noises being heard for quite a while. Sasuke raised an impatient eyebrow, but a sharp elbow from Kyuubi got him to stay his tongue for the time being._

_Tsunade sighed and rubbed the space between her eyes, "I'm sure that if you were worth even half your salt as any kind of cop, trainee or otherwise, that you would know somewhat about my connection to Orochimaru. Why else would you be shaking me down right now?"_

_Sasuke frowned. Is that what she thought this was? "I'm not trying to shake you down. It's just that you're pretty much the closest lead I can possibly think of right now. I mean, you're the only person that I know of that knew Orochimaru at all."_

_Tsunade chuckled bitterly, "So that distinction belongs to me does it?" She looked back at the kids who were simply listening intently, "Alright Uchiha brat. Listen up, because you're lucky you're even getting this out of me, it's only because I owe you and the blonde insane brat with the red-head on his lap that I'm telling you this."_

_Sasuke nodded silently and readied his pen to write information down. Tsunade took a second before speaking, "You know that I worked closely with Orochimaru do you not?"_

_Sasuke nodded, "It was said that you had a mutually beneficial relationship. You both helped each other in your fields of choice. Your medical studies helped him in his chemical research and vice versa."_

_Tsunade shook her head, "Is that the story that the police have on our relationship?" Sasuke looked at her oddly, "Come on Uchiha brat… Don't you know that nothing in this world is that straightforward?"_

_Sasuke turned his head to glare at both Naruto and Tenten who were snickering at him. Naruto smirked at him, "What have I been telling you deputy? You need to get yourself out of that law enforcement strain of thinking, it'll mess you up."_

_Tsunade pointed her thumb backwards, "Listen to the kid, he's right. Orochimaru may have had records in Kaisha Hein, but the truth of the matter is that he was never a mercenary for the company, he just had a close relationship with myself and Jiraiya. He was a decent person at first, a little strange, but he was a good enough guy."_

_Tenten blinked from her seat, "What happened?"_

_Tsunade took a breath, "When Orochimaru first started acting strange none of us thought too much of it. Everyone has their quirks to cope with things over time and we just figured he was spending so much time on traveling sabbaticals and in his laboratories in Konoha just as his own method."_

_Naruto nodded, he knew a bunch of people like that. Obito was relentlessly upbeat and mischievous, almost like a child, Kakashi read porn on an almost around the clock basis, Zabuza was mildly psychotic as was Anko, Tsunade drank and gambled, Jiraiya was a pervert of almost obscene proportions, and Gai… Naruto wasn't even going to get into his string of bullshit._

_Tsunade looked back at the kids, "I wish it was like that. Orochimaru simply started digging into deeper and darker things that people shouldn't have had any business pondering. Jiraiya just kept on saying it was simply jutsu research because Orochimaru was always a sucker for ninjutsu, but it went further than that."_

_She clinched her fists, "He started pressuring me for new techniques for preservation so that he could do more with his experiments. I got sick of doing things for his own benefit and nothing for my own so he went over my head so to speak… or should I say he got in my head. He hired my little brother who was around your age as his 'bodyguard'. But I knew what it really was, he was a bonafide hostage, a hostage to make me work to help him from afar, and for things that I had no clue on what he was doing." _

_Tsunade took a moment to wipe her eyes, "Eventually our sensei, who was running Kaisha Hein at the time had found enough evidence to believe that Orochimaru's experiments were crimes against humanity. Him, Jiraiya and myself tracked down one of his labs in town and…"_

_Sasuke's pen froze on his notepad as he looked up, "What? What happened?"_

_Shizune noticed that Tsunade wasn't going to speak anytime soon, "They found Tsunade-sama's little brother Nawaki… He ended up being the base for one of Orochimaru's experiments." She took one hand off of the wheel and rubbed Tsunade's shoulder in a consoling motion._

_Tsunade sniffled and wiped her eyes, "I'm okay Shizune. I'm not done yet." She regained her composure to continue, "Orochimaru had fled the city by the time we got there and word of his whereabouts had reached HQ around the same time that we had informed them of what we found. I had a fiancée at the time, Dan, He was Shizune's uncle. Dan got both pieces of news at the same time and assembled a pursuit force to give chase. I found out about it and me and Jiraiya went out after him."_

_She stopped and looked out the window, "When we caught up the entire team was dead except for Dan, and even he was on the verge of dying himself. Even me, the best medic in the world couldn't do a single thing for him, he died right in my arms. After that I had enough and just walked away from it all and ended up focusing on medicine. A few years later there was another incident that was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak and I just left."_

"_So you haven't been in contact with him in basically twenty years then?"_

_Tsunade looked back at Sasuke who was looking at her sadly, "If I knew where that snake was hiding I would have found him and wrung his neck out a long time ago brat. If you have any more questions then track me down when we get back to Konoha. Going too much in depth right now isn't really something I'm too eager to do at the moment."_

_Sasuke placed his writing pad down and nodded._

_(End Flashback)_

"How was your trip with Naruto over the weekend Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke re-focused on his surroundings and saw his mother looking at him from the doorway of his room. Giving her a small smile he responded, "It was fine mom. Naruto said that uncle Obito says hi."

Mikoto gave Sasuke a pleasant smile, "Well dinner should be ready in about an hour. Welcome home Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke chuckled to himself as he turned his attention back to his work, 'I need to get Naruto to help me find Tsunade before she leaves…'

XxX

(One Week Later – The Res)

Naruto focused a deep glare on Kyuubi's father Isshin who simply glanced back with a bored look. The stare Naruto was giving him was almost as if he wanted the man to spontaneously combust. Isshin yawned and looked at his watch, "Are we done yet kid? It's abundantly clear that you suck at this technique."

Naruto kept up his stare, "Shut up old man! I'm getting this move down before I get deployed again and that's that!"

For the last few sessions at Kyuubi's family home, Naruto had been working on the next tier of demonic techniques inside of their dojo. He had gotten down Onijutsu: Dokureiki (Demon Technique: Poison Aura), which when activated would push out a toxic miasma from the user's body and, depending on the amount of youki pumped into the jutsu and the intent behind it, would have effects ranging from dizzy spells and flu-like symptoms, to flat-out physical illness based off of crippling poisonous effects such as paralysis, outright temporary (or not so temporary) blindness, and Naruto's personal favorite… explosive diarrhea, among other things. The next attack was more of a supplementary technique, Kitsune no Hifu Koka (Fox Skin Hardening), this would keep Naruto from suffering piercing attacks and deflecting them, protecting him from being stabbed for instance. Very useful he would say.

There were only two techniques that he wasn't even close to pulling off which was Onijutsu: Doukatsu Shogekiha (Demon Technique: Bluster Shockwave). It would take the user's personal bravado and combine it with bloodlust and natural intimidation to shake an opponent's nerves. It was also passive, as once it was successful you didn't have to hold the jutsu and could cut loose and attack. This technique was an illusion based jutsu that required eye-contact and a steady flow of youki up at the user's eyes.

The other that he just couldn't get was Onijutsu: Kitsune no Manto (Demon Technique: Fox Cloak), the transparency maneuver from Tanzaku Gai. Naruto always had difficulty with illusions, which was why Haku and Rin never bothered trying to teach him any genjutsu, it would have been worthless for the most part, so he was having a tough time with these two in particular.

Kyuubi watched her boyfriend turn red as he tried to lock the attack onto her father, "Naruto-kun, stop holding your breath. You're going to pass out again, that isn't focusing."

Naruto let out a breath and turned to his girlfriend, who was sitting off to the side, "Damn it! Why do I suck at these so much? I think I've finally hit that proverbial brick wall. You know? When you can't go any further with something, because this is like using my head to bash down a concrete barrier."

Isshin snorted with a smirk, "With your head I'd bet on the barrier crumbling before anything else."

Naruto flipped a middle finger to Isshin, "Maybe if my training for the techniques weren't something more than either a glorified staring contest or a hide and seek competition in plain sight I'd have better luck getting them down?"

Isshin chuckled at his misfortune, "Kid maybe you're just not cut out for the illusion brand of our powers, I can't see why though… Kitsune-type half-demons have something of a propensity towards them and yet you seem to fail infinitely at them."

Naruto frowned, "It's all technical nuances that are keeping me from executing the moves. With Kitsune no Manto I can't keep my thin film of youki around my body thin enough to use the move, with Doukatsu Shogekiha I can't keep a constant steady flow of youki in my eyes… maybe I should talk to Sasuke or Itachi about that, they have that f'ing Sharingan so they must know something about focusing their eyes right?"

Isshin stroked his chin, "Alright, you're done for the day. Go home and get some rest kid, hit it hard again tomorrow."

Naruto sighed and started to put his shoes and jacket on, "I will, I'm not heading straight home though, I need to go grab some stuff first." He walked over to Kyuubi and gave her a short kiss on the lips, "I'll call you when I get home so you don't freak out or anything okay?"

A wry smile came to Kyuubi's mouth as she pulled him down for one last kiss, "Don't get lost on your way home Naruto-kun, your sense of direction is total shite."

Isshin growled, "Hey, hey, hey! No PDA's in my house you little bastard!"

Naruto turned a vulpine smirk towards his girlfriend's father before pulling Kyuubi to her feet and giving her one long kiss that had her bending backwards somewhat. Naruto let go and faux saluted Isshin before sprinting out of the house with Isshin hot on his heels.

XxX

(Later That Night)

Naruto was in his living room with a headset on and a controller in his hand, "Damn it Kiba stop stealing my kills!"

"Fuck you Naruto, finish your shots then!"

In an effort to take the edge off of the tension he had been feeling due to his lack of progress in his training, Naruto thought it a good idea to take his newfound money and buy a game system and an Ethernet hookup so that he could play online, and found that Kiba from school had also squandered his own small fortune and bought one himself, which led to now.

Naruto sighed and put the controller down as another match came to an end, "Kiba, go to bed, you need to get up for school tomorrow."

Kiba growled on the other end, "Look who's talking. If you skip tomorrow and send another of those stupid copies of you I'll tell Kyuubi and she'll come and kick your lazy ass after school."

Naruto grumbled through his headset, "Fine, see you tomorrow. Later." With that Naruto took off the headset and turned the game off before heading off to bed for the night. As he set himself in bed for the night tried the Kitsune no Manto one last time. Only seeing his skin take on a pale glow before he released the technique he grunted in frustration and got into bed.

XxX

(The Next Day – South Konoha High School)

Naruto sat with his head on his desk, "Deputy you really suck at giving advice on training you know that?"

Sasuke glared at him while Sakura and Ino took up spaces on both sides of him in Iruka's class, "Well excuse me if eye-based jutsu and the like come naturally to me dobe. Why would you ask someone with a doujutsu anyway? Using them is second nature to us. Usually after I activate Sharingan I don't have to think about it until I want to turn it off."

Naruto bounced his head off of the wood surface, "That's just fucking great. So I can do anything but distort reality. *sigh*"

Kyuubi stroked his head in a consoling fashion, "Aww Naruto-kun it's okay. You can go ahead and learn the next tier of techniques. It's not that you haven't been trying or you don't get it. Those jutsu take a lot of control to use, you have so much raw chakra it's always going to be hard to learn techniques that use less chakra and force you to mediate power."

Naruto picked himself up off of the desk and placed his forehead against hers, "Thank you Kyuubi-chan. I still feel like I'm letting you and your dad down. Even when I use a few Kage Bunshin to try and speed up the process I can't get them down just right."

Iruka walked in and made his way to the desk at the front of the room while everyone kept on chattering away. Checking his watch and nodding to himself he cleared his throat, "SHUT THE HELL UP!" And brought the class to silence.

One second later the bell rang, "Alright then, let's get started for the day shall we?"

XxX

(Four Hours Later)

Naruto dropped his head on the lunch table as his friends took their usual places. Ino noticed the thud of the impact his head made, "Wow Naruto… Lazy much?"

Naruto opened one blue eye to the fellow blonde, "I need a vacation. I was supposed to have been on one a few weeks back but that plan was shot all to hell. For the last six months I've basically been training and working, no real down time."

Sakura looked at Naruto curiously, never having really paid attention to him before, she now took note of the faint signs of wear around his eyes. Little did she know that those weren't just signs of exhaustion, they were also slight side effects of him trying to work his eyes so much. A day of rest could easily fix him, he really must have been pretty busy, "You don't look too good Naruto. Why don't you just head on home?"

Naruto smirked faintly, "And who, pray tell, is going to check me out? I'm an orphan Sakura, no guardian or anything. I can't just keep on leaving or they really will fail me for absences from my classes and I'm not staying in this fluorescently lit hell-hole any longer than I have to." A yawn broke his speech, "I can't wait until Friday afternoon… I'm going to sleep like the dead this weekend, count on it."

Choji poked at Naruto, who simply grunted with every jab, "What has he been doing? Sakura is right, he looks like crap."

Kyuubi stopped Choji from messing with him and sighed, "He's probably been just overworking himself. I told him to rest when he got home, but he's probably still trying those jutsu when he gets in his house. It's really eating at him that he can't do them. The idiot gave himself chakra exhaustion."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "What jutsu? We don't know all too much what Naruto can do besides the stuff we saw him do when he fought Kiba. How many more does he know?"

Sasuke smirked, "He has a lot actually. I have more though."

Naruto's voice resounded off of the table, "Shut it deputy. We all don't have magic eyes to help us learn new things, some of us have to actively work."

Smirking at his cranky sounding friend, Sasuke turned his attention to Shikamaru, "So have you been able to do anything with the information I've been getting you?" He turned back to Naruto, "Oh, Naruto did you know Tsunade is still in town?"

Naruto nodded, head still on the table, "It's kind of hard not to know since I've been running into her every day when I go to get some light work. You get all of your real questions answered?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, Shikamaru helped me find out about pretty much the only single person that Orochimaru conducted DNA experiments on that actually survived. He still lives in the city believe it or not."

Naruto, with great effort, lifted his head off of the table, "I've told you once and I'll keep telling you deputy, pick another case to do. This seems like it's over your head and I don't want to be around you when it blows up in your face, and trust me it will, it always does." Once again he let his head drop with a thud.

Shaking his head deftly, Sasuke gave Naruto a defiant glare, "I can't just quit, not when I'm figuring deeper into this whole thing than anyone else has so far."

Naruto rolled his tired eyes, "You ever figure that there was a reason that no one else ever got this far? Like they, I don't know, disappeared or something?"

Sakura gave Naruto a somewhat hostile look, "No one is going to kill Sasuke-kun. There isn't anyone that can, and besides, who would try to make the son of the chief of police disappear?"

Kyuubi blew her bangs from her face as she gave Sakura a dry look, "How about the guy that's been evading police capture since before you were born?"

Shikamaru had found a napkin and wrote down some base information on the person Sasuke was searching for, "Here. Go look this guy up before you try anything, you might want to take someone with you when you try to find him too."

Sasuke smirked at him, "Are you volunteering?"

Shikamaru scoffed, "Yeah right, try Kiba or something. I'm not getting any more involved than I have to. You're just lucky that you pay me so well or you wouldn't be getting this much effort out of me."

Sasuke pocketed the napkin and looked across the table, "So Naruto this weekend-."

"No." He said, without even looking.

Sasuke blinked in surprise, "What? Who else am I going to take with me?"

"I'll go with you Sasuke-kun!" Was the cry that went up from Sakura and Ino.

"I actually would rather have someone with me that could help me avoid getting a knife slipped into my kidneys." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Why not you? You always go on these kinds of things with me."

Naruto pointed at his haggard appearance, "If the shit really goes down out there how well do you think I would do in this condition? I don't think I have the strength to fight off your two fangirls right now, let alone someone actively trying to kill us." He cracked an eye, "If you still want to go this weekend then ask Kiba and I'll get you someone else to help you. Not a company worker though, just someone that owes me a favor."

Kyuubi latched onto Naruto and rubbed her face against the side of his that was sticking up, "My Naru-kun isn't going to be doing anything until he's better, and that means he's going to be keeping his ass in bed this weekend until I say he's okay…" She finished with a low growl that made Naruto quickly agree.

Sasuke shrugged and turned his head, "So Kiba, you doing anything this weekend?"

Kiba gave Sasuke a dull look while chewing his food before swallowing, "Oh so now I'm a part of the conversation? I just figured I was here to eat lunch and sit in the background looking pretty."

Sasuke and a lot of the people around the table sweat-dropped, "Yeah… Anyway are you in? Do you want to go with me and Naruto's ringer to find some guy for me?"

Kiba wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Are you going to pay for my food that day?" Sasuke nodded and Kiba gave him a grin, "Well then I'll be there, give me the place to meet up."

Naruto grinned weakly, "See how easy that was deputy? And bring snausages too, Kiba just loves those snausages."

Kiba growled at Naruto, "Fuck you Naruto!"

Naruto chuckled lightly, "There's only one person at this table I'd let do that to me."

XxX

(Saturday Afternoon)

Sasuke stood outside of the doorway to a fast food burger joint waiting on his associates for his self-given mission for the day. The first person he saw come up was Kiba, who had a pretty decent sized dog walking in step next to him. Kiba grinned as he came up to Sasuke, "What's up man? We still waiting on our mystery guest?"

Sasuke nodded and fished in his pocket for a few bucks before handing the bills off to Kiba, "Go get us some food and I'll wait out here for the last person."

Kib nodded and handed Sasuke a leash, "Watch my dog? He isn't going to go anywhere or anything, it's just that the animal control are real bastards and wouldn't lose any sleep over locking Akamaru up."

Sasuke looked down at the white furred dog who simply looked up at him while panting lightly, "So… how's life?"

Akamaru barked, which caused Sasuke to raise an eyebrow, "One bark for yes, two barks for no." Sasuke saw Akamaru nod in agreement.

"You can understand me perfectly right?"

"Arf!"

"Can you fight alongside Kiba the way he's been telling everyone since we've been in middle school?"

"Arf!"

"Are you going to be all loud and disruptive while we're doing this?"

"Arf! Arf!"

Sasuke got a small smirk on his face, "Does Kiba like snausages?"

He could swear that he saw the dog smile when he said that, "Arf!"

"When Uzumaki-san called me I wasn't aware that I'd be working with an animal as well Uchiha-san."

Sasuke turned towards the sound of the voice to see the familiar sight of Neji Hyuuga glancing over at him coolly, "Neji. Naruto roped you into doing this for him? How the hell did he manage to pull that off?"

Neji walked up and stood next to Sasuke on the opposite side of Akamaru, "I owed him and you for getting my cousins back from those kidnappers remember? It may have been a job for him, but it wasn't for you and for that you were in my debt."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Sasuke noticed Kiba coming out of the restaurant with a bag and a soda in his hand. Kiba noticed the looks that he was getting from Sasuke and Neji, "What? Did you guys want drinks too?"

Sasuke took the bag from Kiba and pulled out one of the burgers before attempting to hand the bag to Neji, who turned his nose up at the food offered, "You two can eat that uncultured trash if you want to. I for one won't be partaking."

Sasuke shrugged and opened the burger before throwing it to Akamaru who wolfed it down swiftly. He then pulled out another one for himself, "Alright, whatever you say. We have a bunch if you change your tune, like twelve dollars worth… Damn Kiba do you think we have enough?"

Kiba smirked, "I didn't eat breakfast today and you said you were paying so why not?" Focusing on the task at hand, Kiba turned slightly serious, "Okay Sasuke, where are we going and who are we looking for."

Sasuke pulled out an address and passed it between the two of them, "We're looking for a man named Tenzo, no surname. He is however known in some circles as Mokuton no Tenzo due to the experiments done on him twenty years ago."

Neji looked confused, "Experiments?"

Kiba patted him on the shoulder, "We'll tell you on the way." Neji shook his hand off snappishly, "What's your problem man?"

Neji turned to walk away, "I'm here as a favor to someone. I will work with a brute like you for as long as I am required to, but do not act as though we are familiar."

Sasuke palmed his forehead, "I can see that this day is going to go just great. I'm calling Naruto because I swear he might have done this to mess with one of us."

Kiba started eating his own food while waiting for the call to go through.

XxX

(Naruto's Apartment)

Naruto flipped open his phone while laying in bed with Kyuubi, who was asleep, "Hello."

"Naruto what is up with sending Neji to help us out? I think he and Kiba might tear each other apart by the time the sun sets."

Naruto rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Listen up, I could have hired a mercenary to help you with this, but that would be coming out of my own pocket, and as much as I would say we're friends you are not worth payment on a mission for someone of the same skill level that I could get for free."

"Couldn't you have at least sent his cousin instead? She's sweet, and you're right she is really hot."

Naruto smirked, "I know, but she's also really busy. I tried, you'll just have to deal with his B.S. for the day. Remember, don't call me, I'm useless for the day and Kyuubi-chan wouldn't let me leave regardless. Just keep from killing Neji, and if you do kill Neji remember to turn his body to ash to cover your tracks. Later."

"Whatever dobe. Get back on your feet soon, I hate working with un-familiars."

Naruto nodded and shut his phone before settling back down on his pillow. He felt Kyuubi wrap her arms around him and begin to stir, "Naruto-kun, can you turn the TV on please?"

Naruto picked up the remote control on his nightstand and clicked it on, "I fucking hate cable…"

Naruto heard his door open up and footsteps come inside, "Maa, Naruto are you home?"

Naruto looked at the girl in his grasp, "Are you decent Kyuubi-chan? We've got company."

She looked up at him with a confused look, "You let people have the key to the apartment?"

Naruto nodded, "They were the ones that made the first payments of my rent anyway, and besides, you and Sasuke have keys so why not?" Naruto turned towards his door where he could see movement down the hall, "I'm in the bedroom Kakashi! And tell Obito to get the fuck out of my refrigerator!"

"Fuck you brat!" Rang out from the kitchen.

Kakashi poked his head in the threshold of the bedroom to see Naruto being held close by his red-haired girlfriend. Giving him an eye-smile and a pleasant wave he walked in, "Well Naruto, I heard you weren't feeling too well and decided to come over here to see how you were doing."

Naruto smiled at the man, "Thanks Kakashi, if you brought Obito then where's Rin-neechan?"

Obito walked into the room with one of Naruto's instant ramen cups in hand, complete with disposable chopsticks, "Rin's got a few hours of hospital duty today and couldn't come." As he saw what his honorary little brother was currently doing he grinned at him, "Way to go kid. Never thought you had it in you to bed a cutie like this."

Naruto and Kyuubi gave Obito a deadpan look before she formed a blue fireball on her fingertip and threw it at Obito who cackled down the hall as he ran away, "I like that girl brat! Feisty!"

Kakashi gave Naruto an apologetic look, "Sorry Naruto, I'll see you later. Get better soon."

Naruto waved goodbye to Kakashi and nestled back down with Kyuubi before Obito's voice rang out one last time, "Don't forget to use protection brat! I saw the condoms in your medicine cabinet!"

Naruto got a tick mark on his head and tried to get up before Obito got away, but Kyuubi held him down, "Damn you Obito, you're so dead when I get my strength back!"

XxX

(Downtown Konoha)

After the meeting at the fast food place, Sasuke directed the group downtown where Tenzo was working. Making their way to city hall, Kiba had to stay outside with Akamaru due to their no animals policy.

Sasuke and Neji walked to the main desk where the secretary noticed the two of them, "Yes? Can I help you two?"

Neji turned on the diplomatic speech for the conversation, "Yes, if you could direct us to where we could find a Tenzo?"

The secretary looked at her schedule, "I'm sorry, he has an appearance at one of the recently rebuilt parks in town, he's our Director of Agriculture and he's been very busy these days. I can set up an appointment for you later this week if you would like?"

Neji looked at Sasuke who frowned but nodded anyway. Turning back to the secretary he nodded, "Yes, write Sasuke Uchiha in for a meeting if you could."

She nodded and wrote him down in her schedule, "Okay, Sasuke Uchiha has a meeting on Monday afternoon with Director Tenzo. Is that alright?"

Neji gave her a small smile, "Yes that is fine. Thank you for your time, have a nice day." At that the two boys headed back outside when Kiba came running up to them.

Kiba had a curious look on his face, "Well that was fast. What happened?"

Sasuke sighed, "I have a meeting. At least it's not a dead end and I can actually talk to the guy through the system instead of having to go around it this time."

Neji turned to head towards the Hyuuga mansion in The Res, "If that is all then our business is concluded Sasuke Uchiha. Good day."

Kiba narrowed his eyes at Neji's retreating form, "I really don't like that guy. How does Naruto know this guy again?"

Sasuke motioned for Kiba to follow him, "It's a long story. Are you doing anything else today? We've got nothing but time, I was expecting to be stuck doing this all day."

Kiba grinned and Akamaru barked happily, "Not really, what do you have in mind?"

XxX

(That Night – Naruto's Apartment)

Naruto awoke in the middle of the night with the TV still on and Kyuubi still wrapped firmly around him. With a small yawn he broke her grip softly so that he could stand and grab something to eat. Looking at the clock he saw that it was around 1 in the morning. As he began boiling the water for his ramen he felt the atmosphere in his apartment shift, like something was out of place.

Sighing more to himself than anything he turned around and looked into the general darkness of the rest of the apartment, "You know… Attacking me in my house isn't really a smart thing to do. Get out now or your life is forfeit."

Three boys around Naruto's age came from the shadows brandishing kunai. They all had clothing that looked like straighjackets and had breathing apparatuses on their mouths as the one with both of his eyes visible spoke, "Well isn't this lucky? He isn't even going to try and run or anything."

One of the other boys, one with both of his eyes covered moved forward, "Let's just kill him and go Oboro. It's a long way home from here."

The leader, now known as Oboro, spoke up, "Fine Kagari, fine. Alright, just sit tight and die like a good boy and we'll be on our way."

Naruto laughed, "You shouldn't have come here, don't you guys know? Fighting a mercenary in his own home is tantamount to suicide…" Naruto pulled open a drawer and grabbed a handful of knives, flinging a few at the team of assassins.

As they scattered around his living room, Naruto launched himself at the one with only one of his eyes covered. Before the boy could put up a defense Naruto stabbed him in the shoulder and kicked him away.

As he cried out in pain his teammates grabbed him and pulled him back with one standing guard while the other pulled out the knife. Kagari spoke up, "Mubi, are you alright?"

Mubi held his wound while trying to stand up, "He stabbed me with a goddamn butter knife! I'll slit your throat you bastard!"

Naruto carefully maneuvered around while the three boys kept eyes on him at all times. Naruto eventually positioned himself by his TV and tapped a space on the table that held it up. A hidden compartment in the table deposited shuriken into his hands and Naruto was quick to send them out at his enemies. Using the projectiles as cover, Naruto jumped over his coffee table and big couch to kick one of them in the face and begin fighting them up close.

The two others tried slashing at him with their kunai but it was clear that close quarters battle wasn't their forte as in the tight spaced fight Naruto maneuvered them so that they ended up stabbing each other in the melee.

Naruto ripped one of the kunai straight from one of his attacker's still alive and moving bodies and threw it at the third member who had recovered and was attempting hand-signs. The kunai hit him flush in the belly and sent him crumpling to his knees, "Damn it! He won't even let us make hand-signs to do any jutsu!"

Naruto smashed one of his enemies in the face with a double-fisted smash and threw the other one at the teammate that had tried casting a jutsu. They ended up flying through Naruto's window and fell three floors to the ground.

The last remaining attacker saw his team fall from the window and was up to assist them, "Kagari! Oboro!" Dodging a haymaker from Naruto he flew out the broken window and to the ground where he picked up his two partners and retreated quickly for someone with two people over his shoulders.

As he watched them run, Naruto yelled out through the night air, "Hey come back! I'm not done yet! Come back and wreck my apartment some more you assclowns!" After a moment he went to look under his kitchen sink for some duct tape to seal his window shut until he could replace it, "Why do all of the freaks come after me? Why are assassins after me anyway?"

He looked down the hall to see that Kyuubi hadn't come investigating any of the noise that had been ringing through the house, "Man that girl is a heavy sleeper…"

* * *

Omake: Basketball Jones

Out back of South Konoha High School we find some familiar faces planning to unwind after the travel of the past few days. This down time consisted of Naruto, Sasuke, Kyuubi, and Tenten getting together to play a short game of basketball.

Naruto dribbled the orange ball in unnecessarily flashy ways before passing the ball off to Sasuke, "Okay, it's me and the deputy against you two. Shirts vs. skins so there's no confusion. Of course, Sasuke and myself will be shirts." He finished while grinning like an idiot.

(10 Minutes Later)

After patching up his wounds from all of the slash marks and projectile wounds on his body he passed the ball to the girls, "The game is to 21, win by two, rules are make it take it. You girls take it out."

Kyuubi nodded and checked the ball in-bounds to Tenten who immediately put the ball up and made their shot with a resounding 'swish'. Sasuke picked the ball up and passed it back to Kyuubi, "That's one. It's still your ball."

Kyuubi tried to throw the ball straight to Tenten once again but this time Sasuke was quick to cover her. Not willing to bully the girl to the ground he allowed her to get outside of the three-point line, almost to half court. Kyuubi threw the ball in and once again Tenten took an immediate shot that once again went sailing through the iron ring with a swish of the net.

(13 Minutes Later)

The orange ball flew through the air rainbow-arc style.

"Good!"

*Swish*

"That's game Naruto-kun." Kyuubi grinned at the two boys who simply stood in awe at what had just transpired.

Naruto pointed his finger at the bun-haired mercenary who was bouncing the ball with a very pleased look on her face, "21 to 0… You didn't miss a single shot."

Sasuke rubbed his eyes and stared at her, unable to comprehend what he had just seen, "We never touched the ball the entire time." He looked at his blonde friend, "What the hell just happened?"

Naruto stared blankly before a lightbulb went off in his head. He vanished and appeared next to Tenten leading her off, "Okay Tenten, here's the plan, I'm going to go and piss off a bunch of street-ball players and challenge them all saying that I can beat them with any random person I see. Then you'll come up, looking all hapless and I'll pick you, then we'll put a wager on the game and break the bank! It's perfect."

Sasuke watched the two walk off when Kyuubi growled and followed close behind, "Damn it Naruto-kun! You were watching 'White Men Can't Jump' again weren't you?"

* * *

**Well hello there! How ya'll doin' now? Kenchi here with another installment of Naruto: SOF for your reading pleasure. I'm out twenty bucks that I shouldn't have lost due to my bet on Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 117. Man he had that fight in the bag until halfway through the last round, damn his submission defense. Oh well, it was still a good show.**

**Time for me to finalize my living quarters for next semester of college (I fucking hate school!) so I'll catch you all later. Read, review, make yourselves some money… and then send some to me because I need it.**

**Kenchi out.**


	23. Slave to the Grind

Review Shoutouts

**DevilJin17: Thank you sir. But when I first wrote this I came to terms with the fact that because it was a modern story even if it **_**was**_** good it wouldn't get many reviews. Maybe because the whole genre has been tagged by mostly being high school emo fests filled with yaoi, or because they mostly don't generate a ton of action for the adrenaline junkies out there. I don't know, I've seen a few done incredibly well and I wanted to try my own hand at a modern setting. **

**Phoenix550: Same as DevilJin17. I can see why you would be apprehensive about reading it due to the modern setting as I mentioned above. I just hope I've gone through with an awesome story.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The keys that I use to write that out have eternal finger marks on them that will never vanish. Seriously, you can tell which keys I never use when I use this damn thing, I write so much.

**Chapter 23: Slave to the Grind**

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The day after his little episode with the guys in breathing masks was spent picking up the pieces of his house that had been destroyed in the short skirmish. Naruto had cleaned the blood off of his floors, picked up and washed all the knives that he had thrown and used as weapons (He had thrown out the one that had actually stabbed someone), the only thing that he couldn't fix before his girlfriend woke up was the broken window that the attackers escaped through. Unfortunately when she woke up and found out that he had been up all night fixing his things she marched him back off to bed while she said that she would handle everything else for him.

Naruto's first sight upon awakening the Monday after the short fight with his would-be assassins was the familiar red-hair of his semi-demonic beau, who had a habit of clinging to him in her sleep, not that he was complaining mind you. As the sunlight filtered through the cracks in his shades he felt around on the body of the sleeping girl and realized just how much he loved Kyuubi's regular sleeping attire.

Since she slept in his house with him most of the time, Naruto gave her shirts to wear while she was sleeping, and for the last few months he had steadily been decreasing the size of shirt that he gave to her, attempting to push his luck in an effort to see exactly how short of a shirt he could give her before she clocked him in the head. He had not been called on it yet, much to his delight. The shirts had started out going past her knees in some cases, this one barely came up past her thighs, and being as clingy as she was in her sleep had ridden the shirt up above her stomach, so Naruto was currently feeling much of her against him and it wasn't a bad feeling at all.

Laying in his bed so early in the morning with her made him realize that he really loved this girl. For years the only positive contact with women he had was in passing. Sure he'd get a hug every blue moon from Rin, Shizune, or Mikoto, but it wasn't really anything that showed him how much he was cared for. Kyuubi had stayed with him for the entire weekend just because he had exhausted himself training his techniques.

Naruto hadn't learned a traditional jutsu in almost six months. He had been focusing on learning to work with his demonic energy more than he had anything else. All he had in the jutsu department were Kawarimi no Jutsu (Substitution Jutsu), Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu), Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullet Jutsu), and Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion), the latter of which he hadn't even found a chance to learn yet, as he only had limited use of the training ground in Kaisha Hein HQ until he got some tenure and if he tried making explosions anywhere in the city he would have the police force so far up his ass that not even a dozen favors from Sasuke could get him out of trouble.

The reason he hadn't tried learning anything new was because of his training to harness his demonic powers. Using his demonic transformation for too long was taxing on his body, but with time he would develop a tolerance that would allow him to use it for a prolonged period. He had made great strides in activating it, now being able to use it on cue. The reason he had been focusing on that facet of his techniques was quite simple. Kyuubi.

He wanted her to be proud of him. Before he met her he wouldn't have given much of a damn about what anyone thought about him, but after they had met he just wanted her eyes to be on him. The feeling of knowing that she approved of what he was doing inspired him for the bulk of his training. Hearing her yell in encouragement or in approval when he was making strides, or seeing her smile when he had gotten something down was addictive.

He also worked his other powers so hard so that he could feel secure in the thought that he could protect her. She was more polished than he was when it came to combat. Her hand-to-hand style was infinitely more fluid than his due to the fact that she had been trained while he had taught himself by stitching together bastardized versions of whatever he thought looked effective. You could fight Naruto and have him stand in a jeet kune do stance right before he runs up to you and elbows you in the face, it was built out of necessity, it was tested the only place that it mattered, in real fights.

She had more control over her demonic techniques than him, she had more of them than him, she had better control than him, but he felt that if it ever came down to a real fight between them he would win, because she had never had to fight for her very life before. She had never killed anyone, she had never really been hurt before. Despite the fact that he was aware that she could fight he still worried that she could get hurt.

The other night was a great example, he was attacked in his own house by people out to kill him. If they had come a few hours earlier he wouldn't have been able to fight them off. He would have been killed, she may have been killed or only Kami knows what else could have happened to her.

It stopped being just about him a long time ago. If it was just him he wouldn't have felt sick to his stomach when he was cleaning up his house thinking about what could have happened. If it was just about him he probably wouldn't have cared that three people just tried to kill him in the dead of night, he probably would have laughed it off and joked that he must have been doing something right in his career to get a hit put out on him. If it was just him he wouldn't even be fucking thinking about half of the things he was thinking about right now. But it wasn't about him, he had someone that actually gave a damn about whether or not his worthless life would come to an end or not. This time last year if he had ended up dead in a ditch somewhere no one would have cared. Sure, Sasuke would have taken it somewhat hard until his funeral, but it would have just inspired him to work harder so that he could protect those closer to him. Kakashi, Rin, and Obito would mourn him, but he was sure that some other vagrant kid would come into their lives and he could be replaced, hell all they would have to do would be to wait until Rin and Kakashi had a kid.

Now he had a girl, that out of the sheer goodness of her heart found it in herself to see something about him that was worth putting up with. She made him actually think about what he was doing before he did it. He couldn't even remember the last time he went gangbusting for fun, he couldn't recall the last time ever doing anything that he knew would flat-out put him in a detention center, he couldn't remember ever not caring about getting home too late to get up the next day, he couldn't even remember the last time he had taken his skateboard out of the house and just bombed a hill for no good reason. Just by being around him and showing that she cared about his well-being made him care about it for himself, if nothing else for her sake, because he sure as hell hadn't beforehand.

She had quickly made her way into his heart and against his best efforts made her way into his professional life, which was the absolute last thing that he wanted to happen. Sasuke was different. Sasuke could not only defend himself, Sasuke had connections as the son of the chief of police and was the little brother to the fastest rising officer in the city; he was next to untouchable. Kyuubi wasn't, she was just a 14 year old girl. Who was going to watch her like Sasuke was watched, His low-class orphan ass? He couldn't intimidate a ten year old boy into staying away from her, let alone freaks and killers. He was getting strong for her, not himself. If it was that simple then he wouldn't work so hard to gain strength he would just let it come to him in time. By now he had enough money that he could coast off of easy jobs for the rest of the year at least.

A change in Kyuubi's breathing pattern let him know she was awake at last. Letting her eyelids flutter open slowly to adjust to the light she eventually rested her tired crimson orbs on Naruto, who was looking down at her wrapped around his chest, "Good morning Naruto-kun… what time is it?"

Naruto tilted his head to check his digital clock, whose alarm he had not set because he was sick of smashing them to pieces upon awakening, "It's around 7:10. We still have until 9 to get to school. We could be late too, I don't care."

Kyuubi smiled at him a planted a kiss on his lips, "You're not skipping school Naruto-kun now that you're all better. Get up and get showered. I'll see if I can make you a breakfast that isn't ramen, okay?"

Naruto kissed her on the forehead and rolled over, placing himself on top of her, "You know I love you right?"

Kyuubi smiled mischievously, "Maybe… You haven't been telling me enough lately. Do you have anything that can show me?"

Naruto grinned and moved his hands up her shirt to grope her breasts, "Perhaps… that is, if you're willing to let me?"

Kyuubi grabbed his hands and kissed the backs of them, "Not before school Naruto-kun. If we start we're not going to stop, and I want our first time to be better than an early morning quickie, or something that ends up with us being late. Go take a shower."

Naruto let her go and stood up before giving her a hopeful look, "Take a shower with me to save some time?"

Kyuubi, who had been stretching, picked up one of his pillows and threw it at him with an amused look on her face, "I'll say it again Naruto-kun, if we start we'll end up being late if we even end up going to school at all." Naruto started making pitiful whining noises at the door, "And if I don't go they'll call home and dad will come looking for me, guess where he'll check first?"

Naruto stopped his noises and turned to head to the bathroom with his shoulders slumped, "I really need to get a new place…"

XxX

(Later that day - South Konoha High School)

Standing out against lockers in the hall in between classes, the friends Sasuke and Naruto caught each other up on their weekends. Sasuke glared half-heartedly at Naruto, "Thanks so much for giving me the stick-in-the-ass Hyuuga kid to work with as a replacement on Saturday, douche."

Naruto chuckled, "Hey, I tried to get you sweet little Hinata. She's just as politically cultured, and infinitely more pleasant to be around. I'm just glad I didn't have to see Neji face to face, I think he's still mad from the time I duct-taped him to a chair."

Sasuke smirked at the memory, "So you got attacked on Saturday night?" Naruto nodded, "Did you learn anything about them?"

Naruto scoffed, "Other than the fact that they dress like mental patients with a penchant for scuba diving and none of them are any good in a fight, no. I almost killed all three of them right then and there. If the last one hadn't jumped out the window to get his teammates that I threw three stories to the ground I would have finished them off."

Sasuke turned to open his locker, "Why didn't you give chase?"

Naruto's eyes peered down the hall while Sasuke put in his combination, "If I had given chase then I would have been leaving Kyuubi-chan all alone in my house with a busted window. Set aside the fact that the assholes got inside anyway without it, what if there had been another one of them waiting in the wings? They could have taken her while I was off killing the goon patrol."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Think they'll be back?"

Naruto nodded, "After what I did they definitely will be. It's just a matter of when. I stabbed one in the shoulder and threw two of them for a three story fall. Who knows when they'll be back?"

Kiba came running up to Sasuke and Naruto with a grin on his face, "Hey you guys! What's up?"

Naruto gave him a pleasant smile, "Not much. Just killing time until next class."

Kiba looked up at the clock on the wall, "It's two minutes to the bell. Let's go, I'm not trying to be a dropout like you Naruto."

Naruto and Sasuke nodded as they followed the feral looking boy.

(5 minutes later)

Kiba was getting testy, "Dude I know that the class was all the way on the other side of school, but this is ridiculous! How the hell did we get lost? We've been here in this school for months now!"

Naruto sighed and cleaned out his ear, "Calm down Kiba… I personally don't care, all I was going to do was sleep anyway so us being lost isn't a big deal to me." He looked around the hall that they were the only inhabitants of, "Where is everybody though? I don't hear a soul out here."

Sasuke was looking around in a bored fashion until he noticed something, "Stop." Sasuke pointed off to the side, "That's my fucking locker. We've been walking around in a fucking circle the entire time."

Naruto's jaw dropped while Kiba raged, "What the hell do you mean we've been walking around in a circle the whole time? That's absurd."

Sasuke looked around suspiciously, "Genjutsu…" Sasuke momentarily flared his Sharingan, "Kai."

Naruto and Kiba narrowed their eyes and immediately put their hands in a ram seal, "Kai!"

"How lucky for you guys. It seems they were able to break the genjutsu."

Naruto sighed at the sound of the somewhat familiar voice, "Son of a bitch. It's those assholes that broke into my house on Saturday."

Kiba looked at Naruto oddly, "Dude, you had guys break into your house on Saturday? What the hell do you get up to outside of school?"

Naruto grinned at the dog loving student, "I'm an interesting guy Kiba. How else do you think I got Kyuubi-chan? Chicks like the danger factor. You should try it, it works wonders on your game-spitting."

Sasuke shook his head in amusement, "So you guys are after Naruto? Sorry, but if I just stood back and let the dobe die then his red-haired girl would find me and tear me limb from limb. You guys should just head on back to where you came from, if Naruto by himself took you all out then you can't beat all three of us when the numbers are even."

The voice laughed, "So you think that the numbers are really even? We have an army. Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu (Mist Servant Technique)." With that a mass of assassins, dressed roughly the way that Naruto's original attackers were, came from every nook and cranny in the hallway, most seemingly straight from the walls.

Kiba's eyes widened as he lost count of the enemy, "Um, any advice you guys?"

Naruto and Sasuke smirked as the Uchiha cracked his knuckles, "Yeah. Just keep moving." Sasuke and Naruto then proceeded to jump headlong into the fray and began to fight the black-clad assailants. Naruto and Sasuke darted through the ranks but quickly realized something was wrong when after hitting a few of them they simply reformed and kept creeping towards them.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Oh fuck this shit, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" Naruto had his clones jump into battle against the inky clones. As they cut a swath of violence through them, the other boys just kicked back and watched. When they were hit however, they didn't disappear like Naruto's clones, as a matter of fact a few of them split into extra clones, and they just kept creeping forward. Naruto dispelled his clones as he was unnecessarily clogging the hallway.

Naruto and Sasuke jumped back to Kiba, "Okay, that didn't work. Those things aren't like my Kage Bunshin, they're not dispelling and they don't feel real. Every hit does next to nothing to them, it's almost like the Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Jutsu) except that jutsu dispels when you actually hit it."

Kiba took a sniff at the air and followed up on Naruto's last statement, "Guys, something doesn't smell right. I can't smell any other people in this hall except for us."

Naruto scoffed, "Deputy, use your super-duper pinwheel eyes and tell me what you see."

Sasuke glared at Naruto as he grumbled, "Super-duper pinwheel my foot up your ass…" Setting the animosity aside for now he did as he was asked, "Whoa. Naruto, Kiba. They're all fake, every last one of them. This is another genjutsu."

Naruto gnashed his teeth, "So where are our visitors? What were they going to do if they just wanted to confuse us? What kind of a strategy is that?"

Sasuke grunted in agreement, "I don't know, I don't care. Kiba, can you find them for us since you were able to tell the replications are fake?"

Kiba nodded, "I'll sniff for an unfamiliar scent. They can't be too far from their allusions. Let's go!" The three boys took off through the mass of inky black copies, rushing through the halls and avoiding them altogether.

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, "Keep your Sharingan on so we can tell what's fake and what's real."

Kiba lead the way, turning them down corridors and hallways, down stairs and finally down the main corridor near the front of the school where they all finally got a glimpse of them. Kiba blinked, as if he was hallucinating, "Naruto who did you piss of from the insane asylum?"

The two other boys snickered as they chased the three strange fighters out the front door and into the courtyard. Kiba stopped them there, "They're here somewhere, probably spread out so that I can't track them so easily."

Aptly colored copies of Oboro, Mubi, and Kagari appeared all over the courtyard. Naruto had to slap his hand to his face, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke shook his head pitifully, "More fake clones."

Naruto spit on the ground, "You guys suck! Is this the best you've got! Yeah, this might have worked if we didn't have a guy that can see through your bullcrap, a guy that can sniff out where you're hiding, and a guy that has enough stamina to chase you losers for the next 18 hours."

Kiba chuckled, "Yeah, maybe if we had the stamina of six year old little girls you might have had a chance to beat us with your weak-ass clones."

Naruto sucked his teeth and pulled his combat knife from underneath his pant leg making Kiba back up in slight apprehension, "You carry a knife? Why the hell do you need a knife?"

Naruto gave Kiba a dry look and pointed the blade at the mass of fake copies littering the field and stalking towards them with kunai drawn, "This kind of crap happens so much it's better to be safe than sorry. Now give us a location so we can end this."

Kiba sniffed the air and pointed in two different directions, prompting Sasuke and Naruto to take off in them while Kiba went off his own way to engage the last remaining member of the attack team.

Naruto didn't have to go very far as when he drew near the school fence corner Oboro slinked from the ground and attempted to stab him with a kunai. Naruto blocked with his combat knife and overpowered him against the fence. Naruto stabbed him in the hand holding the kunai forcing him to drop it and shoved a forearm into Oboro's throat, pressing him up against the fence roughly. Before Oboro could move to fight back, Naruto shoved his knife against his neck "Now you recognize that my clones are more awesome than yours. You guys are totally weak. I hope whoever paid for you to come after me either got a bargain deal for your contract or they're getting their money back."

Oboro couldn't respond due to Naruto's forearm right on his windpipe. Naruto stared right into Oboro's eyes, "You're going to tell me who you're working for, or I'm going to make the rest of your very short remaining time on this earth very, very unpleasant."

XxX

(With Sasuke)

When Sasuke confronted Mubi he just made more of the Oboro Bunshin no Jutsu (Haze Clone Jutsu) and tried to jump him with Doton: Dochuu Eigyo no Jutsu (Earth Release: Underground Projection Fish Jutsu) to come up from the ground and stab him. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke could see that they were all fakes, and with the Sharingan he could see Mubi's attack in slow motion and dodged accordingly.

When Mubi tried to descend back into the ground to continue with his futile strategy, Sasuke grabbed him by the collar with a smirk on his face and battered him unmercifully before dragging his unconscious body back towards the center of the courtyard, "Yeah… you're going to jail."

XxX

(With Kiba)

Kiba's little scrap with Kagari was absurdly easy. He could already tell exactly where his enemy was without even waiting for him to attack so he didn't even blink as he ran past Kagari's illusions and jumped into his Tsuuga (Piercing Fang) attack to drill into the ground… and Kagari.

Kiba stood up out of the hole he drilled and looked back inside to see the corpse of Kagari that looked like he had been hit with a massive drill… which was more or less exactly what happened, "Um oops…"

Kiba backed away from the scene and headed towards Sasuke who had handcuffed his opponent and was standing on the back of his head with one foot, "You carry handcuffs?"

Sasuke shrugged, "This kind of crap happens so much it's better to be safe than sorry. Naruto's over there with the other guy."

"AAAHHHH!"

Sasuke smirked faintly before blinking and looking around Kiba, "Where's your guy?"

Kiba looked guilty, "I kind of killed him. But it was a total accident I didn't mean it!" He finally sighed and looked down, "So are you going to take me to jail yourself now, or are you going to make a call."

Sasuke looked dead at Kiba for a moment before sighing, "Where's the body?" Kiba pointed in the direction of the hole he made in the ground and Sasuke stood to head over there, "Watch this guy for me."

Kiba sighed heavily and leaned against the school plaque while Mubi laughed at his feet, handcuffed and face down on the ground, "Your first kill huh? You pussy." Kiba bit his lip sharply as Mubi kept talking, "You probably want to cry right now don't you. Ha! You punk."

Mubi was cut off when a girl's sandal slammed into the back of his head, sending him face-first into the ground. Kiba looked up to notice Kyuubi grinding his face into the pavement with a perturbed look on her face while she glared down. She noticed Kiba staring at her and looked up at him, "He and his BDSM friends broke into Naruto-kun's house and tried to kill him when he was sick with chakra exhaustion."

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)"

Kiba watched with a slacked jaw as Sasuke spit his fireball into the hole and kicked dirt into the hole to cover up the ashes before walking back over, "Okay, you're good." He looked at Mubi who was now sporting a broken nose and was bleeding all over the ground, "*sigh* I'm the one that has to carry his ass to the station, you know that right?"

Kiba pointed at the hole and stammered, forcing Kyuubi and Sasuke to look at each other and then back to him with raised eyebrows as Kyuubi spoke up, "Kiba, do you have something to say?"

Kiba gulped, "You just turned his remains to ashes! I killed that guy and you just destroyed the evidence! Isn't that against the law?"

Sasuke and Kyuubi shrugged, "So? He was an illegal foreign assassin trying to kill you. I've killed people, Naruto's killed people. The only one of us standing out here that hasn't killed anyone is little miss red-head here." Kyuubi slapped Sasuke in the back of the head, "See? She's mad because Naruto won't let her pop her kill-cherry because she won't let him pop her cherry-cherry." Another slap to his head, "Hitting me doesn't make it any less true."

Kyuubi huffed and pouted, "Whatever! Where's Naruto-kun?"

Sasuke pointed in the direction Naruto went to go fight Oboro when they all split off, "He's over there somewhere and it sounds like he's getting a little interrogation off before school lets out in a few minutes."

"AAHHH!"

"See?"

Kyuubi walked off in the direction of the scream, "I'll go and stop him…"

Kiba turned back to Sasuke, "How do you guys do this stuff?"

Sasuke stood next to Mubi before crouching down and hoisting him over his shoulder, "Because if we don't do it then worse things will happen to people that can't fight back like us. If we had stayed in the school and fought them then who knows what could have happened? How many people do you think could have broken their genjutsu? How many people would have been caught in the crossfire of our fight? What do you think he would have done to you if he had the chance? They pulled blades on us. We don't like killing, but sometimes you have to do it. How do you feel?"

Kiba held his stomach, "Kind of sick. I feel dirty. His blood puddled around my shoes… I don't think I can look at these again."

Sasuke nodded, "Good. You'll get over the being sick to your stomach thing, but as long as you know that it was a bad thing to do you're fine. Get some new shoes, get some rest, do something that will get it off your mind and you'll be fine. I was like this when I first killed someone too."

Naruto walked back to the group, dragging Oboro by his collar and with Kyuubi following close behind, "Kyuubi-chan it wasn't going to leave the guy a scar or anything. He was a total pussy, a little bloodletting and he was singing like a bird. I don't even think I hurt him badly at all, he must be scared of blood or something."

Kyuubi frowned at him, "You had a grin on your face when you cut him across his arm."

Naruto shrugged and hoisted Oboro onto his shoulder like Sasuke had done to his prisoner, "Anko Mitarashi does it whenever she cuts me and it freaks me right the fuck out every time. I would have licked the cut like she does too, that would have made him shit his pants, but that would have been_ totally_ gay." He looked around, "Where's Kiba's guy?"

Kyuubi pointed off in the distance, "His ashes are smoldering in a hole over there."

Naruto looked at Kiba, "You killed him?" Kiba nodded and Naruto looked at Sasuke, "You give him the speech Itachi gave you when you acted like a bitch after you and I cleared out that park bathroom of thugs 3 years ago?"

Sasuke glared at him as they all started making their way to the gate exit, "Hey, I had blood all over me after we were done in there. It's not my fault that I didn't enjoy it like you did. My mother gave me enough hugs when I was growing up to not turn me into a sociopath."

Naruto gave him a dry look, "That's a low-blow deputy. And I am not a sociopath for enjoying that. They were taking women in there and raping them, it had to be done and we were the ones to do it. And you can thank me for all of the hugs Mikoto-kaasan gave you. She probably thought hanging out with me would fuck you up in the head."

Kyuubi blinked and looked between them, "You mean it didn't?"

Naruto gave Kyuubi a faux-teary eyed look, "Not you too Kyuubi-chan. Why is everyone picking on me?"

Kiba grabbed him to make him stop, "There's just something wrong with a fourteen year old boy that just tortured a guy with a knife making that face."

XxX

(City Hall)

Naruto, Sasuke, and Kyuubi dropped the two surviving assassins at one of the police stations, dropped Kiba off, and headed downtown for Sasuke's meeting with Tenzo. They had been waiting in the lobby for twenty minutes while Naruto went over what he found out from the attackers, "Okay, their names are Oboro, Mubi, and Kagari. Kagari's the one who's dead."

Sasuke snorted impatiently, "Their names are useless to us. They're just grunts, what matters is where they came from and why they wanted you."

Naruto shot him a glare that Kyuubi rubbing his shoulder cut short, "I found some of that out, you ass. They're from Amegakure, working for Kaisha Tekagi (Hook Company). And I'm not going to start a company war over this. Ero-sennin told me that Kaisha Tekagi is one company that I never want to mess with, ever."

Sasuke looked at the seriousness of his last statement, "Why not? They can't be that good right? We just smoked three of their guys without getting a scratch."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "There goes that assuming thing again deputy. Only this time instead of making an ass of you and me it'll make us dead. Salamander Hanzo runs Kaisha Tekagi. You know? Salamander Hanzo, the guy that took over the whole damn country of Ame no Kuni with just himself and the company. Ero-sennin told me that he and Tsunade-baachan were hired once by Orochimaru to head into Ame no Kuni with him to help him collect things for research. They ended up in the middle of a warzone and got attacked by some of his men. They killed them all and then Hanzo himself showed up and flattened them. He said they should have been killed that day, but he just let them live and walked away."

Sasuke still didn't get it, "So? That just means that if three people, one of which was not a mercenary, can beat them like that then an entire company attack force should have no real trouble."

Naruto sighed, "…You're so stupid I swear… Listen dumbass. Ero-sennin actually fought me a little after we first met. I didn't lay a finger on him and I was going as hard as I could-." 'Without transforming.' "-Hanzo beat him and the other two in their prime so what makes you think that a fight like that wouldn't utterly end this company? We would be going against an entire country, hell when we lose, he might just march into Hi no Kuni and take the place over just for kicks."

Kyuubi's eyes widened, "Salamander Hanzo would really do that for something like?"

Naruto nodded, "Look at what people know about Ame no Kuni."

Kyuubi frowned, "No one knows much at all about Ame no Kuni these days, even though it is on the border."

"That's right." Naruto sighed, "Hanzo's a totalitarian. He only lets information in and out through him, ever since the last major power struggle between the nations there hasn't been anything on the place at all. Even if we did try to attack we'd be going in totally blind, the borders to that place are locked down tight."

Kyuubi rubbed her arm apprehensively, "So there's nothing you can do to find out who's out to get you?"

Naruto noticed how nervous about it she was and placed an arm around her, "I didn't say that. Mubi, the other guy that we didn't kill, he was stupid enough to keep his briefing scroll on him so I sent that to Ero-sennin himself at HQ and told him what had been happening. I'll get something on that soon, I know it."

"Sasuke Uchiha?"

The kids all looked up and noticed the secretary calling them, "Director Tenzo will see you now." She got up to lead them to his office.

They all stood and followed her.

XxX

The three kids sat in front of the desk of the city's Director of Agriculture. The guy really seemed to like plants, as his office was full of them, like a forest or a jungle indoors, the lights were also for the health of the plants, but none of the kids said anything about it.

"So you kids wanted to see me? What can I do for you?" Tenzo was very young for having a government position, even one like this, at just 24 years of age. He had short brown hair and black eyes, but a mostly friendly demeanor. Instead of the suit and tie of most government officials he simply had a white button-up shirt and blue slacks.

Sasuke cleared his throat, "Well, I don't know how to beat around the bush on this, so I guess I'll just come out and say it and hope for the best. Can you tell me anything about a man named Orochimaru?"

Naruto and Kyuubi both palmed their foreheads, "I should have called Hinata and picked her up right after school. No tact, I swear to Kami he's as blunt as a three year old. I don't even think he knows he's being that stupid right now."

Tenzo's eyes hardened, "Why would kids like you be looking for a man like that. You do know who that is don't you? Or else you wouldn't even be here in the first place."

Naruto and Kyuubi pointed at Sasuke, who simply looked at them both and glowered, "Thanks for nothing…" He turned his attention back to Tenzo, "Yes I know who that is, I know what he's done to people's lives, I also know what he's done to you."

Tenzo linked his hands and set his elbows on the desk, keeping his mouth from sight, "Yes. So you know of the Mokuton cells that were implanted into my body during my infancy?"

Sasuke nodded while Naruto and Kyuubi looked lost. The female of the group spoke up, "Mokuton? What?"

Tenzo gave the girl a smile and made a few hand-signs, forcing the appearance of his arm to change into that of wood that extended towards the kids, making Naruto fall out of his chair in surprise, "What the hell was that?"

Tenzo chuckled and turned it back to normal, "I can produce wood from anywhere, even my own body. The first leader of this place had the same ability, but it didn't pass down to any of his other family."

Sasuke nodded, he knew that some abilities didn't get passed down and sometimes died with one person, "So how do you have it? Is it what Orochimaru did to you?"

Tenzo glared at his own fist, "I was abducted as a baby and experimented on. Orochimaru wanted the Shodaime Hokage's abilities and injected the man's DNA into sixty test subjects. I was the only one that survived."

Naruto and Kyuubi looked disgusted while Sasuke simply looked angry, he already knew about this, but something so perverse still made him mad, "So Orochimaru is just trying to play God? I need to kill this guy."

Tenzo stood up and walked around, "I've learned to deal with it. It's not really that bad, I can do so many things. I can help this city keep up its population of woodland and still maintain high lumber export income. The Sandaime Hokage has done so much for me since I was found. The man is amazing. He even helped me become a mercenary when I was six."

Everyone's eyes widened for different reasons.

Sasuke because even the person that runs the city had ties to the world of mercenaries, "The Hokage made you a mercenary?"

Kyuubi because she was always told by her parents and Naruto that protecting your identity outside of the mercenary world was important, "You just told us that you were a mercenary?"

Naruto because of when he began his career, "What the fuck do you mean you started when you were six? I had to wait until six months ago before those bastards would even give me a tryout!"

All three of them looked at each other and spoke at the same time, "That's what you're upset about? How stupid." All three of them got tick marks on their heads and began to argue while Tenzo sweat-dropped.

Kyuubi pulled Naruto's cheeks roughly, "I thought you told me that a mercenary's identity was a very sensitive thing Naruto-_kun_? I had to bite my tongue so many times when we were out in public because you had to make it seem like some kind of secret. I don't think I've met a single person with you that isn't a mercenary!"

Naruto mumbled out a response, "It varies from person to person. Most of us actually do care whether or not people know, but some don't really care." He shook the girl off of his cheeks, "How the hell did you get anyone to let you start when you were six?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "If he has Mokuton it probably wasn't too hard. But the Hokage? Him too? Is there anyone I'm going to meet that doesn't have a hand in this stuff?"

Tenzo smiled, "Come on kid… Do you really think that with all of the groups and movements in the place that he wouldn't know about or have some kind of standing relationship with most of them? He's actually very close to Kaisha Hein, he used to run the place."

Naruto and Sasuke's eyes lit up as the black-haired teen stood up, "That means he was Orochimaru's sensei. Do you think we could get a meeting with him? He's the closest thing I've got now to finding out about him."

Tenzo stood in thought as he started tending to his plants, "I'm not sure. He was kind of reluctant to talk about the whole Orochimaru thing even back when I was a kid, though that might have been because I was the one asking about him. Why are you even after Orochimaru anway?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to talk before Naruto cut him off, "Deputy here stumbled across Orochimaru's case when he was at the police station and instead of just taking the red pill and letting it lie like a smart person he decided to take the blue pill and see just how far this rabbit hole goes."

Tenzo made a 'hmm' noise, "Well this is all I can do for you kids today. I hope I helped you out."

Sasuke shook Tenzo's hand, "Well it sure didn't hurt to listen to you today. Sorry for taking time out of your day to drum all of this up."

Tenzo laughed good-naturedly, "It's not a problem. It was getting pretty boring around here anyway. You kids take care."

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ)

Upon walking through the base Naruto eventually ended up getting mobbed by Rin and Haku, who spotted him at the same time and rushed over to him. After five minutes of being poked and prodded and hearin' are you okay Naruto-kun' he finally pushed them away, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Those guys were as weak as kittens. Actually kittens would have at least drawn blood with their claws."

Haku pouted at him, "I told you to keep a good cover. You got exposed after only a few weeks and did two high ranked missions, one of which had you kill one of our rogue operatives. We do have rival companies you know, they'll try to take you out if they can."

Naruto walked down the hall with the two following him, "Yeah, whatever. I still think they were hired by an outside source. Why would Salamander Hanzo have beef with me?"

Rin walked up to his side, "Maybe because you got Tsunade to come back to Konoha. You do know about their history don't you?"

Naruto scoffed, "She's only staying until his business with ero-sennin is concluded. After that she'll just go on home."

Rin smiled knowingly, "Really? She's been here for a few weeks now. You would think that she would have wrapped up whatever she was here for and left by now. She's also been asking questions about a certain blonde boy."

Naruto was intrigued, "Me? What would she want to know about me? And why the hell didn't she ask me herself?"

Haku chided him, "Stop needlessly cursing Naruto-kun." Haku elbowed him when he grumbled that she wasn't his mother.

Rin ruffled Naruto's hair, "She's been asking things like when your birthday was, who your parents are, how old you are. Things like that."

Naruto frowned and pulled Rin's hand off of his head, "She could have asked me two of those questions herself, and how would any of you possibly know who my parents are? I don't even know myself and none of you even met me until I was at least five years old."

Rin shrugged, "She just did. You're rising up the ranks fairly quickly Naruto-kun."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I didn't really want to go this far so fast. The last mission made me think about moving out of the apartment, I made so much money on it. I'm thinking of getting a house, it would definitely make quite a few things easier, but I still have nothing to put into a house if I had one."

Haku smiled pleasantly, "You could be a pack rat like Zabuza-tousan. He takes anything that he likes when he's on missions and finds somewhere to put it in our house. It's full of so much useless junk I swear he could open his own salvage yard."

"Haku…"

Haku froze up and turned around, laughing nervously, "I guess Zabuza-tousan wants to see me for something haha… Bye Rin-san, Naruto-kun." Haku then shunshined out of sight.

Rin and Naruto went along their way back down the hall, "So what's going on with your little Uchiha friend, Obito's nephew. Is he still digging where he shouldn't?"

Naruto ran his hand through his hair, "You have no idea… First of all he just does not understand that the person he's trifling with is fully capable of killing us. And by us I mean me, because if it ends up going down it's going to hit me first, he just thinks that because I'm the only person that's ever beaten his ass except Itachi that he can fight anyone. Second of all he's moving too fast. He's not getting strong enough fast enough to be barreling ahead with his investigation, it's maddening."

Rin nodded, "Maybe he needs a reality check?"

Naruto stopped in the hall, "What did you say Rin-neechan? Can you repeat that for me?"

Rin raised an eyebrow, "Maybe he needs a reality check? You know? Something to show him that he isn't as good as he thinks he is. Something to humble him before he gets himself in over his head one of these days. We did it to you when you fought Haku remember?" She finished with a teasing grin.

Naruto had his thinking cap on, "Yeah, yeah, senbon, my ass, whatever. I'll go into the fetal position later, right now I'm prophecising."

Rin gave him a dry look, "You're not psychic Naruto-kun. You used that wrong, you should have said pondering."

Naruto shushed her as he continued to think, "I can hire you guys for missions of my own right?"

Rin saw where he was going and grinned at him, "Yes you can Naruto-kun, you even get a discount. You still have tons of money from your last two missions that you would probably never use right?"

Naruto nodded and rubbed his hands evilly, "This is going to be fun."

* * *

**Chapter complete, fresh from the… keyboard. I love the fact that I can do any damn thing with this story that I want to since it doesn't follow any kind of traditional canon, it's awesome. It's also a challenge to make it entertaining. Hope I'm doing a good job with it so far.**

**Kenchi out. Read, review, and donate your money to the 'Kenchi-needs-Top Ramen-to-survive-for-the-semester' fund. Do you have a phone? Just call 696-696-6969 and you can donate your hard earned money to a worthy cause. Act now and you can even get… a free Shamwow!**

**This message is approved by the 'Keep Kenchi Alive' foundation and the 'College is For Rich Kids' institution.**


	24. What Are Friends For?

Disclaimer: I still do not own Naruto. And that makes me a saaaaad panda…

**Chapter 24: What Are Friends For?**

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"Come on Kyuubi-chan let me in!" Naruto pleaded to the red-head locked in his room while scratching at the door like a puppy.

A sigh came from behind the door, "No Naruto-kun, the last time I tried changing in here you ended up walking in and out so many times I swear you saw every inch of me naked at least once."

Naruto smirked, "I told you that was an accident Kyuubi-chan." The smirk wiped from his face quickly though, "And this is my damn house by the way. What's with these locked doors? This is like prison! No Leroy! I'm bilingual, there's a difference!"

Kyuubi raised an eyebrow from behind the door, "You are?"

Naruto ignored her and stood up holding his head, "No more locked doors! Thank you."

Naruto's bedroom door opened to find Kyuubi looking at him dully, blowing her bangs out of her face for extra added effect, "You done? We need to go meet Hinata-chan already. We're late."

Naruto rolled his eyes as he turned around and grabbed his jacket, "Not my fault…" He said under his breath. He was forced to let out a yelp in surprise and pain when Kyuubi grabbed his cheek with a hand enforced with her claws.

Giving him a smile that promised more pain she spoke in a sweet tone, "What was that Naruto-kuuun?"

Naruto whimpered as a trickle of blood rolled down his cheek, "Nothing baby. We should get going before I make us too late!"

Kyuubi released him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, getting the blood from his cut at the same time, "Good boy! Now let's go already."

Naruto watched her saunter out his front door and sighed as he grabbed his house keys to follow, "Why can't my girlfriend be all meek and stuff? Why does she have to have the power to tear me limb from limb if need be?"

"Hurry up Naruto-kun!"

Naruto sighed, "On my way…"

XxX

(Hyuuga Mansion)

Waiting out front with Kyuubi, Naruto eventually etched a smile on his face when he saw a familiar little Hyuuga girl, "Well now, they've got you answering doors? Little sparkler! How are you?"

Hanabi got a tick mark on her head as he walked up to the main gate and glared at the blonde, who was with a red-haired lady she had never seen before, "Call me by my name. My name is Hanabi whisker-face."

Naruto grinned cheekily at the little girl, "I know you name sparkler-chan, but calling you Hanabi is boring, I thought we were closer than that. Where's your sister? We've got plans tonight."

Hanabi looked at Naruto in a perplexed fashion, "Hinata-neesan is out in the garden. Do you want me to get her for you?"

Naruto looked at Kyuubi and then back to Hanabi, "Let me in. I want to see the place again and Kyuubi-chan's never even been here before."

Hanabi shrugged, she may have liked to push Naruto's buttons, as he did hers, but she also trusted him with her life, he already earned that from her. Hitting the unlock code from her side of the gate she opened it up for the visitors.

Naruto motioned for Kyuubi to follow him inside and crossed his arms with a smile once inside the threshold of the elite family's manor, "Well?" He asked Hanabi while giving her an expectant look. He opened his arms and gestured for her to come forward, "Come on little Tsukime (moon eye)-chan, you know you want to."

Hanabi looked away with a blush on her face before running into Naruto's arms, who then wrapped her up in a hug. Naruto chuckled, "You miss me that much? I came over here all the time after I was done training with Kyuubi-chan."

Hanabi pouted, "You never did anything with me. All you ever did was do things with nee-sama. Sparring with her and sitting with her."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Well maybe if you actually tried coming into the room instead of shadowing us from a distance I would have played with you. I thought that after the first week I somehow pissed you off and you didn't like me that much. I really come over here for you two anyway not just Princess, both of you."

Hanabi blinked in confusion. Naruto smirked at her expression, "You both need to hang out with someone that isn't rich. I am that person." Naruto patted the girl on the head and walked into the house, Kyuubi following him closely.

Hanabi ran to catch up with them and show them where Hinata was, "What do you mean we need to hang out with someone that isn't rich?"

Naruto chuckled, "Well, all you guys spend time with is people that have obscene amounts of money. You've never met anyone that actually has to work for a living. By work I mean someone that actually works _for_ someone, like someone that provides a service, like people that work at the stores you buy your expensive crap from. A regular person, so that you don't think you're better than anyone else like Neji does."

This confused Hanabi more, "Neji?"

Naruto nodded, "Neji treats people like crap. The only reason he's at least cordial with me is because I saved you two once. That and me and Sasuke Uchiha both proved that for all of his Jyuuken talents he's still a sucker for a good right hand and duct tape." He saw Hanabi posting a blank with her expression, "I beat his ass before. That kid needed an attitude adjustment, I had to let him know that having a famous name does all of jack-shit when there are crazy people like me roaming the streets."

Kyuubi hit him in the shoulder, "Don't curse in front of the little girl Naruto-kun." Kyuubi looked down at Hanabi with a smile, "Sorry about that, he's not very good with kids."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "What are you talking about Kyuubi-chan. I'm one of Tsukime-chan's positive male role models… maybe her only positive male role model. I'm better than Neji that's for damn sure." Kyuubi bopped him again.

Hanaib led them to the garden atrium in the center of the mansion where Hinata sat by the pond silently with her back turned to the three. Naruto made a shushing motion with his finger to the two other girls as he tried to creep silently up on the dark-blue haired girl.

"Hello Naruto-kun." Naruto cursed to himself as Hinata noticed his presence. He could swear that she had a satisfied smirk on her face and was proven right as she turned around, smile in place in addition to having her Byakugan on.

Naruto visibly deflated, "I swear that thing is cheating Princess. How can I sneak up on you with that thing blazing?"

Hinata giggled, "That was the point of having it on Naruto-kun." She got to her feet and smiled at Kyuubi, "Kyuubi-chan. Have you been keeping him out of trouble?"

Kyuubi walked up to Hinata and gave her a hug, "I try, but trouble seems to find my blind spots around this guy. Are you ready to go?"

Hinata let go and nodded, "Hanabi-chan. I'll see you later tonight okay?" She looked over at Naruto who was on the phone with Sasuke.

Naruto was pacing through the garden, "Yes I know you don't want to see that fucking movie, do you think I do? …It's for the girls man, you just have to sit and bear it for two hours alright. I'm going to be right there too." Naruto began to make his way back over to the girls, "You do have the tickets right? …Why did I make you get them? Because I had to take the girls to the theater. I'm paying you back you asshole, calm down."

Naruto hung up his phone and Kyuubi laughed at what she could only assume Sasuke's attitude was like, "Is Sasuke going to behave until we get there?"

Naruto frowned, "If I didn't love you so much I would never have let you talk me into seeing this damn movie. I can't believe you girls like that crap."

They started making their way out of the mansion while Hinata questioned him, "What's wrong with vampire movies Naruto-kun?"

Naruto scoffed, "Vampire movies? Nothing. Dracula is classic, Blackula is epically awesome, the Blade movies are 100% manly and bad-ass. There is nothing cool about the Twilight movies to me, they are an exercise in teenage angst and emo attitude. Actually Sasuke should love this movie, all things considered…" Naruto shook his head of such thoughts, "I feel kind of bad though. I wish we could take little Tsukime-chan with us, I want to spend some more time with her, she's cute."

Kyuubi leaned on Naruto's shoulder, "Wanting to get some practice in raising kids for the future Naruto-kun?" She basically purred to him.

Naruto sputtered incoherently much to the amusement of the two girls. Hinata decided to follow up on teasing him, "If that's how you feel Naruto-kun I'm sure I can convince Otou-sama to sign off a babysitting mission for Hanabi-chan under the guise of a bodyguard job. I think she would like that."

Naruto gaped at the girls like a fish. Finally clamming up he simply led them onwards to their destination.

XxX

Sasuke was a grumbling mess as they came upon him outside of the theater, "Any particular reason that you're late dobe?"

Naruto shrugged, "Sorry. You didn't have much trouble waiting on us did you?"

Sasuke handed Naruto three tickets, "Actually I got propositioned about twelve times by other people going to see the movie. Twilight brings out the worst in people you know!"

Naruto gave him an incredulous look, "And you didn't take them up on it while you were waiting? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto by his collar, "That's because ten of the times it happened I was hit on by dudes! The other two might as well have been dudes from the way that they looked!"

Naruto smirked, "Oh, well now I'm even more surprised you didn't take them up on their offers." Before Sasuke could cock his hand back to punch Naruto in the face Naruto pointed behind himself at the girls that were rightly amused at the scene.

Sasuke sighed and glared at Naruto before letting him go. Sucking his anger up and bottling it inside so that he could get an awesome ulcer in about 10 years he gave the girls a friendly smile, "Hey there girls. You guys ready for the movie?"

Kyuubi and Hinata both nodded as the blue-haired heiress gave Sasuke a dazzling smile, "Hello Sasuke-kun. I hope you haven't been too terribly stressed waiting for us."

Sasuke blinked a few times and looked over at Naruto and Kyuubi who had their arms linked and were looking over inn amusement. Turning back to Hinata he grabbed some stoicism back, "It's fine, it's just that getting hit on a million times kind of irks me after a while."

Hinata took a ticket from Sasuke and walked inside, "You should all hurry up. We've probably missed ten minutes of the actual movie by now."

Sasuke turned to Naruto who simply smirked and motioned for him to enter, "Make that case of pink-eye of yours useful and find her in the theater. Go on now." Naruto shooed Sasuke inside with his hands. Sasuke simply scoffed and walked inside with his hands in his pockets.

Kyuubi nudged Naruto as they both followed, "Are you trying to hook them up Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked away sheepishly, "If I said yes would that be so bad? I'm tired of hearing him bitch about his fangirls, so why not attempt to get him with girl that isn't a fangirl. It's perfect, I trust the Deputy, I want to be able to watch over Hinata and Hanabi and make sure Neji doesn't fuck their heads over with his bullshit and I can't be there all the time. Sasuke will help make sure Hanabi doesn't get all stuck up like the rest of her family, she may become a little emo with him around, but I'll fix that."

Kyuubi shook her head, "He's going to kill you when he finds out what you're doing."

Naruto wagged his finger chidingly, "After what I'm going to do to him later I doubt he'll even remember that I'm the one that orchestrated this little escapade. Now let's go watch your shitty movie."

XxX

(Three Hours Later)

"I think I just lost man points by watching that movie." Naruto grumbled as he walked alongside his companions before Kyuubi latched onto his back.

Sasuke shook his head and smirked, "I don't think that going to that movie with women qualifies as a loss of man points. Are you sure you're not trying to over compensate for something?"

Naruto gave Sasuke a dry look and pointed at the girl hanging onto his back, "Alright. We're going in opposite directions. Deputy, you take Princess home, I've got Kyuubi-chan. It would be weird as hell if you showed up at her house taking her home."

Sasuke nodded and turned to Hinata, "Well shall we?" Hinata nodded happily and led him towards her home.

After the two groups split up, Naruto and Kyuubi quickly made their way to the rooftops. Naruto pulled out his phone and dialed a number, "Yo… Yep it's on tonight. Just come find me and you'll get your cue… Yes this is going to be awesome, just get over here, me and Kyuubi-chan want to laugh at something tonight." Naruto hung up his cell phone and turned to Kyuubi.

The red-haired girl shook her head but had a smile on her face, "You're bad Naruto-kun. I can't believe I'm letting you do this to Sasuke. This is akin to overkill you know that right?"

Naruto chuckled, "Maybe so, but it's so necessary. If he doesn't realize how dangerous the people are in what he's getting into he'll get himself killed. I'm only being a caring and compassionate friend by doing this for him. The fact that I'll be taping it for posterity and for my own personal entertainment is just a plus. Now come on, we need to pick him off at just the right time."

XxX

(With Sasuke)

"-I wish I could tell you more about this case I have going on, but Naruto and a partner of mine keep saying that the less I say the better it is for everyone." Sasuke stated somewhat apologetically to Hinata.

Hinata smiled at Sasuke, "It's okay Sasuke-kun. If Naruto-kun says it's not a very good idea then it must not be."

Sasuke frowned at her words, "You really take stock in his words don't you? Is this still about his mission and him saving you? He was there when you got caught too. Naruto is a good fighter, but I wouldn't say he was the smartest guy in the world, he's kind of crazy if you haven't noticed."

Hinata giggled, "Yes I'm aware that Naruto-kun isn't playing with a full-deck so to speak, but he's still a good person. I trust his judgment for that reason. He's not really a fool as you can attest to Sasuke-kun or else I doubt you would be around him as much as you are."

Sasuke sighed, "Yeah I guess so."

Eventually they came along to her mansion and ended up standing out front of the gate, "Well Sasuke-kun thank you for walking me home. I hope you weren't feeling too uncomfortable during the movie."

Sasuke smirked, "No, a shirtless werewolf that didn't put anything on for two hours didn't make me uncomfortable in the least, what are you talking about?"

Hinata laughed and entered the gate of her mansion, closing it behind her, "Well goodnight Sasuke-kun. I'll see you soon."

Hinata waved to him and made her way towards her house while Sasuke turned to head to his own home. A short ways away he pulled out his phone set on texting Naruto for some reason before a giant sword smashed into the ground in front of Sasuke, forcing him to dodge and look around for his assailant, Sharingan active. A mist started to settle in around him, nullifying his kekkai genkai, "Well isn't this just fucking great?" Sasuke whispered to himself.

"So you're my target are you? You don't look like much Uchiha. I think I may have overcharged for this one. Oh well, money is money, and I get paid when you die." A gruff voice sounded out from seemingly nowhere through the mist.

Sasuke kept his eyes peeled around him for any sign of an enemy until a crushing pressure brought him to his knees. Sasuke found himself struggling to just take a breath. Sasuke had never been hit with real killing intent before. Everyone prior that had fought him didn't have the skill to intimidate him, and now he gets attacked on the street at night by a man that can bring him to his knees without even fighting?

'I need to call someone, anyone to help me.' Sasuke grabbed his phone from his pocket and frantically tried to scroll through his contact list to find someone that could help him. However he ended up taking a kunai to the hand, forcing him to drop his phone and break it on the ground. Sasuke cursed silently as he was beginning to shake from the killing intent.

A dark chuckle came from around him, "You're not getting out of this so easily boy. This isn't some little street punk or a lowlife mercenary not worth half their salary. And what exactly do you think falling to your knees will do? You're like a whimpering dog right now, waiting to be put down. If that's how you're going to die then I guess I'll help you with that."

The voice vanished into the mist that was blocking Sasuke's distress from any prying eyes around him that might have been able to assist. Sasuke felt a tensing from behind him and narrowly dodged a swing of the same sword that had almost filleted him at the start of the conflict. When he turned his head to look at his attacker he saw nothing, not even the sword that had been stuck in the ground was in sight.

XxX

Naruto and Kyuubi were watching from a distance. Kyuubi sighed and looked at her boyfriend who had a serious look on his face, "Sasuke is really taking focused killing intent badly isn't he? Haven't you tried blasting him with some before?"

Naruto nodded and used his enhanced eyes to keep an eye on the fight, "Yeah I have, but Sasuke never considered me a threat before. Never in all of the years we've known each other. By the time I learned about killing intent it wouldn't work on him. Itachi uses it on him all the time, but he never identifies it as what it is. Basically he never learned how to deal with it and that's not a good thing here because the only thing worse than knowing someone is going to kill you is not knowing where it's coming from."

Kyuubi frowned as with her own enhanced vision she could see the panic on the young Uchiha's face, "Don't you think this is too much?"

Naruto scoffed, "Kyuubi-chan I did this myself years ago. It's basically how me and Zabuza met, I started hanging out with Haku and he didn't like me. Remember I told Zabuza to shake him up and let him know his place. He won't kill him… unless he forgets."

XxX

Sasuke punched the pavement repeatedly in order to try and settle his nerves with pain, 'Damn it! I see why Naruto always has some kind of weapon on him now! Come on, get it together before he stops playing around!' By the time he finished his thought he was leaving bloody fist marks on the ground.

Sasuke was breathing heavily in order to try and get a grip, he had even unconsciously turned his Sharingan off out of fear and a suppressed submissive tick in his head. Sasuke growled to himself, 'There's no way this guy can beat me in a straight fight. He has to do all of this because one-on-one he's a pushover, all I have to do is find him.

Sasuke jumped into the air and spun around rapidly in mid-air, "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Immortal Fire Jutsu)!" Sasuke started shooting off miniature fireballs every which way trying to make contact with his attacker's body somehow. However other than short embers bursting in the mist he didn't hit anything.

"Well it looks like you have a little fight in you. It seems like I won't be able to just have you off yourself from the tension, I'll actually have to work."

Sasuke scoffed to hide his mounting frustration and fear, "Whatever. Come on out and find out exactly how easy I'll make it for you. Unless hiding in the mist and throwing your voice is the best such a big, bad killer like you can do? Ha, what a joke!"

There was grumbling before the voice spoke again, "I'm an assassination specialist punk. It's my job to not get caught killing like some kind of thug, but I guess if you're really that comfortable with facing down the one that will kill you here, I can grace you with my presence."

Heavy footsteps came from in front of Sasuke as the mist dissipated enough for Sasuke to be able to make out a figure coming towards him with the sword from before in his hands, eventually stopping in front of him with a bored look on his visible face. He had bandages covering his mouth and nose, short spiky black hair, dark camouflage pants, camouflage arm warmers that stopped at his elbows, and no shirt. The man was incredibly muscular and far taller than Sasuke.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Who are you? Why are you here?"

The man raised an eyebrow, "What was I supposed to say again? Oh yeah. I am Zabuza Momochi, and Orochimaru has sent me here to get rid of you." He said in an incredibly bored tone.

XxX

"Motherfucking Zabuza. I can see why he does this shit now… his dialogue totally sucks." Naruto palmed his face and shook his head pitifully, "There goes the work. There's no way he's buying that now."

Kyuubi stifled some giggles, "You get what you pay for Naruto-kun."

Naruto got a tick mark on his head, "I paid 100,000 ryo! For that kind of money I expect a goddamn musical show tune number to be done flawlessly. Now how am I going to move out of my old place?"

XxX

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Well it's about time he sent one after me. He's feeling the heat now I assume."

Zabuza blinked and then shrugged, "Sure kid whatever, now get over here so I can kick your ass and finish my job already."

XxX

Kyuubi and Naruto both sweatdropped. Kyuubi pointed out at the scene in front of them, "He didn't actually buy that did he? Oh Kami Naruto-kun, I thought he was supposed to be smart or something."

Naruto shook his head again, "He really thinks Orochimaru knows of him as a real threat. I don't know whether to laugh my ass off at the insinuation or jump down there and tag-team whoop his ass with Zabuza for thinking that stupid shit."

Kyuubi wiped her bangs from her field of view, "You picked him as a friend Naruto-kun, is it his fault he suffers from delusions of grandeur?"

Naruto smirked, "Yes actually, because I would have thought that Itachi would have beaten that out of him by now. I guess going to public school and being seen as a noble among civilians actually did end up going to his head." Naruto then rubbed his hands together eagerly, "That being said, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this."

XxX

Back in the clouded street, Zabuza stared Sasuke down after hefting his sword over his shoulder, "So are you going to attack or what?" Sasuke simply stared at him while standing in his stance. Zabuza just sighed, "Fine, I forgot, you Uchiha like to let others come to you and then counter. Fine, I guess I'll have to-. Car!"

Sasuke and Zabuza moved out of the way as a car with its fog lights on passed between them. Both retook their positions as if nothing happened when it passed, "As I was saying; I guess I'll have to indulge your little strategy won't I?"

Zabuza rushed at Sasuke who dodged the strikes of his sword and gained distance again, "Damn Sharingan… I swear I see that too much."

Sasuke kept an angry look at Zabuza, "Where's the real you? This is just a stupid clone. I know someone that uses these damn things all the time, you can't fool me with this especially when he can make a shitload more than you can!"

Zabuza laughed, "Well if you can beat my clone then maybe I'll let you fight me, of course you still have to beat the clone first."

Sasuke smirked and darted in to attack. Zabuza swung his sword around rapidly over head. Sasuke blasted chakra into his legs for a momentary burst of speed to get into Zabuza's guard to deliver a punch to the body. Zabuza slammed his sword down swiftly, cracking the pavement. Sasuke ended up punching the flat of Zabuza's sword, recoiling in pain at the sudden injury. Zabuza steadied himself with the handle of his sword and used it to propel himself into a kick that sent Sasuke flying into the side of a parked car.

The Uchiha picked himself up off of the ground and wiped some blood from his elbow where it smashed into the side window. Noticing the massive sword of Zabuza he cursed to himself, "Yeah… I really need to start carrying some kind of weapon."

Zabuza sighed, leaning on the handle of his sword, "I'm dying of old age over here Uchiha-punk!"

Sasuke ignored him as he strained his superior eyes in order to find any kind of opening to exploit. Despite the relaxed posture of the swordsman he was ready for whatever. And the worst thing was that it was just a clone. It wasn't even the real one as he couldn't find the real one.

Focusing on his surroundings, Sasuke found that they were actually surrounded by parked cars. Apparently people in the Res didn't like using driveways or something, he didn't know, and rightfully he didn't care. Sasuke smirked as he had come up with an idea.

Sasuke ran at Zabuza who had jerked his sword up again to attack. Sasuke diverted to the side at the last moment and picked up a rock from the ground. Zabuza was hot on his tail, but using the misdirection of the parked cars, Sasuke was able to evade him, 'Come on. Cheap car, cheap car, cheap car. Give me something cheap or old!'

Sasuke eventually found an oldsmobile and moved behind its trunk. He frowned as it was in pretty good condition. Oh well, he could restore the car when he was done with it. Sasuke busted the back lock with the rock and opened the trunk. With the Sharingan he quickly scanned for anything he could use as a weapon. Before he could reach for anything he had to dodge a strike from Zabuza. Sasuke hopped in the trunk and shut it on top of himself.

Zabuza looked amused, "What the hell? Are you hiding kid?" Zabuza tapped the trunk with his sword, "Come on out Uchiha-brat and I promise it won't hurt too badly."

Sasuke fumbled his way through the dark trunk and reached the back, where the backseat opened up into the cabin of the car. Sasuke forced it open and fell inside. Zabuza moved to the side of the car intent on cleaving it in two, along with Sasuke. Sasuke gasped as he saw Zabuza raise his sword overhead.

In an effort to save his teenage life, Sasuke unlocked the door and swung it open, nailing Zabuza in the side with a metal door and knocking him down. Before he could reach his feet Sasuke bashed him in the head with a tire iron, turning Zabuza to water.

Sasuke leaned against the car and wiped his brow when the sound of clapping rang out. Groaning in annoyance he picked himself off of the car and faced down the real Zabuza. Zabuza had a visible smirk on his face beneath his bandages, "Well done boy. You beat my Mizu Bunshin, which was only 1/10th as strong as me."

Sasuke chuckled humorlessly, "Well I've still got strength to spare for you if that's what you're worried about."

Zabuza laughed and put his sword up on his back, "Well let's have some fun then punk!"

XxX

Naruto was holding in his laughter as he watched how Sasuke beat Zabuza's Mizu Bunshin, "Where the fuck did he come up with that? I'm impressed/entertained!"

"What are you doing Naruto-kun?"

Naruto and Kyuubi turned to find Itachi standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. Kyuubi nudged Naruto to explain, "Well Itachi here's the thing. Sasuke needs to get his ass kicked by someone not named Naruto or Itachi in order to get it into his head that he needs to stop moving so fast with his case. Because if he does by some stroke of luck find Orochimaru, he's going to get his ass destroyed."

Itachi moved closer and lowered himself to watch alongside the two half-demons, "So you're trying to humble my little brother since neither you or I can do it ourselves?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, pretty much. Zabuza won't kill him, he'll just beat the shit out of him and leave him there. You don't mind carrying him home do you? If I did it I would get caught by your mom or dad and that's some shit I don't need to deal with."

Itachi nodded and kept his eyes on Sasuke and Zabuza.

In a swirl of water a dark-haired girl appeared on the roof alongside everyone else. Naruto raised an eyebrow at the new arrival, "Haku-neechan? What are you doing here?"

Haku moved towards the edge of the building like everyone else, "I was told that Zabuza-tousan was commissioned for a mission that was requested by you Naruto-kun. I'm here because I wanted to know what stupid thing you have him up to."

Naruto rolled his eyes while Kyuubi spoke up, "He just has him beating up Sasuke Uchiha as a lesson to him. Hey, come and watch with us Haku-chan, it's actually been pretty entertaining so far."

Haku sighed and turned her eyes towards Itachi, "Oh hello there Uchiha-san. Sasuke's brother I assume?"

Itachi nodded and kept silent. Frowning at his lack of response, Haku was tapped on the shoulder by Naruto, "Yeah, Itachi's like that. He's not really mean, he's just… socially inept. Right Itachi?"

Itachi spared Naruto a Sharingan enhanced glance and then turned his view back to the fight. Naruto grinned at the ice-wielding girl, "You see? No 'shut up Naruto' or anything like that, just a simple glance with his family pink-eye." Naruto then attempted to turn his head back to the battle quickly before Itachi's eyes could meet his own. Feeling Itachi burning a hole in the side of his head with his stare he spoke up, "Itachi I'm not making eye contact with you when you have those damned kekkei genkai blazing, so silently gripe at me later okay? The last time I did you ended up hypnotizing me to do something stupid… still, I think your mom liked it when I kissed her."

Naruto's eyes widened as he started feeling killing intent from Kyuubi. He turned to Itachi who was smirking and looking away, " Goddamn genjutsu… You still fucking got me didn't you? You suck Itachi, making me say that shit out loud…" Naruto turned to Kyuubi who had bared her claws, "Baby noo-!" Naruto's mouth had been covered in water before it was frozen by Haku.

Haku shushed him, "Shut up Naruto-kun, I'm watching the fight." Naruto was silently taking his beating in the background.

XxX

Sasuke rushed in to begin trading strikes with Zabuza who had put his sword up, "You probably can't hack it without that sword of yours huh?"

Zabuza was blocking and dodging Sasuke's assault with little trouble, "Who do you think you're talking to kid?" Zabuza grabbed Sasuke by the back of the head and dragged him into a knee strike to the body that doubled the boy over.

Zabuza backed up with a smirk on his face, "You were saying?"

Sasuke picked himself back up and wiped his mouth, "You're lucky I don't have any weapons on me." With a yell Sasuke came right back in without hesitation and attempted to spring off of the side of a car to deliver a superman punch. The momentary misdirection caught Zabuza off guard but he was able to adjust and dodge the punch without taking damage. Zabuza shoved Sasuke back into the vehicle and tried to drill him into it with a kick that missed and deeply dented it.

Sasuke kicked Zabuza in the back of the knee that was planted on the ground when he missed his kick and brought the big man down. Trying to take advantage and end the fight, Sasuke tried a rolling ax-kick to finish Zabuza off, but Zabuza caught his leg from the ground and stood up with Sasuke in his grasp. Zabuza laughed as he slammed Sasuke into car after car as he walked down the street.

Sasuke smacked the hood of cars, the side mirrors, the hubcaps, he even cracked a few windshields with his body from Zabuza's offensive slams. Zabuza eventually dropped Sasuke back onto the ground, "Do you get the point yet punk? You're out of your league here. Orochimaru could squash _me_ like an insect if I tried to fight him and you think you're going to arrest him? What do you think he'll do to you if you actually find him? Orochimaru will laugh right in your face, and then he'll kill you in the most humiliating, gruesome way imaginable, and that's if you're lucky."

Sasuke wiped blood from a cut on his head from the glass and looked up at Zabuza angrily. Acting quickly, Sasuke rolled over and pried the manhole cover off of the street with his bare hands, destroying his fingernails in the process, in order to throw it at Zabuza like a Frisbee. Zabuza's eyes widened and he had to pull Kubikiri Hocho out once more in order to block the attack. Sasuke took his chance to make hand-signs, "Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Jutsu)!"

Sasuke shot off a massive fireball at Zabuza who had his jaw drop at the desperation attack. Zabuza threw his sword at a fire hydrant and began flying through hand-signs, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!"

Zabuza's sword destroyed the fire hydrant and as Zabuza finished his obscene amount of hand-signs the torrent of water coming from the hydrant took the form of a dragon and collided with Sasuke's fireball, pushing on through and drenching the entire street in steam and flood-like conditions.

Zabuza sighed, "Why do the strong water jutsu have so many damn hand-signs?" Zabuza's rant was cut off as headlights appeared through the steam, "Car!"

The car sped into Zabuza who burst into smoke and in his place left a splintered log. The car skidded to a stop and the driver, Sasuke, jumped out looking for the man he had just missed, "What the fuck?" Sasuke turned around just in time to get cracked full-force with the flat of Zabuza's sword with a sick aluminum sounding thunk.

Zabuza held his sword hover his shoulder exaggerating his swing as he sent Sasuke flying high into the air, and crashing onto the back of his head into the distance. Zabuza dropped his sword with a relieved sigh and shouted up to the sky, "Thank you log! You saved my ass again! I need to send that Naruto brat a fucking gift basket for teaching me that move."

"Praise the log Zabuza!"

XxX

Kyuubi smacked Naruto across the back of the head after his little outburst, "Aren't we supposed to stay hidden?"

Naruto shrugged, the ice having long since thawed from his mouth and his injuries just now healing up, "Yeah, from Sasuke. He's unconscious now so it doesn't matter."

Everyone on the roof dropped to the ground as Zabuza let the mist fade. Haku looked around and frowned, "Zabuza-tousan who's going to pay for all this?"

Naruto whistled as he looked around, "Wow, damn Zabuza, collateral damage much?" Naruto walked over and poked at the fallen Sasuke with his foot, "I would tell him that he just got knocked the fuck out, but I'm sure he's aware of that fact." Naruto kneeled down and poked at a cut on Sasuke's head, "Kami Zabuza I said leave him alive."

Zabuza got a tick mark on his head, "The brat wouldn't stay down! He hotwired a car and tried to hit me with it, where the fuck did he come up with that?"

Kyuubi looked at the haphazardly strewn car in the middle of the street, "Why didn't he just drive away with the car?"

Itachi walked over and looked at the state of his younger brother, "He was probably either too prideful thinking that he still could have won, or he didn't think about it after Zabuza-san used Kawarimi."

Zabuza and Naruto made a short prayer that made Kyuubi and Haku sweatdrop. Itachi looked up at the others, "Do I need to take him to the hospital, or is there anyone here that can help him somewhat?"

Zabuza and Naruto turned to Haku who backed away with her hands up, "I can do things with herbs, things that take somewhat longer to take effect but healing someone on the spot isn't my forte."

Itachi turned to Naruto, "So Naruto-kun, what was your plan for my brother after your little lesson?"

Naruto started backing away, "Um, pick him up and drop him at your front door, then ring the doorbell and run like hell?" Itachi had a gleam in his eyes, "That isn't a very good plan is it?"

Itachi shook his head. Naruto rubbed his chin, "Alright then, here's my plan. I'm going to-. Oh my sweet Kami what's that!" Naruto pointed down the street getting everyone to look that way. Upon seeing nothing they all turned around to find Naruto and Kyuubi vacant from their last known positions.

XxX

(The Next Day – South Konoha High School)

Naruto had the widest grin on his face that he just couldn't hide, "Damn Sasuke, you look beat the hell up. Did Princess's dad fuck you up for taking his little girl out or did Neji?"

Sasuke grumbled, "Neither. I was attacked last night. The only reason I'm not dead is because Itachi-niisan got me out of there before I could be killed."

Shikamaru had a smirk on his face until Sasuke looked at him. When his gaze was averted Shikamaru placed it back on his face. Naruto had called everyone that had anything to do with the Orochimaru thing and told them what he had done. Therefore, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba now knew that Naruto had hired someone to beat Sasuke's ass ragged, and from the bruises, scratches, and stitches he had done a fantastic job.

Kiba snickered and stopped in order to speak, "Well maybe it's a warning to stop man? You should at least slow down. That just proved that even if you could find Orochimaru you couldn't do a damn thing once you did."

"Yeah Deputy, Just train. Train and put this stuff on the backburner. There's no rush really. If you really have gotten far in your investigation then you can afford to slow up and actually prepare for things to get more difficult. What's the use of cracking the case if the perp kills you before you can bring him in." Naruto patted Sasuke on the back roughly on purpose, eliciting a yelp of pain from the boy.

"Oh Sasuke-kun!" Were the cries from two girls. Ino and Sakura glomped Sasuke hard as he held back the urge to cry from his injuries.

All of the boys in the know were holding back their laughter as they watched Sasuke's face move between expressions of annoyance, anger, and utter agony. Ino wrapped her arms tightly around Sasuke's neck, "I heard that you had some trouble last night and aren't feeling well today. Don't worry, I'll get you back to normal."

Sakura had her arms around his torso, "Oh don't listen to the pig Sasuke-kun. I know what will make you feel better!" Sakura was confused from his lack of response, "Sasuke-kun?" When she looked up at his face she found it contorting in pain, "Sasuke-kun! Ino-pig let go of Sasuke-kun! You and your fat mass are hurting him!"

Ino glared at Sakura and held Sasuke tighter, actually forcing him to whimper somewhat, "As if! It's you and your two-ton forehead that are crushing Sasuke-kun! Let him go!"

Naruto simply laughed alongside the rest of the boys, "Oh man… I love my friends so much…"

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**Chapter done. Dude I got kicked the head last night when I was sparring. It didn't hurt it was just… I sure didn't see that shit coming. I had to stop to register the fact that I just got kicked in the head, I haven't been kicked in the head clean in almost 2 years. I won the fight though, it's just. That shit left a mark, I got a cut and a black eye now. I _look_ like I lost and that ain't cool.**

**But enough about me, let's talk about me. Review and let the kid know what you think. I'm gone.**

**Kenchi out.**


	25. Easy Does It

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Take it up with Kishimoto being all stingy with the proceeds. He doesn't need all of that money, he could slide a couple thousand my way and no one would be the wiser. *hint hint* Come on, you know you want to… I'll be your best friend Kishimoto.

**Chapter 25: Easy Does It**

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Naruto looked at his partners for his next mission. He drew Rock Lee as his first teammate. He had never worked with Lee before, but assumed that it would be a very spirited experience to say the least. He still wished that he would put up the jumpsuit and wear normal clothes at work though.

His other partner was Haku, he finally got to work with her and perhaps see her pelt another person with those damned senbon of hers. She was probably going to lead the mission. She did have the most experience out of them all so he was just okay with that, and Lee probably would have been okay with a chimp being the team leader because at least the chimp would have taken a 'youthful' path to their target assignment.

Naruto opened his scroll to read his mission assignment.

**Mission: Escort.**

**Rate of Pay: 25,000 ryo upon completion.**

**Assigned Operative(s): Naruto Uzumaki, Rock Lee, Haku Momochi.**

**Mission Specifics: To assist with the transport of valuables for Yamanaka Industries. A chance of the shipment being attacked en route to the destination in Takigakure no Sato. Payment is set regardless of conflict or not.**

**Contact Point: Yamanaka Industries Shipping Facility (Konohagakure Branch). 4/31 13:00 hrs.**

Naruto nodded to himself after committing the important parts to memory and proceeded to use Kitsune-bi to torch the scroll as per the course. He had been called from home to take part in this mission on his off day from his training. It was like Jiraiya knew exactly when he was free and when to assign him troublesome missions.

It wasn't that he was lazy… okay, he was damnably lazy when there were things that he didn't have to do, such as work. After his last real mission in Tanzaku Gai searching for Tsunade and the exorbitant amount of money that he and Sasuke had made (more him really than Sasuke), not to mention the initial pay scale that he and Tenten got for completing the entire mission, not skimping on any of the parameters, and he was a very well-to-do teen at the moment, not requiring any real work in order to pay rent, make groceries or anything of the sort.

The only reason he even still went to the HQ was to either use the training facilities when he couldn't go over to Kyuubi's house to train outside like he would rather do or hang out with the other mercenaries. If hated his job and the people he worked with he would pretty much never show up, thankfully that was not the case, there were simply too many factors that made his job awesome. This must be what the teachers at school meant by finding a career that you're excited for when you wake up in the morning.

Naruto quickly found himself in a headlock by deceptively strong arms, "Hello there brat!"

Naruto was being slowly choked in the grip of the powerful attacker, "*choke* Hello Tsunade-baachan! *hack hack*"

Tsunade smiled at him in a deceptively sweet manner while slowly increasing the pressure, "Why brat… I just have to ask, have you been avoiding me? You haven't been showing up to headquarters very often. I haven't spoken to you in so long, I'm starting to think that you don't like me."

Naruto tried to wriggle free, however Tsunade had the deceptive freakish strength that he kept forgetting about. All he could really do was shift himself to an angle at which he could speak, "I'm not avoiding you. I've been busy."

Tsunade's eye twitched, "With what? I know for a fact that you haven't been taking missions, I've been in the pervert's office helping him out since I came back."

"I'm loaded! Why would I need to work? I've been training and actually _going_ to school!" Naruto maneuvered to look up at her, "You've been helping? Come to think of it, it's been forever since I got you from Tanzaku Gai. Why haven't you gone home yet?"

Tsunade smirked and let him go, "Well I figured that if Kaisha Hein was full of kids like you I had to come and help out."

Naruto grinned at her, "Oh you mean Kaisha Hein is full of talented, bad-ass kids with loads of potential like me? And you couldn't let the chance to help such young talent blossom and grow into mercenaries of the future?" He asked hopefully.

Tsunade shook her head, "No, more like this place was full of punks with more muscle than brain, and not enough of even that to get themselves out of rough situations, therefore the services of myself and Shizune are needed to piece you kids back together again after you get your asses kicked."

Naruto glared at her, "I'm not stupid…"

Tsunade gave him a dry look, "You went to an underground fight club in the middle of a mission brat. You're not exactly the brightest bulb in the pack no matter how you want to defend yourself." She waved off his dirty look, "Anyway, I'm living here now. I had a house here that I never sold, I even had a few of you grunt kids clean it up for me. You are looking at Kaisha Hein's resident head medic, so now you don't have to keep making up lies to the people at the hospital… or wait for Shizune or Rin to be on duty. You idiots overwork those girls… always coming in when you know they're working so your lazy asses don't need to make up lies about your injuries."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Rin-neechan and Shizune-neechan love me. And I don't go to the hospital anyway unless someone takes me there while I'm unconscious so I'm not the one keeping them buried in work."

Tsunade walked with him throughout the base, getting his immediate attention as she didn't seem to be busy at all. She also seemed to have something of a serene smile on her face as she looked at him, "Tsunade-baa…" He flinched as he saw her tense her fist to swing on him until she realized he was ready to dodge it, thus he continued, "Is there any particular reason you're following me? I thought you would be busy, or at least speaking to the older members. What's so special about me?"

Tsunade gave him an amused grin, "You don't think you're special brat? What happened to the 'Greatest Man That Ever Lived' stuff that you've been spouting ever since I met you?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Well, most other people don't really believe that stuff… You know what they say; if you don't believe in yourself, who else will?"

Tsunade ruffled his hair, "True enough. And I'm following you because for some reason you've become my favorite little brat and I want to get to know you a bit better. Right now all I know about you is that you date that little red-haired girl and are friends with the little cop Uchiha."

Naruto gave her an odd look, "You want to get to know me? That's cool I guess. You're alright yourself Tsunade-baa. Don't hit me!" Naruto finished while covering his face with his arms. He eventually opened his eyes to see Tsunade simply smiling at him, "You aren't going to hit me for calling you that? You always try to hit me for calling you that."

Tsunade smirked and turned to leave, "Like I said. You're growing on me brat. I'll see you soon."

Naruto watched the older blonde walk away before shrugging to himself and continuing on his way out of the HQ. He had school today.

Tsunade watched Naruto walk out of the base from behind a corner with a smile, "I thought he was dead."

"That was sensei's doing you know." Tsunade didn't even flinch as she felt her teammate appear at her side, "I was angry at first that he wouldn't let me take the kid in, but all things considered he didn't turn out half-bad. He's a little rough around the edges, but that's not really a bad thing. I'd say the kid acts more like his mother than anything."

Tsunade nodded with a sad look on her face, "I thought I'd killed them both when I delivered him. The night she gave birth I thought he had died just like Kushina did. That was the real reason I left, I couldn't take it anymore."

Jiraiya frowned, "I know. I wanted to find you and tell you that he was still alive, but I hadn't seen him myself until a month or so ago. I was able to send out marching orders to Kakashi, Rin, and Obito to watch him while I was away though, that was the one good thing I could do for him." He ran his fingers through his spiky white hair, "Some godfather huh? I'm just now meeting my own godson."

Tsunade patted the tall man on the shoulder, "So? I'm actually related to the kid and I just met him not too long ago myself. His mother was essentially my niece. Well I'm helping that boy out. I have a feeling that if he's anything like his dad he'll find trouble without even looking for it. Hell, he already does."

Jiraiya chuckled, "Well hime, how about the godfather and the de facto grandmother share a few drinks to get a little closer… you know. For the sake of the boy, he needs some parental guidance so why not go all the way with the act?" He finished lecherously, placing an arm around her.

CRASH!

Zabuza was awoken from his sleep in his office to see a Jiraiya shaped hole through two of his walls, leaving a trail of them thorough multiple walls, not just his own. Zabuza sighed and opened his door to yell down the hall, "Get some rookies and some drywall so they can patch this up!"

XxX

(South Konoha High School)

Kyuubi looked over Naruto's shoulder as the class was getting calculus tests passed back, "Naruto-kun what did you get?"

Naruto showed her with a faint smile on his face, "71. Who says I need to study huh?"

Kyuubi smacked him on the back of the head, "Stop being stupid… That's not good, that you don't study. You're going to blow your final exam at this rate."

Naruto shrugged, "So? It's not like I'm really going to do anything after I graduate anyway. Who cares how long it takes or what my GPA is? My ass isn't going to college or anything of the sort so my grades are irrelevant."

Kyuubi ran her fingertips along Naruto's neck and back, "Oh Naruto-kun. If you can pull your grades up by the end of the year I'll find some way to reward you, I promise you'll like it."

Naruto blushed as his eyes widened and then narrowed, "Don't make promises like that Kyuubi-chan… Right now there's only one thing that I really want from you that you can give me, and I only want it when you're truly ready and willing to give it to me. Not because of some bribe to pull my grades up."

"Mou… Naruto-kun I just want you to do better. I know that you can." Kyuubi pointed over to Shikamaru who was asleep with his paper on his head, "That lazy bastard got an 84. If he can get his sloth butt up to study then why can't you? You're just being belligerent Naruto-kun."

Naruto gave her a dry look, "If Shikamaru actually ever studied for even thirty minutes once in his entire life then I will buy Ino and Sakura entire wardrobes." He turned to Shikamaru, "Hey Shika! Did you even crack a book once all year?"

Shikamaru pulled his test off of his face with a groan, "No… too troublesome. Why?" He then looked at his grade, "Hmm, okay. I see why you asked." And with that he laid his head back on the desk and shut his eyes.

Naruto gave Kyuubi an I-told-you-so look. Kyuubi grumbled, "Oh shut up Naruto-kun. And anyway this isn't about him, it's about you. I don't want to leave you behind." She said with a softened look, "I know that I can't say that I'm alone here anymore after all of the people I've met but you should know that you're still by far the most special to me." Kyuubi set her chin on his shoulder over his back.

Naruto gave her a peck on the cheek, "I know Kyuubi-chan, but I'm just stretched too thin these days. I did tell you that I'm leaving on Thursday didn't I? I've got more work." He softly rubbed Kyuubi's cheek.

Kyuubi closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, "You're leaving again? I thought you said you weren't going to be taking anymore missions for a while?" She sighed, "You can't take me along can you?"

"Not on this one. It shouldn't even be that long." Naruto admitted, "You know, you might as well join at this point, as deep into it as you are- Ow!"

Kyuubi bit Naruto's hand, "I can't Naruto-kun. My dad doesn't really even like me hanging out with you with you being one, how do you think me being a mercenary would go over?"

Naruto rubbed his wounded hand, "That's kind of hypocritical, he was one wasn't he? And if he kicks you out or some other kind of blown up overreaction happens you can come live with me. You pretty much do already."

She gave him a soft smile, "Thank you Naruto-kun." Kyuubi nodded, her eyes still closed and her leaning on his shoulder, "But yeah, that's why he never wanted me to do it. He said that mercenaries are pretty much tainted people and that doing it for too long gets to you. Something about perpetually dealing in death or whatever."

Naruto frowned, "Well he might have a point there Kyuubi-chan. You have a little bloodlust in you at times, but you haven't killed anyone before have you?"

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes in offense, "I've seen you, Sasuke, and even Kiba kill people before. I'm not a stranger to it, I came to terms with it back when I found out what you were."

"Kyuubi sit back in your own seat!" Iruka said as he finished handing out tests and planned on resuming his lecture.

The girl rolled her eyes and sat down in her own desk instead of leaning on her boyfriend's shoulder. They continued their conversation in low whispers because of their enhanced hearing. Naruto faked attentiveness at Iruka's words but spoke to Kyuubi, "You're something like the Deputy in that regard actually. You've never been beaten up and unlike Super-cop you've also never had to look at your own hands after taking a life. What do you think you're actually supposed to do with those claws and that fighting style of yours in a fight? Go for the throat and stuff like that. You basically just scratch your opponent up and knock them out."

Kyuubi had a displeased look on her face as she kept her eyes forward, "It keeps up with you. You've never kept me down."

Naruto snorted, "That's because I've never tried to knock you out on purpose, I hit you clean every time when we spar. Why do you think that when I hit you in the jaw you don't go down for the count? You really think that when we spar I hit you as hard as I can? No, because I can crack bones and smash concrete when I hit as hard as I can. What you have in technique I have in raw power, what you have in theory I have in actual field experience and battle practice. The thing is, if we ever really fought for real I would win because I know exactly what I'm capable of in a deathmatch, you don't, seeing as how you've never been near death before."

He continued, "No matter what you do to me I can get up because I've probably had worse before, you haven't. Have you ever seen your own blood spill out onto the ground like someone turned a faucet? At any point in time when I can't move my arm or leg in a fight I don't say, 'Oh no, I can't walk/punch. The fight is over.' I say, 'Crap, can I reset this and get back up? And if not what can I do as a gimp?' That's the true difference between us love."

Kiba, who also had ridiculous hearing, even better than the half demon couple was also extremely bored sitting through the lecture and decided to get himself involved, "Hey, what are you guys talking about?" He spoke just so that the other two could hear him.

Naruto and Kyuubi turned to him in surprise, forgetting about his hearing before Kyuubi glared at Naruto again, "Naruto-kun thinks he's better than me. That I'm useless in combat."

Naruto resisted the urge to palm his face, "I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth Kyuubi-chan. I just said that you have no real experience, you've only fought once against that weak assassin girl that was after Sasuke with Zaku and that other guy that Sasuke killed."

Kyuubi made an exasperated expression, "And I won! I beat the crap out of that girl, how can you say I'm a bad fighter?"

Naruto sighed, "I didn't say that either, I said that if it came down to a life or death scenario where you alone had to fight someone that was fully capable of killing you, you wouldn't win. Because you've never been there before. Even with everything you know you've never had to respond to the stuff that I listed before. How much can you really know about yourself in a fight if you've never been nearly crippled?"

Kyuubi and Kiba sweatdropped, the rest of the room oblivious to the conversation. Kiba spoke up, "That's… that's pretty morbid dude."

Naruto shrugged, "It happens. Remind me to tell you about the time some guy broke pretty much every bone in my body a few months ago."

Kyuubi clinched her fists, "Fine then. Fight me full blast Naruto-kun. Fight me and let me show you once and for all. Use whatever you want, hit as hard as you want, just fight me."

"No." Naruto rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I'm done talking about this. I should have known the conversation would break down like this." Naruto popped a set of headphones into his ears and applies his attention to the formulas on the board.

Kyuubi growled, alerting Kiba, "What's the matter with you? Did you guys just argue?"

Kyuubi glared a hole into the back of Naruto's head, "Naruto-baka thinks that I can't fight. I taught him the majority of the stuff he knows, how dare he?"

Kiba rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, you were the one that taught him that glowy, rippy, claw shockwave thing didn't you? If you know how to do that and you taught that to him then I don't see why he doesn't think you can fight."

Kyuubi slightly raised her voice, "I know!"

"Were you just doing that selective hearing thing that girls do or what?" Sasuke grumbled from nearby, "He didn't say anything about you not knowing how to fight. But there's a difference between a fight and a deathmatch. In a fight there's a low chance that you get hurt, either because you or your opponent are so much better than the other that it ends quickly, or can subdue the other without much violence. A deathmatch is an utter struggle between one person and another of equal enough strength that the potential for grievous injury is high. In a deathmatch there is no surrender, there's no pulling your punches, no quick endings. The only way that it ends is when one person can't actively defend themselves, when one person can't even move anymore, most of the time when one person is dead."

Sasuke closed his eyes, "He doesn't think you're weak, he just doesn't want you doing that Kyuubi. Have you seen some of his scars? We both have them, they're just really subtle. Just check the one that goes along his hairline the next time you get a chance. He got that when we were 10, the first time that he ever really got his ass kicked and put into the hospital for weeks, so trust me, he knows what he's talking about."

The bell rang and everyone stood up to leave the classroom. Naruto looked back at Kyuubi with his headphones in to see if she was still angry and got his spiky bangs lifted up, confusing the boy.

Kyuubi gasped as she saw a long red line spanning his hairline, "You really have a scar? I thought you couldn't get them because of… you know." She said, as they were still around people that would take their condition the wrong way.

Naruto frowned, "Yeah… The only reason I have it is because it got infected. I was out on the ground for way too long before I got any help and now I'm stuck with it. It's why I never cut my bangs too low when I get a haircut. I never wanted you to see it Kyuubi-chan, it's ugly."

Kyuubi gave him a sympathetic look, "It's just a scar Naruto-kun. It's nothing big."

Naruto shook his head, "It's not just a scar. It's a reminder that I'm not like everyone else. You could go out tomorrow and never have to make a fist, never have to keep your senses peeled for some kind of conflict. Me however, that's all I'm good for. The scar is just a daily reminder that my life is more than likely going to be short and ugly."

Kyuubi hugged him tight to her chest, "You don't have to live that way. Why do you do it?"

Naruto relished in her hold, but had to talk, "I made the decision that this was what I was going to do a long time ago, long before I met you. In order to get out of the low class lifestyle I'm in I have to do something. There's no conventional way out for me, it was either do this or toil in shit jobs for the rest of my life. I won't be that guy." Naruto turned and walked away, leaving Kyuubi, Sasuke, and Kiba alone in the class.

XxX

Naruto had ditched school for the rest of the day and had skipped for the remainder of the week, not even sending a Kage Bunshin in his place. He was able to get the scoop on what he needed to get down in classes from his friends but he didn't want to go himself, not the way things had been going with Kyuubi. She was still set on fighting him to show him what she was really capable of, nothing he could say would change her mind on the subject, thus he had to dig deep and go for desperate measures.

The afternoon before he was supposed to head out on his mission he got the guys to set up a meeting that could help him in the long run… maybe.

Naruto sat down at a table outside of the ice cream shop with a perturbed look on his face, "Okay, I did everything I said I was going to do and then some. I took you two shopping, stayed with you the entire time while you tried the stuff on, gave you both tips on stuff Sasuke would probably like, spent well above the predetermined 20,000 ryo limit per girl, which by the way is more than I'm going to make on my next mission, was your damn human pack mule, didn't shoot my mouth off once, and now I'm treating you both to this expensive-ass ice cream." His eye was twitching by the time he finished, "For the love of all that is holy and sublime, try to help me. I don't even expect you to actually help me, I just want you to try. Can you do that for me, please?"

Ino stuck her spoon teasingly into her mouth, "I don't know. Sakura, what do you think? Should we go against everything we were taught as women and help poor Naruto here out with his issues?"

Sakura did much of the same, "Well, he is right, he _did _do everything as was specified and even a little more than that. He also did acknowledge that he needed our expertise on this, so I say he's been a good enough boy to warrant a little help."

Naruto let out a fake cheer, "Hurrah. I'm ecstatic right now, I'm positively giddy, can't you tell?"

Ino rolled her eyes at his act, "Okay Naruto, what do you want? A guy doesn't just drop 40,000 plus ryo for kicks and me and Forehead are pretty grateful so we owe you this at least."

Naruto sighed and chose his words, "Kyuubi-chan is upset with me because she thinks I think she's weak. That's not true at all though, I just don't want her to do what I do." Naruto bit back his words upon finishing the last sentence.

Ino waved off his concern, "Oh we already know Naruto, I was the one that called you out about your job that day back in the cafeteria. It's why you were commissioned for the job you're going on tomorrow. I gave your name to my dad." She smiled at him, "Me and Sakura are going too. It's like a field trip if it makes you feel better."

Naruto gave her a deadpan look, "Okay…" He decided to file that information away for future griping purposes, "Anyway, now she's dead-set on fighting me to prove that she's just as good as me."

Sakura shrugged, "So? The way you two talk along with Sasuke-kun and Kiba you fight all the time."

Naruto shook his head, "There is a difference between a spar, a fight, and a _fight_. I spar regularly with Kyuubi-chan and the Deputy, that day in the cafeteria I fought Kiba, what she wants I can't give because that is a _fight_, and that will either humiliate her, or hurt her badly."

Sakura gave him an odd look and took another bite of her sundae, "What's the difference?"

Naruto gave her a dry look and visibly made a fist before pointing at the wall with the other hand, "Spar." Naruto punched at the wall making light contact.

"Fight." Naruto threw a punch at the wall that made a significant smacking noise.

"_Fight_…" He said with emphasis before punching the wall with enough force for it to sound off loud enough to make people passing by on the street look at them. Pieces of the wall started cracking and falling off. Sakura and Ino stared at him wide-eyed, "You get it now?"

The manager came running outside and saw them sitting by the cracked wall, "What happened out here?" He asked, shooting an accusing eye at the street urchin Naruto while ignoring the two girls.

Naruto didn't spare the man a glance, "Your place is falling apart, that thing almost hit the ladies." He turned to Sakura and Ino, "Do you girls want to press charges for an unsafe environment?"

The manager looked at Ino and Sakura nervously. Both girls smirked as Ino spoke up, "I don't know Naruto-kun… That was really scary, what a shoddy job of upkeep this place has."

The manager dropped down and bowed pitifully, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you girls for this?"

Naruto grinned, "I think they could do with another helping of what they had, for free of course."

The manager hopped to his feet and ran back inside, "Of course, at once!"

The girls stifled their snickers in order to refrain from blowing their cover, "That was so bad Naruto."

Naruto shrugged, "Now when have I ever given off the impression that I'm a good guy?" The manager returned with the ice cream before backing off and apologizing profusely, "All right let's get out of here before the manager gets smart and realizes I did it. I don't need to be kicked out of any more places."

XxX

Naruto led the girls through the shopping district of the city towards their homes, their purchases in his grip, and continued talking, "Anyway, Like I said, now she wants to fight me for real to prove a point that she doesn't have to prove and I'm not going to roll over for her and let her beat me, that would make things way worse."

Ino furrowed her brow in thought, "Why don't you let her fight someone else and show her?"

Naruto frowned, "For that to work I have to think of someone to fight her that is actually strong enough to potentially win. That and I don't want her getting hurt for a stupid reason like that. No one should have to know how bad they can get beaten up and continue, that's a terrible thing to know, your threshold of pain."

Sakura walked up next to him, "She's going to be really stubborn about this you know. The only way to make things better might be to actually fight her and be done with it. It's completely against any logical reasonable thought I should be having and I'm sure it makes you feel like a real heel, but that may be the only thing you can do to move past this."

Naruto looked at Sakura, "She'll be expecting- no, demanding, a real fight. She knows every last thing that I'm capable of so she'll know if I'm holding back, all she doesn't know is that in a real fight it's damn near impossible to finish me, and I've been told as much repeatedly so it's not just me blowing hot air." Naruto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Kami, what a stupid thing to get in an argument over…"

Ino didn't understand the problem here, "So fight her. Get it over with already."

Naruto felt like pulling his hair out, "You don't get it, my moves are too destructive! All of my attacks start out at 'maim' and then increase in lethality from there. I don't have any subtle finesse moves, I'm centered around violence, therefore everything I do is intended to inflict long-term harm. Kyuubi-chan is used to sparring, which means that if she hits me once she'll think she's winning, what she also doesn't know is that I see no problems with taking three punches just to land one, because my one will be better than your three combined."

They arrived at Ino's house and the girls took the bags from his hands as Ino opened her gate, "Okay, well we'll have plenty of time to hash out all of the demeaning degrading things to make her forgive you tomorrow when we leave, for now, me and Sakura have to peruse through what we bought!" Ino pulled Sakura inside of the gate, giving the pink-haired girl enough time to wave before shutting it behind her.

Naruto waved back before pausing, "What do you mean forgive me? What the hell did I do? And what do you mean _your_ purchases? I bought everything today!" Naruto threw his hands into the air and started roof-hopping his way home.

XxX

Naruto opened his door letting the dark of his living room fill his senses as he made it home that evening. Naruto quickly located the light switch and flipped it on.

"Ugh… Turn it off."

Naruto blinked as he noticed the fowl-shaped haircut laying on his couch, "Why the hell are you in my house Deputy?" He looked Sasuke's form over, "And why do you look like you were just on the ass end of an ass-kicking?"

Sasuke opened one of his blackened eyes and painfully looked over at Naruto, "Itachi… He's training me. I'm not sure whether to be grateful or pray for it to end…"

Naruto's face turned to one of amusement, "Does your mom know that you're getting the stuffing beaten out of you by Itachi? Maybe she can stop it."

Sasuke glared at him, "Gee thanks for that. You just brought up the reason that Itachi is 'training' me in the first place. I had to get her to ask him to do it… and now I'm regretting it." He thumped his head against the cushion, "I'm hiding here for tonight…"

Naruto laughed and went over to the kitchen to fix himself some food, "You're hiding from _Itachi_, the Itachi that tracked me down and dragged my ass to school for three years straight, and you're hiding _here_ of all places? Your best friend's house?" He let out a chuckle, "Hey, maybe he'll overlook the fact that this is the most obvious place to look for you."

"Oof!" Sasuke rolled off of the couch, thudding off of the floor before slowly picking himself up, "You don't even know! He's stomping a mudhole in my ass and walking it dry!"

Naruto shrugged as he poured himself some cereal and went into his fridge for milk, "The best way to get better at fighting is by being shown what not to do, and the best way for that is to fight someone way better than you… and get your ass beat, I don't fight Itachi because I have enough people that can do that for me. Also you need to be faster for the way you fight, I suggest weights, I have a line on those and can get you some half off."

Sasuke limped his way to the kitchen, "You don't wear weights."

Naruto lifted the sleeves of his open button-up and revealed weighted wristbands as well as showing his ankle weights by lifting his pant legs, "They're really good." Naruto rolled his sleeves back down at shut the door to his fridge, "I'm seeing the guy that wears these things more than me tomorrow on the mission, I'll talk to him about it then." He lifted his carton of milk to his nose and sniffed before holding it out towards Sasuke, "Does this still smell good to you?"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

Naruto put the milk on the counter and walked over to the front door to open it, revealing Isshin's imposing frame. Naruto blinked up at the large man blankly, "Um… Do you want to come in Isshin-sensei?"

Isshin walked past Naruto into his house and saw Sasuke leaning pitifully on Naruto's counter with bruises all over. Raising an eyebrow he turned back to Naruto, wordlessly asking the question. Naruto shrugged, "Training with his brother. What are you doing here Isshin-sensei? You never come to my house."

Isshin stuck his gaze on Naruto, "My daughter is quite upset with you right now Uzumaki."

Naruto sighed and slumped on the floor against the door, "I know… So I guess you're here to chew my butt out about making your 'little girl' upset and/or to beat my ass, right?"

Isshin shook his head, "No. You can beat her if you ever fought, I know this. You were just telling her the truth, she doesn't have enough real-world experience in combat to match you even with her being more experienced with her power than you are with yours." He looked over at Sasuke suspiciously.

Naruto waved it off, "Oh it's okay, he's the only person that knows about it and I trust him with it. I haven't had much of an excuse to transform at all since I've unlocked it, and I can't really train it away from your home because the massive bloodlust flowing off of me when I use it messes with people."

Isshin nodded, "As long as you can access it at will, you're doing fine with it for now."

Naruto stood up off of the floor, "So what should I do sensei? She's really pissed off about this, she hasn't even called me since that day at school."

Isshin patted him on the shoulder, "If she's anything like her mother then she'll have cooled down about it by the time you return from your mission. Just give her some more time boy and things will be fine. But you still have to apologize to her."

Naruto sweatdropped, "You know, you're not the first person to tell me that today…"

Isshin nodded, "Well the person that told you that was either extremely wise, or a woman."

Sasuke spoke up from the kitchen, "Sir, are you his sensei?" Sasuke asked Isshin.

Isshin looked at the bruised up Uchiha, "I am."

Sasuke limped over to the other two, "Do you think you could train me too? I really need it."

Isshin looked Sasuke over, "Do you have demonic blood flowing through you like my daughter or the blonde idiot here?"

"Oi!"

Sasuke shook his head. Isshin made a noise of affirmation, "Well then there's nothing that I can teach you my boy. All I can really do is give you the ass-kicking treatment, and from the look of you you're already getting that."

Sasuke blinked, "You're saying that my brother Itachi is actually training me for real?"

Isshin nodded and Naruto snorted, "I told you that getting your ass kicked was a legit way to get trained. Getting punched in the face makes you really not want to get punched in the face again, therefore you find ways to avoid that."

Sasuke rubbed the black eye on his face, "But he hasn't taught me anything since I learned Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Flame Jutsu)!"

Naruto scoffed and thumbed his finger at Isshin, "So? Isshin-sensei didn't teach me anything until I could last an entire session of training without blacking out from blood loss or require Setsuna-chan to fix me up."

Isshin narrowed his eyes at Naruto, "Don't call my wife –chan brat."

Naruto gave him an ignorant look, "What? I call every female that doesn't hate my guts –chan of some kind. I doubt you want me calling her kaa-chan yet." He gave Isshin a leery look, "Or do you? …Tou-san."

Sasuke dragged his hand down his face, "I am infected by your stupidity."

Isshin tried to ignore Naruto as he continued explaining to Sasuke, "Anyway, when you impress him enough during your sparring he'll then start actually teaching you things like I did with the brain-dead blonde over there."

Naruto scowled, "I hear you old man. When you insult me you're just saying, 'I love you Naruto, you're so good for my Kyuubi-chan!' Well I have to say that I love you too… dad."

Isshin extended his claws and swung at Naruto who burst into smoke and left a scratched up log in his place, "Taste the lumber bitch!"

"Fucking little brat!" Isshin growled and ran down the hall to his room and locked the door. Isshin started pounding on the door and charged up his youki to bust the door down until he turned around and saw Naruto standing on the balcony outside. He ran back into the living room and left through the door in there to chase him off of the balcony into the night.

Sasuke watched, unblinking until he heard the bedroom door unlock and saw Naruto walk out unscathed with a smirk on his face. Sasuke pointed out of the window where he saw Naruto being chased off by Isshin. Naruto's smirk became a grin, "I love Kage Bunshin… so much."

A knock came at Naruto's door again and being the host that he is he opened it to reveal Itachi's emotionless face, "Hello Naruto-kun. Have you seen my foolish little brother by any chance? I'm assuming that he stopped here at some point during his frantic escape from our family grounds."

Sasuke paled and jumped into Naruto's hall closet, shutting the door silently behind him. Naruto pointed behind him, "Super-cop just jumped into my closet out of fear of your scalding hot awesome Itachi."

Sasuke opened the door and slinked out, looking dejected, "Thanks for nothing assface." Itachi tossed a kunai at Sasuke who puffed into smoke and revealed an impaled log that fell to the ground, "Later Itachi! See you at home!" Sasuke's voice sounded off from the distance.

"What a bother… all of that wasted time." Itachi sighed and looked at Naruto, "I'm assuming you taught him that."

Naruto shrunk under Itachi's eyes, "Um… If I say no will that keep me from getting my ass kicked all over town?"

"Nope. Sorry Naruto-kun." Itachi grabbed Naruto by his collar and dragged him out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him, "I was going to train Sasuke, but it looks like you could stand to go a few rounds yourself."

Naruto's voice rang out through the hall, "Wait Itachi that's not necessary! No! I've got somewhere to be tomorrow! Can I just send a Kage Bunshin with you instead?"

"Be a man Naruto-kun."

* * *

Omake: The Birds and the Bees

Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Obito had sat Naruto down in Jiraiya's office alone. Naruto looked around at the faces of the three men. Jiraiya had on a weird, creepy grin that he usually had before he said something perverted to get a rise out of Naruto. Kakashi had on an oddly pleasant eye-smile and had his little orange book shut for once. Obito just couldn't look at Naruto without snickering.

Naruto stared at the three dully, "So any particular reason you guys dragged me down here like an intervention? Is this about my rage addiction? Because I'm not kicking that, I just can't live without rage-ahol."

Kakashi shook his head, "No, it's nothing like that. We've decided that it's time to tell you everything you need to know about being a man."

Obito held back a laugh, "Yep little buddy. On the off chance that you can actually convince that hot little thing that we keep seeing you around with to jump into your bed for some shenanigans, we want to make sure you're ready and don't have any questions come game time."

Jiraiya finished with a grin, "Yep. Consider this talk your question and answer session kid. You have three men that are worldly experienced and here to inform you on concerns of the flesh my boy. Now why don't we start this off by you telling us what you already know so we don't gloss over stuff you already knew about?"

Naruto's eye twitched at first. How the hell are they going to sit him down for something so stupid? Eventually he sighed in resignation. Fighting it might make things worse, Obito might even bust out the obligatory virgin joke; hell he might even surprise Naruto and blast him with a gay joke while he's at it, "Fine… okay let's get this over with while I'm not in my right state of mind."

Kakashi's eye-smile never left his face, "That's the spirit Naruto! Now go ahead and get talking. Don't be afraid to ask us something, we are the adults after all."

XxX

(Three Hours Later)

Obito's one eye visible from his patch was stuck wide open in disbelief, "So there's a website where you can buy any kind of condom you want in bulk? Like, stock up for seven months, bulk? And they send it right to your house? No awkward buying them from the glass case in the pharmacy?"

Kakashi looked frazzled right next to him, "They have a TV network that plays nothing but skin flicks 24/7? Wait, they have a dozen of them?"

Jiraiya was almost drooling at what Naruto had just told him, "You mean there are sites on the internet with web-cams? So I can do actual research from the safety and privacy of my own office chair?" Naruto nodded, "Alright gaki, we've taught you enough today. You can see yourself out right?" He laughed to himself as he left the room and slammed the door to his private study.

Naruto pointed at the door Jiraiya just shut, "1000 ryo he doesn't come out of there even for food or water for two weeks." Naruto sighed in contentment as he looked to see himself out, "Satellite TV and free reign over personal access to the internet certainly makes sex ed a lot easier doesn't it?" Naruto chuckled to himself as he left the three 'experienced men' in Jiraiya's office.

* * *

**Chapter done. Four stories to update these days… a whole lot of fun actually, I like doing it. Anyway, I will be redoing the first chapters, like re-upping the paragraph layout and stuff like that. It's because I care…**

**Alright, I'm done. Kenchi out.**


	26. Half Assed Road Trip

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. You can stop laughing at my horrible misfortune now, because none of you ingrates do either! HAHAHAHA! *sigh* That felt good.

**Chapter 26: Half-Assed Road Trip**

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Naruto stood on his skateboard, rolling down the street towards a large warehouse. For this mission he took to wearing a baggy pair of orange pants with a blue stripe down the side, white running shoes, and a blue under-armour covered by a sleeveless orange warm up jacket. He had on a blue visor turned around to the back and blue wristbands.

Out front were the rest of his team for the upcoming mission. Rock Lee had on his usual green spandex suit and red belt while Haku had on a light blue casual kimono with touches of pink throughout it. Haku saw him coming first and waved at him as he hopped off the board and set it between his backpack and his body, "Hello Naruto-kun. Why are you skating? You've just been running everywhere lately, it's odd to see you skateboard again."

Naruto walked over to her with a tired look on his face, "Do I have bruises on my face?"

Haku squinted her eyes and looked him over before shaking her head, "No, you don't have any marks on your face." She looked at him curiously, "Why do you ask?"

Naruto sighed as he leaned against the side of the building, "Because last night for old time's sake Itachi thought it would be a bang-up idea to 'spar' with me again, just like he did when I was a little younger."

Lee made his presence known loudly and clearly, "That sounds like a most youthful way to spend one's evening Naruto-kun!"

Naruto shook his head, "You would think so, if Itachi knew how to pull his punches. He ended up kicking my ass until like maybe one o'clock in the morning and then I had to walk home. Not very fun to do when your face is leaking precious lifeblood. I think I left a trail all the way to my front door. Running here would have hurt so I just rolled here on my board."

Haku frowned, "Are you okay to go on the mission? Maybe we should just send you home and see if we can get a quick replacement?"

Naruto shook his head, "No Haku-neechan I'll be fine, I just need some more shut eye once we get on the road and I'll be A-ok, trust me." Naruto looked around, "What time is it? Am I late?"

Rock Lee shook his head vigorously, "Not at all Naruto-kun. It is five minutes to nine in the morning. Our clients for the mission should be here any moment now. If they are not I will do one hundred laps around the warehouse, and if I cannot do that I will do four hundred pushups on my thumbs, and if I cannot do that-."

"LEE!" Naruto yelled to get his attention, "My head hurts, I might have a mild concussion, and it is too damn early to be shouting at the top of your lungs. Calm down before I get Haku-neechan to encase you in ice for easy transport."

Haku looked at Naruto, "You can't tell me to do anything Naruto-kun, I'm leading the mission. You're my subordinate today."

Lee jumped between them, "Yes! The lovely and youthful Haku-chan is our commander on this assignment! Her experience will be welcome on our excursion!"

"Lee." Haku started, "Calm down or I'll be forced to encase you in ice for easy transport." Naruto gave her a dry look that she just shrugged at, "What? It's not because you told me to do it, I said that all on my own." She pouted, "I'm the boss."

Naruto picked his ear, "Uh-huh. I've seen more action than you recently so when it all goes down let's see whose judgment you look to when the fight starts."

Haku's eyes gleamed as she pulled out a handful of senbon. Naruto simply looked at her blankly, "Come on, do you think that you can hold that over me forever. I'm way better now than I was back then. I'll bet my entire paycheck you can't do it again."

"You're not the only one who trains Naruto-kun." Haku said as the two began to pace around each other playfully with smirks on their faces, "I'm still your senior member in the company, don't forget that. No matter how good you are there are still things that you've never seen me do."

"So these are the mercenaries that I've hired. Good, you're on time and you all look ready to go." The attention of all three teen mercs was locked on a man with a long black trenchcoat over a suit and a long blonde ponytail with sharp, blue eyes. He came up to them and looked them all over as they stood at attention… well Lee and Haku stood at attention. Naruto just yawned with a tired look on his face.

He looked at Naruto and had his eyes remain on him, "You know you're reminding me a lot of one of my friend's kids right now." Looking at the rest of the group he smiled, "Well I am Inoichi Yamanaka, the man that asked for your company's assistance. You will be following the truck and provide protection for the shipment."

"Question." Naruto asked as he raised his hand, "What are we transporting that you think that you need mercenaries to keep it in one piece?"

Inoichi looked at Naruto, "I would rather not tell you. It's very sensitive information that has gotten the last few shipments I've tried to send attacked. Just know that your main aim is to keep the truck safe." The team nodded, "Actually, that isn't your main aim."

Haku looked confused, "What exactly is our main aim then sir?" She asked before looking at Lee and Naruto who were just as lost as her.

Inoichi smiled, "Why to protect my daughter and her friend of course. They planned on going to the area where the truck's destination was and asked if I could simply send them up there with the escorts I hired, luckily you're all around their age anyway." He turned and placed his hands around his mouth, "Ino honey, it's time to go!"

Naruto cursed in his head, "Fuck, I forgot about that." Haku and Lee looked at him, "I know this girl, she's a classmate of mine… actually she's the one that blew my cover."

Ino came out and stood by her father, followed by Sakura. They both looked over at Naruto and smiled at him, "Hey Naruto!" Sakura called out, "Have things gotten any better since we talked?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Um, I haven't really spoken to Kyuubi-chan since then." He then sternly pointed, "I'm not going to fight her either, that's just a bad idea all around."

Ino rolled her eyes, "Fine. Just forget all of our good advice and be stupid. Now let's get this show on the road! It's time to go to Takigakure!"

Naruto sweatdropped, "Why do you all want to go to Taki anyway? What's in Taki that you have to tag along with mercenaries to get or do?"

Sakura smiled, "That is a secret." At that point she noticed Lee staring at her, "Um, yes. Can I help you?"

Lee snapped out of his staring trance with a blush on his face, "You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life." He gave her the nice guy pose, "Please go out with me, I promise I will protect you with my life."

Sakura's eye twitched uncomfortably as she backed away, "Um, no thank you."

Naruto slapped Lee on the back of the head, "Lee you don't even know her name. How are you going to ask the girl to go out with you like that? You sound like a creeper. Use some common sense fool."

Naruto looked between everyone and nodded to himself, "Okay, now that everyone is here I only have one thing to say." He paused for dramatic effect, "Shotgun!" Before sprinting off in the direction of the SUV provided for them by Kaisha Hein for the mission.

Running through the parking lot he whipped his head around looking for the target vehicle quickly as he could hear Lee's footsteps rapidly padding behind him, "Yes!" He shouted as he finally saw it and rushed to the passenger side door. As he started pulling on the handle he blanched as he found that the door was locked, and turned to see the look of intent on the face of a sprinting Rock Lee who took this as a challenge.

Naruto prayed to whatever god would listen for some kind of saving grace in this instance, "Lee! If you take the front seat you can't sit in the back and get to know Sakura! That's the name of the girl you tried to hit on! Stop running damn it!"

Lee came to a stop just short of plowing into Naruto and leaving a healthy sized dent in their borrowed vehicle, "Ah, Sakura… Such a beautiful name."

Naruto held onto the door handle shakily as he had just seen his life flash before his eyes, thinking that a raging green beast was going to meld his face into the metal siding of a sports-utility vehicle, "Yes Lee, Sakura Haruno is her name." Naruto's head turned towards the sight of Ino, Sakura, and Haku walking towards them as a click signified the unlocking of the doors, "Any particular reason you didn't do that any sooner Haku-chan?"

Haku simply walked around the car and climbed into the front seat, "It was out of range Naruto-kun. Sorry." She sure as hell didn't sound sorry.

Naruto grumbled to himself as he sat in the passenger's seat while Lee, ever the gentleman, assisted the civilian ladies into the vehicle.

"Wait!" Before Haku could start the engine Inoichi came towards them, "Take these two with you as well." Chouji and Shikamaru came forward, one waving in a friendly manner, and the other just walking with an apathetic look on his face.

"Kami! More? Is this a mission or a vacation?" Naruto bounced his head off of the dashboard hard."

Haku flicked his ear, "Don't do that Naruto-kun. With your head you'd probably activate the airbag. And there's plenty of room… of course taking all of these people with us on this mission will cost you extra." She said, finishing with a point to Inoichi.

Inoichi nodded, "Of course. I just want these kids to see some more of the world and with capable escorts like you all everything should be fine." He watched as he saw Haku and Naruto up front, Lee, Sakura, and Ino in the middle row, and Chouji and Shikamaru in the back, "Well if everyone is ready I'll signal the driver that everything is ready. Good luck."

Naruto sighed as the man walked away. Lee noticed this, "What is the matter Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked back, "He said 'good luck'. Every time anyone ever says that the situation goes to hell. I hope you guys came ready for a fight or something."

Haku turned the ignition and put the SUV in drive, "You're so negative Naruto-kun. There's no need to be so paranoid. What if nothing happens at all?"

Naruto leaned his head against the door and began to shut his eyes, "If nothing happens at all then you can call me on it when we get there. But rule number one of working with me Haku-chan; nothing is ever that cut and dry."

XxX

Kyuubi on a wall separating a patio from the grassy backyard, "I can't believe him. How can he think that I'm so weak I need to be protected?"

"I really don't know Kyuubi, but this is far from an appropriate time for you to be talking to me about it." Sasuke said, Sharingan active, as he was in a backwards hop, "Talk to me later okay? Shit." Sasuke said as Itachi rushed towards him. Sasuke got his hands up to divert his inevitable attack but Itachi ended up keeping his body low and sent a fist into his body. Sasuke grunted, but held his ground and lifted his knee sharply to attempt to catch his older brother in the face, failing when Itachi backflipped out of his guard.

Sasuke grunted and rushed forward, hoping to catch Itachi in a misstep. Sasuke slid across the grass to try and take Itachi's hands out while he was flipping, but Itachi altered the flow of his body weight and crashed down forward on Sasuke with an axe-kick that landed directly across his torso, taking the air completely out of his sails.

Itachi backed off as Sasuke crawled away coughing and trying to pull himself back to his feet. Kyuubi cringed as she saw Itachi remove his heel from Sasuke's ribs, "That looked painful."

Sasuke stood up holding his body, "*cough* No, Getting your 170 pound older brother to drop a heel into my chest tickled. Would you like to come over here and try it for yourself?"

Itachi sighed, "Otouto, Naruto-kun didn't complain nearly as much as you did when I fought him last night. He actually did so well I went ahead and helped him master a jutsu that I conveniently already learned, it was very fortunate for him that I did."

Sasuke cleared out the cobwebs from the shots he had been taking, "You mean when you were beating him up last night you taught Naruto a jutsu? Why?"

"I didn't teach him anything. He knew it already, he just couldn't do it correctly." Itachi deactivated his Sharingan, "He actually hit me a few times rather nastily last night."

Sasuke looked him over, "You don't look any worse for wear at all from it. It must not have been that bad."

Itachi put his hands together in a ram sign, "Kai." The air around Itachi's face shimmered before revealing that he had cast a genjutsu over his features. Itachi's nose had red markings all over the bridge, there was a rather nasty fist sized black mark on his left jaw, and one of his usual coal black eyes had some red bleeding into it, "He really didn't like getting dragged out of his house in the middle of the night. I said I wouldn't let him leave until I was satisfied with his performance… and then he got serious. I actually had to try against him, I think I hit him too hard because there was a trail of blood leading down the street when he left."

Sasuke took this information into account, "So to get you to actually teach me something I have to hurt you. Not just lay a hand on you like we were sparring, but actually hit you and make you hurt somehow."

Itachi faintly smiled, "It took you long enough to get it little brother. What? Did you think I couldn't take it or something? Stop holding back and show me the limits of your ability."

Sasuke let his Sharingan spin wildly, "So you're telling me-."

Itachi nodded and re-activated his own, "Come at me with the intent to kill. Nothing less." He made a quick turn to Kyuubi, "My dear you probably want to get somewhere safely out of range for this."

Kyuubi lifted a delicate eyebrow, "Why would I-?"

She was cut off as Itachi immediately burst into flames, but as the flames died down it revealed a log in his place.

"That's why."

Kyuubi jumped as Itachi spoke while standing behind her on the roof of the house. Itachi smirked as Sasuke glared at him from the ground, "Let me at least get down first Sasuke. I don't think our parents would like it if you burned down the house trying to prove a point.

XxX

Sakura shifted in her seat uncomfortably as the weird kid with the bushy eyebrows kept looking at her, "So… Um, Rock Lee, how do you know Naruto again?"

Rock Lee gave her a smile that she swore came with a 'pinging' sound effect, "Ahh, you would like to know about my relationship with our mutual acquaintance Naruto-kun? Very well!"

Sakura looked at Naruto in the front seat who had his eyes closed and a smirk on his lips. She really wished that Lee would have gotten shotgun now.

Lee launched into his spiel, "Naruto-kun is a dear patron of the gymnasium that I work in as my cover! I first met him a few years ago, fighting against a few of the older members. From there when I joined the company I often times saw him there as well, however he was not a mercenary yet."

"I still can't believe they let you in before me… what the hell?" Everyone heard Naruto mumble with his eyes closed as he shifted to get comfortable.

Haku looked back with a slightly displeased face, "Lee, don't give your backstory to civilians. That is a bad practice for you to have."

Lee looked down slightly, "I am sorry Haku-chan."

Shikamaru spoke up from the backseat, "We know Naruto is a mercenary and we never blew his cover. It's not that big of a deal."

"Bullshit." Naruto said from his front seat, "If you never blew my cover then why am I here? To get me for the mission Ino had to tell her dad my name and that I was a mercenary, telling someone else that I was a mercenary in the process. That's another person that could potentially tell another person who will tell another person, especially if I'm good. I.E. my cover is blown… again."

Chouji, who had procured a bag of chips from somewhere on his person, was munching away, "What's the worst thing that could happen to you without a cover Naruto?"

Naruto smirked, "I got attacked by assassins a few weeks ago. Does that answer your question well enough?"

"Assassins?" Asked the civilian girls in the car. Sakura spoke up next, "You have people out trying to kill you?"

Naruto shrugged, "Sasuke does too just so you know. It comes with the territory. Don't worry about it, there's no need to concern yourself with the secrets of scary people. Just sit there and look pretty."

Haku looked over at Naruto, "Naruto-kun, did anyone ever find out who sent those people after you?"

Naruto shook his head, "No Haku-neechan. They had sudden death pills on them before anyone could drag the answers out of them. Itachi said that they were foaming at the mouth and lifeless twenty minutes after we brought them in. I don't think they would have known anyway, they were weak grunts." Naruto looked back and saw everyone except Lee's eyes on him, "What? I thought Kiba would have told you. He was there when we caught them."

"Naruto-kun." Haku said, narrowing her eyes as a group of motorcycles pulled up near the truck. The passengers on the backs of them jumped off onto the truck.

Naruto sighed and started stretching himself out in the close quarters of the vehicle, "Get me close Haku-neechan. I'll handle this part."

Haku did as asked and maneuvered close to the back of the truck. Naruto opened the passenger door and perched himself on the edge, about to crawl out onto the hood of the SUV before a shout from Ino got his attention, "Naruto! What are you doing?"

Naruto grinned at her, "Saving your dad's transport. What does it look like?" With that he instead climbed on top of the SUV and kicked the door shut before jumping on top of the trailer of the truck.

Haku frowned and got into the passenger's seat amid the terrified yells of the girls, "Lee could you come up here and drive for a moment?"

Lee saluted her and climbed into the driver's seat, taking the wheel from her hands. Haku reached into her kimono and pulled out senbon as she rolled the window down and began taking aim.

XxX

Naruto stuck himself to the roof of the trailer and waited for the two men climbing up both sides to reach the top, "It took you all long enough to get up here. Let's get this over with, this wind is killing my hair, I don't have the luxury of wearing those helmets like you all do."

The two helmeted attackers looked at one another before standing up like Naruto was and running at him to attack. Naruto dropped into a stance and blocked the punches of the first person before shifting his body out of the way of the other's. A kick to the body of the second thief and a shove to the first sent them both back.

Naruto then ran at them both, snapping a push kick out at one of them, who caught it. The second one threw a kick at Naruto's head, forcing him to bend his body backwards to let it slide over his head. He fell onto his back and kicked the person holding his leg right in the helmet, disorienting them and forcing them to let him go. Naruto then pushed himself to slide along his back atop the trailer to gain some distance before retaking his feet.

Naruto hopped up, shaking himself loose, "I don't like the look of the numbers here, so I guess I'll even it up." Naruto made his cross seal and formed a Kage Bunshin out of thin air, "That's better, now let's do this for real."

XxX

Lee pulled alongside the truck, while Haku hung outside of the window, taking aim with her senbon. She cursed to herself as the helmets of those riding the motorcycles covered their necks too well for her to get a clean shot at them. Haku took a deep breath and sat on the outside of the window before sticking her feet to the side of the truck using her chakra. She ran on the side of the truck and jumped on back of one of the motorcycles. The rider looked back at Haku who was smiling sweetly, "Do you mind if I borrow this for a while? Thank you."

Haku then proceeded to throw the person off of the bike and scoot forward, taking it for herself. Haku rode ahead of the truck and wrapped back around the other side of it in another lane heading towards the motorcycle on the other side. Haku sat sideways on the bike and kicked the other rider in the face, turning his motorcycle over and sending him falling into the side of the truck before falling under it and getting run over.

Haku cringed at the sound of the rider's death but rode back towards the driver's side of the truck to check on the driver.

XxX

Naruto and his clone rushed forward, crisscrossing to throw the enemy off. One Naruto jumped over the other to attempt a high stomp on one of the people trying to attack the truck. They split apart, letting Naruto slam down between them with a metallic thud that dented the roof. They both converged on him while he was crouched from the stomp attempt and tried to punch him in the face.

Naruto caught both of their fists in his grip and pulled them together, crashing their helmets into one another audibly. The second Naruto came and attempted a spinning capoiera kick to a downed opponent, but they rolled out of the way.

The first Naruto rolled backwards but had an attacker on him. They ended up getting Naruto with a punch in the face, and as a reflex Naruto cracked them right back in the helmet, breaking the visor. The man, as identified by his yell at getting shards of his visor in his eyes, ended up eating a final spin kick from Naruto that sent him flying off of the top of the truck.

Naruto then turned towards his clone that was pitched in combat with the other man. Naruto simply made a half-tiger seal, "Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion)! Boom!"

Naruto's clone smirked before it started to glow. It latched onto the other attacker tightly before exploding. Naruto whooped loudly at the sight of his most elusive jutsu to date finally working, "I love you Itachi! Finally! It took long enough for me to use that move!"

Naruto looked over the side where he saw Haku conversing with the driver. He hopped down onto the back of her bike and wrapped his arms around her waist to stay on, "Hi Haku-neechan, you get rid of all of the others?"

Haku nodded, "From the smoke billowing from the top of the truck I would say that you won handily enough yourself, huh Naruto-kun?"

Naruto grinned at her, "Yep. Say, can I keep this? You don't want it, do you? You don't seem like the motorcycle kind of girl."

Haku frowned over her shoulder at Naruto, "Naruto-kun motorcycles are very dangerous."

Naruto gave her a deadpan look, "Yes Haku-neechan, because jumping off of the roof of a moving SUV and fighting off people while standing on top of an 18-wheeler is so _safe_ right?" He shifted into puppy-dog eyes form, "Please? I'll get a helmet and gloves and a vest and everything. I'll be totally safe."

Haku sighed, "You're so lucky I love you Naruto-kun." She smiled slightly as she felt him nuzzling her back in thanks, "Stupid, cute, sociopathic, pseudo little brother."

Naruto let go of her back, "Hey… why does everyone call me a sociopath. I show no signs of antisocial personality disorder whatsoever."

Haku pointed up at the top of the truck where smoke was still billowing from the spot where Naruto used Bunshin Daibakuha. Naruto looked away, "Well damn neechan, I thought that was my job. You can't call me on that."

Haku turned her eyes back on the highway, "Well how about you picking fights with me and countless others for years?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Misplaced aggression?"

Haku continued, "How about the several different aliases that you came up with, even going as far as getting legal IDs and birth certificates made for two of them?"

Naruto chuckled nervously, "Everyone needs a backup plan… or three."

"How about how you talk to everyone with at least a smidge of disrespect and ire and the fact that you use derogatory names at more than half of the people that you know?"

Naruto shrugged, "People suck."

Haku continued to list things as they rode, "You can't sit still for any longer than an hour unless you're sleeping and your idea of 'fun' usually consists of you bending or breaking the law on a regular basis. Your single most positive relationship until you met Kyuubi-chan was with your best friend Sasuke, with which you proceeded to get into violent fist fights and still do to this day. You threaten small children, old people, teenagers, adults, adults in positions of power, generally anyone that steps on your bad side for even a moment with malicious violence. You have a hair-trigger temper, you have an irresponsible work attitude, and you have a complete utter disregard for the safety of yourself and that of others." Haku stated flawlessly, "What part of that _doesn't_ qualify you as a sociopath? How the hell did you even pass the psychological exam to get into Kaisha Hein in the first place?"

Naruto waved it off, "I had Mikoto-kaasan fill out the written part while I cleaned the house for her one day. She really flattered me in that thing, she sees me _way_ better than the rest of you assholes do. _She_ doesn't think I'm a sociopath."

Haku's eye twitched, "There was an interview part to the test too."

Naruto grinned, "Oh that. Do you know how easy it is to B.S. that test? How do you think we have people like Zabuza and Anko working there? Or Gai? Or Lee? There are plenty of bat-shit crazy people working there besides me, I'm just the most blatant, glaring example that you can think of because I can't blame it on the lifestyle taking its toll on me, I've always been like this."

Haku sighed, "And I assume you're proud of this fact?"

Naruto nodded, still grinning, "You know it!"

Haku shook her head as she maneuvered them ahead of the truck through traffic, "You are so strange Naruto-kun…"

* * *

**Who else pumps out consistent chapters in 4 different stories? Nobody but me baby! **

**Nothing to say. I'm tired, it's late, it's raining, class is at 8 am tomorrow, girl in the room, game time. Later. Drop the kid a line and I'll get to it... eventually.  
**

**Kenchi out.**


	27. You're Gonna Go Far Kid

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I should kick my own ass if I ever get this delusion in my mind. Feel free to join in yourself if this ever happens.

**Chapter 27: You're Gonna Go Far Kid**

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After the little skirmish atop the transport truck, Haku and Naruto stayed on the motorcycle while Rock Lee took over driving the SUV. Naruto and Haku rode out in front while the SUV stayed behind the truck.

"Please Haku-neechan?" Naruto asked pitifully, "I really want to."

Haku sighed for the umpteenth time that day, "No Naruto-kun, I'm not going to let you drive. If I let you drive you're going to break formation and do stupid things in the middle of traffic. I shouldn't even let you have this thing in hindsight, not only are you far too reckless for a motorcycle, you don't even have a license yet."

Naruto scoffed, "I can get a license anytime I want. All I have to do is show that I'm adequate with a motor vehicle and I can get a counterfeit of anything I want from the company. Fuck, I could get a pilot's license if I wanted to. Your shit isn't real, remember?"

Haku rolled her eyes, though Naruto couldn't see it, "I still learned the proper ways to operate a four wheeled vehicle. All you would learn how to do is make it go forward and maybe stop, but not anything else."

Naruto blinked blankly, "Vehicles do more than just go forward and stop?"

"Ugh…"

XxX

In the vehicle, the general consensus was that it was somewhat hard to acknowledge what most of them had just seen with their own eyes, with the exception of Lee, who definitely knew that Naruto and Haku were both fully capable of doing way more than that. Sakura just pointed behind them on the highway from the middle seat, "Did that Haku girl just kill those two guys?"

Lee shrugged as he kept his eyes on the road, "Perhaps, although if she did I assure you that Haku-chan feels somewhat badly about it, although she has accepted death as a part of our lifestyle she does not like to kill when there are alternative options to fighting to the death."

Chouji had almost dropped his chips in the floor at the scene they had just seen, "Who cares about that? Naruto definitely killed his two guys! He just threw a guy off of a moving truck, and did you see him make that explosion on the other one? He didn't even flinch! And how did he jump from the roof of a moving vehicle onto another anyway?"

Lee smiled, "Training. Were you not fully aware that Naruto-kun can jump over fifteen feet in the air? Haku-chan can do the same as can I."

"No." Ino said abruptly, "But then again when we saw him fight Kiba he did jump kind of high in the air didn't he?" She said, actually accepting what had just occurred.

Sakura looked at her best friend, "Ino how can you just say it like it isn't a big deal? He made a copy of himself that _exploded_ on a human being. I think we swerved out of the way of a body part. Who can do things like that?" Everyone else in the car except for Sakura raised their hand, "What?"

Ino shrugged, "Yeah. I can do some things that other people can't do. Stuff with controlling your mind and body actually." Ino demonstrated by aiming her hands in an odd seal at Chouji before the boy lifted his hand and slapped Shikamaru in the back of the head, "Come on Sakura, why would people go out of their way to hire mercenaries if they were just like everyone else?"

Shikamaru rubbed where he was hit and yawned, "I can use my shadow to fight. It would be too troublesome to show you right now so just take my word for it."

Chouji popped open a new bag of chips, "I can enlarge parts of my body to fight with."

Rock Lee turned back and gave a sparkling smile to all of them, "I do not have any of the abilities that my youthful team or yourselves possess."

Sakura pointed at Lee as if he had just proven her point before his eyes blazed over, "I am out to prove that you do not need such powers and techniques to be a splendid mercenary as I will do such with only my own hands and feet! I am just as powerful as Haku-chan and Naruto-kun without the use of chakra."

"Chakra is real? I thought it was just something that the police knew about and could use, like Sasuke-kun, even though I've never seen it." Sakura asked, getting a nod from Lee.

Ino rolled her eyes, "Forehead you've seen it before today. Naruto and Kiba used it when they fought in school back then or did you think that drill thing Kiba did and Naruto switching places with a random log was all natural? Lee, eyes on the road!" She yelled as the SUV started drifting into another lane.

Shikamaru sighed, "Well if that's what Naruto is capable of I can see why he doesn't want to fight Kyuubi to prove a point. He didn't even look serious, he looked like he was having fun the entire time. If that's how he fights when he's messing around, how would he fight if she wouldn't take a simple spar as adequate enough?"

Sakura and Ino sweatdropped, "I didn't really consider that he had any ninjutsu that were really dangerous to use since all we saw him do against Kiba was that body-switching thing. Maybe he had the right idea to not fight her after all."

Shikamaru snorted, "And now you're acting like she's going to give him the option to decline at this point. By the time we get back she'll be a ticking time bomb and the only thing that will calm her down is either her tearing him apart or him beating his point into her head, both of which have terrible outcomes should either happen." Chouji nodded in agreement.

Sakura looked back at the lazy boy, "Aren't you being a little dramatic there Shikamaru? Why would she react like that to Naruto wanting to protect her? From what I've just seen there's a very good reason that he doesn't want her anywhere near this stuff."

"She doesn't see that." Shikamaru said, "She just thinks that he believes she can't defend herself and needs to be sheltered. The fact is; Sasuke is getting involved in some heavy stuff from what I can tell from what he had me do for him. Naruto is going to have Sasuke's back no matter what happens down the line, and he doesn't want Kyuubi anywhere near the situation, especially since he believes that neither he nor Sasuke are good enough to handle things if they really wind up getting Orochimaru's attention."

Chouji took a second to refrain from eating to ask a question, "But shouldn't Naruto trust her in this instance if she thinks that she's good enough to fight by his side? She should know how serious this is shouldn't she?"

Shikamaru sighed, "I'm getting tired of talking about other people's business. You just watched Naruto kill two people and simply move along, Kyuubi has never killed anyone before. He doesn't want her fighting to the death the way he does because at the level of the opponents that Naruto figures he and she are going to be facing it would be a terrible idea. It's that simple. It's still not going to stop her from trying to kick his ass when he gets back however."

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Uchiha Household)

"No Sasuke." Itachi said as he watched Sasuke's movements, "Counter. That's what our taijutsu is all about; analyze the combat style and habits of our enemies, anticipate their moves with the Sharingan and counter-attack accordingly."

"No shit!" Sasuke said as he ducked a slash of claws, "But how does that work necessarily when your opponent is just as fast as you-." He stopped talking in order to block a kick directed at his body, "-and is pissed off at your best friend, in addition to having some weird chakra thing around her body that is messing with my Sharingan?"

Itachi shrugged, "I don't know. I assumed you had an idea since you were the one that asked her to spar with you."

Sasuke snapped at his brother as he ducked out of the way of another slash the ripped the bark off of a tree, "Damn it aniki! I assumed I wasn't going to get my ass kicked if I asked her to spar with me instead of you and figured I needed a break from learning jutsu."

Itachi's impassive eyes stayed locked on the skirmish, "And how's that working out for you?"

"Not too well as you can see." Sasuke then yelled out in pain as he ended up getting slashed across his back, "Damn it Kyuubi back off already! Don't make set you on fire!" Sasuke sprung back onto his hands to give himself some space before rolling through hand seals.

"If you're going to do it then do it!" Kyuubi yelled as she opened her hands wide, "Because if you won't then I will! Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!" A blue flame formed in her palms that she threw out at Sasuke.

"Shit…" Sasuke placed his hand to his mouth, "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" Sasuke's single fireball collided with Kyuubi's two, forcing both of them backwards with the force of the two attacks colliding.

Sasuke landed on his feet, and slid backwards across the backyard. Kyuubi on the other hand, lost her footing and skimmed the surface of the lawn on her side, picking herself up when she saw that Sasuke was up and still standing. Feeling sore from the fall she had just taken and not really wanting to see exactly what he would have up his sleeve when he was on the attack, Kyuubi inhaled sharply as he rushed forward at her, "Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail)!"

She released her inhaled breath and shrieked at Sasuke who ended up losing his balance from the equilibrium destroying move. Itachi covered his ears with his hands but still clearly heard the sound all the way from where he was standing. Sasuke gritted his teeth on his knees while covering his ears as it felt as if his skull would split. He had to stop this before he blacked out… or went deaf. Whichever came first.

'Kami… this sucks so much… One chance I guess.' Sasuke painfully raised his head to look at Kyuubi and channeled his chakra to his eyes.

Kyuubi kept pumping power into her attack, knowing that enough of this would put even her or Naruto down for the count if nothing happened to break it. By the time she took notice of Sasuke raising his head to look at her it was too late. She had her eyes locked with his own for far too long as the spinning tomoe of his doujutsu took hold of her mind.

"Magen: Kasegui (Demonic Illusion: Shackling Stakes)." Sasuke said as Kyuubi found herself unable to move in an empty, dark red dimension.

Kyuubi tried her hardest to will her body to move, but found herself unable to do so, "With a name like that, you need to come up with something better than just freezing my body. What's so 'demonic' about this?" And right on cue a series of massive stakes impaled her arms and legs in each of her joints forcing her to scream out in unmitigated pain and anguish. With the passing of time as she tried to move herself, even more stakes hit her, piercing her through her sides, generally anywhere that would hold her in place.

Sasuke only let go of the technique after being shaken out of focus by Itachi, "Sasuke. I shouted for you to break the genjutsu three times already."

Sasuke simply stared at Itachi, "What?"

Itachi repeated himself, "I told you to break it three times. The fight is over."

Sasuke blinked his Sharingan off and looked over at Kyuubi before looking back at Itachi, "What?"

Itachi sighed and poked Sasuke in the forehead before walking over to Kyuubi, who had collapsed, breathing heavily and patting herself down, trying to touch her nonexistent wounds, "What the hell was that?"

Itachi helped the girl sit up straight, "That was a genjutsu. An illusionary technique. Generally speaking, Sasuke more or less got into your head and manipulated your mind to make you think whatever happened to you happened for real, your body believed that you were really in pain. My apologies for not ending it sooner when I knew you were caught." He turned back to Sasuke, "That is a victory for you otouto."

Sasuke simply looked at him, "…What?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow in confusion when Kyuubi spoke, "Um don't be too sorry, because he might be deaf right now."

"What?" Sasuke yelled as he cleaned out his ears with his fingers.

Itachi looked down at the red-haired girl, "I see. Will he be alright?"

Kyuubi nodded, "Oh yeah. As long as his ears weren't bleeding he'll get his hearing back in a few hours tops."

Itachi let out a sigh of relief, "Well that's good. I don't want to know what would happen to me if Sasuke were deafened for life when I was supposed to be training him."

"What?"

XxX

(I-17 en route to Takigakure no Sato – Rest Stop)

Naruto leaned against the motorcycle that Haku had commandeered, grinning widely as he looked at it from all sides, "I'm going to take you, and repaint you orange. It's going to be so badass… I'm going to get Tenten to trick you all out and put all kinds of fun weapons in you. You'll be the sweetest thing on the road, oh yes you will! And then we're going to have all the chicks trying to get a ride with us that wouldn't even look at me because I was an orphan, and I'll be like, 'Fuck you bitches, I got a girl.' And then me and Kyuubi-chan will ride off into the sunset!" He turned around upon noticing Haku staring at him, "With helmets of course…"

Haku sighed as she stood off to the side watching Naruto gush over the bike, "Why would you want to keep this thing? I had to kill someone to even get it in the first place."

Naruto kept looking at the bike in awe, "Yes that is very true, but _you_ aren't keeping it, I am, thus I have no mentally scarring reasons to get rid of this. Besides, Zabuza keeps the swag he gets when he kills people, and I've seen him with stuff way stupider than a motorcycle."

Haku crossed her arms over her chest, "Like what, for example?"

Naruto gave her a dry look, "Shake Weight."

Haku looked away in an embarrassed fashion, "It wasn't that stupid…"

Naruto kept his look on Haku, "Well then how about the Slap Chop, or the crate of Shamwows, or the Snuggie? Do I even have to go there? I swear to Kami I've seen him wear it before, at headquarters. It scared the living hell out of me. That corner of his office where he keeps all of his crap looks like he mugged an infomercial and violated a flea market."

"Okay!" Haku exclaimed, "Keep the motorcycle, but you'd better learn how to ride it the right way, and you'd seriously better be safe when you do it."

Naruto snickered, "That's what she said." He paled when he felt the killing intent flying off of Haku, "I was joking Haku-neechan, I'll be careful I promise."

"Dynamic Entry!" A green clad figure appeared out of nowhere, delivering a dropkick to the side of Naruto's head before he burst into smoke, replaced by a log.

"Lee!" Naruto yelled as he walked back over, "What the hell?"

Ino, Sakura, Chouji, and Shikamaru made their way over to the group, while Ino had to ask, "Seriously, where the hell did you get the log from?"

Naruto looked over at her, "Oh, that's easy." Naruto then pointed at a truck that had just pulled into the rest stop, hauling wood in the back of it.

Sakura looked at him in disbelief, "How in the world did you know it was there?"

Naruto placed his hands together and bowed his head, "I didn't. I simply knew the good log would provide for me, and lo and behold I found myself forsaken not, for the log be-ith good and just, and is always willing to protect those that find themselves at the moment unable to protect themselves." Naruto took a moment of silence before looking up at the truck they were escorting, "Okay, that attack on the truck was seriously random. What is in this thing that people would attack a truck on the highway to steal?"

Ino shrugged, "I don't know. Daddy's company ships a lot of things. We send out a little bit of everything."

Naruto nodded in understanding, "I see. Haku-neechan, pick the lock so we can see what's in it."

Haku frowned, "No. That's stupid, I'm not doing that. Why would I do that, what possible reason could you give me for going ahead and doing that? Besides, you aren't even in charge, I am."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Because I would like to know if we were transporting anthrax or what have you. Knowing what in the hell I'm putting my neck on the line for might make me a little more inclined to fight harder to make sure we don't lose it."

Lee spoke up, "Naruto-kun, in the contract it stated that we were not to look at the goods being transported by threat of contract termination. Didn't you read it?"

Naruto picked his ear, "No not really. I don't really ever read my contracts other than enough to get the general gist of them. Therefore I can keep plausible deniability in case I get in trouble for stuff like this or in case some kind of shit goes down."

"That's stupid, it's like you're just asking for something to happen." Sakura palmed her forehead, "How can someone so stupid have a job like this?"

Naruto looked over at her, "Because it doesn't require any kind of degree or credentials. I can be as stupid as I want to be as long as I can fight, and as you clearly saw I can do that quite well."

Haku frowned at him, "What about the times where violence won't solve your problems?"

Naruto smirked, "If violence doesn't work to solve your problems then you simply aren't using enough of it."

Haku shook her head, "I'm seriously making sure you get a proper psych exam once we finish this mission. There is something deeply wrong with you that I'm desperately missing and for the sake of you and the people around you I need to figure it out."

"Ooh ooh!" Ino shouted excitedly, "Let me do it! I want to be a psychiatrist when I graduate, and I'm sure my abilities can help with this."

Haku looked at the ecstatic girl for a moment, "Very well. Naruto-kun will work with you when he gets back to Konoha even if I have to force him to do so. Just not right now…" Haku said while sweatdropping and looking over at Naruto who was sitting on his motorcycle again, making motor noises while the other boys in the group watched, "Because I'm afraid of what you would find if you tried right now."

"Check out my happenin' hoopety!" Naruto yelled while standing one-legged on the side of the bike, actually getting a honk from a truck pulling into the rest stop, "Truckers respect my swag!"

Haku got a tick mark on her head, "Okay, everyone other than Naruto-kun get back in the car. I'm getting the trucker to get ready to leave again." Upon getting a series of disappointed 'awws' from the males she pulled senbon out of her kimono, "Get in the car or I will turn your backsides into pincushions!" Haku sighed contently as the space around Naruto's motorcycle cleared out and smiled pleasantly, "Well that worked."

XxX

(Six Hours Later)

"Naruto-kun stop acting an ass!" Haku yelled out the driver's window as Naruto sped by the car once again doing a long wheelie between lanes, "Damn it I knew he was going to do this all the way up the road. Why did I give him the motorcycle again?"

Shikamaru had a smirk on his face, "What part of you really believed that he wouldn't?"

Lee looked at Naruto pretty much weaving through traffic like a lunatic before turning around and going back towards the SUV… while staying on the same side as the highway, "Yosh! I must procure my own motor vehicle in order to exude my own youth much like Naruto-kun!"

Sakura shook her head as she saw him literally running circles around the mack truck, "Aren't there traffic laws out here?"

Haku sighed as she watched Naruto put his feet up over the front of the bike and leaned back on the seat, grinning back at them the entire way, "Not everywhere has a police force. Most places operate under general law. People handle their own business or hire mercenaries to do it for them. Only the really big cities like Konoha really have any form of law enforcement, why else would Yamanaka-san find the need to hire us if there were actually people that handle affairs like this? Naruto-kun get off of your front wheel! What do you even call that?"

"A stoppie." Shikamaru said, amused, "Where the hell did he learn how to do this stuff?"

Lee held a road map picked up at the rest stop in his hands, "Haku-chan the exit for Takigakure is coming up." Lee stuck his head out of the window, "Naruto-kun! The exit is coming up!"

Naruto put his bike down and slowed down to pull beside the SUV, "We're almost done with the mission huh?"

Haku glared at Naruto, "I would swing at you, but you would probably fall off of the bike and defeat the purpose of me hitting you."

Naruto grinned, "Oh don't be that way Haku-neechan. I'm just having some fun, this mission got boring after we beat those guys. I still want to know exactly what the hell is in this truck that got their attention though."

Just as he said that, a four door sedan sped in front of the SUV and threw something out the window that stuck directly to the doors. Naruto paled at that, "Oh that can't be good." He then sped up his bike to the passenger window that threw the object at the truck. He looked in to find a man with a remote detonator in his hand. Naruto narrowed his eyes and pulled his combat knife from his ankle, before stabbing the man through the window in the hand that held the device, forcing him to drop it to the floor.

The driver swerved to the right to bump into Naruto in an attempt to force him into the guard rail, but Naruto hit the brakes to drift back before the motion could be completed. Naruto sped back up over on the driver's side in an effort to stop the attack at the point of the source and noticed a girl with skin as tan as his own, orange eyes, and mint green spiky short hair with an orange clip. She wore a white mid-cut sleeveless shirt and a white mini-skirt. Upon her seeing Naruto alongside her car she winked at him and held up the detonator, hitting the button to blow the back doors of the truck wide open.

Naruto cursed to himself and pulled a kunai from his jacket pocket before throwing it at the inside of the truck to loosen up the ramp in the back to slide out onto the road. The sudden action forced the car to veer off to avoid careening into the back of the truck or flipping the car. Naruto took this moment to drive up the back of the ramp and get off of his bike to pull the ramp up and close the door, shutting himself inside.

Haku sped up and got directly behind the truck as the assailing car fell further and further back. She saw the safety barrels of the off-ramp coming up and smashed the SUV into a few of them, sending stagnant water flying into the air. Haku made a set of one handed hand-seals, "Sensatsu Suishou (Thousand Flying Water Needles of Death)!"

The water that had flown into the air hardened into needles and impaled themselves in the sides of the pursuing car, lining the sides in sharp ice needles and puncturing the tires as well as even hitting the engine itself. The car ran off of pure kinetic energy until it made it off of the off-ramp, stopping on the side of the road. The green haired girl and her allies climbed out of the car, all in one piece, but with a few sparse wounds as the truck and the SUV drove away.

Despite rubbing a wound on her left arm from the spikes she had a smile on her face, "Well at least now after getting that little look inside the truck we know for sure that we're going after the right thing this time."

XxX

Haku sighed in relief as she had wound up getting them all away from the attack on the truck, "Well that worked out for us after all didn't it?" She looked at the shut doors on the truck and smiled, "Quick thinking Naruto-kun. Way to handle the crisis."

Ino sat back in her seat, relieved that everything had worked out, "Thank goodness… What are these people doing after our shipment anyway? I've never seen my Dad's company get attacked so much before. We're just merchants."

Shikamaru had his hands held in a strange position in front of him, "Your dad has to be moving something seriously important if it's getting this much attention. These guys don't seem to want to quit. And I doubt it's over yet, it's never that easy for things like this."

Lee nodded, "But we are almost there. All we have to do is get the truck to the rendezvous point and our mission is complete. Hopefully we can outrun our most unyouthful assailants long enough to get to our destination." He looked back at Sakura and smiled brightly, "Do not fear however, my dear Sakura-chan. I will protect you with my life, rest assured."

Sakura cringed as she looked at his eyebrows, "Yeah, thanks… I guess."

Chouji simply stared at the truck, "Why hasn't Naruto come out yet? I thought for sure he would have gotten back on the motorcycle and started riding again the second the trouble passed."

XxX

Naruto simply stared ahead of him at the cargo of the truck with a twitching eye that clearly showed his irritation at the current situation, "You've got to be kidding me… This is what I'm protecting? This is what we've been getting attacked over for the last five hundred miles?"

Strapped tightly to the wall of the container was a plexi-glass case with a clear, gourd shaped container of water. Just water. Naruto started subconsciously leaking youki as he started puttering about the cargo area, "I don't know whether to laugh at the stupidity of this whole thing, or to break the fucking glass and drink this shit just to be an asshole about it."

He growled to himself and pulled at his hair, "I'M PROTECTING A TRUCKBED WITH A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER IN IT! WHAT THE HELL?" He stopped yelling and glared at the case closely, "All I have to say, is that this better be the single best goddamn bottle of water ever physically conceived on the face of the planet. I better jizz my pants, gain the ability to levitate, and speak to fish with one sip of this shit."

Naruto squinted to read the kanji on the case, "What the fuck is Hero's Water?"

* * *

**Chapter up. I'm getting over a rather annoying case of staph infection for those not in the know. I should be all good to go either tomorrow or Tuesday. Not much to say really, just enjoy yourselves, and give me some money. I've got a lot of things that require financial solving… like a bullshit parking ticket.**

**Kenchi out.**


	28. The Facilitators

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did then the main plot would currently make more sense than it does right now… because as it is I have to say that for the bad guys it is a total case of deus ex machine, plain and simple.

**Chapter 28: The Facilitators**

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Naruto simply sat inside of the truck, staring at the object he and his team had been transporting up to Takigakure, 'Drink it, or don't drink it… I don't know.' He pulled out his cell phone and texted out a message to Haku, telling her what he found in the truck.

After sending his message out he stood and stared up close as the plexi-glass casing one more time. He sighed to himself and his hand through his hair before leaning against the wall and slumping to the floor. At that point a vibration in his hand got him to pick his phone back up to his face to check his response text from Haku.

**Dnt drink the water! i will kill you!**

Naruto frowned and elbowed the wall as he placed his phone back in his pocket, "Damn it." He looked over at the Hero's Water and glared, "Of course I would be guarding a single bottle of water when I'm fucking trapped in a stuffy container." He smacked his lips and sighed, "I've got total cotton mouth right now…"

XxX

Haku shut her phone angrily and got back to driving, tossing the phone over to Lee, "If he makes us fail this mission because he's thirsty and can't wait a little bit longer to get something to drink then I'm going to turn him into a pincushion again."

Lee frowned, "I am sure that Naruto-kun would not do something like that Haku-chan, he is aware of our parameters. Right now I am more concerned about our assailants. Do you think that we have finally seen the last of them?"

Haku sighed and set her head against the steering wheel for a moment before calming herself, "I don't think so honestly. Even though the last time was harder than the first I can't believe that we've seen the last of the attacks on our person." She had a sulking look on her face, "Naruto-kun said that his missions are never really easy, even the simple details like this one should have been."

Sakura had a hold of the map, "Well we're almost there. The work is almost done, so if they want to make their move they'll have to do it soon." She closed the map, "And besides, Naruto is right there inside of the storage right? He should be good enough to keep them away from the package until you guys can finish the mission."

Ino slinked down in her seat, "So all my dad's shipments are getting attacked over is just a bottle of water? That's really lame." She sighed, "I thought it would be something valuable like a shipment of gold bullion, or conflict diamonds. Something actually worth some money, not a damn bottle of Aquafina."

"There's probably more to it than just a regular bottle of water Ino." Shikamaru insisted from the backseat, "And either way, it's none of our business. We should just get it to the storage facility and be done with it so we can go our own way."

Ino perked up, "Oh that's right, we have to sightsee after we're done here! Takigakure no Sato is supposed to be a beautiful city! I can't wait!"

Haku sweatdropped, "I'm starting to think that bringing these kids along isn't worth the bonus…" Groaning to herself she turned to the back, "Listen, talk about all of those things after we finish the mission and get the okay to head home. Until then this is company time and we're supposed to be working, just driving you all up here is going on extra expenses for the mission when it comes time for your father to pay."

Ino rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Business first, then we can have fun. You know you're a pretty uptight girl, you should lighten up some you know?"

Haku gave her a dry look from the rearview mirror, "I'm a trained human weapon originally adopted and raised for one thing only and that is to be a mercenary. I'm sorry that I'm not thinking about catching the sights or shopping or something along those lines… it's how I was brought up." She looked over at Lee, "Call Naruto-kun, make sure he's okay because he's been in there a while."

Lee nodded and rolled through Haku's contacts before finding Naruto and dialing his number. After a few seconds of waiting tone he got a response.

"_Hello."_

"Naruto-kun." Lee started, "Haku-chan has asked me to see if you are okay in the truck. You have been in there for quite a while even after you have already taken in the information on what we are here to protect."

"_Well… I can't really get out from the inside. Whatever that green-haired chick did to the truck I can't open the back from the inside so that means I'm stuck here for the time being. It's so boring in here… and it's stuffy. Can I really not drink the water?"_

"No!" Haku snapped loudly, "If you drink the water we'll fail you idiot!"

Naruto sounded dejected on the line, _"Well I wasn't going to scarf the whole bottle, I was just going to take a few sips so my tongue can stop mimicking a dead leaf."_

Lee put call on speaker so that everyone could hear, "Why would you want to drink that water anyway?"

Everyone held their ears when they heard Naruto yell back his response, _"Because it's stuffy in here! Because if I spit right now sand would come out! Because it's hot and I'm sweating like a fat guy in a sauna trying to defuse a bomb! Are those good enough reasons to be fucking thirsty right now? Ask smart questions damn it!"_

Shikamaru spoke up from the back seat, "He means why would you drink _that_ water? It's obviously not normal water so who knows what could happen if you take some?"

"_Pfft. What's the worst that can happen? It's water. The only thing it would do to me even if it was poisoned or something would probably be to make me puke in the worst case scenario. You guys are so timid. I'm drinking it."_

"No!" Everyone in the car yelled out over the phone.

Ino snatched the phone and shook her fist, not that Naruto could see it, as she spoke in a threatening tone, "Naruto you had better not touch that water. Obviously my dad's company is moving it for a reason and I'm not going to have you backwashing all in it when all you have to do is wait for us to get to the storage facility."

Silence reigned over the line for a moment, _"…So you're saying that I can't drink it or at least two of you will attempt to maim me once I get out of there? I see…"_ Even more silence came through, _"Well then how close are we? Damn… It's not like I can see from in here or anything."_

Sakura answered, "We're just about to enter the city limits in thirty minutes I would say. By then we'll be passing over the southern boundary bridge of the city and right now I can see the famous tree in the middle of the city from here."

"_Which would be a boundary for what?"_ He asked somewhat impatiently.

Sakura got a tick mark on her head, "A bridge connecting the massive waterfall and the outskirts of the city you dumbass! What the hell did you think it would be, a volcano? What does this village literally stand for? And can't you hear the water running towards the falls?"

"_Alright… damn. I don't pay attention in school, you know this. It never applied to me directly. No I can't hear, all I can hear is the truck engine. And what's so special about a tree? We have trees all over Konoha if you hadn't noticed."_

"Smartass…" Sakura growled before calming down, "Taki has a massive natural tree in the middle of the city that has been there since before its inception. What makes it special is that it is roughly three miles in circumference and over several miles high. Other than that, the city is situated in a valley surrounded by a waterfall that has bridges reaching out from them over to the higher lands of the outskirts of the city. They're actually very beautiful sights."

"_Well take me some pictures and send them to me because right now I don't care because I can't see, and I doubt I'll care later when I drain this city dry of its running water when I get out of here. This driver better get hustling already and get us there. Call me when we get there or if you need something from me. *click*"_

Lee turned the phone off of speaker and put it in the cup holder between him and Haku, "Do we have a plan of action Haku-chan?"

The girl frowned, "No not really Lee. The only thing we can do is what we've been doing; wait for another attempt on the cargo and do everything we can to protect it… no matter how disadvantageous a position it puts us at. The only real tactic we can employ is one that we did by accident; have Naruto-kun stay with the package on the inside as a last line of defense."

Lee gave her a thumbs up and a gleaming smile, "Do not worry about anything Haku-chan, we are more than enough to handle anything that comes our way!"

Haku gave him a tentative smile before returning her attention to the road, 'I hope you're right Lee, I just have a really bad feeling about this that I can't shake.'

XxX

(Konohagakure – Uchiha Main Household)

Dusk was beginning to settle over the landscape as the day started coming to a close. Sasuke was sprawled out on the grass, catching his breath from the rather harsh fight that he and his older brother had just finished and Sasuke had concluded that even when you end up landing a decent shot or two in a fight, it really doesn't make the asskicking that you end up taking from a superior opponent any less painful or humbling, and this particular beatdown had plenty of that in spades.

"Damn you Itachi-nii…" Sasuke groaned as he crawled towards a tree that Kyuubi ended up taking refuge in while the two had fought. Why she thought that using a tree for cover when there were two violent teenagers throwing fireballs at each other in a walled off backyard was a good idea no one could figure, "That better have been good enough to actually learn something now. I can't even walk back into the house."

Kyuubi rolled her eyes as Sasuke pulled himself up and sat against the trunk of the tree, "You got your ass kicked."

Sasuke glared up at her weakly, "I beat you earlier didn't I?"

Kyuubi jumped down from the branch she had been sitting in and grabbed Sasuke by his collar, getting a pained groan out of the boy as she lifted him up and held him against the tree, "Alright I'm tired of this. First Naruto-kun and now you. I've worked hard for my skills, and to have you two calling me weak as blatantly as you both have is insulting. You only beat me because I was unable to use my real power, otherwise you would be looking worse off than you did from your battle with Itachi. I kept it toned down for your benefit." She said sternly.

'That was toned down?' Sasuke thought to himself with a raised eyebrow visible on his face until painful shake from the deceptively strong teenage girl that had his hoisted off of the ground with one hand, "Alright then… I'm honestly getting sick of hearing you talk about it. I'm going to make you actually back it up."

Kyuubi looked at his beaten and bruised form skeptically, "And how exactly are you going to do that when you can't even walk back inside your house? I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back the way you are now."

Sasuke's eye twitched, "I still have enough chakra in me to set you on fire. And anyway I don't mean prove it by fighting me. Like I've repeatedly said, we don't think you're weak, but our criteria of how much stronger he and I are than you is based off of one real fact; that you've never been in a situation where your life was truly on the line. You've only gotten into a street fight once, and I doubt you even took a single hit in that one."

Kyuubi dropped him and let him slump back to the ground, "And how does that not say that I'm strong? Isn't not getting hit in a fight a good thing?"

"It is." Sasuke admitted as he slowly stood up, "But if you ever end up fighting Naruto or me for real, not that you ever will but let's just say we never met and you somehow ended up getting into a deathmatch with one of us; you'll get destroyed, because no matter what you do, no matter how long it takes, no matter how bad you beat us into the ground… eventually we're going to hit you, it's going to hurt like a motherfucker, and you won't know how to respond to it because you've never been in dire straits before."

Kyuubi's eyes widened, "Well what about you and Naruto?"

Sasuke snorted back a laugh, "Naruto got his ass kicked all the time when he was a kid, by teenagers and adults, just lowlifes because he was always around them and had a sense of justice but no skill to back it up with… right up until he discovered the internet and started ripping off fighting moves and training routines. I think he has his own room at the hospital because he used to be there so much."

Kyuubi remembered his relationship with Shizune and Rin, two doctors that worked at the hospital… and were mercenaries, but he probably found that out after they took a shine to him while he was in the hospital, which was why he seemed to be so hyped up for being one himself. Sighing in resignation she turned her red eyes to Sasuke, "Okay, but what about you?"

Sasuke gave her a dry look, "You mean an example other than the savage beatdown that I just took? Well fine then. Other than the times where I've sparred with Itachi and the matches with Naruto that got a bit out of hand, me and Naruto got into some trouble a long time ago, before either of us were really any good in a fight or before any of my training could be considered effective enough to beat adults."

"What happened?" Kyuubi asked.

Sasuke looked away, "Long story short, we were basically abducted and had the shit kicked out of us for two days straight, for what I don't know. Eventually I blacked out and I never saw the guy's face but Naruto did… he never told me who it was though. Itachi-nii found us both and slaughtered the guy and got us out of there. And that was what made me want to be a police officer, to make sure that I could stop things like that from happening myself. So yes, I have never been beaten worse than that and I know I never will again because I can fight back now." He sighed and started limping towards the house, "I got messed up… He broke my right orbital bone, beat both of my eyes swollen shut, broke my nose, and all of the fingers on one of my hands. Naruto got it worse."

She was almost afraid to ask, "W-What happened to him?"

Sasuke stopped at the back door to his house, "Well I know he got it way worse than me because I'm positive whoever it was beat on him way longer and way harder than me… because of the way that he would heal so fast, it was hard to give him any long lasting damage. By the end I couldn't even see like I said and was drifting in and out of consciousness, and he stopped messing with me, but not Naruto."

As he disappeared through the doorway he poked his head back outside, "Well come on. We're finding out what you're made of tonight. I need to speak to Itachi about this first." He then fully went into his house.

With that, Kyuubi simply stood outside against the tree as darkness fell with a frown on her face before she steeled her features and headed inside after Sasuke, "I'll show you both that I'm just as good as you Sasuke… Naruto-kun."

XxX

(With Naruto)

Naruto sat against the wall of the transport container with his eyes fluttering open and shut. He would probably be sleeping at this point were it not for the fact that every time he seemed to doze off the truck would take some sort of sharp turn and deposit him on the opposite side, usually upside down on his head.

He was now sticking to the wall with chakra because he was sick of rolling around like a dog trying to stand up in the back of a van. At least it was starting to cool down inside the container, that must mean that the sun was going down… man this was a long day trip. He was going to sleep like the dead the second he was given the okay to do so.

Were they in town yet? Seriously, how long did it take to get from the outskirts of town to wherever it was they were going? And what was with the bottle with the water in it?

Doing the only thing he really could at this time, he pulled out his phone and decided to use his phone to research whatever the 'Hero's Water' was. Luckily he was still able to get a signal from inside the truck and he proceeded to check out a search engine for his information. After a few minutes of simply sifting through the shit links that came up first he went deep enough into the results to pull up something from a little conspiracy page.

Reading over the results, he spoke out loud, "Hero's Water… Developed by Yamanaka Industries. First reported in leaked test sessions over 10 years ago during the short Konoha-Kumo conflict. In order to compensate for the loss of life of Konoha's military and martial power from the Nenshou Ha no Yoru (Night of the Burning Leaf) incident almost fifteen years ago an order was requested for scientists of the established company to develop something to give their forces an edge over the forces that outnumbered them at times five to one. Eventually the invention of Miltary Ration Pills met this quota, however further steps were made to comply with the request, eventually resulting in the infant development of Hero's Water. With the prototype version of the water the city was able to fight to a stand-still with Kumo and sign a non-aggression treaty to end hostility."

'So it's some kind of supplementary tool? Apparently it's a strong one too. But if Konoha ordered its development, why are we taking it to Taki at all? It doesn't really make sense.' He continued to read, "The finished product of water has been rumored to have recently been completed. The main ingredient of the current set is specialized drops of water from Takigakure's great tree. However the drops need to be studied and this current batch of Hero's Water still has not gone through final testing for usage… effects of the water's use include-."

He was prevented from reading any more when a sharp jerk of the truck propelled the phone from his hands, "Fuck!" Naruto made his way over to the phone and picked it back up before a sharp crash sent him flying against the opposite wall. He got up off of the floor, rubbing his head, "What in the world is going on out there?"

XxX

(Three Minutes Prior – Outside the truck)

"Wow!" Ino marveled at the view as they passed over the bridge connecting the massive waterfall surrounded city to the rest of the world, "It's absolutely beautiful!" She turned to the other occupants of the SUV, "We have to take a tour of the falls when we're done!"

Chouji nudged Shikamaru who was seated next to him in the back seat with his eyes closed, "How about it Shikamaru?" He got low grunt in response, forcing him to shrug in confusion to Ino.

Ino rolled her eyes and turned back towards the front, "Haku do you have any small money on you?"

Haku gave her a questioning look from the rear-view mirror, "Why do you ask?"

Ino pointed ahead, "Because we're coming up on a toll booth."

"Ooh, I have money on me!" Lee shouted as he reached into his spandex suit and pulled out a wallet, getting a few looks from the others in the car.

Sakura pointed at him lamely, "I certainly hope you're wearing something underneath that." Lee opened his mouth to answer when Sakura cut him off, "Actually, come to think of it I don't really want to know…"

As the SUV and the truck split off to separate lanes, as the truck was able to bypass the toll completely. As a negative thought formed in her head, Haku queued up in line to wait to pay and pass by, hoping that everything would work out and they could catch up. After about three cars had come and gone she was only one car away from getting through the toll when her eyes widened as she saw the truck driver running back down the highway and up to her car, "T-They took the truck!"

Haku bounced her head off of the steering wheel hard out of anger, "Damn it!" 'I knew this was going to happen!' She glared at the driver, "Why did you keep driving when you knew that we were stuck in line? We've already been attacked twice today and you're just going to go ahead? You aren't even on a deadline!"

Lee's eyes turned serious, "Haku-chan, we need to go now!"

Haku nodded and spared the driver one last glance as she dropped the toll into the case, "We'll come back after we secure the truck. Simply stay here." Getting a nod from the driver she took off as the gate lifted and sped off.

XxX

(With Naruto)

Naruto was getting pissed off at the fact that he had been getting thrown all over the container for the last two minutes and that he couldn't catch his phone to keep reading the internet page, he probably figured it was broken by now, which pissed him off highly. The cargo wasn't supposed to take any damage, but fuck that, the cargo was for all intents and purposes bolted to the wall and they never said anything about harming the transport, just the cargo itself. He was getting out of there, hell or high water.

Naruto channeled chakra to his feet and walked over to the back door of the container, channeling youki to his leg before shooting vicious front kicks at the door repeatedly, denting it deeply with each shot that landed. He felt the truck jerk, probably a conscious effort by the driver to get him to stop, yeah not happening.

"I'm. Getting. The fuck. Out. Right. Now!" Each word was accentuated with a hard kick that finally broke one of the doors open with the last one. Naruto shoved the door out of the way and climbed to the top of the truck, crouching on the roof and sticking with chakra as he looked about on the highway, "Where is everybody? Haku-chan lost the truck?"

Narrowing his eyes he turned towards the cabin and started walking towards it after pulling the large knife he kept from underneath his pant leg. He took the small hop from the truckbed onto the roof of the cabin and looked over into both side-view mirrors to see that the driver was the girl with green hair from earlier and the passenger next to her was a man with long brown hair, black eyes, a green shirt, and gray pants.

Naruto crouched down close to the top of the roof to keep from being seen, 'I should probably wait for a bit before I try anything… Two-on-one, especially in a situation, like this wouldn't be the smartest move I could make right now.' He simply laid the rest of his body down flat on the roof and placed his ear onto the metal, channeling chakra to his ear in an effort to listen in on anything he could get while he was waiting to make his move.

Inside, the two others had victorious looks on their faces. The girl driving turned to her passenger and grinned over at him, "Well we did it Shibuki. This is what you came for isn't it?"

The man, Shibuki nodded with a relieved look on his features, "Maybe now after this Kaisha Yuugure (Dusk Company) will finally find its way into higher recognition like the other companies are. Just like dad always said we could."

The girl giggled slightly, "Yeah, I mean if it was that easy to take the water from those Kaisha Hein guys then they're obviously overrated as far as skill goes."

Naruto's bared his teeth out of anger on the roof. The only thing that stopped him from stabbing his knife right through the roof, maybe taking out the arrogant girl's head in the process were two things; one, he was always hesitant to hurt a woman. Some kind of twisted chivalry that even getting his ass kicked by powerful women for the second half of his life couldn't quite cure. Two, If he did that and it killed her it might crash the truck, which had the potential to roll the truck, which would squash him like a blonde insect.

But where did the bitch get off saying that his company sucked? He was a rookie, Lee was a second year, Haku was the only real vet there and she was stuck babysitting for the most part because she was the leader. If Kakashi, Obito, Rin, Zabuza, or any of the real deal veterans were there then she and that timid sounding guy inside would already have their corpses tossed over the bridge into the water below. She obviously needed a crash course in who exactly she was dealing with, and the second he got an opening to do so Naruto would give her a refresher on that front.

A smidge of panic hit Naruto as they finally got all the way over the bridge that linked Takigakure to the outside world. The truck took the first off-ramp to get off of the highway and head down into town. Haku might lose them at this rate, he needed to slow them down, or at the very least leave a trail for her to pick up on.

BOOM

An explosion rocked the underside of the truck as the truck and the storage container uncoupled, sending the latter out of control on the small cliffside street of the city.

"Fuu, the container!" Shibuki shouted as he nearly jumped out of the speeding truck to do something.

Fuu grit her teeth and tried to turn the massive vehicle around quickly on the steep, hilled street she had chosen to take. She growled as she saw a familiar blonde figure atop the target of her company's attack.

Naruto had jumped from the cabin to the container the moment he realized that they had separated… and now he was riding down a hill, next to a steep drop that had a damn good chance of depositing him into the raging waters below. Not really the best idea, but the first rule of escort is to stay with the objective… no matter how suicidal it may seem.

Naruto channeled chakra to stay on and held on for dear life. He watched the truck almost whip around completely in a single turn, but instead of marveling at the girl's driving skill that he swore she had gotten from the racing game he played regularly with Itachi he let out a rather girlish scream, because the container he was riding on clipped the truck and careened off to the side, taking out a few cars before hitting the small barricade and flipping over it to take the sheer drop to the bottom of the bluff.

Fuu and Shibuki got out of the truck and rushed over as they saw the truck fall down the cliff. Shibuki frowned, "Well at least the guy that was trying to guard the cargo is dead. No one can survive a fall like that."

Fuu nodded in agreement, "Come on, back in the truck. We need to get down there and get the package and get to base so we can end this already."

XxX

Haku held a detonator in her hand while she drove with apprehension. She had planted charges on the truck at the last stop as a precautionary measure in case they had somehow lost it, but she never thought she would have had to actually blow them to keep the cargo out of enemy hands. She only hoped that Naruto was okay. Of course he was, there wasn't anyone out there that could take that kid down, Let alone a little explosion like the one she had set.

As she neared the first off-ramp at the end of the bridge she found a sleek black pick-up truck blocking it and holding up traffic, with a man sitting on top of it, a cocky smirk on his face. The man looked over the age of thirty and had long spiky black hair with a beige bandanna that kept the hair out of his face. He had a goatee and beady black eyes and wore a zipped up dark blue jacket and gray pants.

Upon seeing Haku come up upon his blockade he put his fingers to his mouth and let out a whistle, signaling the doors to the truck to open up to reveal three women in black op attire. One had neck length silver hair, another had shoulder length dark brown hair, and the last had neck length light brown hair.

Haku wanted to slam her head into the steering wheel again in exasperation but settled for a sigh, "Stopping here to fight these people is only going to help them get away with the water." Lee frowned at the look on Haku's face and unlocked the door before stepping out, getting her full attention, "Lee?"

Lee gave her a beaming smile, "You are right Haku-chan. Stopping here to fight will only hold up our efforts to regain the package. I will hold them off while you get past them and continue on ahead."

Shikamaru sighed and unlocked his own door before stepping out with his hands in his pockets, "As troublesome as it is I can't just let you fight by yourself. I'm with you if this is what we're getting into."

Chouji quickly followed after his best friend and got out as well, "I'm in too, I can't let Shikamaru fight on his own."

"Ino what are you doing?" Sakura asked in surprise as her blonde best friend stepped out of the SUV as well.

Ino flipped her ponytail back, "I can't just let those two idiots come out here and get into a fight over _my_ family's company goods on their own. They need me. You just stay here and go with Haku. It would probably be safer than staying here."

"But…" Sakura tried to reason, "If these people are anything like Naruto or Haku then you can't win. They aren't normal people, they'll kill you."

Ino let out a short laugh, "I would love to see them try. It's not like I don't know how to fight either. Daddy always thought that training me to defend myself would be cheaper and more reliable in the long run than just hiring bodyguards for me or something. I'll be fine Sakura."

Haku put an end to the conversation, "It is their own choice to stay and help Lee Sakura-san. They should know if they are able to handle this or not. We need to go ahead, Naruto-kun may need our help."

Sakura had a look of concern on her face before nodding and sitting back in resignation. She gave Ino a forced smile, "Good luck Ino, good luck everyone."

Lee gave Sakura the nice guy pose, "We cannot lose Sakura-chan. I promise that we will defeat our opponents and find a way to catch up with you quickly." With that the door to the SUV shut and the four teens prepared themselves to fight.

Chouji emptied the last of his bag of chips into his mouth and tossed the bag to the pavement as Shikamaru crouched down to think for a moment, "We need to buy enough time at least for Haku to get past the blockade by going along the wall."

"Allow me!" Lee stated. He jumped on top of all of the cars in traffic and rushed towards the enemy diversion, who all scattered at the sight of the speedy bowl-cut boy moving towards them. Lee didn't pay them any mind however and simply kicked the back side of the truck as hard as he could, sending it into a tailspin and clearing up the path. Lee looked back at Haku and gave her a thumbs up which elicited a grateful smile out of the girl.

Sakura watched the scene in shock, "Did he just move a ton with a kick?"

Haku nodded and put the SUV in gear, "Yes but that's not important. Hold on please Sakura-san." Before Sakura could ready herself, Haku ran up on the side of all of the cars that began trying to flow past traffic and passed them all, leaving her teammate and the teens under her responsibility behind.

The man in the bandana growled as Haku and Sakura got away, "That brat in green… I'll kill him myself."

The three women ran up to him from behind as the one with silver hair spoke, "Suien, what are going to do now?"

Suien turned to face them, "We're not letting any of these brats synch up with the others. We kill them all here girls."

That brought a dark smile to the silver-haired woman's face, "You heard him girls, let's tear these kids apart."

Suien pointed at Rock Lee, "Leave that one to me. He's mine. You can do what you want with the others however… but leave the girl alive if you can. She's Yamanaka's daughter, she'll be useful if things fall through and we can at the very least hold her hostage to get what we want. Now go."

The three women started to make their way over to Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji who were standing together in the street. Shikamaru groaned loudly and palmed his face, "Why do I have to fight girls? And not just one girl but three… so troublesome."

Ino smacked him on the back of the head, "Shut up and get ready for this Shikamaru, this is as serious as it's going to get."

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head as he watched the women walk around and jump over the unmoving cars separating them, "Yeah, yeah… I'm ready. How about you Chouji?"

The large teen looked at his two friends confidently, "You guys can count on me!"

Ino nodded and pointed at the women coming ever closer, "Alright then! Formation Ino-Shika-Cho, commence attack!"

XxX

"Ugh…" Naruto groaned as his body floated face up in a calm part of Taki's famous water system, "'Be a mercenary,' they told me. 'See the world. Be a legendary soldier of fortune.'" Naruto scoffed as a few wounds on his face and torso that were dripping blood down his face and body into the water staining it red healed quickly, "How glorious a lifestyle." He said sarcastically as the moonlight illuminated the water, "This is the second time I've been thrown off of a cliff in less than six months and while it was head and shoulders better than the last time it still sucked."

He turned to the side and saw that the container was half submerged into the water and half stuck out on a patch of land separating the water from the cliff he had just fallen from. The back of the truck was accessible from the land.

Naruto had survived the fall by pushing off of the falling shipping container and falling on his own, bouncing off of the cliff and slamming his body into the rough rocks, taking the minimum accumulated damage instead of simply taking the sheer drop and smacking the water (or patch of land) from a few hundred feet up, something he really didn't feel like pushing his luck with his healing factor with. After a while of falling down the side of the cliff to slow himself he bounced off and hit the water, taking far less damage than he would have otherwise.

The sound of rapid footsteps approaching forced Naruto to turn over and begin swimming back towards shore.

"Takigakure Ryu: Mizukiri no Yaiba (Hidden Waterfall Style: Watercutting Sword)!" Shibuki called out as a jagged blade of water formed in his hand. After a few swings of his sword he broke the glass container and held the Hero's Water in his hands, "This is it Fuu!"

Fuu patted him on the shoulder, "See? I knew we would get it. There's no way that guy survived that fall."

"With all due respect to you lady…" A voice said from the opening in the back of the container, "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." Naruto stood there, his face in a scowl with his arms crossed across his chest. He had discarded his bloody top shirt (He was starting to get tired of replacing those), leaving him in his pants and tanktop.

"Lady?" Fuu asked, "I'm no older than you kid!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Well right about now I would like to ask you to please drop the bottle of water and step away from it if you would. This has been a long day, and fighting really wasn't on my list of things to do to end it."

Shibuki tied the water to his waist, "Can't do that kid. My company needs this water to put us on par with all of the other companies out there. This stuff is supposed to be miles ahead of any supplementary boosts invented."

Fuu waved off Naruto's threat haughtily, "Besides, it's two on one. We'd have to be stupid to back down to one kid like you when we have the advantage, and look at you, there's no way you can put up any kind of reasonable fight as you are. Why don't you just leave and head on back to Konoha and your little Kaisha Hein before we have to maim you."

Naruto simply gave her a deadpan look, "Let me answer that with the following-." Naruto blurred from sight and reappeared behind them both. Fuu and Shibuki turned an about face in response in time for Naruto to slam Shibuki up against the wall with his forearm against his throat and kick Fuu out of the container.

Naruto held Shibuki against the wall as his water sword disappeared due to his own lack of oxygen. Naruto pulled the water from his waist and stared at it, "I still don't see what the big deal is about this stuff. It doesn't look very useful. Hell, I'll be Formula 50 Vitamin Water has a better kick than this crap probably has."

Shibuki strained against Naruto's forearm, "Hero's Water is as powerful as I say it is. Stronger than any soldier pill currently in existence."

Naruto shook his head, "Nah… Gatorade is better."

Shibuki gulped painfully, "Hero's Water."

Naruto had an amused smile on his face, "Gatorade re-hydrates you better. It tastes better too. _And_ it has electrolytes. Now I personally don't know what the fuck electrolytes are, but they sound provocative!"

Shibuki continued to struggle against the physical boy's hold on his throat, "It's just a marketing tool… Hero's Water."

Naruto grinned and spoke mockingly in a sing-song voice, "Ga~torade."

"*hack* Hero's Water..."

"Ga~~torade!"

"Hero's Water!" Shibuki roared. Impressive considering he was slowly being strangled.

Naruto put the bottle in his pocket and made a one handed seal for his favorite jutsu as four Kage Bunshin filled the container with identical grins, "Water sucks! It really, really sucks! Wa~ter sucks-!" Their singing was cut off as the container moved, "Uh boss? What the hell was that?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, go outside and check it out, and find out what the girl is doing. There's no way that just one of my kicks was enough to put her down." The clones saluted Naruto and headed outside.

Naruto dropped Shibuki who clutched at his throat on his knees, "Well I have to get out of here and find my team. Either that or find Yamanaka Industries so I can deliver this stuff myself." He stopped talking and widened his eyes at what his clones saw right before they were forcefully dispelled, "Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me…" As the container began to move and shake violently, Shibuki channeled chakra to his feet and as fast as he could to get out of the container and shut the doors to keep Naruto inside.

On the outside, Fuu was audibly straining as she somehow lifted the container out of the water with her bare hands. Shibuki landed next to her, "Do it now Fuu!" Fuu nodded and let out a cry of exertion as she threw the container as hard as she could at the cliff face. It flew fifty feet into the air and hit the cliff before it fell to the ground violently and rolled into the shallow water once more.

Fuu wiped her hands clean with a satisfied look on her face, "That should have killed him. He bounced around in there like a rag doll, his spine should be pulverized right about now."

Shibuki nodded and patted the green haired girl on the shoulder, "Let's get the water and get out of here already."

As they began to walk toward the container a loud pitiful groan rang out from within before the doors were booted off of the hinges. Naruto emerged, rubbing his head and nursing some new wounds on his person, "I only thought there was one woman in the entire world that could do that… and she's miles from here." Naruto looked between his determined opponents, "As fun as it would be to fight you it also wouldn't be smart so I'm out of here." He said as he channeled chakra to his feet and sprinted out on the top of the water.

Both Fuu and Shibuki immediately headed after him in hot pursuit, surprising Naruto that they were able to keep up, although at this point he should have ceased being surprised. Naruto turned and leapt into the air, making the tiger hand-seal, "Suiton: Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Release: Liquid Bullets)!" He shot off multiple water balls from his mouth at the two who dodged and closed the distance on him. Naruto quickly made a Kage Bunshin and used Kawarimi to dodge their combined attack that defeated the clone swiftly before they returned to chasing Naruto.

Naruto ran towards a cliff and jumped towards it. The second his feet made contact he created three Kage Bunshin that jumped off of the wall, springing at Fuu and Shibuki to keep them off of the real one as he ran up and tried to escape.

Shibuki created another water sword and cleaved through one of the clones while Fuu dispatched the tow she ended up fighting with swift taijutsu. The girl narrowed her eyes as she saw that Naruto was getting away, and in an effort to stop him she ran up to the wall and uncoiled a literal earth-shattering punch that almost obliterated the cliff wall and disrupted Naruto's footing, sending him falling back toward the water. Fuu ran up the wall and took advantage of the airborne and vulnerable Naruto with a brutal kick that sent him flying at a high speed further away, into rougher water.

Naruto bounced atop the water that was beginning to rage like a stone before sinking into it, being carried by the current. Fuu cursed to herself for kicking him so hard, "Shibuki let's go!" She landed down in the water and began to run in stride with Shibuki until a mass of ice needles rose from the water and surrounded them. Thinking quickly, the two split off, with Fuu continuing on while Shibuki turned to face whoever it was that had just attacked him.

Haku walked slowly atop the water in different clothing, speaking coolly "If I knew I was going to end up fighting an actual pitched battle like this I would have put this on far sooner." She now wore a blue kimono with a turtle-necked undershirt. Her hair was done up in a bun on her head with two bangs framing her face, but on her face however was a porcelain mask with two slit eye-holes, no mouth, and a slim red design coming from the right side across where the mouth should have been.

Shibuki simply stared her down, "This is an unnecessary battle. We don't have to fight."

Haku shook her head, her features obscured by the mask, "It is necessary. If one of us does not fight, our comrade will end up being double teamed by the other. The pursuit of either yourself or me has to end here and now."

Shibuki frowned as he realized she was right, "But that blonde kid that Fuu kicked. Even by himself he can't beat her. She's our company's secret weapon."

Haku giggled, not that Shibuki could see any humor in the situation or on her face, "Naruto-kun won't be beaten so easily. Eventually he'll get tired of running away and she and he will fight. And just so you know; I've heard people say the same thing about Naruto-kun as well."

Shibuki gripped the water sword in his hand, "I don't really want to fight you, I've never really liked it… but I'll do whatever I have to in order to gain prestige and strength for my company. For my father's dream."

Haku slowly drew a fist full of senbon, "I see. You also have someone who you would do anything for. Someone whose dream you would put your own life on the line to see come to fruition. You and I are not so different mercenary-san. And for my own precious people, I will not lose here. Prepare yourself."

XxX

Sakura stood at the edge of the cliff looking down with binoculars from the backpack that Naruto left in the SUV in hand. When Haku saw Naruto running down below she pulled the SUV over and got out to assist him quickly, leaving Sakura behind with the vehicle.

She gulped nervously as she watched Haku and Shibuki square off on top of the water. she turned even further off near the bottom of the massive falls to see Naruto staring down Fuu, both of them standing atop rocks near the base of the waterfall. Sakura groaned nervously, "How did I get myself involved in this? I'm way over my head here…"

XxX

Pink eyes stared into cold blue. Two tan skinned teens faced off against one another, although one's physical condition looked far better than the other, but in reality he had recovered from the attacks he had taken minutes ago.

Naruto took this time to take Fuu's appearance into consideration. He noticed that she had some weird red container on her back. Her pack maybe? She was actually a very good looking girl come to think of it, it was a damn shame he was going to have to wreck that beautiful body of hers in a few moments. Maybe they could have been friends if he wasn't to fight her here and now. Maybe even more than friends… like friends with benef-

'No!' Naruto quickly shook himself of those thoughts, fighting the urge to pummel the thoughts of doing naughty things with Fuu out of his head he was barely able to keep his composure, 'Get your head on straight you idiot! You have a girlfriend… a girlfriend that would _kill you_ if she knew you were thinking that. Besides, you're about to fight her. There's no time to marvel over how hot she is… damn she keeps herself in good shape though.' He shook his head as he caught himself staring at her body.

Fuu looked at Naruto amusedly. She was also fighting an urge; the urge to call him out on ogling her. Maybe she could take advantage of that in the coming fight, "Last chance to give me the water so we can all call it quits and go home."

Naruto gave her a challenging smirk, "Same option to you. Go on home and let me deliver this stuff so we can put all of this ugly business behind us."

Fuu laughed, "I can't really do that kid. You know my name, but I don't even know yours."

Naruto mock bowed to her, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. And the only reason I'm telling you this is because everyone is entitled to know just who is about to kick their ass." Naruto dropped into a ready stance.

"I agree." The green-haired girl said as she too fell into her own personal combat stance, "I'll make sure you never forget my name cutie… you'll think of it every time you chew a steak for the next two months after this."

"Ooh." Naruto said in fake intimidation, "Well come on and show me then." His blue eyes gleamed with the prospect of a good fight, and Fuu's pink orbs reciprocated the amusement.

* * *

**Chapter complete. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I love writing this particular story even thought the attention it gets pales in comparison to all of my others. I was salivating at the prospect of writing the upcoming fight scenes and I'll have plenty to do with all of them as you can tell. **

**I hope everyone is digging the story, and I hope you'll dig the fights coming up soon. Anything you have to say is always welcome and will pretty much always be taken into account, I look at everything.**

**Kenchi out. I've got to get up for an 8 am class in the morning. I haven't had breakfast in six months… come to think of it I haven't had a proper breakfast at all in almost ten years.**

**Whatever. Later.**


	29. How We Roll

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It's heartbreaking isn't it?

**Chapter 29: How We Roll**

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"Where the hell are we Sasuke?" Kyuubi asked, looking around the surroundings of herself and her fowl-haired companion.

Sasuke still had a significant limp, but now at least all of the cuts and bruises left on his face by Itachi had been tended to by his mother, "We're going to prove your little point by taking a little police matter into our own hands off the books if you know what I'm saying."

Kyuubi gave him a strange look as he took her through an abandoned part of the city. She hadn't seen an active street light in five blocks and the sight of boarded up windows was beginning to become more and more prevalent, "No I don't know what you're saying, if we're arresting them then it has to be on the books doesn't it? And again I have to ask; where the hell are we?"

The casual way that Sasuke walked (limped) down the street brought up that old adage of whistling through a graveyard, "We're in the sector of Konohagakure that was outright abandoned after the Nenshou Ha no Yoru (Night of the Burning Leaf) about fifteen years ago." He looked over and saw Kyuubi giving him the blankest look he had ever seen on her face, "Right… you assimilated so easily around here I forgot that you know next to jack shit about the actual history of the city… should thank Naruto for that."

Kyuubi's eyes hardened for a moment at the sound of her boyfriend's name before just like that it was gone, "So? What exactly happened? I don't want anyone to give me that stupid look you just gave me ever again for not knowing."

Sasuke shrugged, it sounded fair enough, "Fifteen years ago, massive riots broke out all over the place. It was a really bad scene. Dad always said that was the most afraid of the people around him he had ever been in his life, and Itachi was old enough to remember a lot of it… it even messed him up. A lot of people died, and to this day no one knows what the hell caused it in the first place."

Kyuubi looked around the desolate area as if she were taking it all in, "Well that explains why the smell of blood is so prevalent around here, it's making me dizzy. So what started it? Do you know?"

Sasuke shook his head and rubbed his neck as the action had aggravated his injuries from the fight with Itachi, "Nobody knows. It was just people fighting in the streets, pure pandemonium. By the time the whole thing was over with and done the last man that was running the city, Minato Namikaze, he was dead without a trace. That whole night was just one violent mystery."

A shiver went down Kyuubi's spine as the smell of blood mixed with Sasuke's story and irked her, "So you never told me what exactly you mean by doing this 'off the books'."

The two simply walked in silence, and this did nothing to assuage Kyuubi's fears and misgivings about this whole thing. Sasuke was never a spigot of riveting dialogue by any stretch of anyone's imagination, but Kyuubi had learned by now to understand when Sasuke was being particularly talkative or when he was shutting out the world. This was neither of those things, this was more like a focused, intent Sasuke.

Eventually he spoke up again, "You're going to kill them." He simply said as silence fell once more.

There was an uncomfortable silence generated by the disbelief of one half-demonic female and the utter apathy of the situation from the dark-haired police officer in training. Kyuubi looked over at Sasuke and away from him repeatedly as if he had misspoken, but she heard no correction of his statement. She eventually shook her head in doubt, "What the fu-."

"Listen up red." Sasuke said with total seriousness in his voice, "This is what we do. You think you're as strong as me or Naruto? You really want him to treat you like one of us instead of just as his girlfriend, like his true equal? You need to kill someone, you need to risk your life, you need to know what it is like for someone to be after you for your very being. Naruto's been keeping you safe, and that isn't good enough for you, you want to fight? Well it's time to see what you've got."

Sasuke shook his head and kept walking ahead of the girl as she stopped in place, "Kami… Naruto is going to try and kill me when he finds out what I did. He really didn't want you to get any more involved than you already were in stuff like this." He looked back at the motionless Kyuubi, "You know, backing out now would not only make absolute sure that you keep your sanity and whatever innocence you've got left, it would also make sure that your boyfriend doesn't try to kick my ass before I'm fully healed up when he comes back."

Kyuubi sped up and walked back in stride with the Uchiha confidently, "He won't because I won't let him. I'm not backing down either. I can handle it."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You'd better hope you can."

XxX

(Shikamaru/Ino/Chouji vs. Kaisha Yuugure Mercenaries)

"Well look what we have here girls." The silver haired apparent leader of the trio said haughtily as they drew closer through the stopped traffic, "It looks like that chick that was driving dropped off some tourists. Well we can show you around can't we girls? Locals like us know all of the best spots, right?"

The girl with the long brown hair nodded, "That's right Hisa. We know the perfect view of hell actually."

The other with the short brown hair chuckled and nodded, "We can send you there right now… if you'd like."

The leader, Hisa spoke once more, "Junko, Kiwa. Calm down. We need to keep the Yamanaka girl alive, the others are expendable though. Go nuts with them."

The other two pouted, "Come on Hisa. These brats won't be any fun so we'll have to make our own against them here. They all look so weak, I mean that Yamanaka girl looks like she'll snap in half if a good wind cuts through here."

Ino growled from where she had been standing with Chouji and Shikamaru, "That's it! I'm going in there and kicking their asses and I'll show them who looks like they'll snap!"

Shikamaru sighed, "Ino stifle, just wait. They look like a decent team so heading in half-cocked will just get us killed and you kidnapped."

Ino stomped her foot on the pavement, "To hell with that! It's time to show these hags who's really weak around here!"

Three tick marks appeared on the heads of the mercenary women before they took off running towards Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru, set on attacking and getting Ino in particular back for that 'hag' crack.

"For fuck's sake Ino…" Shikamaru grumbled as their attackers bared down on them forcing them to scatter, "So fucking troublesome." Shikamaru slipped the physical attacks of the silver haired leader as she looked to target him herself. Hisa came at Shikamaru with an axe kick that he barely dodged, though he did so with an air of indifference about getting hit or not. His hands were even in his pockets while he was doing so. She came at him with a shot towards his face that he slipped before pushing her back with his shoulder and staying on the retreat.

Hisa growled and came back in with a hard straight punch that Shikamaru ducked lowly under. However he had backed himself up against a car, a car that she slammed her fist into full power, leaving a significant dent in the vehicle. She pulled her hand back, hissing in pain as she nursed her maybe broken hand.

Shikamaru stared in a bored manner at Hisa, "You really don't want to do this. No… wait, that's me. I really don't want to do this. But Ino's not going to stop until this is over and Chouji is going to back her up no matter what so I guess it's up to me to keep them alive."

Hisa glared down at Shikamaru, "Shut up you punk!" She tried to kick him while he was low, but Shikamaru sprung on his back foot and back rolled over the top of the car before escaping the direct combat, "Get back here you coward!"

"Nikudan Sensha (Human Bullet Tank)!"

Hisa was forced to break off from her pursuit of Shikamaru when her own teammates passed by her, in the midst of fleeing from a massive rolling ball that was flattening vehicles as it chased after the three women.

The ball rolled to a stop next to Shikamaru who smirked as it transformed back into a very pleased looking Chouji. Shikamaru patted his friend on the shoulder, "Good work Chouji. Is Ino still alright?"

"Yeah, yeah you lazy bum I'm right here." Ino said as she walked up to both boys. She stood in between them and rested on both of their shoulders, "Now what were you saying about someone being weak?"

Hisa looked at the three kids angrily, "I stand by what I said. You're all weak!" All three girls pulled out a handful of shuriken and threw them at their opponents before rolling through hand-seals, "Gen'ei Tajuu Shuriken (Multiple Phantom Shuriken)!"

The several shuriken thrown by the women turned into fifty, forcing Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru to take cover behind a large van.

Ino covered her head as the loud noise of metal cutting into metal rang out around them all, "Damn it! Shikamaru do something!"

"Already on it Ino." Shikamaru said as he had his hands held in the rat seal, "Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Jutsu)." Shikamaru's shadow expanded from under his feet and raced out from behind the vehicle cover along the pavement towards the women who saw it coming and dodged in a pack, "Well at least they're attentive."

Ino scoffed, "Chouji if you would."

Chouji nodded and channeled chakra to his arms, "Bubun Baika no Jutsu (Partial Expansion Jutsu)!" Chouji's arm grew to twice its original size prompting him to open-handed slap the car with vicious strength at the three women who dodged, being forced to split up this time.

Hisa looked wide-eyed for a moment before getting her focus back, "What in the fuck? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Girls! Get back over to me now, we're finishing this!" The women all assembled next to each other and made three hand-seals before inhaling deeply.

Shikamaru peered over the van and groaned when he saw this, "We need to move now! Go!" The trio of Konoha teens began running further down the highway, away from the cluttered warzone they had created throughout their short battle, "Get behind something!"

"Katon: Renkeijutsu: Karura (Fire Release: Co-operation Jutsu: Garuda)!" All three girls blew out a long stream of fire that combined and formed a giant dragon that ripped across the highway at its intended target. Everything caught in the wave of flame instantly set ablaze.

"Damn it." Ino said as the flaming dragon came closer, "We can't die like this can we?" She asked somewhat fearfully.

Shikamaru looked around the area, his eyes stopping on something that could help them get out of their situation, "There! Duck behind the gravel truck!" Shikamaru dragged Ino by her arm as Chouji followed closely behind.

The three mercenary women smirked at the flaming wrecked freeway as smoke billowed into the air. One of the brown haired women wiped their hands off, "Well that's that."

Hisa nodded with a scowl, "We didn't get the Yamanaka girl though. Oh well, it was more of a contingency plan really. We'll just have to mark it up as collateral damage." She paused and looked around with a sneer, "More collateral damage that is. Come on let's go."

Hisa and one of her comrades began to leave, but the last woman stayed behind, prompting the others to call out to her, "Kiwa, I said let's go. What's the matter with you?"

Kiwa's head was down before she slowly looked up with a smirk on her face, "Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind-Body Switch Jutsu). Success."

Hisa looked at her strangely acting partner as she and her other associate walked closer to examine her, "Did that fat kid hit you in the head or something while we were fighting?"

"I'm not fat!" Chouji roared as he popped up from behind nearby cover, seething.

"Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Jutsu), success." Shikamaru said as he walked out from the exact same cover, holding his hands in the rat seal, "Good work keeping them occupied Ino. You can leave her body now."

Ino winked at Shikamaru in Kiwa's body before cancelling her technique and popping up in her actual body a few feet down the road from behind a car, "Can we finish this now? I'm filthy from being on the ground."

Shikamaru chuckled, "Sure thing Ino, you heard her Chouji. Go ahead and end this."

Chouji smirked, "Bubun Baika no Jutsu (Partial Expansion Jutsu)! I'll show you who's fat! Eat this!" Choji made his hands into a double hammer-fist and spun around rapidly in a circle before batting the three women high into the air and off of the bridge.

Shikamaru sighed and sat down on the pavement, "Finally, we're done."

Ino kicked at his downed form, "What the hell do you think you're doing? We need to get going!"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her, "Go where exactly? If you haven't noticed we don't have a ride, we can't hotwire a car, and even if we could there's nothing here suitable to drive. We destroyed everything. All we can do is wait for someone to get us."

"Aww." Ino moaned as she sank to the ground, "I wanted to see Takigakure…"

XxX

(Rock Lee vs. Suien)

Suien smirked cruelly at Lee who stood in his taijutsu stance with a firm look on his face, "They sent a bunch of baby-faced brats like you and your friends to protect the shipment that they knew was going to be attacked." He let out a laugh, "Yamanaka must be too cheap to pay for any legit mercenaries huh?"

Lee simply stood in place, "I can assure you that myself, Haku-chan, and Naruto-kun are more than enough for this mission. Our age has nothing to do with our talent."

"You can be as talented as you want to be kid." Suien started, "You're still going to be dead!" He then rushed at Lee and launched a punch at him.

Lee simply pushed the point of his fist down to throw him off-balance and spun around on his back foot swiftly to initiate a powerful sweep, "Konoha Senpuu (Leaf Whirlwind)!" The momentum of the sweep sent Suien spinning on the ground into the barrier of the bridge, hitting his head roughly against the concrete, "I must ask you to please surrender and allow us to complete our mission."

Suien stood up and shook off the cobwebs, "There's no way I'm going to lose to a punk kid like you. I'll never be able to live this down if I have to go back to base and say that some weird brat with huge eyebrows and a green spandex suit kicked my ass."

"Very well then." Lee said before rushing at Suien far faster than he expected. He ended up eating the first punch that knocked him to the side, but he quickly recovered, dodging a Rock Lee ax kick that he transitioned into a spinning back fist that caught Suien flush and forced him to spit blood from his split lip. Lee kicked him in the body and continued mercilessly battering Suien down before sending him to the ground with one final flurry.

Suien clutched his body and slid away on his back, glaring at Lee who just stood back in his Gouken stance. He quickly rolled to his feet and made a tiger hand-seal, "Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Jutsu)!" Seven clones of Suien formed from the water far down below the bridge on the street and stood in front of him, "We'll see how you handle more than one of me." With that, the clones rushed to encircle Lee who had a smile on his face.

One from his blindspot came in to attack, but Lee simply moved his head out of the trajectory of the attack and elbowed it in the face, forcing it to turn into a puddle of water. Two more clones attacked from his front, but this time Lee slapped one punch out of the way and followed through with his momentum to kick the other in the body, turning it to a puddle as well. He then set himself in his usual posture after finishing off the last clone with a backfist.

Suien watched as Lee hadn't even moved from where he stood to beat half of his Mizu Bunshin. Lee sent a pinging smile Suien's way, "My comrade Naruto-kun uses clones as well. He's faster than you, stronger than you, and he makes far more of them than you do. You cannot defeat me in such a manner." Lee jumped into the air and finished off the last of the clones when they attacked with a spinning tornado kick.

Suein growled in anger, "I'm getting beaten down by some kid! And he isn't even using any jutsu!"

"That's because I cannot use any nin- or genjutsu. All I have is my taijutsu, but that is all that I have ever required to excel. I will make myself an elite mercenary with nothing more than my hand-to-hand skills!" Lee shouted exuberantly.

"A loser like you won't be good for anything but fertilizer when I'm done with you!" Suien said as he formed a sword made of water from the puddles left by his defeated clones, "Die!"

He took a swipe at Lee's head that the bowl-cut boy ducked before planting a kick right on his chin, sending him high into the air. Suien cringed at the feeling of Lee's boot catching him right under the chin, 'This brat is really giving it to me. Who is this kid?' His attention was diverted when he sensed a presence directly below his floating body.

"Kage Buyou (Shadow of the Dancing Leaf." Lee said as he hovered directly below Suien, seemingly in the man's shadow and following his trajectory, "Now it is time that I end this." Lee loosened the wrappings on his hands and snaked them tightly around his opponent.

Suien began to panic as his body was completely ensnared, "What are you doing?"

Lee grabbed on to Suien tightly, "I already said it; I'm ending this." Lee turned them both upside down and began to spin rapidly as they approached the ground, "Omote Renge (Front Lotus)!" Lee plowed Himself and Suien upside-down headfirst into the pavement, leaving a crater.

The lifeless look on Suien's face went appropriately with the unnatural angle his neck and body were bent at. Lee stood and dusted himself off before offering a silent prayer to Suien, "I apologize for resorting to opening the first of the Hachimon (Eight Inner Gates) so swiftly, but my comrades will be in need of my assistance and I cannot afford to be slow."

With that being over with and done, Lee attempted to shrug off the fatigue beginning to set in from him opening one of the inner gates and set out to find Chouji, Ino, and Shikamaru and get them moving.

XxX

(Haku vs. Shibuki)

Haku immediately threw a handful of senbon at Shibuki who blocked them with his water sword before running across the surface of their watery battlefield to begin his own assault with his blade. After dodging a few swipes, Haku parried with a surprisingly strong senbon.

Shibuki pushed down on Haku's senbon harshly, beginning to overpower her, "How long do you think that needle will hold out before it shatters?"

Haku's expression was completely unreadable through her mask, "It doesn't matter, this is all the time that I need because I have one very distinct advantage over you mercenary-san." Haku raised her free hand and began making hand-seals, "I could hazard a guess that you can't do this, Sensatsu Suishou (Thousand Flying Water Needles of Death)!" Haku stomped her foot, splashing up water that solidified around herself and Shibuki in the form of countless needles of ice.

Haku moved aside in the blink of an eye as the needles rushed towards Shibuki swiftly. Shibuki made three hand seals as fast as he humanly could, "Suiton: Suijinheki (Water Release: Water Encampment Wall)!" The water under Shibuki's feet rose up around him in a protective wall that blocked the deadly needles from finishing him off.

The wall fell to reveal that Shibuki was nowhere in sight. Haku simply stood in place looking around before making a few more hand-seals, "Hyouton: Hyoushou no Sousaku (Ice Release: Ice Floor Creation)."

The water beneath Haku's feet turned to ice and steadily expanded outward just as a loud thud sounded out underneath her feet, signifying something hitting the ice. After a moment, Shibuki emerged from the water, landing on the ever expanding ice, "You have a kekkei genkai?"

Haku nodded, "Yes. And it is perfect in this environment. I can use my element to its full extent and neutralize your suiton ninjutsu."

Shibuki shook his head, "I won't believe that. You're bluffing. Someone as young as you couldn't possibly be that proficient with a nature-type elemental kekkei genkai."

"Believe what you want to." Haku said coolly, "It won't make any difference once you see it for yourself." Haku flashed through a few hand-seals and placed one palm on the ground, "Hyouton: Kowareyasui Koori (Ice Release: Fragile Ice)."

The ice underneath Shibuki's feet gave way, forcing him to jump aside lest he find himself dropped under the water again. He took advantage of the momentary opening towards the actual water to attempt another jutsu, "Suiton: Mizu no Muchi (Water Release: Whip of Water)!" The water from the open hole in Haku's ice field went right into Shibuki's hands to form two separate whips before sealing shut again at Haku's discretion.

Haku ducked one of the shots from one of the long whips and jumped out of the way of a second savage lash. Shibuki gritted his teeth in effort as he tried to hit Haku, however she was extremely fast. Far faster than anyone he had ever fought before and the way she moved across the ice under her feet was like she wasn't even running on ice. He couldn't even tell if she was using chakra to stick properly or not.

Haku threw more senbon at Shibuki without warning, forcing him to roll out of the way before he lashed out at Haku's legs with his whips in an effort to take out her bread and butter, her speed, or at the very least force her into a mistake in an attempt to dodge.

Haku dashed from point to point before anything could make solid contact with her, though one of the attacks did cut into the thigh of her pants, giving her a wakeup call to pay more attention to dodging better lest she end up actually taking a hit.

The force of the whip strikes were cutting into the ice covering the surface of the water however, showing how much damage a landed hit could do to Haku's body should any of them touch her. Over time Shibuki's aim got better and better as Haku actually heard and felt the air split past her head as she narrowly avoided another one, having to turn her head to avoid getting it taken off. This little distraction enabled Shibuki to use his other whip to wrap around Haku's arm.

"This is it!" Shibuki shouted as he discarded the other water whip and clutched onto his single one with both hands to pull on it sharply.

As fast as she was, Haku wasn't very strong. Despite who her adopted father was, she actually despised taijutsu or any kind of direct combat, something that her usual sparring partner Naruto learned early on, leading her to pepper him with senbon from a distance to keep him away, which lead to the 'senbon incident', but the point is, Haku relied on speed and misdirection to win fights. She was far more finesse than brute strength and was never going to overpower anyone she fought, and this is why she cursed inwardly when she found herself ripped off of her feet and dragged across the icy surface towards Shibuki.

Shibuki turned and snapped the whip over his shoulder, bringing Haku with it at the end of it. Haku's body bounced off of the ice cruelly before she found herself dragged again and whipped back over top of Shibuki again for another slam to the surface. After a moment of simply her body laying on the frozen ground she found herself dragged again, except this time it was in a circle. Shibuki this time was spinning Haku around in a circle before letting go, sending her flying into the wall of the valley that they were fighting in, chipping off some rocks before falling back to the frozen water.

Shibuki was hunched over on his knees, breathing heavily after letting loose the intense barrage of offense that he had finally caught Haku with. He looked over at the unmoving girl and shook his head in pity, "It's for my father's company… I'm sorry mercenary-chan." He began to walk away and head towards the area where Naruto and Fuu had taken off to.

"Don't be sorry…" Haku said as she shakily stood up. She lifted her head to show that her mask had fallen from her face, blood trickled from her mouth staining her light skin, "However I cannot let you pursue Naruto-kun and allow you to make his fight harder than it already will be. Your opponent is still me, we are not through here yet."

Shibuki sighed, "As you wish." He cracked his knuckles as he strode his way back into fighting range, "You're a mess though, I would surrender if I were you."

Haku said nothing and placed her hand onto the ground, cracking the ice and segmenting the part that Shibuki was standing on to a decent sized island before making more hand-seals, "Makyou Hyoushou (Demonic Crystal Ice Mirrors)." Ice rose up from the water around the island of ice that Haku had isolated Shibuki on and formed a dome of mirrors surrounding him.

A bead of sweat rolled down Shibuki's face as his breath became visible inside of the dome of ice mirrors, "This really isn't looking too good anymore."

"You're definitely right about that." Haku said as her reflection appeared in all of the mirrors, "Now mercenary-san… _I'm sorry_." Haku then bombarded him with senbon from seemingly all sides.

XxX

(Naruto vs. Fuu)

Both Naruto and Fuu flew across the surface of the water at one another, clashing against one another and bouncing off a few times before breaking off and staring out at each other, set in their stances once again.

Fuu looked at Naruto's stance curiously, "You don't fight the way your stance dictates you should. It's like you're doing moves from a style while standing in the stance of another."

Naruto chuckled, "That's because if you've noticed it that easily I probably am. Who needs formal training when you can just pick up what you need from watching and work it out yourself. Fuck Sharingan I've got trial and error on my side. But what about you? You fight like a dude."

Fuu had a sweatdrop on her head, "Wow… you sure seem like the kind of guy the ladies just flock to with complements like that." Fuu cracked her knuckles, "Well since apparently I fight like a guy I guess I should just go ahead and knock your block off." Fuu rushed right back in against Naruto and launched a straight punch.

Naruto came forward and met her punch with one of his own, colliding his right fist against hers. Fuu had a smirk on her face while Naruto's face was cringing in pain. Fuu took advantage of Naruto's discomfort and grabbed his jacket collar. Naruto recovered quickly enough and slipped out of it, leaving the orange article of clothing in Fuu's grip and kicking her away to get space.

Naruto shook out his right arm and flexed his hand experimentally, "What brute strength. I think you broke my hand with one punch. Kami, right off of the bat just like that? This fight is going to suck." Naruto dipped his right hand in the cool water and hissed before pulling it out a few seconds later, shaking the water off of it.

"Right." Naruto said, flinching as he formed his favorite single hand-seal painfully, "I'm not getting in close with you until I know what I'm dealing with, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" Thirty clones appeared on both sides of Naruto facing down Fuu.

The green-haired girl giggled at the sight of all of the clones, "Well won't this be fun? Let's see what you've got blondie!"

With that the clones came in to attack Fuu. She dispelled the first few that attacked her with quick, hard punches before finally being forced back by the others who began coordinating their attacks. The jumbled, yet somehow harmonized assault of the Kage Bunshin didn't take long to begin wearing on her nerves, "Suiton: Suigadan (Water Release: Water Fang Bullet)!"

A myriad of sharpened spiraling water columns arose on the watery battlefield and speared through the Kage Bunshin, dispelling them all and leaving her and Naruto alone once more.

So as far as Naruto was concerned, he couldn't win a battle of attrition against her by getting in close and beating her up since her strength was monstrous, simply blocking her attacks could shatter his forearms in the process. That left distance fighting, something he wasn't really very good at when compared to the alternative. He didn't have many ranged attacks, and without the threat of him closing the distance and beating the crud out of her he wasn't going to easily make an opening with which to attack her, not only that but she had displayed suiton ninjutsu, and they were surrounded by water, that was a major disadvantage for him.

"Not coming to me are you?" Fuu asked while making hand-seals, "Well I'm coming to you, Suiton: Nami Norito (Water Release: Wave Rider)!" A wave rose under her feet and carried her quickly towards Naruto.

Naruto growled and jumped towards Fuu to kick her off of the wave but Fuu simply blocked his kick when it reached her and canceled her jutsu as its only purpose was to safely get her close to Naruto again. Naruto winged an overhand right at her that she blocked before dropping her shoulder and slamming it into Naruto's face and upper body, causing him to see stars for a moment before letting loose a rising kick that took Naruto off of his feet and sent him flying. Naruto skipped off of the surface of the water like a stone a few times before rolling through for a recovery, rubbing the dark red mark under his chin where Fuu hit him with the kick.

He was immediately forced on the defensive once more as Fuu followed his trajectory after the kick to press her advantage, and press she did by letting loose an onslaught of heavy attacks. The long swinging punches and kicks by Fuu were mostly telegraphed, but Naruto still had to dodge them cleanly since even a glancing shot could feel like a haymaker from this girl.

Naruto stopped the swing of one of her punches by stepping in and using his forearm to jam the inside of her elbow mid-swing. He used his other arm to quickly pop her in the face with his elbow before capitalizing and shooting off a hard side kick to her face that hit her flush and sent her stumbling back but didn't knock her down.

Naruto jumped at her with the intent to unleash a spin kick but Fuu got sick of playing around and simply charged Naruto, catching him over her shoulder and plowing him into the side of the waterfall, sending spray of water and debris of rock flying.

Fuu jumped back from where she plowed Naruto into the side of the cliff and moved her wet hair out of her face with a smirk, "Well at the very least your spine should be in three different segment to say nothing about your face. I bet you aren't so cute anymore huh?"

Naruto fell from where he was stuck to the cracked wall and into the water, rolling himself over so that he didn't drown, "I'm so glad you think I'm cute…" He pulled himself out of the water onto a rock that was at the base of the waterfall, "But I'm not done yet dear." Naruto's eyes became red and slitted as his canines became more pronounced, "We're just getting started."

Instead of looking at Naruto in wonder, or what he would rather have had, fear, Fuu smirked and began to laugh again, "This is really interesting. I was right about you, you're a really intriguing guy Naruto."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her reaction. He knew his very base presence when using his youki was malevolence, so why was she not at the very least startled by his presence? And then he saw her pink eyes glow as a familiar, yet different aura came over him. When had he felt this before? Oh yeah, when he had been… fighting Gaara.

Naruto slumped his shoulders and stared as a pink shroud of energy surrounded Fuu's body, "Fuck." Well at least she wasn't a ten story monster hell-bent on ripping his head off for kicks…

Yet.

"You survived round one, but how about round two!" Fuu shouted as she nearly vanished from Naruto's sight to begin beating on him once more. The demonic blonde was able to keep pace with her after his boost of youki and dodge accordingly because taking a punch from her normally nearly broke him in half, he sure as hell didn't want to test how fast he could recover if he took a hit from her when she was pumped up with her demon side.

Naruto dodged a punch and retaliated with a swipe of his lengthened nails that more resembled claws now. The swipe cut into her white top but otherwise avoided her altogether. Naruto grit his teeth, as ever since Fuu had been engaging him up close he had been attempting to throw her off by using Chuuou no Hizumi (Center of Distortion), the most subtle move he had in his arsenal. He had been multitasking by making sure he didn't eat any haymakers from her as well as steadily pumping out and molding his chakra for his technique, but she wasn't taking on any adverse effects. She hadn't stumbled, outright missed him by a mile, or even looked as if she wasn't sure what was happening. With her own demonic powers she must have been immune to any kind of non-physical demonic jutsu, especially since all Chuuou no Hizumi was in theory was an outflux of directed demonic energy, it probably wouldn't work on anyone that had active demonic power of their own.

Naruto canceled the technique, as all he was doing was essentially wasting his powers on a worthless cause and focused fully on the fight at hand with his increasingly dangerous female adversary. Naruto's claws glowed red as he wound back his arms, "Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" Naruto sent out two cutting waves of red demonic energy at Fuu.

The mint-haired girl leapt directly over the angry red energy blades that cut through the water past her and into the cliff at the opposite side of the valley. She attempted an axe kick on Naruto that he dodged. Upon missing, the leg she attempted the attack with ended up submerged underwater due to the force of the attack negating her ability to water-walk.

Naruto moved quickly and threw a single punch with everything he had behind it, intent on finishing Fuu off and ending the fight by knockout. Fuu caught Naruto's fist in one hand with a smirk on her face, "Sucker." Naruto grit his teeth and threw a roundhouse kick with his opposite leg to the body that ended up sticking fast to her, " I did that on purpose so you would get close to me."

Fuu drew back her fist and punched Naruto right in the face, but while physics told his body to fly off of her fist into the distance, his face stuck to her fist until she drew it back again and gave him another brain tenderizing shot. Fuu gave him five more punches of a similar nature before his legs gave out and he fell, only staying above the water due to his sticking to Fuu.

"This is one of my special techniques Mr. Feral. My Kabutomushi Nenchaku-eki (Sticky Beetle Fluid) lets me stick to anything with simple contact with my skin. You aren't going anywhere until I say so, so get comfortable sweetie, because as long as you're still conscious I'm not letting you go." Fuu said far too sweetly for the intent of what she was about to do, i.e. beat the shit out of Naruto until he was a fine red paste on her fist.

Fuu's words came to Naruto in a muffled manner. He was quite obviously concussed from the blunt impact of the girls strength, but had no time to run a system's check on himself as he found himself drawn back to a standing position when Fuu let his leg drop upon yanking him up, though this was just to properly draw him in and hit him full force with a low sweeping elbow strike to his body.

Naruto spit out blood, but was confident that if he hadn't gotten his head back on straight and accessed Kitsune no Hifu Koka (Fox Skin Hardening) he might have found himself ripped in half, instead, all he took was the blunt damage of her elbow strike to his body that he swore broke a few ribs on contact.

Naruto grabbed Fuu weakly by the hair and pushed her head down while raising his knee, catching her right in the face. Her head snapped back violently before her face turned to one of pure anger as blood from her forehead ran down her face. Fuu shoved him off and drew him back as hard as she could as she cocked her fist back and shouted while drilling Naruto in the face.

Upon making contact he burst into smoke and splinters of wood flew from her punch. Fuu blinked in confusion before a sharp pain hit her in the back of the head and sent her flying into the waterfall, making a significantly smaller crater than the one she had made using Naruto's body, but a crater nonetheless. Fuu pulled her drenched form out and glared over at Naruto, "How did you get out of that? I had a firm grip on you."

Naruto had a shit eating grin on his face, "Kawarimi."

Fuu's eyes widened, "With what? There's nothing around here to switch with."

Naruto's grin fell as he scratched his head, "You know, I don't know. I just felt the pull to do it out of instinct when you left my hand free and it brought me over here."

SPLASH

Both Fuu and Naruto looked and saw a log splash into the water. Actually once they started paying attention they saw that there were half a dozen logs in the water.

SPLASH

Naruto looked up at the top of the cliff and saw a familiar head of pink-hair wave down to him and give him a thumbs up and a tentative smile. A grin crossed his face, "Sakura-chan I think I love you!"

Fuu almost face-faulted into the water, "Where the hell did she get the logs from?"

Naruto smirked, "I always keep a stash of logs in any vehicle I travel in. You never know when you need to switch with something to save your life." Much to Naruto's amusement, Fuu was fuming at his little out, "It's a really useful jutsu to learn. You _did_ take the time to learn that move, didn't you?"

Fuu had not.

She had focused on developing her ninjutsu, her demonic power, and coming up with ways to use her massive physical strength. Learning what many had called a basic jutsu like Kawarimi, despite being a commonly seen and utilized technique for many young mercenaries was not really a priority for youths that wanted powerful moves fast.

Taking advantage of the lull in combat, Naruto formed a Kage Bunshin and handed off the Hero's Water and his cell phone to keep with Sakura until his fight was finished. The clone rushed off to the pink haired girl above to do as instructed.

XxX

(With Sasuke and Kyuubi – Konohagakure no Sato)

"So…" Kyuubi felt out nervously as she and Sasuke sat on the roof of an abandoned apartment complex, looking out across at one that was seemingly working with electricity and the works, "Who are we supposed to… kill." She finished with a small gulp as she felt her throat tighten just thinking about actually killing someone.

Sasuke shook his head, "_We're_ not going to be killing anyone." Kyuubi sighed in relief upon hearing that. Sasuke ws just joking when he said that before, she assumed, until he spoke again, "You're going to be doing this yourself. I'm not helping you out."

Kyuubi's jaw dropped, "I'm fighting them myself? Are you insane? You're going to send me in by myself?"

Sasuke frowned, "Well it wasn't the original plan. I was going to help, but it's only been a few hours since Itachi beat me ragged and the pain is really starting to set in. If I went with you I would probably be more of a hindrance than a help." Sasuke pulled a laptop out of the bag he had been carrying. He reached into a pocket of the bag and placed a small sticker-like accessory on Kyuubi's shirt collar, "That's the camera and microphone." He pulled out a small earpiece and placed it properly in her ear, "You'll be able to hear me just fine with that. I'll be updated on everything that you're doing for this, and I'll be able to advise you if I think you need it. But if I say to do something you need to do it immediately, no questions, no rebuttals okay?"

Kyuubi took a deep breath and finally nodded, "Okay Sasuke. Now what are we here to do?"

Sasuke began typing on the laptop before pulling up a file, "There's a new crime syndicate that thinks it can move into Konoha and get past the police's radar. They're terrible people; dealing drugs, into underage prostitution, they even capture and sell human beings. Human trafficking to nations with far more lax law for conduct than us and places with no force of justice at all… they're scum."

Kyuubi gave Sasuke a questioning look, "Well how haven't the police launched a raid against them yet?"

Sasuke sneered at nothing and shook his head, "If only it were that easy… We need to build a case before we can just reach out and snatch the rotten bastards all up. Following the law to fight criminals who break it can be very difficult and drawn out sometimes. That's why I've gotten Naruto to do stuff like this with me in the past."

Kyuubi nodded in understanding. Naruto had a code of honor that he stuck fast to before any law. Hell, he barely abided by it. The only reason he didn't break more laws than he did on a regular basis was because they would have directly conflicted with his code of conduct.

Sasuke gave her a small bag that had a significant weight to it, "Plant explosives everywhere you can that looks vital to the building's structure. When you get out I'll blow it and that will be that. If you get into a fight be as quick and decisive as you can, kill them and move along." He looked back over at the opposite building, "Charges on each floor should do it."

Kyuubi slung the bag over her back and looked over at the apartment complex apprehensively before jumping off of the roof and heading over under the cover of darkness, only the moon out to give any illumination to the scene. As she made her way to the dilapidated entrance of the complex she found no guards, though, who would actually come to this place for anything? She wouldn't even call it a slum really, it wasn't fit for humans to inhabit, a place like this.

Making a few specific, uncommon hand-seals she focused her youki around her body, "Onijutsu: Kitsune no Manto (Demon Technique: Fox Cloak)." Kyuubi's body turned transparent with only her shimmering outline visible, and in the low light of the building there was no one that was going to see her. She looked around before speaking lowly, "Sasuke I'm in. I'm going to start looking for places to plant explosives on the ground level."

A response was immediately heard only to her, _"Good. Remember, be fast and get moving, this is so you can actually see what it's like to be me or Naruto."_ With that, the Uchiha outdoors went silent.

Kyuubi walked along the lower floor to see that the walls had been knocked out to form some ramshackle rec area. The men were sitting about on couches in a rough sitting area just talking and drinking to pass the time. Some were even playing cards and gambling with their pay.

She could see the stripped supports of the building simply sitting out in the open, easy targets for her to plant explosives at. However the easy part stopped there. The room was inhabited by around a dozen men. None knew she was there of course, but that wasn't the point. Any idiot could see explosives strapped to the supports of the building, if she found a way to set them up and left to the next level she wouldn't be able to leave fast enough for her to get away without her presence being discovered.

Kyuubi looked at her nails which had become lethal weapons the moment she channeled her youki throughout her entire body. She took a deep breath, this was going to have to be fast, like pulling off a band-aid… only except a band-aid it would be living human beings, and instead of pulling anything off she would be killing. Kami, couldn't Sasuke work her up to killing people, like having her kill a chicken or something first?

Kyuubi frowned and dropped her invisibility jutsu so that she could form an attack. She channeled youki to both hands, getting her claws to glow a familiar red before taking precise aim so that she would only have to make one move to end it all. After getting her targets she let loose Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash) with both hands.

The five fingered attacks spread out and ripped through the couches and the men, splattering the floor and walls with blood. Every man hit with the attack was cut into ribbons, except for one that only lost an arm he was reaching out with to grab his beer from the table. The look on his face changed from lucidity, to surprise, to horror, and Kyuubi saw that look turning over to signify pain.

If he screamed in pain she was busted and this would get a lot harder for her. She rushed over to the man as quickly as she could just as he opened his mouth and his scream died in his throat, mostly because she had just slashed into it with her bare nails.

The man fell back in what was left of his seat gurgling blood for a few moments before his body came to an open eyed stop.

Kyuubi started to back away and hyperventilate. Back hitting the wall, she slumped to the floor and looked at the hand covered in human blood. She could just feel the pieces of human skin under her nails. She just stared at her bloody hand and started nervously chewing on the nails on her other hand, "They were all bad guys… They were all bad guys… They were all bad guys…" She muttered to herself over and over as her eyes began to well up with tears.

Outside from the opposite building, Sasuke took off his headset and gave the girl a moment. Nothing that he could say in this instance would calm her down. She had seen dead people. When Kiba killed that one mercenary from Kaisha Tekagi outside of school during the fight she didn't flinch… though she didn't _see_ him. Sasuke burned his body before she could. She hadn't seen when Sasuke killed that bandaged assassin that came for him either, Sasuke had also incinerated his corpse before she could see him because Naruto blocked her view with his body. She had never _seen_ death before despite being so close to it so often.

Sasuke sighed and bumped his head against his fist as he continued to watch over her upon picking his headset back up, "Come on girl get it together… You're just getting started."

XxX

(Haku vs. Shibuki)

Shibuki stood breathing heavily in the middle of Haku's ice mirror dome, 'What a technique… Is she in all of the mirrors at once? No that's impossible. There's no way that's possible, but the alternative isn't much better. That she's moving so fast she simply appears to be in all of them at once'

A sharp whistling noise let Shibuki know it was time to dodge once again as he rolled to his right and avoided three senbon, just to catch four more; one to his knee, two to both sides of his torso, and one to his shoulder.

Shibuki dropped to one knee and pulled the needles out of his body painfully, "You're seriously good. Kaisha Hein is just as powerful as everyone says it is."

Haku's reflections showed no indication of accepting the complement other than the faint smile on her face, "You have done well to have lasted this long. You are able to avoid me hitting you anywhere that would instantly end the fight no matter how I try to corral you into doing so, impressive."

"Even so." Shibuki said, rising back to his feet and reaching into his shirt, "It's time to turn this around. Like I said, I won't lose here." Shibuki pulled out a necklace with a locket-sized vial of water in it and popped it open, "This is the last prototype of the Hero's Water. It isn't nearly as strong as the new model, but it will have to do." Shibuki tossed it back down his throat and gulped before smirking, "You should have taken that opportunity to finish me off mercenary-chan. Now you lose."

Haku pulled out more senbon, "We will see. I still have the advantage in here." She then let her projectiles fly.

Shibuki nodded, "Yes you do. I guess it's time for me to get out of here." His chakra then flared up around him visibly, bouncing the senbon off before vanishing in a blur, so fast that Haku barely saw him head towards the exit between the cracks. She was almost able to intercept him before he escaped, but he was a step too fast for her to move between mirrors to in order to catch.

Shibuki came to a stop on the surface of the water and whipped through hand-seals, "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Jutsu)!" Shibuki formed a dragon from behind him in the water and sent it to utterly smash Haku's mirrors.

Haku teleported out of a flying shard of what used to be her ice mirrors and landed on the water looking out at Shibuki with a determined face.

XxX

(Naruto vs. Fuu)

After taking the items from the Kage Bunshin, Sakura dug back into the SUV to find anything to help her out in this situation. After going through Haku's bag she found nothing that she could use to help Naruto fight Fuu. Haku carried no real weapons other than senbon and Sakura knew nothing whatsoever about how to use them, she couldn't even hold them. Going through Lee's bag was a similar endeavor only more disturbing. Seriously, who makes those green spandex suits and how could they live with themselves for doing so?

In Naruto's bag she found a decent sized knife that she took onto her person. She wasn't going to get close, but it never hurt to have a weapon in this case. She also found a pair of goggles that she recognized as the pair that Naruto used to wear as a kid. Why were they here now? Sakura shrugged, maybe she could find some use for them, and put them on around her neck as she dragged the gear of the blonde mercenary to the side of the cliff to see if she could assist Naruto in some way.

Back down on the surface of the water, Naruto was still recovering from the brutal shots he had taken from Fuu and was determined to not let her get a hold of him again, he knew full well that he couldn't take another beating like that and continue to fight. He formed a pair of blue fireballs in his hands and threw them at Fuu to try and keep her away from him, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!"

Fuu made a few hand-seals ending in the horse seal and spit a jet of water from her mouth, "Suiton: Mizurappa (Water Release: Violent Water Wave)!" The water put out Naruto's flaming projectiles and came rushing out at him. Naruto dodged aside onto a stone near the base of the falls only to find Fuu right in front of him with her fist cocked back. Naruto backflipped just as her punch obliterated the stone he had been standing on. Fuu grabbed a shattered piece of rock out of the air and pelted Naruto with it catching him right on the brow and splitting him open widely.

Naruto's vision was halved as blood ran down into his eye from the wound on his face. Any lower and Fuu's attack would have put his eye out entirely so this consequence could be overlooked for the most part. Fuu missed a follow up punch and Naruto took great care when he retaliated with a punch to the chest to not make any contact with her skin, showing that if he couldn't avoid close combat he could at least learn from his past mistakes, especially ones of the painful variety.

"I'm getting tired of you…" She growled out as her aura became more and more authoritative, "I'm not going to lose to you… and I'm not letting you over-hyped Kaisha Hein chore takers walk all over us. You can't come into our territory and simply work as you please, and we'll make everyone see that if you want someone to do a job right you should hire Kaisha Yuugure." A grin came to her face as her eyes began to fully glow pink, encompassing the whites and glowing brightly, "…Because we're the best."

Naruto's arms became covered in the tattoos that usually went with activating his ascended form once he realized that Fuu was done with playing stand-up, it was time to play executioner. Naruto's hair started to grow and change colors to white, "I'm better than your best." A pair of fox ears sprouted on his head.

"We'll see sweetie." Fuu said before a small horn grew from her forehead and a pair of wing bones grew from her back. After forming the bones, actual wings made of chakra burst from them, "We'll see."

* * *

**Chapter done, and now to go off topic because I need to share this with the masses who couldn't honestly care less. **

**Random rant 1: I now have two of the greatest submission victories of my entire life under my belt. So awesome. I have achieved victory by crucifix and by half boston crab. If you are aware of those two submission holds then do not ask me how I even got into the situation to perform them, it was all a blur, and if you do not know of the moves I speak of you need to go to Youtube, find them (Especially the crucifix), and laugh as you wonder how a grown man can allow themselves to be put into that position by a 19-yr old with absolutely no formal training whatsoever.**

**Random rant 2: So I was watching ESPN randomly the other day and no Kobe Bryant should not be in trouble for being featured in a Call of Duty commercial. Is the game violent? Yes. Does it really matter? No, because it's not fucking real, it's a goddamn video game! If parents don't like it then they shouldn't buy their little brats the goddamn game, it's rated M for a reason! Kobe is a goddamn grown-ass man and can openly play or be in a commercial for whatever the fuck he wants. Go and fucking buy them Sonic the Hedgehog instead if you don't like COD and shut the fuck up. If there are people out there that think this is a sensitive issue they need to jump back in time ninety years to the 1920's where learning to fight and shoot were basically prerequisites for manhood for little boys, and one of the very few ways to break boredom, and say that shit. God, when did this country get so pussified? **

**I'm moving to Canada when I graduate. Oh! Or maybe Australia, they speak English!  
**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed and until next time,**

**Kenchi out.**

**P.S. I'm so close to Log Pope I can taste it. All I need are a few more reviews to reach 400 and achieve my wooden hat of greatness.**


	30. Never Too Simple

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I am thinking of taking up parkour in an attempt to bring myself closer to the wonderful world of the ninja, however I refrain from making the attempt for multiple reasons.

I have the natural agility and dexterity of a giant snapping turtle. Only through years of hard work and diligent training have I gotten my natural balance to the point where I no longer stumble over absolutely nothing while walking down the street.

I live nowhere where knowing how to do any of that stuff would be cool or exciting to use it. The only time I would ever use it is when I would be running from cops or groups of douchebags, or to avoid certain people I would rather not have a run-in with… because college campuses aren't really that big when it comes down to it, at least mine isn't… and even now I probably use some of it subconsciously when I clear gates and fences.

I would never use it. I do not run unless I am being chased or I am working out because I despise running. If I don't do that then why the fuck would I run, jump, flip, etc. across gaps at least ten feet off of the ground for the benefit of no one in particular watching me?

Enjoy the chapter

**Chapter 30: Never Too Simple**

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* * *

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(Haku vs. Shibuki)

Haku stomped her foot on the surface of the water while making hand-seals, "Hyouton: Hyouheki (Ice Release: Ice Wall)!" A wall of ice formed from the water around her and solidified in front of her just in time to crack under Shibuki's fist instead of cracking her face. Haku was sweating at the thought of taking a punch from Shibuki under the influence of his shot of Hero's Water. To crack a solid wall of ice six inches thick he had to be hitting hard enough to shatter her jaw if he made contact.

Shibuki appeared at her side on the side of her wall before she could think further. Haku immediately nailed him in the throat with a senbon to reveal that she had only hit a Mizu Bunshin (Water Clone). Turning around, Haku barely got her hands up to block a kick from the powered up Shibuki that sent her sliding back across the surface of the water. Upon ceasing her backwards slide, Haku grimaced as she was certain that her forearms were injured from the kick she had just blocked.

"Suiton: Mizu Kamikiri (Water Release: Rising Water Cutter)!" Shibuki kicked up through the water, causing a vertical blade projectile of water to fly out at Haku swiftly. Haku lowered her hands in time to see it coming but it ended up getting her in the right side of her body and leg. The hit sent her sprawling across the water before coming to a rest and sinking below, leaving a trail of blood where she sank.

Shibuki watched the blood settle on the surface of the water grimly. He didn't want to have to kill Haku, but if she wouldn't surrender or stay down he would have no choice. This mission was too important for his company to simply scrap because he was too timid to fight a girl.

After a while he wondered if she had been knocked out and drowned underneath the water, but until a body surfaced he wasn't turning his paranoia meter down. He simply waited patiently for Haku to surface and prepared himself for whatever she had planned.

The soft sound of crackling preceded large spikes of ice forming from the water underneath Shibuki that he was forced to avoid. As fast as they were able to spring up he was able to move out of their way. He had to admit that if he hadn't taken the Hero's Water he had with him he would have been thoroughly annihilated by now. He realized that a rough ring of the spikes had been made to enclose him.

"Hyouton: Fubuki no Sendan (Ice Release: Shearing Snowstorm)!" The ice spikes shattered, and rapidly scattered around Shibuki. One passed by his face and cut his cheek, letting him know that the flying ice shards were razor sharp. The young man did his best to keep himself safe, but the sheer raw amount of the tiny, quick projectiles added on to the unpredictable pattern they moved at ended up cutting into him all over. The only thing he really could do inside of the hellish blizzard was cover his eyes to prevent them from taking damage from the dangerous situation he found himself in.

Haku finally surfaced from beneath the water, taking deep breaths of air and holding her wounded side as she watched her ice storm tear into Shibuki from a distance. She had lost a lot of blood swimming to get time to herself and gather the chakra she needed to initiate her ice spikes and the resulting jutsu which was currently underway. As the flurries from her controlled storm died down she narrowed her eyes at the sight of Shibuki. His clothes had been torn to tatters and he had multiple cuts and lacerations across his skin but other than that he had come out of it far better than Haku would have liked. She wanted that one to finish him off.

Shibuki dropped his arms and looked out at her with a look of fortitude before the visible chakra burst that the Hero's Water enabled him came to the forefront once more, "Tch." Haku made a noise as the water and air around her gathered to her hands to make a pair of frozen, sharp claws. Shibuki saw her do this and formed two swords of water for both of his hands. Haku looked at her frozen extensions unhappily, "Kouri no Tsume (Ice Claws)… I detest taijutsu."

Shibuki's speed was faster than Haku, but she had gotten used to how outclassed she was at this point and had adjusted for it accordingly in her defense against him. For some reason he also felt slower and slower. When he hit her with the jutsu that injured her he was still outworking her, but compared to when he had first escaped her dome of mirrors it was manageable. The reason she was hit was a combination of surprise and his speed more than simply his speed.

'It has to run out at some point.' She deduced. It was simply infeasible that Shibuki could cut this kind of pace for long. And as she had noticed it was already starting to wear down. She didn't have to decisively finish him, all she had to do was outlast his power-up and she could finish him.

Shibuki came at her dual wielding his swords of water. His attack was prevented from hitting by Haku's claws, showing incredible durability when up against Shibuki's enhanced strength. Having two swords came in handy once Haku decided she was going to attempt to return some of the offense she had been taking when she decided to claw back at him, however he got another nasty surprise from Haku when she grabbed onto both swords with her ice claws tightly.

Haku's grip on his swords began freezing them up to the hilt where it began to cover his own hands in ice. Haku was attempting to use the fact that they were surrounded by water to freeze him solid with her kekkai genkai's ability to create and manipulate ice. The fact that they were surrounded by water caused her to be able to freeze him that much faster than she would have been able to otherwise.

Shibuki kicked Haku off of him just as the ice passed his forearms. The ice went from the tips of his water swords to his forearms, freezing the swords tightly in his hands, keeping him from dropping them and letting the jutsu go due to the water now being ice instead.

Haku coughed slightly due to being kicked off of Shibuki in her ribs and looked at the results of her strategy. It was a decent try that she wished would have frozen more of his body than just his lower arms but this was better than nothing. Feeling that her own arms were beginning to go numb from her ice claws she let them collapse from her hands and rubbed them to get the feeling back in her hands. Her hand-seal speed was one of her strengths and losing that would have taken her chances of winning down greatly.

Shibuki growled to himself as he found himself unable to break the ice around his arms with force and decided to cut his losses and continue attacking with his swords while he still could. Even though they were frozen they were still sharp, his hands were stuck around the swords, and he could still use them. And he was still faster than Haku; speed + sharp weapons = one dead opponent.

'I have to finish this girl off!' Shibuki told himself, 'I can't lose here! The water is going to wear off any moment now!' He rushed at Haku and tried to find an opening to take advantage of on the skilled young mercenary. He took a cross swing at Haku who was able to duck underneath the attack at the cost of her bun coming undone, in return she stabbed him in the joint of his knees with a pair of senbon and got away from him.

Shibuki grimaced in pain as he felt her bury the metal needles into his legs, 'She even has my attack pattern down. If it weren't for the Hero's Water I would have been finished off by her a long time ago, she's above my level.' He tried to come at her again only to feel that Haku's attack significantly slowed him down.

Haku saw his speed decrease and his apprehension to come at her again, "Please stop fighting me mercenary-san. If you continue to pursue me the way you have your knees will not be able to handle the stress even if you were to somehow defeat me. Prolonging this battle may end up crippling you." Haku made a half-tiger seal, "Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hidden Mist Jutsu)."

A mist settled over the water, obscuring Haku from sight. Shibuki's eyes widened, "This jutsu is a specialty of-."

"That's right." Haku's voice called out from seemingly all around Shibuki, "Zabuza Momochi. My father you could say. My name is Haku Momochi."

Shibuk started looking around frantically, "The daughter of the Demon of the Mist? He has a daughter? Why do you work for Kaisha Hein then? That isn't based out of Kirigakure!"

"It's by adoption. It is a long story. But knowing my name, would that have possibly made you consider surrendering?" Haku questioned.

Shibuki smirked, "Well it's scary to be fighting someone related to such a scary guy, but no. I said that failing this mission wasn't an option and I meant it. Even if it was your father himself I wouldn't back down. I'm Shibuki, the son of the leader of Kaisha Yuugure, and running away isn't an option for me." As he finished that statement he made three rapid hand-seals and made a spinning vortex of water around his body to block incoming senbon from Haku.

"I see." Haku said somewhat sadly, "It was an honor to fight you then Shibuki-san."

Shibuki's muscles tensed as he fought his instincts to run out blindly into the mist in search of Haku, "You say that like this battle is over Haku-san."

"Because it is. You're not faster than me anymore, and if you're slower than me, as slow as you are now… you're dead."

Shibuki suddenly felt drained. He had used a lot of chakra to block the stealth senbon from Haku, and he had been using chakra to keep his knees from collapsing under him after Haku hit him there with her senbon. His limbs started shaking as he started to feel his eyes growing heavier, 'No! The water, I wasn't fast enough!'

Before he could think on it any longer, one senbon needle silently hit him in the side of neck. Shibuki gasped before falling back onto the water, held up from sinking underneath by Haku catching him, "Finally." She said before beginning to drag herself and Shibuki to dry land.

XxX

(With Sasuke and Kyuubi)

Sasuke had been silent for over 45 minutes. Kyuubi had gone silent over ten minutes ago after hysterically crying about what she had just done to the men in the hideout and Sasuke simply had to let her come to whatever conclusion on the matter she was going to come to on her own. He wasn't her parent, he wasn't her boyfriend, there wasn't anything he could say to really influence her state of mind like this.

He finally turned his headset back on and took a breath before speaking, "Do you want me to get you out of there?"

Silence reigned for a moment before a response was given, _"What's going to happen if I say yes?"_

Sasuke thought about his answer before telling her, "Honestly, the charges you set aren't going to be enough to take that building out. They're going to find out that the guys you killed are dead and they're probably going to move. When they do it will probably take us another several months to a year to find them again and next time they'll be ready for just you, hell even with me we wouldn't be able to do it. I'd have to hire Naruto or an actual group of mercenaries until we actually have a case for the police to move on them with and that would take forever. Longer than a year."

The line grew silent once again until Sasuke decided to cut their losses, "Alright Kyuubi, come on out. You don't have to-."

"_I'm going to finish it."_ That got Sasuke's eyebrow raising in surprise, _"This is all because I said I could anyway, so what would that make me to back out now?"_

"Normal." Sasuke said, "It would make you normal. A normal person would still be a blubbering mess about the way you just killed those guys."

"_Yeah I guess. It's a good thing that I'm not really normal isn't it?" _She let out a small, humorless laugh.

Sasuke palmed his face, not that she could see it, "You're too rattled to fight. If you keep going then the next person you end up going against is going to tear you apart."

XxX

Inside of the building, Kyuubi frowned at the point Sasuke was making, "I'll just channel more youki through my system next time I end up having to hurt someone. The more of it I start to use the more bloodlust I feel, the less I'll care about what I'm doing."

Sasuke's voice came through her earpiece, _"Won't that wear off once you turn it off? You're going to feel it then."_

"I'm finishing this Sasuke." She said, as she started planting the charges on the support beams, "Now walk me through this so I don't blow myself up trying to put these things on."

XxX

(Naruto Vs. Fuu)

Naruto was tossed backwards and skidded across the surface of the water before rolling back to his feet and flipping the water out of his white hair. Naruto spit out a mouthful of water and looked over at Fuu who in her new form was flying around the body of water situated at the mouth of the waterfall. Naruto was gritting his teeth as he glared up at Fuu.

She stopped in mid-air and hovered in place while looking down at Naruto with her hands on her hips confidently, her now full pink eyes full of mirth, **"Aww, upset that you can't hit me up here? Well that's too bad because I'm just going to fly circles around you and bash your head in until you can't get up anymore."**

Naruto didn't answer as the scowl he had on his face grew more and more pronounced. The ears on top of his head were quivering as his face revealed distress. Finally a ripping noise was heard and Naruto's face filled with relief as a bushy white tail started swishing behind him, **"Oh man… That's so much better. You're so lucky that the stuff you grew your wings with were really solid bone. My tail is flexible so it couldn't punch right through the fabric of my pants too easily."** Naruto bounced on his toes, and loosened himself up happily, **"Alright, let's do this!"**

Naruto rushed quickly up the cliff opposite the massive waterfall and leapt off at Fuu who was surprised at how fast he was able to move. Before this he had barely been able to keep his balance, but she assumed that it was mostly due to his constricted tail. Now that he had it out and about he had proper balance and could go all out.

Fuu was barely able to generate the chakra to her wings to move out of Naruto's way, but she did manage to avoid the furious aerial buzzsaw Naruto turned himself into after springing off of the wall of the cliff to meet her in the air. Fuu watched as Naruto fell down and landed on his feet back on the surface of the water, frowning up at her. She floated around, taunting Naruto from above, **"Sucks for you, you can't reach me. Too bad your little fox powers can't reach me sweetie!"**

At that, Naruto cocked his head to the side as he looked at the girl, **"Yeah about my fox powers. You can obviously tell that my powers are kitsune in origin. What the hell are you? The wings and the little horn on your forehead are throwing me off."**

Fuu made a muscle gesture with her right arm in the air, **"My demon side is a kabutomushi** (Japanese rhinoceros beetle)**. That's why I'm strong, that's why I can fly, and that's why I have a horn, duh. You need a crash course in putting pieces together. Too bad I'm only going to give you one in how to take something apart!"** Fuu flew down from the air at him and attempted to slam into him again.

Naruto was hesitant to use his counter at first because the last demonic technique he tried had absolutely no effect of Fuu at all, but she couldn't possibly be able to shrug off all of his attacks could she? Naruto took a deep breath at the incoming girl and yelled out his attack, **"****Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail)****!"** Instead of the usual equilibrium distorting jutsu that usually resulted, he fired off a concentrated concussive blast of sound that hit Fuu in mid-flight and sent her flying back into the waterfall that slammed her into the surface of the water hard.

Naruto blinked in surprise before smirking at the damage he inflicted on her, **"I like that move in this form."** Seeing his attack actually deal some damage fired Naruto up, **"Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!" **He ran at Fuu who was flying back at him with her face no longer amused, but rather angry that he was able to hurt her outright the way he had.

Naruto drew his hand back to swing at Fuu with his clawed hand but when they collided and he hit her his hand simply bounced off of her skin. Now this combined with the fact that she had been flying at him meant that she crashed right into him and plowed him into the side of the cliff, causing a rock slide to fall on the both of them. Naruto's body was tossed from the pile of rocks by Fuu who watched his body skip across the surface of the water.

XxX

Sakura watched her classmate change into some odd form with… ears? And a tail? Huh… and she thought Naruto was a pretty weird guy before she came on this trip. She got over the ninjutsu thing very quickly since her best friend and seemingly everyone she regularly hung around knew them too, the same for the killing thing since they were trying to kill him, but at some point she just had to stop and take into account everything that she had seen today, and the combination of all of those things coupled with Naruto's new look going up against a girl that had wings and could fly was simply too much for her to take.

'What the hell have I gotten myself into?' Sakura asked herself as she looked at her shaky hands, 'What kinds of people are capable of this kind of thing?' She had to squint her eyes as hard as she could barely keep up with Naruto and Fuu's movements and pulled the goggles she had taken from Naruto's bag from around her neck up over her eyes to give her eyes some relief.

Once she put the goggles on she accidently hit a button on the side that turned on a heads-up display, surprising her at what was available for her to use. Nightvision, Heat vision, Zoom-in, and a link to Naruto's phone to cross-link information that he had on certain people by face recognition.

Sakura scrolled through all of the things he had on what looked to be a simple pair of goggles, "Who the hell did this to a pair of goggles?" She finally settled on the mode that would allow her to zoom in and out so that she could watch the fight between Naruto and Fuu better.

XxX

Not giving up in the face of his experienced opponent, Naruto started shooting off multiple shots of Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash) to try and catch Fuu with even one of them and cleave her down to his level. She simply flew around all of them while in the air and then flew at him once the salvo stopped, delivering a hard kick to his side that sent him sprawling out once more before she hovered near the surface of the water in the area that she and Naruto had just turned to rubble.

Naruto pulled himself out of the water to stand back atop the surface once more, growling at how he was basically being rag-dolled by Fuu. So now he couldn't cut her with his claws either? Could he even hurt this bitch anymore even if he could somehow get a clean hit? There was only one way to find out.

Ignoring the lack of tactical logic in a frontal attack, Naruto rushed back across the water at Fuu who repeated an earlier tactic from their fight and threw a rock at him with her incredible strength, and by rock I mean boulder, and by threw I mean hurled. Fuu _hurled_ a _boulder_ at Naruto who dodged it, fearing for his facial structure if it had made contact with him, as he moved out of the way of the boulder coming at him and obstructing his view, Fuu flew at him from the blind spot and hit him hard, holding onto him as she flew into the air.

Naruto partially broke her grip enough to free a hand and began pummeling her face as she flew higher into the air while holding on to him. It seemed her protection went only as far as sharp attacks much like his Kitsune no Hifu Koka (Fox Skin Hardening), because when he started hitting her, marks and bruises started appearing on her pretty face. She scowled at him and turned them upside down, flying speedily at the water before letting go of Naruto's body and letting him hit the surface with a resounding smack as she evened out her trajectory and flew off to observe the damage.

Naruto could swear it felt like his skin had torn off of his frame when he hit the water and just allowed himself to sink on under as he caught his breath which had been sucked out of him from the force he hit the water with, **'Damn she's strong! And it seems like she knows exactly what to do to win with her ascended form, I'm still working with mine and I can't even really practice with it!'**

Fuu hovered slightly above the surface of the water, waiting for Naruto to make his next move, **'He's a newbie with this form. He's never used it in a real battle before, he has no idea what works and what doesn't. Poor rookie, it almost makes me feel bad about the beating he's going to end up taking from me, and that's even if he survives at all.'**

Naruto blasted out of the water horizontally like a cruise missile, coming right at Fuu. Who had him clocked coming all the way in and cut him off with a punch to the face, only for him to burst into smoke, **"What?"**

Naruto appeared behind her, wrapping his arms around her and binding her to his chest. He even made sure he was attached to her by biting onto the side of her neck,** "What the hell are you doing?"**

Naruto bit down and held on as tightly as he could as he felt her starting to fight his grip, **"Ouul ee in a econd."** He responded unintelligibly. Fuu kept trying to pry herself loose by flexing her muscles when a pair of hands attached around Naruto's ankles and started lifting them out of the water. A towering chain of Kage Bunshin emerged from the water as the original Naruto and Fuu were raised higher and higher in the air by all of the Kage Bunshin. Naruto let go of the grip his teeth had on her neck, **"I will eat your unhappiness!"** He yelled manically.

At a certain point the chain of clones jerked sharply and sent Naruto and Fuu towards the ground at the top of the cliff. Fuu screamed once she realized she couldn't fly as Naruto had a firm grip on her, not allowing her chakra wings room to generate space from the bones on her back and fly them away safely, **"You're insane!"**

Naruto simply laughed raucously all the way down, right until he and his female kabutomushi counterpart hit the ground hard, cratering the ground and breaking off part of the cliff to fall into the water at the edge.

Sakura watched the maneuver from nearby with a slacked jaw. That had to be at least fifty copies of Naruto helping him out with that move, "For Kami's sake… how many of those things can he make?" Sakura stood up and took Naruto's bag with her as she ran closer to where Naruto and Fuu landed near her.

Naruto pulled his way out of the crater first, groaning and laughing slightly to himself as he rolled onto his back, **"You didn't see that one coming did you?"** He said, sitting up on his elbows to see Fuu climbing her own way out of the crater on the opposite side.

The girl shakily crawled out on her hands and knees, **"That almost broke my damn wings… I take back what I said about you not knowing what to do in that form. You make up for it by being a raving lunatic."** Her body was covered in bruises and dirt from the fall she had just taken.

"**My name is Naruto Uzumaki…" **Naruto stood up, his clothes smattered with dirt and grime from the fight, and stumbled slightly before catching himself. Naruto made a few hand-seals, **"And I… Hate! Babies! ****Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Bullet Jutsu)**!" Naruto fired a red sphere of water from his mouth that almost resembled blood and hit Fuu with it in the back just as she was standing up.

Fuu cried out in pain and went down again, dragging face-first through the ground, still trying to move before crying out slightly in pain, **"Okay…"** She said weakly, wincing in pain, **"Now you definitely broke my wings."**

Naruto walked over to her slowly before coming to a stop right over her, **"Are we done?"**

Fuu glared out of the corner of her eye as she lay face down on the ground but finally sighed and let her transformation fade, "Fine… You win. I think you broke my back."

Naruto turned his own ascended form off and kneeled down with a frown, "I never wanted to fight. You guys came after us. Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

Fuu gave him as dry a look as she could give laying face down, "No, I just want you to leave me right here so I can be the greatest crawling mercenary that ever lived." She said sarcastically, "Please call the ambulance."

Naruto rolled his eyes and reached into his pockets only to pull out lint, "Oh yeah. Sakura!" He yelled out in the hopes that he was heard.

"Yeah?"

Naruto blinked and turned his head to see Sakura peeking out from behind a rock with his goggles on, "Where did you get tho- nevermind. Come here and give me my phone, we need to call her an ambulance." Sakura was hesitant to walk over, "Come on now. We're still on the job you know."

Sakura finally moved over to him and handed him the things he handed her when he began fighting seriously with Fuu along with his bag, "Are you really going to get her some help? After all of the stuff we've been through today?"

Naruto nodded as he whipped out his phone and started calling, "Yep. She was just doing her job the same as me. I'd like to think she wouldn't have killed me if she had won, but being that she didn't win and I did, as the victor I have the freedom to do with her what I will… and I'm calling 911. Hello? Yes I have an injured person here-."

"Aww…" Fuu said from her place on the ground, "That's so sweet. When this is all over would you mind giving me your number, I wouldn't mind dating you."

Sakura went wide-eyed, "Date him? He just pulverized you and you want to date him?"

Fuu would have nodded if she could comfortably move her spine, "Well yeah. He's not a bad guy, he's pretty good looking, and those ears and tail? So cute! He's strong too and that's a plus."

Naruto finished his call and hung his phone up, "Ha. I wish. I already have a girlfriend and she would kill me if she knew I had another girl's number in my phone."

"Another?" Sakura asked, "Who else is in there?"

Naruto started looking through his contacts, "Um… Besides Kyuubi-chan herself and all the adult women that I already knew; a girl you don't know named Tenten, a girl you don't know named Hinata, Haku-neechan, a girl from Suna named Temari. Yeah, quite a few."

"So what would one more hurt?" Fuu asked, "In case she breaks up with you and you get back on the market… or she wouldn't mind sharing."

Naruto's eye twitched, "This is going to be a long wait for this ambulance isn't it?"

XxX

(With Kyuubi)

After planting charges on the bottom floor with instructions from Sasuke she reapplied her stealth jutsu and continued on upstairs only to wrinkle her nose at the smell she came across on the third floor, 'Ugh. Disgusting, what is that horrible smell.' Her enhanced sense of smell was working against her here as she made her way through the halls of the third floor towards the source of the dreadful smell.

She came to an open door to find a mass of what looked like ghetto school lab equipment, although the angry sounding voice from Sasuke that came over the earpiece after she stood wondering exactly what she was looking at gave her the answer very clearly, _"A meth lab…"_ Kyuubi watched the dozen men all over the transformed apartment at work on the batch of drugs, _"I'm looking at an actual functioning meth lab."_

Kyuubi wondered why Sasuke seemed so stricken by this until she realized that he wasn't a real officer. He was a teen like her, just because he was more lawfully aware due to who he was in Konoha there were still things he had never seen and a functioning crystal meth lab was apparently one of the things he hadn't had the misfortune of seeing firsthand.

"_Skip this floor. You don't need to go in there Kyuubi."_

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes and dropped her stealth technique to form a blue fireball on her fingertip before throwing it at a clear white substance in a large beaker that set off a chain reaction that sent the entire apartment up in flames. She heard the men inside that didn't die instantly cry out in agony, but she simply channeled youki through her system and walked away, leaving them to their fate and continuing on.

"_You didn't have to do that you know."_ Sasuke said over the line as she walked upstairs to the top floor, _"You could have kept going without tipping those guys off."_

Kyuubi spoke softly in case anyone was nearby, "They were going to die anyway once we blew the charges and don't you remember the reason we did all of this in the first place? As far as I'm concerned all I did was help them get to hell sooner." 'The same place I'm going after this…' She thought off-handedly before squashing that thought, she wasn't done yet.

She reached the top floor and reactivated Onijutsu: Kitsune no Manto (Demon Technique: Fox Cloak) to keep herself hidden from whoever would be puttering about on this floor. Once she started walking around she realized that the floor was something of a penthouse, as much of a penthouse that there could be in that shithole of a complex anyway. It was easy enough to find and plant the charges but seeing as how it was the top floor she was expecting a little resistance of some sort.

'Where the fuck is everyone? There's no one up here? I can't believe that.' She thought to herself as she finished setting the last charge and prepared to leave and blow the building sky-high.

"Well what do we have here? It looks like you were right Ranmaru."

Kyuubi turned her head to see a man with his torso wrapped in bandages with a black vest with an extended collar that had yellow trim. He also had two pike-like swords at his hip and a bundle on his back, "It's a little girl… pretty little thing too. Well I guess I'm going to have to kill her now."

Kyuubi bared her sharpened teeth at the man, "Who the hell are you and who is on your back? I can smell another person on you." She said as she allowed her claws to grow to prepare for a fight.

"_It's Raiga Kurosuki… Damn it I didn't want you to fight him. How did he know you were there? You didn't trip anything and everyone that could have seen you is dead."_ Sasuke said. She had done a fantastic job all the way through, it was difficult to discern exactly how the man found her.

"You're the leader aren't you?" Kyuubi ventured to guess, "Well it's time for you to die now. You've been leeching off of the city for long enough."

Raiga began to laugh, "You think you can beat me? You don't have a chance." He pulled out his swords, "I haven't killed anyone myself in forever, I'll have to savor this one. I hope you have some fight in you girl."

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes, "Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" She unleashed a quick slash of her claws that sent the red blades of energy flying at Raiga. The man avoided them and allowed them to fly off into a wall, cutting deeply into it.

He moved in and tried to cut at her with his swords, however she rolled underneath him and tried reaching for whatever was on his back when she ended up behind him. Raiga saw her reach for his back and kicked her hard, sending her flying back into a wall.

Kyuubi stood up and cracked her back after slamming against the wall and got back into her fighting stance.

"Raiga. She's using a strange source of energy to fight with. She's simply exuding it, it's not human from what I can see." A soft voice said from Raiga's form.

"Thanks Ranmaru." Raiga said before rushing the girl once again. Kyuubi ducked his initial stab at her head and dodged the sideswipe that followed immediately after. She swung her claws back at him in response remembering what Sasuke told her about getting the kill fast and getting out of there. If that ever applied to what she was doing, this was most certainly one of those times.

Raiga moved out of the way and attempted to cut off her arm as it moved past him, but Kyuubi's subtle usage of Chuuou no Hizumi (Center of Distortion) since noticing the man's presence threw off his aim and timing enough for her to pull back her arm and take a cut on her upper arm instead of losing it altogether. Kyuubi got out of Raiga's range and grit her teeth while looking at her wound that was bleeding freely. Getting cut wasn't new to her so she could handle this.

"Ranmaru do your thing. She's getting troublesome." Raiga said. Kyuubi saw a dull red glow from Raiga's back before the scene froze. That was all she was able to see. Even when she herself moved all she could see was the sight she had gotten of Raiga and the glow from the bundle on his back.

"_Kyuubi duck!"_

Kyuubi immediately ducked the way Sasuke told her to and she felt a few stray hairs get cut from the ends of her hair. She almost panicked, she almost died and she didn't see a single thing the entire time, "Sasuke what's going on, I can't see him!" She shouted, not caring that Raiga could hear her talking to him.

"_Fuck! You're in a genjutsu! Can you break it?"_

"No I suck at illusions!" She shouted as she randomly swung at nothing that she could possibly see.

"_Back kick, 6 o' clock!"_

Kyuubi shot out her leg behind her and felt the air leave Raiga's lungs, signifying that she had hit him solidly in the stomach. Raiga rubbed his torso and growled, "Are you okay Raiga?" Ranmaru asked from his back. Raiga smirked, "I'm fine Ranmaru, the little bitch has good instincts though."

'How am I supposed to win if I can't see? Even if I went ascended I still can't see him to hit him or dodge him. He'll kill me anyway.' She thought while she waited for Sasuke to say anything.

"_Damn it Kyuubi I'm coming in there!"_ Her eyes widened at hearing that Sasuke had abandoned his spot on the other apartment to come and get her, _"You'd better stay alive damn it, I'll be right there. I don't care what you have to do, you stay alive!"_

XxX

Sasuke had stored his laptop back in his backpack and was running down the side of the building to get to Kyuubi as fast as he could, 'I didn't want her to fight the boss, I never wanted her to actually fight someone that could realistically kill her! Damn it Naruto is going to gouge my eyes out if she dies here!'

Though he felt far better than he did when dusk first fell after Itachi's glorified beatdown he was still hurt, but just leaving her inside to fight the guy running the whole show wasn't really something he felt comfortable with in the least. Even if she wasn't Naruto's girlfriend she was still a _friend_, a good friend.

Sasuke rushed inside and to the top floor as fast as his legs could carry him and saw a gleam in the low light of the room that got him to activate his Sharingan for the fight he had just gotten himself into, "Get away from her!" He yelled when he saw the blood dripping from Raiga's swords. Sasuke reached into the pack on his back and pulled out a pair of massive fuuma shuriken and a mass of smaller ones before throwing them at Raiga.

Raiga saw them all coming and moved out of their way, however he saw a shimmering light trailing from Sasuke's hands and mouth. The shuriken all whipped around a support strut in the room and pulled Raiga face-first against it with one of the fuuma shuriken coming back his way.

"Soufuushasan no Tachi (Manipulating Windmill Triple Blades)!" Sasuke said as the shuriken flew back at Raiga, however Raiga used his two swords to generate lightning through the wires that had him pinned and wound up shocking Sasuke, getting him to let go of the metal wires in time for him to escape.

Sasuke cursed audibly and quickly took the time to move over to Kyuubi who had a stab wound on her left shoulder, "Can you fight?"

She was gritting her teeth and holding the wounded shoulder, looking around frantically until she heard his voice, "I still can't see. But do I really have a choice in the matter?"

Sasuke grabbed on to her hand and made a hand-seal with his other, "Hold on, give me a second and I'll break it."

"Raikyuu (Lightning Ball)!"

He was stopped when he pushed Kyuubi out of the way and split them apart to avoid taking a ball of electricity that Raiga had formed and thrown from his sword.

The focus of the swordsman was now solely on Sasuke, as Kyuubi was more or less out of it as long as she couldn't see, making Sasuke the biggest threat for the time being. Sasuke could see the electricity he was channeling through the blades he held and he didn't want anything to do with those swords, so using his Sharingan to keep track of his moves he kept one step ahead. Compared to dodging Itachi, this was a break to him.

Kyuubi meanwhile sat in a corner clutching at her freely bleeding shoulder. All she could still see was the view of Raiga and whatever was on his back faintly glowing red, although she could hear Sasuke and Raiga fighting nearby. She lightly touched her wound and felt her bleeding refraining from stopping. She twitched in pain at touching the wound directly and heard a clang when her foot hit one of the weapons that Sasuke dropped. She had a thought and began feeling around for it on the ground.

Kyuubi picked up the massive shuriken and formed a blue flame in her hand that she held the blade of it into, progressively allowing the metal to turn red-hot.

Sasuke meanwhile didn't know what to make of Raiga. He was easy enough to dodge even though it was quite clear that he was very good with his swords, and after seeing him launch the ball of electricity at him he expected him to attempt far more ranged ninjutsu on him seeing as how he couldn't hit him with his weapons. But he just kept trying to hack away at him. Sasuke dodged a slash and punched Raiga right in the face.

"Raiga he's going low next." The small voice called out again.

Sasuke realized that whoever had said that was referring to his next move and was absolutely right as after hitting Raiga in the face he ducked low and went to sweep the leg. Raiga took not of this and jumped high enough to avoid it, and from there, Sasuke saw Raiga's foot come at him in slow motion and ended up eating said foot when it made contact with his face.

Sasuke hit the ground and slid across the floor until he hit the wall. He pushed himself up with his back against it while he rolled through hand-seals and looked up into the advancing Raiga's eyes. A red glow came from Raiga's back coming right before laughter from the man, "Sorry little Uchiha. But you're not going to be trapping me in any genjutsu as long as I have my secret weapon."

Sasuke had a smart-ass response fully prepared for that when a loud scream from across the penthouse turned his attention to Kyuubi. With his attention side-tracked, Sasuke almost lost his head when Raiga swung his sword at him. What surprised him about that was that he didn't see it coming when he turned his eyes to Raiga. It came at him full-speed.

'What the fuck happened to my Sharingan?' Sasuke asked himself as he wound up getting cut across his chest. He couldn't see Raiga's movements anymore, something made his kekkei genkai useless to him.

"You're lucky we're inside Uchiha kid. But it won't matter because you and that red-haired girl are still going to die." Raiga taunted as he threw one of his swords at Sasuke. Sasuke did his best to predict the trajectory as if he still had the Sharingan, as old habits die hard, but he ended up taking the blade through his bicep, pinning him to the wall.

Sasuke yelled in pain and threw out his leg in a desperation kick but it hit nothing but air and Raiga scattered his brains with a punch that left him reeling, the only thing keeping him from sliding to the floor was that his arm was pinned by the blade.

Raiga drew his sword back to impale Sasuke and end the fight when Ranmaru called out to him suddenly, "Raiga move!"

He wasn't given a direction to dodge in, so he jumped to the side, only for Kyuubi to come from the side, in his blind spot. Raiga still managed to avoid taking damage from her claws and smirked at the girl in a taunting fashion, "I don't know how you haven't bled out yet, but obviously the blood loss is messing with you. You had a clean shot and you still missed."

Kyuubi smirked while holding her wounded shoulder with her free hand, "I didn't miss asshole. I wasn't aiming for you."

"Raiga…" A voice called weakly from a bundle on the ground. Kyuubi had managed to get it off of his back with her last attack. A small, weak looking purple-haired boy crawled out of the bundle and looked at Raiga.

"Ranmaru!" Raiga tried to rush towards Ranmaru, preparing to cut straight through Kyuubi to get there when he wound up getting stabbed in the side by Sasuke who had freed himself and turned Raiga's own weapon against him. Sasuke drove the sword deeply through his side, to the point where the tip came out the other side of him and kicked him away.

"Raiga no!" Ranmaru glared at Sasuke and had his eyes glow red, making him realize that Ranmaru had been the one that had been messing with his Sharingan somehow and had cast the genjutsu on Kyuubi.

Before anything could happen to Sasuke, Kyuubi kicked Ranmaru and sent his small frame across the room. Kyuubi frowned when she looked over at the motionless boy and back over to Sasuke who had the same look on his face.

A low voice hissed from the other side of the room, "That's it… You're both dead…" Raiga stood up and pulled the sword from his body, ignoring the barbs that ripped his wound wider, "I'll kill both of you right here, right now." He joined his swords together at the hilt and raised them into the air.

BOOM

Lightning struck the roof of the building, starting a fire and opening a hole to the sky where lightning came down to Raiga's swords and began drawing the air current and lightning around his body, making a spinning vortex that took the form of a dragon, "Rairyuu no Tatsumaki (Lightning Dragon Tornado)!" Raiga's jutsu snuffed out the fire on the ceiling and tore it apart, leaving the penthouse bare to the elements.

Sasuke held his bicep and looked at Raiga's dragon, "Did he just call down lightning?" He then looked over to Kyuubi who was still holding her shoulder, "You broke the genjutsu? How?"

She removed her hand and revealed a nasty burn where the wound on her shoulder was, "I stopped the bleeding and the pain snapped me out of it I guess." She smirked in pain and covered her wound back up, "It could still get infected though. We need to finish this off."

Sasuke cringed when he saw the burn, "That's going to leave a nasty scar no matter what we do." He just wanted to prove a point or have her prove herself, and now he had gone and scarred his best friend's girlfriend for life inadvertently.

"Who cares about the scar? I need to overpower this thing or we're going to die." Kyuubi shouted, rolling her eyes.

Sasuke turned his Sharingan back on and analyzed the jutsu, "It's made of lightning and wind." Sasuke's eyes widened, "Think you've got a fireball big enough to put that thing down?"

Kyuubi grinned, "Who are you talking to?" She took her hand off of her wound and generated a Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire) in both hands before letting the flame wash over her entire body, "Well? Charge up your own fireball Sasuke-teme, I'm not doing this alone."

Sasuke started making hand-seals, "Let's see how big of a fireball I've got left in me, Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" He shouted as he fired massive fireball twice his height and width at Raiga.

Kyuubi exuded all of her power outward at Raiga, "Kitsune-hi no Jisshi (Embodiment of Fox Fire)!" The blue flames surrounding her body expanded and flew outward in the shape of her body.

Both attacks hit Raiga and his lighting tornado dragon. The wind of the jutsu simply stirred the flames hotter and more intense, turning the windy storm dragon into a dragon of inferno. Kyuubi and Sasuke took cover behind a support beam as the heat rose and they heard Raiga scream in pain as he was basically cooked alive.

Sasuke yelled over the loud noise, "Are you going to teach Naruto how to do that?" He asked somewhat nervously.

Kyuubi gave him a fanged grin, "Nope! That's my own personal technique! He doesn't have the control for something like that."

Sasuke peeked out from behind the pillar and grimaced at the sight, "Ugh… Okay. I think he's dead now." Kyuubi sighed and turned off her youki before the smell of burnt flesh filled her nose and she vomited. Sasuke patted her back, "You've never set a living person on fire before." Kyuubi shook her head and Sasuke rubbed her back consolingly, "Go back outside and get some air. I'll be right there in a bit."

Kyuubi shakily walked her way down the stairs and left Sasuke alone up there to finish the job. Sasuke started applying the charges to the support beam he had just been hiding behind, what was left of it, when he heard loud crying, "Raiga! Raiga no! I can't bring you back."

Sasuke walked over to Raiga's blackened body and saw an injured Ranmaru crying over what was left of him, "Come on kid he's dead." Ranmaru just kept on crying, prompting Sasuke to grab his hand, "Come on kid, you need medical attention or you'll die too."

He was once again ignored and let Ranmaru cry for a few moments more before he chopped the small boy on the back of the neck to knock him unconscious and put him over his shoulder to carry him out after he finished placing his explosives.

XxX

Outside of the complex, Kyuubi sat on the curb, looking at her hands that she had just used to kill so many people when she felt Sasuke tap her on the shoulder, getting her to look up at him, "You're taking the kid?"

Sasuke made a 'hm' noise, "What am I going to do? Leave him inside of the building that I'm going to blow up? He's not really dangerous on his own." He made a motion with his head, "Come on. We're going to the hospital. My arm is still bleeding."

Kyuubi stood up holding her shoulder and followed Sasuke as they both walked to the nearest medical facility. After a few minutes she asked him a question, "What about blowing up the-?"

BOOM

After a loud explosion, dust from the site of what used to be the apartment complex rose into the air, putting a smirk on Sasuke's face, "And we're done. Need to puke again?" He asked.

Kyuubi suddenly felt sick to her stomach, "Please don't tempt me. I'll be doing plenty of that when my adrenaline wears down."

XxX

"For the last time Sakura." Naruto started, "No I'm not going to tell you what I just did to match Fuu, and no you can't have my goggles. I had my friend Tenten fix those up for me so they weren't useless anymore. As a matter of fact-." He snatched them from around her head and put them on his, "Give me those… I haven't even used them yet and here you go breaking them in."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Where is that damned ambulance? It's not like we're that far out of the way."

Naruto nodded and called over to his former opponent, "Fuu, you hanging in there?"

"Just peachy over here." She said sarcastically, "I mean my back is broken and I've been laying here for forty-five minutes but other than that I'm all good."

Naruto reached into the bag of his that Sakura was holding and pulled out the bottle of Hero's Water, "All of that trouble for this little bottle of nothing. It desperately makes me want to drink it. Me being thirsty doesn't help either."

"Just wait Naruto." Sakura said, "If Haku won she should be on her way here right now."

"Yeah, yeah… I've been thirsty for the last three hours and-." Naruto felt something coming at him and Sakura, forcing him to pick her up and jump out of the way. Where they had once been, a large fireball hit, one that would have completely roasted them both alive had it hit.

"What the hell?" Fuu said as she felt what had just happened. She used all of her remaining energy to drag her body around to see what had happened and widened her eyes at what she saw, "No… Not you. You're not real. You were just a story!"

She laid eyes on a man wearing black pants, a sleeveless shirt that showed his arms with large stitches on them, and a mask that only revealed his eyes, colored green and red. The man chuckled, "Stories have to come from somewhere little girl. Seeing as how you know about me you must be from the useless PMC stationed in this city." He narrowed his eyes on her helpless frame, "I detest that company."

He started moving towards Fuu, leaking killing intent when a fist slammed into the side of his face. He turned to where the punch came from, his skin turned dark instead of its usual lighter tone, "And you must be the keeper of my target."

Naruto pulled his fist back. How did that not lay him out, he hit him full-impact, "Who the hell are you?"

The strange man laughed, "It doesn't matter to a child like you. Just give me what I want, or I'll just take it and walk over your broken corpse."

Naruto jumped back and formed a blue fireball in his hand, "You talk a lot of shit, Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!" Naruto threw it right at the man and smirked when he saw it burst right on him.

His smirk faded into shock when the fire dispersed and he saw his enemy standing in place, unmoved by what had just occurred, "That tickled." Naruto's hands dropped in surprise, "My turn."

He seemingly vanished from Naruto's view before a blunt force struck Naruto right in his face, sending him flying back into the SUV that had taken them to this country. Naruto's body bounced off of the side, breaking the passenger windows and denting the doors with his being.

Naruto pulled himself up only to find the same man there to slam a knee into his body, Naruto felt what was left of his ribs break on impact. He then grasped Naruto by the throat and lift him off of the ground. He stared into Naruto's eyes as he slowly strangled him, "Now where is the Hero's Water?"

Naruto tried to pry his grip off of him but it was rock-solid. He then grew out his claws and tried to rip into the man's arm, but he couldn't piece his skin. In desperation, Naruto attempted to transform, but just as he felt the feeling wash over him he was slammed face-first into the durable ground.

Naruto got on his hands and knees and could feel that his nose had been broken as blood poured from it like a faucet. He put that thought aside and tried to transform again only for the new arrival to step on the back of his head, cracking the ground with the force he did so with.

The man glared down at him, "Your heart isn't even worth taking you weakling." He looked up and walked around the SUV to find Sakura on the other side, clutching Naruto's bag and staring at him fearfully with tears in her eyes.

He walked closer to her and stopped as he towered over her, "Do you fear me girl?" He smirked under his mask when she nodded yes, "That water you brats are toting around is worth quite a bit of money. Give me what I've asked for and I'll let you and your friend live. Hurry up now, you're wasting my time, don't do that."

Sakura rifled through Naruto's bag and shakily held out the Hero's Water. The man reached out for it and took it from her, "This was far easier than waiting on them to finish the delivery and attacking the warehouse." He looked down at Sakura, "You actually think unlike your friend and you held up your end of the bargain so I'll do the same."

He started to leave when a hand wrapped itself around his ankle with crushing force, or what would have been crushing force to a normal person. He looked down to see a pulverized Naruto holding on to him, "Give me my damn water back." He said, almost slurring from the damage he had taken in such a short time, "I'm thirsty…"

An amused laugh came from the man as he picked up Naruto by his hair and held him up, "All guts and no muscle or brains to back it up with... yet. Keep your nose clean kid… after you get it reset of course. You just might be worth some money one day." He threw Naruto down by Sakura and walked off, cackling all the way before he seemed to vanish like a ghost.

Naruto's eyes slowly closed as Sakura's muffled cries of alarm rang out. Before he lost consciousness he could only consider one thing from his entire day, 'W-What a monster.'

* * *

**Chapter complete. I've not got shit to say so I'll just leave it at that. Read, review, whatever.**

**Kenchi out.**


	31. Levels on the Food Chain

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do however own a submission victory over a state level wrestler in submission grappling blindfolded, and I'm telling the world! Come see me Kishimoto if you think you've got what it takes!

**Chapter 31: Levels on the Food Chain**

* * *

Naruto sat shirtless on an examining table with Tsunade shining a light into his eyes to check his awareness. It had been two days since Naruto's ill-fated mission to Takigakure, the thing had been a clusterfuck almost right out of the gate, getting progressively worse the further along they went before walking right into the hornet's nest that was Takigakure, the home base for private military company of that nation based right out of that city, Kaisha Yuugure.

It was basically an unspoken rule that the existing companies refrained from encroaching on one another's territory without working out a joint deal or at the very least getting permission to do so. It was the only thing keeping the tumultuous balance between the groups from exploding into an outright underground war, much like had occurred years prior involving every known PMC in the world, getting so out of control martial law was declared in every major nation involved in the turmoil.

The failure to clear this transport mission and the subsequent slipping of knowledge to the smaller PMC that Kaisha Hein was working deep in the heart of their territory ended with the repeated conflicts all the way through. However the squad of Naruto, Lee, and Haku were not scolded for their failure after Naruto was well enough to fill out a thorough report on what had exactly occurred during the mission.

Once he had relayed the information of who exactly it was that attacked him and Sakura after his fight with Fuu instead of getting chewed out by his mentors (Kakashi, Obito, Rin, Zabuza, etc.) they instead simply looked at him as if he had just walked right back from ground zero in one piece. Rin actually grabbed him in a tight hug immediately after hearing his story… Naruto's busted ribs didn't exactly agree with that.

It turns out that Haku did quickly catch up with Naruto and Sakura, far too late to stop their objective from being taken, but quickly enough to provide enough of a patch job to Naruto to last him until they could drive back the several hours to Konohagakure and hand him over to Tsunade and Shizune after picking all of the others back up. For his injuries to actually keep him down they were grievous, his jaw had been nearly broken with one single punch, his nose had definitely been broken, his six broken ribs almost ruptured his lungs which would have slowly killed him if he had taken any more of a beating. To put it short when Lee and Haku dragged him inside after dropping off the civilians he was in pretty bad shape.

He was still sore, his ribs were still a target, but at least he could safely chew his food now. The only thing still damaged most of all was his pride.

He thought he was rather good at what he did until he wound up getting smashed by this random guy that crushed him before he could even make a decent showing, and the way everyone was looking at him as if he just walked back from the maw of hell and stayed in one piece was starting to irk him. He hadn't been able to leave the HQ ever since he had returned, citing a need to keep watch over his condition the entire time.

Tsunade poked at Naruto's ribs which were heavily taped for a minute amount of protection, getting a low growl out of the boy, "Tsunade-baa stop picking at them. They hurt yesterday, they killed the day before that, and they're sore today and are going to be sore for I don't know how long. Enough with the check-up, I'm as good as I'm going to get for the time being."

Tsunade turned her soft brown eyes up at him and glared lightly, "I'm trying to make sure you don't keel over in the street thirty seconds after getting out of here brat. You've been here for two days, you can wait for a little while longer. Don't be snippy with me because you got your ass kicked."

Naruto scoffed and looked out into space, "Getting my ass kicked doesn't quite cover what happened baa-chan. Fuu kicked my ass until I fought back, Kakashi and Obito kick my ass when we spar. That was… I would call that getting physically dissected if I had to call it anything. I haven't been beaten like that in a long time, heh, and I swore to Mikoto-kaasan and Rin-neechan I would never get my ass whipped like that again. That certainly worked out well didn't it?"

Tsunade sighed and pulled a stool over to the table in front of Naruto and sat down on it, facing him, "Do you know who it is that you ended up tangling with back there?" Tsunade rolled her eyes at Naruto's answer of 'a bad motherfucker', "You just fought one of the living legends in the industry kid. Kakuzu. I don't know why he let you live, I don't know why he was after your package, but you'd better be thankful that you're still among the living after that little encounter. He's been doing this longer than both you and I have been alive, and shut up before I shut you up." She added when she saw him about to make a wise crack about her age.

"I was nothing to him." Naruto said, looking at his injured ribs, "I was nothing but gum on his shoe. Actually, I wasn't even that, because that would have required him to exert some effort to scrape me off if I had been gum."

Tsunade wanted to thump him on the head. What did this kid expect to be, a world-beater right out of the gate? She grabbed Naruto by his ear and forced him to look directly at her, "You are a rookie you moron. You're not supposed to beat everyone you fight, you're just supposed to survive and get better later. I only figure a handful of people here could even stand up to that bastard, people like me and that old pervert Jiraiya. Maybe Hatake too but that might be stretching it. Even if your partners had been there to help you all still would have lost badly."

"Meh…" Naruto grunted, knowing that there were people in the world that could sneeze and blow you away was never a very comforting fact to have shoved in your face.

Tsunade frowned at his expression before a knowing smile spread on her face, "Cheer up. I know something that will probably make you happy. Come on." She stood up and motioned for Naruto to follow her.

XxX

Naruto had changed into a white t-shirt to head home with when he went to grab his stuff from storage. At that point he followed Tsunade out to the garage where he went wide eyed, "Gah! They found it! How did they find it?" Naruto was running around the motorcycle he 'confiscated' during the mission

Tsunade gave him a toothy grin, "Your friend Rock Lee found the site where you left it and brought it back for you. It's actually in pretty good shape after falling off of a cliff in the back of a truck. Haku even got you a license plate while you were out of commission."

Naruto fished his goggles out of his backpack and placed them on his face, "Oh, I thought keeping this thing was going to be a pipe dream after what happened." He fished his phone out of his backpack and opened it, "Huh… I have 37 unanswered texts and 14 missed calls. I'm popular."

Tsunade walked around the motorcycle, smiling at the sight of the young man digging through his cell phone, "Go on and get some rest for the time being. You're on medical leave until someone contacts you. It shouldn't be for a while after this last one."

Naruto climbed onto his bike excitedly, "Alright, I need to let some people know that I'm not dead, I'm out of here Tsunade-baa. I'll see you later okay?"

"You come back tomorrow before or after school and have me, Rin, or Shizune check you out again. And be careful on that thing brat, buy a helmet!" Tsunade nagged at him before he could leave abruptly.

Naruto started the engine and pulled off with a huge grin on his face, "Helmets are for losers! Later baa-chan!" The sound of Naruto's bike ripping out of the garage and off of the HQ property faded out quickly.

Tsunade smiled fondly at him being so fired up after getting back up from such a vicious beating like the one he took. She turned towards a far off corner and raised her voice, "So what are you going to do about him?"

In what appeared to be an empty garage, only filled with personal and company vehicles, one corner of the room shimmered to reveal Jiraiya standing there smiling at the blonde woman, "What do you think I'm going to do about him?"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him, "I'll tell you what you _better_ do about him pervert or so help me I'm going to-."

"Calm down Tsunade-hime." Jiraiya said to settle her down, "I'll run the idea by him when he comes back. Maybe he doesn't want me training him, did you ever think of that?"

A snort of amusement came from the busty medic, "Do you really think he would conceivably turn down the chance at learning anything from anyone? No matter what you do he's going to end up getting into more situations like the one in Taki, you might as well make sure he can actually defend himself the next time it happens."

Jiraiya sighed, "I know, but after Minato I don't think I have it in me to train another one, especially not him. I mean Naruto looks just like him, seriously, it's kind of creepy. Like a little Minato body-double."

Tsunade walked out of the room, "Whatever. You say all of that and act all tentative, but we both know that in the end you're going to do it. That's a bet even I would take."

Jiraiya mumbled under his breath, "If it's a bet you would take then the kid would never end up getting any training from me."

"What was that Jiraiya?" Tsunade's voice boomed back to him.

"N-Nothing Tsunade-hime!" Jiraiya stuttered out fearfully.

XxX

"Yeah, I'm fine teme." Naruto was on the phone as he pulled his motorcycle to a stop at the side of the road, "I'll tell you about what happened later, I've got someone to see right now." With that, Naruto hung up his phone and climbed off of his bike. He pulled his goggles from over his eyes to over his forehead as he walked over to the front gate and hit a button on the intercom.

"_Yes? Who is this?"_ An adult feminine voice sounded out over the line.

Naruto rubbed his nose with a grin, "It's Naruto. Can I come in Miss Setsuna?"

Setsuna's laugh echoed over the intercom, _"I've told you that you don't need to call me 'miss' or anything Naruto-kun, just Setsuna is fine. Yes, come on in, I'm unlocking the gate for you."_ After a moment a click noise signified that Naruto was allowed inside of the grounds of his girlfriend's family's home.

Before he even reached the door he could hear rapid footsteps coming from inside before the front door swung open, revealing the young woman he had come to see glaring at him with her red eyes and her hands on her hips. She didn't say a word, she just stood there glaring at him. Naruto grinned at her sheepishly, "Hey baby." He started laughing nervously, "This one really was the last one for a little bit. You aren't still mad at me are you?"

Kyuubi's angry face dropped and she ran over to Naruto who swept her up in a hug, "No, I'm not mad. A bunch of people called me and told me you were hurt, and then you didn't answer your phone. I was worried Naruto-kun."

Naruto rubbed her back soothingly, "I'm sorry Kyuubi-chan. I was out of it when I first got back and I didn't have my phone on me. Have you been okay while I was gone?"

Kyuubi rested her head on Naruto's shoulder as she let him rock her back and forth, "Mostly…" Naruto could feel the apprehension in her voice and she could tell when he loosened his hug on her, "I killed people Naruto-kun."

He felt her shiver slightly in his arms, "Have you talked to anyone about it?" She shook her head, "No one, not even your family?" She shook her head again, "Was anyone else there when it happened?" Her silence was all he needed to hear, "Alright, because of the fact that you wouldn't even know where to go to do something like this I'm going to go out on a limb and say Sasuke-teme was the one responsible for this. I'm going to kick his ass later."

"Don't pick with Sasuke." Kyuubi mumbled, "It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I wanted to show you I was strong but I guess I'm still weak aren't I?"

Naruto kissed the top of Kyuubi's head, "Being shaken up about killing someone doesn't make you weak Kyuu-chan, it makes you human. Come on, I need to go home and rest up with my wounds and I'm not leaving you alone right now. Either you're coming with me, or I'm going in there."

Kyuubi let out a small laugh, "That's not really a good idea Naruto-kun. My dad might not be home right now, but my mom is and she'll just grill you about us like last time when you were here."

Naruto picked up Kyuubi bridal style, holding back a grunt of pain from his injured ribs, and carried her in the house, "That's fine with me. You and your dad are the only ones that it still bothers. I find it hilarious, your mom loves me and she enjoys messing with you. I can't say I blame her." Despite his girlfriend's protesting squirms he refrained from setting her down until he had taken a seat on a couch in the living room.

Kyuubi saw the discomfort on Naruto's face as he shifted her around to his own comfort in his lap, "If I'm hurting you Naruto-kun you should let me up. Aggravating your injuries like that is only going to make things worse in the long run."

"Pssht." Naruto scoffed, keeping her in his lap, "I'm fine, even taking regular steps hurts me to walk so complaining about this would be like bitching about walking down the street."

"Language Naruto-kun." Kyuubi's mother chided as she walked into the room and leaned on the doorframe with a concerned look, "How are you doing sweetheart? We all heard that you had gotten hurt on your last little outing."

Naruto sighed, "It's manageable. No permanent scars and nothing that a little bed rest and a heavy dosage of prescription painkillers won't fix over time." His eyes panned over to Setsuna, "It's not what happened to me to make me lose that's messing with me or even that I lost in the first place; it's how simple that guy made it look. He made me look like I couldn't even throw a punch half-straight, like a rank amateur."

Kyuubi stroked his whisker-marks, "You'll get him next time Naruto-kun."

Naruto shook his head, "Not if next time is this time next week. If I saw that guy come back two years from now it would be too soon. I hit him full force and he didn't even flinch, he didn't even budge."

"Are you scared of him?" Kyuubi asked, "That's impossible, you're not scared of anyone. You know tons of people who are stronger than you and you've never been afraid before."

Naruto growled at the girl, "I'm not scared, I'm wary. And the people I know that are stronger than me are my friends. I don't have to worry about those people trying to kill me in my sleep. Even Zabuza, while a homicidal nutjob at times, he's still a friend of mine. I just need to get stronger and avoid people that can kill me. That sounds easy enough right?"

"You're scared." Kyuubi teased him sing-songingly with a grin, "You're so scared, I can smell the scaredy-cat on you right now. Your entire body is shaking you're so scared."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at her, "I'm not scared. And my body is shaking because I have you all pressed up against my broken ribs." A smirk crossed his face, "And even if I am scared of that guy, I'm not scared of you!" Naruto dumped her off of his lap onto the couch and started frantically tickling her.

Kyuubi refrained from kicking him off of her since she would just be reinjuring his ribs if she did, "Get off!" She shouted between her laughs. Naruto pinned her body under his and held her down while continuing his attack, "You know I'm going to get you back for this!"

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto said, not convinced whatsoever at her threat, "I'll let you up Kyuu-chan, all you have to do is call me Naruto-sama the Invincible."

"Naruto-baka the Fragile!" The she choked out before more laughter cut her off as Naruto's finger speed increased, "Naruto-teme the Delicate!"

Setsuna smiled from where she was standing, she was seemingly forgotten by the two teens. It was quite evident that whatever ire Kyuubi previously held for Naruto had vanished while he had been away, 'She hasn't smiled or laughed like that in over a week. Naruto is a good boy for her, she was never this happy until she met him.'

"I'm going to ask a question you blonde idiot, and you'd better answer correctly." Naruto and Kyuubi stopped their little game once a perturbed voice made itself known to all in the room and a minute amount of killing intent poured onto Naruto, "What in the hell do you think you're doing with my little girl?"

Naruto and Kyuubi both blinked and looked up to find her father Isshin glaring down at Naruto, his glasses only magnifying the glow of his red eyes. Naruto cleared his throat before answering, "Well I could say that I slipped but that would be a blatant lie so I'll be truthful. I was excited to spend time with her since I got back and I was tickling her, hoping that it would break down into us making out on your couch… sir."

Nodding at his answer, Isshin grew his index fingernail into a claw, "Wrong answer idiot, Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" Isshin sent a single blade of red energy at Naruto before he burst into smoke, replaced with a log with a groove cut into it that fell into Kyuubi's grasp.

The sound of a refrigerator closing attracted their attention to the kitchen where Naruto walked out next to Setsuna holding a bottle of water, "Never leave home without your log! Thank Kami I kept my backpack on and slightly unzipped when I came inside." He grinned over at his girlfriend's mother.

Kyuubi looked at the log in her hands, "Where on earth do you keep getting these things? Do you buy random piles of firewood and keep them in storage?" She sweatdropped when she saw him beam pridefully, giving her all the answer she needed right there.

Isshin cracked his knuckles, "I hate that Kawarimi (Substitution Jutsu) of yours so much." He ran at Naruto with his fist cocked back to throw a punch.

Naruto smirked and stayed in place, "You're going to hate this one too then." As the older man's fist collided with Naruto he again burst into smoke, only this time nothing appeared from it.

"Yo Isshin-tou, Setsuna-kaa!" Isshin rushed outside as his wife followed behind slower and far more entertained by the turn of events than her husband to find Naruto and Kyuubi sitting on his motorcycle, ready to go, "I'll have her back before it gets too late alright?" Not waiting for an answer, Naruto revved the bike up and pulled his goggles down on his face while his girlfriend waved to her parents gleefully.

"Get back here you little bastard!" Isshin charged at Naruto but too late, allowing Naruto to quickly pull off leaving a fuming father and an amused mother behind, "I hate that goddamn Kawarimi! You'd better hope you don't come back for training anytime soon brat!"

"Fruit of the Earth!" Naruto's voice yelled out over the sound of his bike's engine as he and Kyuubi disappeared down the street.

Isshin felt like bursting a blood vessel, "Gah, I hate that kid! I just want to punch him in the face!"

Setsuna came up behind her husband and rested her hands on his shoulders, "Oh you know you like him. And he lets you punch him in the face all the time dear. You're just overprotective. Naruto's a good kid and he makes your daughter happy."

Isshin marched his way back inside of the house, "He'd better not try making her _too happy_ or I'll just have to snap him in half."

"Oh I don't know." Setsuna teased, "I think it would be fun to get some grandchildren from them one of these days, and a wedding would be wonderful."

Isshin covered his ears with his hands, "They're barely fifteen woman! I need alcohol to get those images out of my mind now before I march off and murder the blonde idiot!" Setsuna followed him back inside, laughing to herself as she shut the door behind herself.

XxX

(Naruto's Apartment – One Hour Later)

Naruto simply lay in his bed shirtless with the TV going as background noise while Kyuubi fussed over his taped up ribs and ran her hands over his faintly chiseled figure.. Said girl had taken her shirt off, leaving her in a black bra, on the grounds that she should be able to feel at home in her boyfriend's house, and he was in 100% agreement . She was very grateful that she healed far faster than regular people did or else Naruto might have ran over to Sasuke's house and burned it to the ground once he saw the scar on her shoulder she had gotten from her little learning experience a few nights back.

While they had been there they had simply regaled one another with the tale of what both had done while Naruto was away. Naruto's story was very straightforward; 'I got a mission, I got my ass kicked, I failed epically, I got a motorcycle out of it.' Kyuubi's was longer and more intent with what she did. After she finished he simply held her and told her what she did was alright, that the first time he killed someone it was for a similar reason; bad people doing terrible things needed to die, eventually allowing her to fall asleep in his arms calmly with their legs intertwined.

Naruto simply watched her sleep peacefully on top of him as he ran his fingers gently through her hair. Naruto frowned at the thought of so many people being better than him. It was okay back when he didn't care about anything, he just wanted the killer paychecks. He didn't have anyone around him he needed to protect, but now he did. The fact that he was easily squashed held significant weight in his mind, especially going with the attempt on his life a while back. What if next time they sent someone closer to Kakuzu's level? Then he wouldn't stand a chance, and anyone that tried getting in the person's way would be the poor sucker that got run over in route to him.

Kyuubi woke up when she felt Naruto's hold on her get tighter, "What's the matter Naru-kun?" She asked him sleepily after looking through his blinds to see night had long since fallen.

Naruto loosened up on her after feeling he had woken her up, "Sorry, sorry. Just go back to sleep okay? I'll take the heat from Isshin about not bringing you back tomorrow or I can call him now." He picked up his phone and checked the time before cringing, "Yeah, it's after midnight, I'll take you home right now once you're ready to get up."

Kyuubi rubbed her eyes and shook her head before lying her head back down on Naruto's chest, trying to lull herself back to sleep with his heartbeat, "Why'd you space out like that? You don't seem like you slept at all and I know you haven't been laying here watching TV the whole time, you hate cable TV."

Naruto looked at the television and frowned, she was right, he did hate TV. He grabbed the remote and shut it off leaving the two of them in the silence, the only sound distinguishable was the passing of cars every so often outside of the window. Naruto finally spoke, "I ran that fight against Kakuzu through my head a thousand times and every time I do I feel like crap. I just can't stop thinking about it. He could have killed me, but I was so weak he figured it would be a waste of trouble. I've never felt so weak in my entire life."

Seeing Naruto in such a low-ball mood was a different experience for Kyuubi. She didn't really think he even had an off button so to speak or could feel out of it the way he currently was, he had never been sad or doubtful even once around her while she had known him for the past 10 months. She planted a loving kiss on his jaw, "Like you told me Naru-kun, you're not weak. If you're concerned about it just get stronger. I'll be right here with you, and I know that you're capable of being the strongest person in the world. You've got the desire to do it, all you need is the opportunity."

Holding her close enough to him that he could decipher the cherry smell of her shampoo, Naruto rubbed the bare skin on Kyuubi's back, "I'm never losing like that again Kyuu-chan. I swear to you right now, because next time I could be fighting for more than a stupid bottle of water. I could be fighting for Sasuke-teme, or Tsunade-baa, or any of my neechans… or you."

Kyuubi smiled up at him before her face turned rather serious, "But Naruto-kun if you ever end up fighting someone like that, someone you know can kill you before you even mount any kind of attack, I want you to run. I don't care what you do as long as you come back to me in one piece okay? You're important to me. I love you."

Naruto grinned widely at that. Hearing that always put a smile on his face but hearing her do her best to cheer him up made him come to a concrete conclusion, 'I'm going to protect you Kyuubi-chan. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I like it. As long as you love me I'll do everything I can for you.' Kyuubi's face merged into a smile directed at him before she climbed on top of him and kissed him heavily.

Naruto returned her kiss right on her lips and pulled her body close to his. The two broke apart with Kyuubi hovering over him looking into his eyes. Naruto stroked her cheek and took pleasure in his girlfriend's natural warmth from her skin, "I love you too Kyuubi-chan. I will for as long as you let me."

The girl beamed down at him before sitting straight up on top of him, holding his hands with her own and moving them towards her back where she placed them on the clasps of her bra.

Lemon Start

Naruto took her hint and unhooked the small piece of fabric, freeing Kyuubi's C-cup breasts from confinement, allowing her a sigh of relief, "That's so much better."

Naruto sat up with Kyuubi still straddling his lap topless, "It certainly is." Naruto started kissing on her neck and under her jaw, leaving visible red hickeys as he ran his hands over her chest. He began to roll her nipples between his fingers, getting Kyuubi to bite back a moan lest Naruto make some kind of stupid joke or something about it as he was prone to do from time to time.

"You're staying here with me tonight aren't you?" Naruto asked her in between kisses. It wasn't so much a question as it was more of a statement, both of them knew they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

'No, I'm just going to head on home right after we have sex so my dad can smell it all over me and come to kill you before sunrise.' Kyuubi thought to herself, but due to not really trusting her voice at the moment she just nodded and ran her fingers through his hair when she felt his mouth switch from her neck to her erect nipples. She managed to give him a semblance of payback when she ground her hips against his rigid member, getting him to groan in satisfied agony.

For the breast that didn't have Naruto's mouth sucking and nibbling lightly on it he gently squeezed and caressed it, taking care not to lose himself in a haze and hurt her in a panic of lust. Naruto smoothly rolled them over so that he was on top before he switched sides and rolled his tongue around Kyuubi's other nub while he ran his free hand down her toned stomach, stopping just short of the waist of her panties as he felt her beginning to pant.

"Naru-kun…" Kyuubi whispered in a low, needing voice, "Stop teasing me already." Kyuubi began to grind herself against Naruto's thigh in an attempt to sate the heat she was feeling below. Ever since shortly after they met Kyuubi had been teasing Naruto, but now that the positions had been switched she couldn't help but to find it mean of him. Couldn't he see how ready she was already.

Judging from the smirk on her face that she wanted to scratch right off, strangely enough it was also turning her on even more, he knew exactly what he was doing, "What's the matter Kyuu-chan?" He whispered in her ear. Kami she just wanted to punch him one good time in the ribs and take him right there, "You're breathing pretty hard, do you want me to stop?" Oh fuck him.

Kyuubi ran her hands gently up and down Naruto's back before sinking a knuckle right behind his ribs, hearing him exhale sharply she took advantage and flipped them over. She moved down his body and kissed his bandaged torso tenderly, "I'm sorry Naru-kun, but you shouldn't tease me like that. It's not fair." She continued kissing down his body before pulling the boxers right off of him, taking note of Naruto's 7 inch manhood that she roughly estimated.

Naruto sighed as he felt Kyuubi softly begin to stroke his length, "You tease me all the time. How are you saying I can't do it for once?"

Kyuubi smiled mischievously at him, "Exactly. I tease you all the time and that means that I'm way better at it than you." To emphasize her point, Kyuubi stuck her tongue out and slowly brought it agonizingly close to the head of Naruto's cock before pulling away, grinning widely at him. She giggled once she felt Naruto weakly glare at her before curling up at his side to lay her head on his thigh and fully taking him into her mouth.

Naruto groaned at the feeling of his girlfriend's warm mouth working him over, 'Isshin-sensei would murder me in my sleep if he knew this was happening.' Naruto stroked Kyuubi's hair as the sound of her slurping on his dick sounded out in his ears. She could only really take 4 inches of him in but she was very good with what she could handle, it's not like Naruto even had anything to compare it to either so how could he complain? They were both virgins.

He had been watching Kyuubi's backside go up and down along with her head the entire time and finally got sick of just laying there getting blown. Naruto reached over and grabbed Kyuubi's body before setting her lower half over his face, "Come here Kyuu-chan." Naruto pulled her panties down and saw Kyuubi's womanhood in all of its glory. He rubbed his nose against her core and gave it a kiss.

Kyuubi let Naruto's cock out of her mouth with a pop when she felt herself lifted over top of his face. She looked back at him inquisitively, "Naru-kun?" She said before letting out a moan once she felt herself be pulled down and Naruto's tongue brush across her lower lips. She kicked her panties off of the rest of her legs and ankles and enjoyed her lover's efforts to satisfy her.

Naruto eagerly took to eating Kyuubi's pussy, she willingly and graciously sucked his cock without question so it was only fair that he return the favor, and the fact that she tasted sweet only added incentive. If that was her reaction after he had just scratched the surface he wanted to hear her once he really got going on her. Naruto used the index and middle fingers on one hand to hold her snatch open while he darted his tongue in and out repeatedly. Kyuubi whimpered as she looked back at her dutiful boyfriend, her arms holding herself up almost gave out on her as a ripple of pleasure rolled through her body.

Kyuubi's mouth engulfed Naruto's manhood once again as she bobbed her head up and down. The vibrations from her own moans helped to magnify the effects of the blowjob she was giving him. Naruto inserted his index finger inside of the red-haired girl and slowly began to move it in and out. Naruto licked his lips at the sight of her glistening pussy as he kept moving his finger in and out of her before moving in to give her another taste.

Upon feeling Naruto's tongue enter her again she lost it once she felt his tongue begin to stimulate her clit. Visibly shaking, Kyuubi's juices spilled from her womanhood directly into Naruto's face. He caught what he could when it occurred, but a good amount of it splashed his chin and cheeks. After bringing her to climax, Naruto licked the inside of her thighs clean lovingly before she climbed off of his face and kissed him without hesitation, if it was good enough for him it was good enough for her too.

Kyuubi's tongue reached into Naruto's mouth and skillfully brought it into hers, allowing her to gently suck on it in the midst of their kiss while she once again played with his hair. Naruto pulled Kyuubi back on top of him, forcing her to straddle him, placing the flat of his cock against her folds. Kyuubi grinned through their kiss and began rocking her body back and forth, rubbing Naruto's dick against her still wanting cunt.

"So you'll love me for as long as I let you huh Naru-kun?" Kyuubi seductively spoke lowly as their lips barely touched, "Well that's going to be a long, long time. You know that you belong to me don't you?" She pushed herself straight up and positioned herself over his stick.

Naruto held his hands on her waist to help her out, "You've had me since the day we met. Only now you're actually taking advantage of it." He held her right as he was about to penetrate her, "Are you sure?"

Kyuubi frowned down at him, "I've waited long enough. You couldn't talk me out of this even if you wanted to." She took a deep breath and descended on top of him visibly flinching once she buried every inch of him inside. Naruto pulled her down and held her close to his body while she bit down on his neck sharply. He ignored the trace amount of blood running from the wound on his neck instead whispering to her soothingly and kissing her softly, thankful that at least she wasn't crying after popping her cherry.

Eventually the pain faded and Kyuubi pushed herself up on Naruto's chest, keeping herself balanced by holding onto his shoulders, "Help me Naru-kun." She asked him as she started to bounce up and down on top of him. Naruto placed his hands on her shapely hips and helped propel her up and down. For Kyuubi after the pain of breaking her hymen faded to a dull feeling, she felt that Naruto fit her perfectly. Every motion she made let her feel deliciously full, and all she hoped was that Naruto was getting the same pleasure out of it she was beginning to take.

Naruto had thought that there wasn't anything that could feel better than Kyuubi's mouth, but that was before he had felt himself fully buried inside of the beautiful girl. The warmth he felt surrounding his member from her inner walls almost made him instinctually thrust upwards into her but due to this being her first time he held himself back despite the aching feeling in his lower extremities telling him to simply take what he wanted from her.

A low rumbling noise from the back of Kyuubi's throat triggered something inside of her boyfriend and made Naruto's cock throb. She was looking up intently at the ceiling, mouthing 'oh my Kami' repeatedly under her breath. Naruto lowered his hands from her waist and started kneading her backside before giving one of her cheeks a healthy slap.

Kyuubi's head immediately snapped down to look him in his eyes to find him smirking at her. Kyuubi gave him a challenging look along with an equal smirk on her own face and she stopped bouncing on him and climbed off moving her butt towards him. She looked over her shoulder as she wagged her backside invitingly, "So you think you're a stud Naru-kun? Come here and show me what you've got."

Naruto sat up and made his way over to her on his knees. He reached under her and lightly fingered her, feeling how wet she was and seeing the hungry look in her eyes. Kyuubi bit her lip at the sensation, "Fuck me already…" She let out a sharp yelp when she felt Naruto's hand strike her ass once again. She glared back at him only to moan when she felt him massaging the spot he had offended with the slap.

"I'm sorry Kyuubi-chan." Naruto replied genuinely, "I thought you would like that."

Her cheeks tinted red before she breathily responded, "Well I-I didn't hate it. Just fuck me, okay? That's what I really want right now." She felt Naruto slide inside of her from behind and slowly begin thrusting in and out, granting her wish.

Naruto held on to her hips and thrust his rod in and out of his lady love slowly, "Okay Foxy-chan, we can work spanking and other stuff in later." The pace of the love making steadily increased as the sound of Naruto's balls hitting against Kyuubi's pussy let him know just how deep inside of her he was.

Kyuubi's arms grew tired of holding herself up and she stretched back, wrapping one arm under Naruto's neck for support as he continued to pound into her. Kyuubi's free hand moved down to her currently being abused pussy where she began to rub whatever she could touch, 'To hell with dad. If he wants to lay a hand on my Naru-kun he'll have to try it over my dead body.'

Naruto kissed the back of Kyuubi's neck and whispered sweet nothings into her ear when he felt Kyuubi tighten around him and her body grow rigid, her mouth open in a silent scream. She then started breathing heavily, "I came… Thank you again… thank you so much." Kyuubi had a handful of her own love juices from rubbing herself and curiously moved her hand to her own mouth before Naruto's hand grabbed her wrist, bringing it back to him where he licked her fingers clean of the bodily liquid.

Kyuubi pouted at Naruto and moved her pussy around his cock, getting his attention, "No fair Naru-kun. I don't know how I taste."

Naruto grinned at her, "Sorry, I can tell you that you're absolutely delectable thought, but I can show you too." Naruto turned her face towards him as far as he could and gave her a blistering kiss where he nearly shoved his tongue down her throat.

After a bit he drew back, leaving his girlfriend breathless as she smacked her lips, "I… don't taste that bad actually." Naruto accentuated that with another kiss. That slowly broke down into them making out over her shoulder until she felt Naruto still thrusting into her slowly, "You didn't cum?"

Naruto shook his head blankly before finding himself shoved off of her back onto the bed, "Kyuu-chan?"

"Well that won't do." She crawled between his legs to grab his hard dick, "I got mine twice, and you didn't get off once. I'm so greedy aren't I?" She gave him one long lick from base to head.

"You're not greedy baby." Naruto assured her.

Kyuubi winked at him, "Yes I am. Because I didn't make you cum. I want to know what you taste like now." She quickly began pumping her hand up and down his shaft and sucking him off at the same time. She worked even harder once she heard him say her name. Naruto was in a daze once she got started but once she spoke with her mouth wrapped around his tool he lost it. He could see her looking into his eyes and heard her mumble out 'I love you.' That was all it took for Naruto to blow his load right in Kyuubi's mouth. She pulled away after the first burst and ended up taking a splash of white cream on her nose.

She quickly swallowed and wiped the cum off of her nose before licking it off and smiling, "It's really salty, but it's not really bad." She licked the rest of his penis clean without a second thought and gave one of his balls a suck once she finished.

She crawled up to Naruto's head where he greeted her with a kiss. Kyuubi beamed at him and lay her head down on his chest, rubbing circles on his bandaged chest with her index finger, "I do really love you Naru-kun. I mean it."

Naruto kissed her on the top of her head and grabbed the comforter, pulling it over both of them, "I know. And I mean it when I say I love you too." He smiled when she yawned cutely and closed her eyes, "I love you Kyuubi-chan."

* * *

Character Profile 1

Name: Naruto Uzumaki

Nickname: Naruto-sama (self-given), The Sexual Intellectual (self-given), The Future of Kaisha Hein (self-given), Dobe (by Sasuke), Naru-kun (by Kyuubi), The Suntanned Superman (self-given).

Age: 15 (Birthday: October 10th)

Height/Weight: 5'7/ 155 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Half-demon blood, blonde spiky hair, blue eyes, more tanned skin tone than is normal for the region, leans towards powerful ninjutsu, fails epically at any form of illusionary technique, extreme levels of stamina and high threshold for pain, three whisker-like markings on both cheeks, direct combat skill, advanced physical strength, infiltration skill, unpredictable hand-to-hand fighting skills, mild sociopathic tendencies.

Likes: Kyuubi-chan, Sasuke-teme, Haku-neechan, Rin-neechan, Mikoto-kaasan, Kakashi-niisan, Red Bull, Mountain Dew, cheap food (instant ramen, cups not packets), fighting, money, orange, spontaneous debauchery, large explosions, fast vehicles, Kawarimi no Jutsu.

Dislikes: Boredom, Obito-niisan, cold ramen, the 3 minutes it takes to cook ramen, cowardice, senseless violence, diet soda, being broke, douchebags, expensive restaurants with regular food, school, the majority of the Konohagakure Police Force, pointless rules.

Theme Song: "My Turn" by Hoobastank (Wishes it was "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" by Weezer).

Notes: A mysterious orphan from birth with no knowledge of his origins, even his 'artificial' hanyo lineage, Naruto has aspired to join the private military company in his city, Kaisha Hein, since he could form coherent thought. Hardened and conditioned by spending his formulative years in Konoha's lower class sectors fending for himself for the most part, he has an intense survival instinct, a hard-nosed sense of personal justice and mischief as well as an inherent dislike for the rules set by those that enforce them as well as a disdain for the haves that flaunt their assets to the have-nots. Very outspoken and marginally disrespectful due to his lack of traditional social upbringing, he does not take well to orders from those he has not developed a personal respect for and is prone to physical conflict even in the most unsavory of locations… with anyone… regardless of age or social status compared to himself. He delights in provoking the people around him by publically accentuating a block-headed persona and responding to almost any question with sarcasm and gutter-mouth wit. He is also very loyal to his friends and comrades due to an early life of minimal contact with those that care for him. Due to his life of different degrees of combat he has developed a competent soldier's IQ and knowledge of the battlefield making him dangerous for enemies anywhere near his age or level of ranking to engage in combat.

Quote: "I'm only going to tell you this one time with all the humility I can possibly summon up; my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am the _greatest_ fighter that has _ever _lived, period. You will not beat me so save yourself the pain and humiliation and save me the time and the chance of breaking my hand on your face and just walk away. You're not getting paid enough to deal with me, trust me."

"Insanity is relative to personal normality."

"Excuse me could you repeat that? I think I had something crazy in my ear."

"I used to train and spar with Zabuza and Obito drunk all of the time. My reasoning being; if I was going to get into a streetfight I was probably going to be drunk _anyway_ and I wanted to be prepared."

"Don't you ever… _ever_… **EVER**! Diss the orange! Do you understand me? And if I hear you say a single fucking word about ramen I swear to Kami I will shove my foot so far up your ass you could hang yourself with my shoelaces!"

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me OWNING YOUR FACE!"

"Have you ever been bitch-slapped with 50000 ryo? Do you want to be?"

Character Profile 2

Name: Sasuke Uchiha

Nickname: Sasuke-teme (by Naruto and to a lesser extent Kyuubi), Super-cop (by Naruto), Deputy (by Naruto), foolish little brother/otouto (by Itachi), Konoha's Future Protector, The Kid with the Spinning Red Eyes (low level criminals).

Age: 15 (Birthday: July 23rd)

Height/Weight: 5'8/151 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Sharingan kekkei genkai, black eyes (unless using Sharingan), black hair shaped like a fowl's rear end (do not mention this to him though), finely honed reflexes and reaction time, incredible skill with throwing weapons and wire techniques, observational and deductive skills, tremendous willpower and tenacity, son of Chief of Police Fugaku Uchiha and younger brother of Head Detective Itachi Uchiha, Information gathering skills (both investigative and torture/interrogation), highly adaptive, well-versed in all forms of combat.

Likes: Training, quiet walks, tomatoes, victory, getting a lead, fire, large explosions, large _fiery_ explosions, Kaa-san, Itachi-niisan, classic metal, quick conversations, difficult assignments, learning new jutsu.

Dislikes: Orochimaru, heedless criminals, weakness, fangirls, sweets of all kinds, corruption, loud people, nu-metal, losing, secrets, useless information.

Theme Song: "Cowboys From Hell" by Pantera

Notes: Born into the family of the most prolific volunteers in Konohagakure's Police Force, Sasuke is a police force trainee taken under the wing of his father Fugaku and older brother Itachi. He has shown inherent talent in all forms of police work, guaranteeing him a high spot on the force once he comes of age and is formally allowed to join. Even now he assists in cases and takes personal responsibility in arresting and bringing in criminals he comes across. His relationship with Naruto is complicated and forged over years of contact with one another. Both consider the other to be their brother through some twisted way of respect and friendship years in the making, thus making each other the go-to-guy for any situation the other may need assistance with. He has skill in combat due to intense training with his father and brother and ultra-violent sparring sessions with Naruto. Despite his profession he finds himself walking the fine line between police officer and mercenary with his interactions with Naruto due to the shades of grey nature their escapades usually end up in. Sasuke's personality among those he does not trust or perceive as friends is cold, aloof, and uncaring, but among friends and allies such as Naruto and Kyuubi, Sasuke has a marked sense of humor and fun, a silver tongue and a quick wit able to go tit for tat with Naruto in any argument although his blonde friend's mental facilities more often than not irritate him beyond the point of coherent response.

Quote: "I could tell you that I'm better than you, and that this is going to end badly for you all around, but if you're like everyone else I've ever fought you're going to deny it and then you're going to try and fight me… and then I'm going to kick you in the face a couple dozen times until the pretty red liquid stops pouring out and put some sparkly, silver bracelets on your wrists. Maybe I'll even get you a nice ride in the back of one of those cars with the funny lights on top. Would you like that? Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Don't make me arrest you…"

"So many losers, so few handcuffs."

"I've got a mass cell with a communal toilet all for you… and fifteen other guys. I know statistically that at least a few of you are into that so why don't you just surrender peacefully?"

"Don't drop the soap. Other than handing out that gem of knowledge there isn't anything I can do for you now."

"Hm."

Character Profile 3

Name: Kyuubi Yoko

Nickname: Kyuu-chan (by Naruto), Everyone's Favorite Vixen (self-given), Naruto's Girlfriend (by Sasuke, used derogatorily)

Age: 15 (Birthday: December 2nd)

Height/Weight: 5'3/ could not be determined due to fear of personal well-being. (Safest estimation: just over 100 lbs… and if asked, I didn't say shit.)

Special Skills/ Traits: Half-demon blood, a quick study in combat, illusionary skill, agile and light on her feet in battle, blood red hair with black colored bangs, distinctive red eyes, tanned skin, a myriad of various techniques at her disposal, tenacity, can easily ascertain the emotions and true intentions of the people around her, innovative attacks, slight bloodlust.

Likes: Naruto-kun, Mom, Dad, foxes, flirting and/or teasing, Cherry Coke, long baths/showers, sleeping, learning new things, things that are easy, fighting, feeling excited or energized, leaving others speechless, spicy food.

Dislikes: Suffering, shallow women, being confused, stupid people, prudes, strong smells, loud irritating noises, her old school, people that drink and eat diet products but do not actively exercise, dieting.

Theme Song: "Butterfly" by Superbus

Notes: Kyuubi is a young teenage girl that has recently moved from an outlying town near the capital city of Hi no Kuni to the city of Konohagakure no Sato. Her boyfriend is Naruto Uzumaki, the first person to befriend her in her new surroundings as well as a fellow hanyo of kitsune decent, though unlike her his origins are shrouded in mystery. She has aspired to help him in any way she can in his life, be it fighting alongside him or simply being there for him as his lover. She is very upbeat and friendly, however can be prone to flashes of anger usually revolving around Naruto himself. With Naruto she has no trouble flaunting her body or teasing/bribing him with possibility of rewards of a physical nature. Like her boyfriend she has a taste for sarcasm and snide comments, though her language is noticeably less vulgar in comparison. In battle her main aim is to keep her enemies off balance with illusions and trick techniques as she maneuvers about to cut her opponents to ribbons with her claws or incapacitate them. While not on Naruto's level when it comes to all around combat skill she is very good in the facets she chooses to focus on and is more technically polished than he is.

Quote: "You should enjoy the ass-kicking I'm about to give you since it will probably be the closest thing to an intimate touch from a beautiful woman you'll ever get without paying for it… especially after I'm through with you."

"There's only one man I'll ever let touch me like that, and if your name doesn't double for fishcake then you don't qualify."

"I'm ten times better than any girl you'll ever get, especially since all of the candidates are imaginary… and I'm still hotter than them."

"I'm twice the lover that I am a fighter… Lucky you."

"Even if by some miracle you beat me Naruto's just going to find out and then he's going to kill you in the most painful, humiliating way possible and take pictures of it… So for your own well-being you should just quit."

* * *

**Hmm… I'm going to start doing character profiles for the hell of it. Why not? Every chapter I'll throw in a few for fun. Maybe it will help get across the universe I'm operating this story in.**

**Anyway, I'm bored. Ain't nobody updating shit worth me taking time out of my day to read and respond positively to. I assume it's because of fall exams, however I'm updating… maybe that's because I don't study I cram… if I even find it beneficial to exert that much effort. Whatever, I'll deal.**

**Kenchi out. I've got a whole lot of stuff to not take interest in that requires my immediate attention.**


	32. Why Bother?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I need to look for people that know how to forge Masashi Kishimoto's signature on Craigslist and so I can remedy that.

**Chapter 32: Why Bother?**

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Naruto and Kyuubi were sitting on his couch, the girl seated in her boyfriend's lap, simply watching TV. Neither really found it necessary to be entirely clothed at the time with Naruto simply in a pair of grey shorts and Kyuubi in a black t-shirt and panties. Naruto let out a sigh, "I'm so bored Kyuubi-chan." Naruto groaned, "Can I tr-."

"No Naru-kun you can't train." Kyuubi told him for what must have felt like the ten-thousandth time, "I was here to answer the door when Shizune told me to make sure you kept getting rest. You're going to be a good boy and sit here with me for the rest of the day."

"Okay…" Naruto conceded before adding on, "But can we-."

"We can't have sex either Naru-kun." That produced a loud whine from the blonde underneath Kyuubi who smirked at his displeasure, "You're not being good enough for me to reward you again. Just calm down, and relax. Can you relax for me? You're never going to heal up from your rib injury if you don't." She gave him a peck on the cheek and got off of his lap, "Now what do you want for lunch?"

"You." He replied under his breath.

"I heard that you pervert." Kyuubi called back to him as she started going through his cabinets, "Be good."

Naruto rolled his eyes as he watched her move around his kitchen, "I'm always good Kyuu-chan." Kyuubi looked over at him with a deadpan face from the counter in the kitchen and moved the hair around her neck out of the way to show a bite mark, "That shouldn't count. You liked it when I did it."

A giggle came from the girl in the kitchen, "Well… maybe a little bit. Now what do you want to eat?"

Naruto thought for a moment, "What do I even have?"

Kyuubi revealed the contents of his cabinet to him in a deadpan voice, "Ramen, ramen, ramen… Let's just start off by saying a ton of ramen. Then you have packets of tuna, crackers, an empty box of cereal, three cans of tomato soup, a bag of potato chips, a bag of tortilla chips with no salsa or dip of any kind, a bag of bread with the front and back slices in it only, peanut butter… Kami Naru-kun you really need a woman to help you go shopping."

Naruto shrugged and stood up to walk into the kitchen, "I live by myself. Do I look like I can cook elaborate stuff? Basic easy to make food is all I can do and it's kept me alive so far."

"Yes honey, but you have a girlfriend now." Kyuubi purred as she pulled Naruto against her for a hug, "And I plan on staying over here more and more once my parents are a-ok with it so don't worry about it, I'll make sure you actually get some real food in you from time to time."

Naruto smiled while he held her in his arms, "You're going to want to put some pants on Kyuu-chan."

"Why?" She asked him as she felt like falling asleep in his touch.

Naruto grinned and grabbed a hold of her backside, "Because the more clothes you have on the less incentive I have to take them all off." He laughed when he felt her smack his chest, "Well you asked me why."

Kyuubi broke the hug and headed back towards his bedroom, "Fine, I'm going to shower and get dressed." Her head poked out of his room, "Do not follow me into the bathroom." She said firmly to her blonde boyfriend.

Naruto sighed and grabbed his phone off of the coffee table and decided to give a call back to one of his friends that had left a message, "Hey Shikamaru."

"_How troublesome… Naruto you idiot, why didn't you tell us if you were okay or not any sooner? No one's heard anything from you except for Sasuke and he's just now telling us he heard you were in one piece yesterday."_

"Sorry, I couldn't get to my phone until yesterday. How are all of you doing after what happened?" Naruto asked as he turned his TV down so he could hear.

A sigh came from the other line, _"Long story short; Ino's dad was pissed off until Sakura told everyone just what you had to fight. We're all fine, we got out without any problems. We brought your motorcycle back too."_

Naruto grinned, "Yeah I noticed. It sucks you guys got dragged into all of that, but it's good to know that you're all okay. As you've probably noticed by now, it being 3 in the afternoon, I decided to skip today."

"_I'm surprised you can even speak right now without a lot of effort. You were pulverized when we saw you. You really freaked Sakura out Naruto, she's upset about it."_

Naruto frowned, "Well if you see her before I do just tell her I'm fine. I should be there myself tomorrow so I'll take care of it myself. I'm sure seeing everything that happened that day left her pretty shell-shocked. What about you, Chouji, and Ino."

"_Me and Chouji kind of figured that you being a mercenary meant that you would be doing stuff like that so we're not too shaken up. We got over it pretty fast with the fight we had to do and everything, Ino did too. It's really just Sakura that's feeling the strain from it all."_

"Alright." Naruto said as he stood up off of his couch, "I'll see you all soon. Take care."

"_Yeah whatever. Get better you idiot."_

Naruto ended the call there and headed back to his room to change so that he could take Kyuubi home. He was seriously hoping that her parents weren't too angry that he didn't bring her home last night, and he sincerely hoped that they didn't notice that she and him had partaken in a certain activity as well. He probably still smelled of her and Isshin would pick that up in a heartbeat, 'I need to take a very good shower or risk being killed.'

XxX

(Three Hours Later)

Naruto pulled his bike over in front of Kyuubi's house with the girl holding her arms around his waist to stay on, "You're not going to come in Naru-kun?"

Naruto, with his goggles on, chuckled and looked at her over his shoulder, "I would, but if your parents are upset then I'd rather not die right after spending my night with an angel." He gave her a kiss on the lips and let her off of the motorcycle.

Kyuubi backed away with a smile on her face, "Just take it easy okay? You're still hurt. Call me tonight?"

Naruto gave her a salute, "You've got it Kyuu-chan. Love you, okay?"

"Love you too Naru-kun." She replied, "Now you'd better get going. Dad can hear your bike and he's probably barreling towards the door as we speak." She turned her head around, "Speak of the devil…" Isshin had opened the front door with a murderous look on his face.

"You!" Isshin yelled at Naruto pointing a shaky finger at him, "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

Setsuna came out of the house with a displeased look on her face directed at her husband, "Oh calm down and hush up." She turned to Naruto and gave him a wave, "Hello Naruto-kun, it's good to see you!" Naruto waved right back.

"Dad calm down." Kyuubi said as she walked through the gate towards the door, "Naru-kun and me just lost track of time last night and I decided to stay over. It was no big deal." A blatant lie that she was hoping his anger at Naruto would help him ignore before he tried to pry, "You know I've done it before when he was sick or hurt."

Isshin stewed at Naruto from a distance as he watched the boy wave once more before pulling off from in front of their house. Kyuubi shook her head at her father's antics before heading inside where she found herself pulled aside by her mother, "Mom? What's the matter?"

"So how was he?" Setsuna said with a knowing grin.

Kyuubi blushed and looked away, "He was… really good. But how did you know? Dad doesn't does he?"

Setsuna let out a laugh, "No he doesn't know. It's a mother's responsibility to feel the changes in her daughter and you feel especially calm, content, and evenly balanced today. More so than you did yesterday." She pulled her daughter into a tight hug, "Ooh it's only going to be a matter of time before my baby is having babies! I wonder if they'll be blondes or red-heads. Oh, I hope they get Naruto-kun's whisker marks, they're so cute!"

Kyuubi was crying anime tears while caught in her mother's inhumanly strong grasp as she babbled on about grandchildren and her new son-in-law.

XxX

(The Next Day – South Konoha High School)

Naruto sat at his desk with a twitch in his eye as Sakura continuously checked his person over for injuries of the grievous variety. His eyes kept darting over to his girlfriend for any help at all, 'Come on woman! Get pissed! Get jealous! At least hear my mental cries to get the girl off of me, come on!' Naruto finally had enough, "Sakura that's enough! I'm fine, they patched me up good and all that's left is for my ribs to heal up. I'm doing great."

Sakura pulled away with a concerned look still on her face, "But, but you were so messed up. I thought you were going to die before we even got you back to town. That guy in the mask beat you so badly."

Naruto rubbed his ribs, "Yeah, I remember. Thanks for bringing up my most crushing defeat. I couldn't even make that bastard flinch, and I know he scared the hell out of you. Sorry Sakura." Sakura gave him a light tap and left her hand on his head, "Sakura?"

Sakura had a light smile on her face, "What are you apologizing for baka? Nothing that happened was your fault, and how can you apologize for getting beaten up? I just had a little scare that's all, you were the one looking like he was knocking on death's door."

"Well isn't that nice." Kiba said from his own seat with a toothy grin, "Naruto gets the shit kicked out of him and we all welcome him back with open arms and a pat on the back."

Naruto glared at Kiba, "Fuck you Kiba. I'll never lose again. Besides I can still kick your ass, even with busted up ribs."

Kiba stood up at his desk, "Anytime you want it you ass, I'm right here!"

Naruto placed his hand on the desk, "Sit down before I have to get up and leave permanent boot prints on your ass. It's not the time or the place for it Kiba, but since when have I ever cared about that?"

"Naru-kun." Kyuubi said straightforwardly while showing him a fingertip with blue fire on it, "I have absolutely no problems setting you on fire if it gets you to stop doing stupid things while you're hurt. You're lucky I let you ride the motorcycle."

Naruto visibly deflated, "Alright Kyuubi-chan." He said before going somewhat back to normal, "Hey, you know that you like the motorcycle just as much as I do. You'd be just as pissed off as me if I couldn't ride it. It's at HQ right now though. I have Tenten working on it, and I'm bleeding my account dry but it should be worth it."

"You have a motorcycle?" Kiba asked in disbelief, getting nods out of all of his friends, "How can you even ride it?"

"Because I'm awesome?" Naruto said, "That and ID's for mercenaries are as good as a 'do-whatever-you-like' license. I can drive anything legally." He looked at Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, and Sakura, "Thanks for making sure it got back by the way. I'm going to drive that thing to death as soon as I get a friend of mine to finish fixing it up the way I want it to be."

Ino looked around the room, "Where's Sasuke-kun? He was here yesterday."

Naruto smirked, "The Deputy is finally taking after my own shining example. He's finally choosing to skip school for once. I'm so proud of him." He said, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

Hearing that got Kyuubi to give him a look of scrutiny, "Speaking of which, you _are_ the real Naruto aren't you?" Naruto began to sweat under her stern gaze, "You'd seriously better be. Exams are coming up in one week and your ass needs to be here for the review."

Before Naruto could open his mouth Kiba answered in his place, "It's one of those clones of his… They're here so much I can smell the difference by now." Kiba grinned at the sight of Kyuubi's fireball spiking

'Naruto' groaned to his girlfriend, "Come on Kyuubi-chan, school is so boring! And my Kage Bunshin give the memories of what they do right back to me when they dispel. That way I can do useful stuff during the day and still make sure I don't leave you alone in the hell that is our public school system."

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes and glared at him, "I'm going to make you pay after school."

'Naruto' blinked and looked at all of his friends before looking back at Kyuubi, "'Make me pay' in a good way? Or 'make me pay' in a bad way?"

"What do you think?" She said in a tone that was basically calling him an idiot.

Naruto stroked his chin, "Well… I know that you mean in the bad way, but on the other hand I _wish_ that you meant it in the good way. Maybe if I believe with all of my heart that it's going to be in the good way then you'll punish me in the good way." Naruto finished solemnly, "That's what I believe at least."

Kiba patted Naruto on the shoulder, "It's good to have such a positive mindset against such insurmountable odds as a man. It's inspirational." Shikamaru and Chouji nodded in the background.

Naruto looked at him hopefully, "So there's a chance that's going to work?"

Kiba backed away, "Oh hell no. I live with my mom and sister and that kind of logic winds up getting your ass kicked. Good luck with that though." He then pointed behind Naruto where Kyuubi was radiating killing intent.

The Kage Bunshin slumped down in his chair, "Kyuu-chan if you hit me and dispel me then boss won't learn anything today and he'll definitely fail the exams next week. Can't you just wait until after school and then go hunt him down and kick his ass?" He could see the wheels turning in her head over whether or not to hit him so he decided to give it one little push, "I can guarantee that he'll last longer than one hit if you do."

"Fine." The red-haired vixen finally said, "You have until right when that bell rings and then I want to use you to send Naru-kun a message. Do not ditch me at school." The clone gulped and turned forward in his seat, unable to make eye contact with Kyuubi for the rest of the day.

XxX

(With Naruto)

"What did you need my help with Deputy?" Naruto said as he walked with Sasuke down the street with the black-haired teen, "We all know that my ass is going to be kicked thoroughly once Kyuubi-chan realizes that I'm not really there so this better be well worth the hellacious beatdown that I'm going to undoubtedly be taking once it's all said and done."

Sasuke simply kept his eyes forward on the road with his hands in his pockets, "Just come on already. I guarantee that you're going to like what I've got for you, so you can thank me later. For now just shut up and keep walking. "

Naruto glared at him from the corner of his eye, "I need to get you a girlfriend so you can see exactly what I'm talking about when I say I'm going to get my ass kicked. The strongest man in the world is still a little boy in the face of his significant other."

Sasuke scoffed, "Where did you get that, a fortune cookie?"

Naruto shook his head, "Nope, your Uncle Obito. Now I'm not going to ask you again, where are we going or should I just start heading home now and awaiting my inevitable fate?" Sasuke pointed across the street where Naruto's eyes stopped and widened, "No, no, no. Fuck no. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Please tell me you're kidding me!" Naruto basically pleaded to his buddy.

Sasuke smirked, "Sorry dobe, but this is where we're going today. Today you will be spending the day among Konoha's finest." With that, Sasuke walked across the street towards the police precinct clearly in sight.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, still standing in place, "That's like me walking into a hornet's nest, you know this right?"

Sasuke stopped in the middle of the street and turned around, "Have you done anything illegal that you're a prime suspect for lately?" Naruto shook his head, "Do you have any outstanding warrants that you keep dodging when other cops try to serve you?" This time Naruto took a second to think before shaking his head, "Do you have a probation officer that you've been sending Kage Bunshin to go see instead of going yourself?"

Naruto gave Sasuke a deadpan look, "I haven't had a probation officer in three years and that was Itachi. Go fuck yourself."

Sasuke turned back towards the station and kept walking, "Then you'll be fine. You're with me. My dad isn't even stationed at this one so it's alright."

Naruto followed him with a lack of spirit over to the police precinct, "Yeah, but you're also forgetting about the fifty other members of your family that want to kill me or lock me in a deep, dark, hole."

"Like I said, you're with me." Sasuke said as he led him through the front door. The two boys caught the eye of every officer in the station as Sasuke led Naruto past each desk and each office. Naruto grinned nervously at each person looking at him and each Uchiha that had turned their Sharingan on just to intimidate him… right until Sasuke turned his on and glared right back.

Naruto patted Sasuke on the shoulder to get him to stop, "It's alright Deputy. I'm used to it by now. Don't go black sheep over this whole thing the way Obito-nii did. Just remember, they can glare all they want, they won't lay a hand on me." Naruto turned to them all with a wide grin, "They know I'm untouchable as long as they don't have jack on me."

Sasuke nodded and the two continued on towards lock-up. Sasuke looked back at Naruto, "Was that true? What you said about Obito-ojisan? Was he really outcast from the clan and the police force because of you?"

Naruto shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, "Well it wasn't just me, but I was the last straw he said. It happened before we were 11, when I was getting locked up like every other week for one thing or another. They told him to remove himself from my life and he basically told your old man to go fuck himself, and that was that."

"Wow… I don't know why I didn't ask you right when it happened." Sasuke said as he scanned his ID card and opened a security door.

Naruto followed his friend through and answered his question, "Because you and I were arbitrarily at each other's throats back then. All you ever used to say to me was 'hm', 'dobe', or some unintelligible combination of the two when we weren't punching each other in the face. You're the reason half the school's female population hates me, which makes the idiot boys of school hate me because they want to get on the chicks' good sides."

"Hm." Sasuke replied, "I didn't need any of those harpies to fight my battles for me. What could those weak gaggles of hanger-ons possibly do to you anyway?"

Naruto started listing off things on his fingers as the kept heading deeper into the station, "Lie about shit that happened to get me suspended. Get their punk-ass boy-toys to try and fight me, I didn't mind that too much, they were all weak. Screech at me whenever we had those face-offs in school, rendering me deaf for the moment. Do I need to keep going?"

"Nope." Sasuke said with a sweatdrop, "Point well proven." Sasuke's face returned to normal as they reached a certain locker that Sasuke pulled out the key for, "Here we go. The reason for the season so to speak."

Naruto watched Sasuke open the locker and pull out a small black backpack that he placed on his back before walking away to exit the station. Naruto followed Sasuke out with a look of disbelief on his face, "That was it? That was why you dragged me into this lion's den? For a goddamn sack of mystery that you could have gotten all by yourself?"

Once they reached the street, Sasuke started walking, moving slow enough for Naruto to catch up to him and give him an expectant look, "This was some of the contraband that was picked up on a raid on a hideout just outside of town. It turns out that what was in here wasn't really illegal so they put it up for auction among other officers and I ended up winning it."

Naruto grinned, "Wow Deputy. How much of the winnings you got from our little trip to Tanzaku Gai did that cost you?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Not that much really. The only ones that were in the auction against me were other Uchiha that didn't unlock their Sharingan yet. The others just wait to fight criminals that know jutsu so they can gleam techniques from them. I really think that me and Itachi are the only ones that really train."

Naruto nodded with a satisfied look, "And that's why you two are the only ones that I haven't completely made look the complete ass after beating the shit out of you. The rest of your family are pushovers compared to you, your dad, and your brother. Obito-nii kicks my ass too, and he only has one eye." He looked at the black backpack, "So what's in there?"

Sasuke smirked, "A mystery batch of jutsu of all kinds. And who better to share the wealth with than my best friend?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke completely seriously, "If it wouldn't make me a completely flaming homosexual, wouldn't get me tortured and then murdered by your fanclub, and if I didn't have the hottest girlfriend in school who's just given me full rights to tap that I would probably be inclined to kiss you right now." He narrowed his eyes, "All three of those things are combined factors leading to the aforementioned ultimatum you understand? That was not me saying anything gay… Not that there's anything wrong with being gay." He turned down the street, "You'd tell me if you were gay wouldn't you teme? I mean it wouldn't change anything, I would just need to know if my best friend was gay."

Sasuke palmed his face as he could just feel the people turning their heads towards their conversation, "For the love of Kami dobe shut up."

Naruto chuckled and placed his hands behind his head, "Alright, you've led me around the city enough, I've got some stops to make and maybe we can get to work on those scrolls while we're at one of the places." Naruto then paused and grabbed Sasuke before running to the rooftops, "Get off the street now."

Sasuke jerked his way out of Naruto's grip and adjusted his shirt, "Why did you just drag me up the side of a building and look like someone's going to fire-bomb your house?"

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, "Because Kyuubi-chan found out I wasn't at school and she did something horrible to my Kage Bunshin once school let out. There is no way I'm getting busted after what she did and now that I know that you're toting around a bag of jutsu. Now keep a low profile and keep your eyes on the streets."

XxX

(With Kyuubi and the others)

Shikamaru, Kiba, and Chouji kept their distance from Kyuubi and the other girls who seemingly had no problems with staying by the redhead. Kiba unconsciously kept his legs crossed as he and the other boys kept a fair distance behind her, "Um, Kyuubi? Don't you think that was a little overboard, even for a clone? Clones feel pain too."

Chouji nodded, not even able to find it in him to eat out of horror for what he had just seen happen to Naruto's poor clone. Shikamaru then spoke, "There was no reasonable excuse for what you did to him."

Kyuubi looked over her shoulder uncaringly, "Well I can do what I want to my Naru-kun since he now completely belongs to me, especially that part of his anatomy. I would never do that to him for real because I personally love that part of him, but I hope he felt that when his clone dispelled. How is he going to ditch me and not even say anything?"

Ino nodded, "He needs to know that he can't do what he likes anymore. He has a girlfriend now and that means that all of his decisions have to be run by you first. Don't worry, you can teach him that once we find him." She pointed her thumb back, "That's what Kiba is for."

Kiba paled, "Uh, Akamaru is more suited for finding people than me. Let me run home and get him for you!" Kiba really didn't want to be the one forced to hunt down one of his friends for a fate on par with death, but he wasn't going to blatantly say so in front of women that could do terrible things to him, especially after what he had seen Kyuubi do to Naruto's Kage Bunshin. If he could run on home and hide there under the guise of getting his dog then his mother and hopefully his sister could protect him from any scary female retaliation for his cowardice.

Kyuubi didn't even turn around to respond, "No, you're staying here. You'd just run home and hide from us since only Sasuke and Naruto really know where you live and that's who we're looking for." She turned around and locked her red eyes onto him, "You know you can find Naruto dog-boy, so put that sniffer to good use since your nose is way stronger than mine." Kiba was about to open his mouth to ask her something but she beat him to it, "I can feel the emotions of the people around me when their intentions are poorly masked. You were reeking of cowardice and deceit. Your lie never had a chance."

Beaten on all fronts, Kiba looked at Shikamaru and Chouji before slinking his way to the front of the group, "Fine…" He took a few sniffs of the air and made a gesture with his arm, "Come on and follow me." He said in a defeated voice as he led them along.

XxX

(With Naruto and Sasuke – Hyuuga Mansion)

"Why are we here again?" Sasuke asked as he sat at the desk in Hinata's spacious room while Naruto himself sat on a couch nearby with Hanabi in his lap, "How is this place low profile in any way?"

Naruto was tickling the little girl on his lap who was laughing and kicking her legs raucously, "We're here because I haven't seen Princess and little Tsukime-chan in forever and how could we be any more protected from my seemingly angry girlfriend than in a place with guards that can see through walls?"

Sasuke shrugged and dumped his bag out on the desk, "Good point."

Hinata entered her room holding a tray with four cups and a pot of tea, "It's good to see you again Naruto-kun, and you as well Sasuke-kun. Hanabi-chan missed you a lot you know." She said to the blonde.

"O-Onee-sama!" Hanabi choked out through Naruto tickling her, "He didn't need to know that!" She got out before breaking into more laughter.

"Aww." Naruto kept up his onslaught on the younger girl, "I missed you too little Tsukime-chan." He looked up at Hinata, "Is Neji still an ass-clown?"

Sasuke snorted in laughter as he started separating the scrolls on Hinata's desk. Hinata frowned at Naruto and sat down on her bed, "Yes I'm afraid, although I would have used far less vulgar language in my description of Neji-niisan."

"He is what he is, you're just too sweet to say it out loud." Naruto said simply as he pulled Hanabi up and into a hug, "He's probably been spouting all kinds of bullshit to my sweet little Hanabi-chan trying to get her to have the mind-set of a horse's ass just like him."

Hinata smiled wryly, "More or less… but watch your language around Hanabi-chan. You shouldn't be influencing her _that_ much. We're still nobles Naruto-kun. A public slip up wouldn't be befitting of our status you know."

Naruto scoffed and let Hanabi go, ignoring the fact that she was still happily holding onto him, "Fuck that shit Princess. Due to illegal and mostly unscrupulous means I'm totally loaded now. And part of being loaded means that I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing. And if anyone has a problem with that, what could they possibly do to me?"

Hinata poured herself a cup of tea, "They could kill you, or hire people to kill you."

Naruto grinned and laughed at that, "The thing about that is, that if I'm getting put down for good it damn sure isn't going to be by any stuffed shirts Princess, and if they hire someone to take me out I have just one thing to say. I know everyone that they could possibly hire to do the job locally, and they like me better than them."

Hinata giggled and looked over to Sasuke, "And you Sasuke-kun. What are you doing right now?"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder at the clan princess, "I bought a ton of scrolls in an auction and me and the idiot are going to ditch school for the rest of the week and learn them all. Or as many as we can in a week. We've got like twelve and even a few slips of paper to test chakra affinities."

Naruto put Hanabi down on the sofa and walked over to Sasuke and took a slip of paper from his hand, "What is this thing? A pregnancy test?"

Sasuke palmed his face and shook his head, "You are the single worst influence on any child ever. I really hope Hanabi doesn't take the stuff you say seriously. Channel chakra into the paper dobe!"

Naruto did as instructed and watched it split in half, "So what does that mean? Is it bad?"

Sasuke shook his head, "No that means that your element is wind." He then smirked, "Mine is fire… the element yours is weak against. That's fun." Sasuke looked over at Hinata, "Do you want to try too? We don't have any problems with you learning this too since we crashed your house like this."

Hinata shook her head with a pleasant smile, "No thank you Sasuke-kun. Hanabi-chan and I are only allowed by tradition to know and be taught Hyuuga fighting techniques."

"While on the other hand." Naruto said while looking at the elemental kanji on the outside of the scrolls on the desk, "It's Sasuke's family tradition to steal other people's moves with a mere flicker of the retina." Naruto then took an elbow to the ribs, "Hitting me doesn't make it any less true. Now let's see what we've got here." Naruto opened one of the scrolls.

Fuuton: Kaze Kongou no Jutsu (Wind Release: Wind Bolt Jutsu)

**This wind jutsu condenses the wind down into a spear-like bolt of swirling wind. One could almost grab onto this wind since it is so condensed down, though anyone doing so would likely find their hand removed from their body.**

**Effect: After doing hand seals the bolt of wind flies towards its intended target in a jagged pattern, almost like lightning. If it hits, the bolt will leave a deep puncture wound or may even impale the opponent**

**Rank: C**

"Hello!" Naruto said with a smile, "Looks like we have a winner right off the bat! I needed more ranged techniques anyway." Naruto looked back over at Sasuke, "So how are we doing this? You said I could use these too."

Sasuke read through a few scrolls of his own with a smile on his face, "You can take a few that you like but since their mine I have final say in what you leave with. Then you learn them and bring them back and see what else you might want." He looked back at Naruto, "Remember, I paid good money for these so don't spill crap on them or rip them."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yes, fine _mom_. I won't mess up the scrolls. I'm better than that. But how are you going to learn all of those jutsu so fast?"

Sasuke smirked at him, "Haven't you heard dobe? I'm a genius."

"Onii-chan." Hanabi asked. She had taken to calling Naruto that not too long ago and he simply thought that it was too cute to tell her not to, "Why does Uchiha-san call you 'dobe' all of the time?"

Hinata looked at Naruto curiously as well, "Yes, I've wanted to know that too for a while."

Naruto sighed, "Because the first time I was ever sent to jail for doing anything, back when I was eight I would hazard a guess, this ass comes walking up to my cell. He stares at me and I stare back, and this keeps going for like five minutes, and the second I open my mouth to ask him what the fuck he wants he says two words that start our messed up relationship."

"Hm, dobe." Sasuke says while continuing to read.

Naruto pointed over at Sasuke, "Yeah, that was it verbatim. And he kept calling me that even after I kept proving that I wasn't dead-last in anything, so eventually I started ignoring it and coming up with names of my own… which is why I have nicknames for a lot of the people in my life, so blame him for it."

Hanabi pulled on Naruto's arm, "Onii-chan, fight me!" Naruto looked down and blinked owlishly at the ten year old girl.

Naruto looked over at Hinata, "Why does she want to fight me? She does know I kill people basically as my job description, doesn't she?" Hinata nodded, "So why in the sweet hell would she want to fight me?"

"Because she sees you train with me sometimes and she always wanted to, and-." Hinata turned her Byakugan on, "-because she can see that you're hurt right now and thinks this is a good chance to beat you."

Naruto shrugged, "That doesn't bother me that much. I've heard far worse reasons for people wanting to fight me." He kneeled down by Hanabi, "Do you think you can beat me little Tsukime-chan?" Hanabi nodded fervently, getting a grin out of Naruto, "I always wanted a little sibling to beat up!"

At that point Hinata's cell phone went off, prompting the girl to pick it up, "Hello? …Oh, hi Kyuubi-chan." On hearing her name, Naruto paled and mouthed the words 'I'm not here' to Hinata, "Yes he's right here with me as we speak." Hinata said with a mischievous smile on her face, "Yes I can keep him from running away."

"The hell you can." Naruto said before running to the desk and grabbing two more scrolls from Sasuke before looking to the door to bolt. However he fell to the floor with his legs unable to move. Naruto looked back from on the ground and saw Hanabi with her Byakugan on and her fingers outstretched letting him know just what had happened, "Hanabi why would you do that?"

Hanabi turned her Byakugan off, "Because Hinata-oneesama was about to do it, I was just closer."

Sasuke didn't even bother looking to see if Naruto was okay, "Just man up and take your punishment. How bad could it possibly be?"

"Says the guy who doesn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a girlfriend with claws and who can make fire!" Naruto said as he tried to pull himself out of the room before Hinata walked over and disabled his arms, "Princess!"

Hinata shook her head as she walked towards her bedroom door, "I will let you use your arms and legs when I come back Naruto-kun. You're not running away from Kyuubi-chan for whatever it is that you did." With that she left the room.

Naruto started crying anime tears before looking at Hanabi, "Tsukime-chan if you let me out of here right now I promise I'll sneak you out on Saturday and we can do whatever you want all day. I'll buy you whatever you want."

Hanabi really thought about it for a moment before shaking her head, "Sorry Naruto-oniichan. You did something bad and now you have to pay for it."

Naruto bounced his head off of the floor, "Oh come on… you women are stricter about this than the police force."

XxX

(Two Hours Later)

After getting caught and scolded and then threatened with the prolonged withholding of sex, Naruto (voluntarily of course) took Kyuubi home, however not one for letting such slights go against him he also let the girls that were with Kyuubi, Ino and Sakura, know that their Sasuke-kun was inside as he spoke. Two blocks away he heard the satisfying yell of Sasuke rushing out of the Hyuuga Mansion front gate telling them to leave him alone.

He dropped off Kyuubi, gave her a kiss goodbye and decided to head to HQ to visit some of his favorite people while he had the time.

Upon reaching the upstairs offices of the more higher-up mercenaries he was greeted by immediately being rapped hard on the top of the head, "Ow damn it!"

Rin looked down at him with a tick mark on her head, "Me, Shizune, and Tsunade-sama all told you to stay home and rest. I let you coming in yesterday evening to drop off your bike to Tenten slide, but you're really trying my patience Naruto-kun."

Naruto rubbed the spot on his head where Rin's fist had made contact, "Geez Rin-neechan… you hit like a girl." Naruto covered his face when he saw her cock her hand back for another strike, "Okay, okay. I'm just here to spend some time with you guys. I'm not allowed any missions yet anyway because of Tsunade-baa's orders to keep me on injured reserve."

Rin lowered her hands and poked him in the ribs, pleased that she didn't get a sharp intake of breath from him for her trouble before she decided to run a quick diagnostic jutsu on him, "Well it looks like you're almost back to 100%. A week on the shelf has to be some kind of record for you lately."

"I don't know how to respond to that so I'm just going to nod my head and smile politely." Naruto said, "Come walk with me neechan. Are you supposed to be doing anything right now?"

Rin shook her head, "Kakashi-kun is on a mission, and Obito is just sleeping in our office. I'm just killing time before I go home. So what's up Naruto-kun?"

Naruto and Rin walked through the halls before getting on a large cargo elevator, "I need to check something with my bike and then I was going to tease some people before going home." They made it down to the underground garage level of the base where he quickly found Tenten in a grey jumpsuit that was half-off with the sleeves wrapped around her waist sitting by his bike, "So what's the word Tenten?"

Tenten looked up from observing the machine and gave him a dry look, "This thing is actually in terrible shape. What, did you throw this thing off of a cliff?" Seeing Naruto's unchanging expression she shook her head pitifully, "I don't even want you to answer that. But how have you even been getting this thing down the street without blowing yourself to hell?"

Naruto walked over to look at it with her, "What's wrong with it?"

"What isn't wrong with it?" She replied, "Whatever you did completely screwed over your transmission, see?" She said, pointing to a particular spot dripping stuff, "It's leaking transmission fluid as we speak. It's probably why you never reached top speed on this thing. Your carburetor is fucked, you need to replace your camshaft gear, I either need to rebuild of completely replace several parts of your entire engine to make this piece of crap run halfway down the street before we even get started on your stupid requests that are strangely appealing to me."

Naruto looked back at Rin who was giving him a mothering look telling him he was irresponsible, "Fine, how much do you need to get this started and how long do you think this will take?"

"Between the parts and the pay for my actual services… this is going to run you 265000 ryo, just to get us started." Tenten said, rubbing her cheek that had a black smudge on it.

"Damn it…" Naruto said, "I'm so lucky I'm loaded right now and can afford to spend it on stupid stuff right now." He sighed and turned to leave, "Alright, I'll have the money for you tomorrow so you can go ahead and order the parts. The sooner this gets done the better."

Tenten, hearing Naruto shrug off paying so much money so easily put on puppy-dog eyes, "Naruto, you didn't get me anything for my birthday two months ago in March. Can I go ahead and order a little something extra for myself?"

Naruto was about to climb back on the elevator when he got a good look at Tenten's face and froze, "…Fine. Get what you want, but be reasonable damn it, I'll pay for it." He said defeatedly as he climbed on the elevator with an amused Rin.

"Thank you Naruto!" Tenten chirped happily before turning back to his motorcycle. Naruto gave a loud indignant grunt back in response just as the elevator started taking off upstairs.

Rin kept her laughter to herself as she looked at her pouting little brother, "You know Naruto-kun, you didn't come into all of this money until after my birthday too so I was wondering-."

"Fine." Naruto grumbled out loudly, "Get something nice neechan it's the least I can do." Naruto got a kiss on the cheek before Rin got off on the floor she intended to get off on, laughing to herself as she heard Naruto keep griping to himself, "Can't never let me have nothing. Always got to try and take my money right when I get it… I'm trying to move out here!"

Naruto went back down a few floors to see if he could find anyone willing to spar with him. Upon reaching that floor he felt like crawling into his skin as the smirking face of Tsunade appeared once the doors opened, "Hello brat. You weren't thinking of going in there and picking a fight with anyone were you?"

Naruto averted his eyes as the older blonde climbed onto the elevator, "No Tsunade-baa, not at all. Where'd you get that idea? I'm not cleared yet, remember?"

Tsunade ruffled Naruto's hair, "Good boy, you're learning. Bottom floor please. We have somewhere to go while you're here."

Naruto was curious about what she intended but hit the button all the same. Once they arrived at the very bottom floor where Jiraiya's office/living quarters sat he heard Tsunade make a quip about the large ornate doors there, "For a pervert that lives down here like a slob and never lets anyone in he sure likes to make a grand showing of nothing doesn't he?"

Naruto smirked, "I like to think he lives like a sennin. An ero-sennin."

Tsunade broke into laughter as she knocked audibly on the large doors. After a moment the tall white-haired man opened the door with a massive grin on his face, "Tsunade-hime! I see you've finally decided to take me up on my offer for a late-night rendezvous."

"Gross!" Naruto said from his spot next to Tsunade, "If that's what she's here for then let me leave. I need to go bash my head against something to get the images I'm getting out of it."

Tsunade held back on punching the man in the face just yet, "First of all, no. Never in a million years you pervert, no. Second of all I brought the brat you needed to talk to. Third of all since I brought him I'm staying for whatever you have to tell him."

Naruto looked between the two senior mercenaries in a confused manner. He hadn't really talked to Jiraiya since the man basically let him know that he knew about Sasuke's interest in Orochimaru.

Jiraiya led them inside to the living room on the chairs that Naruto figured had to be the designated conversation area, "Alright gaki, on that last mission, what would you rate your performance?"

At mention of that, Naruto scowled, "What do you think? A fucking F for 'Epic Fail'. There's nothing else I could possibly call it. I got my ass handed to me in thirty seconds by some guy that could take my best shot and walk right through it, we lost the water and failed the mission, and my friends almost got killed."

Jiraiya nodded, "And what of those reasons are you most concerned with?"

"Everybody almost getting killed!" Naruto exclaimed, "Who cares about the water? It was water! I still don't see what the big deal about it was. About the me losing, I had just beaten Fuu, and even though I still wouldn't have beaten that Kakuzu guy, Fuu was tough and I beat her." He clinched his fists, "That psycho would have killed Sakura though if she hadn't been smart enough to just give up the water. She never should have been there."

Tsunade spoke up, "Why was she there?"

Naruto eased back in the chair and ran his hand over his face, "It was a last minute add-on to the mission. Haku-chan was pretty much forced to accept. It was transporting Sakura and a few others to Taki and back for a day trip or something. It's in her and Rock Lee's reports I'm sure."

Tsunade looked over at Jiraiya and the man nodded, "I need to have a talk with Yamanaka about breaking the initial terms of the contract without previous indication and taking advantage of our resources. Those kids were too low on the totem pole to turn down his request."

"So now what?" Naruto stated, "Why am I here? Why did you want to hear that from me? Are you busting me back down to the glorified babysitting or are you just straight kicking me out?"

Tsunade frowned, "Naruto honey, why would Jiraiya kick you out for a mission gone wrong? That was no one's fault at all. You just weren't prepared for someone like Kakuzu, he was an anomaly."

Jiraiya picked up where she left off, "If we knew he was somehow interested in Yamanaka's cargo we would have sent a more experienced team, charged higher, and you never would have been involved with it."

Tsunade sat down next to him and rubbed his shoulder, "Honestly, while I may have yelled at you before about being stupid and fighting him, I'm glad you're alright brat. We all are."

Naruto looked up at Tsunade and saw a faint smile on her red lips, "Thank you baa-chan. I appreciate all the concern." He said, putting on a smile of his own. He turned back to Jiraiya, "So now what? If you wanted my account of the mission you could have just read my report. What's this about?"

Jiraiya looked off on the other side of the room for a moment before giving Naruto a big, toothy grin, "So how would you like to be trained by yours truly?"

Naruto's brain stopped working for a second once he heard that. He dug into his ear and patted the side of his own head, "Excuse me, could you repeat that? I think I had something crazy in my ear?"

"No joke kid." Jiraiya asserted, "Quite frankly for only being on the job for around nine months you're better than half of the people older than you. There's only one other person I could say that had that kind of potential and he was my last apprentice."

"What happened to him?" Naruto asked curiously. This was the first he was hearing of this.

Jiraiya flinched and looked away, "He passed on a long time ago." He got his steam back however, "But before he checked out he was the single best mercenary this company ever produced, bar none. His fame actually reached beyond the shadows of merc work."

"Wow." Naruto just wanted to be good enough at what he did to live comfortably with Kyuubi one day if everything went smoothly. He never thought about being so strong that he got famous for it. Then again, someone already tried killing him, so how bad could it be?

"Yep." Jiraiya said, "So are you interested?"

Naruto grinned and stuck out his hand, "Where do I sign up Ero-sennin?" He reveled at the look on Jiraiya's face of smelling spoilt milk and Tsunade's pleased laughter. Jiraiya could already tell this was going to work his nerves and they hadn't even started yet.

XxX

(The Next Day – South Konoha High School)

Naruto had to make sure he actually attended himself now, lest even more of his poor, innocent Kage Bunshin be subjected to the horrific punishment inflicted upon them by Kyuubi the previous day. She had also taken to proving whether or not he was a clone by biting him on the neck when she saw him in the morning, and not gently and lovingly like she did in the bedroom either, she drew blood.

"So you're going to be working with the guy that runs your PMC?" Kyuubi asked Naruto as they waited for class to begin.

"Yeah." Naruto said, "It's an awesome chance for me to get stronger. He's got to be the strongest man in the entire place to run the company. I'm going to be kicking so much ass in no time at all."

"You can't kick my ass Naru-kun." Kyuubi replied lowly as she moved herself into his lap and wiggled around in place as she spoke.

Naruto deeply inhaled her scent and felt his pants start to bulge. Damn woman, they were at school. Ah, she didn't care and honestly neither did he, "Yes I can Kyuu-chan, you know I can. But you know there are other things that I want to do to your ass, and kicking it isn't what I had in mind."

Kyuubi kissed Naruto on the lips, "Pervert." She sucked air through her teeth when she felt him start kissing on her neck.

"You know you like it." He said in her ear before he continued kissing on her neck, "You're just as big a pervert as me you know."

"Kyuubi get off of Naruto and get back in your seat so I can start class." Iruka said with a twitching eye as he walked in and saw the vixen sitting in his lap in bliss. She reluctantly hopped off and sat back at her desk while Iruka cleared his throat, "Alright, now we have a new student joining us today. He was transferred here just for the upcoming exams so treat him well. Come on in Mr… I don't have your name here anywhere."

A pale teen with ink black hair and eyes walked into the classroom. He wore a dark purple baggy traditional student's outfit which was strange since this school had no real dress code. His eyes panned over the classroom emotionlessly until he turned to Iruka giving him an odd smile, "It's Sai Iruka-sensei. Just Sai." He looked back out on the class and Kyuubi could swear his eyes stopped on her and Naruto for just a moment, nothing more, "I hope you will all take care of me for the length of my time here."

The class simply all stared at him, a few girls with hearts in their eyes. Naruto leaned over to Kyuubi and whispered, "I'm not really 100% sure, but I think that kid might be gay." Sai gave the class his strange smile, "Totally gay."

* * *

Character Profile 4

Name: Haku Momochi

Nickname:  Daughter of the Demon of the Mist, Koori no Tenshi no Kaisha Hein (Kaisha Hein's Ice Angel), Haku-neechan (by Naruto).

Age: 16 (Birthday: January 9th)

Height/Weight: 5'1/94 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Hyoton kekkei genkai which allows the creation of ice, extremely adept at accuracy with senbon, detailed knowledge of human physiology used in conjuncture with senbon use, ability to use one handed hand-seals, great observational and analytical skills, absurd speed, poor at hand-to-hand combat, long black hair, brown eyes, slightly pale skin, sweet personality.

Likes: Zabuza-otousan, Naruto-kun, cold weather and climates, leisurely practice of acupuncture, peace and quiet, rabbits, kind people, ice cream, kimonos (both formal and casual).

Dislikes: The entire season of summer, enemies of Zabuza-otousan, hot sauce and other spicy foods, killing, violent people, those that fight for nothing, failing missions.

Theme Song: "Human" by The Killers

Notes: Haku is a young teenage girl adopted off of the streets at the age of five by "Demon of the Mist" Zabuza Momochi and raised to be an elite mercenary mere days after finding her way to him. Haku, despite her upbringing and father, is a very sweet, gentle, and good natured girl that others find extremely pleasant and calming to be around due to her peaceful demeanor and disarming smile. She has an apparent natural talent for combat that has been cultivated and harnessed by Zabuza for years, giving her a cold efficiency on the battlefield. However she dislikes killing her enemies, much rather preferring to disable them to keep them from fighting any longer when forced to actually engage in combat. Is far more advanced that many mercenaries her age due to being raised for conflict from a young age.

Quote: "I'll show you what speed really means."

"I cannot state this enough… I absolutely detest taijutsu."

"You will not win this battle, I will not fail this mission, and the only concession I can offer you is a choice… of which side of your neck the needle goes into. The left side of right side? It doesn't really matter to me it's your choice."

"I would really rather not have to kill you."

Character Profile 5

Name: Zabuza Momochi

Nickname: Demon of the Mist, Zabuza-tousan (by Haku), No-brows (by Naruto)

Age: 26

Height/Weight: 6'0/217 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Large distinct oversized cleaver/broadsword (Kubikiri Hocho), lower face covered in bandages, jagged shark-like teeth, strong hand-to-hand and swordplay skills, skill in water techniques, top-flight assassin of the highest caliber, very high physical condition, aggressive personality, high sense of honor.

Likes: Haku, Kubikiri Hocho, strong opponents, violent conflicts, difficult missions, heavy combat, random destruction, his job, chopping stuff in half.

Dislikes: Weak people, His original hometown, bigots and hypocrites, cheap liquor, rookie mercenaries.

Theme Song: "A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals

Notes: Zabuza is a mercenary based out of Kaisha Hein after events transpired in the Kirigakure based PMC Kaisha Araumi (Riptide Company). The company, in correspondence with the city's growing hatred and fear of those with bloodlines, tried to get Zabuza to relinquish his apprentice/daughter Haku and hand her over to the anti-bloodline city officials planning to eradicate her. After fighting his way out of the city and country with Haku in tow he took refuge in Konohagakure, doing odd jobs until he was contacted by Kaisha Hein and was able to continue his career. Zabuza's goal in life is to one day bring down the leader of Kirigakure that began the now infamous "Bloodline Purges" and is steadily building his strength and funds to afford such a black op that he himself would head up. He mostly takes assassination or extermination jobs as he specializes in "Silent Killing" and he himself says he doesn't have the "soft touch" for any kind of protection detail. He has a long standing axe to grind with a few of the other elites formerly of Kaisha Araumi.

Quote: "Don't worry, I've never died before, but I can almost assure you that it won't be painful."

"Do you know who you're talking to? I'll kill you so fast you won't know what to tell Kami when you get there."

"That's not a sword. *brandishes Kubikiri Hocho* _This_ is a sword!"

"You know, hell doesn't really seem like that bad of a place to me. Consistent climate, and you get to fight willing opponents in demons all the time. What's not to like?"

"There are two rules in dealing with me. The first rule is do not touch Kubikiri Hocho or I'll have you get really acquainted with it when I'm cutting off your limbs. The second rule; have you seen a sweet teenage girl with long black hair in a kimono around here? Good then I don't have to explain too much. That's Haku. You don't touch her, you don't talk to her, you don't even look at her. If I even sense you thinking anything off-kilter in your empty little head and my Haku is somehow involved in the thought process then I'm going to make sure you disappear. After all, guys like you get killed mysteriously all the time in our line of work… he he he."

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**Chapter complete. Nobody is updating shit worth reading these days, so I guess I have to. As I've put out 3 consecutive chapters of stories on 3 consecutive days… because I care and am addicted to this shit.**

**The need must be feed! Er, I mean fed! Don't you judge me and my personal grammar, I r smart! You don't even know!**

**Okay, I'm done. Kenchi out.**

***12 reviews from Log Pope, give it to me baby!***


	33. Level Up

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Maybe next year?

**Chapter 33: Level Up**

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It had been a week since Naruto's recovery from his destruction at the hands of Kakuzu and his return to everyday life. A lot of things were happening keeping him ultra busy despite the fact that he hadn't been getting any missions, but it wasn't like he needed them anyway. After he put away the obscene amounts of money he made somewhere safe for a rainy day he still had more than enough to allow him to laze away for an entire year and live comfortably… hedging on him staying out of trouble and keeping the property damage he had to replace himself to a minimum.

He had exams to study for, as he had promised Kyuubi that he would and even if he hadn't done that he still wasn't about to screw up and fail so that Sasuke, Kiba and all of his other male friends could laugh at him. Luckily for him Kyuubi was smart enough to help him out, and the fact that her family didn't seem to mind her staying over every so often… Well Setsuna didn't. Isshin looked as if he wanted to gut Naruto like a trout every time he saw him (it was probably for the better that he didn't feel too up to training his demonic techniques right now anyway). Either way, the lack of work coming in for Naruto gave him plenty of time to spend with her, something both of them enjoyed.

He had began to train with Jiraiya every other day after school, but that wasn't too pleasant for him to think about. The first day he showed up, which was also the first day he was cleared to do anything combat-oriented at all he swore that Jiraiya was doing his damndest to put him right back on the shelf. He thought Jiraiya was strong, well he was right on the money with that one. The first thing… and the only thing they had done all week was spar.

Jiraiya beat his ass ragged. Plain and simple he destroyed him flat out. For three hours every day they trained that week he would make Naruto come at him in a large dojo section of his office/living quarters and fight. Naruto swore he was trying his best to recreate the Kakuzu debacle with how hard he was getting shut down each time. The fights wouldn't last any longer than five minutes each… then he would spend thirty minutes proverbially picking his teeth up off of the floor before trying again and repeating the process.

3 p.m. to 6 p.m. would see this happening every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday due to the schedule Jiraiya hashed out for him. He would show up, get his shit kicked in for three hours and then limp home to sleep it off before school the next day where he would have a day to himself. He couldn't say it wasn't training because it was; it was very effective to train by going against someone so much better than you. Even when he stepped his game up and started pulling demonic chakra out he still never landed a hand on the man. Seeing Jiraiya's damn smirk every time he felt one of Naruto's punches miss and whiff past his face was really irritating. It was quite evident that Jiraiya didn't respect Naruto's skills when compared to his own.

Jiraiya wasn't teaching anything yet. Every time Naruto came in it would be straight to the beatdown, then once the session was over he would head up to Rin or Shizune or Tsunade and get them to patch him up well enough for him to walk the streets to get home. He liked getting Tsunade the best; the aches of every bodily movement on the way home didn't hurt as much when she would fix him up. But he wasn't learning anything except maybe how to survive just a bit longer in the face of insurmountable odds… and he had come to that conclusion himself because Jiraiya didn't even bother trying to explain why he was proceeding to break off his foot in Naruto's ass each session.

He fixed that little lack of learning thing himself via his Uchiha buddy that had so graciously passed off some wind techniques to Naruto to learn himself, such as Fuuton: Kaze Kongou no Jutsu (Wind Release: Wind Bolt Jutsu), or the other one he had managed to filch from Sasuke to borrow as it was the only other wind jutsu there in Sasuke's mystery haul, Kyuu Teishi (Sudden Stop).

The first jutsu when perfected was supposed to create as its namesake indicated a rippling wind attack meant to be condensed down into a spear like bolt and launched at an adversary. Naruto had much trouble learning this and hadn't completed it yet due to the fact that he would always dice up his hands when he tried to complete the form of the attack due to keeping his hand held too close to the jutsu, either that or he wouldn't form it at all by keeping his hand too wide open to avoid getting his hand diced up. He needed to go visit the Hyuuga mansion; they could see chakra so maybe they could see how big the damn spear was and how far apart he needed to keep his hand to hold it properly.

The other jutsu was so easy to learn it almost pissed him off once he read the description for it, but after mulling around in his head he liked the idea of it more and more. It didn't need hand-seals and with Naruto's propensity to jump and fall off of things it was perfect. It required him to exude wind chakra from his body in one direction to stop movement. When in a full sprint it could bring you to a complete, dead stop or when falling it could even stop your descent for a moment, giving the illusion of hovering. Either way he couldn't do this one either because the lack of hand-seals meant he actually had to feel the wind chakra and had not the faintest idea of how to go about doing that, thus here was another technique to be put on the backburner until later… Sasuke wouldn't mind, he couldn't do that jutsu either anyway since wind wasn't even his element.

However that wasn't a concern at the moment for Naruto who was currently laying his head down on his desk following the first exam day of the end of the year. Everyone had finished and were simply conversing while waiting to be dismissed. Sasuke looked over at him from his seat, "Do you want to spar with me after school? I need to work on my taijutsu."

Naruto looked at him lazily, "No. I can't anyway. Today's Monday which means I have to go and get my ass handed to me by Ero-sennin again."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Then why would you go? Just come with me to train today. Like I said, my taijutsu needs some work."

"Then why do you want me to spar with?" Naruto asked him.

"Because." Sasuke started with an eyeroll, "You're someone I trust. Kiba's going to go straight home after this and he's the only one better at pure taijutsu than you are."

Naruto picked his head up off of the desk and gave Sasuke a dry look, "Why don't you trust Kiba? It's not like he'll steal your moves like _some _people. And again, why would you want me? The more you fight me the less you'll be prepared for an opponent's taijutsu. I don't use real fighting styles Deputy, I use whatever I can pick up from anywhere. If you want to train taijutsu go to the gym downtown and ask for Rock Lee, you won't be disappointed." With that he dropped his head back on the desk until a hand started stroking his upturned cheek, getting him to smile, "What are you doing here? You don't have this class."

Kyuubi had a grin on her face as she stroked her boyfriend's whiskered cheek, "I came to see you. The exams messed our schedules all up and I haven't seen you today. Aren't you supposed to see that Jiraiya that was supposed to be your sensei today? I thought you would have left by now since school is over."

Naruto fished into his pocket for his phone, "It's only 1:32 Kyuu-chan. I don't usually get out until 2:45 and I have fifteen minutes to get there so I don't have to be there until 3:00. I've got time."

"Whatever you say Naru-kun." She said to him as she sat down on his desk, still stroking his cheek, "Hello Sasuke." She said to the black-haired best friend of her lover.

Sasuke gave her a nod of acknowledgement, "So what are you guys going to do during summer break?" He asked, trying to kill time with some conversation.

Kyuubi smiled, "My parents are leaving for a pharmaceutical conference in Tsuki no Kuni so I'm going with them on vacation for a week. Then they have another one in Mizu no Kuni that I'm not going to. I'll spend that stretch of two weeks with Naru-kun. After that who knows?"

Naruto had a raincloud forming over his head, "I'm going to be getting beat up by Ero-sennin… He's ruthless. Way worse than Itachi ever was. At least I ended up hitting Itachi with a few good ones when I was on my game."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "He's not stronger than Itachi."

Naruto snorted, "Well then why don't you take my place today and tell me how you feel about that after you're done? But yeah, I'm not getting any work coming my way at the moment so that's all I can see myself doing right now."

Kyuubi frowned and whirled around so she could set Naruto's head in her lap, "You need a vacation bad. A real one, not just a day off at home."

"No time…" Naruto replied as her fingers started lightly scratching his scalp, "I've got to make sure I'm ready for whenever Super-cop here gets tired of waiting for himself to get stronger and dives headfirst back into his case. You should train too."

"I am." She replied somewhat defensively, "I just don't have the terminator mentality that you walk around with all the time when you train. All of my techniques don't destroy stuff." Sasuke snorted in amusement, "It's true! Only the most basic kitsune techniques are like that as a foundation for beginners and so that the weaker ones will at least have some kind of skill. I have a lot of higher-level illusions."

Sasuke quipped right back, "Then why do you suck at genjutsu? I totally caught you in one when we were sparring that day and you didn't even come close to breaking it."

Kyuubi poked at her own brow, pointing at her eyes, "Those stupid Sharingan eyes of yours. Mom is better at genjutsu than you are, but I can at least crack hers… she layers them. You only used one and that's the only thing I can figure towards why I couldn't break it. I have meaner ones than the one you used, and I'm better at subtle ones. It's how I snuck up on Raiga when we fought him." A sly smirk crossed her face, "You'd better hope I never use my best one on you."

Sasuke activated his Sharingan for an instant, "I'd just break it and be done with it."

"Yo!" Naruto shouted, his head still on Kyuubi's lap, "Can we stop the proverbial pissing contest here? We should focus on what's really important here; getting me ready to go kick Jiraiya's big, wrinkly, perverted old ass."

XxX

(Hours Later – Kaisha Hein HQ – Jiraiya's Living Quarters)

Naruto strolled inside of the quarters and slammed the huge doors leading inside behind him, "Alright I'm fired up today, get out here you old sack of shit! I am going to uncork the assbeating of a lifetime on you… and you will respect me!" He yelled vociferously.

Naruto walked through the area until he made it to the dojo where he saw Jiraiya sitting in the middle of the room in a meditative position with his eyes closed, "Alright Ero-sennin get up so I can put the hurt on you." Jiraiya didn't respond in any manner, confusing Naruto who got closer, "Ero-sennin?" He said slightly louder, "Ero-sennin!" He yelled close to Jiraiya who headbutted Naruto in the face in response, sending him rolling backwards across the floor, "Gah, what the fuck?"

Jiraiya jumped to his feet immediately and settled into a fighting stance with a smirk on his face, "Never sneak up on a man who's been in a chemical fire gaki!"

Naruto stood back up with his nose dripping blood and slightly off-set, "What does that even mean?" He said nasally, "You know what, nevermind, I don't care anymore." He let out a strained grunt and cracked his nose back into place, "We'll see if you have that stupid look on your face when I _murder_ you!"

Jiraiya laughed derisively, "Hoho, big talk from the runt who hasn't even laid a hand on me after over nine hours of fighting!"

Naruto growled and charged Jiraiya, "Don't underestimate me!" The charge failed miserably when he launched the first punch that Jiraiya caught in his hand before letting loose a stiff front kick to Naruto's stomach that sent him sliding back harshly into the sturdy wall of the dojo that had stood up to every fight thus far easily.

"Maybe we should just skip the beating today and get to the part where you cry to Tsunade before walking home with your tail between your legs?" Jiraiya taunted, "You've got to get up pretty early in the late afternoon to take on the almighty Jiraiya!"

Naruto didn't answer back, he simply stood up and wiped his blood on his clothes before making a cross hand-seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" The room had clones of Naruto lining every wall in the room all glaring at Jiraiya. Upwards of 20 in count.

Jiraiya didn't balk at this at all, "Well then, line up single file so I can whip your asses in an orderly fashion!" And that verbal proclamation prompted the angry mass of replications to rush at Jiraiya all at one to take him out, "Hari Jizou (Needle Jizou)!" Jiraiya's hair expanded and covered his entire body but the effect of this was shown when the first ten reckless clones trying to finally take a swing at Jiraiya ended up being dispelled by the follicles which had been sharpened and hardened to the shape of a metal weapon.

The remaining clones all moved in front of Jiraiya and reached under their pants at the calf to pull out the large knife that Naruto constantly had stashed there before all slowly moving in. Jiraiya simply stood there unmoving, "Yeah, that's not going to work. Hari Jigoku (Hell Needles)!" Jiraiya shot off a single salvo of needles from his hair in all directions, hitting the clones in front of him and dispelling them.

"Goddamn it!" Naruto shouted through the Kage Bunshin smoke. It dissipated to reveal that he was on the ground and had taken a good amount of needles to the side of his left leg, lining the length of it, "Tell me this shit won't get infected."

Jiraiya deactivated his defense, "Nope, but that gives me an idea. Maybe I should put poison in my hair to finish off brats like you that won't stay down." He said when he saw Naruto pick all of the needles out of his leg and stand back up, "You're cleaning that up by the way. You still want to fight?"

Naruto threw the needles he dug out of his leg to the side, "I'm still standing and conscious aren't I?"

"Not for too much longer." Jiraiya shot back.

Naruto bared his teeth at him, the canines were more prominent due to him drawing on his youki, "I lick a dog's ass with guys like you!" He shouted.

Jiraiya just stared at him like a deer in the headlights, missing when Naruto rushed forward with surprising speed and punched him right in the jaw with a right hook, snapping his head to the side and sending him stumbling back before slamming into the wall.

Naruto stood stunned with his arm fully outstretched from the punch that he couldn't believe he landed, "Did I just hit you?"

Jiraiya leaned against the wall and wiped away blood from his lip, still staring at Naruto vapidly, "What the hell did you just say?"

Naruto blinked before shrugging, "Well I figure that that particular line has many levels of intimidation. First of all, it's confusing, and anything that's confusing tends to be a little scary. Second it involves a dog's ass and will lead the recipient of the slur to wonder if I like dogs' asses, and if I do, am I going to rape him after I beat him? …It's more than a sane mind can handle."

"Obviously." Jiraiya said with a deadpan look on his face before it turned into a somewhat twisted grin, "But it worked apparently. You hit me. Good job, now I can stop taking it easy on you."

Naruto's face paled, "Wait, what?"

"Yeah!" Jiraiya said, rolling his shoulders out, "Kid I run this place, do you really think that was anywhere near the best I could do? I haven't even started attacking you yet. You always handle that for me by rushing in. Haven't you noticed that the last three times you've been here my both of my feet have never left this mat at the same time?" He finished, pointing down at the ground.

Naruto looked down to see that Jiraiya indeed was standing on a mat in the dojo that was colored differently from the others and now that he noticed it, when Jiraiya would even bother moving out of the way of anything he did he never left that space. With that knowledge in mind, Naruto gulped, "So now…"

"Now…" Jiraiya took over for him with a gleeful voice, "I know what you're capable of attack-wise. Let's see how long you can survive now."

Naruto glared at him, "I thought that's what I was doing already!" The response was one of Jiraiya's geta smashing him in the face, "Ow! Motherfucker!"

Jiraiya's face had a threatening shadow as he cracked his knuckles, "I've been waiting for this for a week… Get moving already. And if you leave the room I'll make sure Tsunade can't even fix you back up again." Naruto's whimper from his threatening aura was like music to his ears, 'Yep, still got it.'

XxX

Kiba yawned as he and Sasuke were finishing changing into workout clothes in the locker room of the gym they were about to spar at, "I'm gonna be kind of grumpy today dude." Kiba warned Sasuke, "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was having those dreams of mine again."

Sasuke finished lacing up his shoes and took his foot off of a bench, "What dreams?" He asked almost hesitantly, he really didn't want to know what kind of dreams a guy like Kiba was having that required him to mention them.

Kiba replied as if he were talking about the weather, "You know, those dreams I have about how it's just me and Akamaru in a castle and we've got to fight like a thousand knights, and the only way to beat them is to punch them as hard as I can in their faces. Then when I'm all done, all their little knight wives and princesses all come out and want me to have sex with them… which is kind of weird." He shrugged and finished putting his own shoes on, "I could have sworn I told you this before."

Sasuke had a sweatdrop on his head and began walking out of the locker room, "Yeah, no. You didn't. Alright I'm going to go and get warmed up, whenever you're ready we can fight." Sasuke walked out through the gym to the area with the grappling mats before yelling out, "Is there anyone here named Rock Lee?"

"Yosh! Who called for me!" Lee shouted from the ring nearby. Seeing Sasuke staring at him due to the combination of his bowl-cut, large eyebrows, and his gym attire; basically his green mission bodysuit just with short sleeves and short legs to go with his taped fists, Lee hopped out of the ring and ran up to Sasuke, extending his hand, "Hello I am Rock Lee, and you are?"

Sasuke looked at him in shock. This guy was way faster than he was. He would have had to have turned his Sharingan to keep his eyes on the kid, "I'm Sasuke Uchiha… A guy named Naruto said to look for you to spar my taijutsu with."

Lee's eyes lit up at the mention of Naruto, "Ahh Naruto-kun! So he has sent me a new sparring partner to replace him. How youthful of him to send you to me today. Very well, let us begin!" With that, Lee ran back to the ring and hopped it, tossing his gloves on to prepare for the fight.

Sasuke sighed, "What did that idiot get me into?" Sasuke gloved up as well and got in the ring, but at a more reposed speed than Lee. Sasuke stretched out before setting his stance up, "Okay, so… let's start?" He said as he saw Lee standing in his own starting position, prompting the boy with large eyebrows to come forward.

'Maybe he's all speed and no technique?' Sasuke said as he shot out a testing jab at Lee's face. His response to the jab was a series of four wicked hooks with both hands to Sasuke's face culminated with a backhand punch to the body that sent Sasuke stumbling back against the ropes, his hands up in a half-hearted defense.

"Damn!" Kiba said from outside of the ring as he had finally made his way from the locker room.

Sasuke tried shaking off his cobwebs and looked at Kiba, "What? What happened?"

Kiba pointed at Lee, "That guy hit you like five times before you even got your hands up to try and block. I think you should just stop now." He suggested, "He doesn't even look like he's gotten started on you yet."

Sasuke looked at Lee who was back in his stance, waiting on him again. Sasuke looked back at Kiba and turned his Sharingan on, "Well I haven't gotten started either. Whatever he's doing I'll see it now and I'll stop it."

Kiba palmed his face as he saw Sasuke walk back out towards Lee again, "Dude… don't do it. It's not worth it, you're a pretty boy. Girls want to fuck you, don't mess with that." A few audible smacks sounded out and Sasuke bounced off of the ropes leaning against them again, "So how'd that whole 'Sharingan' thing work out for you?"

Sasuke spit out some blood, "Shut the fuck up Kiba. Do _you_ want to fight him?"

Kiba grinned, "No thanks, I'm having enough fun watching you get your ass worn out from here. Come get me when you wake up after he knocks you out." He turned to a pair of girls watching from nearby, "That kid in green, I taught him everything he knows. Would you ladies like some free lessons?"

Sasuke leaned back on the ropes and glared at Kiba, "Can't you do anything to help me out here instead of failing to flirt with girls?"

"Um… keep your hands up?" Kiba suggested unhelpfully, "And I'm not failing to flirt, am I girls?" He said to the women with a grin, getting a few giggles out of them.

"Gee thanks." Sasuke said sarcastically, "Alright, fuck this I'm pissed, let's fight!" Sasuke knocked his gloves together and walked back out to face Lee. The two circled each other a few times before Sasuke leapt in with a kick to the body that Lee blocked with his elbow, getting a wince out of Sasuke. Lee punched Sasuke directly in the chest before he could aptly retaliate getting the boy to hunch over slightly.

Sasuke saw Lee's foot rising inch by inch, but when he pulled his head up and back to avoid it he couldn't do so fast enough, 'What the hell? I can see him but I can't dodge him.' Sasuke ended up taking a rising kick to the face that sent him flying high out of the ring.

Kiba stared at Sasuke soaring through the air in awe, "Whoa."

"Kage Buyou (Shadow of the Dancing Leaf)." Sasuke's eyes widened in shock when he sensed Lee's presence directly under him as he continued to fly through the air, "I am aware of your kekkei genkai Sasuke Uchiha, and I do not care. Just because you can see my moves does not make you fast enough to do anything about them, now witness my trump card!" Lee had tossed away his gloves and had unraveled his fist wraps until a weight flew across the room and hit Lee in the head, knocking him away from Sasuke.

Lee flipped through and landed on his feet, nursing a growing goose egg on his noggin while Sasuke kept flying through the air until he crashed into a shelf of medicine balls. Kiba ran over to him and picked him up, "That was awesome how you flew through the air and smacked those medicine balls like a dead fish!"

Sasuke groaned in pain and held himself up by the shelf, "Thanks a lot." He said, in noticeable pain before walking gingerly over to Lee and much to Sasuke's horror another man larger than Lee who looked just like him, right down to the haircut, the eyebrows, and the choice of gym apparel.

"Lee I am very disappointed in you. I didn't teach you the Omote Renge (Front Lotus) for you to use in a gym around so many people! Are you ready for the punishment?" Lee nodded, "Very well." And with that the man blasted Lee across the face with a hard right hand that sent him flying.

Kiba and Sasuke's eyes both widened at that, "Holy shit." Kiba commented before noticing the girls were still there, "Uh, I taught that guy everything he knows too." The girls both shook their heads and walked away, "Damn."

"Oh Lee!" The man cried as he picked Lee up, "You're still so young and just coming into the Springtime of your Youth! It's only natural for you to make such mistakes!"

Lee and the strange man both ran towards one another in a hug, "Gai-sensei! I promise I will not let you down again! I will make you proud of me and improve on my youthful character!"

"Oh Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The two hugged as the background changed to a sunset beach with waves crashing on the rocks. Kiba seemed mildly impressed while Sasuke was utterly horrified at what he had just seen and what made it worse was that he had his Sharingan turned on the entire time from his fight with Lee, "Oh Kami I can't get it out! I can't get it out! God, it's burned into my brain for life!"

Kiba looked at Sasuke furiously rubbing his eyes, "Are you alright?"

Sasuke's eyes were watering through his hands, "Kiba can you get us out of here?"

The dog loving boy looked around, "I don't know. I mean, this beach is seriously realistic. I can even smell salt water instead of the gym smells. This is really good."

"Just… Just try!" Sasuke cried desperately, "Come on Kiba… get me out of here, please!" Kiba started to attempt to navigate his way out of the genjutsu as Lee and Gai continued hugging and crying, "I am going to set the Dobe on fire once I see him again."

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ)

"Achoo!" Naruto sneezed while laying prone on a bed in the medical bay, "Great, I'm sick and I got my ass kicked again."

"Stop whining Naruto-kun." Rin said as she was patching up his visible wounds, "Most of the people here would give an arm and a leg to be training with Jiraiya-sama the way you are."

Naruto gave her a dry look, "Well I think I almost actually paid that price if you check the marks on my bicep and thigh."

Rin pinched his cheek, "Aww, you're a big boy. I'm sure you can take it. Do you want Rin-neechan to kiss the boo-boo and make it all better?" She said in a baby voice.

Naruto gave her puppy-dog eyes, "Would you?"

Obito and Kakashi walked into the room. Obito sat down on Naruto's bed, "Hey there runt. I heard you were on the ass end of an asskicking today."

Naruto sighed and looked at the ceiling as Rin continued to heal his injuries, "That seems to be happening a lot lately. What are you guys doing here anyway? Don't you have somewhere important to be, like doing actual work?"

Kakashi gave Naruto an eye-smile, "When it comes to making sure our little brother's self-esteem is good and low, there's no job important enough for us to miss it. It's not fair that whenever you're beat up the only one that ever gets to see you is Rin."

"Yeah." Obito added, "We like to laugh too."

Naruto glared at Obito, "When you go to sleep tonight I'm going to sneak into your house and punch you right in the face."

Obito ruffled Naruto's hair, "Oh, I love you too little buddy." Naruto turned his head up and bit Obito hard on the hand, "Ow, you little bastard!" He unloaded a punch to the top of Naruto's head that forced Naruto into a puff of smoke revealing a log in his place, "Oh fucking Kawarimi no Jutsu (Substitution Jutsu), I should have never taught you that fucking move!"

"Blasphemy!" Naruto and Kakashi cried together. Naruto pointed at Obito, "You dare sully the divine technique of the log's name with profanity?"

Kakashi shook his head disappointedly, "Obito I ban you from further use of the log for the duration of one month. Maybe that will give you time to think about what it really means to you."

Obito scoffed, "You know damn well neither of you two can actually do that shit."

Naruto shrugged, "Well let's test that theory shall we? Rin-neechan, did you know that Obito-nii has naked pictures of you from when you were 18 in a scrapbook at his house?"

Rin turned to Obito with a murderous glare before clocking him on the head and sending him to the floor, "You what? And Naruto-kun knows about them too? You showed Naruto-kun naked pictures of me?" She cried, jumping on top of him in an attempt to strangle him.

"Oh wow, right to the mount huh? Not even going to buy me dinner? I like your style!" Obito said before Rin's hands descended around his throat, "What the fuck?" He wheezed out as he saw Naruto pick up the log on the bed and walk away with it alongside Kakashi, "It actually worked? *hack*" Obito reached out desperately for the log that was being carried further and further away as Rin choked him angrily.

Naruto shook his head as sounds of the ruckus rang out behind him and Kakashi's retreating forms, "He should know that we use Kawarimi way more than he does. We outrank him on the scale." He turned an eye at Kakashi, "How did Obito-nii get naked pictures of Rin-neechan anyway?"

Kakashi shrugged, "We weren't dating yet and he paid me good money. It was a simpler time."

Naruto nodded in understanding, "Rin-neechan was hot."

"Yes." Kakashi replied as he started reading his book, "Yes she was. She still is. Trust me." He said with a thumbs up.

XxX

(The Next Day)

The round of exams on this day actually had Naruto in class with his friends, thus making the day a little better for him, because if you're going to fail at something, it's better to do it around the people that will respect you and appreciate you no matter what.

"Man." Kiba said with a huge grin, "You know you fucking bombed that right? Your hand was shaking like a heroin addict going through withdrawal the entire time. I thought you were going to seize up a few times."

Yep, what else are friends for?

"Leave him alone Kiba." Shikamaru said, "He's already going to be held back he doesn't need you rubbing it in."

"Fuck both of you guys." Naruto said, "I'm not a stupid as everyone thinks I am."

Kyuubi nodded from her seat, "Yeah, my Naru-kun studied hard for these things. There's no way he failed." Naruto nodded in agreement. There was no way he failed, especially with his Kage Bunshin sitting at home with his study guides, dispelling at the start of every exam. The only reason he was shaking was because it was late to dispel. He thought something had happened, "He probably scored higher than you Dog-boy." He better have. If he hadn't scored higher than Kiba while cheating straight off of the study guide then he was going to stab Iruka.

Naruto stopped an argument from breaking out, "That's not important." Naruto said, "What's important is that school is officially over and I don't have to come back to this hell-hole for two and a half months! Someone give me some!" He said, lifting his hand in the air getting a mid-air slap from Chouji and then Kiba.

Saukra shook her head with her cheek in her palm from her desk, "I don't see why you hate school so much. It's not like it's hard or anything."

"For you." Naruto added, "But that's not why I hate it. I don't mind when things are hard… and Kyuu-chan loves when _certain things_ are hard." He grinned when Kyuubi popped him hard in the shoulder, "It's so boring! And the worst part is that I have the ultimate tool for skipping school and I can't even use it, Kyuu-chan."

Kyuubi sighed and blew her bangs out of her face, "I'm not going to let you half-ass it all the way through school Naru-kun. What about college?"

Naruto gave her a deadpan look, "Woman I stab people and blow things up for a living. What part of any of that needs me to have an Associates' Degree? And even then, I can use Kage Bunshin for that too, it's the perfect tool for lazy-ass people. Shikamaru would love it if he weren't too lazy to learn it. Hell, I'd teach you if you had the reserves for it."

Kyuubi rolled her eyes, "I don't need that shortcut Naru-kun. And you don't either, just study a bit and things would be fine." Naruto just grinned cheekily at her, "Oh well, it's over now anyway. So what are we doing today?"

Naruto frowned, "As much as I don't want to go there today, I have to go see Tenten about my bike. We're stopping at HQ first, then who knows. Just so long as I don't run into Sasuke. I think he wants to hurt me for introducing him to Rock Lee and Maito Gai, but in my defense I didn't think the second one would be there."

Kiba smirked, "Sasuke's really pissed?"

Naruto returned it, "Oh yeah, he's been leaving threatening messages ever since yesterday. I wonder if I can sneak out of school before he finds me? Meh, I'll just take the window."

XxX

(Thirty Minutes Later – City Streets)

Naruto and Kyuubi were simply walking instead of running along the rooftops so they could enjoy the warm day. Kyuubi had foregone jeans and switched to a denim skirt due to it being summer outside and Naruto had foregone his orange vest, leaving him in his orange pants and white t-shirt.

"Want to come over?" Kyuubi asked Naruto.

"Is your dad there?" Naruto replied. When she didn't answer he chirped his response cheerfully, "Nope!"

Kyuubi pouted, "Come on Naru-kun he won't hurt you. He actually likes you, he just doesn't like mercenaries or boys around me in general."

"Exactly." Naruto said, "I am both of those things and then some, therefore he doesn't like _me_. But I suppose I should just get used to it right? Okay, I'll come over today." He concluded in a defeated manner.

Kyuubi pulled him down into a kiss, "Thank you Naruto-kun. And don't worry, he's all bark and no bite. He won't do anything to you as long as I'm in the room." She kissed him again, longer this time and pulled him against a wall. The two moved down the wall into an alley where she let him go, "Alright that should be far enough." With that, both of them ran up the walls and stopped once they reached the rooftops.

Once they both landed and stood straight back up Naruto looked over at her, "So you smelled it too did you?"

Kyuubi nodded, lightly taping her nose, "The super-strong smell of ink following us even though we weren't anywhere near school anymore? Yeah. Who is it?"

Naruto rolled his neck out, "There's only one guy in school that smells like ink all the time. The new kid. Right Sai?"

In a swirl of ink, Sai appeared in front of both of them on the roof with a backpack on, strange wearing such on the last day of school, "You both guessed correctly." He said with a false smile on his face before it dropped, "Now if you would both come with me. There's someone that would like to speak with the both of you."

"Hm…" Both of them feigned contemplation over this before smirking at Sai, "Nope!"

"Very well then." Sai drew a tipless tanto from a compartment behind his backpack, "It was not provided exactly what kind of speaking condition either of you needed to be in, as long as it was at least one of you that showed up." He set himself in a fighting stance.

Naruto grinned at Kyuubi who reciprocated it, "Well Naru-kun, your summer looks like it's going to be interesting to say the least."

* * *

Omake

"I really don't want to." Sasuke said with a shiver, "Just thinking about it gave me the creeps, why would I want to relive it?"

Both he and Naruto were standing on the roof of Naruto's apartment complex. Sasuke was really adamant about not doing something and Naruto seriously wasn't taking no for an answer on this one.

Naruto was pacing about the roof excitedly, "Deputy don't be such a pussy! I've been wanting to know how they pulled that off for the last nine months and then you Sharingan-ed it! Come on, this could be the only genjutsu I ever learn how to use!"

"It's burned into my retinas!" Sasuke screamed, pointing at his Sharingan eyes, "Why should I care?"

"I'll owe you three favors…" Naruto said firmly, "That brings your total of favors I actually owe to me owing you one, your debt is paid off, now do it before I make you do something worse to cash it in."

Sasuke could only imagine what could be worse, but if he just went ahead with this then he would have his debt paid off and one favor in the bag, "Fine… are you ready?"

Naruto jumped in place excitedly across the rooftop from him, "Oh hell yes, I've been ready since you told me the story."

"Fine… Dobe!"

"Deputy!"

"Dobe!"

"Deputy!"

"Dobe!"

"Deputy!"

The two met in a manly hug of epic proportions in the middle of the roof.

XxX

Sakura and Ino were following Kyuubi as she walked towards Naruto's place to meet up with him, "Are you sure this is where Sasuke-kun is?" Sakura asked.

"Absolutely." Kyuubi replied, "If he wasn't anywhere else then this is the only place he could be. Trust me, he's here."

The girls all stopped walking as the setting changed from a street in the middle of the city to a sunset on top of a rocky mountain. They looked around aimlessly wondering what was happening, "What the hell is going on?" Ino asked fearfully.

Kyuubi looked around for any attackers, but she didn't feel any ill intent, so why was there a genjutsu on them all. She then looked forward at the highest peak and widened her red eyes, "Oh no way."

XxX

At the top of the mountain, past the clouds and with the sun blazing overhead, Naruto and Sasuke were hugging it out. Naruto had anime tears spilling from his eyes, "It worked! It actually worked! I _can _do a genjutsu! Fuck you world, I can do an illusion!"

"This isn't an illusion!" Sasuke cried desperately, "I can feel the sun! And I think I heard an eagle over there! Now how do we turn it off?"

"No way!" Naruto replied, letting go of his Uchiha buddy, "We're not turning it off, I like it this way, we're keeping it like this! A new world, fueled by the power of youth!"

Sasuke launched himself at Naruto and tackled him hard, "Don't you ever say that out loud again damn it!" The two began to fight as the sun went away and storm clouds quickly formed before a lighting storm kicked up, "Now turn it off or I'll kill you!"

Naruto wrapped his legs around Sasuke's head and one of his arms and began choking him, "I said no! YOUTH RUNS THE WORLD!" Sasuke picked him up and began powerbombing him on the ground repeatedly with Naruto shouting 'youth' every time his body made contact.

XxX

"It's not breaking!" Ino cried desperately over the sounds of the storm as she tried to cancel the genjutsu.

Kyuubi shook her head with the storm blowing intensely as her boyfriend and his best friend were fighting on the top of the peak, "That's because it's not the power of genjutsu… it's the power of youth."

* * *

Character Profile 6

Name: Kakashi Hatake

Nickname: Kopi-Me no Kakashi (Kakashi of the Copy-Eye), Musuko no Shiroi Kiba (Son of the White Fang)

Age: 26

Height/Weight: 5'9/182 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: One Sharingan eye in left socket with a vertical scar going over the brow and lid, facemask covering lower face, headband covering Sharingan eye, usually lazy appearance, tall spiky white hair, master of numerous techniques ranging in the thousands, well-versed in all forms of combat at an elite level, incredible skill and knowledge with nature manipulation techniques, incredible experience despite young age, incredible speed, fierce team loyalty, generally uncaring temperament, tracking.

Likes: Icha-Icha, not being noticed by others, teamwork, Rin, miso soup, doing nothing, dogs, quick shots of whiskey.

Dislikes: Being seen without his mask, other people that try to copy his mask, fried foods, sweet foods, difficult missions.

Theme Song: "The House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals.

Notes: Kakashi is the son of former elite guard to the Hokage, Sakumo Hatake, known in combat circles as the Konoha no Shiroi Kiba (White Fang of Konoha). After his sensei and father's deaths in the extremely violent and turbulent Nenshou Ha no Yoru (Night of the Burning Leaf), Kakashi threw himself deeply into his work at the age of 12. Having already been established as a high level mercenary since the age of 6 he was slated to lead dangerous missions with his sensei's young team; Rin and Obito. Over time he developed a deep friendship with them and after having his life saved by Obito and having Obito donate one of his own eyes to Kakashi after Kakashi suffered a debilitating injury he became very group-centric, valuing teamwork over most other forms of strength and combat. Is the husband to Rin and is in the very top tier of strength that Kaisha Hein has to offer. Always wonders what truly happened on the night his father and sensei the Yondaime Hokage were killed.

Quote: "In our world, those who break the rules are scum, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum."

"Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I got lost on the road of life."

"My favorite part was the part where you died. Bravo."

"Yeah I'm famous and good looking… Wait, I'm not famous? …and no one knows what I really look like? Well that changes things."

"You know any time you feel like getting serious would be fine. I'm in no rush; I've got a good book and time to kill so feel free to keep fighting like a disoriented toddler, it's alright with me."

"Why is Rin attracted to me? Well it could be my suave good looks, my cool collected outlook on life, that I'm a demi-god in the sack, or that my Sharingan has all three tomoe in it and I hypnotized her… Ignore that last one."

"What is this lightning around my hand? Well I guess you could consider it a key… and when you stick it in people it unlocks their death."

"I like me."

Character Profile 7

Name: Rin Hatake

Nickname: Tenshi no Kakashi (Kakashi's Angel)

Age: 25

Height/Weight: 5'5/112 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Short brown hair, purple rectangular markings on cheeks, exceptionally high medical skills, elusive figure in combat, skilled trap maker, normally sweet disposition, strong will, resistant to genjutsu, slightly sadistic in combat settings, good analyzing abilities.

Likes: Kakashi-kun, Naruto-kun, plums, sunbathing, gifts (giving and receiving), relaxing, any kind of fruit juice, swimming, travelling, soft music.

Dislikes: Obito, stubborn patients, hospital rounds, late hours, explosives, Icha-Icha, perverts in general, excessive violence, healing idiots.

Theme Song: "Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine" by The White Stripes.

Notes: Rin is the wife of Kakashi Hatake and also his oldest and most prolific teammate alongside Obito Uchiha. Having been a mercenary since the age of 9, Rin is very experienced in her chosen field of medicine as well as the combat work of her profession as she often freelances work at the hospitals in Konohagakure to stay sharp. Due to being really the only consistently responsible adult in her group, which includes Kakashi, Obito, and later Naruto Uzumaki, she is something of the den mother of them all, only really enjoying doing such for Naruto who sees her as his big sister due to her long role in his life and upbringing since the age of 4. Rin does not go on many missions unless needed to keep her mercenary license or if previously requested, mostly choosing to remain behind and be dispatched for emergency response, thus she can be found lounging about Kaisha Hein's HQ more often than not.

Quote: "*sigh* For the last time; I'm a doctor, not a medic. [What's the difference?] Well you see a doctor cures people, while a medic just makes them comfortable… while they die."

"Listen, we all know the only reason you brought me in the first place is because you expected to fuck up miserably on whatever it is that you're supposed to do on this mission. Now leave me alone and don't bother calling me until you're bleeding out in a ditch… I'll be in the car."

"Just because I swore to never turn away a patient that needs help does not mean that I won't hurt you. I'll fucking stab you and then sow you right back up, understood?"

"You know… there's a fine line between medicating someone and poisoning someone… dosage, dosage, dosage. I also might be feeling a little dyslexic when it's time for me to pick up your medicine, it's an easy misunderstanding."

"Yep, I'm just your sexy, big sister style field doctor… and if you throw out a Trapper John joke or reference I will drug you."

"No I can't get you back at all for saying such stupid things, I'm just a glorified nurse right? Just remember, you don't keep an eye on your drink and estrogen is tasteless and odorless."

Character Profile 8

Name: Obito Uchiha

Nickname: Black-sheep Uchiha, Obito-niisan (by Naruto),

Age: 26

Height/Weight: 5'10/177 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Sharingan kekkei genkai, only one eye (left eye), keeps the eye socket covered at all times with an eyepatch able to fit in the socket over his lid, usually has a toothpick, spiky black hair, usually seen with goggles, skill with fire manipulation, fast reflexes and high speed, exceptional taijutsu, due to one eye has a perpetual blindspot that he compensates for with his Sharingan use to keep an opponent in sight, snarky attitude, upsetting personality.

Likes: Icha-Icha, bourbon, Kakashi, Rin, fire, explosions, peeking at women, women in general, making fun of people, helping people in need, classic rock.

Dislikes: Traitors, disloyalty, police, boring missions, the majority of the Uchiha, vintage TV shows.

Theme Song: "The Doberman" by Kasabian.

Notes: Obito Uchiha was initially in training to become a top detective for the Konohagakure Police Force, however he had an ugly falling out with them after it had been discovered that he was a mercenary far before he ever began training with them. The final break in his relationship with both them and his family, the most prolific members of the police force came at the age of twenty, even years after his status as an active mercenary was known, even years after he had given away one of his powerful bloodline eyes to Kakashi Hatake, it was his blatant favoring of the delinquent Naruto Uzumaki that ended everything. Obito stated that he could not and would not turn his back on the boy, that he owed him too much and he would never forsake a comrade in Kaisha Hein, the police force, or even little Naruto himself. Obito believes that mercenaries and the police in Konoha are two sides to the same coin, he just never liked the way police had to go about getting the job done, far preferring the methods of Kaisha Hein. Is a long-standing teammate of Kakashi and Rin Hatake.

Quote: "The only thing you succeed at… is failing"

"Sorry I'm late. I stopped to get breakfast, but they stopped selling it at 10:20 a.m. and I was like, 'Fuck that shit.' So I stayed there and argued for like 30 minutes until I realized I set my watch back ten minutes early on purpose to get here late, and by that time I was already late for getting _here_ late so I decided to stay and have lunch."

"All my life I've had girls tell me, 'Not if you were the last man on Earth!' *laughs* Well that may be true, but let's see what happens when I'm the last man on Earth with a baller-ass ride bitches!"

"I wonder if Rin is willing to cheat on Kakashi, just once… Hey Kakashi!"

"So we've got to go in there? With all of those people to take out? *whistles* That's a lot of graves to dig, dude. A lot of holes to fill. Bow chicka wow wow."

"Those that break the rules and regulations are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. If I'm going to be called scum either way, I'd rather break the rules! And if that's against regulation then regulation can go fuck itself!"

"This is Team Obito damn it! For the last time Rin… I am the superstar, Kakashi is my backup performer, and you're the super-hot eye candy chick meant to grind on me while I'm tearing the house down. You must be blind though because you chose the wrong guy to grind on… now put the knife down."

"You have the right to remain silent… because I just knocked you the fuck out. Anything you say can or will be held against you in a court of _my_ peers, because if I see you start to cry I'm videotaping that shit and showing everybody. You have the right to an attorney and to have that attorney present, and I'll knock his ass out too for trying to fuck with my collar, and if you don't have one that's fantastic because there won't even be a fucking trial in the first place!"

* * *

**Hello my peepulation. Your newest Log Pope is back like cooked crack… although I don't recall crack ever going away completely… hmm…**

**Whatever. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'll hit you all again with another one soon, Kenchi out.**


	34. Tag Team Champions

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but in Soviet Russia, Naruto would own _me_… and you know, I fail to see how that would be a bad thing in the grand scheme of things. Communism and socialistic society at large for the win!

**Chapter 34: Tag Team Champions**

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* * *

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Naruto and Kyuubi stared down Sai who stood across from them on a rooftop with a tipless tanto drawn. Kyuubi had her claws drawn, Naruto did not because he never really liked using them, he found that punching someone in the face was a far more gratifying feeling in the middle of a fight.

Kyuubi whispered low enough for only Naruto to hear as they faced off with the blank faced pale boy, "Do you think he's a sucker for a genjutsu?" She said.

Naruto looked at the completely stone-faced expression reading on Sai's face, "I don't think he's a sucker for anything in particular Kyuu-chan. It's worth a try though." He then let out a sigh, "With you saying that, I suppose you're going to be hanging back and providing support while I get in close."

Kyuubi shrugged, "I wasn't really planning on it, but if you're volunteering." Naruto rolled his eyes and slowly drew his large bowie knife from underneath his pant leg, with Kyuubi rolling _her_ eyes at the sight of the weapon, "Why do you even carry that?" Naruto looked at her to give her an irritated look.

Sai took advantage of the moment and attacked Naruto with his tanto in a downward slash that he blocked with his oversized blade, "Because of times like this." He said to Kyuubi, "For when guys carry big metal weapons of their own and I have to keep them from using it to cut and/or stab me baby. Anymore questions?" He then shoved Sai off and watched him get back to a neutral position with his tanto in his grip.

"Yeah." Kyuubi replied, "What the hell does this guy want? We've known of him for all of seven days and he just attacks us out of the blue? Why does he want anything to do with us?"

Naruto calmed her down as he could feel her getting increasingly worked up about this, "Calm down Kyuu-chan, we can ask him after we kick his ass and make him tell us the answer to that. Here I go." Kyuubi patted him on the shoulder which was the cue for Naruto to rush forward at Sai.

Naruto brought his knife back in a reverse grip for a stab, but found it parried by Sai's tanto. Sai stepped back and lashed out at Naruto with a few strikes of his blade that Naruto was able to negotiate away from his body with his own. Sai tried cutting down at Naruto's toes to take out his mobility, but Naruto showed swift feet in avoiding and lashing back out with a kic to a ducking Sai who cartwheeled to the side to avoid Naruto's foot.

Kyuubi kept her eyes peeled on the fight for a moment to step in. If she had just jumped in from the start, from the way Sai was fleetly handling himself, she was certain that she and Naruto would have been stepping on each other's toes in the battle. They never really worked together on fighting other opponents. Seeing the two come together once more in a clash of steel, she quickly began making hand-seals, "Maukai Yuka no Jutsu (Breaking Floor Technique)."

While in the midst of his struggle against Naruto, Sai felt the roof seemingly give way underneath him and compromise his balance, getting him to divert his focus to stay on his feet. Naruto cocked his fist back, and before he could avoid it due to his disorientation, wound up getting punched right in the jaw by Naruto who sent him sliding back across the rooftop from the force of the hit.

Sai tried to stand but noticed his balance was still shot when he looked over at Kyuubi who was holding a hand-seal. Narrowing his eyes at her, Sai made a half-tiger seal, "Kai." He stood back up and avoided a few follow-up attacks from Naruto's knife that probably would have severed something vital around his neck had any made contact.

"Damn it he broke it." Kyuubi almost pouted from the sidelines.

Naruto stepped back to avoid overexposing himself with his attack, "Well you can't expect him to suck at genjutsu like I do. Assume he's really good at it. Why don't you use your best genjutsu on him?"

Kyuubi shook her head, not that he could see it from the fight he was engaged in, "If I used it here then it would affect everyone. You and me included, and I haven't worked out how to function with it myself yet, you'd be a sitting duck if I did it, no questions asked."

Naruto grumbled at Kyuubi's apparent trump card's lack of practical use, "Fine, I'll beat him anyway so I guess you won't need it regardless."

Sai sheathed his tanto, "That will be enough for now I suppose." He said plainly, "I will be in touch."

"Wait what?" Naruto and Kyuubi both said. First this guy follows them, then he tries to fight them, then he just leaves before it even gets started? What the hell? Kyuubi moved forward, "What do you mean 'you'll be in touch?' We don't want to see your creepy ass ever again! What was this all about?"

Sai more or less ignored her anger at the matter, "You will both find out very soon." He said before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a scroll that he unfurled, making them both nervous. He pulled out a brush and began to draw on the scroll, "Choujuu Giga (Super Beasts Imitation)!" A large bird formed from Sai's scroll and allowed him to jump on its back to fly away.

"Wait damn it! He can fly?" Kyuubi said, forming a blue fireball on her fingertip when Naruto held her by the wrist, "What's wrong Naru-kun?"

Naruto looked down at her to Sai who was flying away, "Let him go Kyuu-chan. He was feeling us out for whoever it is was interested in us. They're not going to try and hurt us or else this fight would have gotten heated quickly. This was really relaxed compared to what it should have been." He put his knife away with a sigh, "Why does this always have to happen on my days off?"

Kyuubi blinked in confusion, "Relaxed? But you both had deadly weapons out."

"Yeah." Naruto agreed, "We did. Your point? Kyuu-chan I've been playing with deadly weapons since I was at least seven. Every mercenary I know teases other mercenaries with deadly weapons. Trying to stab someone is more or less how we say hi sometimes."

Kyuubi looked at him blankly before giving him a short kiss on the lips and stroking his cheek while shaking her head pitifully, "My boyfriend is a sociopath…" She shrugged and walked towards the edge of the roof, "Well? Aren't we supposed to be going to Kaisha Hein HQ today?"

Naruto followed her to the edge of the roof, "I'm not a sociopath. I just have mild sociopathic tendencies." He said as he stood next to her.

"Yes." She said cheerfully, pinching his cheek again, "You're a sociopath. That's what I said." With that, both of them jumped down to the street to continue their walk.

XxX

(45 Minutes Later – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Naruto, Kyuubi, and Tenten were walking down to the garage area of the headquarters where Tenten had been working on Naruto's vehicle, "You were both attacked on the way here by your classmate?" Tenten shook her head and looked at Naruto, "And that's why you needed a cover Naruto."

"I know that thank you." Naruto said testily, "I've had this conversation a hundred times since it was blown all those months ago. It's alright. If I need help I'll ask for help when whatever happens goes down. Until then, what about my ride?"

"Right." Tenten said as they moved towards her work station. She pulled a tarp off of Naruto's fully repaired Kawasaki Ninja 650R motorcycle to reveal it had been painted bright orange with a blue leather seat.

"Gah! Sweet!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran over to gawk at it, "You actually got me the paint and did it up for me? You're so awesome! *gasp* And how the hell did you get the seat to be blue? That's ridiculous!"

Tenten rubbed the back of her head with a bashful smile, "Well you did pay me after all. But yeah, the paint's only one thing I was able to do. Though why you want to look like a tangerine speeding down the road is beyond me."

Naruto stopped gawking and turned to glare at Tenten, "I owe you and I'm grateful for the amazing job you probably did on such short notice, but please don't tear into orange in my presence Tenten. It's not a very good idea." He then returned to marveling over his bike.

Tenten had a sweatdrop on her head at the 'subtle' threat and turned to Kyuubi who also had a sweatdrop on her head, "Have you tried weaning him onto more… adult colors?"

Kyuubi nodded sadly, "He fought me every step of the way. I was able to get a few shirts and pants into his wardrobe, but look at the pants he's wearing now. That should tell you all you need to know." She sighed, "Well at least the color suits him."

Tenten cleared her throat, "Well anyway, listen up because we're just getting started." She reached near the bike and pulled up a handmade book that she threw at Naruto, "I put everything you're going to need to know about this thing in here. I completely redid the interior engine, replaced your transmission, and made it so that you don't have to worry about blowing yourself to kingdom come at a stoplight, and added some things…" She said looking away sheepishly, "That I thought would be cool."

Naruto gave her a stern look, "Tenten."

"What?" The bun-haired girl replied defensively, "Do you know what kind of budget you gave me to work with? Double the amount I actually asked for! The parts I needed that you asked for weren't as expensive as I first thought, I had money to play around with, and you gave me enough time to do it, as well as the fact that once I did install what you wanted done I got ideas of my own to work on." Her eyes then lit up, "And thank you for the birthday present Naruto, I love what you let me get for myself."

Kyuubi looked at Naruto strangely, "You got her a birthday present?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, she's a friend of mine. I get my friends presents. Don't be like that, your gift cost more than hers did. I got the bill for it."

Kyuubi held her hands up defensively, "I didn't say a word."

"You wanted to." Naruto asserted. He then returned his attention to Tenten, "But what did you do and how does it work?"

Tenten grinned and sauntered over to the bike to show off what it could do, sitting atop it to start it and show it off, "Okay, first of all I put in a heads-up display in the visor like the ones I put in your goggles. How do they work by the way?"

Naruto pointed at the goggles he had resting on his forehead, "I haven't tested them in a mission scenario yet, but I have messed around with them and a friend of mine named Sakura says they work great."

Tenten nodded and hit a button on the body near the visor where a real-time HUD came up, "You can see your speed, the street you're on in any country around the world, how many miles of gas you have left." She hit another button nearby, "How much damage your bike has taken, if something in its system is wrong or something, and-." She hit another button, "You have auto-targeting."

Naruto raised his eyebrow along with his girlfriend, "Auto-targeting? All I asked you for was a handy shuriken dispenser to deposit stuff for me to easily throw."

"I know." Tenten gushed, "But I took that I idea and put it in and then I took it further, so now-." She hopped off the bike and dragged a nearby plywood wall with bullseyes drawn on it in front of the bike before hopping back on, "You don't have to worry about throwing them yourself, the bike will target and aim for you so you can just drive, fire, and forget." On the HUD lock-on icons were set on the bullseyes. Tenten hit a button up by the throttle on the handlebars and the bike rapidly fired shuriken from four different openings in the front under the headlight.

Tenten took the shocked faces of both Naruto and Kyuubi as a ringing endorsement, "You have four separate lock-on targeting systems and can fire one or any number of the four shuriken loaded. You have ten shots per container and the amount you have will be on the HUD."

Naruto pointed at the bike, "How did you do all of this? I thought you were just good with tools, weapons, and mechanics."

Tenten got off of the motorcycle and put her hands on her hips, "Yes, I am, and nowadays everything you just said deals with computers and other kinds of technology as well. I've just never had to use it before." She let out a pleased giggle, "I like building you stuff, as long as you pay me I'll see what I can do for you from now on. This is fun." She then clapped her hands together, "Alright, we're just getting started! Time to show you what else this thing can do!"

"What else this thing can do?" Kyuubi repeated tentatively, "What else did you do to this thing?"

Tenten grinned at her and held up the manual she had made, "I wouldn't have made this if I had only put in one or two things. Hey, you want to see something cool?" They both nodded, "Throw something at me." She said, hopping back on the bike once more.

Naruto shrugged and picked up a nearby wrench before winging it at Tenten, who disappeared in a puff of smoke to reveal a log where she and the motorcycle had been, "No fucking way!" He turned behind him where Tenten was seated on the bike, "How did you do that?"

Tenten climbed off the bike, a proud look adorning her features, "I know you like that jutsu so I put counter-measures in the bike in case you needed to do that. You have three uses and then you have to put logs back in it. It also uses three times the chakra from you that a normal Kawarimi would do."

She found herself swept off of her feet in a bone-crushing hug by Naruto, "Tenten I think I love you! You're so cool! My motorcycle can do Kawarimi? That's insane!" Naruto looked over at Kyuubi who had an amused look on her face, "I'm not taking that back. I swear, Tenten from now on you are officially the Q to my James Bond!"

Tenten raised an eyebrow as she hadn't been put down yet, "Ian Fleming plot or original content storyline?"

Naruto scoffed and waved off her question, "Ian Fleming plot. That makes me way more badass." He shook his head, "But anyway, I've got money and nothing to really spend a lot of it on. I want you to use every insane idea in your pretty little head that you think would be useful, bring it to me, I'll beta-test it, and if it works I get to keep it and you can try and sell it."

Tenten's eyes turned to dollar signs, "Anything you say Naruto-kun! I have so many ideas, I'll be-."

Naruto put his finger to Tenten's lips to stop her before she got too excited, "Show me, don't tell me. I like being surprised." He looked around and found a helmet that he handed to Kyuubi, "Can I take it out of here?"

Tenten nodded, "Yes, it's done. Just remember to read that manual so that you know how everything works, okay? And I'll call you whenever I have something I want you to test, this is going to be great!"

Naruto sat on the bike and put his goggles down on his face while Kyuubi put the helmet on her head (orange), "Okay Tenten, I'll see you soon." With that Naruto turned his motorcycle on and grinned widely as he could just feel that it was more powerful than when he had dropped it off. He pulled off and left through the garage exit, driving off to enjoy his new vehicle's capabilities.

XxX

(Two Days Later)

Naruto and Sasuke were walking through a Konoha metro station to prepare to get on the subway to head towards the outskirts of town. Naruto was wearing his orange vest closed with nothing under it due to the temperature. Sasuke had on a dark blue short sleeved polo shirt with buttons undone and the collar popped upwards, something that Naruto had been picking with him about all day, to go with a white pair of short and white shoes. Sasuke had pocketed Naruto's manual after Naruto kept bragging about his new and improved bike and he had to say, he was right.

Sasuke whistled and his eyes widened as he read through what was in the manual Tenten wrote, "This thing is bad… Did you know your bike can-?"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Naruto cut him off, "I don't want to know deputy. I would rather find out through personal experience when I ride it and can test the stuff out."

"Yeah whatever." Sasuke disregarded that kind of thinking as stupid, "But seriously, this thing lets you channel chakra through it and you can do stuff like-."

"Sasuke I don't want to know. Let me find out all on my own, seriously. Get your own kickass bike and then you can tell everybody within earshot what it does." The two stepped aboard a subway train, "I still don't know why we didn't just take the motorcycle to get there. Then I could test it."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and gave Naruto the manual back, "Because there's no way in hell I'm riding on the back of a motorcycle with another guy, that's something you do with your girlfriend, not me." He looked around as people began to file into the train, "Why are we going to the outside of town anyway? This seems like a waste of time."

Naruto shrugged as they took a seat on the bench, "I don't know. Ero-sennin just handed me a mission scroll when I showed up for training yesterday, gave me the day off, and said I have work today now that school's over. And you just wanted to come along because you're bored."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Yes I'm bored. I'm not working on the case, school is over for the summer, Itachi is teaching the special forces so I can't train with him, and dad is always super busy. There's nothing to do." He looked at Naruto who had his mission scroll out to read, "What's the mission anyway?"

Naruto frowned, "Another protection detail, I'm getting sick of those. They're all I'm getting. And the client is a mystery, the scroll said he'd find us when we got there."

Sasuke nodded, "That's rough. Just so I know, I'm getting some of the money for this right?"

Naruto remained silent as the train started moving. With all of the stops around the city they would have over an hour before they actually reached their stop so he placed his earphones in and started listening to music to pass the time. Sasuke was digging through his backpack looking for something to do. Fifteen minutes out, both boys were extremely bored and took to people watching for their own mild amusement.

From the course of their people watching they noticed a teenager sitting across from them staring at them. He had dark grey hair with a long bang covering one eye. He had what appeared to be blue lipstick on and brown eyeliner to go with the bead necklace he had. He had on a black sleeveless shirt, black pants, brown boots, a strange purple rope tied around the back around his waist, and black spiked wristbands on his arms. One of his most glaring traits however, was the thing that seemed to be protruding from the person's upper back.

Naruto and Sasuke quickly noticed this person staring at them and when he didn't look away they started staring right back. The guy was their age with a smirk of sorts pasted onto his face. Naruto elbowed Sasuke in the arm, "Hey Deputy. That guy's totally checking you out. Go on, you can finally get yourself a boyfriend to take care of you, and he looks even more emo than you. Go get him Sas-uke."

Sasuke punched Naruto hard in the arm, "Go fuck yourself Dobe. He's looking at you. He seems like he'd go for the more exotic looking ones like you."

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Goddamn it…" Sasuke muttered, seeing the smirk on Naruto's face at hearing his buddy's name be called out by the strange teen, "Yeah…" Sasuke said, as if he really didn't want to know what this guy had to say.

"Good." The person said, "My name is Sakon. In the interests of my master he has instructed me to ask you to follow me."

Sasuke and Naruto both raised eyebrows in interest as the Uchiha looked over at Naruto, "Is this the guy that asked you to do the same thing the other day?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, but they do both look like they could possibly be gay. Let's find out for sure." Naruto turned to the now identified Sakon, "What if he says no? How are you supposed to respond to that?"

Sakon chuckled, "I was instructed that obtaining Sasuke Uchiha was my paramount goal and that nothing was to obstruct it. Now Sasuke, don't make me kill your friend and hurt you to get what I want."

Both Naruto and Sasuke started laughing. Sasuke pointed a thumb at Sakon, "He thinks he can beat both of us at the same time? There's two of us and one of him, this would be a total slaughter!"

Naruto nodded, still laughing, "It's definitely not for the same guy that wanted me to go with him. At least he was smart enough to fight in the open so he could run away when he was outmatched. Where is this guy going to go when we start kicking his ass?"

Sakon stood up and started cracking his fists, prompting the other denizens of the train to move out of the way of both sides, "I really think you should take this under serious consideration. I know of you both and I am able to handle you both at the same time, I assure you of that."

The two boys looked at each other and stood up, slinging their backpacks back on their backs. Naruto cracked his neck while Sasuke started rolling his wrists out, "I'm only going to tell you this one time with all the humility I can possibly summon up; my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am the _greatest_ fighter that has _ever _lived, period. You will not beat me so save yourself the pain and humiliation and save me the time and the chance of breaking my hand on your face and just walk away. You're not getting paid enough to deal with me, trust me."

Sakon laughed, "Well then show me and prove it, or get out of my way and let Sasuke Uchiha come with me."

Naruto shrugged, "Whatever you say." Naruto quickly slung his backpack off and used the momentum to swing it at Sakon, who lifted his arm to block the attack meant for his head. It was a good thing he did too, because the backpack was extremely heavy. Naruto pulled his backpack back as Sasuke came forward and rocketed a fist at Sakon who caught it in his grasp and threw Sasuke to the side at the onlooking civilians.

Sasuke caught himself using a pole meant to help people stand on the train and swung back around at Sakon to deliver a kick that the opponent blocked again, however Naruto had long since put his backpack back on from his opening surprise attack and delivered a punch to Sakon's body that took his breath, allowing Sasuke to shift in the air off of the strange boy's arm and deliver a downward kick that caught him in the head and sent him to the floor.

Sakon pulled himself to his feet with a sneer on his face, "Lucky shots." He said, "It won't happen again."

Naruto and Sasuke set themselves into fighting stances next to one another. Naruto smirked at his bold proclamation, "Me and Sasuke-teme have been fighting together since elementary school. Two-on-one you can't touch us. Hell, two-on-two you'd still be hard pressed to match us."

Sasuke smirked alongside his friend, "So either pick yourself a partner from the people here, or just let me arrest you now and save us the run-around. Either way, you're going to jail so it doesn't matter to us, and we were looking for something to occupy our time on this long-ass train ride anyway."

"Cute." Sakon replied, "But we haven't even gotten started yet." A smirk came back to his face, "Because you two have one major disadvantage that I don't." His eyes flashed dangerously, "You two are just a couple of justice driven bleeding hearts."

Both wondered what he meant until quick as a flash he pelted the wide area with two handfuls of shuriken. Sasuke immediately dodged the ones meant for him with the use of his Sharingan and rushed Sakon to attack him until he realized that there were still far too many that didn't come near him. He turned his head behind him to see that Naruto had Kage Bunshin with their bowie knives out, blocking the shuriken from harming the others.

Sasuke turned his head back towards Sakon too late and saw the madly grinning teen come at him with his fist cocked back in real-time slow motion, "Tarenken (Multiple Connection Punches)!" Too late to do anything about it to dodge, Sasuke put his hands up to block, but still took a punch from Sakon that sent him flying backwards. From the looks of things, the punch came from three different arms connected to one in the middle, weird, but Sasuke's eyes were never wrong about what they saw.

Naruto watched Sasuke take the punch and get sent flying, plowing a path through the people, knocking them down and flinging him out the door at the back of the car, "Sasuke!"

"Worry about yourself!" Naruto turned back to Sakon to wind up taking a punch to the face that sent him staggering to the side, sending him falling into the bench sitting down. Naruto moved his head and body to the side and watched Sakon's fist smash the window behind him, spider-webbing the glass. Naruto kicked Sakon in the body to jar him and then lashed out with kick directed at Sakon's head from his place on his side, but watched in surprise when an arm emerged from Sakon's shoulder to keep Naruto from nailing him in the head.

"What the fuck?" Naruto said to himself as the arm went back inside of Sakon. Sakon latched onto Naruto's leg and swung him off of the bench into the metal pole, colliding his body off of the metal and leaving a nice dent in it. Naruto got to his hands and knees, reeling from the damage he took and wound up getting the tip of Sakon's boot into his ribs.

"Tarenkyaku (Multiple Connecting Kicks)!"

Or what felt like three different boots hitting him right in his ribs, all throughout evenly and equally as hard. He may have been all healed up, but he was still tender, it had only been a week since he had been cleared and that kick seriously hit home.

"What happened to you two kicking my ass?" Sakon said, laughing as he saw Naruto spit out some blood after his kick(s) drilled him in the body, "I don't know what the master sees in your Uchiha friend, but I sure don't get it!"

"You will."

Sasuke came flying at Sakon from behind and launched a kick that was caught by two arms that protruded from Sakon's back. Sasuke contorted himself in mid-air and slammed a kick to the strange growth protruding from Sakon's back hoping that it could have been a weak point of some kind.

Sakon didn't particularly flinch and turned around with an ax kick that Sasuke backflipped out of the way of, leaving him facing Sakon who looked angry at Sasuke's attack. He then noticed that all of the people in the car had been evacuated to a different one, "Like I said, a bleeding heart. You're not worth my master's time."

"You keep talking about this master of yours." Naruto growled out, grateful that Sasuke showed up and got Sakon off of him, "Can we get a name for the guy that we're saying 'fuck you' to?"

Sakon glared spitefully at Naruto, "Keep your mouth shut about-!" He bit his tongue at the last second, "It doesn't matter what you say to me trash. You'll be dead in a matter of minutes."

Naruto pulled out his cellphone, grateful that it hadn't been broken yet, "Well you have thirty minutes to shut my mouth before these doors open and your ass gets hauled off to jail. You can bet Itachi is going to be getting his ass in gear after he hears that you're trying to kidnap his little brother. You do know Itachi Uchiha don't you?" He saw Sakon recoil at the sound of Itachi's name, "Wow, so other people _do_ piss their pants at the thought of fighting Itachi." He looked at Sasuke, "What do we have to do to get respect like that?"

Sasuke set himself back in his stance, "That's not really respect Dobe, that's fear."

Naruto picked his ear, "Fear, respect… whatever. The point is, I want that."

Sakon frowned, "Then I guess I'll have to hurry this up and get the Uchiha." He smirked, "It's time to wake up dear brother."

Naruto and Sasuke both looked at him oddly until a new voice entered the equation, "This had better be good Sakon. You know how I hate getting involved for nothing."

Sasuke stared at the moving growth on Sakon's back, "What. The. Fuck."

Sakon smirked as he felt his brother stirring, "Oh it is Ukon. We're here for the Uchiha, and this blonde piece of trash decided to get in our way. You can handle him however you like. I know you're impatient. If I let you fight the Uchiha you might just kill him."

Ukon grumbled, "Fine. I'll deal with the rodent." With that his body seemed to separate from Sakon's to take his own, dressed the same, only without the bead necklace or the spiked wristbands. He immediately launched himself at Naruto who blocked his flurry of offense that drove him back first against the door to the train car. Ukon came back in for another punch, but Naruto jumped up and held onto an overhead bar to kick Ukon right in the chest, taking the momentum of the fight in his favor.

Sasuke tried to take advantage of Sakon while he had just released his brother and came forward. Sakon blocked Sasuke's front high kick, but while Sasuke was lowering his leg from the attempt he spun back around and hit a spinning backfist on the twin he was locked in combat with.

Sakon seethed as his head snapped to the side from the force of the shot and out of the corner of his eye he saw the Sharingan that he was here to target, 'That is the famed Sharingan that master is so interested in. And sending me after the baby of the family is the best strategy. Still, he is rather talented. I can only imagine going against an older one… they might be weaker, but their bloodline wouldn't be as strong. I'll still win though.'

Ukon body tackled Naruto into the door again hard, taking the air from Naruto. Naruto dropped several hard elbows to the back of Ukon's and neck upper back as he could feel him trying to lift him off of the ground double-leg style. Ukon kneed Naruto in the legs and stomped on his feet hard to loosen his balance before finally picking him up. He took a few good steps back and rammed Naruto through the door before letting him go.

Naruto bounced off of the outside of the door on another car and fell, his head hanging over the space between cars, giving him a good look at the track they were speeding over. He picked his head up to see Ukon's foot coming towards his face that he caught before Ukon slammed his knee into the side of his head. Naruto almost fell between the cars to his death but caught himself with his hands on one car and his feet on another. Ukon stomped hard on his back to push him down, but Naruto held fast.

Taking a chance and sick of getting beaten on, Naruto pushed himself up from his position with one hard push that righted him, placing him and Ukon on different cars. Naruto thrust kicked Ukon in the stomach pushing them both back first against their respective cars.

Both were breathing heavily. Naruto because he had been fighting at a fast pace the entire time, he didn't know why Ukon was tired. They had just gotten started. All of a sudden, a strange marking travelled down from Ukon's forehead down to his entire body, giving Naruto a déjà vu flashback. Naruto immediately remembered his fight with the bouncer. It was supposed to be easy until those markings appeared, and then everything went to hell.

"I'm sick of playing with you." Ukon said, "Trash like you should know when to lay down and die."

Naruto smirked as the two stood no more than five meet apart, "But trash wouldn't be so annoying if it just disappeared when it was convenient would it?"

"Well said words for a dead man." Ukon said before he closed the gap and bullrushed Naruto into the next car off of sheer physical force as he had next to no momentum to do so. He looked around and saw that he was once again on a car with people, and with no Sasuke to evacuate them he was going to have to take great care with this fight.

XxX

(Sasuke vs. Sakon)

Sakon stood looking at Sasuke who was waiting on him to make a move. Sasuke was in no rush, Sakon was the one that was on the clock. He had thirty minutes to nab Sasuke and make himself scarce before the full fury of the Uchiha headed Konohagakure Police Force came down on him and his brother's heads. However he could not leave without Sasuke in tow. That would be a death sentence for his failure.

"We don't have to fight you know." Sakon said, "Really, it would be better for you if you just came with me. Orochimaru-sama sees much potential in you, more than anyone else In your family. Clearly since they were never good enough to get anywhere near him all those years ago."

Sasuke's eyes widened, "Orochimaru? That's who sent you after me?" His eyes then narrowed, "Well allow me to extend my generosity towards his _generous_ offer." Sasuke then pressed forward harder than he had before. Sakon was just as fast as Sasuke was, but with Sasuke's Sharingan active he might as well have been slower for all the good that it did him. Any attack the young soldier of Orochimaru launched, Sasuke could see it and dodge it accordingly.

And when Sasuke physically responded, Sakon had no answer or counter fast or effective enough to keep him from getting a fist or a shin to the face or body. A kick to the side of the face sent him face first against the cold glass of the subway car. He rolled away before Sasuke's fist could sandwich his head harshly between it and the window. Sasuke pulled his hand back and shook his fist out, he had cut it on the last punch as it had cracked the glass.

Sakon grit his teeth at the thought of Sasuke getting the upper hand and a strange marking spread from his forehead all the way down his body, "You'll witness the power that Orochimaru-sama can give when I break your body here and now!"

Okay, now it was bad for Sasuke, because this guy was fucking fast now. Faster than him. Not as fast a Rock Lee, then Sasuke really might have gotten scared, but from the three punches that landed hard to his face he was in some jeopardy here. What were those markings supposed to be? They super-charged him and put him right back into the fight.

Sasuke was grabbed by the collar and slammed into the steel pole before being lifted off of the ground and held there by Sakon who looked at him smugly, "Just give up, I'm not sure if I'd get in trouble for sending you to Orochimaru-sama piece by piece, but I'm not afraid to. *laughs* As far as I'm concerned you're just an overrated piece of trash not worth his time." He gestured to himself, "You're not worth being given this power."

"I don't want you power." Sasuke strained out, "Because it's not yours, it's borrowed." Sasuke got a tight grip on Sakon's arm to loosen his grip and punched him in the face five hard times. He was dropped to the ground and moved back while still holding Sakon's slack arm before the enraged boy could attack. Sasuke then jumped back as hard as he could, dragging Sakon with him by the arm and pulled him with all of his body weight and momentum face first into the pole hard enough to make a loud, ringing clang sound with his skull, "Why would I want power from a psychopath like Orochimaru anyway? He hides like a rodent. He knows who I am and what I'm doing but he won't face me, he sends his cronies like you to do it for me. You can take Orochimaru's 'power' and you can shove it right up your-."

Sakon growled and came forward again, transforming completely as his skin turned red, his hair grew longer, a single horn appeared on the left side of his head, and his right arm became what looked to be armor hardened, probably the entire right side of his body was.

Sasuke had his back against the door on the other end of the car as he made hand-seals, "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)!" Using a jutsu was horribly risky from the start of this fight. At first there were too many people around to do so safely, then there was the fact that anything as big as his grand fireball was too big to use in a subway car without maybe turning it onto himself somehow, in addition to the fact that all of his wire was in his backpack and he wasn't being given time to discreetly reach for it.

The smaller fireballs only slowed Sakon down a smidge, and as they burned through parts of his clothing revealed that, yes, he did have that armored look on the entire right half of his body. Sakon took the hits that came into contact with his body with a grunt of pain, doused the flames that sprang from it, and punched Sasuke right in the stomach against the door, denting it badly from the impact and dropping Sasuke to his knees.

"You're the lucky one." Sakon said as he pulled Sasuke back to his feet by the neck and shoved him against the dented door that was obviously not going to open ever again from the damage done to it, "We'll capture you and bring you to Orochimaru-sama. Your friend, the blonde nobody who thought it would be a good idea to fight? My brother will take care of him in the cruelest way we can. He's not nearly as nice as me. He hates long fights."

Sasuke's mind had been working frantically even when he almost whited-out off of the impact from Sakon's hit. But Sakon was too talkative for his own damn good. You see, normally if he had been in good physical condition, Sasuke would have replaced Sakon's words with a mixture of 'blah, blah, blah' and 'random generic bad guy monologue' and waited impatiently for the fight to continue. However now that it was evident that in the case of a straight fight, he wasn't going to last long enough to even make it to the next stop (getting beaten up by Itachi taught him when he was overmatched) his mind pushed itself to figure out some way to take the upper hand, and then Sasuke realized it.

He didn't have his hands up.

In all of Sakon's arrogance he was holding Sasuke's neck with one hand and didn't have his other free one ready to defend in case of desperation attack. You don't keep your guard down in an actual fight unless your opponent is dead, or you're sparring, and even then it's frowned upon. He thought Sasuke was beaten, he thought he was a quitter.

He thought he fought fair.

And that was his mistake, because even though he was a police officer in training and had a sense of justice and right and wrong, right and wrong had no place in a fight. The only reason Sasuke hadn't gone low thus far was because Sakon seemed preconditioned to guarding his junk. But he left open another avenue of dirty fighting that Sasuke saw basically gift wrapped for him, especially since he had been lifted off of the ground and was at a face to face level with… Sakon's eyes. Let's see how fast he was four inches away.

Sasuke's hands shot out from his sides to cover Sakon's eyes with his palms, "Hands up bitch, Shinkei Hakai (Nerve Disruption)!" Sasuke had been working his ass off to learn the from jutsu scrolls he had lucked out on and come into possession of. Especially once he found out his second elemental affinity, lightning.

Sasuke sent a quick, precise pulse of lightning to a particular nerve of Sakon's to disrupt it momentarily. Normally this would make something numb and useless for the time being like an arm would fall asleep and one couldn't effectively use it as it would be as effective as a limp noodle for the time being. Only in this case, Sasuke hit Sakon's eyes and the same thing happened… only with his eyes. More or less he made Sakon as blind as a bat, and there was nothing he could do, because weird, freaky transformation powers or not eyes were eyes and they were always a weak spot.

Sakon immediately dropped Sasuke and began furiously rubbing at his eyes. He didn't feel any pain, but after Sasuke covered them with his palms everything went dark. He wasn't even seeing spots. Going inexplicably blind would freak anyone out so he fell down and began thrashing about, kicking at anywhere and anything, yelling for Sasuke to show himself and about how he would eviscerate him when he found him… you know, normal stuff that happens when someone goes blind.

"Tell me everything you can about Orochimaru."

Sakon heard Sasuke's voice and seethed at him sounding so calm. Until that dirty trick went down he was a mess, and now he was acting so cool and in control? Fuck him, "You'll find out everything yourself when I bring you to him, thought I don't know how useful you'll be paralyzed!" His vision was starting to come back, but he still couldn't see, so he took to his feet and placed his back against the nearest wall. The door he had destroyed with his punch on Sasuke.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Especially since you won't be doing anything to me anytime soon. You can just consider yourself under arrest."

Sakon's vision returned blurrily, and then steady enough to see clearly and his jaw dropped, "What have you done?" Sasuke had run metal wiring throughout the entire car, from the first bar connecting the long bench on the side to the ceiling, all the way to the other side of the car where he was standing by the door that Naruto and Ukon had blasted open and broken with a victorious smirk on his face, "You think this will hold me here?" He yelled.

Sasuke's smirk never fell, "Yeah, actually I really do."

Sakon smirked in return, "You think I got on this train with no exit strategy?" Sasuke's smirk fell in return for a more conserved look, "The second I got on this train my allies sent a call out. If this train stops while I'm still on it, explosives will be detonated on every other car, taking every single person out." He began to laugh, "Don't you get it? You're not getting any help, no one's coming to arrest me except you, and you can't even get me off this train. You won't get another lucky shot like the one you just got, and eventually I'm going to break through this and finish you off! And even if I don't my brother should be finishing up with that poor chump you had with you and should be on his way to finish you himself!" His laughter increased, "You lose!"

"So what happens if you die?"

Sakon's laughter stopped, "What?"

Sasuke's face was stone cold, "You heard me. What happens if you die on this train and can't get me off? What happens then? It seems like a waste to do anything after I kill you and the train doesn't stop. Even if you blew the explosives at that point what purpose would that serve except to come off as an act of terrorism and put focus back on Orochimaru which is abundantly clear he doesn't really want if you not saying his name while others were on the car is any indication. Hell, you even said failing your mission would end with you dying, so your exit strategy isn't really so sound."

"Y-You can't kill me." Sakon said to Sasuke, "You're a cop. Don't you have to read my rights and take every measure to bring me in alive?"

Sasuke shrugged, "I'm actually a trainee. And you were resisting arrest. I mean, look at all of these witnesses." He said sarcastically while gesturing around to the empty car where there was absolutely no one. Sasuke slowly started making hand-seals, "No. Don't." Sasuke said in a dull, deadpan voice, "Stop. This is your last warning. Surrender." He continued on in monotone.

"No don't!" Sakon yelled as he tried to move his body through the ugly unmanageable maze of wire that Sasuke had strung up, "Stop!"

Sasuke frowned, "You're just like every other bad guy I've ever dealt with. First you try to fight, then you try to run, and now that you realize you have no way out you're either going to bribe me or try to reason with me."

"Orochimaru-sama will give you power! Just let me live!"

"Right on cue. Sorry, but a madman's power isn't worth the lives of others." Sasuke said as he placed the end of a wire into his mouth and finished his hand-seals, "And sorry for the long wait. I just needed you to get in the wire like an idiot to try and run so I could actually finish you off with this." Hearing that, Sakon tried to escape only to realize he was caught, "Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Flame Jutsu)!"

From Sasuke's mouth flew a fire that ran along all of the wire he had strung up in the car and hit Sakon's body that was caught in it as he tried to manage his way out in an effort to escape. He was fully engulfed and screamed in pain as his body was cooked inside the subway car. Sasuke leaned on the wall outside of the door and waited for the screams to stop so he could confirm the kill, "You should be thanking me. Now at least when you go to hell you'll be used to the climate."

XxX

(Meanwhile – Naruto vs. Ukon)

Naruto knew those markings on Ukon made this fight a whole lot harder, but wasn't ready when Ukon's skin turned red, he grew a horn, and he more or less transformed in front of Naruto's eyes. All of the people who saw that immediately fled the car screaming monster, leaving Naruto and Ukon inside alone, 'Well that takes care of one problem…' Naruto thought cynically.

Ukon's speed increased even more, clear from when he came at Naruto again, straight ahead. His strength too from what Naruto could tell when he wound up getting punched in the face and saw darkness for a moment while he went sliding across the floor. The shock of his head hitting a bar trailing to the ceiling ironically brought him back to consciousness. Naruto grabbed the pole and pulled himself up, channeling enough youki to go feral in appearance, shocking Ukon at Naruto's attempt to match his power, "Just because you're a real monster doesn't mean anything! You're still going to die!"

Naruto's response was to form a large blue fireball in his hand, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!" He threw it at Ukon who jumped up on the bench to dodge and let it hit the back door, searing the way they had come from shut due to the intensity of the demonically charged fireball, "Damn it!" Naruto cursed and launched himself at Ukon.

From his elevated place on the bench, Ukon tried to kick at Naruto's head until Naruto ended up sweeping his legs out from under him violently with a kick of his own, sending him crashing down onto the bench with his body. Naruto punched down at Ukon's head but missed and dented the bench deeply with his fist, getting kicked in the head for his troubles. Ukon got back up and delivered a hard punch to Naruto's stomach before grabbing the side of his head and slamming it into a nearby metal pole.

Naruto saw stars and was disoriented enough for Ukon to take his head and slam it into the window hard enough to shatter the glass with his head. This guy wasn't fucking around, he wanted Naruto dead. He attempted to throw Naruto out of the broken window, but Naruto held fast as he could feel the jagged remains of the window cut into his palms. Who cared about that right now? There was a guy trying to throw him off of a moving subway train. Too bad for him, to get good enough leverage to do that he had to leave himself a wide base, or in other words keep his legs spread.

Narut shot his leg between Ukon's legs and hit home, getting the demonic looking boy off to back off of him to hold his family jewels after Naruto may have cracked them with the heel of his shoe. Naruto ran forward and threw a powerful front kick that caught Ukon in the face since his hands were down. Naruto pressed his advantage, jumping up and swinging his body around a pole to savagely kick Ukon in the side of the head, sending him reeling.

As he stumbled back, Ukon sent out a kick that more or less became a trip and caught Naruto unaware, sending him stumbling and falling forward, catching himself on the bench. Ukon grabbed the back of Naruto's head and started slamming the front into the metal seat repeatedly.

Naruto let his body go limp so he could fall to the side and stop the assault as he could feel the blood coming down his face from where he was smashed in the head. Ukon let go of his head and cruelly let it bounce off of the ground spitefully to begin stomping Naruto's body with the heel of his boot. Naruto grit his teeth as he counted three shots before let go a rush of adrenaline and took his feet. He didn't like using his claws, but damned if he didn't bring them out and take a swing for Ukon's throat with them. Too bad all he got was a shallow swipe across his face that cut enough to send blood onto the seats.

Ukon sent a wide punch out that Naruto blocked with the outside of an arm, letting the equally fast Uzumaki in close to hit him with a brutal headbutt to the face. Ukon stumbled back, body in pain from the brutal fight and with Naruto's own blood staining him from that last attack. Naruto was cutting a pace that he was barely able to match. He spent so much time in his brother that he wasn't used to being outside for long periods of time and got tired easily, hence why he came at Naruto so hard to finish the fight before he gassed out. But he wasn't anticipating Naruto being directly able to match his power.

Naruto was having a great time actually. After getting his ass kicked by Jiraiya for an entire week he found it refreshing to get punched in the face by someone else, especially someone else that wasn't nearly as strong as Jiraiya was. One clean hit from Jiraiya was definitely enough to make him second-guess fighting him, but not this guy. Even in Ukon's charged up form that would have finished him off before he'd awakened his demonic blood, he wasn't even considering going to his ascended form because that would be overkill.

It was a battle of attrition that Naruto was dominating because the other guy was sweating buckets and breathing heavily while all Naruto had to show was a few scratches here and there from the glass and the real cut at his hairline that he didn't even count as actual battle damage since it came from already existing scar tissue. Naruto had no problems with bleeding, none whatsoever, this was his kind of fight… Besides, the cut was already healing.

Suddenly in a puff of smoke, a kunai knife appeared in Ukon's hand that he came at Naruto with. Naruto ducked and formed a Kage Bunshin that tried grabbing Ukon from behind until it was dispelled by the twin turning and slashing it. That was just a diversion for Naruto to grab his own knife back from under his pant leg to combat Ukon's.

Ukon cursed to himself as he saw Naruto stand up with the large bowie knife he had in his hand. Not only did that thing have a ridiculous amount of reach on his kunai to still be called a knife, it had a guard near the handle so Naruto could afford to be a little reckless with his defense, and from the look in Naruto's eye he was pretty sure he knew how to use it.

Ukon grimaced at the idea of a knife fight, him being as tired as he was anyway, before smirking. He threw his kunai directly at Naruto who dodged narrowly to the side to avoid it, he couldn't block it at such close range safely for fear of the ricochet. Naruto fell in the bench and held his knife out defensively prepared for Ukon's follow-up when he saw nothing.

"What are you looking for?" Ukon's voice said right next to Naruto's ear.

Naruto jolted in his seat and turned to the side where on his shoulder sat Ukon's head, "What the fuck?"

Ukon laughed, "It's over trash. Kisei Kikai no Jutsu (Parasite Demon Demolition Jutsu) lets me rest in your body and merge our chakra networks so that I can use my own to corrode your body down to a cellular level. And yes, just so you know, it will hurt." He began to laugh.

"Fuck." Naruto said to himself before something hit him, "Wait, our chakra networks are merged?" He smirked and began to channel his own chakra throughout his body.

And just like he figured, it went through Ukon too, with some very interesting effects. Ukon spit up blood, "What? What is this? How did you turn it on me?"

Naruto grinned through his bloody crimson mask ferally, "No matter how potent your chakra is for that jutsu to work on normal people, I'm not human, at least not fully anyway, and my chakra is way stronger than yours by nature. You've got the chakra of a demon running through your body dumbass! And yes, it's supposed to hurt!" Naruto taunted, but he chalked that up to him turning the tables on Ukon… that and his heightened bloodlust.

Ukon quickly disengaged from Naruto's body and materialized in the seat across from Naruto, breathing heavily and steadily coughing blood. His monstrous form receded into the strange markings, and those quickly disappeared too.

Ukon was livid at his kekkei genkai being bested and he launched himself at Naruto savagely. Naruto simply leaned back in the bench, pulled his legs back, let his feet keep Ukon from fully reaching him, and pushed off as hard as he could, kicking Ukon away and sending the boy flying out of the open window he had smashed with Naruto's head.

Naruto simply sat there and stared at the open window he had just thrown Ukon from. They weren't in a tunnel underground anymore. They had switched to tracks on a bridge, a bridge that was roughly one hundred and fifty feet in the air. He was definitely dead, and even if he had been made of cast iron and survived the fall somehow, the chakra poisoning he suffered would have seen to him.

With a sigh, Naruto leaned back in his seat, exhausted from his use of demonic power and barely noticed Sasuke enter through the open window, looking very beat up, but he himself couldn't talk much on that front. Sasuke noticed he was sitting on broken glass, frowned, looked over at Naruto's bloody face, noticed a distinct lack of Ukon in the car and raised an eyebrow, "You do this?" He asked, meaning the dents and smashes in the metal in the car and the busted window.

"Uh huh." Naruto replied simply, "What about yours?"

Sasuke rubbed his belly where Sakon had punched him, "I don't think anyone should go into that car. Ever again." Naruto gave him a strange look telling him to elaborate, "He resisted arrest."

"Oh." Naruto said in understanding. Sasuke had killed him. Why didn't he just say that? Fucking teme, trying to confuse him. His head had just bounced off more metal than a set of bumpers in a pinball table and he was trying to be clever. Fuck clever, Naruto wanted a nap.

Sasuke looked out the broken window, "You threw your guy out of the window-."

Naruto interjected lazily, "To be fair, he was going to die even if I didn't throw him out the window."

Sasuke ignored him, "And I barbecued a lead on Orochimaru to save the entire train." Sasuke grabbed a handful of hair in anger before slumping in his seat, "What other trainee has to deal with this for their first actual case?"

"And." Naruto added, "We still have to do my mission." Both boys sighed, "I hate public transportation."

XxX

(Elsewhere)

"Sakon and Ukon are dead. Sasuke Uchiha and the puny blonde with him were able to kill them both." A large deep voice said.

A feminine voice spoke next, "Good fucking riddance, those two cocksuckers were such a pain in the ass and total wastes of space. Why did Orochimaru-sama even bother sending those two at him anyway? They weren't as strong as they fucking thought they were."

The large sounding voice spoke again, "You shouldn't curse Tayuya, and Sakon was the strongest one out of all of us. If he couldn't beat the Uchiha then we need to rethink things."

"Shut the fuck up Jirobo." 'Tayuya' replied angrily, "I know that already. We'll come up with something, it can't be that hard. The Uchiha barely beat him. Sakon just got stupid and got himself fucked up in the end. He couldn't match his power."

Another voice started chuckling, "That Uchiha kid must have a higher difficulty than we thought, and that strange blonde kid that was with him has got to be up there too. I like it, it sounds like a challenge to me."

Tayuya sighed, "You know what… I don't care Kidomaru, I just don't fucking care alright. Tell the boss what happened to Sakon and Ukon, and make sure he knows that we're still dragging the Uchiha back to Orochimaru-sama. The last thing we want is for _him_ to have to come out to this shithole." The others shivered, "He'll probably kill all of us once the job is done just for taking so long."

* * *

Character Profile 9

Name: Itachi Uchiha

Nickname: Itachi-niisan (by Sasuke), aniki (by Sasuke), Itachi-teme (by Naruto during 'sparring')

Age: 20 (Birthday: June 9th)

Height/Weight: 5'11/179 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Sharingan kekkei genkai, mostly pacifistic personality, distinguishable tear troughs under his eyes, painfully aware of his own abilities and combat skill, extremely fast (ridiculously), fantastic taijutsu despite not specializing in it, proficient with a sword, is so skilled at genjutsu he can cast one often by simply pointing of looking at someone, very high intelligence and strategy, high level skill in multiple facets of ninjutsu. Gifted in all forms of combat.

Likes: Pocky, sweets, cabbage, onigiri, peace, training with Sasuke, 'sparring' with Naruto, alternative rock, quiet conversation, out of town assignments

Dislikes: Chaos, reprehensible crimes of a destructive or harmful nature, fangirls, techno music, violence.

Theme Song: "Cherub Rock" by Smashing Pumpkins.

Notes: Itachi was groomed to take over the reins of the Konohagakure Police Force from his father Fugaku since the age of seven. He has excelled in every endeavor he has undertaken since his youth be it academics where he was a straight A student to his graduation of high school, his police training where he was more or less seen as an official member of the force at the age of ten (two years before he could officially be accepted as a trainee on the force), or in his personal training of all forms of combat (Itachi is seen as one of the most powerful people in Konoha). He is a very courteous and respectful man, and has a high sense of justice, except his justice is not as wide as most other officers. Itachi sees crimes such as petty theft as mere trifles compared to true crimes such as major heists, murder, rape, etc. which is why, despite his delinquent background Itachi finds Naruto to be a very pleasant person, and a fine young man, thus why he allows and encourages the friendship between Naruto and his brother Sasuke, believing that giving his younger sibling a more worldly view by way of his relationship with Naruto will help Sasuke in the end as an effective peacekeeper for Konoha.

Quote: "Foolish little brother."

"Those who turn against their comrades and the values they once believed in are sure to die a terrible death. Be prepared."

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying."

"Nobody can be exactly like me... Sometimes even I have trouble doing it."

"Life needs background music."

"I _could_ let you go, but I'm supposed to be a big deal in this city, and if I let you go you'd just come right back and do something else stupid that would make me have to come after you again, so all I'd really be doing would be prolonging the inevitable. Anyway, you're under arrest."

Character Profile 10

Name: Tenten

Nickname: The Human-Armory of Kaisha Hein

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'3/101 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Skilled at long-range weaponry (mostly steel projectiles), very talented wire-user, good with explosives, very good with melee-based combat both with weaponry and taijutsu, gifted support fighter, exceptional markswoman. Is a skilled mechanic, inventor, computer hacker/programmer. Very good at analyzing in combat, can measure the perfect distance to hit a target. Inquisitive personality. Distinct bun-styled hair.

Likes: All kinds of weapons, fortune telling, Tsunade-sama, Chinese food, creating new tools to use, building her own equipment, dragons, fun battles.

Dislikes: Plums, being left uninformed, weakness, rude people, sexist remarks/people, easy fights.

Theme Song: "A Million Ways" by OK Go.

Notes: Tenten is a talented young mercenary under contract to Kaisha Hein. Having joined the PMC at the age of 12, Tenten spent much of her years on the lower end of the totem pole, harnessing her skills and slowly working her way up the ladder. She was allowed in for a seemingly inherent and almost instinctual ability to hit anything and everything with any kind of projectile weapon, something honed through hours and hours of intense practice that has been the hallmark of her career thus far. A lesser known skill is Tenten's knowledge of machinery of all sorts. Another even more obscure talent of hers is that in the realm of electronics. Tenten believes much of Kaisha Hein's operatives to be "dinosaurs" not taking full note of the technological advances being made everyday due to the two latent talents of hers being set aside for her skills with ranged weapons. Only since Naruto Uzumaki's discovery of her talents in the other departments mentioned has she finally been able to show her creative spark and skills.

Quote: "You're right, I'm just a girl. A girl that can kill you from 100 yards away with a throwing knife, would you like to see?"

"Yes, it's quite clear that you're a man and I'm a woman, but I have a few bladed instruments that can fix that problem for you if you'd like."

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a major sports team, or some kind of heavy specialized weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

"Words don't hurt. I could say. 'Fuck you. You're an ugly son of a bitch and no one loves you. I'm going to stab you.' And yeah, you might feel bad for a minute, but wouldn't you feel worse if I actually went ahead and stabbed you? No, words don't hurt. Weapons hurt."

"My weapons are fueled by rage… and chakra… but mostly rage."

"I need to come up with some new kind of weapon of mass destruction, and I swear to Kami if you say, 'I've got one right here in my pants.' I will castrate you with a hacksaw."

* * *

**Chapter done. I'm going to go do stuff since this is my last week off from college. I don't even care that much. I'm sure that will change next week when I'm back there, but for now I could not care less. Hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Kenchi out, and remember to feed the need. Write more fanfiction. I do it all the time. :)**


	35. Big Trouble, Little Brats

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. When I turn 21 I'm inviting Kishimoto out for a night of debauchery so that I can get him drunk, spike his drink, get him to sign over the rights to Naruto to me, and leave him in a dumpster somewhere outside of Kyoto City.

**Chapter 35: Big Trouble, Little Brats**

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(Tsuki no Kuni – Beach Resort)

Kyuubi was laying on one of the two beds in her family's hotel room repeatedly slamming her head against the mattress. This was the sight her mother Setsuna entered the room to check on her daughter, "Is there any reason that you're slowly concussing yourself with your bed?"

Kyuubi let her face drop on the bed and kept it there before pointing at the TV she had been watching. Setsuna sat on the bed and watched as a news report was being shown, "It's not even noon yet. What kind of report do they need to be showing?" Kyuubi let out a muffled groan in reply.

On the TV was Itachi being interviewed outside of a subway station in his usual monotone delivery, _"The unidentified assailants were defeated and neutralized by my younger brother Sasuke and another mystery citizen who decided to assist him. He refuses to be seen for a statement, but he would like to be identified as… *sigh* Hungwell Hamburger. The second body should be intact somewhere along the-."_

"Damn it Naru-kun…" Kyuubi said with her face still buried in the bed. She felt her mother was looking at her and decided to explain, "That's him… No one else would use a name that stupid for anything." She raised her head to give her mother a disgruntled look, "He and Sasuke got into a fight on the subway and killed two guys that tried to hold people hostage... or so the news said." He sat up and moved towards her nightstand, "I'm calling him."

Setsuna gave Kyuubi a smile, "Oh go ahead dear! Feel free!"

Kyuubi found Naruto's name in her contact list and gave her mother a dry look, "You're not leaving the room are you?"

"Of course not!" Setsuna said cheerfully.

"Wonderful." Kyuubi said sarcastically as she proceeded to call Naruto.

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – With Naruto and Sasuke)

Naruto grinned, a butterfly bandage on his head, as he and Sasuke exited the public bathroom of the subway station, "You see, I told you carrying a change of clothes and medical stuff was a good idea. Now I don't have to walk around bloody all day long and you don't look like you rolled around in an ashtray."

Sasuke scoffed, "It would have been nice to have that option _before_ the interview." He looked at Naruto scrutinizingly, "Why were you able to duck it and I had to be on TV? And what's with that stupid alias you gave to Itachi?"

The two exited the building and Naruto put his goggles over his face to block out the sun glare, "I have enough enemies right now, I don't need more attention Deputy, hence the alias, but I ducked it because while you were giving your fangirls something to tape on VHS for the Sasuke Uchiha compilation section of the video yearbook, I was giving Itachi my account of what happened and told him what was going on. Even the Orochimaru stuff… that he said he didn't know." He felt Sasuke's Sharingan-enhanced glare on him, "Was I not supposed to tell him that? My bad."

Sasuke stopped glaring and palmed his face, "Damn it. Months of work keeping Itachi and dad out of it and now it's all blown to shit. Thanks a lot Naruto."

"Don't blame Naruto-kun little brother." Both boys recoiled in fear at the presence of Itachi sneaking up on them, "He was simply doing what he was supposed to do. Now what is this about you withholding information on a cold case? That was rather foolish of you." Itachi's impassive eyes were rather intimidating without the Sharingan, that would be overkill in this case.

Before any answer could be given, Naruto's phone went off, "Um, I have to take this, but you two keep on talking." He put it to his ear and walked away from the two brothers, "Yes Kyuu-chan. No I didn't start that… Yes I'm alright… Heh, yeah, we kicked their asses, I threw his ass out of a window! From a moving train! That's a new one! … Hi Setsuna-kaachan!"

Sasuke looked at his older brother's stern gaze, "I know. I wanted to handle most of this on my own. I was going to tell you guys once I found enough to get a possible location on Orochimaru, I swear."

Itachi poked Sasuke in the forehead, "I understand, still it was not a very intelligent thing to do Sasuke-kun. From what Naruto-kun said he sent his underlings after you."

Sasuke nodded, "I didn't think he actually knew of me, I guess I was wrong. But the thing is, the guys we fought had some kind of powers. Some kind of markings spread over their bodies and made them way faster and stronger. Naruto said he fought a guy using that before, but he didn't know anything about it at the time."

"I see…" Itachi said, "Well do you remember those young assassins that came after you and Naruto-kun?" Sasuke nodded, "Well we've learned that they had a connection to Orochimaru. If you had told me this sooner I would have given you that information." Sasuke's face was gobsmacked, "It doesn't matter though. They were all just pawns. They had no information of use to us at all."

Sasuke rubbed his shoulder, "So do you need me to come back to the station?"

Itachi shook his head, "That won't be necessary. You can continue to follow Naruto-kun for the day, but you and I _will_ be talking about this when you get home. Mother and Father as well, understood?" He said.

Sasuke nodded dumbly, not wanting to get anymore on Itachi's nerves than he already had, "Got it Itachi."

"Run along then Sasuke-kun." Itachi said before heading over to where the police had set up shop for the situation.

Sasuke gave a deadpan look to Itachi's back as he walked away, "'Run along then Sasuke-kun,' ooohhh!" Sasuke mocked behind his brother's back until Itachi turned abruptly with his Sharingan active, prompting Sasuke to turn and walk away on his own swiftly. He caught up to Naruto who was still on the phone, "Dobe, you done?"

Naruto held up a finger telling him to wait a second, "Yeah I know you wish I was there Kyuu-chan…" Naruto said with a grin, "Yeah, I'd find us a secret beach spot so we could do 'you-know-what'… Your dad can't kill me... Why is that funny?"

Sasuke finally had enough and snatched the phone from Naruto's hand, "He'll call you back later Kyuubi." He heard her say okay through her laughter and hung up the phone before tossing it back to Naruto.

Naruto pocketed his phone and walked around the area, "Alright, my contact for the mission should be around here somewhere so let's start looking. The scroll said whoever it is would find us once we got out here."

Sasuke put his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun, "All of this commotion isn't going to help this person find us. Dobe do something mercenary-y to get their attention." Sasuke then proceeded to get lightly backhanded in the testicles, causing him to double over, "What the fuck!" He wheezed out painfully.

Naruto grinned, "There. Was that mercenary-y enough for you?" His response came in the form of a retaliatory strike from Sasuke that did the same to him, "You teme…" He said quietly.

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"You two alright?" A bearded man with spiky black hair asked them both with a confused look on his face. He had on a black button-up shirt, black slacks, and a cigarette in his mouth, "I'm going to assume you two are who I'm supposed to be looking for." He looked at them both, "I thought the old man only hired on mercenary though."

Naruto stood straight back up, still holding his balls, "Well I'm the mercenary. Naruto Uzumaki at your service. You lucked out, with me sometimes you'll get this guy tagging along. More bang for your buck. I'm the best money can buy, and broody here is my emo manservant. Sasuke Uchiha."

"Fuck you Naruto." Sasuke said in reply.

"Oi, remember your place motherfucker." Naruto said, "I'm Morris Day and you're Jerome bitch, don't you forget that."

Sasuke glared at him, "I really want to set you on fire right now."

"Right…" The man said with a sweatdrop, "Well, you two are with me. I'm Asuma Sarutobi, and I'm your contact Uzumaki."

Naruto nodded, "Understood. So who am I protecting you from?"

Asuma grinned, "Me? Why would I need anyone to protect me? I could probably kick your asses right here and now." He said, getting a rise out of Naruto and Sasuke both, "No offense."

Naruto sighed and held Sasuke back, "Don't try it. Most of the people that flat out say they can kick my ass and are older than me usually can kick my ass. So if you don't need protection then who the hell are we here to protect?"

Asuma motioned for them to follow him and they did as he started to explain, "Your contract is for a period of 24 hours as you already know. You are to protect a boy named Konohamaru Sarutobi, my nephew, while I and my father, Hiruzen Sarutobi are in a meeting."

Naruto picked his ear, "A kid. I'm good with kids, okay no problem. Who would be after the little guy? You guys have enemies?"

Asuma blew out smoke, "Yeah I guess when you make it to the position of Hokage in this town there are a few people that want to take a shot at you and the people you love." He noticed they both stopped walking, "What? You both didn't know I was the Hokage's kid?"

Sasuke felt like slapping himself, "Duh, Sarutobi. Of course they're related. But why does he need Naruto? Wouldn't he have his own bodyguards?"

"Yeah, for him." Asuma said as they neared a four door sedan that he unlocked, "He only has so many of us though, and even then he likes outsourcing work to Kaisha Hein, he's always had close ties to it. I was even in it for a while before I retired and went to work for him as a bodyguard."

Sasuke was about to ask him if he was serious about being a former mercenary when Naruto grabbed him, keeping him from doing so. He looked at Naruto for confirmation and he spoke up in Sasuke's stead, "I don't remember you, but you probably were there before I started hanging around."

Asuma had been moving towards the driver's side when he stopped and looked at Naruto, "Oh yeah, you were Kaisha Hein's cute little mascot that showed up a few years after I left. How's Kakashi by the way? Rin keeping him in line? How about Obito?"

Naruto opened the passenger's seat and got in, "I was not the mascot, I was just a kid that liked hanging out there. Kakashi-nii is fine, yes Rin-neechan kicks his ass regularly, Obito-nii's too… and mine."

Sasuke snorted back a laugh as he got into the backseat while Asuma didn't hide his amusement at all, letting out a deep laugh, "I thought so. Yep, good times. So what, are you trying to sway another Uchiha towards joining up?"

Sasuke scoffed and looked out the window as Asuma started the car, "I don't do this for the money or the kicks. The dobe needs help and I decided to help him. Don't look any further into it than that."

Naruto leaned back in his seat as Asuma pulled out of the parking lot and lowered all of the windows in the car, "Speaking of you helping me, those two damned wind jutsu that I swiped from you, I can't use them. One of them cuts my hand all to hell when I try it, the other because I don't even know how to use my element. Any tips teme?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Wrong element for me. I'm fire and lightning."

"You have two?" Naruto said incredulously, "You bastard, I can't use one and you have two."

"You use wind as your element?" Asuma commented as he drove the car, "No kidding? I have wind as my element too. I'd like to think I'm the premier wind user in Konoha. You'd have to go to Sunagakure to find anyone else that's any good at that kind of elemental manipulation." He looked to the side and saw Naruto giving him puppy-dog eyes, "What's eating you kid?"

Naruto looked up at Asuma trying to milk the absolute last of his childhood cuteness, hoping that at the current age he was at he hadn't lost it… however the fact that Asuma was a dude probably wasn't helping matters at all seeing as how women were the only ones he could convince with that face these days… and barely even them at that, "Would you help me with my element?"

Asuma turned his eyes back onto the road, "Kid I'm busy. I'm keeping watch over the most important man in the entire city if not the country, and am attempting to get some on a regular basis from one of my partners who is so hot it should be illegal for her to work with me. I don't have the schedule to train you."

Naruto sighed and slumped into his seat. He wanted to kick the dashboard in exasperation really badly, but it wasn't his car, and throwing a tantrum wouldn't do anything for him here, "So I'm screwed again. Well, I'm on vacation so maybe I can go to Suna. Temari totally owes me a favor and she knows it. I can get some help from her if I can leave the country anytime soon. If Ero-sennin would let up on his kicking of my ass and let me go."

Sasuke looked at Asuma, "It's not like Naruto wants you to train him or something. Handling the elemental training is pretty much something you do on your own. Just tell him how he's supposed to handle it. Right now for my lightning I'm supposed to be able to create a lasting charge in something metal. Tell him his way to start training his."

"Fine." Asuma said disgruntled, "Get a leaf. When you can split it in half with your chakra you get go to the next level."

"What's the next level?" Naruto asked Asuma.

Asuma didn't directly answer him, "Why don't you split the leaf first and then ask?"

Naruto blinked, "What if I can't find you again to learn what it is?"

Asuma chuckled and tapped his ashes out of the open window, "Gee that would be a shame wouldn't it? That would be your problem kid. I'm not your guardian or your babysitter. You'll have to find someone to help like I did. Our type of chakra element is rare."

"I already found somebody!" Naruto said, "He's just a lazy smoking assclown that won't help me out." Naruto's fingers drummed on the armrest testily, "You wouldn't give a crippled crab a crutch would you?"

"What?" Asuma and Sasuke both asked at Naruto's weird figure of speech. The older man shook it off and took another drag of his cigarette, "Whatever kid. All I know is you better be ready for this job. I don't like hiring kids."

Naruto gave him a deadpan look, "Well I'm sure if you were willing to shell out more than 100,000 ryo for someone above my average pay-grade you wouldn't be dealing with these kids. Hell, all I'm getting paid for this is 5000 ryo, and the teme's getting half of it. You're paying next to nothing for the two of us and you're bitching about it." He looked in the backseat at Sasuke through the side mirror, "This _below_ my average pay grade, I worked my way up from the bottom. I'm supposed to run 30,000 on average, even for babysitting crap like this. Why is Ero-sennin making me work for peanuts here?"

Sasuke shrugged, "You could ask him… or try to beat it out of him later?" He smirked when he saw Naruto glare at him from the side-view mirror, "Heh."

Naruto's glare intensified, "Yeah, well Itachi, and your dad, and Mikoto-kaa are going to take turns beating the shit out of you when you get home later for keeping the Orochimaru stuff away from them. You do know that Mikoto-kaa can whip your ass just as bad as the other two right? She was the one that kicked the shit out Obito-nii when he was a kid." Sasuke paled at that, "Oh you _didn't_ know that? Well you have something to ask her about when her heel is pressing your face into the dirt of your backyard later."

Asuma rolled his eyes, "If you two are done with your little penis-swinging contest, maybe you could focus on the job at hand. Namely; how you're going to protect my nephew." The car parked up, parallel on the side of the street. Asuma had taken them to a park in the middle of the city where apparently the child they were meant to protect was, "Alright. Let's go meet your responsibility for the duration of your contract." He said as he opened the door and exited the car.

Naruto and Sasuke got out as well and followed him to the playground where there was a woman with black hair and striking red eyes that made Sasuke think she was an Uchiha for a moment. She wore a white button-up blouse left open enough to show cleavage that Sasuke swiftly elbowed Naruto in the side to avert his attention from, as well as a dark blue skirt and black heels. She quickly noticed Asuma leading the two of them to her and she gave them an appraising look.

"Hey Kurenai." Asuma greeted as he walked over, "These are our would-be soldiers of fortune if you will."

Naruto gave her a toothy grin and walked forward with his hand extended, "Hi there, the name's Naruto Uzumaki. The other guy is Sasuke Uchiha. Nice to meet you Miss Kurenai!"

Kurenai raised an eyebrow as she looked at Naruto, not moving to shake his hand. Instead she turned to Asuma, "They're kids." Naruto face-faulted on the ground.

Asuma shrugged and pulled out another cigarette, "That doesn't mean anything. Kids these days can fight. That's the point isn't it? The new generation is always supposed to surpass the one before it, or so they say."

Kurenai nodded and looked at Sasuke, "Sasuke Uchiha. You were on the news just an hour ago. What are you doing here?"

Sasuke addressed the woman swiftly, if they didn't like who they ended up getting for the mission they could have just terminated Naruto's contract and let them both go home. It wasn't like Naruto needed the money, and he didn't need to try and be pleasant if they were going to be dicks the entire time, "I _was_ on the news, now I'm not. Anymore questions?"

Kurenai narrowed her eyes at him, "I don't see why Hokage-sama couldn't just take Konohamaru with him this time like he usually does. There's no need to hire these kids. It was a waste of money."

Asuma rubbed the back of his head, "You remember what Konohamaru did the last time dad took him with him because he was bored."

'Waste of money? Then hire a real fucking babysitter and shut the hell up.' Naruto thought vindictively, 'Don't break the contract Naruto… you already failed one mission, don't fail another.' Naruto sighed and took Sasuke's example of how to deal with these people, "Well then you can just pay me and I can leave. If you don't want me here that's fine, but I'm not wasting my entire day getting out here just to be told by the ones that hired me that they don't want me."

Kurenai's eyes shifted over to Naruto who frowned at the back and forth, "Aren't you mercenaries supposed to be loyal to the highest bidder or something? Or does the contract with your signature mean nothing in your PMC?"

Naruto's frown grew more pronounced as he crossed his arm, "Yes, I said I would take whatever mission I'm ordered to take when I joined Kaisha Hein, but there's not a whole lot I can do when my employers don't even want me here. If you think I'm not needed then tell me I can go, I'm still getting paid, but if you want us to stay then let me work. I don't even know why Sasuke is dealing with your crap, he doesn't have to be here for this. I do."

"I'm not leaving dobe." Sasuke said, "This is your call. If you want to walk away I'm with you, if these guys will stop sniping at you with their remarks and attitudes and actually let you work I'm with you as well." Sasuke again locked eyes with Kurenai and felt her chakra enter his system, genjutsu. Sasuke turned his Sharingan on as he dispelled the rather weak technique, "Or if she tries to get me to cow to her genjutsu again… I think I'll still be with you, you'll just have to punch me in the face."

Naruto cracked his knuckles with a grin, "I could get into that. Hey arbitrarily angry lady, put Deputy under a stronger genjutsu so I can hit him and feel good about myself." He said to Kurenai.

Asuma sighed and decided to step in before any bloodshed could be carried out, "Alright, let's end the little game of dueling egos. Kid I'm not terminating your contract. I can't do that anyway, only the old man himself can. I was doing this when I was your age so it would be hypocritical to say you can't. Besides, it is just watching a kid."

Naruto looked over at Asuma lazily, blinking a few times before turning his head towards the playground, "Well I assume that the kid I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on is the one that's running up the spiral slide and jumping off of it once he gets to the top, am I right?" Naruto asked, getting a nod and a sweatdrop out of both Asuma and Kurenai.

Asuma made a motion to Kurenai who stood up from the bench and walked over to him while speaking to Naruto and Sasuke, "I still don't like it, but orders are orders. We still have to get to his office anyway to meet with the others before his meeting anyway, so we're taking our leave."

Sasuke immediately took Kurenai's place on the bench while Naruto looked over at them, "That's fine. We're all set here anyway. If you need to reach one of us for something, my contact information is-."

"We already have it kid." Asuma said as Kurenai began walking back to the car, "If you let Konohamaru get hurt you-."

"I know." Naruto said dryly, "Some kind of horrific bodily harm will befall me and my career will be over. Or were you going to blatantly threaten me in some other way?" Naruto asked, "I know what the score is here."

Asuma nodded and followed Kurenai back to the car, leaving Naruto and Sasuke to their own devices. Sasuke pulled a laptop out of his backpack, "So what are you going to do now?"

Naruto shrugged, "I'm going to introduce myself to the kid. I can't protect him without him even knowing my name can I?" Sasuke grunted something unintelligible and Naruto made his way over to Konohamaru, a kid with spiky brown hair in a yellow t-shirt and grey shorts who was standing on top of the slide being watched by some other kids, apparently going through taijutsu katas… clumsily, 'This kid is going to hurt himself before I even get started.' "Konohamaru, could you come down here for a second?"

Konohamaru stopped and looked down to see a blonde guy in a closed orange vest, orange pants, goggles around his head, and with spiky blonde hair, "Who are you?"

Naruto grinned and pointed his thumb at himself, "Well I'm the guy that's going to be hanging out with you today, Naruto Uzumaki. Your grandfather sent me to make sure nothing happened to you for the day."

Konohamaru looked down from his elevated spot for a while before speaking again, "Alright…" He said tentatively, "Where did Uncle Asuma and Kurenai go?"

"They went to go protect your granddad." Naruto said, "So I guess we'll just wait here for your mother or until someone gets us." He pointed to the bench Sasuke was sitting at, "If you need anything, you can come get me or that guy sitting there and we'll help you out." Naruto finished with a thumbs up before walking back to Sasuke and sitting down where a leaf was shoved in his face, "What is this?"

"Start training dobe." Sasuke said, "I tried to use Google to find out how to train your chakra, but there isn't anything on here about it. I guess chakra use is still spread by word-of-mouth instead of over the internet. Makes sense though, if every yahoo knew how to use it like us that would make our jobs that much harder."

Naruto took the leaf from his friend and stared at it before channeling chakra into it, "How do I cut it? Man that Asuma guy was a dick, he could have at least told me how to do this. And that Kurenai lady was a bitch."

Sasuke blinked before turning to Naruto from his laptop, "Didn't you say something about some girl in Suna having wind-based chakra too?" Naruto nodded, "You keep the phone number of everyone you've ever met. Why not just call her and ask her?"

Naruto stopped focusing on the leaf, "Son of a bitch…" He pulled out his phone and quickly found Temari's number in his contact list, "I'm so stupid."

XxX

(Elsewhere – Kaze no Kuni)

Temari and Kankuro were well hidden in an alley outside of a warehouse, "Alright sis…" Kankuro said, "Here's the plan, I sneak in with Karasu disguised as the first crony that we can snatch up, we move about until I can find the boss, then I fucking stab him, and then after that we all get paid. You guys are out here in case this goes south and I need you to break me out."

Temari nodded, "Got it, so now we just wait for-." She was cut off by a body falling from the roof of the building. Both siblings looked down, uncaring at the obviously dead body, "Okay, you've got your crony." She said as Kankuro kicked him over and committed his features to memory before making a few hand-seals and turning his puppet into that person with a bundle containing him on its back, "Get in there."

Karasu, in Kankuro's stead, flipped her off and made his way around the front to enter just as Temari's phone went off, "Naruto? Why is he calling?" She answered and leaned against the building, "Hello?"

"_Temari? Hey, you specialize in wind attacks don't you?"_

"Yeah?" She said curiously, "Why do you want to know?"

"_Because I just found my element around a week ago, and it's wind. Listen, how do I use it? I'm supposed to be doing some weird crap like splitting a leaf with my chakra and I don't know how."_

Temari snorted in amusement and let out a small laugh, "A leaf? I had to learn by splitting a rock you pansy." Hearing Naruto growl at her over the line she stopped laughing, "Okay, how do I put this? Think of your chakra as two different sides, then try to make the two sides as thin and as sharp you can and grind them together as if you were trying to cut something."

"_I… think I've got it. Okay, thanks Temari. You guys should come up to Konoha sometime and hang out. No hotel needed, I'm going to be moving soon enough and I'll have room for guests."_

Temari smiled and shut her eyes, "That sounds like a good vacation actually. We can talk about it later, I'm busy at the moment."

"_I am too. Alright Temari, I'll talk to you later."_

"Did you hear that? I think it came from back here." A voice called out from the mouth of the alley.

"Shit." Temari said, "Alright bye Naruto. I need to get myself out of some trouble really quick."

"_Show 'em some skin bab-."_

Temari closed her phone with a tick mark on her head before he could finish that statement, "Idiot…" She mumbled, taking off her fan and hiding it before putting on a seductive look, "Oh hello!" She said sweetly, "Did you just come from inside of here? Could I trouble you to stay inside while I wait for a ride? I'd be _very_ grateful to you handsome." She purred to him.

The man she had spoken to put on a lusty smirk as he came forward, "Well come on then cutie. I'm sure I can keep you entertained until your ride comes along. Hey, what the-?" He said as he found himself covered in sand and lifted off of the ground.

Gaara appeared in a swirl of sand in front of Temari, "Do you want me to kill this man sister?"

Temari thought about it for a moment, "No Gaara, we're supposed to be weaning you off of killing people for no good reason. Just knock him out if you would." Temari sweatdropped when Gaara used his sand to repeatedly slam the man into the ground and drop him in a nearby dumpster, "Okay, it's a start…" She said as she retrieved her fan, "Let's go wait for Kankuro to finish or screw up and we can get you something to eat."

Gaara nodded, "That would be nice sister." He said in his usual monotone, getting a smile out of her, "Who were you talking to?"

Temari strapped her fan to her back, "Oh, that was Naruto." She noticed Gaara's eye twitch slightly and frowned, "Are you still scared of him? Naruto isn't going to hurt you again after he already beat you Gaara. He's actually really nice." She decided to tease him a bit, "We might even be going to see him really soon." She laughed when Gaara vanished in a swirl of sand suddenly, "Gaara come back! I'm just messing with you silly!"

XxX

(With Naruto)

Sasuke watched Naruto standing up and focusing on a leaf in his hand, "Why aren't you using your clones? You say they learn what you learn, so if one of them gets it you can just dispel it and figure it out from that one."

Naruto kept focusing intently on sharpening his chakra, "Because we're in public stupid. I can't just make a shit-ton of clones holding enough leaves to fill a tree and just leave it at that. I'm supposed to be keeping a low-profile outside of battle or private areas. Until this mission is done I'm stuck with strictly myself." Naruto saw Konohamaru and two other kids walking over to him. One was a little girl with orange hair tied into very large pigtails, she seemed to have a permanent blush on her face from the looks of things. The other was a sleepy looking kid with glasses and brown hair that seemed to have a snot drip coming from his nose, "What's going on Konohamaru? And who are these kids?"

Konohamaru looked up at Naruto, "These guys are Moegi and Udon. What are you doing though? You've been staring at that leaf for a while now."

Naruto looked at the leaf in his hand and back to the kids with a grin, "Oh, well I'm trying to train my wind chakra manipulation. I have to cut a leaf with my chakra."

At that, Konohamaru grinned, "See he is a mercenary, just like I told you he was. Just like how grandpa and Uncle Asuma used to be! Does that mean you can do cool stuff like fly?"

Naruto snorted, "I wish I could fly… but I can do some cool stuff like make copies of myself, make fire in my hands, and cut stuff up with a special kind of chakra." He pointed at Sasuke who was still doing his own thing on his laptop, "That guy can shoot fireballs at people and do tons of other stuff though."

Udon looked over at Sasuke in awe, "Wow… Sasuke Uchiha. I've heard of him, he's supposed to be a genius police officer. He's a hero, he just saved a train full of people."

Naruto wanted to say that he was there too, but he kept his name and face off of the news for a reason, he had enough attention on him, that and watching that kid gush over Sasuke was too funny to try and circumvent. Konohamaru was still focused on him, "That's so cool! Can you teach me how to fight?" He asked, "Grandpa only showed me a little bit, like how to defend myself. He says I'm too young to know anything else, but that's not fair, I'm 10!"

Well at the age of 10 Naruto was getting into fights with people all the time so he had to know what he was doing or he would have eaten a lot more pavement and gravel than he already had, but Konohamaru didn't have that problem, "Well he might be right. Besides, there's nothing I can teach you anyway." Because everything Naruto knew either was meant to kill people, couldn't be taught to normal people, or couldn't be taught period, "I'm not the kind of guy that's meant to train anyone."

Konohamaru pouted at being turned down as Moegi tried consoling him. Udon however, had gone over to Sasuke to bug him, but he was only getting one word responses or grunts from Sasuke who was focusing on his laptop.

"Naruto-oniichan!" Naruto ended up getting drilled by a small black-haired blur that latched around his waist and almost tackled him to the ground, "What are you doing here?"

Naruto looked down to see the curious white-eyes of Hanabi, "Little Tsukime-chan? What are you doing here?"

Hanabi smiled and pointed towards the entrance of the park where Hinata and Neji were standing. Neji simply looked at him coolly, while Hinata smiled and waved as they made their way over, "Hinata-oneesama and Neji-niisan promised to take me to the park today. So why are you here?"

Naruto pointed at Konohamaru, "Me and Sasuke are watching that kid right now. He's the Hokage's grandson."

Hearing himself be labeled as the Hokage's grandson, Konohamaru stomped up to Naruto, "I have a name, it's Konohamaru!"

Naruto looked down at Konohamaru in confusion, "I know that, but you should introduce your own name to other people especially when you're standing right there."

Hanabi let go of her hug on Naruto and stood between him and Konohamaru, "Don't yell at Naruto-oniichan! He could beat you up with his eyes closed and both of his hands tied behind his back!"

Konohamaru growled at Hanabi and clinched his fists, "I could beat you up so it doesn't matter!"

Hanabi pulled her eyelid down and stuck her tongue out, "Boys aren't supposed to try and beat up girls, and you couldn't touch me anyway, I wouldn't be as nice and Naruto-oniichan would be either."

Konohamaru threw a punch that Naruto caught and used to lift him into the air, "What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be protecting _me_?"

Naruto nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I am. I saw you go through your katas earlier and Hanabi would have put you on your back looking up at the sun before you even knew what hit you." He looked over at Hanabi, "Tsukime-chan be good. Don't pick fights with people, that's not a very dignified thing to do."

Hanabi looked down bashfully, "But you aren't a dignified person Onii-chan."

Naruto chuckled and looked at Konohamaru, "She's right, I'm not. But then again, I'm not a noble, both of you are, so both of you behave." He set Konohamaru down and both of them looked away from each other, "Fine… you know the more responsible and grown up of the two of you would apologize to the other."

Both Hanabi and Konohamaru looked at each other and blurted out an apology, "I'm sorry!" They then glared at each other for taking the other's thunder.

Naruto grinned and patted them both on the head, "There you go. That was a grown up thing for both of you to do, now go get to know each other and if you both don't get along I'll string you both up by your britches in a tree, now go!"

Hanabi paled and nodded before grabbing Konohamaru and running off towards the playground equipment, "What's wrong?" Konohamaru asked her.

Hanabi looked back at Naruto who was grinning at both of them, "You just met him today so you don't know. He'd actually do it and I don't want to provoke him… Naruto-oniichan is a sociopath sometimes."

"Sociowhat?" Konohamaru asked.

Hanabi hissed a whisper at him, "He's crazy."

XxX

Hinata sat on the bench next to Sasuke, "So what are you both doing out here? Neither of you seem like the public park kind of people."

Naruto walked back over to them, "I'm here to work. Sasuke-teme's here because he has next to nothing going on, and I'm the only person outside of his family whose presence he can tolerate. My job is to watch the brat that Hanabi almost got into it with just now."

Neji frowned at the blonde teen, "It seems your influence is rubbing off on Hanabi-sama… thank goodness Hinata-sama is too old for your personality to rub off onto. Maybe I can still properly influence her myself."

"Nope." Naruto said gleefully, "Tsukime-chan knows I'm cooler than you. And I'm glad I got to her. If she was like you she'd be all stuck up and bitchy… I like her like she is, she's a sweetheart." Naruto motioned to Hinata, "Almost as sweet as the Princess here, and I've rubbed off on her too, she's too devious for her own good."

Hinata smiled at him sweetly, "I don't know what you're talking about Naruto-kun."

"Of course you don't Princess." Naruto said sarcastically, "Anyway, I'm here with Konohamaru until I get the call to drop him off. I have no idea how long that will take though."

Sasuke sighed and closed his laptop, "You know on second thought coming with you today was a bad idea dobe. I've had people try to kill me, got Itachi pissed off at me, and now I'm babysitting. When you say protection missions I should know that you really mean babysitting."

Hinata giggled, "You never know Sasuke-kun. I was kidnapped on Naruto-kun's first escort mission. And from what the news is saying you've had enough excitement today."

Rubbing his ribs, Sasuke put a thoughtful look on his face, "Maybe. This is still boring though."

Hinata looked over at the playground where Hanabi was starting to get along with the others, "Well Hanabi-chan never really gets a chance to spend any time with others her age except for other kids from our clan, and that's not really the same."

"I really fail to see how that is a bad thing Hinata-sama." Neji commented glibly, "Especially when the alternative thus far has been Uzumaki. You might as well be trying to make Hanabi-sama find a role-model in a prison inmate."

Hinata glared at Neji, "Neji-niisan. Do not assume a superior attitude against someone like Naruto-kun. He's a wonderful person, and he has a higher sense of morals than many of the other nobles our clan seems to have no problem associating ourselves with."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Neji, "I'll show you a real prison inmate and you can see for sure whether or not that asinine comment was appropriate. Whenever I see you all you ever do is run your mouth about Naruto. I'm seriously getting very sick of hearing you yap."

Naruto grinned, "Aww deputy."

Sasuke scoffed, "If anyone here gets to talk shit about the idiot on a regular basis it's going to be me." Naruto face-faulted as Sasuke stood up from the bench, "If anything you should be treating him like your best friend after what we did. But maybe you're still just sore about how we knocked you out with one punch and duct-taped you to a chair."

Hearing Sasuke talk to him like that kind of struck a chord with the normally stoic Hyuuga, "Believe me. If you two had not surprised me with the cowardly attack you wouldn't have gotten lucky enough to knock me unconscious."

Hinata was getting anxious with the tension flying between everyone else and tried diffusing it, "There's no reason for everyone to be so irate. Please, just calm down."

Naruto stood behind her as she stayed seated on the bench, "Princess is right. Deputy, calm down, it's no big deal. Neji, you're being a douche, tone it down already. Or are you really going to fight in front of the kids?" Naruto asked, pointing to where Hanabi, Konohamaru and the others all were, staring at the older teens intently, "If you have a problem with me we can talk about it, but taking shots at me isn't going to serve anyone any good."

Neji looked over at Naruto before nodding sternly, "Fine. Not here though. Follow me."

Usually, Naruto would have made a lewd joke of some kind that would have pissed someone off, but right now wasn't the time for it, "Sasuke can you watch the kids and keep Princess company until we get back?" Getting a sharp nod from Sasuke, Naruto began to follow Neji off into the forest area of the park.

Hinata had a worried look on her face as they walked away, "Do you think they're going to fight?" She asked Sasuke.

"I couldn't tell you." Sasuke said honestly in reply, "Neji doesn't seem like he has a hair-trigger, but Naruto does. If his tongue is sharper than the dobe's then there's a good chance of it. I don't think Naruto's really that willing to get into two fights in one day though."

Konohamaru, his friends, and Hanabi ran over to Sasuke and Hinata, "Where did Naruto and that other guy go?"

Hanabi looked at her sister hopefully, "Naruto-oniichan and Neji-niisan aren't going to fight each other are they?"

Putting on a reassuring smile, Hinata tried to comfort her little sister, "Of course they aren't Hanabi-chan. Neji-niisan and Naruto-kun are just going to talk for a moment. It's none of our business so they went a little ways away to keep anyone else from hearing."

"Aww…" Konohamaru said in a dejected manner, "I wanted to see the mercenary guy fight. I've never seen a real battle before. It would have been cool."

Sasuke shook his head and crossed his arms, "Kid you need to be in an actual fight and then you might change that attitude a bit. But yeah, it would have been cool." Sasuke's phone then rang with a call from an unidentified number, "Hello?"

"_Sasuke Uchiha?"_

"Obviously." Sasuke responded, getting everyone's attention to the fact that he was on the phone, "Now what do you want? I don't know you, and I can't understand how you would possibly have this number if you didn't." The voice on the other line laughed.

"_Hey don't worry about it. The best players never reveal their strategy while the game is still on. You and your buddy beat Sakon and Ukon, that's impressive. It won't help beat the rest of us but it's still impressive."_

Sasuke's face was frozen in a serious structure, "So what do you want before I hang up? Because you're really bad at this whole leaving deadly threats thing." Hinata gasped at hearing that.

"Deadly threats?" She said, "What are you talking about? Are you in trouble Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke gave her a comforting look and a half-smile before the person on the other line spoke up again.

"_No, we're not here to kill you. We need you alive. Orochimaru-sama can give you much more than you can obtain in your current position… think about it. Do you really want to waste your time chasing a shadow? You can't catch a shadow can you?"_

"No you can't." Sasuke agreed, "But you can extinguish one. The last guy said the same thing you said, and now you're going to try and threaten me or something, but let me tell you something, you can come and try it. Try it, and if I don't kill you Naruto will, if Naruto doesn't Itachi will. I don't want to hear what you have to say. If you're smart you'll stay away, but if you're feeling masochistic then bring it on. I'm not hard to find, I promise." He said in a seething tone, his Sharingan flaring unconsciously, scaring the kids except Hanabi who knew people in her family to do the same thing when they were visibly upset.

There was silence on the other line until the voice chuckled again, _"You know what. I think I will try that. By the way, my name's Kidomaru… just so you have a name to place me with when I drag you and drop you at Orochimaru's feet."_

Sasuke's lips quirked into a sneer, "I'm looking forward to it. And you can tell Orochimaru that if he really wants me that badly he needs to show up himself, because his cronies just aren't getting the job done."

"_I'm looking forward to it Uchiha. It should be a fun little game. I hope you're a high enough level to give me a challenge." _ With that being said by Kidomaru, Sasuke hung up his phone and took a deep breath as he leaned back in the bench.

Hinata put a hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright Sasuke-kun? That sounded serious."

Sasuke looked over at her and turned his Sharingan back off, "Yeah, everything's fine. Just a little harassment… it comes with the territory. Nothing to worry about."

* * *

Character Profile 11

Name: Kiba Inuzuka

Nickname: Dog Boy, Inu-teme (by Naruto)

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'7/169 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Wild appearance, red fang markings on cheeks, fast movement, enhanced hearing and smell, sharp claws and beast-like abilities in combat, synchronized attacks with his dog Akamaru, short temper, very loyal personality.

Likes: Akamaru, beef jerky, rap, dog related things, causing trouble and mayhem, fighting strong opponents, sleep, doing things with Akamaru.

Dislikes: Places he can't take Akamaru, things that aren't chewy, cats, nasty smells, techno or electric music

Theme Song: "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin

Notes: Kiba is a freshman in the same year as Naruto that attends his school. Despite starting out as enemies (in a rather one-sided rivalry) he quickly becomes good friends with Naruto despite the fact that the two still verbally snipe at one another on a consistent basis. Kiba's family are world-class veterinarians and zoologists and through years of close ties to animals have developed uses for chakra that circulate around enhancing their physical attributes for self-defense. Kiba is a capable fighter on the level of many mercenaries and has an inherent toughness borne from his family's basic rough attitude and developed through repeated fights with Naruto and others throughout his academic career. Like much of his family, Kiba has something of a symbiotic relationship with his best friend, a dog named Akamaru. He is very talkative when it comes to matters concerning the dog and is extremely defensive of his pet, verbally or physically responding to any slights to Akamaru in earshot.

Quote: "It is a damn shame that the only man I trust in the entire world is a dog."

"Behind every good man is a good woman… and behind every good woman there's another man looking at her butt."

"You may be an honor student, but I'm the guy that sold your ass the answers to the tests, so honor _me_!"

"My family is mean dude, no joke. I swear, until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'shutup'."

"I don't have time to grace you with all of my hot buttered life-knowledge so here are a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate. There's no such thing as a permanent record. Always eat breakfast. All the girls on the internet are actually dudes. And you should never, ever, buy the extended warranty on anything. EVER. Also, chicks like it when you tell them they're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to them, so mix it up a little."

Character Profile 12

Name: Shikamaru Nara

Nickname: Lazy-ass, Lazy bastard.

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'8/150 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Very high intelligence, extremely lazy, strong moral justice, ability to quickly construct multiple ready-made strategies in moments, use of shadow related techniques, high level of teamwork with Chouji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka.

Likes: Mackerel, playing shogi, sleeping, doing nothing, looking at clouds, avoiding trouble, peace and quiet alternative rock, anything on TV as long as he doesn't have to change the channel.

Dislikes: Fighting, loud and angry women, eggs, responsibility, any kind of work, being woken up, fighting women,

Theme Song: "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band

Notes: Shikamaru is a notoriously lazy freshman in the same year as Naruto. His IQ was revealed to be over 200 in middle school, however his slacking attitude led to him being dropped from the gifted classes due to them being too 'troublesome'. He believes in doing the bare minimum to succeed and exerting the least amount of effort to accomplish anything and everything. He is best friends with Chouji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka due to the relationship their families share (Shikamaru's family provide many ingredients for potent medicines that are distributed by the Yamanaka shipping magnate), and as such their families have developed many group combinations in combat to go with the special abilities of each. Shikamaru is not much for fighting and does not have much practical experience, but when pressed to do so will handily defeat his opponents with planned out strategies to go in conjuncture with his shadow manipulation skills.

Quote: "Contrary to what you think, doing nothing is actually really hard to do. You never know when you're finished."

"Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years."

"Could you put that in a memo and entitle it 'Shit I already know'?"

"Troublesome…"

"Do you have any idea how much caffeine and anti-depressants it takes for me to get to school on time in the morning?"

"I'm certain that all of life's problems can be solved by simply sleeping through them. I mean, eventually someone _has_ to do something right? Who says it has to be you?"

* * *

**Chapter up, nothing to say, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, drop your boy a line.**

**Kenchi out.  
**


	36. The Sounds of Battle

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. *Teardrop… Sniff* Don't look at me!

**Chapter 36: The Sounds of Battle**

* * *

Naruto and Neji walked away from Sasuke, Hinata and the children so that they could have their conversation. Eventually amid the trees and far out of sight and hearing, Naruto leaned against one of the trees with his arms crossed and a frown on his face, "So Neji… are you going to tell me what your big problem with me is? Or are you just going to use your private school words and try to get me upset?"

Neji stood ten feet away from Naruto, "My problem? My problem isn't very complicated Uzumaki, it's you. I don't like you." He narrowed his eyes at the blonde mercenary, "I don't like Hinata-sama consorting with a criminal. You're someone below our station, and yet you treat her so familiarly. I will not allow you to besmirch the name of our clan by tainting Hinata-sama's standing with your association with her."

Naruto's frown grew further, "That's not your choice."

Neji scoffed, "It isn't a matter of choice. It is my job, my single most important mission in life to keep Hinata-sama protected from enemies that mean to do her physical harm, or harm our clan through her."

"Again…" Naruto said, feeling his ire rise at hearing Neji speak, "It isn't your choice. You're saying that I can't hang out with Princess because of who I am. That's basically saying that I'm just some punk kid that doesn't have anything. That will actually have to work to make a living unlike your family. I'd like to think I'm more important than you actually. You're just some rich kid that never did anything for anyone. I actually help people, I'm not a dick like you are. If I died tomorrow not many would care, but the ones who did would love me and remember me for being a decent person, and what about you?"

"What about me?" Neji asked, rather perturbed by Naruto's tone and topic.

Naruto heard the growing anger in his voice and figured he was starting to win this little battle of words, "I'm just saying, what have you ever done besides sit in that cushy mansion of yours and spend up that money that you never did anything to earn? I work, and no, it might not be glamorous but I love my job, and I like who I am. And unlike you I'm going to earn my riches, as a matter of fact I already am." Naruto pulled out his wallet that was full of bills and flipped through it before pocketing it, "Now stick that in your trust fund. You don't like me, that's fine because I don't _respect_ you."

Neji grit his teeth and moved into his Jyuuken stance, "You don't respect me? You will after we're done here."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "So other than the one time I did it, have you even been punched in the face?"

"Why does that matter?" Neji asked impatiently. His answer was a fast right hand that he barely saw coming hitting him right in the nose and sending him stumbling back, tears of shock filling his eyes.

"That's why it matters." Naruto said, cracking his knuckles, "You can't make me do anything, and even if you win that's not going to make me respect you because you still didn't do anything to get it." He then formed a cross seal with his fingers, "But you're not going to win. Check out my bread-and-butter jutsu, Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

The area filled with dozens of Naruto clones that were all smirking at Neji who wiped the blood from his nose and activated his Byakugan, "Do not assume that I'm weak Uzumaki. I'm stronger than Hinata-sama, I'm the most skilled of my generation at the Hyuuga style taijutsu."

Naruto chuckled, "And that just makes you a dojo hero. But how much can you possibly know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" Naruto made a hand gesture as his clones moved in to attack Neji, "Say the word when you've had enough."

XxX

Hanabi gasped as the little girl had her Byakugan on and could see Naruto and Neji fighting, but knew well enough to not say anything about what she could see. Sasuke figured what she had gasped about and sighed, "Oh hell… Hinata we need to get these kids away from here while Naruto and Neji duke it out. They don't need to see them fight."

Hinata nodded, having activated her doujutsu and seen the two begin to fight as well, "It's starting to get cloudy too. I don't think we should be outside for too much longer or the children will get caught in the rain." Sasuke looked at her oddly, prompting her to pout, "Well as long as Neji-niisan and Naruto-kun are fighting Hanabi-chan and I can't simply leave, and as long as I'm here I'm responsible for these children."

Sasuke held his hands up defensively, "Okay, okay. No need to get upset, I understand. So where to?"

Hinata's smile came back and she pointed at a series of gazebos nearby in the distance, "Over there should be just fine in case it begins to rain. I would rather not get drenched, you understand."

Sasuke smirked and stood up, offering a hand to help Hinata stand, "I guess so. Naruto and Neji are going to look like drenched rats by the time they get back. I can't wait to see that."

She looked in the direction she knew that her relative and her first friend outside of her family were fighting, "Do you think they'll be okay Sasuke-kun? I don't want them to hurt each other."

Sasuke nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, they'll be fine. At least Naruto will be, I don't know about Neji. Can he take a punch to the face?"

Hinata stopped moving after Sasuke helped her to her feet as she thought about his question, "I don't know. When we spar as one entire clan we never focus on things like that, mostly just speed and making contact. A mere touch can injure our opponent if not kill them outright. That's why I'm worried."

"Why?" Sasuke wondered, "You use Naruto as a training dummy on a regular basis. He had to have built up a natural immunity to taking too much damage by now."

Hinata shook her head, "You can't train your internal organs Sasuke-kun. And I've never hit Naruto-kun anywhere like that on purpose. I am afraid that Neji-niisan won't share my restraint."

Sasuke nodded, "Well if we step in we'll just prolong this and make it worse. We might as well let it happen now and be done with it. It's going to be fine. I'm sure of it." He pointed to the side, "Right now you might want to watch your sister though."

Hinata looked over and gasped at Hanabi who was standing over a beaten down Konohamaru being surrounded by his friends, "Hanabi-chan what have I told you about fighting?"

Hanabi looked over at her sister owlishly and answered, "Um… don't? B-But he was coming right for me!" She took note of the stern look on Hinata's face, "Aw… Naruto-oniichan told me that would work when defending myself about fighting…" She ambled over to Hinata and Sasuke in a dejected manner.

Sasuke shook his head and looked at all of the kids, "You all are coming too. Naruto would destroy me and everything I held dear if I let one of you get hurt while he was gone."

Konohamaru seemingly made a miraculous recovery and jumped to his feet pointing at Hanabi, "I feel fine now! I want a rematch!"

Hanabi turned back to him and smirked, "No. The only reason you feel good is because I unsealed your tenketsu so that you could get up. I can just put your right back on the ground again if I had to." She was pulled by her wrist and given a chiding look from Hinata instructing her to behave, "Hinata-oneesama!"

"Just let them go at it." Sasuke said, a small smile finding its way to his face, "If they're anything like me and Naruto then them fighting will make them friends. They'll be fine. We're right here so we can stop it if we have to. Besides, I like watching the brat Naruto is supposed to be watching get beat up by a girl." Hanabi smiled at Sasuke once she heard that.

Hinata sighed and let go of her little sister, "Do not go overboard. You know what you're not allowed to do." Hanabi nodded eagerly and ran off to go play (see: fight) with Konohamaru again.

XxX

Naruto sat back and watched Neji battle against his clones. He had to admit, after taking the first punch Neji got himself into gear quickly and started disposing of Naruto's clones who swarmed at him in an attempt to beat him down. Neji hadn't even been touched since Naruto first cracked him in the face, and Neji seemed to simply flow around his attacking force and get rid of the clones with mere taps of his fingertips.

Naruto of course knew that this was the hallmark of the Hyuuga Clan style of combat, having had his tenketsu sealed and unsealed repeatedly ever since he had met and befriended Hinata and Hanabi. He also knew that simply getting hit with even one of those shots would suck, thus he really wasn't looking forward to Neji exterminating the last of his Kage Bunshin hoard, which occurred mere seconds later.

Neji stood up out of his stance breathing slightly hard, "Is that all you've got peasant? I'm trained to handle brute force of barbarians like you."

"Maybe." Naruto conceded, "But the thing is, I'm not going to disappear after just one hit like the clones did." Naruto dropped into his own ready stance, "Let's see how you handle me." Naruto ran forward and activated his defensive jutsu, Kitsune no Hifu Koka (Fox Skin Hardening) to assist him in the close-up battle.

Naruto got close and swept low with a spinning front kick to the legs that Neji moved fleetly out of the way of. Naruto contorted his body into a rising spin kick that Neji once again dodged, and once he had regained his footing, Naruto launched four punches in succession that Neji blocked with his hands before dropping a finger strike to the back of one of Naruto's wrists and retaliating by striking the same arm repeatedly all the way to the elbow before Naruto managed to get away.

Naruto shook out the arm as he could no longer feel anything in it from the elbow down, "That's really good. You're definitely faster than Princess and more accurate." It didn't matter to Naruto. If he could drag the fight on long enough his arm would heal itself. Hinata and Hanabi commented that he naturally healed his tenketsu faster than anyone else they had ever seen, ten times faster than anyone else.

"Hinata-sama is very talented, this is true, but I'm the best of my generation to take up the art of Jyuuken in years." Neji said, his Byakugan eyes glaring intently at Naruto, "You cannot win here."

"I'm not just going to let you beat me though." Naruto said determinedly, "I swore to someone precious to me that I would never lose again. I can't get beaten just two weeks after I made that promise."

Neji smirked, "It's your destiny to lose here, just as it was to exist in a lower station of life than me. Don't fight it."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Well I'm sorry if spending the rest of my life clawing my way out of the gutters doesn't really sound so appealing to me. Destiny or not, it doesn't matter. I'm in control of my own life." He made one hand-seal and formed more Kage Bunshin that assisted him in rushing Neji, however the Hyuuga wasn't concerned.

Naruto's clones had the same problem he had. Their right arms were useless, so he was essentially fighting three handicapped men at once. As he ducked a high kick from one Naruto he realized that they were very good at fighting without using their hands, but they were still handicapped. He dispelled one clone with a Jyuuken strike and dodged a left-handed punch from what would have been his blind spot if he hadn't been able to see in 360 degrees.

Naruto wasn't missing a beat either as he slid under Neji and attempted a rising kick, a kick that Neji blocked before lashing out to the side with a kick that dispelled the second of Naruto's three clones. Neji then kicked the original Naruto who was still on the ground in the small of his back and attempted to finish him with a Jyuuken strike to the chest before Naruto's clone dove in and took the hit.

Taking advantage of his Kage Bunshin's sacrifice, Naruto fired a right hand through the smoke it created upon its destruction and caught Neji in the face again, sending him stumbling back and allowing the young mercenary to retake his feet. Naruto ran forward and threw a punch that Neji dodged with a head fake, however Naruto latched on to the back of his shoulder with that hand and forcefully pulled him into a knee directed at his body.

As Neji was doubled over from the knee, Naruto tried following through with a powerful downward elbow strike to the back of the head that Neji took in the upper back before hitting Naruto in the side with his palm, pushing Naruto away like he was burned. Neji stumbled to the side and Naruto dropped to one knee, coughing blood.

Neji was able to stop his head from swimming and smirked at the kneeling Naruto as he saw the blood that had come from him, "Whoops. I think I hit something important."

Naruto glared over at him, "Yeah… whoops. I'll be sure to say that when I finish breaking my foot off in your ass." He coughed up more blood after trying and failing to stand up, 'That might have actually beaten me if I wasn't so damn durable. I think he hit a kidney… oh well, it could be worse. And obviously Kitsune no Hifu Koka (Fox Skin Hardening) does jack shit against the Jyuuken. Good to know.'

Naruto finally found that he was able to make a fist again with his right hand and realized that his more widespread arsenal of ninjutsu were once again available to him… however no matter how hard his gut urged him to fight with no strategy in mind, just to punch Neji in the face repeatedly until he got an apology from him, his brain won out and told him to use some strategy.

"Your tenketsu in your hand have all reopened." Neji commented as his Byakugan was clearly able to see them, "You have a very impressive healing speed. That's good to know. It means I can stop holding back on you."

Naruto grinned at him with his elongated canines, "If you're going to stop holding back on me I'll stop holding back on you too." Naruto began to tap into his youki and took delight in seeing the somewhat stunned look on Neji's face.

"What is that strange chakra?" He asked. Neji had never seen anything like this in his life. Instead of the normal blue color he had been seeing, a purple color began circulating from Naruto's heart around his entire body. It seemed more solid and somewhat thicker in appearance to Neji, "How can you have two different chakras? What are you?"

Naruto's whisker marks grew darker and thicker and his canines grew larger. His eyes also grew slitted and his nails turned to claws, "I done told you once you son of a bitch! I'm the best there's ever been!"

Neji narrowed his eyes at the half-demon, not that he knew what he was looking at, and set himself back in his stance, "We'll see about that." The sound of a sudden summer thunderstorm beginning sounded out as the two had themselves a standoff once more. The second the rain began pouring, they ran at each other intent on clashing once more in a hand-to-hand struggle when a large dome of earth emerged and surrounded them both, trapping them inside.

Naruto said it best for both himself and his aristocratic companion at the moment, "What in the hell?"

XxX

(With Sasuke)

"Man…" Sasuke said as he, Hinata, and the kids sat inside of the gazebo as the rain started pouring down, "Where the hell are Naruto and Neji? I expected them to just beat each other up a bit and come right back here."

Hinata sighed as her little sister sat on her lap watching the rain as well, "Do you think something is wrong? They're out of my range with the Byakugan. I can only see up to 50 meters." She said regretfully, "Neji-niisan's is stronger than mine. He's actually stronger than me with his taijutsu as well, even with all of Naruto-kun's help."

Sasuke shook his head, "I'm sure it's nothing. Naruto's not stupid enough to do anything that would really hurt Neji and I'm sure he isn't either. They'll just rough each other up a bit."

"If you say so Sasuke-kun…" Hinata said as she looked back out at the inclement weather with a frown, "The weather forecast said that there was a low chance of rain today. It was supposed to be perfect to bring Hanabi-chan to the park today and now it's all ruined."

"No it wasn't Hinata-oneesama." Hanabi argued from where the nine year old was still sitting on her older sister's lap, "Today was actually fun. I saw Naruto-oniichan while he was at work and I even made a friend." She pointed over to where Konohamaru was laying on his stomach watching the rain fall outside with his two other companions.

A smile pulled at Hinata's lips as she looked down at her younger sibling, "Well in that case I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Hanabi-chan."

Sasuke watched the two siblings have their moment, 'Huh, you know maybe if Itachi was my sister instead of brother we would have a more mellow relationship?' He frowned and squashed that thought, 'No… then I would just feel worse about getting beaten up on a regular basis because Itachi would be a girl.' His phone then rang, "Hello, Sasuke Uchiha speaking." He answered without checking the caller ID.

"_It's me again Uchiha. I think it's time for our game. It seems perfect. With this storm no one in their right mind would be in the park right now. You're all alone… minus that hottie and those kids of course, but I can take care of them."_

Sasuke unconsciously activated his Sharingan out of anger, "You lay a single hand on one of them and I'll burn you alive. Whatever it is that you want is between you and me. Leave others out of it." He spoke lowly so as not to be heard by the others and dangerously so that the assailant got the point.

From the other line, Kidomaru laughed at Sasuke rage, _"You're not really in a position to be telling me what to do. It's just like a trash character like you to think you can help those people, but you know what? I'm feeling generous. Why don't you step out from that gazebo there so I don't hit them by… 'mistake'? Yeah, by mistake."_

Sasuke hung up the phone and looked around. The entire area surrounding the place they found with gazebos had trees covering it. It was a veritable mini-forest of sorts. Plenty of places for the guy to hide and ambush him from, and he could obviously see where he and the others were based on the call he just received. Clearly he wasn't planning on asking him to just surrender like Sakon had before this. That was good because Sasuke wasn't just going to roll over and allow himself to be captured by a criminal's underling.

"Hinata." He said, getting the girl's attention, "Could you stay here for a moment with the kids. Like, right here. Don't even leave the cover of the gazebo."

She looked at him oddly, "Why not? I mean, it's raining, but I didn't plan on getting up anyway. Are you going somewhere?"

"Kind of." He said, stretching out his inactive muscles for what was obviously going to be a fight, "Just promise me that no matter what you won't do anything." He looked back at her with his Sharingan active, "Please." He didn't wait for an answer as he walked out into the rain to the confusion of everyone watching him.

Sasuke didn't mind the rain hitting him as he looked around, his eyes ready to take notice of any subtle movement that would let him know where his attacker was coming from. His cellphone rang again and he answered it, "What?"

"_No, no… you're going to have to come a little further out if you don't want me to hurt your pretty friend and the brats."_ Kidomaru informed him, _"The forest about 800 meters out should be more than good enough for us to conduct our little game. That should be far enough where no one will get in the way."_

Sasuke quickly hung up on him and kept walking forward until he began passing trees, 'Come on now… He can't sneak up on me. I can see everything with these eyes. Some idiot trying to ambush me should be easy to deal with.'

Three rough, golden, bladed weapons flew through the rainy forest that Sasuke saw coming a mile away and missed when he leapt up onto the side of a tree, sticking with chakra as his eyes scanned the area the weapons came from. He climbed to a higher area of the tree and began moving along the branches, 'He's obviously up here somewhere. No kind of marksman would try to stay on the ground and take me out, there's too much stuff in the way.'

Sasuke, while jumping from one branch to another was attacked by a wave of white webbing that came from the trees to the side of his person. With the Sharingan he was able to predict the trajectory of the attack and prepare his next move for when he landed, which was to stay on the branch and contort his body through the openings the attack provided.

"Aw man. Of course you're going to be using those hacker eyes of yours aren't you?"

Sasuke identified the voice as Kidomaru, "I'll give you the same option I gave Sakon when I fought him. Tell me what you know of Orochimaru now and leave us alone. You'll live longer that way."

Kidomaru laughed from his concealed location as his voice echoed about, "I'm not like Sakon or Ukon. I'm not willing to just die off so early in the game, I'm no idiot stage boss."

"I don't know what that means." Sasuke said as he kept himself ready to dodge again, "But I don't really care. You can speak anyway you want, but getting your face kicked in sounds the same in any language" Sasuke however, was thinking of how he was going to flush Kidomaru out, 'I could just be a dick about it and set the woods on fire, but I'm supposed to protect the city, not destroy it because it's convenient… besides, Director Tenzo would be pissed off if I burned down park trees.'

Another set of web nets flew at Sasuke who quickly made hand-seals, "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)!" Sasuke spat a series of small fireballs at the webs, destroying them in mid flight. After firing the fireballs and hitting the webs, a blur appeared underneath Sasuke.

"Kumo Nento (Spider Sticking Spit)!" A web shot from the figure and grabbed Sasuke by the front of his arms when he tried to block it. The web was incredibly strong and dragged Sasuke from his higher branch, pulling him into the trunk of a tree and dropping him to the ground, "It was a feint you fool! What does Orochimaru-sama see in you?"

"The same thing you're going to see." Sasuke said as he pulled himself back to his feet, "I'm not going to chase you anymore. I can dodge your attacks all day, so all I have to do is wait for Naruto to show up and we'll start tearing you apart."

Kidomaru's laughter rang out once more, "You mean that blonde kid that killed Ukon? Yeah, he's not going to be showing up." He taunted, confusing Sasuke, "He and that other guy with him are going to be a little indisposed."

XxX

(With Naruto)

Naruto was tired of pounding on the side of the dome he and Neji were trapped in and he took to sitting down in the center of it, bored out of his mind, "This is so fucking boring. What the hell is this?"

Neji was slightly sweating, "We need to get out of here Uzumaki. This thing is draining our chakra." Neji could see the walls of the dome absorbing their energy, although Naruto still seemed to be teeming with the stuff, and his chakra color was back to normal blue.

"Oh really?" Naruto said with a twitching eyebrow, "Allow me to demonstrate just how that's worked out so far." Naruto stood up and drew his hand back, "Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" Naruto launched one of the wicked ranged gouging attacks at the wall and sliced off a significant portion of rock before it immediately repaired itself, "The only thing I have with enough knockout power to break this is Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion), and my clones dispel before they can finish channeling the chakra to take this dome out."

"What a great meal you pieces of trash are turning out to be!" A burly voice called from outside the dome, "I expected to finish you two off in a matter of minutes, yet you're still hanging in there!"

Neji raised an eyebrow, "He's taking our chakra into himself?" He activated his Byakugan and looked at the man standing outside with his hands on the dome, "He is."

Naruto blinked and then smirked cruelly, "So all of our chakra is going right into him is it?" Neji nodded, "Good to know." Naruto started channeling tons of unnecessary youki into the atmosphere to the point that Neji had to deactivate his Byakugan to avoid being blinded.

"What are you doing?" Neji asked him, rubbing his eyes to get the optimal level of sight back into them, "You're wasting more chakra this way. He'll suck you dry in seconds at this rate.

Naruto shook his head as he could begin to feel the pull of flaring his youki, "No, this chakra of mine is very, very poisonous to regular people in huge helpings." Naruto turned off all of the power he had been generating, "Now check and see."

Neji turned his Byakugan back on and saw outside of the dome to see that there was no more drain on their chakra, also that their enemy that had attacked them was on his hands and knees vomiting on the ground, "Now's our chance. Can you get us out? The back was structurally supposed to be the weakest point." He said while pointing in the appropriate direction.

"On it." Naruto said as a Kage Bunshin formed and rushed towards the back of the dome while the original Naruto made a single half-tiger hand-seal, "You rule Itachi… Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion)! Boom!"

The explosion crumbled the foundation of that side of the dome enough for Naruto to use his body as a battering ram and push his way through, with Neji quick to follow. Naruto picked himself up off of the ground and dusted himself off as he and Neji were able to get a look at the person who had interrupted their little spat.

He was a rather large man, bigger than them both, but looked around their age. He had an orange Mohawk haircut, a sleeveless grey shirt, and camouflage pants with brown boots. He also had that strange purple rope belt around his waist that Sakon had, "What did you do to me?"

Naruto grinned, "Oh, did you not like the chef's special? I made it just for you. That extra hint of chakra poisoning I threw at you was a little something special from me to you. It would have felt a little more personal if I knew your name but it doesn't matter."

"My name is Jirobo you two pieces of trash." The large teen said as he wiped his mouth, "It doesn't matter because it's going to be the last name either of you ever hear."

Naruto and Neji looked at each other and back at Jirobo, "That's some very tough talk." Neji said to him, not very concerned as they had the numbers advantage and as far as he was concerned they had the skills advantage as well.

Jirobo smirked, "It may be tough, but if you two little cockroaches are all I have to worry about I'll have this wrapped up in five minutes." He made a snake hand-seal and smashed his palm against the ground, kicking up rocks and dust that obscured him from view and forced Naruto and Neji to cover their eyes, most important for Neji due to his eye-based kekkei. This allowed Jirobo to rush through the debris and smash Naruto in the belly with a knee that lifted him off of the ground and a palm strike that sent him sliding across the ground.

Neji saw Naruto take the hit and saw Jirobo switch his attention to him, too close for him to start dodging punches and kicks, thus he switched to his ace in the hole, "Hakkeshou Kaiten (Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin)!" Neji released a huge amount of chakra and spun rapidly, creating a shield of chakra that knocked Jirobo away forcefully.

Cursing that he let himself get hit so hard and checking to see if anything was broken, Naruto got up in time to see Neji's counter on Jirobo and found himself very grateful that Neji didn't try using that on him, because it would have pissed him off to get blocked like that. Naruto stood up and charged back towards Jirobo, passing Neji as he sprinted at the large teen as he started pulling himself back up and kneed him in the face sending him rolling backwards, holding his face where Naruto struck him.

Naruto turned back to Neji and pointed his thumb at Jirobo, "You see, that guy can take a hit. If I did that to you, you would be dreaming about your clan's mountains of money right now." Neji rolled his eyes before focusing on Jirobo as a strange chakra started coming from him.

"What exactly is happening to him?" Neji asked Naruto.

Naruto visibly frowned as he saw the black markings spreading across Jirobo's body, "Shit… This just got harder to do. We should really start fighting to kill right about now."

"Why?" Neji asked. He had never had to kill anyone before and he wasn't really looking forward to actually doing it to say the very least. Naruto simply pointed at Jirobo with a deadpan look on his face.

Jirobo had lifted up a massive chunk of earth and lifted it over his head. The size of the earthen ball was at least ten times the size of the man himself, "Doton: Doryou Dango (Earth Release: Earth Mausoleum Dumpling)!"

"Of course you named it that." Naruto said dryly just as Jirobo launched it at both him and Neji, "This is bullshit!" Naruto yelled as it began sliding across the ground towards them flattening everything in its path. Both Neji and Naruto were fleeing from the path of destruction, "Can't your spinning thing stop that?"

Neji wanted to just seal off the tenketsu in Naruto's legs right then and there for such a stupid comment, but he needed his help. Being stuck in Jirobo's chakra-sucking dome really drained him more than he let on. Too many uses of the Kaiten and he would find himself in dire straits, "Just keep running damn it."

Naruto smirked at hearing the noble curse, but chose not to tease him because he would need his help. The guy was a juggernaut. If he got close, Naruto couldn't brute force him. He probably couldn't even if he chose to activate his ascended form, because Jirobo would just go to level two of his weird seal thing and start overpowering him again. He needed Neji's finesse to give him some openings to launch attacks at their opponent, because as tough as he was, if he wound up getting squashed he wasn't going to get back up from that no matter what.

Naruto grabbed Neji's shoulder after they had escaped the jutsu, "I'm going to give you an opening. If I let you get close can you put him down?"

"What are you going to do?" Neji asked him. He could see Jirobo coming towards them in a straight line, not even trying to hide how he was advancing.

"Whatever I have to." Naruto said with a frown before slapping himself. He ran back towards Jirobo and jumped up on top of the chunk of earth that was hurled at him and Neji to finally get sight of Jirobo once more. Forming a blue fireball in both hands he jumped into the air and began bombarding the large enemy with repeated throws of the technique, "Kitsune-bi Danmaku (Fox Fire Barrage)!"

Jirobo glared at Naruto and punched the ground, raising a large wall to defend and take the fireballs in his place, "Doton: Doroku Gaeshi (Earth Release: Earth Shore Return)!" Two clones of Naruto ran around both sides of the wall as another jumped over the top of it to attack the large man who simply smirked, "So stupid! You can't beat me like this, just give up and I'll kill you quickly!" He gleefully dispelled Naruto's clones, hoping that the real one was among them.

"Really?" He heard a cool voice say from behind him, turning to see Neji standing in a strange stance, "Because I think the way we're fighting is working just fine. You are in range of my field of divination." He moved forward and began striking Jirobo, "Two palms! Four palms! Eight palms! Sixteen palms! Thirty-two palms! Sixty-four palms! Hakke Rokujuuyon Shou (Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms)!"

Neji finished his Jyuuken combination on Jirobo with a forceful palm strike to the chest that sent him flying back first into the wall he made as he slumped to the ground lifelessly. The real Naruto came around the wall and saw Jirobo unresponsive against the wall.

Neji smirked at Naruto, slightly shaken up by the kill, but the distinct lack of any kind of blood on him desensitized him to it somewhat, "And that's how you do that; quick, clean, and technical. You could take a lesson from it."

Naruto ran a hand through his hair as Neji deactivated his Byakugan, "Yeah, blah. Whatever." He pulled his goggles over his eyes to check Jirobo's vitals with the x-ray mode Tenten had installed, "Um, Neji. He's not-."

Naruto was cut off when both he and Neji were grabbed by the throat by a revived Jirobo who had murder in his eyes. His appearance began to change to one with red skin, a mane going down his back, and warts on his forehead and shoulders, "You two are very, very annoying. It's time this came to an end." He said to the two teens he was choking in his grasp.

XxX

(With Sasuke)

Sasuke grit his teeth in anger. He had finally gotten a good look at his attacker while he had been dodging and discovered him to be a rather tan boy his age with spiky black hair put in a ponytail. He wore a dark green t-shirt and blue shorts with a black jacket tied around his waist to go with a purple rope belt that all of the people being sent after him seemed to have. However the most glaring trait about this person was the fact that he had four extra arms.

Arms that he used to pelt Sasuke with a myriad of weaponry that he seemed to form from stuff he chewed up in his mouth and manipulated into shapes. It's strange that he was able to chew it, because he threw a kunai at Sasuke that cut his cheek… that shit certainly didn't feel very chewable to him.

'I'm so sick of this.' Sasuke thought to himself, 'The next time I see that son of a bitch I'm taking him down. Just let him try to hide from me again.'

"Sasuke-kun! 35 degrees to your right!"

Sasuke didn't even bother wondering about the voice, he simply turned in the indicated direction and saw a series of gold colored boomerangs coming towards him that he had to dodge. After avoiding the attack he turned towards the origin of the warning voice and widened his eyes, "What in the hell are you doing here?" His eyes locked with Hinata's who blinked at him in confusion.

"Well…" She said sheepishly, "It looked like you needed help. Could you even see him?" Sasuke frowned at the fact that she pinpointed his trouble with the battle, "I can see him right now." She pointed in a direction and moved her finger as she noted Kidomaru moving to try and lose her, "He can't hide from me."

Sasuke palmed his face, "What about your sister and the kids?"

Hinata smiled, "I gave Hanabi-chan my phone and told her to call Otou-sama and Hizashi-ojisan. They should be here very soon for them." She looked back up into the trees with a serious face, "Until then I'm here to help you out."

Sasuke sighed and kept his eyes peeled around the general area, "Fine. Tell me where he is so I can go find him and kick his ass. I'm sick of standing out in the damn rain."

From his hiding place, Kidomaru sneered at Hinata entering the battle that he had firmly in his control up until this point, "Damn bitch… a support character. How cheap." He made more weapons to deal with Sasuke and the new arrival, however when he lifted his head to look for them again he couldn't see Sasuke, "Where did he go?"

"Right here!" From behind, Sasuke kicked him out from the elevated branches and followed him out, seemingly behind him as they flew through the air like a shadow, "I may have copied this part from someone but it's all original from here on out." Sasuke attempted a kick to one of Kidomaru's sides that he blocked, however Sasuke floated over to his other side and kicked him there, following through with a spinning backfist and as they hit the ground he finished with a spinning heel drop to the body, "Shishi Rendan (Lion's Barrage)!"

As Sasuke rolled away from Kidomaru he saw that a strange gold substance was covering his body. Made of the same material that the weapons he had been pelted with were made of, "What the-?"

Kidomaru's armor around his face cracked and he took aim at Sasuke, "Kumo Mayu (Spider Web Cocoon)!" He shot out spider thread from his mouth that caught Sasuke off-balance and began encasing him completely. After finishing the technique, he stood up with a smirk on his face, "A tough level for sure, but you were just out of your league Uchiha kid. We have more power than you."

"You're in my range!" Hinata appeared from behind Kidomaru and began striking at him with a fast Jyuuken combination, "Two palms! Four palms! Eight palms! Sixteen palms! Thirty-two palms! Hakke Sanjuuni Shou (Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms)!" Ignoring Kidomaru after knocking him away, she immediately rushed over to Sasuke and cut him free with her clan taijutsu before he could potentially suffocate.

Sasuke clawed himself free after the cocoon was cut open and he took a deep breath, "Thanks a lot. You can break this stuff? I thought I was going to have to risk setting myself on fire to get out."

Hinata nodded, "I can see the chakra flowing through the webbing making it so strong. I can disrupt it as well with my taijutsu so I can break it." She frowned once she realized that Kidomaru took to hiding again, "He left the area again. He's not far."

Sasuke got himself back up to his feet, "That's okay. With you we can find him again and the next time I see him he won't be getting away again. We need to put an end to this."

Kidomaru had taken refuge in the high branches of the rainy woods once more, his armor entirely chipped away after having used it to block Hinata's attack. He let his strange seal spread across his body, "Well I guess I've been playing for long enough." He bit his finger and made a set of hand-seals, "I hope you fools like this one! Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!"

In a puff of smoke in the branches high above Sasuke and Hinata, a large spider sat in a web. Hinata's eyes widened at the sudden appearance of the creature, "Sasuke-kun what on earth is that? It came from out of nowhere!"

Sasuke was in a defensive stance, ready for anything and everything, "It's a summoned creature. Some people have the ability to summon animals and things that they have blood contracts with. They help the summoners in battle… and I don't know what this one will do." His family had a hawk contract that he wasn't allowed to sign yet much to his chagrin.

A large egg sac began emerging from the back of the spider and one of Kidomaru's created blades cut it open, revealing a mass of spiders that dropped down on top of Sasuke and Hinata, with webbing out.

"Damn it!" Sasuke shouted. His goal was to capture him, well if Sasuke found himself ensnared in that webbing he wasn't going anywhere, this he knew already. He couldn't cut through it, he could burn it, but in large quantities like this eventually he would be pinned down. Hinata stepped in front of Sasuke in her Jyuuken stance, "What are you doing?"

Hinata locked onto all of the little spiders dropping around them, "Just stand still Sasuke-kun. Allow me to handle this please." Hinata began emitting a constant stream of chakra from her palms and began moving so fast her movements needed to be recorded by Sasuke's Sharingan to be seen, "Shugohakke Rokujuuyon Shou (Protection of the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms)!"

The spiders that came close to attack Hinata and Sasuke would up being cut to shreds by beams of chakra that formed a protective grid around herself and Sasuke. When the spiders were destroyed they would burst into webbing, but Hinata was able to cut through that as well, rendering the spider summons useless.

As Hinata dropped her protective jutsu, Sasuke jumped onto the side of a tree and ran up the trunk before jumping at the giant spider, "Suck it you ugly bastard! Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" Sasuke took a deep breath and launched a huge fireball at the spider that hit it dead on. It let out a pained cry and disappeared in a puff of smoke, "And that's how you solve a problem! With gratuitous violence, the way nature intended!"

Hinata looked out into the forest once again, "He's still out there Sasuke-kun. Why is this person after you anyway?"

Sasuke shrugged, "I'm apparently on the radar of a powerful criminal. This is the second guy to try something like this on me today. And if that was any indication of what's about to happen, things are about to get way worse."

A gasp came from Hinata as she was able to see Kidomaru from a distance, "His chakra. It's getting so much stronger… and darker. What is he?"

Sasuke sighed, "I totally knew it."

XxX

Kidomaru sat in the trees in his transformed state. His hair grew long and white, his skin turned dark red, he gained horns on his forehead and shoulders, and a third eye opened up on his forehead, "I can't believe these two trash characters made me go this far. Heh, it's kind of fun actually, but it's game over now." From his mouth he formed more of his special webbing and molded it into a large bow and arrow with multiple smaller webs about for added tension to the attack, "Kumo Senkyuu: Suzaku (Spider War Bow: Terrible Split)!" With his third eye he took aim at both Sasuke and Hinata from where they were, "Sorry, but the bitch with the eyes that can see me has to go. It's a shame though." He drew his arrow back as far as it could go, using all eight of his limbs to create extraordinary tension, "The weakest one in the game always goes down first!" He let fly with one of the arrows with crushing force.

XxX

The arrow came too fast for Hinata to be able to track, however Sasuke saw it as clear as day, that it had targeted her to finish her off. Still, the arrow was faster than him, and seeing it did little to no good since he wouldn't have been able to drag her out of the way in time, thus Sasuke did the only thing he could do in that scenario. He threw himself in front of the arrow. If he could at least spoil the plans of their attacker by dying instead of being captured while simultaneously keeping Hinata from being him, maybe something decent could come of this.

The arrow hit Sasuke hard enough to drill straight through his left shoulder and come out the other side, eliciting a loud shout of pain and anguish from the raven haired police trainee as he held his now useless left arm.

"Sasuke-kun!" Hinata shouted as he dropped to his knees holding his wound, "Why did you do that? He wasn't aiming at you!"

"So you saw that did you?" Sasuke grunted out through the pain of his injury, "Sorry, but it's kind of in my job description to protect you… civilian." He finished before letting out another shout.

XxX

Kidomaru broke out into a cold sweat the moment he saw the arrow hit Sasuke, until he realized that the target would survive with that wound, "Stupid hero-cop complex. If I had killed him with that one Orochimaru-sama would have skinned me alive." He formed another arrow and queued it up, "Block or dodge this one if you can." He pulled back his bow to prepare for another shot.

XxX

Hinata slung Sasuke's good arm over her shoulder and tried leaving the area, "We need to leave Sasuke-kun, you can't fight with that wound." She began walking with him, keeping the trees between herself and the spot she knew Kidomaru was shooting from, "You can't do anything if you got close, and I'm not fast enough to get close without getting hit myself."

"He's just going to chase us until he gets me." Sasuke tried to reason, his shoulder keeping him from being too forceful about it, "You can drop me and leave. I can beat this guy, I know I can."

"How?" Hinata snapped at him as they continued to move, "You have one good arm, what hand-seal could you possibly make like that? What jutsu could you use? How could you even get close without him picking you off?"

Sasuke grit his teeth to bite back the pain, "I'm not dead yet. And he won't kill me to win. He needs me alive."

Hinata gasped and dragged Sasuke behind a tree, "He's going to try and shoot again. We need cover."

Sasuke leaned against the tree at Hinata's behest and looked at his wound as they hid. There was a drilling hole going through, 'Son of a bitch.' He suddenly shoved Hinata hard out from behind the tree just an arrow burrowed through and hit him through his other shoulder. Sasuke gasped in pain as his other arm was rendered useless by Kidomaru's attack.

XxX

"Fuck!" Kidomaru cursed loudly at Sasuke saving Hinata again, "Fine, if that's the way you want to play it she won't dodge the next one no matter what!" Kidomaru formed another arrow, connected to his mouth by a strand of web, "I can't possibly miss with this shot." He pulled the arrow back in his bow, "Sweet dreams love. It's game over for you once and for all." He grinned darkly as he let fly his next arrow.

The projectile hurtled through the woods, turning and averting trees due to the string on the back of it guiding it around the foliage before it finally honed in on Hinata who was still on the ground from being shoved by Sasuke. However just as it would have hit her, Sasuke dove in the way, taking the attack right into the upper right side of his back. It didn't drill all the way through due to it losing momentum because of the guiding web, but it hit deep enough to finally cause Sasuke to collapse from his injuries.

"Such an idiot…" Kidomaru mumbled as he watched Hinata fret over Sasuke's wounds from his hidden position, "None of those shots were meant for him."

XxX

Hinata was immediately at Sasuke side as he hit the ground and was beside herself as he began to bleed profusely from all of his wounds, "This is all my fault! I'm too slow to be of any use to anyone in a fight like this!" She heard Sasuke mumble weakly, but she couldn't make out what it was that he had said, "What?"

Sasuke repeated himself slightly louder, "Can you find him again?" Hinata was confused by the question, "It's too late to run. He'll shoot you down before you can even see him." He explained weakly, "The only thing you can do at this point is stay by me. He won't kill me and if you keep me in your way he won't hit you."

Hinata shook her head about to dispute using him like a human shield until she noticed the web attached to the arrow stuck in his back and how it ran a line right back to Kidomaru, and chakra was still coursing through it. She quickly grabbed the line and sent a burst of chakra through the web before taking off towards Kidomaru's direction.

XxX

"So stupid…" Kidomaru said to himself as he saw Hinata rush towards him from Sasuke's position. He prepared to take aim at her, but before he could form another arrow he found a rather destructive jolt coursing through his system that froze him up and forced him to fall from the tree, dropping his bow and arrow. As he hit the forest floor he realized that he could taste blood. His organs had been damaged by whatever had just happened, 'What the hell? What just happened?' He wondered as the feeling in his body came back enough for him to stand up, however just as he did Hinata rushed through the brush and hit him right in the center of the chest with a palm strike.

"Please just die…" Hinata said regretfully as she saw the blood start to flow from Kidomaru's mouth, "You should never have come here, I'm sorry." She waited there until Kidomaru dropped to the ground and passed on with one final death rattle before turning and running back to where she left Sasuke.

XxX

(With Naruto)

Jirobo was choking the life out of Naruto and Neji who were slowly losing their grip on consciousness. Naruto grabbed the sturdy arm of Jirobo tight and began channeling youki to his hands to form claws that he dug into the arm deeply with, drawing blood from the deep gashes he left. Neji gripped the arm choking him tight in order to relieve some pressure and jabbed at certain points on the arm to render it unusable, forcing Jirobo to drop him to the ground.

Neji fell on his backside, holding his throat and blinking back tears drawn from the lack of oxygen for so long. He regained his footing as soon as he could and smashed Jirobo under the chin with a palm strike that freed Naruto from the mammoth enemy's clutches.

Naruto was quicker to recover from being choked than Neji and formed a blue fireball in his hand, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!" A fireball that he used to blast Jirobo right in the face, sending him stumbling back and yelling in pain from his burns.

Neji moved in to finish him with a palm strike to the chest, but Jirobo saw him coming and with murder in his eyes, overpowered Neji's attempted attack with a straight punch that broke his hand, disrupted his attack, and followed through to hit Neji right in the jaw and knock him away, sending him flying off and bouncing his frame sickeningly off of a tree trunk.

Naruto growled and used his sharpened claws to take one single swipe at Jirobo, winding up catching him in the throat, cutting deeply.

He stumbled back, gasping as blood swiftly poured from the wound, his large hand that had not been paralyzed by Neji grasping at it in vain to keep the vital fluid inside. Naruto watched him back against the tree, his eyes frantically looking around for anyone, anything to save him from such a death, but it was for naught. After a moment he fell to the ground, after another he lay there lifelessly. His transformed state having receded to show his normal form.

Naruto caught his breath and slowly stilled his breathing, bringing it back to a normal rate after the battle. He turned to Neji who was conscious and trying to stand up with the help of a tree, the look of his face clearly one of a person who had suffered a head injury of some sort.

Naruto got up and walked over to Neji, holding up three fingers, "Okay calm down Neji. How many fingers am I holding up? What's your name? What's today's date?"

Neji pushed Naruto's hand away, "Three fingers, my name is Neji Hyuuga, and today's June 11th. I know how to check for head injuries Uzumaki. It's not that serious." He swayed slightly on his feet before righting himself, "What can I say about this enemy, except of course good riddance. But seriously he lived a good life…and now that he's dead our lives are pretty good too. Who the hell was that person?"

"I think he was after Sasuke." Naruto said with a frown before widening his eyes, "Or he was here to distract me while someone else went after Sasuke! Damn it, Princess and the brats are with him! He's a sitting duck!" Naruto quickly formed a fireball and threw it at Jirobo's body, in an effort to burn the body on the spot. He and Neji then took off to where they left the others.

XxX

(Moments Later)

Naruto and Neji found Hinata and Sasuke back under the gazebo with the children standing off to the side watching in horror. Naruto slid to his knees by Sasuke's side, "Damn it, what happened to him?" He asked Hinata who was sitting by Sasuke's side trying to keep him comfortable.

"We were attacked." She said, "Sasuke-kun went out to fight him and got wounded when I tried to help. The attacker was a long-range fighter too good for me to get close to. We were able to kill him though. He's still in the woods." She looked at Naruto and Neji, "What are we going to do? I had Hanabi-chan call our father before I went to go try to help."

Naruto pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number, "Shizune-neechan please tell me that you or Rin-neechan are working a hospital shift right now." He waited for a moment to get a response, "No I'm not hurt… well, I'm kind of beat up but that's not the point. This isn't for me. Are one of you working or not?"

"_Yes Naruto-kun. Can you get whoever it is here quickly? Where are you?"_

Before he answered, Naruto looked up to see Hiashi Hyuuga and a man looking just like him walking with guards towards the gazebo, "Give me a moment and I'll see." He looked over at Hinata, "Do you think that Sasuke and I can get a ride to the hospital. Or would having Sasuke bleed in whatever expensive car your family took to get here be out of the question?"

Hinata looked up as her father made it over to them and began speaking, "What happened here? Why did you have Hanabi call me Hinata?"

She bowed slightly before speaking frantically, "I'm sorry Otou-sama, but there was trouble. This boy, Sasuke Uchiha, he was hurt trying to keep us out of harm's way. Can we take him to the hospital?"

Hiashi looked down at Sasuke who was still conscious and met his gaze weakly, but still with determination. He then looked over at Naruto who was giving him a similar look, only with more strength behind it, "Very well. We will assist Uzumaki and the young Uchiha boy to the hospital." Naruto didn't have to be told twice and took off his vest to wrap around Sasuke in order to keep him from staining the car they would ride in with blood.

"Come on Deputy, we're going to get you all patched up." Naruto said as he hoisted Sasuke up and turned to the kids, "Come on everyone, you're coming with us. I can't leave Konohamaru like this and I can't leave any of you either." The kids all followed Naruto as he rushed away towards the direction the Hyuuga adults came from to find their car.

Hiashi's brother Hizashi looked at Neji as Hiashi, Hinata, and Hanabi began heading to the vehicle as well, "Neji, what happened here? You look rather injured yourself."

Neji shook his head and began walking alongside him, "I am fine father. Uzumaki and I won our battle without too much issue." He held his head and had to have Hizashi keep him level, "I am fine… I just need to rest for a moment."

XxX

(Undisclosed Location)

"Motherfucker!" Tayuya shouted as she punched a wall and kicked over a laptop that had been keeping a tab on her teammates' vitals, "Those useless cocksuckers all got wasted by those two! How could they all have lost?"

"It seems that I was right to come after all." A calm voice said that made Tayuya's blood run cold, "The deadline for your mission has passed. You have failed Tayuya."

She turned around to see a young man with pale skin, green eyes, and shoulder length white hair with two dots on his forehead. He wore loose-fitting long-sleeved zip-up shirt, black pants, sandals, and had a circular patterned marking of three curved lines on his throat.

Tayuya backed away from him with fear in her eyes, "I can get the Uchiha kid by myself! The others were just stupid about how they tried it! I don't need the help from the others Kimimaro, just give me more time!"

"It's too late." Kimimaro said as he pulled a knife-shaped bone from his own body, "Trash such as you that cannot complete simple tasks cannot be allowed to serve Orochimaru-sama. Goodbye Tayuya. It seems I will have to handle this myself."

XxX

(Konoha General Hospital)

Shizune shut the door to the hospital room she had prepped for Naruto's friend upon his arrival. It was child's play for her to isolate a room for Naruto to stay in or use. It was a trick she and Rin had developed during their careers and the use of hospital work as a cover ID. If someone died that day they would keep their name on the ledger and allow an injured mercenary the rights to that room while keeping tabs on it themselves and keeping other doctors away. Was it somewhat distasteful? Yes, but it had to be done from time to time. Less nowadays with Tsunade working at Kaisha Hein HQ once more, still it was a practice that was still useful.

"Do you need anything Shizune-san?"

Shizune, at the sound of the voice gave a smile to the person who spoke, "Oh, that's okay, I just got through checking on Tenryuu-san. He asked to not be disturbed for the remainder of the day, but I'll check in on him later just to make sure. Thank you anyway, you're a very lively intern Kabuto."

A young man with silver hair in a ponytail wearing purple scrubs and glasses smiled as he tilted his glassed up onto his face appropriately, "Oh it's no problem at all Shizune-san. Everyone that knows me says that I'm a helpful kind of guy." Kabuto said with a smile.

* * *

Character Profile 13

Name: Hinata Hyuuga

Nickname: Princess (by Naruto), Hinata-oneesama (by Hanabi)

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'2/101 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Byakugan kekkei genkai, gentle and sweet normal demeanor, Hyuuga Clan heiress, perceptive, Jyuuken taijutsu style proficiency, incredible chakra control for very precise techniques, rudimentary medical skills.

Likes: Pressing flowers, improving her Jyuuken combat skills, red bean soup, cinnamon rolls, the Hyuuga Clan, her little sister Hanabi, tea ceremonies, being able to help others, travelling.

Dislikes: Violence, seafood, arrogant people, fighting, Neji-niisan's poor attitude, being compared to a princess (generally by just Naruto), being accused of taking advantage of her family's name and status.

Theme Song: "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo

Notes: Hinata is the kind-hearted heiress of the affluent Hyuuga Clan, set to take over the duties of leading once her father steps down. Upon being introduced she has a rather cold, detached demeanor, but after earning her trust one will find no girl kinder, especially for her standing in society. She is far from defenseless and is quite talented with her family combat style, being among the best of her generation to take up the practice, however the lack of desire to harm those around her holds her back from going further in her skills. In response to this she has formed a more defensive fighting tactic in combat that the more offensive style generally seen from Jyuuken practitioners, as she would rather aim to disable than to kill. She and her younger sister Hanabi have formed a close relationship with Naruto Uzumaki due to their interaction on his mission to protect her.

Quote: "We must be the change we want to see."

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts."

"Yes… I'm certain that you're very, very unique… Just like everyone else."

"I do not like fighting, but I will not allow you to harm the people I consider close to me. Prepare yourself."

"Yes I suppose that technically I am a princess all things considered. However if that just so happens to be the case then this princess orders you to be quiet on the matter."

"The quickest way to a man's heart is with my Jyuuken."

Character Profile 14

Name: Neji Hyuuga

Nickname: Neji-teme (by Naruto), Neji-niisan (by Hinata and Hanabi)

Age: 16

Height/Weight: 5'9/164 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Byakugan kekkei genkai (more powerful than most in his clan), cool and realistic personality, very difficult to fluster, excels at close-range combat with his Jyuuken style of taijutsu, prodigical skill in combat, condescending attitude to enemies and those he has deemed as being beneath him.

Likes: Victory, training his Byakugan, meditation, the Hyuuga Clan, herring, his duty to his clan, training his Jyuuken, testing his abilities.

Dislikes: Weak people, pumpkin-flavored anything, spicy foods, eccentric personalities, quitters, those who would stand against the Hyuuga Clan and their allies, anyone who would harm Hinata-sama or Hanabi-sama, outsiders of the clan.

Theme Song: "All Apologies" by Nirvana

Notes: Neji is the son of Hizashi Hyuuga, the younger brother of Hyuuga Clan head Hiashi Hyuuga and the lead protector of the Hyuuga Clan Jyuuken style. This position will be filled by Neji upon his father's retirement and has required Neji to prepare himself on all fronts; socially, politically, and gave him a need to excel at the clan taijutsu style. This eventually led to him developing an innate talent that had not been seen in the clan for generations. He is incredibly protective of the clan heiresses Hinata and Hanabi, though that could also be accredited to them being his direct relation blood cousins. He is very loyal to his clan and is quite defensive to outsiders who attempt to forge relationships into it, especially with the clan head's daughters… leading to his initial mistrust and dislike of Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha.

Quote: "I don't need a weapon. My hands are my weapons."

"See, that's how you fight. Face your enemy man-to-man, or in your case, woefully inadequate man-to-woman because you fighting me just isn't fair."

"That was the single worst excuse for taijutsu ever… of all time."

"Do you understand now? You have no way of defeating me."

"No one makes me bleed my own blood… No one!"

Character Profile 15

Name: Shizune

Nickname: Shizune-neechan (by Naruto)

Age: 25

Height/Weight: 5'5/110 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Dark neck-length hair, black eyes, lithe frame, high medical skills, speedy fighting style, use of medical tools as weaponry, liberal use of poisons in battle, accomplished senbon user, usually meek and disarming demeanor that turns harsh in high-pressure situations.

Likes: Tsunade-sama, her work as both an active Kaisha Hein medic and an attending doctor at Konohagakure General Hospital, improving her medical skills, working with new poisons, taking care of Naruto-kun, spending time with Rin.

Dislikes: Alcoholic beverages (both drinking them herself and allowing others to do so), gambling, taking care of Naruto-kun, messy battles or conflicts, being underestimated in combat, perverts, swimming, commuting to work.

Theme Song: "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve

Notes: Shizune is a trained medic and fully certified MD on par with the greatest healers on the continent due to her time training from a young age with Tsunade Senju. 15 years ago she was the first person to see a newly born Naruto Uzumaki and confirm that he was an orphan. After forgetting this incident she came upon Naruto years later after a run-in with a kidnapper who had also taken Sasuke Uchiha and tormented the two boys. Believing it to be fate of some sort, Shizune began a sort of sisterly relationship with Naruto, helping him whenever he needed medical assistance and just overall looking out for his well being. While her master Tsunade was away from Konoha, Shizune kept her up to date on the happenings of Kaisha Hein as an operative in the PMC from afar due to her friendship with Rin, finally actively joining the company upon Tsunade's return to Konoha. She specializes in one-hit combat with poisons and sedatives to quickly subdue or kill her enemies.

Quote: "Doctor Shizune says take two poisoned senbon to the throat and call me when you're dead. 'Ring, ring.' Hello? Is it you? Yup… you're dead."

"Oh, I'm just so depressed. I can't even threaten your life for being such a jackass… Jackass… I'll kill you." (to Naruto)

"It's quiet… Too quiet." *explosion rings out* "Suddenly it's too loud! I liked it better when it was quiet!"

"You may think you're all healed, you may even look all healed, but you're NOT all healed… now shut up and get back into bed."

"Alright that's it. If you end up dying for being stupid and come back to haunt me for failing to save you I'll just slap your dumb ghost ass and tell you it was your own dumb fault for not listening to me… the _trained and licensed practitioner of physical medicine_… you fucking idiot."

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**Chapter done. I have not a lot to say. Review for your pimptastic pope, I'm going to go do Saturday night stuff. Later world, Kenchi out.**


	37. Devil's Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. When Kishimoto kicks the bucket he should set up the ultimate scavenger hunt with clues only a true fan or the series would be able to comprehend leading to a hidden underground tomb or something with a blank legal contract that can be signed by whoever gets there first for the rights to Naruto. You know, pull some _National Treasure_ shit… and for the record if this happens and I see Nicholas Cage anywhere near one of my goddamn clues I swear to God I'm going to capture him and beat his ass, and blame it on him making _Bangkok Dangerous_.

**Chapter 37: Devil's Night**

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After arriving at the hospital, Naruto bid the Hyuuga Clan a thank you and took Sasuke, Konohamaru, and his little friends inside to get the raven-haired police trainee some medical assistance. Luckily for them all, Shizune was basically there to meet them at the door to the emergency room and quickly got them to the room she had managed to get vacant without any questions asked.

After a few hours of work, Shizune was able to let Naruto and the kids he had taken responsibility for inside of the room Sasuke had been placed in to rest. Medical ninjutsu weren't widely known by doctors, and Shizune never used them in front of those that weren't mercenaries or people that were in the know so to speak, but that wasn't a problem here. Still, even with the effective medical treatment, Sasuke had been heavily injured and needed more time to wake up.

"He can go home when he wakes up Naruto-kun." Shizune said to Naruto inside of Sasuke's room after finishing his treatment, "I know how you and people you know are about staying in hospitals." She then placed her hands on her hips with a stern look on her face, "But you seriously have the worst track record of easy missions I've ever seen."

"I know…" Naruto said in exasperation. She was right. Barely anything he did was easy, but he had to admit that if things were he wouldn't find his job nearly as interesting, "Well at least the people are after Sasuke and maybe me instead of Konohamaru." He said, actually comforting the boy knowing that he wasn't being targeted, "We already beat some guy that could split himself into two, I fought and beat some super-strong guy, and Sasuke beat a long-range specialist. That's got to be the entire team so we're safe for now. If there was anyone else wouldn't they have tried to grab him when Princess was dragging him out of the rain?"

"Were you all hurt?" Shizune asked, checking the unconscious Uchiha over while questioning her little brother figure.

"Neji was more or less out on his feet." Naruto said, remembering the way Neji walked all the way back to the others, "Princess seemed shaken up after whatever had happened, and I'd say I'm the only one who wasn't tired. I'm good from that check-up you gave me aren't I Shizune-neechan?" He asked her.

"Yes Naruto-kun you're fine." Shizune said with a smile, "I wish that the Hyuuga boy that was here when you arrived would have stayed though. He looked rather concussed, but I guess they would trust their own doctors for something like that."

Sasuke's eyes started stirring as he slowly opened his eyes, "Ow…" His eyes snapped open and he had a rather glazed look in them, "Actually nevermind. No ow after all. Instead, content haze of fuzzy numbness. I feel awesome."

Naruto smirked at the lightheaded words from Sasuke and turned to Shizune, "Can you give me some morphine so I can shoot him full of some when he starts acting like an asshole? I like the doped up Sasuke, he seems like fun." He looked back over at Sasuke who was laughing stupidly as he apparently got a kick out of activating and deactivating his Sharingan repeatedly.

Shizune watched the same scene with a sweatdrop on her head, "Um, no. Anyway he's awake, so you guys can leave. Get him home quickly though and let him rest."

Naruto nodded, "Okay. We have to go back to the park and drop the brats back off before I get the douche with the cigarettes and the hot red-eyed lady with the attitude problem after my throat. Then I'll drag him right home. Pick-up time is supposed to be 8pm and Deputy has been out of it for the last five hours, we have thirty minutes."

"Hey dobe… how are you doing?" Sasuke said brightly as Naruto walked over and roughly picked him up fireman style, "Where we going?"

"I'm doing better than you at the moment. And I'm taking your wounded ass home to get some sleep." Naruto said with a grin as the kids began to follow him out of the room. He poked his head inside of the door to give Shizune one last smile of gratitude before leaving, "Bye Shizune-neechan. I owe you a huge favor in the future, so don't hesitate to cash in alright?"

She waved him off with a cheery smile, "Just get out of here Naruto-kun, and be careful alright?"

Naruto nodded, "Sure thing… I'll be as careful as the world will let me be. I'll see you later."

Sasuke waved from over Naruto's shoulder as the blonde carried him away, "Bye lady that could pass for a member of my clan on any day of the week!" He tapped Naruto on the back to get his attention as he carried him out of the hospital, "Hey Naruto, who are we?" He asked good-naturedly.

Naruto grinned back at his friend, "Sasuke Uchiha!" He said loudly and obnoxiously with a fist in the air.

"Naruto Uzumaki!" His dark haired best friend shouted back in reply, patting Naruto on the back.

"Leaders of men-!"

"-With bullseyes on our asses!"

They both shouted at the top of their lungs as the kids followed them with confused looks on their faces as they continued. Moegi whispered to Konohamaru, "What are they doing Konohamaru? Mercenaries are so weird…"

"Weird nothing." Konohamaru said, almost in awe of the two powerful teens, "These guys are so awesome! I want to be a mercenary!"

Naruto pointed his thumb at Sasuke as they traversed the halls, caught up in Sasuke's drug hazed good mood, "You're a star Sasuke Uchiha!"

"Big star!" He yelled in agreement, completely out of his usual character, "I blow solar flares out of my ass!"

"Yeah!" They both yelled as they walked through the lobby, though once Naruto got outside he calmed down, "I think I should let you sober up a bit before I take you home or Mikoto-kaa will stomp my ass."

"Actually… that Shizune lady gave you something to give me so that I don't pull my hair out from the pain right?" Sasuke asked, "Because I'm going to need a reason to not answer my family's asinine questions tonight."

XxX

Asuma and Kurenai returned to the park at 8 o'clock sharp to retrieve Konohamaru from Naruto. The two guardians found Naruto and Sasuke sitting exactly where they left them earlier that afternoon. Asuma walked over and saw bandages through holes in Sasuke's clothing, "What in the hell happened to him?"

Naruto yawned as a side effect of the long day, "Do you really care? I could just tell you that the reason had nothing to do with Konohamaru and we could all move on here."

Asuma frowned. He couldn't really blame the kid though. It had probably been a long day, and it wasn't like he and Kurenai had endeared themselves to him by their earlier interaction before, "Alright. There doesn't even seem to be a scratch on him and you've got the council members kids here too just like they said." He noticed a light glare coming from Naruto and rolled his eyes, "Yes, dad said we were going to pay you extra for the additional work."

"Sweet." Naruto said as he stood up, "Then this mission is done. Can we get a ride to the subway station so we can go home though?" He motioned back to Sasuke, "He's kind of really messed up and the walk back all the way to the Res where he lives would take hours the way that he is now." Asuma looked unsure about giving them a ride, the car would be packed. Realizing that his plan wasn't working, Naruto switched his attention to Kurenai trying to pull a puppy-dog eyes trick.

Kurenai just stared at him blankly before sighing, "Fine, the kids have to sit on your laps because there's no room."

"That's fine." Naruto said with a grin before running over to the bench and picking Sasuke up again, "Come on Deputy, we're getting a ride to the station."

"Ow!" Sasuke yelled in pain as Naruto carried him to the car Asuma and Kurenai had taken to pick the children up, "Put me down damn it! I can walk on my own now and this fucking hurts, the morphine wore off!"

Naruto ignored Sasuke as they headed towards the parking lot and Asuma turned his attention to his little nephew, "So Konohamaru. How was today? You weren't bored or they didn't do anything bad to you did they?"

The ten year old eagerly shook his head, "No way Uncle Asuma. Boss is awesome!"

"Boss?" Asuma and Kurenai repeated in confusion. Kurenai shook her head trying to make sense of the boy's last statement, "Who is 'boss' Konohamaru?"

"Naruto is boss!" He said, trying to explain, "He's so awesome, he's the real deal! Just like all the stories you and grandpa tell me about when you guys used to do it, a real mercenary! I want to hang out with him all the time!"

Asuma and Kurenai looked at each other strangely before the bearded male shrugged and began walking towards the car to get it started, "Okay kids." Kurenai said, getting their attention as she smiled warmly at them, "It's time to take you all home. It seems like it's been a long day." She motioned and corralled them towards the car.

XxX

(30 Minutes Later)

Sasuke and Naruto sat on the subway train heading back closer towards their neck of the woods so to speak as both were basking in the relative vacancy of the car they were in. Sasuke tried shutting his eyes to catch some z's, but every bump and shift of the train aggravated his wounds, "Getting shot hurts…" Sasuke mumbled as he leaned back in his chair before Naruto reached over and poked one of his visibly bandaged wounds, "Ow! Prick!"

Naruto whistled innocently as Sasuke glared over at him, debating the positives and negatives of trying to start a fight with his street urchin friend on the subway.

"I really don't think you should mess with your friend's injuries like that." A silver-haired man a quite roughly five years older than Naruto and Sasuke said helpfully with a smile on his face. He wore glasses and purple hospital scrubs and had his hair in a ponytail, "They look rather fresh. Shouldn't you still be in the hospital?"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at one another before realizing that he must work at the hospital due to his attire and attitude about Sasuke's injuries. Sasuke looked at the young man and shook his head, "I'm fine. I just don't want to be poked by my idiot friend here."

The man chuckled, "Yeah I suppose that would be pretty irksome to any kind of injury." He then gained a look of realization on his face, "Wait, you're Sasuke Uchiha. Yeah, I saw you on the news today." He let out another laugh that sounded rather anxious, "I can't believe I'm actually meeting you, my name is Kabuto Yakushi."

"You a doctor Kabuto?" Naruto asked him lazily, not really interested in someone else in the city being starstruck at speaking to Sasuke. He had gotten used to that years ago, "Do you know Rin Hatake, or a lady named Shizune?"

"Yeah!" Kabuto said in reply, "I'm an intern and I actually work under Shizune-san." He saw Naruto's face brighten up, "Do you know Shizune-san…" He finished tentatively as he didn't know Naruto's name.

"Naruto." Naruto provided his name for him, extending his hand for a shake that Kabuto accepted, "Naruto Uzumaki. And yeah I know her. Shizune-neechan's one of the few doctors I actually trust. I love her like family." He then narrowed his eyes at Kabuto, "You don't give her any trouble do you?"

Kabuto started backing away, waving his hands in front of him defensively, "N-No! I don't, honest!"

"Good." Naruto said firmly before getting slapped in the head by Sasuke, "What the fuck Deputy?"

Sasuke painfully pulled his arm back from hitting Naruto, "How you think that you have a right to talk to someone else about not causing trouble is beyond me. What did we just get through doing not even three hours ago?"

Rubbing the back of his head angrily, Naruto huffed, "That's just it. I can cause problems because I don't know any better. I'm not about to let some random guy mess with my big sister… that's _my_ job."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and faced Kabuto again to try and smooth things out with this guy they just met. There was no need for him to think they were crazy just because… well, just because Naruto was crazy, "Sorry about that. Naruto has a kind of abrasive personality to most people. He's not what you'd call civilized."

"It's alright." Kabuto assured him, "I've had some rather unruly patients before, at least he didn't blatantly threaten me or curse me out. You'd be surprised how often I get earfuls every day. I wish I was more assertive like Shizune-san is with her patients. They never give her much of an issue at all."

Naruto shook remembering how Shizune almost took his manhood before it was ever even used in the first place a while back, "They don't give her much of an issue for their own safety. Shizune-neechan is super-scary when she wants to be." 'I can see how Tsunade-baa trained her sometimes.'

"Well it was nice to meet you both." The unassuming silver-haired medic said brightly, "My stop is coming up next and I need to get out of here. Twelve hour shifts aren't very fun…" He said with a smidge of humor, holding on to the rail to help people stand on the train as it came to a stop. The doors opened and Kabuto waved to them both, "Well keep up the good work Sasuke-kun, and Naruto-kun if you see her tell Shizune-san I said hello."

"We've got to get home too Kabuto, maybe we'll see you around." Naruto waved to the man as he left the train, "I like that guy. He's kind of timid, but he seems decent." He said to Sasuke who leaned back in his seat.

"Yeah I guess…" Sasuke said absently, cringing at his wounds once the train started moving again, "Kami, I think I'm going to need that second shot before I get home. Eitehr that or something to bite down on. My shoulders feel like they're being held on by electric tape. The stitches are good though."

"Fine…" Naruto said, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a syringe and the morphine that was given to him because of Sasuke's pain by Shizune, "Deep breath." Naruto said as he filled the syringe and Sasuke obeyed.

"Gah!" Sasuke yelled out loudly in the empty train car as Naruto drove the needle into his wounded shoulder, "That hurts sooo fucking bad!"

"Yeah." Naruto said, discarding the needle on the floor of the train as he sure as hell wasn't going to keep it with him, "I know. Just calm down because you're not even going to remember being hurt in about forty-five seconds."

Sasuke was breathing heavily for a little more than a minute and a half before he started mellowing out again. Naruto simply put his headphones in and let Sasuke sleep as they continued on towards their stop.

XxX

(One Hour Later – Uchiha Main House)

Naruto had never been so grateful for the cover of darkness more than right then. Apparently when Sasuke was all up on morphine or any other kind of painkiller he became pleasant to deal with. Pleasant and talkative… because all the way to Sasuke's house, all the way through his neighborhood that was filled with members of his family he simply would not shut the hell up. Naruto knew that with the exception of Itachi, Mikoto, and Obito, the entirety of the clan hated him.

He couldn't really blame them. He was sort of a punkass kid for a long time, and still was, and he would readily admit to being a horrible influence on Sasuke, and for these reasons the rest of the clan didn't really like him being so close to their family. They were supposed to be the pinnacle of justice in the city, and having Naruto so close to the top of the family so to speak was not exactly endorsed. Even Sasuke's dad didn't like him, but he tolerated him because his wife liked him, as did both of his sons. However if Itachi ever told him to do anything he would, even if it was to never see them again. Itachi was one of the few people in the world that had his full respect for what he had done for him years ago when he and Sasuke were kidnapped that only those two were aware of. A secret that the two decided to take to the grave if it came down to it. It would either destroy Itachi's career, or the Uchiha Clan's standing in Konohagakure no Sato, and Naruto didn't want either.

But that was another issue altogether. Currently at the moment, Naruto wiped a bead of sweat from his face as he set Sasuke on the front porch of his house. Naruto made sure that the Uchiha with the loopy look on his eyes was steady on his feet before making for the doorbell, "Good luck Deputy. I'll call you tomorrow and see how you made out. Maybe they won't be too rough on you with your injuries." With that, Naruto rang the doorbell and hightailed it out of there as fast as he possibly could, not turning back or slowing down.

Sasuke stood in place, looking down the street where Naruto was currently burning the rubber out of the soles of his shoes from how fast he was running before he turned back around to the sound of the door opening. He then came face to face with the uncharacteristically stern face of his mother Mikoto Uchiha, "Hi mom!" Sasuke said with a smile.

Placing her hands on her hips Mikoto looked at her son, shaking her head in disapproval, "Sasuke, Itachi has already told me and your father about the case that you're working. I hope you enjoyed your day after what we saw on the news because I don't think you're going to be having too many free days out until this business is solved." She then noticed his rather tattered attire and the bandages underneath, "What on earth happened to you? You didn't look this bad on TV."

Sasuke looked up at his mother with a tired expression on his face, "Long story mom." Sasuke said as he slogged past her inside and walked through the living room past his father, wearing a long black trenchcoat with the clan crest on the back, and brother, who was wearing a black shirt with the clan crest on the back and black pants, both giving him Sharingan enhanced looks that he couldn't care any less about if you had asked him to, "You guys can chew me out tomorrow morning. I'm tired. And Naruto says hi you guys…" With that he left and headed back towards his room.

The three other Uchiha in the house simply watched as Sasuke walked back to his room and shut the door before Sasuke's father turned to the others, "Did he really just walk past all of us like we weren't even here?"

Mikoto's gaze shifted from a stern one to a look of concern, "Sasuke really looked beat up. Did he look like that when you saw him earlier Itachi?" She asked her eldest son.

"No." Itachi said calmly, "He must have had to fight again after I left him and Naruto-kun alone." He looked over at his father, "I believe that the matter of Sasuke and exactly what he's gotten himself into can wait until he's had sufficient rest."

Mikoto moved over to Sasuke's father and put a hand on his shoulder, "I think Itachi is right. He's here and he'll be here in the tomorrow. I'll make sure he doesn't leave Fugaku."

Fugaku looked between his wife and oldest child and sighed as he stood up, "Alright. I need to get to the station anyway. Itachi if I'm not here when Sasuke wakes up then you can be the one to ask him about everything that's happened so far." He sighed as he started walking towards the door, opening it before looking back at the others, "There's a reason we steered clear of that case after it went cold. It's definitely not something for a kid to handle. Not in any way at all." He left, shutting the door behind him.

Mikoto looked at the shut front door and back to Itachi with a rather concerned look on her face, "Itachi-."

"Everything will be fine mother." Itachi assured her, standing up and placing his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down somewhat, "I promise you that nothing will happen to Sasuke. That's my job, I'm his big brother aren't I?" He said with a ghost of a smile.

Mikoto smiled at her son, "Thank you Itachi. I know that you will. I think I'll go to bed now. And don't think about asking Sasuke your questions without me there. I know I never made it up the ladder in the police force as far as you and Fugaku but he's my son and I believe I should know what's going on as well."

"Of course." Itachi relented without any argument whatsoever to his mother, who despite him being stronger than her was still very scary when she was upset somehow. Something he never quite understood, "Get some rest. I'll stay up for a little while longer." Mikoto gave Itachi a kiss on the cheek and retired to the main bedroom for the night. Being the only Uchiha left up and about in the house, Itachi looked down the hall at Sasuke's room for a short while before going off on his own business for the time being.

XxX

Kimimaro walked through the midnight streets of Konoha before coming to a stop at the mouth of an alley and looking down it blankly. After a moment he walked into the alley out of sight of any of the few people that could have possibly seen him and waited for a moment before a voice spoke, "You took your time getting to the city Kimimaro." The sly voice said, "Any loose ends?"

"No." Kimimaro said firmly and without room for question, "Sakon was burned to ashes by the Uchiha, I disposed of Ukon's body as well as Jirobo's and Kidomaru's, and Tayuya will not be an issue. They knew the price of their failure and they underestimated the target and his resources." He scoffed in disgust at the failure of the others, "If he were that easy to obtain he would be of no use to Orochimaru-sama's ambition."

"Indeed." The voice said with more than a little trace of humor in his voice, "Well from the condition that Sasuke-kun is in I would say that you wouldn't have to worry about much of a fight from him for quite some while. Kidomaru managed to do more than enough damage to make him all but defenseless."

"Where is he?" Kimimaro demanded.

The voice didn't answer at first, "Kimimaro you could wait. Sasuke-kun won't be any kind of threat for quite some time with his injuries and even if he were full strength you know that it wouldn't matter anyway."

The white-haired teen shook his head, "Orochimaru-sama cannot wait. This is the reason I've been dispatched to handle the matter. No matter the issue, Sasuke Uchiha will be in Orochimaru-sama's hands by sunrise. Now where is he?"

"He's back at his home. You know where the Uchiha have decided to roost? That neighborhood, the main house. You'll know exactly which one it is." Kimimaro nodded and left the alley. The shadowy figure smirked and pushed a pair of glasses up on his face, "I wonder if requesting Kimimaro to come in was a little bit too much? Overkill maybe?" He chuckled before slipping deeper into the darkness.

XxX

(1:00 a.m. – Naruto's Apartment)

Naruto dropped his gear at the door and yawned as he walked inside his darkened apartment, "Today was more trouble than it was worth for a measly 5000 ryo. I'm going to kick Ero-sennin in the face Monday if it's the last thing I do." As he made it to his room in the back and emptied his pockets he looked at his cell phone and smirked, "Man I wish Kyuubi-chan was awake right now. Talking dirty to her would make me feel better about how much today sucked."

Taking off his shirt, filthy from his fight with Jirobo earlier and dragging a bloody Sasuke to and through the hospital, Naruto threw it aside and walked back out to his kitchen and living room area, however when he walked past the hall closet he stopped and channeled youki to his right hand and slashed the door apart, revealing a black blur that jumped out and into the living room in his dark apartment, "I can smell you hiding in the closet you asshole." Naruto said with a growl as yet another person broke into his house. At least this time he was the only one here.

A man with a high spiky black ponytail wearing a white mask with red markings and a cream colored cloak slowly pulled out a tipless tanto, much like the one Sai tried to use against him and Kyuubi two days earlier, "You know Sai. Why are you in my house?"

"A test." The man plainly said before jumping over Naruto's coffee table and couch to slash at him with his blade. Naruto rolled backwards down the hall out of the path of the attack and from his crouched position post-roll he pulled out his large bowie knife from a concealed spot attached to his thigh.

Running back down the hall to start his own attack, Naruto cut at the man but missed, only leaving a huge gaff mark in his wall. In response the man kicked Naruto in the stomach, sending him stumbling back a few feet.

Rubbing his torso where he had been kicked, Naruto had to roll his eyes at how contrived and premeditated his day had been. He had fought four times, of the four fights he had been attacked three times, and two of the three attacks were ambushes. He liked fighting as much as the next guy, but this was ridiculous.

Not nearly hurt enough to think about surrendering or running away, especially after his promise to never lose again, Naruto switched his grip of the knife to a reverse position and came back in, swinging at the man, hitting nothing but air despite his use of an old tried and true tactic of melee fighting, "Swish-! Fuck, swish-! Goddammit! Stab-! Why the fuck is this not working?" He asked as he continued to attack, "What's so hard about 'swish, swish, stab'? Youtube said that shit always works!"

In retaliation, after dodging Naruto's attack, the masked attacker lashed out with a slash at Naruto's belly that he jumped to the side and avoided. Naruto growled and leapt at the man who fell to his back and threw his legs up in the air to kick Naruto back away from him, sending him flying hard into his bathroom door and smashing right through it.

Naruto's knife fell behind the toilet, disarming him as the mostly silent man made his way to the doorway. As he entered, about to cut Naruto with his tanto, Naruto ripped the metal bar of the towel rack above his head off and sharply jabbed him in his masked face before jumping back to his feet and swinging at his hands, smashing them and forcing him to drop the tanto. He bent down to retrieve it, but an upwards swing from Naruto again hit him in the masked face and sent him stumbling back before catching himself on the doorframe.

The mysterious invader rushed back at Naruto and rammed into him, driving him into the wall of the small bathroom as he tried to knee Naruto in the groin while trying to push the towel rack bar into his throat.

Naruto was able to keep his goods safe with his own knees and fired back with a pair of headbutts to the porcelain mask that gave him some room to free a hand that immediately took on an appearance of clawed nails as the young mercenary swiped at his attacker, cutting into his torso through the cloak. The red staining it mere seconds after his attack made contact let Naruto know that he had hit home with his assault.

The towel rack fell to the floor with a clang as Naruto stepped forward to follow up and beat his home invader into the ground now that he had the advantage. The man wasn't out of it yet as he kicked Naruto in the knee and dropped him down to one leg before grabbing a handful of blonde hair and slamming Naruto's head to the side to bounce it violently off of the sink, following with a knee to the face.

Naruto took the shot to the face and held on to the knee, ignoring the elbows and fists dropped on the back of his head and neck for his troubles. After taking a dozen hits, Naruto delivered a mean-spirited punch to the testicles that caused the man to let out an actual squeak of pain, the only indicator thus far that Naruto was really doing any damage to him.

As he stumbled back clutching his junk, Naruto delivered three hard punches that knocked him back under the doorframe of the bathroom. The nimble young fighter jumped up and grabbed the top of the doorframe, using it to swing and propel himself forward to deliver a pair of twin kicks right to the attacker's face, knocking him backwards into Naruto's hall closet again.

Naruto grinned ferally and realized that he had his enemy pigeon-holed at this point. He formed a blue fireball in his right hand and launched it, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!"

The man wasn't as trapped as Naruto thought as when the fireball hit him he disappeared in a puff of smoke to reveal a log that immediately caught on fire in a blue blaze. Naruto looked at the burning log in shock until he took a punch to the face and focused back on the person standing less than four feet from him, "Kawarimi? Really? Son of a bitch I thought I was the chosen one of the log! How are you going to use my move against me?"

The man merely shrugged and prepared to continue until both he and Naruto both smelled something. The barefoot Naruto then realized that he had been standing in something wet. Looking down he realized that his feet were covered in all kinds of cleaning solvents that spilled all over the place when he first ousted his opponent from the closet. His nose was burning from the strength of the chemical smell.

Naruto then went wide-eyed as he remembered the burning log in the closet. If the guy he was fighting wasn't wearing a mask he probably would have had the same look on his face. The floor all over the apartment was coated in highly flammable material and there was a fire right where it originated from. The two began punching at each other and shoving their way to the living room where they then split off. The attacker dove through Naruto's balcony window and escaped that way, while Naruto grabbed his shoes and bag at the door and ran outside that way, shutting the door behind him. Both made it to safety a second before Naruto's closet and his entire apartment burst into flames.

Naruto watched the man in the distance, leaping across the rooftops away from his apartment complex through where he was sitting against the wall outside and cursed as he saw him disappear into the dark, "Fuck!" Naruto yelled in anger. He couldn't even track him. He wasn't Kiba even if his nose was better than most, and at the moment his sinuses were filled with the smell of cleaning supplies. His heart, still beating quickly from the short encounter, started to slow down as he placed his shoes on and threw his backpack on before making his way down to where he had hidden his motorcycle.

As he started it up and pulled his goggles down he let out a sigh. There was always one place he could go even if his apartment was a flaming wreck, and from the sound of the sirens he needed to get out of there now, "The whole fucking world's against me dude, I swear to Kami."

XxX

(Uchiha Main House)

Itachi had a small smile on his face as he read through the files he had found in Sasuke's room while the younger Uchiha had been out all day, "Little brother you really need to learn how to hide things better." He chuckled as he looked over everything that Naruto had managed to get Sasuke as far as information on Orochimaru. Both of them had put their respective reputations on the line cooperating like this. Naruto for getting sensitive information like this to Sasuke in the first place, and Sasuke for accepting information from a PMC like Kaisha Hein. He didn't even get it from their uncle Obito where it might have been able to be explained away.

It was damn good information though. Naruto either had one hell of a portable hard drive or he had a ton of copying machine credits to get all of this stuff. He hadn't left out a smidge. Anything with Orochimaru's name in it was taken. Sasuke must have hated having to go through all of this stuff to get anything useful out of it, but he guessed that it was a lesson he could learn for the future.

Letting out a groan, Itachi stood up and stretched his tense muscles. He wasn't going to sleep that night. He wasn't going to sleep at all until Sasuke woke up the next day and the little Uchiha family interrogation took place. The reason he was going through all of the Orochimaru stuff before Sasuke could tell him anything was because he was the older brother, and as big brother it was his responsibility to cut off any answer Sasuke could give the family the next day during his explanation. He had to take the small pleasures in life, and no matter how old he got, making his little brother squirm and pissing him off was always a staple of entertainment.

While most of this stuff about Orochimaru was before his time he had heard the horror stories back when he was a kid of how the man abducted citizens. He had never had an inkling of what the motivation had been until he got to looking through what Sasuke had collected and put that together with the fact that he was now apparently pursuing Sasuke, 'Over my dead body you're getting Sasuke.' He thought to himself as he headed to the kitchen to fix himself some coffee, because once again, he wasn't going to sleep that night.

As he waited for it to brew he thought to himself, "I've had all I can stand of going through the intel from Sasuke. Maybe I should train? No, that's too loud. It would wake up Sasuke and mother." He said quietly to himself as his coffee finished brewing. After pouring himself a mug he walked outside and sat on the roof of his house, enjoying the silence of the night. After a while he felt the presence of someone standing on the top of the roof behind him.

"Where is Sasuke Uchiha?" The person asked him, "Tell me now and I'll make sure you die quickly and painlessly."

Itachi narrowed his eyes and stood up before turning around to face the man that was two years younger than him. A white haired young man in loose fitting clothes who had two dots on his forehead was giving him an even and cool glance that could have given his own a run for its money.

Itachi kept his cool as he shoved his hands into his pockets, subtly reaching for a fist full of shuriken, "Is there really a reason to fight? You're not getting Sasuke so just return to where you came from and tell your master that he's not getting my brother."

The strange young man stared at Itachi impassively before nodding, seemingly to himself. He pulled one of the shoulders of his shirt down, "Then you are Itachi Uchiha. I am Kimimaro Kaguya. If you won't hand over Sasuke Uchiha to me then I will simply have to go through you and take him. Tsubaki no Mai (Dance of the Camellia)." A short sword of bone emerged from his left arm that he pulled out and held in his right hand.

"Feel free to try." Itachi said calmly, "I wouldn't recommend it though." He said before jumping back off of the roof, dodging a slash from Kimimaro. As he fell from the roof he unleashed his shuriken at Kimimaro. The bone-wielding warrior deflected the metal projectiles and leapt off of the roof towards the backyard after Itachi.

As soon as his feet touched the ground, Itachi's eyes were directed up at Kimimaro who fell from the sky and attempted to stab him, only getting the ground for his troubles when Itachi dodged. After Kimimaro missed, Itachi lashed out with a kick directed at his head that he dodged by bending backwards perfectly and lashing out with a backflip kick in response. Itachi cartwheeled out of harm's way and kicked low with a sweep that Kimimaro again dodged before he started slashing at Itachi's lower body. Itachi remained crouched and spun away from the murderous stabs from his enemy.

Itachi finally stopped spinning and pulled out a kunai to block Kimimaro's sword as they both remained crouched. They then pushed away from each other and stared at each other, both still brandishing their respective weaponry.

'He's fast.' Both men thought simultaneously.

'I am the only one of Orochimaru-sama's forces that can handle this.' Kimimaro thought to himself as he and Itachi stared one another down, 'Why does he not use his Sharingan? That's what his clan is most famous for.'

Itachi had his own thoughts in mind as he and Kimimaro faced off properly, 'Sasuke couldn't beat this person even if he wasn't gravely injured. His body isn't fast enough to keep up with him, Sharingan or not. It doesn't matter how good he is though. He cannot be allowed to get past me, he won't harm mother or Sasuke.' He then looked intently at Kimimaro's bone sword, 'What a strange kekkei genkai though… what is it exactly?'

The first to make a move towards the other was Kimimaro as he lunged forward, but this was simply a feint to get Itachi to move towards him, when the Uchiha did so, Kimimaro lifted his free hand towards him, fingers out and called out a jutsu, "Teshin Sendan (Drilling Finger Bullets)." Small, hardened finger bones flew from his hands at Itachi and hit him flush, jerking his body violently with the force of the attack hitting.

However, Kimimaro narrowed his eyes when Itachi's body turned into dozens of crows that flew off. He looked around the yard for Itachi, impressed greatly at the man's skill, "He's _very_ fast. I never saw the hand-seals for any jutsu, nor did I see him ever replace himself with the clone." Itachi's body dropped from a nearby tree as he launched the kunai in his hand at Kimimaro, which was deflected, but it allowed Itachi to again disappear from his sight, "He's _incredibly _fast." Kimimaro said out loud in surprise, "I've never fought anyone so fast in my entire life."

"Katon: Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu)." Kimimaro turned his head and began rapidly dodging a large volley of fireballs that were launched at him from the roof of the Uchiha Main House. Instead of Sasuke's five or six, Itachi's consisted of over a dozen fireballs being launched.

Kimimaro took great care dodging them all, aware that more than a few Uchiha were known to hide weaponry inside of their fireballs when performing this technique, for all the good it did him when he found his body bound by nearly invisible wire attached to the shuriken in the fireballs, "Clever." Kimimaro said, dropping his bone weapon as his arms were bound tightly to his sides and his legs were bound together.

"I like to this so." Itachi said, jumping down from the roof and walking towards the man, "Now if you don't mind I'll be hauling you off to jail now. We need more information on Orochimaru anyway. Sasuke and Naruto-kun have a nasty habit of not being able to keep his other workers alive when they're through fighting them."

"I would never betray Orochimaru-sama by giving trash like you and yours information." Kimimaro said defiantly, "And I find it amusing that you think this is all that it will take to hold me here." He said as bones grew from his body and cut him free of Itachi's wires, "Karamatsu no Mai (Dance of the Larch)." He surprised Itachi as the wires fell from his body and he rushed at Itachi who had dropped down to finish him by incapacitating him somehow.

Luckily for Itachi he planned to put him down with a genjutsu and had activated his Sharingan to do so, this allowed him to not be caught off-guard by Kimimaro when the man rushed towards him again. _Un_luckily for Itachi, a backpedaling Itachi was slower than a Kimimaro that was rushing him down, especially when strange markings covered his body starting from the spot on his chest right under his collarbone, 'That's the marking that Sasuke and Naruto-kun kept talking about!'

Itachi didn't have much time to dwell on that, as that little power kick was the boost that Kimimaro needed to reach him. Spinning like a top, he ripped into Itachi's front with the bones protruding from his entire body. Itachi desperately lashed out with a kick to get him away, but ended up getting his foot caught in a trap of sorts on Kimimaro's body made of bone. The man never stopped spinning and used that momentum to throw Itachi hard against the stone wall surrounding the rather spacious amount of his family's property.

Itachi looked down at the cuts he received on his chest, ruining his shirt and forcing him to begin to bleed. They weren't even close to fatal however, and even if they were that wouldn't have stopped him from trying to continue however. In slow motion he saw Kimimaro rushing towards him to finish the job he started and Itachi immediately jumped up on the top of the wall and began running the length of it with Kimimaro hot on his heels.

Eventually the eldest Uchiha son flipped off of the wall and landed on the surface of a small pond meant for aesthetics… and something else, "Suiton: Suigadan (Water Release: Water Fang Bullet)." From the water, a liquid mass formed into a spinning drill that launched at Kimimaro and missed when he jumped off, instead hitting the wall itself and pulverizing it. Itachi launched into the air after Kimimaro, making hand-seals faster than he could keep up with before calling out his next move, "Katon: Hijikkou (Fire Release: Running Fire)!"

While in mid-air, Itachi took aim at Kimimaro and launched a kick at him that shot off a rolling wheel of fire that hit him in the chest and sent him flying into another yard nearby. Itachi chased after to confirm whether or not his foe was defeated, hopping a few more stone walls only to find Kimimaro standing up with his back towards him, "I see that I was right to tap into Orochimaru-sama's gift to me. You are quite the powerful enemy."

Itachi noticeably widened his eyes once Kimimaro turned around to reveal the top layer of skin on his chest had been burned away and underneath was a layer of a white material that looked like bone, "Hm." Itachi said dryly, hiding his shock and interest at Kimimaro, "That's interesting."

"It is the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse)." Kimimaro explained helpfully as the skin over his chest grew back over, "You didn't think that you were the only ones with a powerful bloodline in the world did you? I am granted an impenetrable skeletal frame that can resist any type of physical attack, in addition to being able to turn my bones into the sharpest spear. I grew a layer of bone directly underneath my skin to prevent your last attack from damaging me more heavily than it did. It hurt, rest assured, but other than that… nothing much."

Itachi just stared at him for a moment and noted that he wasn't stupid enough to lock eyes with him. Damn, he had intelligence on him. Another reason why it sucked being the media darling of the city; it wasn't that hard for people to find out things about you. No easy catch for the fight ending genjutsu it seemed, "I planned on doing this quietly and quickly, but I think I'm going to have to get a little loud to end this. I would apologize to the neighborhood in advance if I could, you are too dangerous to be subtle with."

He had told Sasuke that relying on his Sharingan was a weakness, that it was to be used as a trump card… he could only wish Sasuke could watch this battle for evidence as why that was most effective. He now was firmly committed to using the Sharingan against Kimimaro if he had that strange marking that exuded a strange chakra that he had never been in contact before, "I hope that you are prepared Kimimaro-san. If you are not then I fear that this battle will not last much longer for you."

* * *

Character Profile 16

Name: Ino Yamanaka

Nickname: Ino-pig (by Sakura)

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'3/101 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Skilled in her family techniques that are mostly centered on affecting the mind, perceptive, rather intelligent, amateur (almost instinctive) ability to sense others. Long blonde hair and distinctive blue eyes, rather bossy temperament, cheerful, energetic personality, infatuation with Sasuke Uchiha.

Likes: Sasuke, flowers, shopping, messing with Sakura, gossip, cherry tomatoes, purple, taking care of her appearance, bossing around others, gardening, dancing, dieting.

Dislikes: Getting one-upped by Sakura, sashimi, losing, ugly things, Sakura, having secrets kept from her, being forced to work part-time for her family company.

Theme Song: "Killer Queen" by Queen

Notes: Ino is a classmate of Naruto Uzumaki's, having been around through most of his school career. Despite only recently making an active effort to befriend Naruto, mostly due to his association with Sasuke Uchiha at first, she has found him to be a relatively good person to be around and has slowly learned to enjoy and appreciate his company. She has a long-standing relationship with Shikamaru Nara and Chouji Akimichi, due to their families having a close knit relationship going back for at least an entire generation. Despite the radically different personalities, they are all close friends, though Ino is rather bossy to the other two who usually go along with it just because. She has a rivalry with Sakura Haruno going back many years stemming from their mutual attraction to Sasuke, however he couldn't care less about either of them, something that they both lack the ability to notice. Ino's family is rather wealthy giving her a very materialistic view of the world.

Quote: "You just can't help but love me can you?"

"Come on, you can tell me anything, just think of me as your friendly psychiatrist. [You're just going to tell everyone after I do.] Well duh. I'm not _really_ a psychiatrist, there's no confidentiality agreement here, so spill!"

"A woman's heart is a tempestuous place, so approach at your own risk."

"It's okay. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson here is 'never try'."

"I'm not going to waste time trying to get into your head. I already know there's nothing there."

"As a beautiful woman anything that I do must be done twice as well as a man in order for me to be taken seriously… luckily this isn't really that hard to do."

Character Profile 17

Name: Sakura Haruno

Nickname: Forehead Girl (by Ino)

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'2/103 lbs

Special Skills/Traits: Long pink hair, random emotional outbursts (usually violent in some way), very intelligent and knowledgeable on many matters, great textbook intelligence, rather nonexistent combat skills and stamina, talent at observation and analysis, very opportunistic in dire straits, deep infatuation with Sasuke Uchiha, prominent forehead that she is rather sensitive about.

Likes: Sasuke, cherry blossoms, fruit, doing better at anything than Ino, trivia games, memorizing things, taking care of her hair, being useful to her friends, romance novels

Dislikes: Ino, stupid people, anything spicy, her own helplessness, winter, her forehead, people who make fun of her forehead, sitting back and doing nothing, physical activities, watching the hardships of others, soft drinks or anything with an exorbitant amount of calories.

Theme Song: "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd

Notes: Sakura is a rising freshman in the same year as Naruto Uzumaki. Through a series of events she is now considered a confidant of sorts to Naruto and his mercenary activities. Despite not being of use in battle, Sakura is very smart and has shown use in other ways as she has assisted Naruto in past conflicts in her own way. She has something of an inferiority complex once she learns of the various skills that her other classmates around her possess, making her the only relatively normal one in comparison and by her own view 'useless'. She is very intelligent and this shows in Sakura's scores in school, however she lacks knowledge in combat oriented areas of life making her something of a liability to the other more battle-adept teens. Sakura has a massive crush on Sasuke Uchiha that supersedes most of her other ambitions and goals, even long term. Sakura is mostly a very normal girl except for random violent mood swings that show off some kind of hidden strength of hers that forces others to tread rather lightly around her.

Quote: "Women have to be strong to survive in this world."

"Of course you have your own opinion… it's just that yours in particular is stupid so I'm going to ignore it."

"If I was really as intelligent as I think I am then I wouldn't even be here right now stuck in this stupid situation with you."

"The Weather Channel… do you want to know what I call the _real_ weather channel? The window."

"TV _is_ educational. Every time someone turns it on I go into the other room and read a book."

Character Profile 18

Name: Chouji Akimichi

Nickname: N/A

Age: 15

Height/Weight: 5'11/237 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Tremendous size and physical strength, skilled at his own rather stationary style of taijutsu, not very fast by mercenary standards, long brown hair, very proficient with his family techniques involving him expanding his size in various ways, gentle demeanor, usually seen eating food of some kind (usually chips).

Likes: Buying snacks, eating, Shikamaru or any others that he sees as close friends, Korean barbecue or any kind of meat, potato chips, hanging out with his friends, cooking shows, lifting weights, ramen.

Dislikes: Wax fruit, losing weight, fighting for no reason, lizards, people that insult him or his friends, diet anything, running or jogging.

Theme Song: "Self Esteem" by The Offspring

Notes: Chouji is a classmate of Naruto. He is a rather large teen for a boy his age, this led to him being picked on as a young man, however with the help of his best friend Shikamaru he eventually got over this and embraced his size as a positive instead of the negative many people portrayed it as. Chouji dislikes fighting, but is more than willing to defend his friends when they need him to. He is a very friendly person, but can become violent and hostile when a chance at food is threatened. To go with his size, Chouji has great physical strength, even among mercenaries like Naruto and he has great durability. Most of his attacks are centered around his size and strength accentuating it and hiding his lack of speed.

Quote: "Fat? Who's fat? I'm big-boned!"

"This is the real concept of dieting. 'If it tastes good, spit it out.' You can now see why I don't exactly endorse the practice."

"If that thing keeps talking bad about me I'm going to fucking smash it."

"What if we have to kill something? I'm a lover not a fighter!"

"Sorry about this, but the faster I kick your ass the faster the others are going to go get me my takeout, so you've got to go to sleep now. Goodnight."

* * *

**I'm tired. You don't care… I don't either. Later. Drop the kid a line. Next chapter is Itachi vs. Kimimaro so be ready for that, it should be awesome. Plus the fallout from all the crap going on, so… YEAH!**

**Kenchi out.**


	38. The Limits of My Ability

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But so what? If I go around saying I do own Naruto what's the worst that can happen to me?

Just for the record I'm not saying that I own Naruto, because I do not have enough money to pay any fines and I'll be damned if I go to prison. Do you know what they make you do in prison? Toss the salad.

Fuck. That.

I can't go to prison with botox-smooth balls and expect everything to be alright, it ain't that kind of place. I'm what they call 'man-pretty'.

Ahem, now that I've alienated 50% of my audience, those of you that remain please enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 38: The Limits of My Ability**

* * *

Itachi stared down his enemy as he stood in the yard of his neighbors… which were related to him. With any luck he wouldn't destroy too much of their backyard with this fight, and he planned on making it fast anyway. Kimimaro's cursed seal was out and exuding foul chakra that Itachi was able to clearly see now that he had committed to using his Sharingan. But with an opponent like a Kaguya here to do battle with he couldn't afford any holding back.

How a Kaguya wound up in Orochimaru's employ he would never know. They were a pretty tight knit group of killers based out of Mizu no Kuni, a pretty lawless nation that actually allowed a family of murderers to continue to do business in their realm. Having even one of them work for someone else was extremely odd, especially considering that Kimimaro didn't seem to be under any contract… also no Kaguya showed even their employers respect. Having Kimimaro use –sama when referring to Orochimaru showed him that Kimimaro had no relationship with his clan any longer.

Kimimaro wordlessly lifted his hand and fired more finger bullets at Itachi, but now with his Sharingan on Itachi was able to avoid them easily and get to Kimimaro's blindside. Kimimaro's head jerked around to see Itachi's finger's by his mouth, a jutsu at the ready, 'He's so fast. He's still faster than me, and his hand speed is impeccable. I never saw him make a single hand-seal.'

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)!" Itachi fired a close-range fireball directly at Kimimaro that hit him head on. Itachi simply kept pouring more and more chakra into the attack, eventually causing a small crater from the power and intensity of the fireball, 'Survive that.' He thought, just before he felt something slam into him from within the fires he had created.

"Karamatsu no Mai (Dance of the Larch)!" Kimimaro flew out of the fire, spinning around rapidly. Itachi avoided getting hit, but glared at Kimimaro harshly as he looked at the young man's damage count. Itachi saw that his clothes were mostly burned to a crisp, and much of his skin was in a similar state. There were even parts of his skin that had been seared clean off due to Itachi's fire. Muscle and tendons were clearly visible and burned intensely… however Kimimaro's voice showed little to no inflection of pain or discomfort, even as his every motion let off a sound of skin and muscle being forced past the limits of what their injury should have allowed them, "I won't die so easily."

As he said that, his cursed seal began to encompass even more of his body. Kimimaro's skin began to turn dark grey and six large bones protruded from his back to go with a long spiked bone tail, "Now it is time for you to fall Itachi Uchiha. My power is multiplied in this form."

"Clearly." Itachi said, shutting his eyes again, "And I cannot let this battle continue any longer." He said, not shaken at all at Kimimaro's new form despite its rather imposing appearance, "You are truly talented, but if you are here for my brother and you are in the employ of Orochimaru you cannot win here. I am sorry, but you will bear witness to something only one other living person besides myself has seen. Naruto-kun is the only person that has seen this because he was there when I first received it." He opened his eyes to reveal that his Sharingan pattern now took the form of a solid black three-sided pinwheel instead of the normal three tomoe that usually comprised it, "This is my Mangekyou Sharingan (Kaleidoscope Copy Wheel Eye)."

"I see." Kimimaro said, waving his tail behind him calmly, "What do you plan to do with this new power, you can never penetrate my skeletal structure so how could you win?" Kimimaro settled himself back into a stance right his right arm set back in a prepared punching motion as he used his left arm to reach at the back of his neck, "Tessenkai no Mai: Tsuru (Dance of the Clemantis: Vine)." Kimimaro pulled out his own spinal column and held it as if it were a flexible chain staff. The vertebrae were sharp and had elongated points on them.

Itachi didn't care that Kimimaro didn't seem concerned with his Sharingan's new appearance, he didn't know how much trouble he was really in, "This is a power in my clan that is a rather lost practice to obtain. I did it by accident to be quite honest with you."

"Accidental power doesn't seem that threatening." Kimimaro quipped, snapping his chain staff around to get the feel for his weapon, "I have given myself to Orochimaru-sama and he rewarded me with the power of his Cursed Seal of Earth. There was nothing accidental about my strength."

Once again, Itachi failed to rise to Kimimaro's doubts of his power. Had it really been that long since Itachi had beaten someone that had gotten huge news coverage for it? "You were able to put those flames out from before." Itachi said about the fire that Kimimaro had managed to survive, though how he did Itachi had no idea whatsoever, "Let's see if you can put _these_ flames out. Amaterasu (Illuminating Heaven)." Itachi's right eye widened slightly and before Kimimaro knew it his body had caught ablaze, only this time the fire was black.

'What are these?' Kimimaro questioned as the flames were infinitely more intense than the fire that he had been immersed in before. Every nerve ending in his body was being charred to numbness, burned so intensely that he couldn't even feel the pain anymore.

"You will not put these flames out." Itachi said resolutely, "Water will not work, and these flames will burn until they reduce the target to mere ash. The fires from hell as hot as the sun itself. My Amaterasu; the most powerful fire-based ninjutsu in existence."

Kimimaro fell to the ground, his muscles now more or less nonexistent as the fires had done just as Itachi had said they would do, had burned them to ash, and now his organs were getting the brunt of the effects through his bones, "O-Orochimaru-sama…"

Itachi shut his eyes as sweat started beading down his face slightly, 'It still drains me so heavily…' He thought to himself. Kimimaro's advanced cursed seal state slowed him down to the extent that delivering a direct hit with Amaterasu was child's play. He was already shirtless so having nothing to keep the flames away from his actual body sealed his fate. He simply stood there patiently as he allowed himself to accurately confirm his kill of Kimimaro before finally attempting to extinguish the flames that had trickled away from Kimimaro's body while it had been burning onto the ground.

After painstakingly quelling the flames of his creation, Itachi hunched over and began breathing heavily, "No one can learn of the Mangekyou Sharingan… anyone that sees it has to be silenced. If anyone in my clan were to find out that I have it too many questions would fly about. At least the secret is safe with Naruto-kun."

He looked over Kimimaro's remains. All that was left of him was his skeleton. Itachi frowned and picked the corpse up, his original plan to stay up all night was ruined and he'd be up until sunrise bringing Kimimaro's remains to autopsy at his police station. With any luck he'd be back by breakfast and maybe he could still get into some of the family act of grilling Sasuke on what he had been up to for the last few months.

XxX

(The Next Day – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Kakashi, Rin, and Obito walked into their office early in the morning to find Naruto sprawled out on his back, sleeping directly on one of the desks there shirtless, covered in dry blood mostly caking his arms and hands under his nails, and smelling slightly of cleaning supplies. The three long-time partners stared at each other before Obito walked over to Naruto and grabbed his nose, holding it shut in an effort to wake him up. All this managed to do was force Naruto to mouth-breathing which forced him to snoring loudly, getting a sweatdrop out of all three elder mercenaries.

Rin walked over and shoved Obito away so that she could stroke his cheek and try stirring him gently, "Wake up Naruto-kun… wake up now…" A tick mark formed on her head when he didn't even budge a hint, "You're sleeping on my desk damn it, wake up!" She said, clearing him off as if he were office clutter onto the floor.

"Ow…" Naruto moaned lowly picking himself up with help from the nearby desk he had been sleeping on, "So mean… can't you let me sleep. I had a long day yesterday and a shitty night."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, "And how shitty of a night are we talking about for you to wind up here sleeping in our office?"

Naruto's lips quirked in slight amusement as he answered, "How high on the shit-o-meter does having your house blow up in flames register as?" He quipped as he looked at the dry blood on his body, "Just so you all know, none of this is mine… I think."

Rin checked him over quickly to make sure he was alright, "What happened to you anyway? Who blew your apartment up? Was it another assassination attempt? Where's your shirt?" She kept asking him rapid-fire questions as her worry for him started becoming more and more evident with each one.

"I was attacked in my apartment by some guy that I think works with someone that was in my classes during the last week of school." Naruto began to explain as he started stretching himself out, "I'm not sure what it was meant to be really, I wound up blowing the apartment up myself by total accident, but it should be okay."

"How could it possibly be okay?" Kakashi wondered. There was no way Naruto would swallow his pride and move in with any of them… besides it was a bad idea anyway. He ran a very high risk of catching Kakashi and Rin in the act so to speak as well as vice-versa with Naruto and Kyuubi among other potential happenings, and he would probably wind up murdering Obito in his sleep if he stayed with him. Obito just had that kind of sparkling personality, "What in the world are you going to do?"

Naruto waved off his concern, "I didn't have anything in that apartment other than what I had in my bag that was worth anything, and I was going to move out soon anyway into a new place, one more girlfriend-friendly. Now's perfect since she should still be out of town so I can keep her dad from finding out where I go." He then laughed evilly, "It's going to be so awesome! I was going to get up early and see if I could pay off a few month's rent on the one I liked the most today and just move right in."

Obito scratched his head in a puzzled manner as Naruto continued to cackle rather evilly, "You know, you're taking the whole 'I-got-attacked-in-the-dead-of-night-and-got-my-house-blown-up' thing really well runt. I'm kind of proud of you."

Naruto shrugged, "I'm different. I've got a different bodily make-up Obito-nii. I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I've got tiger-blood man."

"Aww." Rin cooed as she grabbed Naruto and pulled her close to him in a hug as she rubbed the back of his head gently. Before he could even really start to enjoy it she then held him at arm's length and glared at him, "If anything like this ever happens again and you _don't _call me or one of us I'm going to surgically implant a cell phone into your forearm so you never forget, understood?"

Kakashi looked at a mortified Naruto in amusement as he spoke to his wife, "That's a little extreme don't you think Rin?"

"No." She replied honestly, "Naruto-kun is like my baby brother. He's like family. And if you're a part of my family I will love you violently!" Rin finished with a pump of her fist and a look of determination on her face that got Naruto to back off a few steps.

Obito stood nearby Kakashi as both of them blinked at her previous action. The black sheep Uchiha leaned over to his friend and whispered, "Yeah… you can really see the whole Kushina-sensei influence more and more in her these days."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, "Absolutely. Still… My wife is hot."

"Never said she wasn't." Obito hastily conceded in agreement only to get a side glare from Kakashi, "What I was just agreeing with you, damn..."

Rin then paid attention to the bloodstains on Naruto and the smell of industrial cleaning supplies wafting from him, "You need a shower Naruto-kun."

Naruto looked at himself and frowned, "Yeah, I know. Too bad there's nowhere to go until I get my new place. It comes with all of the utilities and everything so the first thing I do after I sign my name and fork over the cash."

"Who's going to rent an apartment out to a stinky, bloody kid?" Obito asked him jokingly.

Naruto gave him a deadpan look as he responded, "Someone with common sense that will realize that the question they should be asking isn't should they let me live there; it would be why am I bloody, what did a kid like me do to get the money to pay pretty much a year of my rent in advance, and does it have something to do with the blood?" Naruto then started putting his shoes on and threw his bookbag over his back, "But I guess you guys are right. I know where I can go to take a shower."

"Where are you going to go?" Kakashi asked, "It's Monday so you should be reporting to Jiraiya-sama today. It better not be too far away."

Naruto began walking out of the office and yawning, "It won't be. I'm just going somewhere to shower and get some decent sleep. Desks aren't as comfortable as I remember they were when I was a little kid. I'll be back in time to deal with Ero-sennin's training this afternoon."

XxX

(3 Hours Later – Kyuubi's House)

The front door of the well-to-do home opened up as Kyuubi and her parents walked in, returning home from their trip in Tsuki no Kuni. Setting her suitcase down in the living room, Kyuubi's mother Setsuna took a seat on the couch and sighed, "What a long trip…" She looked over at her daughter that had just walked in behind her and her father, "I hope it wasn't too boring for you all by yourself for most of the time sweetie." She said to Kyuubi.

"It was fine." She replied, "I was the one that asked to go, remember?"

Setsuna smirked as her daughter started heading down the hall towards her room, "You asked at first because you thought that Naruto-kun would be going too."

"My ass that boy would be going…" Isshin muttered as he headed towards the kitchen to get a drink, "I'd have killed him."

"You wouldn't have done anything." Setsuna insisted with a roll of her eyes.

Kyuubi shook her head and continued towards her room, "I guess I do miss him pretty bad." She admitted to herself as she reached her door, "I'm even thinking that I can smell his scent right now. It's embarrassing to have it that bad…" She let out a small laugh as she opened her door only to gasp at what she saw.

Naruto was laying in her bed in his boxers asleep. Kyuubi walked in and shut the door behind her before whispering, "How in the hell did he get in here? Why is he even here?" She could have woken him up and gotten the answers straight from him, but from the serene look on his face she would have figured it to be a crime to wake him up right then. So with a small smile on her lips she kicked her sandals off and climbed into bed with him, setting her head on his chest as he unconsciously grabbed onto her and muttered her name, "I guess you missed me too Naru-kun."

"…I had your scent when you walked through the door…" Naruto said quietly as he held his face against the top of her head, taking comfort in her presence once more.

Kyuubi kept her smile on her face as she let him hold her, "Why are you here?"

"My house blew up." He said plainly without tact, getting a gasp out of her, "Needed a place to take a shower and nap, I hope you don't mind."

"Who did it?" She asked him, she knew he was on a mission but as far as he knew his house didn't have a single thing to do with it, "Oh Kami, I'm sorry. What are you going to do? Are you hiding here from someone?"

"It's okay." Naruto assured her before she could panic or freak out over it, "I was going to try and move anyway. This just forced me to get my butt into gear to do it. Don't worry about it."

Kyuubi frowned but didn't say a word. His house was blown up and he told her not to worry? What was she supposed to do? And then she had a thought about why he wanted her to just forget about it that explained everything perfectly, "You blew it up yourself didn't you?" She asked him in a deadpan tone of voice.

Naruto replied sheepishly, "Well, I was in a fight at the time, but I will admit that a badly aimed fireball was what caused the explosion."

"Of course it did…" Kyuubi said, shaking her head. And here for a minute she had been thinking that someone actually planted something in his apartment to blow it up. Still, he admitted that he was fighting so that meant that someone was after him again, which was still unnerving to her, "Why are people after you? I don't hear about anyone else going after other mercenaries like you?"

"It's because I'm still killable." Naruto explained to her, getting a confused look, "Older operatives already proved that they're tough to kill and by now because of the stuff I already did people know that I'm dangerous, but they don't know to stay away. Killing me while I'm still weak would solve tons of problems in the future, so certain PMC's higher-ups would try to do it." He then shook his head, "But this wasn't another attack like before. I think the guy I fought last night has something to do with Sai."

That guy again. Kyuubi bared her teeth slightly at being reminded of the strange boy they had fought not too long ago, "How do you know it was someone associated with him?"

Naruto wriggled his nose as if he were having a flashback, "Both of them had a certain kind of scent. Sai smelled like ink and something else, and the other guy just smelled like the something else. The something else was disinfectant… I don't know any one person that ever smells like that, so having two people with that particular scent is kind of hard-off to be a coincidence. He had the tanto like Sai had too."

Kyuubi made a 'hmm' noise, signifying that she understood the situation, "So what are we going to do about this?"

Naruto smirked at her, "I'm going to keep doing my job, and bully Ero-sennin into teaching me a jutsu in exchange for that bum-ass mission I just did yesterday; way too much trouble for nowhere near enough pay. And then I'm going to somehow find that pasty bastard Sai and shake him down by any means necessary to find out what the fuck he and his friends want with me." He then poked her lightly on the nose, "You, on the other hand, are going to keep your sexy little backside out of it and enjoy your summer."

His response was Kyuubi biting the finger he used to poke her, and with her sharp canines he could swear he almost lost the damn thing as he held back a yelp of pain. It wouldn't do for her father Isshin to notice that something was seriously off in his house and have him wind up noticing Naruto's faint scent the way Kyuubi did. It didn't take long for her to let go of his finger that she had indeed broken the skin on him with her bite, "Make me."

Surprisingly, the sound of her tone was actually rather sultry, and that put a huge grin on Naruto's face, "I can do that you know. I can make it so you can't even walk, let alone follow me around. It sounds bad, but you'd enjoy it at the time though."

"Oh Naru-kun…" Kyuubi said, pushing him directly onto his back as she climbed right on top of him to straddle his waist. If the feeling of her slowly grinding herself against his pelvis and all of his front attachments that came with it wasn't enough to get him excited then the sight of her slowly licking the little amount of blood that she had drawn from biting him from her lips did, "If you think you have what it takes to actually fuck me so that I can't walk then you've obviously forgotten about the regeneration or you've picked up something new while I was gone. Either way I'd love for you to try it."

Naruto rolled her over, getting a pleasantly surprised squeak out of her as he put his mouth down by her ear, "You know, I think I'd like to try it too." He said with a growl before biting her earlobe lightly, forcing her to giggle as she ran her hands over his bare back. They began kissing when Naruto's nose twitched and he pulled away from her, looking towards the door in fear, kicking himself as he seemed to forget where he was and who else was there at the moment.

Before Kyuubi could ask him what the matter was, her door flew open and Isshin stuck his head through with a glare before sniffing the air, "I smell blood, fear, shame, and ramen. Where is he?" He asked, referring to Naruto.

Kyuubi blinked and looked around only to find that Naruto had somehow vanished in between the time it took for her to look away from him and at the door and for the door to actually open, 'Wow… fast.' Thinking quickly to come up with an excuse, she noticed Naruto's clothes nearby on the floor, "I made Naru-kun leave a set of his clothes here the last time he came over so that I could wash them for him. I guess we left before I could do it." She said, picking them up and shoving them in her dad's face hoping that the scent would overload his senses and keep him from actually searching for Naruto who was still somewhere in the room.

Isshin recoiled at the overwhelming scent of the clothes that Naruto had worn all yesterday during his mission and during the fight in his house, "Well… throw them into the washing machine, don't choke me to death on them dear." He then exited the room and shut the door back behind him.

Kyuubi sighed in relief and looked around her room for where Naruto was, gasping at what may have been possible, "Did he finally learn how to do Kitsune no Manto (Fox Cloak)?" She said lowly in an excited manner. She thought it had been hopeless with that technique, like he would never pick it up.

"Pssht." Kyuubi heard from somewhere in her room in a derisive manner, "Yeah right. I still suck at illusions Kyuu-chan." In a puff of smoke, one of the many pillows on her spacious bed transformed into Naruto, "I forgot I knew how to do this move." He said in a satisfied voice.

Kyuubi blinked and walked back over to him, plopping down on her bed as she tried to comprehend what had just happened, "So you can't turn yourself invisible with Kitsune no Manto, but you can turn yourself into a pillow. How?"

"Because it's not an illusion like Kitsune no Manto is." Naruto answered her, "That's actually the very first jutsu I learned how to do. I stopped using it because I thought just hitting people in the face would be more useful than turning into stuff. That's what that does; lets me turn into other stuff. A physical transformation; Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Jutsu)." Kyuubi gave him a dry look that made him tilt his head at her in confusion, "What's wrong?"

"How do you forget that you had the ability to turn into other stuff?" She asked him, really wanting to know how the hell he managed to do that.

Naruto lightly tapped his head with his fist three times, "I have taken a ton of hits to the head since I learned the jutsu when I was nine. It's a miracle that I can still even write my own signature."

Kyuubi sighed and kissed him on the cheek, "So sweet, so crazy, and so dumb… I love you Naru-kun."

"I love you too?" He said, in response, not sure if he should be offended or what. He then grabbed his pants from her and fished his cell phone from his pocket to check the time, "Okay, I need to go and get my new place. I'll call you tonight after I'm done training okay?"

Kyuubi nodded and stood up as Naruto shoved his legs through his pants to put them on and search for his shoes and socks, "Seeing as how your house blew up, that means you have no clothes, right?"

"Nothing but the stuff I've got on right now." Naruto confirmed for her. And the stuff he had on included his goggles, his backpack, his orange pair of shorts, his socks, and his white high-top sneakers… because that was all he was able to get out before his apartment was engulfed in flames. Thinking about what he lost forced Naruto to stop and drop to his knees in anguish, "No! I had a cabinet full of ramen that I never got to get into! It's all gone, you maniacs blew it all up!"

Kyuubi's eye twitched, "You were the one that blew it up."

"Right." Naruto said, immediately snapping out of his grief, "I blew it all up. And I keep hearing people call me stuff like maniac, or sociopath, or whatever, so why not?"

"Be that as it may…" Kyuubi said, walking around her bed to get to him, "I'm going to go get you some clothes to replace the ones you lost." She smiled when Naruto immediately, without pulled out his wallet and gave her his card, "Good boy. Now what colors do you want?"

"Orange." He said without hesitation, getting her to palm her face.

"I knew that." Kyuubi said, trying to rephrase what she meant, "What _other_ colors?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't really care." He admitted, "Whatever you get me I'm sure I'll like. Just… don't break the bank on this one Kyuu-chan. Chances are, I'm going to have to pay damages on my old place and I need to check my balance and see what I've got left."

"You have around nineteen million ryo left in your account." Kyuubi told him, looking at her nails. When she noticed Naruto staring at her she blushed, "What? The only time you really spend money is when you're with me. Doing the math of how much you make and how much you have left whenever we do anything isn't that hard to do." When he didn't stop staring at her she let out a huff, "Fine, call your bank and find out that way, but you'll just be wasting everyone's time."

Naruto didn't do that. He grabbed her wrist and firmly deposited his check card into her hand, showing that he trusted what she said on the matter, "Use debit, not credit. The pin number is-."

"-1835." Kyuubi finished for him, "I've seen it too many times already to forget it."

"Right…" Naruto said before heading over to her window and carefully opening it before starting to slip out of it, "Well I've tried my luck here for long enough, I'm out of here."

Kyuubi quickly bounded over to the window with him, "Where did you park the bike? I didn't even see it around anywhere when we came in?"

Naruto scoffed and rolled his eyes, "That thing isn't in half a mile of this place. I parked it and walked here. I'm not that bad that I'd get busted so easily. Who parks in front of the place they're sneaking into? I wouldn't pull a rookie move like that even if I was ten."

"I wouldn't know since I'm not a hooligan Naru-kun." Kyuubi said before giving him a kiss on the lips and pushing him the rest of the way out of the window to coax him to leave, "Call me later when you have your new place and come get me so I can give you your clothes… Ooh! And I want to help you shop for furniture!" She yelled with her eyes sparkling at the prospect, waving at him excitedly.

"Fine, now stop yelling before your dad finds me and tries to beat the crap out of me!" Naruto said before he started hopping fences and running through yards to get to his motorcycle parked elsewhere, "Bye Kyuu-chan! Tell your mom I said hi!"

XxX

(Two Hours Later)

"You're my hero." Sasuke said to Naruto as he walked down the street with both the blonde and Kiba, whom Naruto had conscripted to engage in acts of debauchery for the early portions of the day, "I thought I would never get out of that living room in one piece."

Naruto snickered. When he and Kiba had made it to Sasuke's house to steal some clothes for Naruto to wear for the day and to retrieve Sasuke himself, it was evident that Sasuke was in dire straits so to speak. The youngest Uchiha was sweating bullets and facing down his father and surprisingly intimidating mother in addition to Itachi as they essentially scolded him for getting involved in something like his re-opening of the Orochimaru investigations and not telling them. It almost hurt Naruto and Kiba's hearts to put a stop to the brow-beating so they could abscond with him for the day.

"Where's this bike you keep telling us you have?" Kiba said to Naruto as he walked alongside Akamaru, not believing that the formerly penniless blonde had one when he didn't even have a car and wouldn't even dream of getting one until he turned sixteen and got his actual license.

"How are all three of us going to fit on a single motorcycle? Unless you're into that kind of thing." Naruto said, getting a paled look from Kiba, "That's why it's parked safely… somewhere." He scratched his head, "I forgot where I put it." He said in a nonchalant voice.

Sasuke palmed his face, "For Kami's sake, he lost his own bike…"

Naruto glared at him, "I didn't lose anything. It's just not here." He ignored both Kiba and Sasuke snickering at him and pointed at an apartment building, "Who cares about that right now? That's the place right there."

Sasuke looked over at a rather upscale-looking nine-story apartment complex, "So you're going to move into this place? It definitely looks like a step up from your old place."

"How do you blow up your own house?" Kiba asked Naruto in bewilderment, "My mom got a good kick out of hearing that one from you. You burned your apartment straight to hell, ha!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "If I had a jar, a stick to stir, some lighter fluid, and some powdered sugar I could make ghetto napalm in twenty minutes." He cast a cold look over at Kiba, "I know you have all of that stuff in your house right now Kiba, and I can sneak into just about anywhere. Want me to show you how I blew my own house up?"

"No, I'm cool…" Kiba said, averting his eyes away from Naruto's. Even Akamaru subtly placed his body on the other side of his master, using Kiba's body as a buffer between him and Naruto.

"That's what the fuck I thought." Naruto muttered, mechanically flicking a blue fireball on and off in his hand in a threatening manner. Who was Kiba to crack jokes on him? He could blow up his own house if he wanted to… Not that he actually wanted to blow it up of course, but still... the principle was still there.

"Threatening our friends aside…" Sasuke said, diverting attention towards him, "Are we going to go in or what?"

Naruto's mood swung again and he led them over towards the front doors of the complex with a bright gait, "Yeah, let's go in so I can snatch up the coolest apartment they've got."

Sasuke shook his head and snapped his fingers in front of Kiba's face to get him to snap out of his trance, "Come on. Let's go see if this place is all it's cracked up to be."

Kiba followed along behind Sasuke and Naruto while scratching his head, "Remind me why I hang out with you guys again?"

Sasuke smirked, "Because the alternative right now is Shikamaru and Chouji and they would only do one or two things all day long."

"True." Kiba conceded as they walked in and saw Naruto standing inside of an office to the side of the lobby, gleefully ringing a bell at the desk there.

"Oi!" Naruto shouted in high spirits, "I'd like to rent out an apartment here, I know someone is here already! Help a kid down on his luck out why don't you?"

"There's no need to shout. Why? Because I already heard you ringing the bell and was on my way back here." A teenage boy their age with bushy brown hair and sunglasses walked past them into the office. He wore a light green long-sleeved button-up shirt that was buttoned up all the way and had the collar turned up to almost obscure the bottom part of his face from view. He took a seat at the desk and looked up at Naruto, "So you are here to obtain a place to stay Naruto-san?"

Naruto, Kiba, and Sasuke all looked at each other before turning back to the person at the desk when Naruto spoke, "You know my name?" He asked rather incredulously.

"It would only be natural for me to know of my own classmates names." The reply came from the person.

Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Which class?"

"All of them." That answer surprised Naruto. How did he not know that this guy was in all of his classes, "All of them except study hall. Why? Because I am not so lazy as to sign up for that 'class'."

Naruto stared at the boy hard enough to squint his eyes at him before slowly lifting his finger to point at him, "And… who exactly are you? You don't really ring a bell."

"Shino Aburame…" The boy said with a sigh, "And I suppose I wouldn't with all of the things that you get into during school hours Naruto-san."

Kiba elbowed Naruto in the side, "How did you not know that this guy was in all of your classes? I mean, eventually the point would have come up when you kept seeing him, right?"

Naruto rubbed the spot where he took the elbow shot, "Lay off. The only reason I didn't ditch school on a regular basis was because of Kyuu-chan, and the only reason I know you guys enough to talk to you is because I've known everyone I actually talk to in school for years." He turned to Shino, "I don't think we've ever even said two words to each other." A smirk then came over his face, "But… if you or your family are my landlords then I guess we're going to be talking a whole lot more." He stuck his hand out for Shino to shake, "Nice to meet you."

Shino stared at Naruto's hand tentatively before reaching out and getting a hardy shake for his troubles, "Yes, well you said that you wished to see one of our apartments?"

"Yep." Naruto said, drawing his hand back and placing it and his other one behind his neck, "The best one you've got too if you could. Top floor!"

Shino looked through a notebook, reading along with his finger before stopping on something, "The best apartment you say? I think I've got what you're looking for." He stood up and walked out of the room, "Follow me please." Naruto rubbed his hands together in anticipation as Shino hit the button outside of his office for the elevator, "I'm sure you won't be disappointed with this Naruto-san."

XxX

(Uchiha Main House)

Itachi, just as he had been doing the night previous, sat on the roof of the house looking out at the backyard when he felt his father come up to the roof and stand beside him, "Yes father, can I help you?"

"So…" Fugaku said, looking out on the scenery his own son was partaking in, "What do you believe we should do?" He asked Itachi.

"You're the chief of police." Itachi replied, not taking his eyes off of the landscape, "Isn't this your decision?"

Fugaku shook his head with a smirk, "Itachi, both of us know that you're stronger than I am. Stop acting as if you aren't."

Itachi let a ghost of a smile cross his lips, "Maybe so, but you're still my superior aren't you? You're the one that's supposed to be in charge."

Fugaku pat his son on the shoulder, "Maybe for right now, but you should know good and well that when I decide to quit you're the one that's getting my job next. Sasuke would be safer with you figuring out how things should be done than me, and don't act like that's not what you want anyway."

Itachi let out a short chuckle, "I suppose I'll keep training Sasuke all through the summer. By fall his improvement should be extensive enough for him to be left alone at school, especially since Naruto-kun will be there as well to make sure he's safe."

Fugaku frowned but nodded. He may not have liked Naruto very much at all, but it was evident that he and his sons were friends and that both Sasuke and Itachi trusted him. It was clear by now that he was also quite loyal to his sons as friends and even his wife Mikoto for the kindness she showed him regularly, "And if another move is made?"

"Between myself, Naruto-kun, and Sasuke five of Orochimaru's operatives were eradicated by all of us." Itachi explained, "This has bought us some time, but if we had been able to get one of them to pump for information that would have been better." He turned his head towards his father and looked up at him, "What does he want with the Sharingan? And why move now instead of all of those years ago? He could have captured an Uchiha back then, and why is he after Sasuke in particular now?"

Fugaku sighed, "I couldn't tell you… but all we can do is be ready and find things out as they come to us." He walked towards the edge of the roof and jumped down to the ground below to go back inside, "I'm heading to the station, if anything comes up call me or drop by my precinct."

Itachi nodded wordlessly and let his father get out of sight, waiting until he heard the engine of the car out front rev as it left the parking lot, "I wonder if I could ask Obito-ojisan to help? He has to have someone that knows more about this personally than we do in his company."

XxX

(The Northern Part of the Bowery – With Naruto, Kiba, and Sasuke)

Naruto, Kiba, and Sasuke stared in awe at what they were seeing as they stepped outside of the elevator. When Naruto said he wanted to see the best place that Shino and his family had in this apartment complex none of them saw this coming.

Though when they saw Shino flip through keys in the elevator and stick it into a slot just for them to get to the top floor where the apartment sat they should have expected something like this.

"Dude…" Kiba said as he looked around, "Are you serious? Are you really going to buy this place?"

"Yes…" Naruto said with a firm look on his face, "Yes I am. I want this apartment right now Shino. I don't care how much it is to rent. Give me a number and I will pay it and give you over a year's rent right now."

The entire top floor of the building belonged to Naruto to do with as he pleased. The rooms were large and spacious and Naruto had no clue what he was going to do to fill them up. He supposed that he had one large living room that moved into a kitchen area, much like his old place only cranked up to ten on the awesome-meter, to go along with four different bedrooms, an office, and two bathrooms; one master bath connected to the master bedroom that gave Naruto a nosebleed once he saw the tub and shower and had thoughts of certain adult activities with Kyuubi.

In addition to this, there were stairs that went up a level to a small sunroom area that led outside onto a large balcony that took up a quarter of what should have been the roof overlooking the nine story apartment complex. Penthouse style.

Shino wrote something down in a notebook on a piece of paper and ripped it out, handing it over to Naruto, "This is the rent charged every other month."

Naruto looked it over and nodded, Kiba and Sasuke moved behind him and looked at it as well before Kiba's jaw dropped. Sasuke's didn't because he still had tons of money from gambling on himself and Naruto at the fight club while they were looking for Tsunade, and he knew Naruto had made far more than him. Just how much more he was never told, "So much money." Kiba moved in front of Naruto, "Why do you have so much money?"

"Because I work hard, gamble hard, and invest hard." Naruto said as he fished around in his backpack and pulled out a checkbook with toad designs on the checks. He filled it out and ripped it from the checkbook, "This is enough for a year of rent in this place."

Shino took the check and tilted his sunglasses on his face before pocketing the check, "Very well Naruto-san." He said before extending his own hand, "I'm looking forward to having you as a tenant." He handed Naruto the key to access this floor on the elevator and the key to get to that floor from the stairs.

"No you aren't." Naruto said as he gladly accepted the things from Shino, "I'll call you up here sometime to hang out once I get everything together… it's going to be so cool." He started running around the place and stopped in the living room looking at a large, blank wall, " I wonder how big they make flat-screen TV's… Meh, I can probably get a stolen one for the cheap. And then Tenten can get me free DirecTV!"

"Stolen?" Kiba said questioningly, looking at Sasuke.

Sasuke started listing things on his fingers, "Let's see… Itachi's laptop that he got him for his birthday two years ago, the weights I'm wearing right now, the game console he had in his old house, his old TV… yeah, most of his stuff he bought stolen. I don't even really care anymore at this point."

Shino went over to the elevator and was about to step inside when he turned around, "It was nice to speak with all of you. I hope you all decide to stop by again soon, and I hope that Naruto-san is happy with where he'll be living." He said, pointing over to the newest tenant in the building.

Naruto was standing in the middle of the living room with his arms outstretched, "Opulence… I has it." He said to no one in particular, "I like the best… but I also likes savings the moneys… so when Tenten offered to hook up my TV with free premium televisions package…" He stopped and gave everyone a serious look, "I jump in it…" He then blinked and looked around, "Fuck, I need some kind of tiny mascot in here or something."

Shino pointed to the left, "If you ever require my help or the help of my family, we live in the home next door to the apartments." He then found a card flicked into his hand that had Naruto's cell phone number on it.

"Call anytime." Naruto said nonchalantly, "Everyone else does. Later Shino."

Shino stepped inside of the elevator and gave one short wave to everyone else before the doors closed behind him. Sasuke smirked and looked around Naruto's new digs, "This place is too cool for you dobe. What are you going to do with this place?"

Naruto shrugged, "Whatever I damn well please." He grinned and looked at Kiba, "So what do you think Inu-teme?"

Kiba pointed firmly at Naruto and scratched Akamaru behind the ears, "You have all of those rooms and you only need one. You're letting me crash here when I want to."

"How about no." Naruto said, deflating Kiba's hopes, "One room is mine, one is for guests, one is maybe for the Deputy here if he chimes in on paying my rent and when he's not here it would be for guests." Sasuke quickly raised his hand signifying that he was totally on board for that idea considering the fact that he probably wouldn't be getting much more privacy at his home, "If you could pay part of my rent too then I'd let you keep a room here, but if you can't…" He left the end of his statement up in the air.

Kiba kneeled down on the ground with dark clouds over his head, "I don't have any money… There's no way I could even pay a part of what this place is worth…" Akamaru pawed at him from the side and whined to try and cheer him up, "Mom and sis were right, I am a bum."

Naruto walked over and jerked Kiba back to his feet by his collar, "Then go and get a job. You're 15. It's high time you start contributing to society like me and Deputy." He then pulled out his phone and looked at it, going wide eyed once he saw the time, "And speaking of working, I need to go to work right now. Now get the fuck out of my house!" He yelled, pointing at the door that led to the stairs. Akamaru got a tick mark on his head from Naruto's tone of voice and jumped up to bite and latch onto Naruto's forearm, "Gah! Get him off of my arm before I throw him off the balcony!"

Kiba grabbed Akamaru and forced the dog to let go of Naruto's arm, "Yeah, we're going to stay here for a bit and keep looking at your badass new place because I don't feel like going home."

Sasuke then chimed in, "And I'm not going home until I absolutely have to."

Naruto walked to the stairs and muttered to himself before relenting, "Fine… make sure that if you leave by the time I get back you lock the damn door and the fence in front of the elevator."

XxX

(Two Hours Later – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Naruto had managed to get himself into the air ducts of the building and had managed to maneuver his way through them as he tried to sneak into Jiraiya's living quarters. From his experience, Jiraiya was mostly sleeping whenever he showed up to train with him. Well this time he was going to sneak up on him while he was asleep and punch him directly in the face. Either that or tie him up and torment him until he decided to give up and teach Naruto something. Whichever one seemed more satisfying at the time; hey if he played his cards right he might have been able to do both.

Naruto smirked to himself as he silently crept through the air ducts when he found himself stuck fast, "What the-?"

The metal ducts began to turn into a fleshy substance that began to engulf Naruto completely and suck him into the floor as the boy yelled and tried to free himself, but his arms and legs were stuck first before anything else, "What kind of fucked up defense system is this?" He said to himself as he found himself completely sucked into the floor of the air ducts turned insides of something.

XxX

Jiraiya sat in the middle of the dojo area of his quarters that he trained with Naruto in and had a smirk on his face as he could hear loud banging in the air ducts, letting him know that Naruto was caught in his trap. The kid hadn't done a bad job at all at sneaking in through the roof… it kind of made him want to get someone to fix that shit up before it destroyed them all, because there was no defense system, just this. The fact was, he had been meditating and had sensed Naruto the second he touched the roof.

"Kuchiyose: Gamaguchi Shibari (Summoning: Toad Mouth Bind)." He said to himself as the ceiling of the dojo turned into the same fleshy substance that Naruto had been caught in before it spewed Naruto out dropping him face-first on the floor, "Welcome back."

Naruto hopped to his feet and saw the ceiling return to normal before pointing at Jiraiya, not quite knowing what to say about what he had just experienced, "Don't ever do that to me again. I don't even want to know what just happened."

Jiraiya chuckled before getting to his feet and cracking his joints out, "So are you ready for your asswhupping?"

"I've got a better idea." Naruto said with a twitching eyebrow, "How about you actually hold off on beating the shit out of me and toss me a new jutsu?"

"Why would I do that?" Jiraiya asked him.

Naruto then smirked, "Because Tsunade-baa was reading the mission reports when I got here and wrote mine out really quick to give to her instead of you…" Jiraiya paled considerably, "And she should have finished about thirty seconds ago since sneaking all the way down here took twenty minutes." And right on cue a massive banging noise rang out on Jiraiya's huge double-doors at the front of the living quarters, "Good luck with that."

Jiraiya looked from the way to the front door to Naruto, "What's it going to take for you to calm her down?"

"A jutsu." Naruto reiterated, "Because I got paid shit for the last mission. 5000 ryo that I had to split for any kind of mission is shit. It was a waste of my day. I made twice that much back when I was outsourced missions."

Another loud set of bangs forced Jiraiya's brain into hyper-drive, "Fine! I have a jutsu for you to learn, just call her off when she comes in here or no deal."

"I'll do my best Ero-sennin." Naruto said as he left the room to go and open the front door, leaving Jiraiya a cowering mess inside of the dojo. He opened the front door and gave Tsunade a beaming grin, "Hi Tsunade-baa, what's up?"

Tsunade dropped the scowl from her face when she saw Naruto and placed her hand on his cheek, "I'm just looking for that damned pervert. Is he in here brat?"

"Tsunade-hime!" Jiraiya said nervously as he finally gathered enough courage to face his fate whichever way it was meant to go and left the minute safety of the dojo, "How are you?"

She held up Naruto's filled-out mission report with a dry look on her face, "I just got through with some light reading from the brat here. 5000 ryo? No one here works for crap like that here. What makes you think that underpaying even a rookie is okay you cheap bastard? Especially one with no outside means of support."

"I'm glad you said that hime!" Jiraiya said, trying to come up with something good so that he didn't wind up splattered on the wall nearby, "I was going to teach him a high-class jutsu in exchange for going on that mission for Sarutobi-sensei."

'Sensei?' Naruto filed that one away for later reference, instead he was more interested in what jutsu Jiraiya was going to come up with to teach him. What would it be? He had used quite a few of them in his periodical beatdown sessions against him recently so it could be anyone's guess.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him, "It had better not be that transparency jutsu of yours, you remember what happened the last time you tried that around me don't you?" She said threateningly.

'You beat me to the point of near-death, how could I forget?' Jiraiya thought, backing up a step, "No, not that one. I was going to teach him… teach him…" Jiraiya repeated as he tried to think of something to teach him.

"You were going to teach him what exactly?" Tsunade said, tapping her foot on the ground expectantly as if to say it had better be good after what she had read had transpired in his report.

Jiraiya looked over at Naruto where his eyes lingered for a moment before smirking and crossing his arms in a satisfied manner, "I was going to teach him how to do the Rasengan." He said as if it had been the obvious answer the entire time.

Tsunade's eyes widened and panned over to Naruto for a second before returning to Jiraiya, her ill temperament now forgotten, "Well I guess that's more than good enough for him to learn for payment if he agrees to it." She looked over at Naruto expecting an answer from him.

He didn't know what the hell Rasengan was, but from how quickly Tsunade had switched moods it had to be something of a game-breaker, and would probably be good for him to know, "Uh, yeah. Sure, let's go with that. I don't know what that's going to do, but let's try it."

Jiraiya walked over to Naruto and patted his student on the head, "Kid trust me when I say you were born to learn this jutsu, and you can even train with it at home, no problem. You ready to start?"

Naruto grinned at the two older mercenaries, "Fine, let's get to work."

XxX

(Undisclosed Location in Konohagakure no Sato)

The masked man that Naruto fought last night bowed inside of a darkened office in front of a man sitting behind a desk. The man was of advanced age and wore bandages around his head and right eye as well as keeping his right arm concealed in a large brace that he kept in a large black sling. He had an 'x' scar on his chin and wore a black suit underneath a trench coat that was pulled back over his right shoulder to keep his right arm free from.

"Danzo-sama, Sai's previous report on the abilities of Naruto Uzumaki are well founded." The masked man said, bandages visible through his cloak where Naruto cut him deeply the previous night, "He has very dangerous abilities and it would be suggested that we keep an eye on him."

Danzo nodded, "Very good. You may leave." The masked man quickly vacated the premises, leaving Danzo alone with his own thoughts, "I assume it would serve my purposes to keep tabs on you Uzumaki. Sai mentioned your chakra having an odd taint to it, and the ethereal blue fire of yours was not from human chakra. Perhaps the source of your odd powers would do my ROOT good to have for itself."

* * *

Character Profile 19

Name: Anko Mitarashi

Nickname: Crazy Snake Lady/Bitch (by Naruto, and depending on her proximity to him and whether or not she is messing with him at the time), "The Super-Sexy and Single" Anko Mitarashi (self-given), Anko-sama (self-given).

Age: 22 (Birthday: October 24th)

Height/Weight: 5'4/Due to fear of poisonous snakes this could not be determined for publishing purposes

Special Skills/Traits: Quick reflexes, pinpoint aim with projectiles, good misdirection skills, high level of intimidation skills, several forbidden techniques, many snake-based techniques, brutal taijutsu style, slightly bloodthirsty personality, fun-loving demeanor, light brown pupil-less eyes, violet hair in a short spiky ponytail, an archaic Cursed Seal on the back of her neck.

Likes: Blood, sweet bean soup, dango, scaring the crap out of people, going on foreign missions, fighting, her breast size, sleeping in places she shouldn't, hazing rookies, tea, crashing company vehicles or vehicles that don't belong to her in general.

Dislikes: Spicy foods, Orochimaru, brash kids (i.e. brats), boring jobs and low-paying missions, paying money for just about anything, bigots, women with breasts larger than hers, men that attempt to ignore her breasts.

Theme Song: "Little Girls" by Say Anything.

Notes: Years ago, Anko was the apprentice of the fallen mercenary Orochimaru before his acts of treachery that led to him fleeing the country. After learning of her master's experiments on others she was captured and branded with Orochimaru's prototype Cursed Seal and was abandoned after the effects of the seal were made evident to its creator. This led to her being very bitter against Orochimaru and having a chip on her shoulder towards anyone exhibiting Orochimaru-like traits in her presence. Anko is a very easy-going young woman with a tomboyish, playful, and stubborn attitude. She is very proud of her naturally seductive appearance, actually taking offense when people go out of their way to ignore her sex-appeal. She enjoys her job and is very protective of her PMC Kaisha Hein, taking her missions very seriously and doing whatever needs to be done to accomplish them. Despite the home she has with her comrades, her overall dream in life is to find and kill Orochimaru, seeing it as her duty after what had been done to her and what she had seen as well as the fact that she was his student.

Quote: "Hello boys and girls! Meet the woman that will be killing you today! Now arriving: The Super-Sexy and Single Anko Mitarashi! Unfortunately for all of you this glorious sight will be the last thing the rest of you ever see!"

"Hey could you hold this knife for me? …In your stomach?"

"I hope you brought your wallet, 'cause the rent in hell gets paid in advance!"

"Yes, I'm a bitch, and I need to be calmed down all the time or else I get so mad I kill all of the cute little rookies on my squad."

"I love blood and violence and I've got a boner for murder! …Please forget I said that."

Character Profile 20

Name: Jiraiya

Nickname: Ero-sennin (by Naruto), The Most Depraved Man in Konoha, Boss (by his underlings in Kaisha Hein), A Visionary Once-In-A-Lifetime Author (self-given).

Age: 48 (Birthday: November 11th)

Height/Weight: 6'2/221 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Very long and spiky white hair tied back into a ponytail, red lines running down his face from his eyes, usually wearing a pair of geta no matter what, a self-proclaimed super-pervert, award-winning author, penny-pinching outlook on funds, flamboyant and showboating personality, immensely powerful fighter, well-versed in various types of ninjutsu as well as capable of using multiple elements, extremely deadly even with basic techniques, expert espionage skills, great with barriers and traps, ability to use toads in combat and for other assignments, good at taijutsu, impressive natural strength, mastery with fuuinjutsu, worldly-wise and deceptively studious.

Likes: Writing books, 'researching' for said books, any kind of food with garlic in it, toads, training hard-nosed brats with potential to be great, peeping on women, hitting on Tsunade, watching Naruto try to beat him up, hot women.

Dislikes: People with superiority complexes, prudes, getting caught peeping, getting beaten up after getting caught peeping, having to fund anything that goes on inside of Kaisha Hein, using weapons in fights, snakes, traitors, cracks at his age.

Theme Song: "Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi.

Notes: Jiraiya is the leader of the PMC Kaisha Hein based out of Konohagakure no Sato. An extremely experienced mercenary, Jiraiya has seen every aspect of life on the battlefield and has survived more than almost any other warrior alive. In his youth he formed a powerful team with Tsunade and Orochimaru, however Orochimaru's treacherous actions splintered the team and sent the three on their own paths. Jiraiya chose to take over the reins of the company and to this day is still the man in charge. He has something of a bitter feud against Salamander Hanzo after a meeting between his team and the man in question in his youth. He trained the last leader of the city, Minato Namikaze, before his death during the events of the Nenshou Ha no Yoru (Night of the Burning Leaf) And is still investigating the events of that night with his resources at hand. He directly helps fund Kaisha Hein through the large amounts of money that he regularly receives for his critically-acclaimed book series, Icha Icha.

Quote: "I'm grandiose, because I live a grandiose life. I'm not all 'aw shucks'… because I'm gnarly like that."

"I'm like Superman; I know when I'm needed."

"Oh you see, I'm actually allergic to things I don't want to do. *cough cough* See?"

"If love is blind then why is lingerie so popular?"

"We all know that I am twice the man you are and that I have half the brain that you do."

"So Tsunade-hime… I for one would love to see if that 'Legendary Sucker' nickname of yours has other connotations if you know what I mean. Yeah, I wish I could say that to her out loud…"

Character Profile 21

Name: Tsunade Senju

Nickname: Tsunade-hime (by Jiraiya and people that respect/fear her), Tsunade-baa (by Naruto), The Legendary Sucker, The Strongest Woman in the World.

Age: 48 (Birthday: August 2nd)

Height/Weight: 5'3/121 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Blonde hair in two pigtails, large (seriously fucking huge) bust size; 106 centimeters, diamond mark on her forehead, completely absurd raw strength, incredible durability, masterful skill with Henge no Jutsu, flawless chakra control, lightning element chakra, well-versed in fuuinjutsu, master of her own taijutsu style, the best medic in the world with the ability to cure the incurable, ability to utilize slugs in combat and for other tasks (this is rare to see), adept at barriers and other security measures, readily tough demeanor, compulsive gambler with downright shitty luck.

Likes: Shizune, Naruto, gambling, sake, obtaining easy money, helping her patients, sunrises, high places, watching daytime TV in her office, teasing the younger operatives, swimming.

Dislikes: Blood, Jiraiya, perverts in general, stubborn patients, insolent medics, losing bets, liver, people that besmirch Kaisha Hein's reputation.

Theme Song: "American Woman" by The Guess Who.

Notes: Tsunade is the granddaughter of the founder of Kaisha Hein and is currently the only living link to the founding family of the company, that alone would make her damn near royalty among the ranks even if the fact didn't exist that she was the single most effective female operative in the PMC's history before she retired due to her teammate Orochimaru's crimes against humanity and the death of her little brother and her lover; at the hands of Orochimaru by experimentation and killed in battle respectively. After two decades of keeping out of the business she was returned to Konoha due to the interest she had taken in Naruto Uzumaki. Despite the secrets she keeps from the young boy she does truly care for him and looks out for his well-being, wanting to see him succeed and live happily. Tsunade is world-renowned as the single best doctor that has existed period, and has created numerous techniques and procedures used by both medics and civilian doctors alike. Tsunade took Shizune under her wing as a medic in the girl's youth, and has a hobby of observing the skills of the doctors of today, hoping to find another one with raw talent to help along.

Quote: "Aw, I got blood all over my good shoes."

"I don't yell all of the time, only in the most crucial situations… like when someone eats my lunch when they can clearly see the label on the container with my name on it, the fucking bastards!"

"Why do I even bother getting you idiots all better when you're just going to go off and get yourselves blown up all over again?"

"I only yell at you and beat you up because I love you! Now get over here so I can show you how much I care brat!"

(Before flicking someone in the face) "Hey, is this paint or blood on my fingernail? Come here and check it out for me, my eyes aren't that good."

"You don't remember someone trying to stab you? That's like not remembering your first girlfriend had a dick… right Jiraiya?"

* * *

**Yeah, I'm done for this chapter folks. It's been a while for this story in particular, but fear not, I still remain around… hell it's been long since I've updated anything by my standards, but that's a more personal thing.**

**Hope you enjoyed, I'll catch you guys around. Show your boy some love… or hate, I don't care.**

**Kenchi out.**


	39. Stimulate Your Mind

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. *sniff sniff* Do you smell that? It's the smell of mediocrity and failure, and it's the smell that I'm more than used to.

**Chapter 39: Stimulate Your Mind**

* * *

Naruto sat in the floor of his living room with Kyuubi looking over his shoulder, "Naru-kun what in the world are you doing with that balloon?" In Naruto's hand was a water balloon that he was focusing intently on, "If you throw that at me I'm going to be upset."

"It's not meant for you Kyuu-chan." Naruto replied as he kept his focus on the water balloon, "I'm supposed to pop it by rotating the water in it with my chakra. Ero-sennin gave me this as a part of my training for a new jutsu."

Kyuubi put her hands on her hips and looked down at him with a smirk, "So you're going to pop your balloon on the bare floor of your brand-new apartment?" She pointed towards the elevator where Naruto's clones were coming in with furniture, "Where do you want all of this stuff?"

"Just anywhere inside where it's supposed to be for right now." Naruto said, "I'll figure out where to put all of it once it all gets here." He growled as he focused back on the balloon, "I've got to pop this goddamn water balloon so I can do the next step of whatever this is."

The clones placed the new couches around Naruto as if he were the epicenter of the living room, with two even lifting him up and planting him on a couch, leaving him alone with a pat on his head as he continued his work. Kyuubi giggled at Naruto and his clones before asking him a question, "So what are you learning? I thought you were trying to learn that wind jutsu of yours."

"Fuuton: Kaze Kongou no Jutsu (Wind Release: Wind Bolt Jutsu)?" He asked before letting out a laugh, "I can do that. After I learned how to split a leaf with my chakra it was easy for me to feel exactly where the point was for me to hold the jutsu in my hand. This is training for the Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)."

"Sounds fun." Kyuubi said as she sat down next to him on the couch he was on, "I can stay tonight right?"

Naruto stopped practicing and looked over at her with a scrutinizing gaze, "Your dad still doesn't know where I live yet does he?" Kyuubi shook her head, eliciting a sigh of relief from Naruto, "Good. Yeah of course you can stay. And just so that he doesn't kill me the next time we train together you might want to tell him where my new place is now. It's not like he can even get all the way up here in the first place." He finished with a grin, getting a kiss on his cheek as Kyuubi jumped up and ran off to call. This action caused Naruto to drop his balloon on his floor. Staring at it in horror, Naruto barely moved as he watched the balloon roll back and forth, water sloshing violently inside of the thin membrane of it.

Surprised that it hadn't popped, and bored of just sitting back and focusing on spinning his chakra, Naruto started rolling the balloon back and forth with his feet as he thought about something that Jiraiya said while he was training that day with him.

_(Flashback – Earlier That Day During Training)_

_Naruto was steadily trying to pop the water balloon in his right hand by spinning his chakra while Jiraiya and Tsunade watched on. Tsunade had a fond smile on her face as she watched the younger blonde struggle with the first step of his new training. Jiraiya on the other hand had an expectant look on his face, "Now I'm not teaching you this jutsu just to throw you a bone gaki." Jiraiya said to get Naruto's attention, "You're going to be working harder and harder operations for me once I think you're ready to advance. You're officially my apprentice now, you've got talent. I want to see how far you can push yourself."_

"_Whatever you say Ero-sennin." Naruto said in return as he kept on working, "I'll handle whatever you give me, I guarantee it." That was what he wanted anyway. Harder missions meant more money, more money meant that he was further away from the streets he had done everything in his power to try and distance himself from. There wasn't anything about Jiraiya's words that he didn't like, "Just got to pop this goddamn balloon first…"_

_He didn't see Tsunade frowning at the prospect of him having to undertake more dangerous jobs, but she didn't vocally oppose it, at least not at that moment while he was there anyway._

_(End Flashback)_

POP

"Goddamn it." Naruto said as the water balloon at his feet popped and threw water all over his floor, "At least I can wipe it up on hardwood…" He said to himself as he stood up and walked off to find something to get the water up with.

"What happened Naru-kun?" Kyuubi asked him from the roof balcony she had walked out onto to take in the night air.

"I got water on the floor when I was messing with the balloon." He explained as he came back into his living room from the connected kitchen with a mess of paper towels. As he kneeled down and began letting the watery mess soak into the paper towels, his eyes widened. Right as Kyuubi came back downstairs to look at what he had done he shoved a bag of balloons in her face, "Go fill up another balloon like the one I just had please." He asked suddenly.

Raising an eyebrow at his weird behavior, Kyuubi still went to the sink in the kitchen to adhere to Naruto's request. He had even ignored focusing on cleaning up his mess as he followed her to the sink to immediately receive the water balloon, "What did you find out about this?"

"I've got to spin the water in more than one direction, like in as many directions as I can at once." He said as he prepared to go through with his idea.

Kyuubi put her hands on her hips as she watched the balloon with interest, "Do you have the control for that?" She asked him. His control was notoriously not up to snuff for any of the illusions that she had been trying to teach him for months. This was why they had stopped training his demonic techniques; he didn't want to cheat and advance without getting the illusions down thus he never tried to go any further.

Naruto let out an indignant snort, "Relax, it's not like I'm trying to make myself invisible here-." Kyuubi rolled her eyes at the jibe directed at one of her favorite moves, Kitsune no Manto (Fox Cloak), "-I'm just spinning my chakra around."

POP

"-And there we go." Naruto said with a grin as he shook out his now wet hands, laughing at Kyuubi as she jumped back from the sudden pop of the balloon, "You were saying that I couldn't?"

Kyuubi shook her head and gave him a hug from behind, "I never said you couldn't? I asked if you had the control to get it on the first try. So what's the next step?" She asked in interest.

Naruto flexed an arm in a showy manner, "I've got to burst a rubber ball with my chakra now, and I'm not doing that until tomorrow morning after you go home. I need a rest, I've been doing this since four, ten straight hours."

At that moment a clone of Naruto's appeared from the back hallway, pointing over its shoulder towards the rooms back there, "Oi boss… we put the bed up and put the stuff on it so you can stop training now." Naruto threw his hands into the air victoriously, getting a chuckle from his clone before it dispelled.

"Come on Naru-kun." Kyuubi said as she began to drag him from behind by his waist towards the main bedroom, "Let's get you all rested up. It wouldn't do if someone came here trying to assassinate you again and all you could do to fight them off would be to yawn at them."

"Yeah right, as if we're really going to be sleeping." Naruto said with a lazy grin as he let Kyuubi drag him, she was deceptively strong, "You and I both know that we're lucky we have this whole floor to ourselves because you're going to be screaming my-."

Kyuubi cut him off with a sweet, disarming smile, "Finish that sentence and there won't be any screaming going on in this place for a while… at least none of the good kind."

"I'll be good." Naruto said quickly as he found himself dragged the rest of the way into his room.

XxX

(The Next Day)

Fighting summer boredom is a very important aspect of dealing with the time provided during summer vacation. Since Naruto's outright hatred of cable TV hadn't diminished in the slightest over the last six months he utilized his trusty cell phone and list of contacts to get something together.

It had started with him calling Ino to get her to direct his clones to set his place up, then it had evolved into calling Shikamaru to get him to find some way to get a massive rubber band for unknown purposes. One thing led to another and once their plans got underway Shino, as Naruto's landlord, wound up having to show himself at Naruto's place and he never got to leave, with Naruto basically forcing him to stay and partake in the festivities. A call from Hinata to see how he was doing, and in a matter of half an hour both she and her little sister Hanabi were there checking out Naruto's new place.

Naruto had a complicated looking slingshot set up on his roof balcony between two poles affixed to the edge of the roof with him standing and taking aim, holding a water balloon, "Come on Shino… give me some direction here. Be a better spotter." He said expectantly before mumbling below his breath, "If Tenten was here she'd have me shooting crows out of the fucking sky…"

Shikamaru, who was wearing a pair of olive shorts and a green t-shirt with black thorns all over it, leaned over the railing nearby as his eyes scanned the streets and sidewalks for Naruto, "Why are we doing this? This seems troublesome."

Shino adjusted his sunglasses on his face as he tried to think of how he had managed to get himself roped into this. He had been found in his office on the first floor by a man that Naruto had managed to actually nail with a balloon and had gone upstairs to direct Naruto to stop. The conversation they had never got that far before he had been convinced to actually help the blonde mercenary in his debauchery, "Why are we doing this you ask? It is simple. Naruto-san is obviously very bored. And adjust your aim to one o'clock, sixty-five degrees." He added as an afterthought.

"Got it." Naruto replied as he let fly with another balloon, waiting for a moment before a splash and a honking horn signified that he had hit his mark, getting a chuckle out of him, "Should I pee in one and then shoot it?" He asked.

"No." Shikamaru and Shino both said unanimously, about to possibly resort to violence to keep him from doing so.

"You guys are no fun." Naruto said off handedly before turning to yell downstairs into his house, "Tsukime-chan come here for a minute!" A few seconds and pattering footsteps later, Hanabi wearing a purple sundress made her way to the roof and found herself holding back the slingshot in Naruto's place, "Take some shots. Don't fire until a hit is assured, ask Shino or Shikamaru to help line you up."

Blinking in confusion before a balloon was placed in her hands in the slingshot, Hanabi then smiled mischievously and began to take aim, "Can I get something to stand on Naruto-oniichan?" She asked before she found herself standing on a patio table, "Wow… Onii-chan is fast." She muttered before returning her attention to terrorizing the denizens of Konoha unlucky enough to hove into her field of vision… which was extremely impressive with the use of her Byakugan, have mercy on their poor souls.

XxX

As Naruto descended the open stairs to get down to his living room he saw Hinata sitting on one of his couches flipping through the channels on his TV with Sakura in another watching as his clones were scattered all about fixing up the house according to how Ino figured it should look with what he had.

Naruto stretched his legs out before taking one huge leap forward, landing right next to Hinata on the couch, scaring the daylights out of her as she let out a shriek, "Don't do that Naruto-kun!" She said, slapping him on the arm as he laughed uproariously at her reaction. Hinata was wearing white shorts and a loose white long-sleeved shirt that showed her midriff, "I almost hit you for real." She huffed as she felt mortified at almost being frightened enough to hit her friend with a Jyuuken strike.

"I'm sorry princess." He said as he calmed himself down, turning half of his attention towards Sakura as well, "And thanks for coming over you guys, I didn't know what I was going to do today besides train, and with what I need to do I can work on it when you guys leave."

Sakura merely smiled at him from her seat. She was wearing a light blue plaid skirt and a white short-sleeved button-up shirt to go with a light blue ribbon in her hair, "It's no big deal Naruto, Ino was bored, I was bored… I think everyone was bored today anyway."

At that moment, the three that had been left on the room scrambled down the stairs holding Naruto's dismantled slingshot and a bucket of water balloons. Shikamaru looked at Naruto with a slight sweat on his face, "Where would you hide something like this?"

"Why?" Naruto asked, noting how Shikamaru and Hanabi looked nervous while Shino did not.

Shino pointed at Hanabi, "Why would we need to hide your slingshot? Because Hyuuga-san was a little overzealous in her firing and hit a police officer a half a mile away." Hanabi gave Naruto a sheepish smile as she laughed nervously.

"Wow." Naruto said plainly before pointing down the hall, "Put the stuff in the closet in my room, and watch out for Ino and my clones, don't get in her way or you might lose your head." Shikamaru and Shino did as Naruto instructed, leaving a tentative Hanabi still in the room, "And little Tsukime-chan… good shot." He said, getting her to cheer up, "From half a mile all the way up here there's no way he saw you so I'm not mad. Next time just make sure you recognize your target before you take a shot. I don't like going to jail."

Hanabi, now relieved that Naruto wasn't mad at her, made to lay on the couch, more specifically in a spot where she could put her head in Naruto's lap. Hinata giggled at this and Sakura was equally amused, "Naruto what did you do to get that little girl to like you so much?" Sakura asked in reference to how much the eight year girl seemed to adore him.

"Well saving her from being kidnapped kind of helped." Naruto joked as he ran a hand through Hanabi's hair, "I don't know. Kids just like me for some reason. There's this kid named Konohamaru; him and his friends like me too." He heard Hanabi growl once he said Konohamaru's name and decided to tease her, "I'm sorry Tsukime-chan, I won't bring up your future boyfriend anymore."

"That idiot isn't going to be my anything Naruto-oniichan." Hanabi contested, "I hate that jerk." She said, shutting her eyes as the others in the room weren't watching anything interesting at all as far as she was concerned.

Hinata rubbed Hanabi's back as she could see her little sister was dangerously close to falling asleep, "That's right, Hanabi-chan would much rather you be her boyfriend Naruto-kun." Hanabi didn't respond to Hinata's attempt to tease her, pretending to have just fallen asleep, but her cheeks turned slightly red.

Naruto let out a laugh, "No way, she'd be sick of me in about a week. I'd bet-." He started to say before his cell phone went off, "Oi Deputy, what's up? Itachi done kicking your ass yet?" Muffled griping could be heard through the receiver of the phone before Naruto spoke again, "Yeah whatever, all bark no bite. Are you downstairs?" Another moment of silence, "Alright, I'll be there in a minute or two." And with that, Naruto carefully got Hanabi off of him, getting her to lay her head on the cushion of the couch before he made his way to the elevator in his apartment and hit the button calling for it.

Sakura was confused by what had just transpired, something that would have gotten Naruto to get up and just head all the way downstairs, "What's the matter Naruto?"

"Nothing." Naruto replied as the elevator door opened, "I've just got to go downstairs really quick to get someone." Hitting the button to the ground floor, Naruto left the confused women in the room as Ino shoved both Shikamaru and Shino back down the hall away from the back rooms.

"Both of you get out, I'm working!" She exclaimed to the two confused teenage boys. Ino was wearing a purple sleeveless turtleneck shirt and a jean skirt as she flipped her ponytail back and headed back towards Naruto's back rooms once more, "Naruto was the one that trusted me to help him get his place in order and I've been doing a damn fine job without all of the distractions." She grumbled on her way back.

Sakura gave Shikamaru a questioning look as he sighed and sat at a stool by the counter in Naruto's kitchen, "I don't understand just what happened. We were just putting the slingshot in the closet in Naruto's massive bedroom and Ino ran in with a pack of Naruto's clones carrying all kinds of crap. Then she kicked us out."

The elevator dinged and the door opened, attracting everyone's attention. Through the doors stepped Naruto and a haggard looking Sasuke, "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed in happiness at seeing her crush show up so unexpectedly, "What are you doing here?"

Sasuke pointed towards the back room and raised an eyebrow, "I kind of pay him so that I can stay here when I want to. Speaking of which…" He finished, leaving his statement up in the air towards Naruto.

"Go on." Naruto told him with a sigh, "Go pick your room and make sure you mark it, not in a way that won't come out but-. Oh forget it you're not stupid, you get it." He said absently before having to look back over at Sakura who had a 'deer in the headlights' look on her face, "What? I didn't have the time to make him or Kyuu-chan a key to the elevator and the stairs yet, I had to leave to get him."

"So…" Sakura said, speaking as if she was trying to get something straight, "Sasuke-kun will more than likely be here a lot… right?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, probably. The only reason we didn't have a set-up like this at my old place is because I didn't have the space for it. Now I do. Why are you asking?"

Sakura simply smiled at him, satisfied with his answer, "Oh just because I know where I should go when I want to find Sasuke-kun now." She said with a sly smile on her face. She sincerely hoped that Naruto didn't mind having company over now that she knew that.

"Sasuke-kun!" Everyone heard Ino shout from the back, "What are you doing in a place like this?"

"Can I just get some rest?" Sasuke replied tiredly, "I don't even have enough energy to act like you're not there. Itachi is a monster…"

Sakura didn't know how to word her next question subtly so she just came out with it and asked, "So what exactly does Sasuke-kun like to do when he's not at school?" Personal information on Sasuke was actually very hard to come by due to the fact that he only really openly talked to Naruto until just recently. A chance to find things out like this was her best chance at getting to know the real Sasuke that she had ever had.

"Train." Naruto said plainly, "Deputy wants to be strong and he wants his friends to be strong since his job is dangerous. It's probably why we get along so well… he never has to worry about me getting my ass kicked or protecting me. Probably why he likes Kyuu-chan too, after the fight they got into when I was in Taki."

'Sasuke-kun likes stronger girls?' Sakura thought questioningly, 'Or maybe it's girls that do more than just come onto him?'

"Ino get out so I can get some goddamn sleep! I don't like hurting girls but I will set you on fire, I swear!" Everyone heard Sasuke yell from one of the extra rooms in the hallway.

Ino laughed before replying, "I'm already more than hot enough Sasuke-kun, thank you though."

"My life is like hell… every day." Sasuke said in a defeated voice.

Sakura smiled serenely, knowing what she had to do, and knowing also that Ino had more than a leg up on her in their new competition to get Sasuke's attention. Still also remembering how she couldn't do anything but watch Naruto get beaten up when she tagged along on that one mission, it couldn't hurt to try and get herself into learning how to fight if only to keep up with her friends that all seemed to be able to do so if only to defend herself.

After all, what else was she doing with her summer?

Sakura looked over at the man that owned the house who was in his kitchen looking as if he was trying to decide between two different cups of instant ramen, "Thank you Naruto."

Naruto scratched his head, knowing that Sasuke picked the wrong time to show up if he wanted to keep this place as his last bastion of some sort of privacy, also not quite sure what he did to get a thank you, "Um, you're welcome Sakura." Naruto said in response to her, 'Something tells me that this place is going to be a lot busier than my old apartment was.'

XxX

(Two Weeks Later – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Naruto sat down on a bed in the medical bay, mostly to talk to Tsunade, as he held a balloon in his hand, "So what's up Tsunade-baachan?" He asked as he focused on something with the balloon, winding up with popping the thing, getting a growl from him.

Tsunade was sitting in a chair in the aisle between the beds near Naruto, "Jiraiya's going to send you on another mission next weekend." She heard Naruto give a grunt of acknowledgment before she thought about something, "I thought you were past step one already."

"I am." Naruto admitted, "In fact step two was easier than step one. I had to pop a rubber ball, but my chakra is naturally intense because of the artificial demon stuff that I've got flowing in me. Since I had the spinning-chakra thing down already it worked like clockwork." Tsunade nodded, having known all about that due to Shizune's records on him and her own routine checkups on the kid, "So that one was easy to do. Now I'm just trying to keep the sphere shape of the Rasengan altogether with everything I already learned." He then got back on the original topic, "So Ero-sennin is sending me back out? What kind of mission, or do you not know?"

"I don't know, he didn't tell me." Tsunade admitted casually before rolling closer to him, "I do know that it's going to be a mission guaranteed to have conflict. He wants to know what you can do so no matter where he winds up sending you I can guarantee that it won't be within city limits and that you had better have your supplies ready for anything. And be ready to be gone for a while, a few weeks I would say."

Naruto frowned but nodded, "Kyuu-chan isn't going to like that. If I'm guaranteed to have to fight then I'm definitely going to make sure she stays back." He saw the chiding look on Tsunade's face at him bringing in people that didn't work for Kaisha Hein on missions with him, "I said she's _not_ going with me. I took her with me for the mission to find you because we weren't supposed to fight, and other than the fight club thing that got me money we didn't."

"Yeah whatever brat…" Tsunade said before informing him on something else, "Anyway, Kakashi is supposed to be going with you as your captain on this one, and you can both talk and pick a third to go with you both. It can't be someone as high-up as Obito though, we need our elites for more important things than backup for someone that's already high level."

"I am fifteen years old." Naruto said with a humored tone in his voice and a smile on his face, as he gestured in a grandiose manner, "Who's running this army?"

It should have been enough no matter how bad the mission got. One thing he knew for sure was that despite not looking very reliable on the surface Kakashi was the man and could still kick his ass if it came down to it, ascended form or not it didn't matter. Being able to pick his own backup was also something that kept him from dreading the coming mission… and he already knew who he felt like bringing along for the ride.

XxX

"Alright." Tenten said in agreement with a shrug as Naruto found her down in the training area of the headquarters. He had managed to pry her away from throwing weapons of all shapes and sizes at moving targets so that he could ask her to partner up with him and Kakashi on his next mission, "You said that we should be leaving next week and it'll take a while to complete didn't you?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I'm surprised you're this eager to go along with it though. What about your summer?"

Tenten waved off his comment with a laugh, "My summer? What exactly am I going to do other than do stupid chores around the base and wait on reserve for a spot to open up for me? Meanwhile you throw me all kinds of work." She started listing things on her fingers, "The mission to find Tsunade-sama, when you commissioned me to work on your motorcycle, and now this." Tenten smirked and poked Naruto in the chest, "You keep me getting work. Work makes Tenten very happy."

Naruto grinned in response as he helped her pick up what she had thrown, "You know, work makes Naruto happy too, when I'm bored illegal things happen. And this one's supposed to get us paid, which is never a bad thing."

"Tenten likes money too." Tenten said, thinking of the potential payday she could get, knowing how much she got for the Tsunade mission.

"Everybody likes money." Naruto added as they finished packing up Tenten's gear and left the training floor.

Tenten began walking with him to find Kakashi and make sure that everything was set to go for next week's mission now that the ranks of the team were all set, "So where are we going?" Tenten asked as they entered the office that Kakashi was usually found in, locating the man sitting at his desk with a book in his hand.

"How should I know?" Naruto replied, "I just found out I had a mission not even ten minutes ago and invited you. What can I say, misery loves company."

"We're supposed to be going to a city in Nami no Kuni to begin with." Kakashi said before tossing a scroll at Naruto and Tenten, the former catching it in his hands and opening it, "Check it out kids." And thus Naruto and Tenten did just that.

**Mission: Reinforce and Assist in the defeat of the Gato Corporation (Nami no Kuni branch).**

**Rate of Pay: 400,000 ryo**

**Assigned Operatives: Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, _ **(Tenten then filled her name in eagerly with a pen from Kakashi's desk.)

**Mission Specifics: To assist a specific group with their objectives. The information given has identified the group in question as a band of militia formed to combat the hostile takeover of their land from the owner of a major corporation. You will be working on your own, but are expected and encouraged to coordinate your efforts with the militia already fighting that you are under contract with. If nothing else do not step on one another's toes. Use whatever means you find necessary to complete the objective unless it directly results in the death of the client or anything the client deems off-limits.**

**Contact Point: Star Point Bar; Gokkan Kouwan-shi (Frigid Harbor City)**

**Commencement: 6/13**

Naruto closed the scroll back up once he and Tenten got the gist of what was to happen, "So next Tuesday the message will be sent to them that we're on our way. Understood." He said with a smile on his face, actually excited to get back to work.

Kakashi nodded from behind his book and set it down long enough to make eye contact with Naruto, "I'm sure I don't need to tell you already what to be prepared for." The two younger mercenaries looked at each other before turning back to Kakashi with serious looks on their faces. The tone of voice he used was one that Naruto wasn't used to from his lazy brother figure, showing him that this was rather important, "Rin told me about how you handled the last mission where you knew you were going to fight and were able to plan your operation. Let's hope that this time isn't as chaotic."

Naruto threw the scroll back at Kakashi and left the room with Tenten who followed him curiously, "How should I get ready for this?" She asked him, having not been on a mission where she was guaranteed. From what she had just heard, Naruto had been on at least one of an aggressive nature.

"Weapons, clothes, ready to eat food, medical supplies since none of us are medics…" Naruto tried listing the things that she might need, "Just take anything that you might need. If you can carry it and you think you need it then it's not useless to bring." He said as they both made their way towards the exit to go and make preparations for leaving, "You have parents too right?"

Tenten nodded and looked at him strangely, "Adopted. What does it matter?"

Naruto shrugged as they reached the door and he waved hello and goodbye to Haku who was manning her usual place as the unofficial greeter of Kaisha Hein, "It doesn't really… but I just think you're going to want to make sure they know you love them before you say goodbye to go on this one. I don't like it for some reason." Hearing him say that stopped Tenten in her tracks for a moment before she continued on walking, wondering what made him think that, "By the way, you've been stabbed before right? Somewhere important?"

Tenten blinked before answering tentatively, "Um, I've been stabbed in my arm before pretty badly, I've gotten cut a few times too. They were pretty deep."

Naruto just stared at her for a moment before stroking his chin and shrugging, "Huh, I would have thought that someone that uses weapons like you would have gotten stabbed in body or something before. Oh well, you'll probably get stabbed on this one and then you can see what that's all about." He said, patting her on the cheek before he made his way towards the parking garage to get his motorcycle.

Tenten quickly recovered and watched him walk away, following behind desperately, "Wait are you saying I'm _going_ to get stabbed? Who the fuck is possibly going to stab me? Naruto? Naruto don't you walk away from me! Don't you put those goggles on damn you, and get that smirk off of your face! Turn that engine off and answer my questions you jerk!"

XxX

(Three Days Later)

As night fell over the city, Naruto sat on his rooftop patio while Kyuubi went through her formal katas in a black gi with her red hair pulled back in a ponytail. Naruto of course did not take part because he had absolutely no formal training whatsoever, "So your parents know you're here?" Naruto asked her.

She nodded and continued with her motions, "Dad flipped for a second as expected, but it didn't take long for mom to get him to pipe down. She really likes you Naru-kun." Kyuubi made certain to turn so that she was facing Naruto as she continued to practice, "You don't feel too good about something, I can feel it. What's the matter?"

Naruto decided to tell her now rather than later since she already guessed that something was up, "I've got another mission next week. This one might take a while. A week or even more depending on how tough things turn out to be."

Kyuubi let out a hum showing that she understood, "And I'm guessing that I can't come with you again?" She asked, sounding dejected but still keeping her katas going, "I understand by now. You have a certain way of handling things in missions when you fight. I'd get in the way of that since I don't know the first thing about paramilitary work."

Naruto smirked, "You could always join Kaisha Hein and I could get you trained on operational work. You'd make a good mercenary you know."

"Thank you Naru-kun." Kyuubi said with a smile pulling at her lips, "But you know why I'm not going to do that. I'll just wait for you to come back like I always do, it's no big deal." She stopped her katas and walked over to him to sit in his lap, "You _are_ coming back aren't you?"

Naruto wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close to him, "I'll always come back. There's no way I'm not coming back. All you need to do is keep an ear out for the sound of my motorcycle. No matter what, no matter how long it takes, when you hear that you'll know that I'm back and I'm okay."

Kyuubi let out a slight giggle as she ran her fingers through Naruto's hair, "That's actually really corny you know, but it's still sweet. Just don't go and get yourself blown up okay? I don't think you'd be quite so cute scattered in a thousand pieces."

"There's nothing 'cute' about me right now. An explosion or two might just improve my looks." Naruto replied before sighing in contentment, Kyuubi's fingers massaging his scalp under his messy hair, "So what are you going to do while I'm gone?"

Putting on a pondering look, Kyuubi answered him, "Keep watch over your place since you gave me a key, hang out with our friends to fight the crushing boredom of summer, train, think about whether or not you're dying in a ditch… you know, the usual stuff." She said with a grin showing off her slightly sharpened canines.

Naruto laughed humorlessly and returned her grin as Kyuubi wriggled around in his lap, "Well I wish I could say I'd return that last sentiment, but from personal experience when I'm bleeding out and ready to die in a ditch I really don't think about loved ones… I think about how much dying by bleeding out sucks, and wonder if the ditch I'm laying in is going to give me an infection if I live."

Kyuubi just gave him a deadpan look before giving him a soft love bite on the shoulder, "You are a strange and dangerous person Naru-kun." She said in a voice, muffled as she still had her bite firmly on his shoulder.

"And yet you're crazy enough to be into me." He replied in a happy tone.

XxX

(The Following Monday – Konohagakure Police Training Grounds)

Sasuke was with Itachi, who after the little attempts by Orochimaru to procure his little brother's bloodline was not letting him out of his sight. This afternoon it was Itachi's job to oversee the training of the actual trainees of the police force preparation program. Sasuke was forced to tag along but he wasn't really complaining as it put a temporary halt to Itachi's torturous training methods.

As they watched the teen trainees run the obstacle course in their grey shirts and black shorts, Sasuke was getting bored with watching them struggle. Seeing others struggle with something that you can do on the first try with ease is usually annoying, "Should I go out there and run the course really quick to show them how it's done?" He asked as he watched more than a few struggle with it.

"No Sasuke." Itachi said as he kept a watchful eye, trying to take note of anyone who had potential, "This is the first day of the summer class, it wouldn't do to have you breaking their spirits with what you can score now. Still though…" A small smirk came to Itachi's mouth, "Who is it that has the overall record again?" He asked Sasuke who began to fume.

"You…" Sasuke growled out irritably, "I'm going to kick your ass before summer's out Itachi, I hope you know that."

"Yes I'm sure you will Sasuke." Itachi said in a dry manner that Sasuke couldn't decipher as sarcasm or not. Itachi put his fingers to his mouth and blew to produce a whistle noise to get the trainees to gather by him, "I hope that made you realize just how difficult things can be for you if you decide to continue our training program. I am Itachi Uchiha and I will be one of your trainers for the summer, I expect you all to work hard and to listen to my instructions without fail. Sasuke here will be my assistant and will help me demonstrate the things that you will do, like this." He turned to Sasuke and pointed at the obstacle course, "Sasuke go through the obstacle course for me and show them how it should look at full speed." Sasuke nodded and got into a starting position, "No chakra on the walls either."

"I know that." Sasuke snapped lowly before taking off in a sprint that the untrained observers could barely see. His first obstacle was a pit-like set up where he had to run along the tops of logs to get across. He never even broke his stride for a moment or looked down as he advanced to the portion where he was jumping over gaps of varying distance, although again jumping over things was no sweat. Next came the sixty foot wall that needed to be scaled with a rope, another thing that Sasuke did without blinking before he slid down the rope on the other side, not even bothering to climb down properly. Blowing on his burned hands, Sasuke continued forward, running a lap around the home stretch track before coming to a stop past Itachi, "Time!"

"49 seconds." Itachi said looking at his stopwatch

Sasuke held back an outburst at not beating Itachi's time of 41 seconds. Shaving the seconds off of his time was starting to piss him off, "I messed up when I went down the wall didn't I?"

"It's okay Sasuke." Itachi said in a consoling manner, "Nobody can be exactly like me… sometimes even I have trouble doing it." Ignoring his fuming little brother he turned to the stunned students who didn't even have a time any better than 3 minutes at the best, "Now I will not ask you to get under one minute by the end of our time together, but I hope you paid attention to the more technical parts… also do not do what Sasuke did and slide down the opposite side of the wall, you will fall and probably die. Foolish little brother…" Sasuke rolled his eyes and glared at the back of Itachi's head with his Sharingan on, "Class dismissed."

As most of the students vacated the area some of them, mainly the male trainees were grumbling about how bad Sasuke had just made most of them look, while a few of the girls talked about how cool he and Itachi were. Sasuke let out a sigh, "We have to come back here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday don't we?" He asked Itachi who nodded, "Damn it, I'm going to invest in a-. Sakura?" He said in surprise after seeing the familiar pink-haired girl waving at him.

"Hi Sasuke-kun." She said as she walked over to him, seeing the surprise of finding someone he knew out there in the program clear in his eyes.

Sasuke felt like rubbing his eyes to see if he was really seeing this, "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get some extra training." Sakura replied, "I know a little Aikido, but not much… and if I'm going to be friends with you or Naruto or any of our other friends I have to know how to do more than just hide right? He got really hurt when we went to Takigakure that one time and I couldn't do anything to help him at all."

Before Sasuke could think of anything to say in response, Itachi spoke up, "Sakura actually did quite well in comparison to all of the other females on the course. She did better than a few of the men too, 3 minutes and 12 seconds. Good work Sakura Haruno." He said before walking away.

Sakura smiled before turning to Sasuke who just looked at her before letting out a chuckle, "I hope you're really sure about doing this Sakura. It's going to get harder you know. If I were you I'd pick a focus for your training since direct fighting doesn't seem to be your forte." He then chose to walk away too, "But that's just me, you don't have to listen to what I say."

Sakura didn't know how to take that, 'He actually said more than five words to me and he didn't seem as if he was looking down on me.' She thought to herself as she walked in a dazed manner back to the outside of the training ground to wait on her ride home.

XxX

(Nami no Kuni – Bridge to the Island/Mainland)

Naruto and Tenten sat in the company provided car that had Kakashi behind the wheel as they waited in line for a toll. Tenten had her eye twitching at the price, "Are you kidding me? 100 ryo as a toll? No toll in Hi no Kuni goes over 20 ryo."

"Relax Tenten." Kakashi said calmly as he already had the money in his hand. He pointed at the insignia on the toll booth that revealed it to be run by the Gato Corporation, "There are quite a few problems that are more serious that we'll have to deal with once we get there. This is nothing in comparison to that. There's no need to raise a fuss over nothing." And it was true. There were armed guards at the border stationed… and Kakashi was sure that they didn't belong to Nami no Kuni because if the tolls were under Gato's control who knew what else would be?

Naruto didn't say a word from his spot in the passenger's seat as he just wanted to get out of the car and stretch his legs. Sitting in that car for a full day was not his idea of the perfect situation, "Next time we go to another country I'm getting a plane ticket. This road trip crap is for the birds."

"I don't trust the airlines Naruto." Kakashi said as he transformed himself into what seemed to be an older version of Naruto behind the tinted windows of their vehicle to get ready for the toll booth. Kakashi paid and accepted the greeting of welcome into Nami no Kuni before rolling his window up and letting his transformation drop.

Naruto gave Kakashi a dry look, "You know instead of wasting chakra by using Henge you could have just taken off your mask if you didn't want to look suspicious Kakashi-nii."

Kakashi turned to him and gave him an eye-smile, "You're right, I could have."

Tenten giggled in the backseat as Naruto spoke again, "And I don't know why you just turned yourself into a bigger version of me either."

"That wasn't you." Kakashi informed him, "That was the man that helped to train me when I was younger than you. Uncanny resemblance right?"

"More like a dead ringer for Naruto." Tenten said from her place in the backseat. She leaned forward and grabbed Naruto's cheeks from behind, pulling on them, "Aside from the whisker marks, the fact that Naruto's eyes are sharper, Naruto is tanner, and the guy you transformed into looked way more mellower than Naruto on his best day I'd say yeah it's uncanny." Her grinning face that Naruto could see in the rear-view mirror revealed that she found this to be quite fun.

Naruto grew a tick mark on his head as Tenten continued to show how bored she had been by the trip as she kept stretching his cheeks, "I would bite you, but you need all of your fingers to throw stuff and hack into things."

XxX

(Gokkan Kouwan-shi – Star Point Bar)

The squad had parked the car up and walked through town, taking note of how impoverished things looked to be. Tenten had a look of confusion on her face, "I don't get it. This is supposed to be a harbor city that gets commerce from Hi no Kuni, Mizu no Kuni, Kaminari no Kuni, and dozens of smaller places."

Naruto was currently cursing his enhances senses as he could smell a drug lab not even four blocks from them. Part of him wanted to find it and send an explosive clone inside to blow the place to hell, but that would blow their advantage over their true target by alerting them to trouble.

"Are you alright Naruto?" Kakashi asked. He could smell it too, though not as well as Naruto could. He could only imagine what Naruto felt like, and seeing Naruto pull his goggles down over his eyes to keep people from seeing the flickers of red in his eyes told him that the feeling wasn't too positive.

"This place reminds me of the way the Bowery in Konoha used to be…" Naruto said, holding back the growl in his voice as he flexed his fingers, keeping his claws from surfacing, "It's pissing me off."

Tenten pointed to a sign far down the street, "Is that the place?"

Kakashi squinted to see what she was indicating, impressed with her natural eyesight and nodded, "Yes, that's our meeting point with the client." With that confirmed, they made their way towards the most well lit building on the entire street only to jump back out of the way of the door as over thirty rowdy men walked out of it, some holding weaponry and rudimentary tools.

As they finished walking through the doorway, one man followed behind them, making sure to lock the door until he noticed Kakashi, Naruto, and Tenten watching what had just happened. He had black spiky hair, a rope tied around his head, and wore a black shirt and blue jeans. After a moment of looking at the foreigners he grinned widely, "You're the mercenaries I hired aren't you?"

"You're the client?" Kakashi asked, "You're Kaiza?"

"Yep." Kaiza said as he rubbed the space between his nose and mouth. He gestured for them to follow him as he went after the men who had taken off earlier, "Come with me, we're in a hurry right now." He said as he broke into a jog that forced the others to keep up with him.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked, noting that he was leading them back the way that they had initially come from.

Kaiza had an angry look on his face as he continued to run, "Gato doesn't get enough out of the money he makes off of his regular business. His real profit that he uses for himself comes from the underhanded things that he does, such as dealing drugs. This country is as good as his. Our leaders are just puppets of his. The bridge to the mainland that my father-in-law built was seized by Gato and he uses that as another way to keep us under his stranglehold."

Knowing what this explanation was leading to, Kakashi had to hold back a sigh, "So you're basically saying that for all intents and purposes we're here to help you with some kind of rebellion or coup."

Kaiza shook his head, "Rebellions and coups are meant to put down the leader of a country, this is just to get rid of one rat's control over us. He isn't the leader of anything."

'It's a coup.' Naruto and Tenten thought simultaneously with deadpan looks on their faces as they got closer to a group of warehouses that had fighting between the men that exited the bar and even more men at their side, making the number soar upwards of one-hundred attackers. They were stuck at the large iron gate out front as they all tried beating it down to get inside.

The smell of drugs being made was working over Naruto's last nerve as he was gritting his teeth to hold back from growling out loud. Hearing that their client was going to put an end to the place anyway was the only excuse he needed to go in there and tear it up. He ran towards the gate and shouted at the men, "Get out of the damn way!" Once they saw the angry blonde kid running towards them wearing goggles they all moved aside, letting Naruto draw his right arm back in preparation, "Come on, this is what I've been training for! Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)!"

Kakashi's single visible eye widened as he saw a perfect blue sphere of chakra form in Naruto's right hand, 'He knows that jutsu already? Jiraiya-sama said he would be training him to use it, but that was two weeks ago. He can already perform it?'

Naruto slammed the blue ball into the gate and watched as the doors flew open amid the stunned but ecstatic cheers of the men. Naruto just stood in awe of himself as the men ran past him into the warehouse compound to get into a fight.

"Damn…" Kaiza said in an impressed voice, "I guess that says whether or not I got my money's worth already huh?"

Naruto just looked at his right hand before flexing it in an experimental manner, "Wow I actually pulled it off. Great. So now what?" He asked Kakashi before Kaiza ran past him into the compound.

"*sigh* We can't let our client die before our objective is complete." Kakashi said, sighing at how the man just ran directly into a battle with drug dealers, "So I guess we fight." Tenten drew a handful of small kunai to throw at targets while Naruto pulled his combat knife from its holster under his pants, "Keep your phones on and stay in contact with me in case of problems arising." Naruto and Tenten both saluted Kakashi before taking off to fight, "Now I have to find Kaiza…" Kakashi said to himself before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

XxX

The men that Kaiza had taken didn't seem to have much of an objective except to raise hell and beat up the drug dealers in an effort to clean up the streets. Naruto and Tenten had an actual objective though, to blow the entire compound to hell as Naruto originally wanted… okay, so it was mostly Naruto's objective, but Tenten was 100% all for it.

There were three warehouses in the area and Naruto created a massive amount of clones to split up and do their thing inside of each one while the original himself and Tenten would take one by themselves. The two young mercenaries managed to make their way onto the metal roof of the warehouse of their choice to begin their work on that particular one.

Tenten took her backpack off and dug around for a scroll inside while Naruto shoved his knife directly into the metal roof and began silently cutting a decent hole into it for them to climb through, "How are you doing that?" She asked him, wishing she could do that with most of her weapons.

"Wind chakra." He informed her as he finished cutting a decent segment into the roof and pulled it back to open it, "Ladies first." Naruto said as he gestured to the hole. Tenten flipped him off and dropped down only to land on the support beams high up in the warehouse, "What do you see?" He whispered to her, his knife re-sheathed and him holding his nose because of the smell being magnified at least ten times now that he had an open route to the source.

She looked up and motioned for him to drop down as well which he did, "Get your hand off of your nose you big baby. What are you going to do once we get down there, fight with one hand?"

Naruto turned his night-vision aspect of goggles on due to the low light of the building and found a secluded spot for him and Tenten to reach the ground. Grabbing a hold of her, covering her mouth so that she didn't make any noise, Naruto fell directly backwards towards the ground before releasing the wind necessary for one of his newer ninjutsu, "Kyuu Teishi (Sudden Stop)." He muttered lowly right before they reached the ground, letting them hover for a moment, slowing them down enough so that their landing was silent and on their feet.

The two placed their backs against a series of storage crates and sat down as Tenten took a deep breath and socked Naruto in the arm harshly, "Tell me before you do something like that again!" She hissed lowly, "I thought I was going to die!"

Naruto rubbed his arm and glared at her through his goggles though she couldn't see his eyes doing so, "Well you didn't, so there. Now what's the plan, because I was just going to set a spark and blow the place up."

Tenten blinked and looked over the crates at the drug lab before sitting back down, "Yeah okay, blow this place to hell so we can get on with it. Set that fireball Naruto!"

Naruto smirked and formed a blue fireball on his fingertip, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)." He then stood up and threw the fireball overhand before crouching back down, both him and Tenten looking at the potential explosion about to result.

The fireball flew roughly ten feet before smacking into a large metal shelf with more crates on it, setting the wooden boxes ablaze and alerting the people inside that there were intruders somewhere.

As the enemy began to panic, Tenten turned towards Naruto with a dry look on her face while he kept his eyes from meeting hers out of embarrassment, "That was the single worst throw ever… of all time."

"Not my fault." Naruto weakly defended as he drew his large bowie knife and scratched the side of his head with it, "Someone put a wall in my way." He cracked his neck to the side and prepared to get himself into a fight with the dealers, "Well who cares anyway? It's redemption time!"

"Right… or-." Tenten pulled out a small wad of what looked to be raw plastic with a pulling pin in it at the top, "I can just do this." She pulled the pin and threw the wad to the original desired target as it beeped rapidly before exploding, engulfing a great portion of the warehouse in flames.

Naruto stared at Tenten with his mouth agape, "What the hell was that?" He asked, ignoring the pained screams of the few who had survived.

"Semtex. A plastic explosive." Tenten said before reaching for something else as she pulled out a metal orb with another pulling pin in it. Much like her last projectile she pulled the pin on that one as well and threw it over what used to be the lab. The orb exploded, releasing spikes in all directions that silenced the screaming survivors, "And that was another weapon of mine, the Porcupine Grenade."

"How violent…" Naruto admitted as they both stood up and made their way towards the main doors of the warehouse, "If I didn't already have a girlfriend that did stuff like that I think I'd be in love right now." Tenten winked at him, getting him to shake his head as he opened the main door. He couldn't help but smirk as he saw flames billow from another warehouse where he had sent his clones, "You see? My aim isn't always so bad 'Little Miss Ten-out-of-Ten'."

Before any further banter could take place they both saw a little kid crying and running away from three adults chasing him down. Tenten frowned and quickly threw three of her small kunai at them, hitting them in the back of their knees and sending them to the ground when Naruto knocked them unconscious with a long dropping axe kick that hit them all, "It's okay now you can stop!" She yelled to the little boy.

He stopped and turned towards them wearing a pair of green overalls, a yellow shirt, and a bucket hat. He also had a crossbow in his hands, "Who are you?"

Naruto walked up to him and pointed to himself and Tenten, "We're the mercenaries that Kaiza hired to kick these guys' asses. Don't worry about any of them, they're not going to hurt you anymore."

"Yeah, don't be scared." Tenten said with a smile that the kid apparently took offense to, "What's the matter?"

"I wasn't scared!" The kid said as he held up his crossbow, "I was just getting some distance before I tore into those guys!"

Naruto laughed and even Tenten let out a little giggle, "Just how much distance were you trying to get kid?" Naruto asked belligerently, "If you'd backed up any further you would have had to mail them the bolts." They were kept from laughing at the fuming little boy any further by another warehouse exploding nearby, "Man my clones are on the money today. It looks like our job here is done Tenten, let's go find Kakashi-nii."

They left the little kid standing there by himself before he wised up and ran after them, "Wait, you were the ones that blew those places up? Hey, wait up!"

* * *

**Chapter done. Hope you all dug it. Now I need to go to work and get some bank… because I'm sick of being broke. Whoever asks how you can be broke and have a job must not have ever had a job and responsibilities at the same time and must be in high school. Just wait kiddies… just wait until you've got to deal with jerks to earn your bread. God I need to get famous being a fighter! At least that way I can legally beat up co-workers that I don't like because they're dicks.**

**Enough about me though, you don't care. Till the next time folks, this mission should take two more chapters, Kenchi out.**


	40. City By the Bay

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I'm going to invite Kishimoto for a ride in my 98 Ford Taurus, only to pull down a bulletproof separating shield between the driver and passenger's seats. His seatbelt will not work, and the screws on his door will be loose. My car would be 100% death proof, but to get the benefits of it, people would really have to be sitting in my seat. I would drive like a lunatic until he signed over the rights of Naruto, or he died of horrible car trauma related injuries.

Sorry Kishimoto, it's a cutthroat business we're in…

…And I carry a knife everywhere I go.

…Seriously.

Enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter 40: City By the Bay**

* * *

After the battle that had taken place at the warehouse complex taken over by drug dealers that were in Gato's employ, Naruto, Tenten, and Kakashi were taken by Kaiza and the scared little boy from before, Inari to their two-story home at the edge of town that actually had a beautiful ocean view. Small vessels could be seen sailing all around in the calm waters. It was a resounding difference from what the Kaisha Hein mercenaries bore witness to after crossing the bridge into Nami no Kuni. It was like a haven away from the rundown, impoverished looking city they had ridden through to reach this area.

Upon entering the home they were greeted by Kaiza's wife and Inari's mother Tsunami, a rather beautiful woman with long dark hair wearing a pink shirt and a dark blue dress. Upon being told who they were and that they had been the hired mercenaries brought in by Kaiza she happily allowed them into her home to be given a rundown of the situation by Kaiza.

"Nothing like it ever happened in this country before you know?" Kaiza said, pacing around the living room full of jitters or excitement… maybe both, "When Gato Corporation first came here everyone was excited about it. We're a small country that only really makes money from fishing and transport. A nation of sailors really." Kakashi, Tenten, and Naruto all sat listening to his story as Tsunami brought them drinks, "It was supposed to bring us another line of work. The economy of the entire country was supposed to pick up. But Gato brought in his own people to run everything, work in all of his facilities. He was just buying up the cheap land and using the cheap resources that we had. We're apparently a major point for commerce in dozens of countries that line the coast."

Kakashi spoke up at this point. If that was all there was to the story then he was sure that Jiraiya wouldn't have accepted the request so easily, "I'm getting the feeling that there's more to this than that."

Kaiza's eyes hardened over in anger at Gato, "You're damn right there's more to it than that. When Gato got his foothold and started taking more and more land under his name on the island he stopped caring about playing his criminal stuff low-key. We don't really have any law enforcement in Nami no Kuni, we never had a need for it and citizens would usually handle their own affairs together. But Gato's got tons of muscle behind him all over the country. Kidnapping, extortion, drugs." Kaiza let out a sigh of indignation, "Things weren't supposed to be like this. So we hired you to help us out. Maybe some professionals would be able to help us take that bastard down."

"Well that's our job." Naruto said with a shrug, "We're here to do what we can to help you out to win against this Gato guy." He then punched into his palm, "So Kakashi-nii, let's just go find him and kick his ass and that will be that." Naruto jumped up out of his seat and was about to head for the door when Kakashi grabbed him and pulled him back down, "Oi!"

Kakashi looked at Naruto in an admonishing fashion, remembering that he was still in his first year of work, "Hey, don't be so bloodthirsty. First of all we just blew up five different drug factories and you and Tenten killed over one hundred thugs."

"Wait." Tenten cut in, blinking in surprise, "How did it add up to be that much? I only threw one Semtex and one Porcupine Grenade and that only killed a dozen guys when I counted." Kakashi pointed over at Naruto, getting Tenten to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

Seeing this, Kakashi elaborated, "Naruto, or should I say Naruto's clones, blew up three warehouses by themselves… with the enemy still inside of them. So _both of you_ killed over one hundred… it's just that Naruto killed way more than you did."

Hearing his kill count, Naruto clapped his hands and threw his arms into the air victoriously, "Old school style!" In response, Tenten palmed her face and muttered 'sociopath' under her breath, "For the last time I am not a sociopath! Why do people keep saying that?"

"You just heard that you killed one hundred people and you're acting like you're going to get a medal for it!" Tenten yelled, jumping out of her seat in order to deliver a punch to the top of his head for being stupid, "Were you dropped when you were a baby or something?"

"Yes." Kakashi said abruptly in an absentminded fashion before realizing that he said that out loud since everyone in the room was now looking at him, "Oh… um…" He noticed Naruto looking at him with a stunned look of betrayal on his face. Tenten was as well since the inclination of Naruto being dropped was just a joke, "Obito did it." That was his only out.

"Obito dropped me?" Naruto said incredulously, "I can't believe it!"

"Obito, Rin, Shizune... me." Kakashi said with a shrug now that the cat was out of the bag, "Yeah, we all dropped you at least once. But in our defense you were a really squirmy kid and we were all like twelve." He finished with an eye-smile and a thumbs up as if that made it better.

Naruto just stared at Kakashi until he sank his head into his hands in self-grief, Tenten patting his back consolingly. Inari just watched the scene skeptically before he addressed Naruto, "_You_ took out that many of Gato's men? You don't even look that tough, they all looked stronger than you. You're a kid."

This was enough to pull Naruto out of his funk as he got his head out of his hands to give a dry look at Inari, "Kid I don't care what I look like. They can look as tough and strong as they want to. Nobody looks tough after they get put in the hospital or into a coffin."

Tenten gave Naruto a dry look as Inari took a step backwards, "Wow… that was certainly a kid-friendly comment."

"Right…" Kakashi said before directing his attention to the two younger mercenaries under his command, "I think we should wait until things settle down a bit from what happened in town earlier. Later I want you two to hit the streets and dredge up some kind of information from me that we can't get from our client." Naruto and Tenten both nodded, "We need to know what we're about to get into."

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Kyuubi's House)

Standing in her backyard in exercise clothes, Kyuubi had her arms crossed over her chest, her fiery red hair put up in a ponytail for the time being, "I really don't think this is such a good idea." She said with a worried look on her face, but the reasoning for her worried look wasn't for herself, it was for the person standing in front of her in her open backyard.

"I don't think it's a bad idea at all." Sakura said, dressed in the grey shirt and black shorts she had been given when she had joined the police force trainee program, "Naruto and Sasuke-kun both said that you can fight, and I don't feel like going to Ino to help me get better."

Kyuubi pointed over to the side where Hinata was sitting and drinking tea, "Then get her to help you out. She'd probably do less permanent damage to you than I would."

Hinata took notice of Kyuubi's comment and calmly took a sip of her tea before responding, "I didn't come to visit just for a spar or a fight of some sort. I could have stayed home and done that far easier." Her lips quirked upwards in a smile, "As a good host you should acquiesce to the request of your guests if it doesn't trouble you too terribly Kyuubi-chan."

"You aren't helping." The red-eyed girl shot a short glare at Hinata before turning her attention back to Sakura with a sigh, "But if this is what you want… I could really hurt you, you know that right?" She said as she dropped into her own fighting stance, showing how prominent the use of her youki-triggered claws were when in combat. She sure wouldn't be actually fighting with them against Sakura though.

Sakura frowned but set herself into her own ready stance, not very shaken at Kyuubi's question, "I may not be very skilled at it, but I do know Aikido, I'm just not wearing my uniform for practice. I'm not helpless." She then noticed Kyuubi smirking, "What's with that look?"

In response, Kyuubi held up an open hand a formed a blue flame in her palm, "I can make fire and throw it at you. I know Aikido's supposed to be defensive and everything, but I don't see how they'd teach you how to counter a fireball." She clinched her hand in a fist a snuffed the flame out, "I'm not going to use any nin or genjutsu though. That's not fair."

Off to the side, Hinata nodded in agreement, "Indeed. That's not a very sporting idea to use anything other than hand-to-hand combat here." She then tilted her head to the side curiously, "You really don't fight like Naruto-kun after all do you?"

Sakura tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear to make sure that her vision would be clear, "Can we just do this already? This isn't the kind of thing I want the time to have second thoughts about."

"Fine." Kyuubi said aimlessly before rushing forward at Sakura, getting her to take a few steps back to try and deal with the overwhelming speed exhibited. Her first few attacks were of a probing nature, but due to the style of her fighting it didn't seem much like it. Kyuubi took a few hooking swipes at Sakura's face, sans claws or she might have lost an eye of wound up with some permanent scars.

Sakura could at the very least lean far enough back that she avoided the first few swipes. She did not avoid Kyuubi's follow-through spinning back kick that hit her in the stomach and knocked her to the ground. Sakura held her stomach with a hiss of pain and glared up at Kyuubi, "Ow." She said in a manner indicating that she wanted her to tone it down, "Kind of harsh."

"Sorry." Kyuubi said sheepishly, scratching her cheek bashfully before extending a hand to help Sakura back up. Sakura accepted the help only for Kyuubi to grin viciously and pull her into a punch directed at her stomach, "Bam!" Sakura dropped to her knees on the ground, coughing at the unexpected attack, "You alright?" She asked in response.

"*cough cough* What the hell?" Sakura managed to choke out as she writhed on the ground holding her stomach, "I wasn't ready! Why'd you act like you were helping me up just to punch me?"

Kyuubi kneeled down next to Sakura with an impassive look on her face, "We are not point-sparring, the sparring we do is actually toned down fighting. It's going to end up with someone getting hurt because pain teaches you what not to do to keep from getting beaten up when it actually matters. You know Aikido and that's good for you, you're a fledgling martial artist… but you're not much of a fighter."

Sakura stared up at the nearby girl, still glaring at Kyuubi, "What's the big difference?" She muttered lowly.

Kyuubi's lips quirked upwards slightly, "Fighters are people that actually fight real fights. The gear they use to protect themselves during training isn't made of quarter-inch thick plastic because they actually get hit and hit others. They know if the techniques shown to them really work because they test them every day when they train." She grabbed Sakura's hands and held them up by her face as if she were a boxer, "They do not throw punches from the hip because they realize the practicality of protecting their face and body against tough opponents. Something especially important for us as women because why?" She finished chiding Sakura with a question.

"Because I'd rather not get my teeth knocked out or my nose broken." Sakura said, cringing at the thought of trying to get ahead with Sasuke with a face full of scars, **"No way Sasuke-kun would think we're sexy with a busted grill!"** Her inner self raged loudly.

A nod of affirmation came from Kyuubi, "And since we're basically street-fighting with restrictions it's a dog-eat-dog world here. If you fall onto the ground and you stay down there because you're not ready to get back up then you're liable to get curb-stomped. You have the option of saying you give up since we're just sparring, but if you give up here you'll give up in a real fight, and your opponent will probably do terrible things to you after they beat you, especially since we're women. So get used to not fighting fair, and get used to ignoring that feeling you've got in your stomach telling you to stay down, because if you stay down you're dead."

It felt weird being the one lecturing on street fighting instead of the one being lectured. Her boyfriend must have been rubbing off on her more than she thought because most of that didn't even sound like her talking for most of the explanation.

Sakura nodded and sat back up before suddenly lashing out with a punch at Kyuubi that she found caught right in the smirking girl's grasp, "What?" She was completely surprised that her sneak attack failed.

"My dad has been training me for years and my boyfriend is a dirty rotten scoundrel who is the master of fighting like a punk." Kyuubi said with a pleasant smile, "Nice try at a cheap shot though. I guess that means you're ready to keep going then?" Sakura paled at the bright tone she had and the tighter than comfortable grip Kyuubi had on her fist.

"Keep your hands up Sakura-chan." Hinata supplied helpfully from the sidelines as she refilled her cup of tea.

XxX

(Nami no Kuni – Marina)

After hours of combing the city to get a feel for the predicament they were in, Naruto and Tenten decided to take a short rest at a marina. Most of the fishing ships there looked like they hadn't been moved in months. Most of the ships connected to moors were locked down, probably by Gato as well since they had both seen his goons prowling the area. Now all sailors had to do was simply sit back and watch their ships rust in the water.

It pissed both of them off that this was the case. However it wasn't that entirely unfounded. Gato Corporation was a massive business with interests in many countries, and from what they had heard and seen, Nami no Kuni wasn't much for the whole grand-scheme economy thing. As long as there was enough to go around for the most part things were perceived to be fine. It was a mostly middle to lower class spectrum, but one that seemed to work until Gato showed up. Instead of improving on the overall standard of living it suffered from the corporation's presence for more than just the unscrupulous reasons that bred crime and the like.

The larger funds of Gato's business allowed him to lower prices for services and goods in the country, lower than any domestic business could go under and still turn any sort of profit. Gato was able to take the rather small hit to his own funds in order to drive most smaller businesses in Nami no Kuni into the ground. This then made him the only source for what people needed and from there he hiked his prices up higher than anything prior. At this point he was more or less ingrained in the country's entire economy, and that wasn't a good thing. He was like a parasite and the rate at which he was sucking the life out of the country wasn't even subtle or small.

So with this in mind, both Naruto and Tenten had come to a predetermined course of how they would attempt to convince Kakashi to handle the situation. They wanted to rob him blind and take everything they could from him. How they were going to do that was going to be worked out once they got Kakashi to agree, but that's why they were sitting at the marina taking a break; so that they could possibly think of some method to do so.

"We need to sit and seriously think this one out if we're going to pull it off." Tenten said as she sat cross-legged on a mooring, "Naruto, hand me my thinking grenades."

Naruto handed over a small crate, watching in interest as Tenten pried the top off and held one of the grenades in her hand, "Where the hell did you get these?"

"I make them. Now shush up, I'm thinking." Tenten said matter-of-factly before taking on a pondering look and pulling the pin from one prior to throwing it backwards over her shoulder. After a second it exploded in the water behind them, "Uh huh…" She said as if it stirred some sort of thought process. With that train of thought, she took another and casually tossed it in the water at her side.

BOOM

"Oh my God he's dead!" One of Gato's thugs shouted. They had come to investigate the source of the first explosion and had managed to get too close to Tenten's second grenade in doing so.

"That might work…" Tenten said to herself as she effortlessly pulled another grenade's pin and threw it away in the same direction.

BOOM

"What's happening?" Another man shouted in fear as another group of inquisitive thugs were nearly obliterated by one of the explosives.

"I've got it!" Tenten said, jumping off of the mooring she had been sitting on, slapping Naruto on his shoulder, "We're going to need to write this down though. So let's go tell Kakashi-taichou what we're thinking of. Come on." She grabbed Naruto and dragged him along out of the very chaotic marina before any actual trouble could show up.

Naruto let himself be pulled around as he looked at the havoc wreaked by Tenten's grenades, "All this could have been avoided if just a few more people took the message of the log into their lives…" He said pitifully

XxX

"You're out of your minds..." Kaiza said as he sat in and listened to Naruto and Tenten explain that they wished to rob Gato to break his hold over the country. That would have to be one hell of a robbery, "I knew there was a reason I liked you all!"

Kakashi had been sitting and listening to the explanation of what the two younger operatives believed they should do and had to wonder how this came about as their plan of action that they wished to take, "So how'd you two come up with this one?" He asked them calmly and rationally, not showing his opinion on the plan one way or the other.

Tenten was the first to explain, "Well if we take all of the money he has sunken into this place he'll probably just pull out of Nami no Kuni. He's staying here despite the mess that the rebellion groups all over the country are making because he's still making money. In the end Gato can still pay everyone who works for him, he's still making a hefty profit with his control over the commerce in this country, and no one in the rebellion force has enough skill to actually get close to him in his mansion to make him think that he's in any trouble."

Naruto nodded in agreement with Tenten, "He's like some kind of dictator that still tries to live in his country and keep control of it with force; going about everything like it's all normal, not taking the forces as a real threat to him, flaunting that he's rich and in control… only his 'army' isn't as good as a real one from what we can see." Naruto said with a grin on his face, "They can bully people and do most of the other things that actual occupation soldiers for guys like that do, but they aren't really trained or even decent fighters really. They're cheaper than real soldiers or mercenaries so Gato keeps them around to do his legwork."

"Dumb muscle…" Kakashi said, beginning to think hard about how all of this could possibly play out.

"The dumbest actually." Tenten said with a giggle, "The thing about it is, pretty much no one Gato has is born in this country. They're all from other places he's set up shop in the past, they're all guys looking for some upward mobility on the ladder. But there's something else." She said with a frown, "Word tells us that Gato is in tight with the daimyo."

Kaiza nodded and let out a sigh, "Yeah it's true." He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed as he kept speaking, "All the money that's in Gato's accounts… the first thing he did when he got here was he lined the daimyo's pockets with gold to have him look away. If the daimyo had figured something was worth taking care of he would have run that scumbag out of here quick, he might be weak compared to larger nations but he's still a daimyo. But now since he's sitting fat and happy with periodic payments from Gato we had to hire you guys for help. He uses the daimyo's own personal force as his direct bodyguards so that his goons can hit the streets freely, all the while he has his own professional soldiers to keep him safe directly."

"Another reason why taking Gato's money would work." Naruto reasoned, "If we leave that son of a bitch with nothing but a barrel to cover himself with then he won't sink anymore money into Nami no Kuni, not after such a heavy loss like what we're going to do to him. No money means no daimyo's men to cover his ass, no thugs getting paid so they'll just leave or go to another place Gato has, and you guys yourselves will have money to help fix your businesses back up and fund your own force to chase him out of here on your own."

"With our own two hands…" Kaiza said, a smile appearing on his face. He didn't like having to go out and rely on Kaisha Hein for everything. But this plan sounded like it was hitting on all cylinders so far, "But how are you two so sure about this?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "I used to sneak into places and steal things… sometimes. And Tenten can break into any security system so it's not like she's just getting all fired up about something she can't help with. I can make clones, so I can pull up the manpower to do all of the little things we need done. All we need right now is a plan, If Kakashi-nii lets us go through with it that is." He finished, looking hopefully towards Kakashi. Even Tenten was trying her best to hit Kakashi with puppy-dog eyes to get him to say yes.

Despite the fact that due to his status as a married man puppy-dog eyes had all but lost their full effectiveness on him, Kakashi didn't take long to give his answer, "We're going to have to plan this out carefully, but it can definitely be done if you two are certain you can pull it off. And of course you have me to supervise." He gave an eye-smile and rapidly waved his arms about foppishly, "Aren't you kids lucky?" He said in his usual tone that could be construed by others as sarcastic.

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Uchiha Main House – Early Evening)

The sun had set less than an hour prior when Sasuke found himself kicked awake in his own bed and sat up abruptly, ready to fight when he actually took notice of who his intruder was, "Oh, Itachi… you woke me up you prick." Sasuke said, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he calmed down, "What's up? You going to dress down my training from today or what?"

"I've found some things that you might want to know." Itachi said, ignoring Sasuke's 'prick' comment and taking a seat in the chair by his desk, "You still wish to find Orochimaru do you not little brother?"

Hearing Itachi bring up Orochimaru made Sasuke blink in confusion, "I thought you wanted me to back off of-."

"True." Itachi responded, throwing one leg up over his knee and sitting with his elbow propped up on the arm of the chair, holding his face up with a fist on his cheek, "But I never said that _I_ wouldn't now did I?" Sasuke's eyes widened before Itachi chose to continue, "I'm going to be helping you when I can, and I'm going to do more than just training you like I currently am. Orochimaru is not in our country Sasuke."

A frown came over the younger brother's face at hearing that, "I kind of figured as much from the start. I thought I could at least pick up a trail though, you know?" Itachi nodded, knowing what Sasuke was going for, "All I've got is that the guy was a major nutcase… experimenting on people. And I know that he's apparently interested in me." Something about that made Sasuke's skin crawl, "Why me though I wonder."

"We don't know for now." Itachi said, "But this is because despite your skills, and you _are_ very skilled Sasuke, you do not have any contacts." Sasuke was about to argue that Naruto was a contact, "You don't have any _foreign_ contacts. Naruto-kun may be your underground contact in Konoha, but his scope doesn't reach any further than Hi no Kuni at its greatest. He can't help you locate Orochimaru anymore than you can do by yourself right now."

Sasuke felt himself bristle slightly at what he thought might have been a shot at his best friend, "Naruto's been helpful. How could you say-?"

Itachi held up his hand to stop a tirade from his younger brother, "I know that Naruto-kun has been helpful. He's helped you against agents that have been sent to retrieve you and for that he has even more of my gratitude and respect than he already had before, he's given you the base information on your target, but he can't dredge up any more info than he's already given you. On the other hand I _do_ have foreign contacts that have been keeping their ears and eyes open for the last twelve years, ever since I was a young boy. And I've been inquiring about your little problem."

"You know where Orochimaru might be?" Sasuke said hopefully. If that was true then Itachi really was the best in the world. He would never be that good if Itachi could just jump right in and find the man he had been trying to locate for several months, "How?"

"I didn't say that." Itachi corrected him calmly, "I'm not that good Sasuke, and if I could find the man that easily my contact would have been able to tell me that years ago. No, I simply asked around and something came up, but it's not really a definite path to Orochimaru." He could see the dry look on Sasuke's face asking why the hell they were having this conversation then, "Patience now. Obsession is an ugly thing little brother." Itachi said chidingly, "Don't turn this into your white whale."

"I'm not obsessed Itachi." Sasuke tried to dispute, "Just say what you want to say. Go ahead."

Nodding at the sign to proceed, Itachi did just that, "There were rumblings of Orochimaru slipping into Amegakure around several years ago." That sounded like something that could happen. That entire country was pretty much locked down and that village was in the center of the nation. If Orochimaru really wanted to hide somewhere safe all he had to do was lay low while there. No one could really infiltrate just to chase him around the countryside under Hanzo's control.

Still, that made things a lot harder for Sasuke, "Damn, so even if I could locate him exactly I couldn't touch him. That entire country is a deathtrap."

"This isn't about Orochimaru per se Sasuke." Itachi informed him, surprising Sasuke as he had figured that he was the point of the entire conversation, "While in that country I heard that he had dealt in the past with a group that dealt in hunting the occult. Demons and the like."

"Demons don't exist Itachi." Sasuke said, crossing his arms, "They might have at one time, but they're extinct now."

"True enough." Itachi continued, "But that just meant that they took interest in the next best thing. Half-demons. Half-demons like your friends Naruto and Kyuubi."

That didn't sound like something that was particularly good as far as Sasuke was concerned, "And by 'interest' you mean?"

"Imprisonment, experimentation, and outright extermination." Itachi said grimly, a hard look in his eyes, "It's close to a cult that actually has very strong legs in Amegakure and that entire country in general. It's been active for several years and has been gaining prominence for the last decade at least. They believe that those that somehow accrued demonic blood in their lineage are evil. The lack of control that the stronger half-demons had wound up driving them insane through history and a few of them were actually prominent leaders in a lot of the more war-torn regions in Ame's countryside. Town chiefs that would have their villages sack others. It has roots hundreds of years deep."

Sasuke was now paying rapt attention, Orochimaru or not, "But Naruto and Kyuubi are the only ones I know. Are there really that many that there would have to be a cult or something to take them down? Besides, neither of them seem to ever be berserk, I've seen them both fight hurt. Sure Naruto's a little off, but that's more of a product of the environment kind of thing."

"Naruto-kun and his girlfriend's bloodlines aren't strong enough for them to lose control of their powers." Itachi said, explaining the reasoning, "Naruto-kun is far from weak, but compared to those that I'm talking about he really isn't much of a blip on the radar. The bloodlines of most half-demons have become watered down and diluted so that could be another reason, I can't really say. But there are actually a very large amount around… they just don't say anything, some don't know, and many of them have no active abilities due to a lack of knowledge of how to use chakra. Chakra is the root of all special abilities."

"Naruto's weak?" Sasuke said in disbelief, and in response Itachi shook his head, "But you just said-."

"I said their bloodlines weren't strong. I didn't say that they themselves were necessarily weak." Itachi corrected, "The more direct a descendant of a demon, the stronger the bloodline is. It's like a kekkei genkai almost, only it varies in power from its first appearance. Have you seen Naruto-kun's ascended state?" Sasuke shook his head no. He had heard about it but hadn't seen it himself, "Only the stronger demons have an ascended form… which says a lot about the two of them. Even if Naruto-kun's is 'artificial', so to speak."

Sasuke didn't know where to begin even asking questions, but one stuck out immediately at the moment, "Why are you telling me this Itachi? Why now? Why not when he told us about his half-demon stuff in the first place after his birthday last year?"

"I didn't believe it mattered then, but I've heard some things that disturb me further about this group now." Itachi's eyes actually expressed the concern for the mutual friend of the two brothers, "They aren't constricted to moving just around Ame, they travel further and further out on their 'crusade'… and they are near fanatical as my contact tells me. Warn Naruto-kun. There is a very good chance that he could one day run into them on his travels, and warn his girlfriend as well, sighting them in our city isn't farfetched at all either."

"How do you even know any of this?" Sasuke asked him suspiciously, "Having a contact is one thing, but the way you just told me all of those things about half-demons… Naruto doesn't even know that stuff, and he's supposed to be one."

Itachi smirked, "Naruto never asked questions either did he? Never once did he question anything about his status. He just assumed it was just another card that life dealt him and he stuck it with the rest of the hand he had received. Have you ever heard Naruto-kun complain about anything in his entire life that was out of his own control? His parents, his muddling through the streets, and more recently his discovery of his status as a half-demon eight months ago."

He never did. Naruto would take a short explanation of the way things were, why he had no family, why he had no real funds, and why he had suddenly changed, and he would move along and either fix the problems he could or deal with the ones he couldn't. It was actually something Sasuke found admirable. Naruto never dwelled on anything, "That still doesn't explain why you know these things."

Itachi let out a small chuckle and activated his Sharingan, "Our eyes can see more than others can dear brother. Don't forget that I've been all over the world, and I've seen and heard many things."

"Well you never tell me stories about the things you used to do Itachi." Sasuke said, trying to reason why he asked the last question.

This put a frown on Itachi's face as he got up out of the chair and walked towards the door, "That's because the stories about what I used to do weren't meant for children Sasuke."

"Why do you trust Naruto so much?" Sasuke asked right as his brother reached the door, "It doesn't make any sense to me. He was shaping up to be a criminal when we met him, and now you treat him like… well, like he's a brother of ours. It can't just be because he knows our uncle."

"Naruto-kun earned my trust. He was always a good boy, just a little misguided at times." Itachi said plainly, looking into the room from the hallway, "You two had the abduction incident all those years ago to bring you two together, well Naruto-kun and I had our own event that did the same." He then left Sasuke, still rather confused, in his room, 'Naruto has kept my own secret from you and the others Sasuke… you wouldn't look at me the same if you knew of it. None of you probably would.'

XxX

(Nami no Kuni – 30 Miles Outside of Gokkan Kouwan-shi)

Tenten's endeavor of hacking into the systems of every bank in every country that Gato Corporation had some holding in showed that Gato's personal fund was not kept in any banks. Since a good chunk of it was drug and smuggling money it made enough sense, this probably wasn't the only place he had tried something like this in either.

Gato's house was huge. That was what both Naruto and Tenten agreed upon once they saw the massive place. Like most shoreside homes in Nami no Kuni there was a jetty in the back of the house, however it was ten times larger than anyone else's would have been especially since Gato didn't have neighbors. Boats lined the jetty ranging from speedboats to a yacht and a patrol was set moving up and down the area.

All of the sizeable land under his position was routinely scanned with floodlights at night, and there were motion-detecting lights set up across the land as well. Speaking of the land, it had been clear-cut to leave no place to hide or plot for intruders. This pissed off the minor environmentalist in Naruto, but security-wise it again made sense.

The house was huge from the outside and it was completely surrounded by motion detectors and guards wandering about, which would make getting in a problem in the first place even if they were able to dodge the lights all over.

Within the premises was one large guardhouse where Gato's guards originated from. Also within the guardhouse sat an alert button that when triggered would summon the daimyo's forces to eradicate whatever threat brought about the alarm in the first place. If that was set off then everyone would be screwed.

"This totally sucks." Naruto said, the special goggles constructed for him by Tenten over his eyes as he spoke on his headset to said girl. Tenten was getting a different angle on scoping out the house, "How are we even going to get close to turn any of the alarms off in the first place with those damn lights everywhere?" He was hanging off of the top of a tree at the end of Gato's cleared out land, wearing his black skulking gear to fit in with the dark.

"_That's why we're scouting the house to see if we can even do it in the first place genius."_ Tenten said, her voice sounding out through his headset, _"And when have you ever done something like this before anyway?"_

"Don't worry about it." Naruto replied coolly. He hadn't broken into anywhere with high security in years since he had tried to *ahem* clear his criminal record from the files of the Konohagakure Police Force two years ago. Itachi hadn't found that to be very funny, "Just tell me exactly how in the hell you think we're going to pull this off."

"_Since we won't be able to get close at night because of those lights we'll have to do this during the day. The motion detectors won't be a problem either, trust me. The real problem is that damn alarm device they have set up to call in the daimyo's soldiers. We've got to find a way to get rid of that or we're dead."_

"…You think they'd lock down the bridge out of the country?" Naruto wondered to his partner.

"_The bridge, the coast around the city and probably the entire west side of the country."_ Tenten said, adding on to what Naruto suggested would happen, _"We'd never get out of here if we got busted prematurely, so we need to get the fuck out of here with the money in a hurry once we take it."_

Naruto nodded to himself. He did not want to see what prisons in Nami no Kuni were like… if they even had prisons… or if they'd even be turned over to anyone, since people in Nami no Kuni apparently handled their own affairs. Gato would probably just gut them and anyone he thought was involved, "The mainland is like thirty miles away. That's a long way to take a shit-ton of money Tenten. 1,000,000 ryo… I think we should get paid more if we pull this off." He then heard Tenten laugh out loud over the line, "What's funny about that? I was kind of serious."

"_You think that Gato only has 1,000,000 in his vault?"_ Tenten said, still laughing before settling down, _"Gato himself is worth over 500,000,000 and he doesn't use banks for his own personal money. When we rip him off we're walking out with _at least_ 50,000,000… this house means he's setting up here for the long haul to consolidate his business in Nami no Kuni so it might even be more than that."_

Naruto could only listen to Tenten and let out a sigh, "Yeah, we're definitely not getting paid enough for doing this." All that money. He'd never have to work again another day in his life. Oh who was he kidding? He'd find a way to squander the hell out of it in a hurry just so he could go back to work. He liked his job too much.

"_Too true. But 400,000 ryo isn't really anything to sneeze at. No need to be greedy Naruto, eh?"_

Maybe not, but it was going to be split three ways, which in the end wouldn't have even come close to the bankroll he'd get from stealing all of Gato's loot, "The Suntanned Superman is far from greedy." Naruto replied with a grin, speaking about himself in the third person as he turned off the zooming aspect of his goggles, "I just like to hoard money… yeah, that's a good way to rationalize it."

"_Especially since all you did was just use the generalized definition for being greedy."_ Tenten responded, _"But back to work. When we hit this place we're going to have to be very fast. I need to get inside and look at his vault so that I know what I'm busting into when the time comes. That was something the contractors that built his house didn't have for us when we asked."_

"You mean bribed and threatened to keep their fucking mouths shut." Naruto said as he started to climb down the tree he had been in. Kakashi had footed the bill for the bribing, Naruto and Tenten had done the actual legwork and the threatening part after they questioned the commitment of those they had bribed, "Are you done? Because I'm done."

"_Good, because I'm so ready to get out of here…"_ Tenten said in relief, _"I need to know about his vault though so I can crack it on the spot."_

Naruto wasn't concerned with that, "Leave that to me. I'll have it for you by tomorrow. Won't you need to practice on another one just like it beforehand?"

"_What is this, a movie? I'm not going to use a drill and a blowtorch or a stethoscope and my hearing, this isn't the 50's you Luddite." _

"Oh fuck you 'Little Miss Technophile.'" Naruto replied maturely to the jab, "I don't use tools or technology to break into shit Tenten, I just steal stuff that I can automatically get into. You could probably hack a desktop computer with your phone right now."

"_Yep. I don't even have to hang up first to do it either."_

Naruto hopped down from the tree he had been in and wiped his hands off on his pants, "Showoff… let's go back to Kaiza's place and start piecing this plan together."

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Kyuubi's House)

Grumbling to herself as the sound of her phone going off woke her up in the middle of the night, Kyuubi sat up and rubbed her eyes to check her caller ID before answering, "What the fuck do you want Sasuke? It's 3 a.m. you insomniac." She said tiredly, dropping her head back onto the pillow while speaking.

"_Nice to talk to you too."_ Sasuke said sarcastically, _"I tried to call Naruto first but apparently he doesn't get bars in wherever the hell he is in Nami no Kuni right now, so I'm calling you. I've got something to tell you both."_

At the moment, Kyuubi was so thankful that it was summer and she had nothing urgent to do tomorrow. Because of this she was willing to lend Sasuke an ear instead of putting it off until at least tomorrow, "Well get talking before I nod off. What's up?"

"_Apparently there's this group out there with a vendetta against people with demonic lineage."_ Sasuke said, getting Kyuubi's eyes to widen and her mouth to drop slack, _"They're supposed to be based outside of Hi no Kuni but they're a group without borders pretty much. I know that you and Naruto are plenty tough, but I just wanted to let you know about them. Itachi said that Orochimaru's trail led him to them and he was telling me so I could tell you guys to keep a look out. They could probably come searching as far into Hi no Kuni as Konoha if they wanted to."_

'No…' Kyuubi thought to herself, not responding verbally to her friend, 'Not again… not them. Don't bring them up Sasuke, please. I don't want to hear about them.'

"_Kyuubi?"_ Sasuke said when he never heard her talk again after he himself had finished speaking, _"Hello? You there, or did you fall back asleep."_

"I'm here." After taking a minute to make sure her voice was steady, Kyuubi finally spoke up, making sure to swallow the lump in her throat before doing so, "So these crazies want to kill people just for having demon descendants? That's really messed up."

"_Tell me about it. How would they even know without being told? I mean, you and Naruto never even bring it up in front of anyone except me. Is it like that for all of them?"_

"Most people don't know without being told by another that they have demonic blood unless it's obvious. It's like you can feel it when you look at someone whether they are or not and sometimes you don't know it until later. I knew Naruto was because when we first met I kept wanting to jump his bones randomly." Kyuubi's eyes then widened once she realized what she had said, "…And I shouldn't have said that out loud." She must have been more tired than she thought.

"_Bow chicka wow wo-… damn it Obito-oji."_

"Forget that." Kyuubi said abruptly, "Why are you talking about them anyway?"

"_Because Naruto goes on missions all over the place all of the time and he's used his ascended form twice. If word ever gets around to those guys they'll know how to find him, and he leaves the country a lot so there might not be anyone around to watch his back. I just wanted to give him a heads up so maybe I'll tell him tomorrow."_

"There's no need." Kyuubi chirped, trying to sound perky and bright despite the sinking feeling in the pit of her gut, "I'll either tell him in the morning or if he doesn't have any bars then either I'll tell him when he gets home. Is that alright?"

She could almost see Sasuke shrugging, _"That's good with me as long as it gets to him I guess. It's between you two anyway, I'm just relaying some information from Itachi's contact that he told me about. Remember if anything actually comes of this crap to call me though if you need help."_

'You can't help Sasuke… no one can help.' Kyuubi thought to herself as she gave a sad smile that couldn't be seen, "Thank you Sasuke, you're a good friend. It's probably nothing, but I'll tell him. Good night."

"_Later."_

And with that the conversation between the two ended. Kyuubi set her phone back on her nightstand and curled up in her bed, pulling her covers all the way up to her throat for some sort of comfort or defense against what she was feeling, "No… we ran all that way just to get away from them. Mom and dad said we'd be safe in Konoha." She tried to calm herself with other thoughts.

She still had her mother and father. She had friends here that were good people, friends that were very skilled fighters in their own right. She had a boyfriend that had an entire private military company at his back. She lived in a village with an actual police force to keep the peace and protect people. And her aforementioned boyfriend would jump into the maw of hell itself for her with a smile on his face if it was ever truly needed.

But she had seen in the past that all of that still meant next to nothing. Living in Konoha was a nice little daydream. For nine months she was able to feel safe again, and it was nice. Things were almost normal. She was almost normal.

_Almost_. Because all of the things she had just thought about to settle her nerves didn't matter. It never mattered before and in the end it wouldn't matter because she could never just let it fade from her mind. They would find her family just like they found her relatives, they would find her too, and not her, not Sasuke, not Naruto… no one would be able to stop them because no one ever did. She was surprised that Sasuke even knew enough about them to warn her because they were very good at keeping things secret, at hiding in plain sight.

But he never did name them, so in the end he didn't know anything at all. Not enough to help when push came to shove. She and her ilk were just monsters to them and all that any half-demon could do was run.

There was no hiding. Once they found you a single time they would be like bloodhounds and they would locate you again somehow even if it took years.

There was always the option to fight, but their numbers were a legion and eventually you would fall just like most of her clan did; they knew specifically how to bring half-demons down. And every number that you managed to cut down in defense of yourself would bring at least two more in the fallen's place, affirming your place as a monster in the eyes of the fallen's loved ones and sealing their desire for revenge against any half-demon.

And their 'Gods' wanted to 'save the world' by way of outright genocide, the selective extermination of all half-demons and those with demonic lineage.

Kyuubi shut her eyes and tried to sleep away her own thoughts on the matter, but she knew she wouldn't be getting any rest that night, "'The 'Red Dawn' will bring about a new daybreak that will cleanse the world.'" She said, quoting words that used to haunt her dreams as a tear slid down her cheek, "Akatsuki…"

Those words would probably haunt them on this night as well… and many nights indefinitely.

* * *

Omake: Origins 1

**How Naruto Met Sasuke**

(December 29, 2004 – Six Years before Storyline Begins – Naruto Uzumaki: Age 8/Sasuke Uchiha: Age 8/ Itachi Uchiha: Age 14)

A healthily tan little blonde boy with whisker-marks on his cheeks sat on a bench in a rather large and empty cell with a single toilet and sink within. He wore a red winter coat, an orange skull cap, and little blue jeans. If you hadn't guessed by now his name was Naruto Uzumaki.

Naruto was pretty scared at the moment, being that he was sitting in a holding cell in one of Konoha's police stations scattered around the city for convenience. He supposed it could have been worse though; he could have been in there with actual criminals. He himself wasn't a criminal in the least, no sir.

It wasn't his fault that Kakashi-nii, Obito-nii, and Rin-neechan were out of town on a rather long mission at the moment. Who else was going to give him money to feed himself? He went through his entire fridge and cabinets in the first week, stupid him… he'd never do that again.

Okay so when he was shoplifting maybe grabbing the bag of beef jerky was akin to splurging, but it was Christmastime and New Years' season. It was time for celebrating wasn't it? Stupid bag ruffled inside of his coat and it was just his luck that the manager, the only person in the store that would have cared if he had stolen anything, was on register. When Naruto reached up to put his decoy pack of gum on the conveyor belt he knew he was busted from the unnatural noise his coat made before his gum was even scanned.

Naturally, not willing to give up his hard-earned goodies he booked it out of the store. But that manager had to have practiced recreational track at some point in his life because he was nipping at Naruto's heels before he even reached his escape points on the streets, _his heels_! If he could chase Naruto down then the bastard was seriously fast. Too bad he couldn't fight as well as he could run once Naruto decided that he wasn't going to shake him and turned to handle his business.

And now he was locked up for assault. But the man wasn't going to press charges since there was no way he was going to court to convict a little kid that knocked him out. He would never live that down if he did so, so Naruto was going home eventually.

For now he was in holding, but it wouldn't be that bad.

They would feed him while he was there wouldn't they?

Maybe jail wasn't so bad.

At that moment, a teenager came walking in front of Naruto's cell leading a little boy that must have been related to him somehow. The teenager was tall, at least by Naruto's diminutive standards. He had black hair that he had in a ponytail, tear troughs under his eyes, and onyx eyes that were a lot like those really fast super cops that caught Naruto in the first place. He wore a simple back shirt with an upturned collar, a black pair of pants, and a combat vest that all officers in the field were given.

The little boy had on a pair of black shorts and a grey shirt. He had black hair that looked like a bird's backside, something Naruto snickered silently at, and had black eyes like his relative. He looked like he had just been working out or training. Either or.

"You see Sasuke." The larger teenage boy said, "Just because you're a child doesn't mean that you don't have to obey the law. You can be put in here just as easily as any adult you've seen me or any of the others arrest. Just like little Naruto-kun here." He ignored Naruto's pronounced frown at the fact that a stranger was dropping his name like he knew him personally.

Naruto took the use of his name as an excuse to speak, "Hey, mister cop guy." Naruto said rather lamely as he hopped off of the bench and walked towards the bars, "Is there any chance of me getting any food while I'm here?"

The teen just stared at Naruto as the little boy clutched the bars and looked up at him curiously. The older boy crouched down to Naruto's level right by the bars, "Hello Naruto-kun. You know that you're in trouble don't you? That what you did was wrong?" Naruto looked away from him but was able to nod, "Well when you do things like that then an officer is assigned to you to make sure you stay out of trouble and keep from doing crimes in the future, they're called parole officers. And I believe that you're to be assigned to me. My name is Itachi Uchiha, and this is my little brother Sasuke. He's a trainee."

Naruto hadn't seen a cop as young as Itachi, and he didn't know that little kids could be police trainees. Maybe he should look into that… he wondered if they paid better than mercenaries did, "So am I going to prison… like in Midnight Express? Because I _really_ don't want to go to prison." Naruto said with large puppy-dog eyes and a shiver at the thought of going to prison like in that movie.

Itachi raised an eyebrow, 'Who the hell showed him Midnight Express? What is he, eight?' Instead of asking Naruto that, Itachi just shook his head, "No prison. You're just going to be here to learn a lesson and then we'll let you go. Now did you learn anything yet?"

"Yes." Naruto said with a big grin and a firm nod, 'I learned that if I think I need to steal stuff, I need to steal stuff closer to Kaisha Hein because nobody chases me into there. Mercenaries are super-tough and they let me in for some reason. Maybe because of Kakashi-nii, Obito-nii, and Rin-neechan.' His stomach then growled loudly, getting a blush out of the boy.

Itachi shook his head and stood up, leaving the area, "I'll see if I can find you something to snack on. No one here at the moment can cook so you'll have to wait for a bit. Sasuke stay here for a bit with Naruto-kun."

Sasuke, the other little boy, watched Itachi leave before directing his dark eyes at Naruto who was still holding onto the bars. Both boys just stared at each other for the longest time, not saying anything to one another. Eventually the silence got awkward and Naruto put a deadpan look on his whisker-marked features. What the hell was this kid staring at? And just as Naruto opened his mouth to ask him this, Sasuke fired first, "Hm, dobe." He said with an impassive face.

Naruto just raised an eyebrow with a slacked jaw. What did he just call him? Did he just call him 'dead-last'? That was so uncalled for, the little piece of-, "Fuck you, you mini-donut hole stuffing little dickhead!" Naruto said as he pressed his face against the bar as if he could squeeze through and get to Sasuke. Thank you Obito-nii for the colorful choice of vocabulary.

"What did you say to me jailbird?" Sasuke fired back, pressing his forehead against the bars, same as Naruto, "Repeat that for me again!"

"You heard me super-trooper." Naruto growled out, in close proximity to Sasuke, "If you can't hear then you can come in here and I can clear your ears out with my fists."

"You sure do run your mouth a lot." Sasuke said with a smirk before turning confidently away from the cell, "If I went in there I would flush your head right down that toilet…"

"Whatever Deputy…" Naruto cracked in reply, turning away from the bars as well, "Now go and get your 'sheriff' big brother back in here so I can talk to someone smart." And there it was. Comparing the kid to Itachi, who was apparently his brother, ticked Sasuke off. That was going to be fun to mess with.

The two boys stared at each other heatedly and when Itachi walked back in with a hot cup of chicken-flavored instant ramen he could feel the tension between them, 'Wow… is that killing intent?'

Little did any of them know that it would be the start of the most dysfunctional, yet sincere friendship ever recorded.

* * *

**Chapter complete. This one took a while to put out, but it will be back in the regular rotation because I know how I want to play up to certain plot points I've come up with.**

**So Akatsuki exists in this story, only it's different… different yet somewhat the same. Later you'll see what I mean by that. I figure in two more chapters we'll get into the beginning of that and other cool stuff as well. **

**Hey, when I listed that this was going to be epic I meant that it would be long as shit. We haven't even really started yet. Since I was basically piecing this world together from scratch with the Naruto canon as a reference tool of sorts it would take a while before things became clear enough in time with the basics of the world for me to really begin.**

**Due to most of the overall originality that will be going into the plot, this is still my favorite story to write by the way even if its support somewhat pales in comparison to the others. It's a niche story for a niche crowd and I'm okay with that, yeah?**

**Anyway, I'll catch you all later when I update something else that you read. Hope you enjoyed and keep any questions you might want to ask potentially spoiler free if you could. I don't want to give you anything big that I have planned in case anyone is interested in this story.**

**Until next time friends, Kenchi out.**


	41. Get Your Hands Dirty

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Time to come up with another new Wile E. Coyote-style plan that will inevitably end with me possessing the franchise I'll call it plan AA. I can do it. My insanity has to be good for something productive doesn't it?

**Chapter 41: Get Your Hands Dirty**

* * *

It had been two days since the scouting mission of Gato's mansion and the overall plan of action was set for how they were going to get to Gato's stored money. Naruto found himself crawling through a tunnel roughly the size of a person with lanterns hung periodically for lighting purposes, "Ugh… damn Kakashi-nii." He said before bumping his head on a support beam, "I know we're on the clock here but you could have patched this thing up a little better couldn't you?"

As he kept crawling through the tunnel the sounds of rapid scratching and the moving of earth filled his ears, signifying that he was close to where he was intending to go. Eventually he came upon the sight of dogs of all sizes and appearances digging as fast as they could, making the tunnel further and further. The thing that all of the dogs had in common were the blue vests with the face-shaped designs on their backs that they all wore. Helping to direct how things were being worked was an older man with a goatee and white hair wearing glasses and barking orders to The dogs and Kakashi. The man was Tazuna, Kaiza's father in law.

"Hey Naruto." Kakashi said as he put up another set of support beams in the tunnel, "How are things up in the world with sunlight?" He asked jokingly, having been down there for the last two days straight.

"Kaiza's got his guys all ready to roll once we set this whole thing off." Naruto said, goggles down over his face so that the dogs didn't send any dirt or anything flying into his eyes, "Man you're working the dogs hard aren't you?"

Kakashi looked at his steadily digging dogs operating in shifts, "Yeah… but they know I'm grateful and I'm going to reward them once they finish digging to where we need the tunnel to be. So how ready are we?"

Naruto sat down on the dirt floor of the tunnel and let out a sigh at getting a break. He had been working almost nonstop himself getting down the timing for the plan properly, "We're ready whenever. We just need to wait for a lull in the patrol. I've got a good time for it." Naruto said with a grin, "Saturday nights a third of Gato's men are granted a furlough in town. Tons of them go and that's when most of the stuff that pisses people off about them happens. They're just a bunch of drunken, drugged up jackasses at that time. The ones left behind are lax and I heard from a delivery guy that they just hang around the guardhouse most of the time."

"I thought that was bad." Kakashi said, after earlier being told by Tenten from her briefing from contractors that the guardhouse held Gato's alert to the daimyo that would bring down an army's wrath if it were to be set off and they didn't necessarily have the bridge to escape from once the place went on lockdown.

"No, no, no." Naruto said ecstatically, "It's great, since they can't leave all they do on weekends is get tore up. Gato doesn't care since no one's getting around or over his security system… and he's right. We can't set foot on his property without it, but Tenten's got a way around that. We need him to turn it off."

Kakashi gave Naruto a deadpan look, "Why would he possibly ever turn his security system off?"

"Ask Tenten." Naruto said waving him off, "But once we do that we can get in while the distraction goes on outside the gate. Kaiza's men are going to launch an attack that you need to be there for to keep them safe. Also this needs to look legit, like attacking him is what we really want. He can't know that we're going to rob the shit out of him until we've got everything."

The two just sat silently from that point forward as Kakashi just stared at Naruto. Only the sound of digging could be heard in the tunnel at the time until Kakashi spoke up, "Just how many people have you robbed that you two can work something like this out? I'm not even in the planning, you're using me for manual labor."

"Do you want to hear about all of them or just the ones that Itachi knows I did?" Naruto said in a dead serious voice as they continued to just sit there aimlessly while the dogs kept digging.

XxX

(A While Later – Kaiza's House)

Tenten sat down tapping away on the laptop she had packed to take with her from home with a look of focus on her face. Kaiza was out helping the men volunteering for assisting in the operation to get outfitted accordingly. This left her, the beautiful and docile housewife Tsunami, and Inari who was staring at her from a place on the couch in the living room, not that the girl sitting across from him was paying any mind, "Do you really think whatever your plan is will work?" He asked, trying to cut her down.

"Yep." Tenten said, without taking her eyes off of the screen, "If we didn't think we could we would have called for backup as soon as possible. Getting in is the hardest part, and we're pretty much all over that." The rhythmic sound of her fingers drumming off of the keyboard in rapid taps almost became hypnotic after a while, "And Naruto better be coming back with what _I_ need too. It better be good quality ones too."

With that the door flew open and Naruto walked in carrying a large cardboard box filled with smaller boxes, "Okay, this better work and you'd better reimburse me." He said as he set the box down on the floor, "They were over 36000 ryo in all. That's like a fourth of what I'm actually making once we split up the pay, and that's if it's even in the first place. Kakashi-nii's probably going to take the lion's share."

Tenten lifted a hand from her keyboard to wave him off, "Yeah, yeah. I hear you, whatever." She then stopped typing and shut the computer before walking over to the cardboard box and looking at one of the devices Naruto had purchased, an RC car and other RC vehicles, "I told you not to get the cheap stuff." She chided.

Inari looked at the box in disbelief, "Toys? Are you kidding me? Why the heck are you buying toys? I knew you guys wouldn't take this seriously… You're going to get dad killed with your know-it-all useless mercenary stuff!"

"Shut up kid. Seriously. It's better than running up to the front gate with a crossbow." Naruto said to Inari to get him off their case before a glare came from the thoroughly broke Naruto at Tenten, lucky that he had more money waiting in the wings once he returned home, "Those cost 6000 each… without tax. Bite me."

She reached into the box and pulled out an RC helicopter with a sigh, "They'll do I guess. For what I'm using them for we'll never see them again anyway so who really cares? I just hope they don't crap out on us halfway through."

"We're never getting this crap within fifty feet of his place." Naruto said, picking up another RC helicopter, "You just made me waste my money Tenten, not cool. Or did you not forget that his place is kept with motion detectors all over?"

Tenten looked at him with a wry grin on her face, "Yeah I know, but you're going to beat that with your number one ability; being annoying. With the moves that you have I'm sure you can pull it off. How good is your Henge? Turn into something little, like a squirrel." With a hand-seal or two, Naruto did just that flawlessly. Tenten picked him up and looked him over before setting him back down, "Yeah that's perfect."

Another puff of smoke led to Naruto transforming back to normal, much to Inari's shock and awe, "W-What are you people? You're so weird!"

Tenten walked over to Inari and pinched his cheek, "We'll take that as a compliment, because if we weren't weird we wouldn't make any real money doing this job. The weird ones are the best at this." She looked towards Naruto with her hands on her hips, "How's the tunnel coming along?"

"It'll be ready by Saturday night." Naruto said, taking a seat on the couch near Tenten's laptop, "Can you break into that vault yet or what? I don't feel like waiting around here an extra week just on you." A couch pillow was then thrown at his head.

"I was just taking care of that." Tenten said, unplugging her phone's USB connection from her laptop and putting it in her pocket, "As long as I have my phone with me we can get into the vault in under a minute. I have a program that'll automatically crack his code with a 'phone call' so we're good. Now we just wait until Saturday." Her tone was quite cheerful and confident about getting in and out easily.

Inari couldn't believe how casually these two were talking about the whole thing. As if it would only take one real move to get Gato out of their country. He had rooted himself into the nation's infrastructure after a year and they thought they could uproot him? These people that didn't know anything about the country were about to run up against him intentionally, "You guys don't care anything about this. Why are you people here? Why are you doing this?"

Naruto and Tenten looked at each other before Naruto spoke up to answer the seemingly distraught boy. Why he was distraught they had no idea, "Because we're getting paid well. That's all the reason we really need. It's our job to fight other people's battles for them."

"We wish we could say it's because of some hero's complex…" Tenten admitted, stretching her arms out over her head before taking a seat on the same couch as Naruto to get back to her laptop, "But we'd never know that since if it weren't for the mission we wouldn't know this was happening to you all."

"B-But what if you die?" Inari asked them both as he walked over to the pair.

Naruto simply gave him a deadpan look in return, "I got myself beaten half to death for a bottle of water that I didn't even get to drink. I'll die for your country if I have to kid. It's a better reason to fight than I've had in a little while." He pat the boy on the head, pushing his hat down over his eyes in the process.

"Even though we're only going to make a small amount compared to what we'll be stealing?" Tenten said with a grin on her face knowing that Naruto was rather money oriented on the border of greed at times. It was kind of funny since he usually wound up spending a lot of money, some of it on some of her creations.

A firm nod came from Naruto, "Yeah, I'll just have to pick up the slack with a bunch of bum jobs later when we get home. It's not like I have to pay any rent or anything, I've paid up for an entire year already. It's not about the money really." He would have said it was for the love of the job, but part of his job was to kill and that would have sounded creepy even to Tenten.

Inari looked down, keeping his gaze and most of his face away from Naruto and Tenten, "So you're saying that your lives are basically worth money? Then how much will it take to make you all leave!"

"No amount." Tenten said, shaking her head with a frown, wondering what this kid's problem with them was. They had work to do, "We signed a contract. It's not only our word that binds us to the mission, it's the reputation of our entire PMC, all of Kaisha Hein."

"Fine!" Inari finally snapped, stomping his way out of the room, "Go and get yourself killed like dad's going to! I don't care!"

The young boy's storm out of the room was caught as he went through the kitchen and passed his mother Tsunami who walked into the living room to look at the confused teenage mercenaries, "I'm sorry about him. He's really taken the whole 'down with Gato' movement badly. He doesn't see any reason to fight because we've got this house and we've got the bar. We have the means to make money in this environment. Kaiza sees that no one else does and people are suffering."

"It's okay." Naruto said as he began helping Tenten take the RC vehicles out of the box, "He doesn't have to like me for us to get the job done. I like Kaiza. He's a cool guy, and I'm not just saying that because he's paying us and we're sleeping in your house." Tenten thumped him on the back of the head getting a growl out of him, "Fine, you fix these things up yourself."

As he got up to leave, Tenten paid him no mind, "That's okay with me, you'd just break them anyway. Go help Kakashi-taichou finish digging the tunnel. You seem like a dumb muscle, manual labor kind of guy."

Naruto muttered to himself as he walked toward the front door and opened it to leave.

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Naruto's Apartment)

"Now go ahead and read that back to me. I want to hear how it sounds." Sasuke said as he steadily punched and kicked away at a heavy bag set up in the living room corner of Naruto's apartment, not caring much for form, just wanting to hit something as hard as he could, "I really think that my letter of resignation to Itachi on training the interns is eloquent and gets my point across; I understand that it's important for making new recruits, but I cannot allow you to make me your bitch for demonstrations and the like. I have a reputation."

Kyuubi had been sitting in the main entertainment square of the living room laying on the longest couch with a notepad in her grasp when she heard Sasuke talk, "Oh, I'm sorry you wanted me to write that down?" She lifted it to show him a decently drawn picture of a car bursting into flames in a fiery explosion, "I thought you were just practicing to get the guts to tell him in person. But this is good right?" She asked with a toothy grin before making an explosion-mimicking noise.

Sasuke just gave her a deadpan look before absently punching the heavy bag one more time, "I would set you on fire, but this is Naruto's new place and you'd probably like that. It might remind you of home I mean, the devil lives in hell doesn't she?"

"That's just mean Sasuke." Kyuubi said with a pout on her face as she crossed her arms, "Just because I'm a half-demon does not mean I'm related in any way to the devil… even though I am fire-elemental by nature, but that's just a family coincidence really." She then tossed the notepad to the side haplessly, "And you're really going to quit your assignment? What about Sakura? She's doing that whole thing for you just so you know."

"I already figured." Sasuke said, delivering one kick to the bag before spinning off and walking away to the kitchen to raid his best friend's fridge, "And she's not doing a bad job all things considered, but trying to get me to like her just because of that… it's just not going to work."

Sitting up and leaning over the back of the couch to stare at Sasuke, Kyuubi placed her hand on her cheek, "You've got to just take a step back and lower your expectations for the girls around you. I mean, they all can't be as wonderful as me." A tick mark appeared on her head at hearing Sasuke's nearly silent scoff, "Just date her or Ino one time and if you hate it then leave it alone. What do you have to lose?"

Sasuke turned around from his spot in the kitchen and just stared his best friend's girl down to the point where it almost unnerved her. He then raised his voice to a high-pitched girl's voice and began a narrative, "Oh my summer was so great. So what did you do during the summer Ino?" He switched sides and began narrating from Ino's side, "Ah! You'll never believe it, _I_ got a date with Sasuke-kun!" He then let out a series of high-pitched babbling squeals mimicking the possible reactions of other girls, "He's finally putting himself on the market! Let's go corner him and hit on him relentlessly, taking his uncomfortably tense silence and stoicism as an endorsement of our actions!"

"-And scene." Kyuubi said before breaking into a slow clap, "That's just great. I think if Kiba were here he'd try to beat you up. Don't boys like being fawned over by women?"

"Naruto says I'm a jaded pretty boy because it's all I've ever known. There's no substance, no real reason to take any of them up on the offer." Was the defense from Sasuke as he looked back in the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of vegetable juice, "I've been a functional mute in front of all of them for the past seven years, the picture of a prick, and they don't even call me on it. I don't want to date a robot, if I get a girl I want her to have some backbone damn it."

"Hinata-chan has backbone." Kyuubi commented randomly while flopping back on her couch.

Sasuke nodded as he walked back over to the entertainment area, taking a sip of his drink, "Yeah she does. She helped me out big time even when I told her to leave during that fight in the park. She got me shot, but she ended up killing the bastard herself. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen a girl do, even cooler then when you helped me fight Raiga because she saved me and not the other way around."

A smirk crawled its way onto Kyuubi's face as Sasuke plopped down in an armchair and flipped the TV on, "So you don't think that Hinata-chan is overbearing like the girls at our school." She let silence reign between them as Sasuke flipped through random channels before she spoke up abruptly, "Okay, I guess I'll ask her if she'd let you take her out then."

The only thing that kept Sasuke from spitting his drink out was that he knew he'd have to clean it later or die by Naruto's hands. He glared at Kyuubi with his Sharingan on as she looked away from him and laughed. Damn, no threatening her with a genjutsu, "You tell her that and I'll get you locked up."

"I don't even do anything illegal. That's Naruto-kun." Kyuubi said in full amusement at Sasuke's reaction. Of course she'd never do anything like that, it simply went past the realm of good-natured teasing and she wasn't into messing with people that hard, "Oh don't make a face like that. I won't tell her anything, I promise. But you'd better get some guts if you really do like her."

She had a point. He had no problems with attempting to hunt down a man that was noted for human experimentation just for the notoriety it would bring his career, but he wouldn't ask out a sweet girl like Hinata. There was something ironic about that, "Fine. I'll work on it, just keep quiet until I do. Speaking of significant others did you call the Dobe you call a boyfriend yet about what I talked to you about last night?"

Bringing up the topic of the late-night phone call from last night got Kyuubi to bite down on her bottom lip nervously, not that Sasuke was looking as his attention was back on the TV, "No. No, he's still got no signal for me to reach him at. I'll try again later."

Sasuke nodded, accepting the answer, "Good, because I don't really want to get all scare tactics on you, but from what Itachi told me this could be some bad news. I think they're called Akatsuki and I know it's regional, but Itachi said that they're moving further out into other countries. A run-in with those guys seems nasty for someone like him or you. I just want you guys to know one way or the other."

"Message received." Kyuubi said, wishing that he would just talk about something else. She honestly didn't want to talk about them. She had gotten enough of the Akatsuki group to last her several lifetimes and she hadn't even told her family what Sasuke had told her yet. She kept trying to wish that it was just hearsay and that they wouldn't spread as far into Hi no Kuni as their city. She didn't want to face it for as long as she could.

XxX

(Nami no Kuni – One Day Later – Saturday – Nightfall)

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day the alarm system on Gato's premises went off, and since nightfall it had gone off a record twenty-seven times only to show nothing when his forces went to check on the intrusion.

Needless to say he had long since lost the patience to deal with the klaxon blaring every ten minutes, "Those goddamn Podunk, backwater contractors fucked me over good! I paid them good money to set my system up! Tomorrow morning, first thing I'm calling back to the mainland. Maybe then I can get some actual skilled workers to get everything together! Turn the goddamn system off!"

He still had the men scouring the land with spotlights and he still had guards in the barracks. No one in the area had the intestinal fortitude to attack his home because if his men didn't kill or torture them for the idiotic idea a quick alarm button press and the daimyo would send his men out to help him. All he had to do was keep up with the bribery.

And he had more than enough money to go around.

XxX

(Outside of Gato's Mansion)

Kakashi sat in hiding outside of the range of Gato's mansion premises with over one hundred and fifty of Kaiza's men armed for combat. At the moment, dozens of small nocturnal mammals were running back over the open field to the outskirts of the property and routinely popping into small puffs of smoke.

Shaking his head in amusement/amazement, Kakashi spoke lowly, but loud enough for Kaiza and some of his men to hear him, "I can't believe that asinine plan actually worked to get the alarm turned off." Some of the armed Nami no Kuni men let out chuckles at that, "It shouldn't be that long now then." He said as he pulled his cell phone out and speed dialed a number, "I know you know already, but the first part of the plan worked. Get started on the second phase, we'll move at the signal."

"_Good luck Kaka-nii/Kakashi-taichou."_

"Maa…" Kakashi said sheepishly to the two younger fighters on the other line, "I've got the easy part, I'll be fine. You two are the ones that are going to be in the hornet's nest. Don't be reckless now."

XxX

(Underground Tunnels)

Tunnels beneath the ground had been hollowed out and had supports put up for miles from a point outside of Gato's property. Currently, Naruto and Tenten sat at the end of what had been dug by Kakashi's hounds beneath a hatch above them that lead to the upper world, "We'll be okay Kakashi-taichou." Tenten said as she had an above ground image of Gato's entire home on her laptop monitor courtesy of the RC helicopter with a camera affixed to it, "Just make sure you keep Kaiza-san and the others as safe as you can."

The phone was hung up and from her laptop Tenten forced the helicopter to land on Gato's dark room. A few punches on her keyboard and the feed switched to a ground level, looking through the grass. Taking a few moments to adjust the height of the tiny camera, Tenten then began to drive the small vehicle through the grass, easily avoiding the spotlights of the wall guards as the car made its way past them into the heart of the property.

"Don't crash." Naruto said suddenly in warning, eliciting a glare from Tenten as she continued to steer the RC car from her laptop, "I'm just saying… we're using explosives here and those aren't exactly stable. If you crash it might blow up before you get it there."

"We have three." Tenten remarked as she focused on steering, but she saw his point. If one blew up before they got it to where they needed it to be then the guards would probably be able to alert the daimyo's forces and the jig would be up for everyone, "Just get loose and keep quiet. I know what I'm doing." As she said that, the RC car reached the front stairs of the guardhouse and bumped into them, getting a cringe out of Tenten. That was not where she wanted the car to blow. Turning to Naruto she silenced any comment he was about to make, "Shut your mouth or I'll stab it shut."

Holding up his hands defensively, Naruto backed away and sat on the ground a little ways away from his partner. He would be good lest Tenten go through with her threat and give him a much unneeded or unwanted piercing. At least she said she'd stab his mouth shut though, she didn't threaten something nearer and dearer to him (and lower) that women seemed to like declaring violence against.

A grin crossed Tenten's face when the door to the guardhouse opened and a drunken guard stumbled out, bumping his foot against the RC car. He seemed to think that the little toy was cool and decided to bring it into the building to show it off.

"_Where the fuck's the remote control for this stupid thing?"_ Tenten heard over the monitor from the guard, _"Hey, check this out, some brat lost a pretty expensive looking toy! It's mine now hehehe!"_

Tenten tilted her head curiously as the car was brought through a corridor with a control panel, "Hey, does that look like the thing we're supposed to be taking out?" Naruto moved over to the screen in a hurry and squinted to see, nodding once he got a look, "Okay…" Tenten said, punching in a code on the keyboard, "Kaboom then." The camera then cut out and the two teenage mercenaries felt the ground shake, sending down crumbs of dirt from the tunnel.

"Was it supposed to be that strong?" Naruto said, commenting on the blast, "I didn't put that much Semtex in the RC car did I?"

Not knowing how much he put in the vehicles, Tenten blinked before asking the obvious question, "Okay… well how much did you put in the vehicles?"

"Enough to line the entire inside of the chassis."

Tenten palmed her face and without looking switched the feed of the laptop to go back to the helicopter that had been on Gato's roof, "Yes Naruto that was too much, way too much. I use one seventh of what you used when I use Semtex in fights. You owe me explosives." She said as she guided the helicopter into one of the spotlights, punching in the code as the camera feed went out and another explosion shook the ground, "A lot of explosives."

XxX

(With Kakashi)

The blast that took out the main spotlight was large and loud enough that every one of the outside force stared at it in awe and surprise, "Wow…" Kakashi said to himself, "Do you think you put enough of a charge into that one kids?" He said sarcastically while rolling his single visible eye.

"Alright boys, this is what we've been waiting for!" Kaiza yelled to rally the men, getting a unanimous excited cheer from them all, "We've got real life mercenaries here and this is the night Gato learns that he can't just take our livelihood away from us, he can't make us into a country of beggars without a fight!" The men all lifted their clubs, spears, swords, crossbows and other weapons that they outfitted themselves with for a fight, "Now charge!"

With that, the one hundred and fifty plus men ran directly at Gato's mansion, surprising the few men on the walls that had already been alerted by the random explosion that had just recently occurred. Those with crossbows shot them down off of the walls as they yelled out an alert to the other guards around the premises and the fight was on.

Gato's lawns became a battlefield with the regular folk that had been pushed too far for an entire year trying to take out their frustrations and grievances against Gato's armed thugs who were beside themselves with anger that these fisherman and other small businessmen that they considered stupid hicks thought they could actually do something like this to men like them. If they wanted a fight then they'd get one. That's what thugs like them were best at anyway. It was why they were being paid so well.

Too bad for the short-sighted fools that the battle wasn't really what they were there to do.

XxX

(With Naruto and Tenten)

From a spot on Gato's back lawn, near the guardhouse where smoke and fire billowed out and men caught off guard were sprinting out to get away from the flames, possibly to join the battle in session, a small, manhole-sized patch of grass and dirt lifted up from the ground to reveal Tenten's brown eyes peering around cautiously, "Okay, boost me all the way up and let's get this over with." She whispered back down to Naruto who carefully lifted her higher, letting her crawl out of the tunnel and pull him up before they were spotted.

As much as Naruto's blood was demanding he jump into the fray that was occurring all over the place both he and Tenten had an actual job to do. Both of them evaded sight from Gato's forces and slipped inside of the mansion, not needing to bother with stealth as they just kicked the door in.

Upon entering, one of Gato's men coming down the stairs from upstairs caught sight of them, but Tenten hit him right in the chest with a quick kunai that sent him slumping to the ground and falling down the stairs.

Instead of taking the time to lord over the quick kill, both Tenten and Naruto kept running through the house according to the blueprint of it that Tenten memorized prior to the attack, "His stupid vault is in the basement."

"Why can't it be upstairs?" Naruto complained as they ran through the kitchen where several of Gato's men trying to cut through the house to get to the real battle outside saw them. Without a second thought, Naruto jumped over a counter and kicked two of them in the face while Tenten quickly rifled through nearby drawers for cutlery to use as makeshift weapons.

While Naruto used his youki-generated claws to cut down two of the thugs, Tenten finally found a pair of large butcher knives and chucked them across the room, hitting one man right in the chest where he backed against the refrigerator and slid to the ground dead, another hitting a different in his bicep when he turned to avoid a fatal hit. It didn't save him from Naruto's quickly formed Rasengan that slammed him into a nearby wall hard enough to crack it.

Tenten kicked the last of the thugs into a door hard enough to break it down, sending him down a flight of stairs where he certainly wouldn't be getting back up, "Hey… I found the way to the basement."

Nodding to himself, Naruto then pointed upstairs, "You do that. I'm going to go upstairs and outside to raise hell to make sure nobody goes down there to mess with you." Before he could turn and leave he found that Tenten had grabbed a hold of his ear and began dragging him down the stairs, "Ow! Oh come on Tenten, that sounds like a good idea!"

"Not really." Tenten said dryly as she kept dragging him through the basement corridor at the bottom of the steps, "Even if you left a clone or two to watch my back how much use would they really be? All you'd try to do would be to find Gato anyway. That's not the mission." Eventually they came upon a massive shut vault door, "That's the mission."

As Tenten quickly whipped the bag on her back off to pull out her laptop and get it set up to the vault, Naruto plopped down on the floor facing down the corridor to keep an eye out for anyone that would come down and try to disrupt Tenten's work on opening the door, "Fine. Just hurry up and crack it so we can get the hell out of here." He said irritably with a slight growl to his voice.

"Wow, someone needs to get laid to take the edge off." Tenten remarked in a cavalier manner as she finished hooking her laptop into the vault's system. It was only a matter of time now for her computer to match the code for the vault and finish hacking into it.

"No shit. It's been a week." Naruto said, drumming his fingertips off of his biceps as he had his arms crossed. A fight might calm him down, but that was probably only going to be a temporary fix. Man he wished he had been outside. Why couldn't Kakashi be the one to be on the in-team?

XxX

(Moments Earlier – Upstairs in Gato's Mansion)

Gato shakily held a small knife in his hand as he looked outside of his window to see the pitched battle being waged down below. It was just too close to him personally for him to feel comfortable. It was quite obvious that the knife held no actual use. If a time came when he actually had to use it there wouldn't be any chance of that cowardly rat walking away from the encounter.

"What am I paying you for damn it?" Gato yelled at his katana wielding guards that were sticking close to him, "I forked over an arm and a leg for that specialist from Mizu no Kuni! He was supposed to be the best!"

"Keep your panties on you toad. You've got to let the bloodshed percolate for a bit. No use in stepping into a battle from the beginning… I'd end it in a heartbeat. Enjoy the carnage, I do."

The dangerous sounding voice sent a shiver down the spine of Gato and his guards, "Y-You're going to fight back right? You're going to protect me? That's your job!"

"Whatever." A tall, broad man said as he left the doorway of Gato's room, a visible bandaged bundle on his back with a skull-tipped handle sticking out of it, "Just make sure that check of yours doesn't bounce." With that he slammed the door shut and his footsteps echoed down the hall.

Gato and his guards stood in silence for a while until the footsteps faded out completely, "Why the hell are mercenaries from that place so messed up in the head?"

"He can be as messed up as he wants to be." Gato said, wiping the nervous sweat from his brow, "That man is a monster… those swordsmen are absolute animals… and that's why I hired him as the ultimate muscle."

XxX

(Outside the Mansion – With Kakashi)

It was more or less child's play for Kakashi to keep his head in the battle between the two sides. Even without a weapon he was beating Gato's thugs that were stupid enough to attack him in one to four hits per person. He turned and headed towards Kaiza who was doing rather well for himself with his spear as his weapon of choice, "How are your men doing?" He asked the fisherman.

"The bastards killed five of us so far, but we got the drop on them." Kaiza said, blocking a club strike from one of Gato's men with the pole of his spear. A twist of the weapon forced the club out of the thug's hands as Kaiza smashed the pole into his face and finished by stabbing him in the body, "That was five for me. We're running right through them."

"You're only on five?" Kakashi said as he dashed past Kaiza and stopped two men with cleavers in their hands by holding them by the wrists, "These two will make… I'd say twenty-six and twenty-seven for me." He seemed to offend the two men that he managed to stop with that remark.

"Who do you think you are you-?" One belligerent thug was cut off from finishing his statement when Kakashi planted them both face first in the ground and defeated them both with follow-up stomps.

Kaiza grumbled irritably at Kakashi's show of superiority in battle, "Yeah, well I'm not a trained super-soldier like yourself, I'm just a guy that catches fish. I think even your kids that you keep with you could outfight me." He said, taking a minute to catch his breath after having fought for nearly ten full minutes without reprieve.

An eye-smile came from Kakashi as he threw two kunai at a pair of thugs fighting other Nami no Kuni liberators, hitting them in the backs and bringing them down, "Yes, being trained from the time I could walk kind of did that for me. But get your men to band together. You have ranged fighters correct?" Kaiza nodded, remembering those with crossbows, "Have your melee fighters set up in front of them and provide them protection while they provide a bit of support, the shift of casualties should be massive."

Kaiza nodded and was about to run off to spread the word over the battlefield when a cry of alarm went up from his men, louder than anything else.

"It's a monster!"

"What is this thing? We can't even touch it!"

Narrowing his eyes at the newly registered threat, Kakashi put a hand on Kaiza's shoulder, "Nevermind. Actually I want you to stay as far away from there as you can. If you can, get your men back over towards the guardhouse side of the premises and shore up."

"Why?" Kaiza asked, looking over to where Kakashi was only to widen his eyes as he saw a white, bandaged thing sticking out of the ground like a shark's dorsal fin and rolling through the earth as if it were water, cutting through anyone that found its way in the path of the thing travelling underground, "Okay… are you sure you can handle that thing?"

"Do you want to take my place?" Kakashi asked in amusement, getting Kaiza to begin backing away towards the previously indicated location, "Damn… I was really hoping he was the hero type that was somewhat suicidal… but I would have failed the mission so I guess it balances out." And that meant it was time to meet the juggernaut that was cutting a swatch through anyone that got in his way, either on Gato's side or not, "Let's do this… Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!"

Two more Kakashis appeared at the original's side and charged at the bandaged fin-like thing, trying to surround it in a triangle formation to launch an attack. Once they did though, the ground exploded upward and a tall, muscular looking figure immediately swung a bandaged sword, cutting through Kakashi's clones and forcing the original to jump out of the fray or meet the same grisly fate as his chakra constructs.

The man that appeared from the ground and attacked Kakashi had pale blue skin, small round eyes, markings on his face that looked like gills on his cheeks, and a grin on his face that showed sharp, shark-like teeth. He wore a dark sleeveless shirt and bandages on the upper parts of his arms along with dark pants and grey arm-warmers and leg-warmers above a short pair of boots. In his hand there was a bandaged sword that was uncovered near the top showing it to look like it was covered in scales, "Well you actually dodged my first move. It looks like you're the only person here that's trained worth a damn."

"Me?" Kakashi said in his normal manner as he drew a kunai for defensive purposes, "No, I'm just a simple fisherman like the rest of these guys… and you're one big fish my friend."

"No you're no fisherman…" The strange, blue man said, seemingly ecstatic at finding someone that could fight out of the dregs of the Nami no Kuni liberators that were nothing more than farmers and sailors, "You… you're Kakashi Hatake. What's a famous guy like you doing in a place like this?" He chuckled to himself for a moment as he pointed his weapon at Kakashi, "Samehada is really excited to get a taste of your chakra."

"Samehada…" Kakashi said as if the name/word was supposed to be familiar, and it just so happened that it was, because it was supposed to be a very important sword akin to another important sword that someone he knew very well happened to wield, "Your name is Kisame Hoshigaki isn't it? I know someone that you might remember pretty well, he's a comrade of mine."

Another chuckle left Kisame, "That must be either Zabu-chan or that failure Raiga. Those are the only two that trained with us that ran over to your neck of the woods so to speak and I heard that Raiga got offed already. Is he still a bleeding heart for that girl with the ice-making kekkei genkai? He ran away like a coward and took her with him when the boss ordered him to hand her over for the purges."

"Zabu-chan?" Kakashi thought to himself. He was definitely going to be using that one later once he got home, "Yeah if you're talking about Haku as well then it's definitely him and he told me to show no mercy if I ever ran into anyone else using a special sword like his." With that, Kakashi revealed his single Sharingan eye, prepared for battle.

"Good advice, but he should have given you some better counsel." Kisame said before he rushed Kakashi with blinding speed, the bandages peeling off of Samehada to show its full intimidating form, "He should have told you to just run away!"

The foresight that was given to Kakashi by way of the gift from Obito's eye and his own hard-earned speed allowed him more than enough time to dodge and avoid the attack that would have cut him in half, "Sorry, but I can't retreat here while everyone else is fighting so hard." And while Naruto and Tenten were inside of Gato's house, cut off from knowing what was going on outside he wouldn't just run away even if it was the advised course of action.

A growl of acknowledgement came from Kisame, "I assumed as much. Kaisha Hein is rather notorious for their hero complexes among operatives." He then made the snake seal as his cheeks puffed out to the limit of bursting, "Suiton: Bakusui Shouha (Water Release: Exploding Water Colliding Wave)!" Water flew from Kisame's mouth at an amazing rate, enough to fly at Kakashi in the form of a massive tidal wave.

Dozens of men from both sides of the battle were caught up in the torrent of water that came from Kisame as they found themselves carried by the wave that he navigated atop of Samehada, using the formidable weapon like a surfboard as water seemed to continue pouring from his mouth nonstop.

The sheer volume of the water began to warp the battlefield as the windows of the mansion were broken and water poured inside. Water covered the entire area to the point where Kisame stood in knee-deep water, laughing to himself at the havoc he had wrought with one move.

Four drills of water formed around Kisame and converged on him at once in order to catch him off guard with a sneak attack, "Suiton: Suigadan (Water Release: Water Fang Bullet)!" The four drills crashed together, sending water flying everywhere. Instead of blood being drilled out of Kisame's body though, water flew from his grievous wounds as the rest of him turned to water and fell into the rest of the knee-high water.

Kakashi had been standing on the defensive wall of Gato's compound when he had attacked Kisame and was forced to jump off when a slash from Samehada would have gotten him, 'He avoided my attack by substituting with a water clone.' What a quick counter from someone that hadn't stricken Kakashi as being very defense-oriented.

"You…" Kisame said, tapping Samehada on his own shoulder, "Are going to be very fun for me to fight. Samehada is just itching to get a taste of your chakra." He finished with a maniacal grin.

XxX

(With Naruto and Tenten – Inside Gato's Mansion)

"Come on, come on! Let's get this stuff out and go!" Tenten said, barking orders to the dozen or so Naruto Kage Bunshin running around the safe with bags and bags full of currency and even some with gold bullion. She herself even had several large bags strapped to her front and back to assist in clearing the vault out.

"We're ready to roll already!" The original Naruto said, getting unanimous cries of confirmation from his clones that lined up single file to trot on out of the mansion, "Let's get the hell out of here!" He then led Tenten and his clones up the stairs and through the kitchen, ignoring the floors that were soaked as if a flash flood had hit while trying to make it outside the way that they came in the mansion before coming to a stop.

The stairs leading upstairs near the entrance that they used to enter the building now had more than just the corpse of the man Tenten killed there. Sitting on the steps looking over Tenten's handiwork was a young man their age with white shoulder-length hair, purple eyes, grey pants, and no shirt to show a lean looking build. He had grey arm warmers on his forearms and a katana at his waist, "You guys really didn't mess around when you stormed on in here did you? Kind of boring though. Kisame-senpai told me to stay upstairs to watch Gato while he took control of the situation outside. Boring."

Tenten's hands crept towards her supply of weapons as she could feel bloodlust rolling off of the newcomer that didn't seem too friendly at all, "Who is this guy?"

"He said he's supposed to be guarding Gato…" Naruto said, not taking his eyes off of the strange boy as he broke into a grin showing off his sharp, shark-like teeth.

"So Whiskers, can you and Buns over there fight?" The white-haired guard said, standing up on the stairs as he looked down at Naruto and Tenten.

While Naruto had more or less gotten used to being called 'Whiskers' by then after having heard it for years, Tenten's eye twitched at the observation of her signature hairstyle, "What did you just call me? I don't think I heard that correctly."

"Someone's got a little bite to her. Feisty." The sword-wielding teen said before pointing at both Tenten and Naruto, "Okay, so which one of you am I going to have to dice up first? I don't really have any preferences here. I'd even settle for taking you both on at once."

Naruto took a knee and reached underneath the pant leg of his right leg to reach for his combat knife in its holster, "Tenten go out the back and find a way out of here. We can't afford to get bogged down here in a fight where the money is going to get destroyed."

"You're going to fight him?" Tenten said incredulously. If she left then he'd be keeping his clones up and intact to help her move the money until she found a way out of the danger zone. His chakra was currently split over thirteen ways. That was not good for a one-on-one battle, did he even have enough chakra to keep that kind of pace up?

"Yeah, one of us has to right? Now get going!" Naruto said as he saw the boy grin wider and launch at him, drawing his katana while Naruto pulled his Bowie knife out to combat the swordsman with.

Naruto's opponent grinned and attempted a thrusting stab with his sword that Naruto jumped back away from before swatting the tip of the blade away with his knife, "You don't bring a knife to a swordfight friend, it just doesn't end very well at all."

Instead of verbally responding, Naruto attempted a swipe with his knife but didn't even get it close due to the range provided by the katana of his foe, causing him to have to worry about retaliatory swings of the enemy's longer melee weapon that nearly cut his guts loose from his torso.

Jumping a few feet back out of his foe's range, Naruto formed a few hand-seals and his cheeks puffed out as he inhaled deeply, "Teppodama no Jutsu (Water Bullet Jutsu)!" Naruto fired the fast-moving orb of water from his mouth at him, but much to his surprise the boy didn't move, just smirked as the water hit him flush, "What?"

"Thanks for that. I appreciate it. I was kind of getting dehydrated just sitting on those stairs." The water dripped off of his frame before seemingly drying up as if he hadn't been touched at all. Without another word he then rushed at Tenten in order to keep her and the clones from escaping the mansion through the back since he was blocking the original way out.

Naruto appeared in front of him in a show of speed and slashed at the mystery fighter with his Bowie knife while the blade gave off a red glow, "Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!" A red blade of energy flew from the knife and hit the attacking swordsman's body, splitting him clean in half as his body turned to water. Naruto stared at the puddle that had come from the boy on the floor as Tenten managed to get out of the room and to another part of the house, "Did he use a water clone? I didn't see any hand-seals."

The water then began to reform the strange enemy's body back to the way it was, leaving him with no visible injuries from Naruto's previous attack, "That was fast, ruthless, and would have killed a normal guy if he'd been hit with it." A grin appeared, showing off shark-like teeth, "My kind of move. Nice to meet you, my name's Suigetsu Hozuki."

"Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto said, getting introductions out of the way, "What did you just do?"

"My special technique." Suigetsu said, not letting on to anymore than that, "Maybe you'll find out more about it before I kill you… or not. I don't really care."

Hearing the now named Suigetsu speak so nonchalantly about trying to stop him got Naruto to blink and stand up out of a ready stance, "Really? Then could you just let me and Tenten leave if you don't care?"

Suigetsu stared at him strangely before getting a look of realization on his face at why Naruto would say such a thing, "Oh, I mean I don't care if you understand my jutsu or not before I kill you. I care about you and the girl getting away of course. This is my mission. So sorry, but I'm going to have to kill you now or I'll never get a spot like my brother as a Kaisha Araumi elite."

Well that was understandable to Naruto if nothing else because he himself wanted to be considered elite in his own PMC. Still, he wasn't going to be anyone's stepping stone to anything, everyone else that he fought was supposed to be _his_ stepping stone… in a manner of speaking.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" Naruto created a dozen clones that all went at Suigetsu with their knives only to get periodically dispelled by his skilled swordplay, 'I can't beat him in close, not with that sword of his, he's too good for me to get him with a knife.' So with that in mind he formed a ranged attack in the form of a blue fireball in his hand to attack with from afar, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!"

The fireball that was thrown at Suigetsu hit him just as the white-haired young man finished off the last of Naruto's clones. It hit him right in the chest and knocked him to the ground with a hiss as steam flew off of his body instead of smoke, "You're a tricky asshole aren't you?" Suigetsu sneered at him, not taking kindly to Naruto's attack. While it didn't show any burns either on his person or his clothing it still managed to burn him and cause him harm, "But you're still just weak and you can't beat me."

Weak huh? Yeah, he had felt weak on his last mission, but Suigetsu sure as hell wasn't Kakuzu, and nothing about the situation felt hopeless. Suigetsu might have been strong, but as far as Naruto was concerned, he himself wasn't weak.

"I'll show you just how weak I am." Naruto said, stowing his knife away as his eyes turned slitted and his canines seemed to lengthen as did his fingernails into claws, showing that he was beginning to tap into his youki.

Suigetsu licked his lips in anticipation of the fight and decided to poke at Naruto's differing appearance, "Ooh, how scary. You going to scratch me with those press-on nails sister?" Instead of growling at Suigetsu or verbally responding, Naruto simply picked up a heavy oaken table three times his size in length nearby and hurled it at Suigetsu without even seeming to struggle to lift it.

If he had a better sword, Suigetsu would have tried slashing through it, but he simply had a normal katana which while reliable wasn't as overwhelming as say Samehada or Kubikiribouchou. Thus he dodged the table, letting it hit a wall behind him with enough force to punch a deep hole in it. Apparently his quarry was lacking in the strength department.

Nor in the speed department either, as Suigetsu took his eyes off of Naruto for long enough to see what became of the table that had been thrown at him, but by the time he turned his head back towards Naruto the blonde was already standing in front of him with his claws drawn back for a swing that he didn't hesitate to unleash.

Once the deadly appendages ripped into Suigetsu though, his entire body turned to water before going back to normal and retaliating with a swing of his katana. Naruto started stepping back to avoid it but Suigetsu began to press the issue, engaging in a dogged pursuit of the backpedaling Naruto, taking swimming strikes at him with his sword as Naruto began to retreat all over the ground floor of the mansion.

Still unable to get close to Suigetsu, now more than ever due to him pressing his attack, Naruto fell into a pattern of steady retreat as Suigetsu's swings and misses tore up Gato's very nice looking home, something that Naruto probably would have taken some satisfaction from if he hadn't been dodging the lethal steel.

"Man if I had one of the Seven Swords you'd be so dead right now!" Suigetsu yelled as he and Naruto proceeded to wreck the living room of Gato's. Both trades slashes and sword strokes back and forth, missing each time by a closer and closer margin with the furniture in the flooded room paying the price of the all-out melee.

"But you don't, so shut up and fight!" Naruto replied, slashing through Suigetsu's arm, again turning it to water before Suigetsu's entire body turned into the liquid and fell into the water that covered the floor of the mansion, "I really hate whatever this jutsu is." Naruto said to himself as he tried to figure out where Suigetsu went over to. The sword seemed to be floating on the top of the water though, and moved towards Naruto's backside where Suigetsu suddenly reformed with the katana held in a downward stabbing motion.

The blue eyes of the young mercenary widened as he turned around and saw the pointed steel coming right for him.

XxX

(Kakashi vs. Kisame – Outside the Mansion)

For the umpteenth time that day Kakashi was cursing his wretched luck. Kisame was arguably more powerful than Zabuza, but Kakashi couldn't be sure since he had never fought Zabuza all-out in an actual battle before.

The thing was that Samehada seemed to absorb each one of Kakashi's ranged chakra-based attacks. It was maddening. Getting in close with that monster of a sword was the worst idea anyone could have, and it seemed that Kisame's modus operandi was to get as close as he could to Kakashi. He simply wouldn't tolerate not severing his pound of flesh from the Kaisha Hein elite.

"Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bullet Jutsu)!"

The water pooling around their knees formed into a rather large shark that was sent flying at Kakashi with its mouth open, intent on crashing into him and possibly doing worse once it made contact with the man.

"Suiton: Suijinheki (Water Release: Water Encampment Wall)!" In return, Kakashi raised a dense wall of water in the form of a circle around himself to block Kisame's water shark, and it did just that. The two opposing forces met, but the shark was unable to breach the defenses of one Kakashi Hatake, but something else could.

"You think I can't get past this to get to you?" Kisame shouted as he emerged from his shark's own mouth with Samehada in hand before swinging it and cutting straight through Kakashi's wall of water as if it were made of cobwebs. He even managed to cut into the man inside. A grin crossed his face as he saw the massive chunk taken out of the right side of Kakashi's torso before it dispelled in a puff of smoke, "Tch… another Kage Bunshin?"

So where was the real one if he hadn't been in the water when he formed his water wall?

It was then that Kisame saw that the entire area was clear of life. There was no one standing around the way they had been at the battle's start, none of Gato's men nor any of the Nami no Kuni liberators. It had been merely he and Kakashi, and now it was just him, standing alone in the water with his frightening sword in hand.

At least it was until he heard the crackling of electricity from a nearby spotlight platform.

XxX

(Jetty of Gato's Mansion)

Gato and his few personal guards numbering around a dozen were running away towards one of Gato's numerous seafaring vessels to make an aquatic escape, "I hired those lunatics to keep me and my property safe! They're tearing it apart worse than those stupid hicks ever could have!" If he had stayed in that mansion he felt he would have been less safe than being outside in the first place.

"How much did you pay for them?" One of the sword-wielding thugs said as they climbed aboard one of Gato's yachts with a sense of haste in their movements. They looked back at the mansion grounds as a very loud surge and snap of electricity sounded up from the front of the property, the water leaking out of the inside of the mansion grounds momentarily showed ripples of electricity running through it, and several windows inside of the house were blown out by whatever was going on in there.

"More than enough for them to work more subtly than this!" Gato yelled as the yacht began to move away from the walkway, "Wait, I'm missing a boat." He could see that one of his smaller boats were gone, "Where the fuck is my speedboat from Umi no Kuni?" Another one of Gato's guards pointed out away from land where said boat was sailing away, "Motherfucker!"

XxX

(With Tenten)

Naruto's clones had dropped the loot on the small boat and had dispelled so that their creator could get as much of his chakra as possible back for his own usage in his battle. From that point Tenten had managed to hotwire the boat and took off to try and escape with Gato's money.

"I wonder, if I take a few gold bars will anyone notice?" Tenten said to herself as she steered the boat, planning to flee to a safe point to unload the goods later once the actual mission was over, "I think I've earned a little something extra for a job well done."

XxX

"No, no, no, no!" Gato yelled repeatedly, throwing the binoculars he had been using to see Tenten on his boat away and stomping on the deck like a little kid, "Catch that stupid little bitch and get my money back or _none_ of you are getting paid!" The thugs that were now doubling as his yacht's crew were working double-time to do just as Gato instructed in catching Tenten, "They can't do this to me! Who do they think they are?"

"Your betters. As am I, but who I am isn't important."

Gato turned around to see a pale young man with short black hair and dark combat garb staring at him calmly while leaning against the railing of the vessel. He had a sheathed tanto on his back, but he didn't seem to be too eager to reach for it. He looked different from the strange people that had come from Konohagakure to fight him and he didn't look like any kind of fisherman or farmer the way the other Nami no Kuni denizens did.

"My betters?" Gato said incredulously, laughing a bit. The lack of weapon in the pale boy's hands raised his bluster since his armed guards were now aware of the intruder's presence and were slowly advancing in front of Gato towards the unknown youngster, "Do you know how much money I have? No one can be your better if you can buy them! If you can't buy someone's loyalty then you merely buy their lives just like I did to this country. And you have your own price right? How about I give you 20,000 ryo to get off my boat right now? I'll even give you 100,000 if you stop that girl that has my boat?"

Not a flicker of emotion came upon the boy's face as he moved from the railing, putting Gato and his company on guard despite the lack of any other motion from him, "You think I require your money. You're mistaken. There is no need for money when you're in Root, there is only the mission, and my mission is to keep Naruto Uzumaki alive to continue to be observed."

"So then go inside and help him fight that mercenary from Kaisha Araumi." One of Gato's bodyguards offered before a bunch of loud growls came from the interior of the yacht. Everyone turned to see five lions made of ink slowly walking out of the ship's interior onto the deck, staring them all down hatefully.

"No, I don't think I'll do that." The young Root soldier said as all of Gato's men began walking back away from the ink lions slowly, "It would be much easier just to void their contract with you by way of your death. I'm so sorry." He didn't sound sorry in the slightest as he said so.

One of Gato's thugs heard the emotionless teen loud and clear and got over his fear of the lions long enough to swing his ball and chain and send it at Sai where it smashed through his head. A grin of satisfaction came over the man's head until the smashed body turned to ink and slowly ran onto the ground. As the run of ink moved down past the torso of the ink construct a rather nasty looking bomb made itself known to them all as the green light flickering on it turned an angry beeping red.

XxX

(Naruto vs. Suigetsu – Inside of Gato's Mansion)

Naruto held Suigetsu's katana by the blade between the palms of both of his hands, keeping the tip of the blade from being shoved right through his chest, throat, or face. Blood ran down his hands from where he had been cut, but Suigetsu was surprised that such wounds were all that he had gotten from such a brazen action, "There's no way you should have stopped that. Not only should your hands be cold cuts, I still should have run you clean through."

A grin came over Naruto's place as the two continued their power struggle for the upper hand, "Kitsune Hifu no Koka (Fox Skin Hardening)… my clones dispelled and freed up enough chakra for me to get most of my strength and chakra back. Ready for round two?"

Despite the fact that the battle didn't seem to be in his favor any longer, Suigetsu also grinned, meeting Naruto's own in a cheeky show of confidence, "You were barely surviving round one Whiskers. So either you've got something up your sleeve or over the last minute or so your balls dropped something fierce."

The two broke away at another standoff with each other before Suigetsu's grin turned into a smarmy smirk and his body turned back into water, dropping into the flooded room's already abundant amount of the fluid.

Naruto growled to himself at having to play the guessing game with where Suigetsu was, and this time his sword simply sank to the bottom on the floor, showing that he wasn't trying to move the weapon around the room again.

Suigetsu suddenly appeared at Naruto's back again, but a back kick to the chest turned him back into water and sent him into hiding again. Before too long though, Suigetsu appeared at Naruto's side in a blindspot with a very abnormally muscular right arm cocked back ready to strike him, "Suiton: Gousuiwan no Jutsu (Water Release: Great Water Arm Jutsu)!"

Able to get his arms up in a defense, Naruto blocked most of the power from Suigetsu's hit, but his forearms felt the strain and the pain as the entire body of Naruto himself was sent flying, smashing into Gato's super-large TV set and falling face-first into the water where he sprang right back up, glaring heatedly at Suigetsu.

The glare faded however when Naruto heard the glass from the destroyed TV fall into the water. All Naruto did from that point was slam the TV face down on the surface of the water and simultaneously jump on the expensive coffee table to avoid what would follow.

Suigetsu's body locked up as the volts from the damaged TV ripped through his body, "You ch-cheating b-b-bastard!" Suigetsu yelled, his body racked with pain as he reverted back into water once again.

Instead of letting Suigetsu find another way to catch him off-guard, Naruto held out his right hand and in a matter of seconds formed the spinning blue ball that he had just managed to learn from Jiraiya. A grin firmly on his face he placed the jutsu into the water and watched as all of it began to swirl around centering around his right arm and creating a mini-whirlpool.

"Dude stop!" Suigetsu yelled, his head visible in the water as he continued to spin around the room in a circle, bumping into furniture and walls, "I'm getting dizzy!" He yelled again, trying to get Naruto to stop, "Oh I'm so going to kick the shit out of you when I get out of this!" At that moment, Suigetsu and quite a bit of water filtered out of the room into the kitchen, getting Naruto to curse at the loss of his advantage.

He jumped into the water and ran into the kitchen where he saw Suigetsu reforming, his hand pointed at Naruto in a finger-gun gesture as a drop of water began to form at the tip of his index finger. Thinking that he didn't want to see whatever that move did, Naruto launched himself at Suigetsu with the Rasengan once again, only to drive him back harshly, turning Suigetsu's body to water once again as his jutsu hit the wall and smashed right through it, sending them out towards the back of Gato's home near the jetty in sight of the ocean.

Both Naruto and the reformed Suigetsu stood staring at each other, panting heavily at the ever escalating intensity of their battle. Naruto had water dripping off of his body and so did Suigetsu, but for different reasons. Naruto had been getting soaked while inside fighting in flooded rooms while Suigetsu was finding it harder to keep his solid form with the amount of chakra he had expended turning to water and reforming his body to continue fighting.

BOOM!

Both combatants turned their attention out towards the sea where Gato's yacht blew sky high, sending debris, and parts of people flying all over the place.

"Damn…" Suigetsu said, whistling to himself, "That was kind of sweet. Did your pretty partner do that? I didn't think she had it in her."

"I don't know." Naruto said, confused at what had just happened. Was Gato on that yacht? Tenten wouldn't have turned around to fight if she had a chance at getting away with their haul, "But anyone on that boat isn't swimming away from that one." Suigetsu nodded and scratched the back of his head as the flaming pieces of wreckage floated atop the water.

At that moment, Kakashi and Kisame sprang into sight on the jetty, still fighting tooth and nail against one another. Kisame's clothing seemed to be smoking and had holes in them, having suffered some kind of damage. Still though, he was intent on cutting into Kakashi with Samehada as he stayed out of range, "Why are you still standing and moving around after that? I electrocuted you." Kakashi mumbled as he kept jumping back out of Kisame's strike range.

"Ha!" Kisame said, still swinging at Kakashi, "I'll admit, that little trick of yours was nice with the electric hand shocking the daylights out of me, but you've got to work harder than that I'm afraid if you want to kill me!"

"Kakashi-nii/Kisame-senpai!" Both Naruto and Suigetsu shouted respectively to get their superior mercenary's attention.

"What?" Both of them said, stopping their movements before seeing both boys point out at the ocean at the destruction that had been wrought out there, "Where's Gato?" Kisame asked Suigetsu, calming down from full-on battle mode upon seeing the crown yacht in pieces all over the place.

"All over the place I'd imagine." Suigetsu said dryly, "No one swam away from that, not that we've seen. So now what?"

Kisame just stared at the fire on the surface of the water before sighing and putting Samehada on his back, seemingly making it stick there with no holster, sheath, or anything, "We go back to Kiri to get our butts chewed out, that's what." He glared at Suigetsu, "How did you let him die?"

"Me?" Suigetsu said incredulously, pointing at himself as he walked over to Kisame, "It's not my fucking fault! I was fighting the threat! Gato apparently had a stroke of 'genius' and left the house! It wasn't my fault!"

"Mangetsu wouldn't have fucked up." Kisame said, getting Suigetsu to stare at him angrily. He just ignored the younger swordsman though and turned to Kakashi, "Well it looks like we don't need to fight anymore Kakashi. Lucky for you because I was just about to get serious. We were right by my playing field. Tell Zabu-chan I said hey, and let him know that he should watch his neck. Him and that cute little bloodline-using girl he keeps with him."

Naruto just blinked and turned to Kakashi who had walked over to stand by him as well, "Wait, we're done? It's all over? That kind of sucks."

"It's how these things go Naruto." Kakashi said, putting a hand on his shoulder as he hid his Sharingan from sight, "They were fighting us because of their contract with Gato. While we didn't set out to kill him, now that he's dead they don't have any need to stick around. I didn't think Tenten had anything with her to cause an explosion that could take that yacht down in one blast."

"She didn't." Naruto said, paying his attention back to Suigetsu as the white-haired youth turned to face him and pointed at him with his finger-gun gesture.

Seeing Naruto prepare to move or fight again if need be, knowing that the finger-gun was necessary to activate a technique, Suigetsu smirked, "If we run into each other again Uzumaki I'm cutting something of yours off. Arm, leg, it doesn't matter, because next time we meet I'll have one of the Seven Swords to use for myself. Count on it." He said before leaving to catch up with Kisame.

Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto who was simply staring at Suigetsu's back, "Oh how nice. You made a new friend." He commented, getting a glare out of Naruto that he thoroughly ignored, "Let's go tell Kaiza the good news that we got away with Gato's loot so we can go home."

"Yeah, sure." Naruto said, staring out at the sea and the destroyed yacht, 'Tenten didn't do that. I just know she didn't.' He'd ask her later, but he knew already that she hadn't done a thing. No one on the Nami no Kuni liberation team could have done that. So that begged the question of just who had blown Gato to hell and why.

For some reason he didn't feel like he had won a major victory on this night as the sun began to rise over the horizon.

* * *

Omake: Origins 2

**Early Internship**

(November 15, 2002 – Several Years before Storyline Begins – Naruto Uzumaki: Age 6/ Kakashi Hatake: Age 18/ Zabuza Momochi: Age 18/ Haku Momochi: Age 7)

"Are you excited Naruto?" A younger Kakashi asked a little Naruto that was bouncing animatedly around his heels as they walked through the alley that would lead to Kaisha Hein's main entrance for operatives, what others that didn't belong would call the back entrance, "You've never been inside the base before have you?"

"No, I'm excited Kaka-nii!" Naruto said, turning his bright blue eyes up at his caretaker. He was wearing a little black winter coat and a pair of blue jeans, "You, Rin-neechan, and Obito-nii never took me here before! How come?"

Kakashi reached down and ruffled the little blonde boy's hair, "Because you were too little." He was still technically too young, but the only real opposition to bringing him to base was Rin, and she was out of town on a mission with Obito, "But you're a big boy now, so I think you're ready to see a little bit of what your big siblings do for a living. Are you ready?" He asked as he scanned his ID to open the door.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Naruto said, happily hopping up and down as the door's locks snapped open for Kakashi to enter, "This is gonna be so cool! Can I play with the weapons? Can I go spar with you in the gym? *gasp* Can I get a mission? Huh? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes as he walked inside, Naruto running circles around his legs as he rapidly chattered about all of the stuff he wanted to do and see, 'I should have waited until after the tour to get him some breakfast…' He thought to himself as they walked through the entrance corridor, placing them eventually at the main ground floor of the office area, "This is where most of the day-to-day things happen. Some operatives get a desk or a cubicle after you work here for a while. The more established mercenaries like me, Rin, and Obito get an office though… but we share."

The little boy seemed to be in awe at how big the place seemed to be. There were people buzzing around like it was a bee hive, and others just lounging about, chatting about this and that. All of them looked strong and confident, just like what he wanted to be. They looked like it was just fun to be there and go to work. He was definitely going to get into this place as a member one day no matter what he had to do.

"Can we go see your office first Kaka-nii?" Naruto said, noticing Kakashi grab a hold of his hand so he didn't get lost or wander off curiously, "Then you can teach me how to fight right?"

"Maybe after the tour we can go down to the gym and we can mess around with some hand-to-hand if you really want to." Kakashi said as he began leading Naruto upstairs to another level of the office area, taking him to his office first, "I guess you can't just glean what you've seen me and Obito do forever."

Not long after they got up to the second level though, they came across a little girl sitting in front of an office door in the hallway, just kicking her feet as she sat in her chair, petting a snow white rabbit with not a care in the world. The little girl had long black hair and brown emotive eyes and wore a blue kimono with a silver dragon design on it with black sandals on her feet. Noticing the approach of someone, the little girl freed a hand from the rabbit she was petting and waved at Kakashi and Naruto whom she didn't know. Still, that was no reason not to be cordial.

"Hello Kakashi-san. Good morning." The girl said with a pleasant smile on her face, "Your teammates sent a message saying that they should be back in the country and back at base within a day or so."

"Thank you Haku." Kakashi said, giving her an eye-smile. She was such a sweet girl, it was hard to believe who she had raising her and training her, "What are you doing out here all by yourself though? Your father should know better than to leave you all alone anywhere."

Haku shrugged her shoulders, turning her attention back to the rabbit momentarily, "Zabuza-otousan just went to dig through the missions to find something easy for me to do today. He could have at least unlocked the door to the office though." She finished with a frown before looking at the little blonde boy staring at her curiously, "Ara… who is this?"

Kakashi shoved Naruto forward slightly as he introduced him, "This is Naruto. He's probably going to be here a lot since he's going to be a mercenary one day just like you. Isn't that right Naruto?" Hearing Kakashi ask him that question got Naruto to nod his head so fast it might have popped off from his neck.

"Nice to meet you Naruto-kun." Haku said, happy that she finally had someone her age to talk to instead of just all of the old people that would treat her like a little kid. She was finally older than someone for once because Naruto was shorter than her, something she realized once she hopped off of her chair to stand up, "I'm Haku Momochi. My father should be around somewhere, but that's okay, you'll see him soon!"

Naruto rather liked the air he got from Haku. She was a really nice girl. She was most definitely friendly since he didn't even have to say anything to get her to talk to him. Haku was definitely nicer than those jerks at school, that was for certain, "Nice to meet you too! So are you really a mercenary like you said? You can take missions and everything?" Haku nodded, getting Naruto to get even more excited, "That's so cool!" Naruto turned to Kakashi and pulled on his pant leg, "I wanna be a mercenary like Haku-neechan! She's awesome!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. He had hoped that Haku's mission comment would have gone over Naruto's head, but that was too much to hope for, "Haku's a special case. She's been the apprentice to her adoptive father since she's known him so she's skilled enough to be a mercenary. You don't have any training at all on the other hand."

"So train me!"

"…No can do… Rin would kill me."

"Aww…"

Kakashi looked over from the pouting blonde boy to Haku, "Say, can Naruto stay with you for a bit?" He asked the little girl, "I want to go check the messages to hear what Rin and Obito had to say, but he just met you and seems to like you. I don't really want to take him away. Would you mind?"

A smile again broke out on Haku's face as she shook her head fervently, "It's okay, I don't mind at all. I like Naruto-kun too, he seems like fun." Naruto seemed to perk back up once he heard Haku say that she liked him, "Do you want to play with my bunny? Zabuza-otousan let me bring him from home today. Meet Yukiashi." She said, holding the small white mammal out to Naruto who carefully took it before hugging it.

Seeing Naruto start to play with Haku and her rabbit got a smile out of Kakashi that no one else could see under his facemask before he walked away to leave the kids to play in the hall.

Eventually the sound of heavy boot steps got Haku's attention as she looked up from her game-playing with Naruto, happiness evident in her eyes as she stood up to run over to the person she heard coming. So quickly did she do this, she managed to startle Naruto considerably. One moment she was just sitting there with him, the next she was up and gone, "Wow… Haku-neechan is really fast."

"Zabuza-otousan!" Haku let out joyously as she latched onto the rather large man wearing camouflage pants and a sleeveless shirt with bandages around his mouth and neck. Another thing that stuck out was the monstrous sword on his back. He had to be really strong to carry that thing. One of his arm-warmer clad hands came down upon her head and gave her a pat before she ran over to Naruto and pulled him up, "Look, I made a friend! This is Naruto-kun and he's new! Can he come into the office and play with me and Yukiashi?"

Zabuza just stared down at Naruto for a while, just watching as the blonde boy stared right back up at him, blinking in interest. Eventually he broke the eye contact and walked over to the door unlocking it for entrance, "Yeah, sure I don't see why not. The mission I have for you is very easy, and it doesn't start until this afternoon so you have time. Now get on in there." He said, moving so that Haku could run on past his leg to the inside of his office. Naruto moved to follow, but Zabuza blocked the boy's way with his leg, "Not you, not yet."

Naruto looked up at the tall imposing man curiously, "What's wrong? Am I in trouble?" He asked. Usually when people told him not to go somewhere he was in trouble because he wasn't allowed. But didn't Zabuza just say he could come in?

"That depends." Zabuza said calmly, "Did you do anything to Haku? Are you going to try and bully her? She's sweet so she'd probably let you do anything you wanted as long as she thinks you're friends."

"No way!" Naruto said, glaring up at Zabuza. He hated bullies, they always tried to pick on him because he didn't have any parents or his lunches weren't as good as theirs, or any other reason they could find. Stupid reasons that made him mad, and then _he'd_ get in trouble when he beat them up. Where was the justice in that? Nowhere in his six-year old mind, "I'd never do anything like that! Haku-neechan's super nice to me!"

"Good." Zabuza said matter-of-factly before turning his tone to one of danger, "Because there are two rules in dealing with me. The first rule is do not touch Kubikiribouchou here or I'll have you get really acquainted with it when I cut off your limbs." He said, touching the hilt of his sword for emphasis, "Second of all, you've seen my sweet little Haku already so I don't need to describe her to you. She likes you so you can talk to her. But other than that you don't touch her, you don't look at her in a funny way, you don't do anything bad. If I even sense you thinking anything off-kilter in your empty little head and my Haku is somehow involved in the thought process I'm going to make you disappear. After all, who's going to remember seeing a little runt like you if you up and vanish one day?" He finished, chuckling evilly.

Naruto just kept staring up at him, holding onto the bunny that could just feel Zabuza's attempt to channel killing intent, evident by how it was trying to wriggle out of Naruto's arms. The boy himself though looked as if he hadn't even heard any of what Zabuza had just said, "…What?"

Well that dramatically intimidating speech of warning went right over the kid's head. Maybe he should have waited to try it on someone older?

Zabuza just sighed and moved his leg to allow Naruto entrance to the office, "Just… just go kid." He said in a defeated tone of voice, and without needing to be told twice, Naruto ran into the office over to Haku who was sitting on a couch near Zabuza's desk waiting patiently.

"You sure took a long time getting in here Naruto-kun. *gasp* Hey, what's the matter with Yukiashi? He looks scared of something."

"I don't know. He seemed fine outside and then your dad stopped me at the door and said some stuff… I don't know what he was talking about. He's weird."

Zabuza shut the door to his office and spared a glance to the two kids trying to calm the rabbit down, 'A stupid rabbit can sense that killing intent when it wasn't even directed at it, but a brat can't? What, am I losing my touch or did somebody drop him or something?'

* * *

**For fans of MMA, last night for those that get the reference Chael Sonnen went hard when he called out Anderson Silva after winning/dominating his fight against Brian Stann in the post-fight interview. It was the greatest and ballsiest thing I had ever heard anyone say after winning a fight bar Brock Lesnar after winning his fight at UFC 100. Fucking awesome.**

**Anyway, chapter done… and I'm going to go do Kenchi stuff now. Later.**

**Kenchi out.**


	42. Protect Your Neck

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Now I'm going to go play Modern Warfare 3 and take out my aggression of this fact on some poor unsuspecting foes. Angry people shoot better!

**Chapter 42: Protect Your Neck**

* * *

(Konohagakure no Sato – One Day after the Dawn of the Assault on Gato's Mansion)

Naruto sat in a chair whistling to himself as he flipped through the bills that had been handed to him for his payment from his work in Nami no Kuni. Personal debriefings were now required for him from either Jiraiya or Tsunade so that the boss of the PMC could rate his student's performance. The reports of Kakashi and Tenten would come into play later to fill in whatever blanks Naruto left out, but Naruto would more or less be a straight-shooter on his performance… even if he did embellish his performance every now and again.

"Really?" Jiraiya said, sitting in the living room of his quarters in the base with Naruto sitting in another couch, "You killed 300 people in the battle on your first day in the country?"

"Well…" Naruto tried to seem bashful at the body count he apparently racked up, "Tenten helped… she took out like twenty of them."

A smile threatened to pull at Jiraiya's face, but he kept his stoic judging appearance as he spoke, "Again I say, really? Because Tenten's report says you both killed 100 in all on the first day. Hers was also written out neater than yours… and she didn't draw a picture of what she thought the explosions above ground looked like." He rolled his eyes when Naruto made an almost silent explosion sound effect with his mouth in response, "All in all I have to say things could have gone worse. But that little bit at the end about someone sticking their nose in our business, even if they helped this time by taking out Gato, that's a little disturbing."

"Tell me about it." Naruto said, sinking back into the couch as he tapped his fingers on the arms of the chair. Tenten had told them that she definitely hadn't been the one to orchestrate the explosion on Gato's yacht that took his life which left the identity of the party that did so in the dark, "We never saw anything, even Kakashi-nii." Naruto and Kakashi had excuses though; they were busy with their opponents.

Jiraiya let out a tired sigh and gave Naruto a shooing motion with his hand, telling him he was free to go, "Alright, get your ass out of here. You get a week off, but I want you front and center next Tuesday. We've got work to do before summer ends and you go back to school."

"It's not even July yet. There's no rush to get any work in." Naruto said as he hopped up and left the office of his boss and teacher, intent on heading home and getting some much needed sleep, "If you need me you can call me. I'll probably be bored this week anyway."

Jiraiya got in one more jab before the large doors to his office and quarters closed, "Who in the hell would call a rookie like you for an emergency?"

XxX

(Naruto's Apartment)

After spending a few minutes on the ground floor chatting with Shino in the landlord office, Naruto bolted right up to the top floor and his posh setup. His own exhaustion didn't hit him until the doors to the elevator opened with a ding. As he unlocked the gate that separated the elevator from his actual apartment he caught a whiff of a familiar scent that put a smile on his face.

Silently shutting the gate to the elevator and dropping his gear on the floor, Naruto kicked his shoes and socks off and removed his shirt on the way to his room where he found his sleeping red-headed beauty all bunched up in his bedding. Without a sound he slipped into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, sighing softly at the very much missed experience.

He was about to drift off himself when he heard Kyuubi's voice speak up softly, "How come I didn't get your scent when you came in?" She said before yawning, a smile appearing on her face as she immediately knew the only person that possibly could have been in that bed with her, "When you come back from missions you usually smell like sweat and blood or something."

"I took a shower at HQ this time." Naruto admitted, burying his face into her hair, "Did you miss me? Because I missed you. And I can say that because there's no one else here but you." He heard and felt her laugh a little at his admission and settled in to take a nap as he was dog tired, "So… did anything weird happen while I was gone this time?"

The girl tensed up momentarily at Naruto's question, but he just took that as her body adjusting to his after just waking up, "Nothing really." Kyuubi said nonchalantly, purposefully avoiding the topic that had been brought to her by Sasuke a few days prior. She really didn't want to think about it at all.

"Deputy told me about these demon-hunting cult guys, Akatsuki. He told me that he told you to warn me about them since I travel a lot."

Well that certainly made her heart skip upon hearing it from him, "Oh that's right. Sorry, but I couldn't reach you while you were in Nami no Kuni." Damn it Sasuke, you could have told him later… just to put it off a little bit longer, "Your phone service sucks."

"Oh whatever…" Naruto muttered at the jab, not sensing the tension in Kyuubi due to his own exhaustion, "I'm going to sleep."

"I'll be right here when you wake up Naruto." Kyuubi said before closing her own eyes. He dismissed it pretty casually… and that meant that he really had no idea how dangerous the situation really was. 'This isn't happening. They can't be coming again. I can't beat them, Naruto can't fight them, mom and dad…' They would know what to do. They got her and themselves out of the slaughter the last time. She'd have to talk to them about this later.

XxX

(Two Days Later – Konohagakure Police Training Grounds)

"Why are we here?" Naruto asked as he sat in the grass looking over the main training part of the fields along with Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru, "It feels wrong to be sitting here. This is like the spawning point for people that will one day chase me down and try to throw me in jail."

"Because Sasuke said so, and you're kind of a bitch?" Kiba ventured before leaning out of the way of a punch that would have nailed him in the back of the head, "So you've got problems? Why don't you just find that Sai kid and interrogate him?" He said as he rubbed his dog Akamaru's head.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he lay down in the grass looking up at the sky, ignoring the desperately struggling and panting trainees being slave-driven by Sasuke and Itachi, "Because it's illegal and Itachi Uchiha is standing 100 yards away from us at most."

Chouji had been sitting up and digging into a bag of chips that he had brought with him before choosing to chime in, "Yeah… but Naruto said that the guys that Sai ran with blew up his old place. That's got to count for something, right?"

"He blew up his own place." Shikamaru corrected matter-of-factly, "There just happened to be a fight going on at the time. Who uses an open flame around spilled chemicals by the way?"

"Not the point Shikamaru." Naruto replied to his rhetorical question, "Am I just being paranoid?" Whether he was paranoid or not, he really didn't feel like waiting for two months for school to start again just to try and get some answers from Sai. It just wasn't the smartest course of action, even for him.

Seeing an opportunity to find something to occupy his time during his summer, Kiba interjected once again, "Well how about this Naruto? I'll help you out. Yeah, I'll help you look for the weird pasty kid and help you kick his ass and get your answers."

"Why?"

"I'm bored and you blew up your console. I haven't seen you get online to play any games in forever."

With reasoning like that, Shikamaru didn't need to wonder any longer why he was so worried about those two failing their classes last spring.

"Dobe!"

Hearing Sasuke yell out his unflattering nickname for him, Naruto got a tick mark on his head and turned over to where Sasuke and Itachi were working with the trainees to shout right back at him, "What do you want Deputy?"

"Get over here and help with the next lesson!"

Despite himself, Naruto jumped up to his feet and jogged over to Sasuke, Itachi, and the whole lineup of young teens looking for instruction, "What do you want? It better not be something that I could have told you about from where I was."

Sasuke was unfettered by Naruto's attitude towards the forthcoming request and proceeded to go into detail on just what it was. He pointed over at a brick wall that was ten feet off of the ground, simulating an alley setting, complete with dumpsters, trashcans and the like, "I want you to show them how to get over that wall as easily as possible. No chakra."

In return Naruto just gave Sasuke a deadpan look, "That's it? You don't need me for that. You could have done that yourself. Itachi could have done that himself." He really didn't like trying to teach future police officers how to chase and capture guys like him… not that any of them would ever be that good.

"Itachi told me that I can't show off." Sasuke reasoned with a shrug. What a terrible excuse, "Come on." He pointed over at one particular place in the lineup, "Help Sakura out. You know you want to." Being pointed out and having attention drawn to her, Sakura smiled a little nervously while waving at Naruto.

Naruto just stared at Sakura with the same placid expression before sighing and walking over towards the wall to start explaining, "Okay, first of all don't ever run to the wall itself and stop there like a cornered rat first. That's movie shit and in this case no one's watching you for the drama. Don't do it." He then walked over towards the trashcans and dumpsters, "If there's a set up like this then you can climb these in a hurry and make it easier for yourself to jump and grab the top of the wall." He then demonstrated.

At this point, Sakura raised her hand and Naruto pointed to her to hear her question, "What if there isn't anything to get on top of in the alley?"

Naruto's lips quirked momentarily in amusement before he chose to address his classmate and friend's point, "You can wall hike, but you need to practice it… and you need good leg muscles and shoes with decent grip. No flip-flops or mandals unless you like hangnails and torn up toes."

"Wall hike?" Another of the students said, and Naruto jumped down from the dumpster to demonstrate, jumping at the wall mid-run, planting the front balls of one foot against the wall and pushing up to jump further up the wall, "Oh… I get it."

"Good, because that's all you get for free." Naruto said before walking up to Itachi, "Am I getting paid for this?"

Itachi looked down at Naruto before a smile ghosted its way onto his face, "This is your community service Naruto. You still owe 36 hours if you remember correctly. I just don't make you do them unless I need something from you… so that you can't ever say no." Like a twisted system of Naruto and Sasuke's system of favors since Naruto got no return from Itachi. Ignoring a grumbling Naruto to turn his attention back to the class, he spoke again, "That will be all for today. We meet back up the day after tomorrow."

The trainees didn't need to be told twice that there was no more training for the day as they made their way back towards the main building chatting amongst themselves, save for Sakura who stayed out to speak with the people she knew from school, "Hi guys. What's going on? I didn't think I'd see a lot of you until school started back up."

Shikamaru pointed at Naruto who had walked back over with her, "Sasuke made this guy come here while we were all hanging out, so he dragged the lot of us with him. I don't know why Sasuke couldn't have just found him later though."

"Because I didn't want to run the risk of him doing something dumb before I could find him and tell him what he needed to know." Sasuke said, walking over with a pair of towels before handing one to Sakura, "You're getting good. Keep practicing." With a small red blush springing to her face, Sakura smiled and accepted the towel and Sasuke turned his attention to Naruto, "I've got something you're going to like. You know that guy in our class that you said tried to fight you on the last day of school? I found his address."

"That's illegal little brother."

Everyone froze up when they realized that Itachi hadn't left and was still close enough to clearly hear the conversational topic at hand. That was certainly not good. He stood right behind Sasuke, and the look on his face made it hard to decipher just what he wished to do about what he had just heard.

"Oh come on Itachi." Naruto said, draping an arm over Itachi's shoulder in a friendly manner, "It isn't that illegal. I'm sure Sasuke just Googled it or something. I probably would have done it myself if I hadn't been out of town working."

A pair of dark eyes drifted towards Naruto, getting him to move away from Itachi lest bodily harm be inflicted on him faster than he would have been able to see, "Be that as it may…" Itachi said, then fixing Sasuke with his gaze, "You have the freedom to use your resources for whatever you wish. I would advise you use more discretion in the future." With that said, he walked away and left the younger teens to their own devices.

Sakura let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding and looked in the direction that Itachi had walked to see that he was no longer anywhere in sight, "Your brother is scary Sasuke-kun."

"It was a warning." Sasuke said in explanation, exhaling deeply as his brother's pressure-filled presence left the area, "Itachi taught me everything I know about having contacts like Naruto. He was just telling me to cover my tracks better in case someone other than him ever found out that I was doing things like this."

"Itachi's not scary…" Naruto said, waving the whole thing off, "…Though I've only seen him mad one time. I don't know what that's like." He remembered the one time he had truly seen Itachi express emotion, so anyone saying that Itachi was cold and unfeeling would have a bone to pick with Naruto since he knew that was false. Either way, that was neither here nor there, "But Deputy, you said you found Sai."

Remembering the entire reason that he had called Naruto out to see him that day, Sasuke nodded and reached into his pocket to hand Naruto a small slip of paper, "Yeah. I can't tell you how ridiculous it was to find his house. Just dead-ends and false trails and everything, but I found something concrete here. So go on and ask your little questions. Make sure you're all ready for whatever though. This isn't the kind of thing that you can just walk into. I've got a bad feeling."

"You've always got a bad feeling…" Naruto mumbled, reading the slip of paper and memorizing the address on it to get a map to later, "So who wants to come with?" He asked the group, getting a raised hand from Kiba and no one else, "Fine. Kiba's all I need. High five!" Naruto and Kiba slapped hands above their heads with grins on their faces, "Down low!" This time down low, "Around the bend!" This time with Naruto holding the hand that Kiba slapped behind his back, "And back again!" Regular high five.

"Over by the climbing wall!" Kiba shouted before he and Naruto ran over to the training track where they high-fived again.

Over with the others, Shikamaru palmed his face hard at the sight, "What the hell are they doing?"

"I don't know." Chouji replied with a shrug as Akamaru ran over to his master and Naruto to catch up, "Do you really want to find out?" Shikamaru shook his head no and Chouji nodded, "There you go then."

Back with Naruto and Kiba, Naruto texted the address Sasuke gave him to Kiba and put his phone up as Kiba read it, "There. Now meet me right there at 6:30 to slap five later… and maybe Sai too."

XxX

(Later That Evening – 1734 Gradient Hollow Drive)

The destination intended was a rather large apartment complex that actually wasn't too far from Naruto's previous place of residence. Maybe ten minutes away if that. Go figure. Perhaps an eye was kept on him from this address the entire time. Not really a comforting thought, but one that stoked the flames of curiosity nonetheless.

"Can we go in yet?" Kiba asked quietly from where he, Akamaru, Naruto, and Kyuubi were sitting. All of them were across the street, sitting on bleachers by a basketball court where a game was currently in progress, "My ass is falling asleep out here."

"I'm bored too." Kyuubi admitted freely from her place leaning her head on Naruto's shoulder, "But Naru-kun's clone is still scouting out the whole area to see what the chances of getting in would be. You don't want to walk in blind, even if you could smell out the traps the way you could, right?"

It was an understandable point but even so, Kiba didn't particularly like it. It just seemed indecisive to him. If he wanted answers from someone he was going to march up to them and hound it out of them, physically if need be. All the cloak and dagger crap didn't appeal to him.

All of a sudden Naruto perked up, getting Kyuubi and Kiba's attention from his abrupt action. As if to answer the unasked question, Naruto stood up from his seat in the bleachers, "My clone just bit it."

"You had it Henged so that no one could see it was you." Kyuubi said confusedly, "What would anyone have attacked it for?"

Kiba scoffed and woke his dog up to get ready to go, "If these guys attacked Naruto in his own house then I don't think they'd be beyond attacking some poor schlub that just wandered too close to somewhere they shouldn't be."

"Whatever, cover's blown." Naruto said as he got up and ran across the middle of the basketball court, interrupting the game, "Let's go before they lock the place down!" Running right through the opening in the gate around the court, he took off around the street with Kiba quick to catch up due to his own speed, "We were trying to find a way in without doing this, but it doesn't matter now I guess."

"Whoo! Let's rock and roll!" Kiba said excitedly as they ran ahead of Kyuubi who was not as fast as they were, "Watch the front with Akamaru!" He yelled at her as they rounded the corner of the apartment complex.

Kyuubi stopped after crossing the street upon hearing what Kiba told her to do, "What? Who are you telling? You're not a mercenary!"

"Neither are you!"

Damn it, he had a point. Why did logic always have to mess up her arguments? And so Kyuubi sat down on the bench in front of the building as Akamaru curled up by her feet. She scratched the dog behind the ears and sighed, "If they get their asses kicked in there I'm so letting them have it afterwards." Akamaru let out a soft bark in agreement. He wanted to go in too.

XxX

"This is a really stupid idea!" Kiba said as he followed Naruto through the courtyard of the apartment complex, the two having just hopped the gate to get in instead of trying to be discreet. Who knew what they would miss if they had taken any longer after being discovered the way they were.

"They know my face and my techniques from Sai and the fight in my old apartment." Naruto said as they ran towards the steps where his clone was killed, "How many other people can make Kage Bunshin in this city?"

He didn't know that the number reached past double-digits, but that was not the point at the moment.

The moment they reached the upstairs though, Kiba's nose started kicking into gear, "I don't smell anything dude."

"Duh."

"No, I mean I don't smell anything." Kiba stressed as if that were a significant point, "At all. Nothing." A confused look came from Naruto as if he were asking why that mattered at all and Kiba fought the urge to punch him for being dumb, "Look, everything has a scent, even if it's just a base scent of the environment. Right now I should at least be smelling the city; exhaust and stuff like that. I don't smell that. I've got nothing."

Now Naruto was realizing why this was important, "In the whole building? You don't have anything?" No smell at all? Every building had some kind of smell to it. Some specific touch to it to show who lived there or what kind of activities went on there.

"It's like the whole place gets disinfected all the time, again and again. I'm going crazy here." It was clear that Kiba was not used to his heightened sense of smell being useless. It was seriously bothering him. It was akin to being blind as far as he was concerned.

"It's alright." Inwardly Naruto was cursing though. His plan to search the whole building in a hurry was more or less entirely dependent on Kiba's special ability to track by scent, "We can still do this. It's not a big deal." It was a big deal, but he was the captain of this operation since Kiba was not any kind of soldier, he was just a regular guy with a lot of potential ability, "Let's just go back outside. We can try again later."

Kiba nodded begrudgingly. He fancied himself a tough guy that was useful in any kind of situation, especially ones like this, but in this instance he just didn't have it down, "I'm sorry man. I just don't know what to do."

Putting a hand on his friend's back, Naruto walked back down the stairs and out through the courtyard with him, "I said it's okay Kiba. I'll find another lead somehow, and I'll track him down to try again. I'm getting my answers and I'm still taking you with me if you're still down for it."

"Definitely." Kiba said determinedly, narrowing his eyes as they walked back out through the gate to return to Kyuubi and Akamaru, "I'm not going to be helpless like that again. All I need is to train some more." He'd have to ask his mom or sister about it later. His ego was totally bruised and he hadn't even gotten beaten up or anything.

It wasn't necessarily an easy-going walk back to the bench out front, but when they got there things only got set off further. Standing behind the bench that Kyuubi and Akamaru had been sitting at happened to be the person of interest that this entire thing had been centered around, Sai, still wearing a dark purple student's uniform. Didn't that guy have any regular street clothes? They didn't even have a dress code at school, "Hey!"

Sai looked up from the conversation he had seemingly been having with the redhead who looked stunned by whatever she had heard and he waved at Naruto with his odd smile before making a break for it.

Naruto and Kiba chased him away from the bench and stopped by Kyuubi. While Kiba asked Akamaru why he didn't do anything to stop Sai, Naruto was more concerned over the state of his girlfriend, "Kyuu-chan, what happened? What did he do to you?"

"He didn't do anything. I'm fine." She assured him, shaking her head slowly with the same stunned look on her face, "Honestly. Everything's okay."

He didn't believe her, but he wasn't going to get that fact out of her. And this was his shot to bring things together with what Sai was doing interfering with his business and sending his friends to infiltrate his home, "Kiba can you stay here while I catch that bastard?"

"Yeah." Kiba said, taking a seat as he was requested to, "Drag him back here kicking and screaming." He really didn't like Sai even before this, he was suspicious, and now he liked him even less.

Giving Kyuubi a kiss on the cheek, Naruto got up and took off in the direction that Sai went. Hopefully he was faster than Sai was and could catch up to him before he got away. Rounding the corner, he saw Sai climb into a commercial jeep that peeled off before he could catch it, "Fuck!" Naruto snapped at his own lack of speed as he whipped out his cell phone and called a utility number, "Come on, hurry up…" He muttered as he ran forward and tried to keep the jeep in sight for as long as he could.

However, it didn't take long for his relief in this instance to come, as down the street towards him flew his motorcycle with no one steering it. Oh, words could not express how much he loved Tenten's crazy need to tinker with things. A remote calling device in his bike that would be sent to the signal of whatever phone called a particular number, not really as insane as he first thought when he read her instruction manual.

He jumped onto the bike and began tailing the jeep as whoever was driving it saw that he now had wheels and made to lose him in traffic before he could catch up to them.

XxX

(With Kyuubi and Kiba)

Kiba figured he had waited long enough for Naruto to get away and Kyuubi still hadn't spoken yet, but he wasn't as patient and his temper had already been prodded at by his own shortcomings on this day, "So are you going to tell me exactly what the hell happened out here or what?"

The intent look from the boy with the feral features and even his dog, started getting to Kyuubi as she was already rattled, "Okay. Fine. You showed up here tonight so I guess you've got the right to hear this as well. It's kind of important."

"I'm all ears." Kiba said dryly.

_(Flashback – Moments after Kiba and Naruto Left Kyuubi Outside)_

_Sitting on a bench was not her idea of being a vital part of Naruto's plan, but watching the front was important too she guessed. And if someone was coming that way there would probably be a lot of noise, shouting, and collateral damage to let her know that she had to get ready to stop someone._

_But it was certainly boring. Ugh, she could see Kiba's point at being annoyed with all of the sitting earlier. She could have used her stealth technique to scout the area, but Naruto didn't want her sticking her neck out for his problems. That was another thing the two seemed to share; he didn't want her dealing in his professional life lest she get hurt, and she didn't want him getting involved with her past for the same reason._

_Two halves of the same idiot whether they knew it or not._

"_I assume that Naruto-san is inside looking for me."_

_Kyuubi turned around in her seat on the bench to see Sai standing behind her with an emotionless face. She channeled energy to her hands to form her claws and prepared to fight him and keep him there until Naruto and Kiba came back out._

"_That will not be necessary." Sai assured her as he was aware of the building of power coming from the girl in front of him, "There's no need for you to fight me, nor to try and trap me with any of your illusions. I'll wait right here for Naruto-san anyway. Like I told you two before; there's someone that wishes to speak with you both."_

"_Sorry." Narrowing her red eyes on Sai's form as she stroked Akamaru's fur to keep him from attacking Sai since they had something of a truce going at the moment, Kyuubi kept trying to decipher any sort of intent, ill or otherwise, coming from Sai, but he was like a blank slate. She couldn't find a thing in any of his body language, facial expressions, breathing patterns, nothing. What kind of human being was he? Everyone had some kind of tell, "I don't really talk to strangers. My parents taught me as much. Especially strangers that know people that blew my boyfriend's last home up."_

"_That was an unfortunate accident." Sai said in return, "There was never any intention to hurt Naruto-san. We just needed to bring him to our master, and you had already turned down a civil invite and attempted to fight me. Catching him off-guard and capturing him was our next option." Besides… Naruto was the one that threw the fireball into a closet full of industrial cleaning supplies. Not exactly the smoothest or most astute move one could make, "We would like to talk to you as well."_

_That calm and cool way he seemed to be taking the whole situation was getting on Kyuubi's nerves. She showed off her sharper than average canines in a sneer at the pale boy, "And what would we possibly have to talk about. I don't know you, you don't know me. I think I like it that way thank you very much."_

"_We do know you. More specifically we know what you and your family are running and hiding from." If Sai were one to feel satisfaction out of getting the better of someone in a verbal spar he probably would have been grinning from ear to ear when he saw the look of terror on Kyuubi's face, "You can change your last name, you can go to a regular school, your parents can get regular jobs the way that you all did, but we know that you're survivors of the purges going on all over."_

_Kyuubi's mouth felt dry. Too dry to speak. Too dry to ask her question. Why? How? That was what she wanted to ask. Why did Sai and whoever he was working for know these things? How did they know these things that she never told anyone? And why did it matter to anyone except for her? It was her business and her business alone._

_It seemed as if he could read her mind when he placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to her ear to whisper to her, "You're bringing that chaos to our city. Akatsuki is coming closer. They're hunting for any people genetically touched by demons, and they'll be here before you know it. You won't realize it until it's too late and they've found you and yours. You know that. Once they find you again they'll tear Konoha apart to bring you down."_

_Why was he reiterating what she already knew?_

"_I should slash your throat right now and let you bleed out on the sidewalk for what you're saying to me." Kyuubi growled out to Sai, the red of her eyes bleeding out to encompass the whites of them as well. She was trying to keep herself under control. Trying her absolute hardest. Having this person that knew nothing of what Akatsuki were really capable of trying to lecture her? _

"_My master just wants to talk to you two." Sai repeated, drawing back to his earlier point, "And he will get an audience somehow. Who knows? What he wants could be beneficial for you, beneficial for us, and beneficial for Naruto-san. You don't want Naruto-san's blood on your hands. You know he'll die trying to solve this Akatsuki problem himself. He's not powerful or influential enough to do anything."_

"_And your master is?"_

"_Konohagakure was built on a strong foundation. This city has had to have strong roots to survive everything it has been through. We are those roots."_

"_Hey!"_

_At the end of the street, both Kyuubi and Sai could see Naruto and Kiba glaring at Sai and his proximity to Kyuubi. Sai simply smiled and waved at the pair as he whispered one more thing that only Kyuubi could hear, knowing of an Inuzuka's ability to pick up the slightest of sounds even in a city, "We won't hurt Naruto-san. After all… in the past he has helped my master get what he wanted, even if he never knew it." And with that, Sai ran away before he could be caught by Naruto or Kiba._

(End Flashback)

That was a whole lot to take in. A cult of people that hunted people with demonic blood in their lineage and they had apparently already gone after Kyuubi in the past. Wow. Kiba's friends had some serious problems. He always just figured that Kyuubi was hot. He didn't know that she had survived part of an attempted genocide. What do you say to something like that?

"Does Naruto know?"

"He knows part of it." Kyuubi answered, still rather shaken up, "He doesn't know exactly how dangerous the whole thing really is. I'm scared to let him know more about it, but I'm even more scared that if I don't tell him and this whole thing does come to our doorstep, he'll just run out and try to fight them and get himself slaughtered."

Naruto? Get slaughtered? Whoa, now that was something that needed some attention drawn to it, "Are you serious? You think Naruto'll get slaughtered by these guys? A group I've never heard of couldn't possibly be that strong unless they came in numbers. Big numbers. Like, more than twenty at once."

"How about hundreds at once? Does that work for you?" Kyuubi snapped in reply. Once again, someone else just didn't know and spoke of it regardless. When Kiba held his hands up defensively she realized she was just getting a little sensitive over the whole thing, "Sorry… that was too bitchy. But the leaders, they're stronger than anyone. I've never seen them. No half-demon has and lived, but I've heard things when my family were running. One man with the eyes of God, one man with the charisma to make anyone believe in their cause, and one woman that reminds you more of an angel than a human. Those are the big three."

Down by Kyuubi's feet, Akamaru whined and rubbed his nose against the girl's leg as he could sense that talking about this was troubling her. Kyuubi shot the dog a grateful smile and rubbed the top of his head.

"Well you've got to tell him." Kiba said with a shrug, not knowing what he could really contribute opinion-wise. He didn't know anything about this stuff, "You might shake him up a bit, but if he doesn't ever know isn't that worse? He'll get killed from the way you're talking, even if I did help you two out."

"You'd help us?" Kyuubi asked, blinking at Kiba in confusion, "But why would you do something like that? You're not a half-demon like us."

Letting out a barking laugh, Kiba rubbed the space under his nose, "So what? You guys are my friends. And you could always put in a good word for me with Sakura or Ino, or any other potentially hot girls you know out there somewhere." He finished with a grin.

"I'll keep that in mind." Kyuubi said, having to hold back her laughter before sighing, "Thank you Kiba. Both you and Sasuke more or less said that you would help us if things went bad. That means a lot."

"Whatever." Dismissed Kiba, trying to look cool, "Now come on. Let's call your boyfriend and find out if he's caught the pale kid yet."

XxX

(With Naruto – Interstate 89)

Sitting on a motorcycle, weaving in and out of traffic going well over 80 miles per hour with the only safety equipment around a helmet on one's head. Not exactly the smartest course of action for one to take. Of course that's not adding in that the rider of the motorcycle had to dodge ink birds and bats flying at his head from the jeep he was chasing.

At that point it became downright idiotic and damn near suicidal.

"Damn it, pull over!" Naruto yelled into the wind through his helmet as if that would actually solve anything. Whoever was driving that car had even less regard for the property of others than Naruto did because Naruto had borne witness to several near-misses, three of which occurred before they had even turned onto the interstate.

And they were using all five lanes available to them, much to the chagrin of the other motorists on the road.

Managing to pull his way behind the jeep, Naruto looked through the HUD of the bike and waited for the targeting system to lock on to the target vehicle. The buzzing noise let him know that it was time to fire, and he hit a pair of buttons on each of his handlebars to fire shuriken at the jeep right from under his headlights that impaled themselves into the back of the jeep, one sticking into the back window, another taking out a taillight, but none hitting a tire.

"Grr…" Naruto growled to himself at being too trigger-happy with his first intended use of his motorcycle's tools. There had to be a way to target just the tires. Damn that big manual that Tenten wrote on how to make things work. Why couldn't she just draw him some detailed pictures or make a DVD? He hated reading, nothing ever stuck.

At that moment, one of the doors to the jeep opened and Sai popped his head and half of his body out as he began to draw something onto his scroll that sprang to life from it once he was finished. A group of snakes flew off of it and slithered over the jeep before lashing their long bodies out at Naruto. One hit him in the head and disoriented him, forcing the bike to swerve before he restored control. But another snake managed to latch onto the front axle of his vehicle and held on tight, effectively tying Naruto's bike to the jeep ahead of him.

From that point, the driving of Sai's friends got more reckless as they began to drag him all over the road, with Naruto barely missing other cars and keeping his balance as he was forced to keep a certain speed to keep the snake/rope slacked. Thank goodness years of video games prepared him for just this kind of moment.

Naruto sped up enough to get directly behind the jeep enough so that he could pop up a wheelie and plant his front tire on the back of the enemy vehicle. What proceeded to occur was a rudimentary securing of Naruto's motorcycle to the back of this jeep, allowing Naruto to climb off and hop onto the roof of the car.

With his newfound positioning atop Sai's car with him stuck by chakra, Naruto drew his bowie knife from his ankle and tried to drive it down through the roof only for it to fail the first time, "What the hell?" He should have been strong enough to stab it through. Not shaken though, he kept trying until he remembered something. He realized that he had a very nasty jutsu that wouldn't screw up his weapon as he formed a Rasengan in his hand to bring it down, until the window to the jeep rolled down again and a drawn eagle flew out and attached to his head, pecking angrily at his helmet, "Aaahhh! Eagle!"

"Sumi Nagashi (Ink Flush)."

Even more snakes of ink began to wrap onto Naruto and hold him down to the roof of the vehicle like he was a bicycle on a long road trip. And that damn eagle was still pecking at his helmeted head and pissing him off with the headache it was giving him. Managing to fight his way up to his feet, Naruto stomped on the roof as hard as he could, doing nothing. He repeated his action several times, but his hands were not in any kind of position to form any jutsu.

Naruto was forced to fall forward by way of the jeep jerking and knocking his balance off, his head landing towards the front of the roof, hanging over onto the windshield where he was able to see into the car. A blonde young man with a ponytail was driving and in the passenger's seat was a man with dark hair and a mask that only refrained from covering his nose and mouth. Sai was in the backseat and none of them seemed to care about his predicament, and why would they have? He wasn't in danger of falling. They had him.

Too bad no one told Naruto that.

Deciding to make use of the helmet on his head, Naruto tilted his entire upper body back and slammed it hard into the windshield. He then continued to do it again and again until he heard a crack and looked to see that he was actually beginning to pound his way through the windshield with his head. Grinning to himself he slammed his head into the cracked windshield looking like a deranged woodpecker until finally the glass broke through at a corner where from that point his headbutts began tearing the windshield inward. After making enough space, Naruto built up his demonic chakra at his throat and unleashed it in a yell, "Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail)!"

The grating screeching noise of the superpowered shout hit them right where it hurt as far as their senses of hearing went. The blonde driver tried to reach out and grab or punch Naruto, but it was too far to safely reach and drive at the same time, with Naruto tilting his head and body out of reach as the jeep swerved on the street, putting a grin on Naruto's face at how he was annoying them.

Negligent driving was a killer though. Because the blonde driver was unable to see a wall of cars attempting to merge into the far right lane and swerved into it by accident. A car was sideswiped by the jeep, beginning a pileup and sent the jeep spinning out all the way into the concrete barrier in the far right lane where it crashed and stopped.

Naruto had a makeshift seatbelt tying him down to the roof of the car and a helmet on his head, but even so the crash jostled his shoulder right out of the socket, "Ow…" He muttered, still tied up by Sai's ink snakes, "Damn these things are durable…" But with his shoulder dislocated that gave him all of the wiggle room he needed to squirm out of the trap and roll off of the top of the jeep onto the side of the road.

He took the time to scramble a ways away from the jeep and bit down on his lip as he popped his arm back into joint. All the while he could see that Sai and company had punctured the airbag and had gotten out of the car to ride atop one of Sai's birds. Naruto stood back up and ran towards them, but they took off before he could reach them.

Time to bow out and go back home? Hell no. Naruto cut his bike free from the back of the jeep and revved it up to take off after the bird on the ground. Once again he tried to lock onto Sai's bird with Tenten's targeting system, but it was too high in the air to shoot down with a forward-set shuriken launcher. With his injured arm, even though he could keep pace with the bird he could not use actual shuriken to take the bird down since he had to pick and choose whether to steer or to throw, not both. So he chose to simply follow.

The blood pounding in his ears almost kept him from hearing the earpiece he had underneath his helmet ringing that his phone was connected to. Touching the side of his helmet with his injured arm, he answered his cell phone, "Hello?"

"_Finally! We've been trying to call you for the last twenty minutes. Where are you? Kiba says your scent is totally cold. He can't find you."_

Whoops. Maybe he was too jazzed up from the chase to know that Kyuubi was calling him, but that was irrelevant at the moment, "I just got off I-89 and I'm on…" He trailed off so that he could look at his motorcycle's HUD to figure which street he was on, "North Belltower Road. Damn. That's a long way from where I left you two."

"_That's at the edge of town! How far did you go?"_

"To the edge of town. Aren't you paying attention?" He jibed before backtracking once he heard Kyuubi growl over the line, "I'm not turning around. I had to put my head through a windshield to get this close."

"…_What? Nevermind. Just be careful. If you go any further please call me back and tell us. Me and Kiba are getting a ride right now okay?"_

"I'll be fine and I'll call you if anything happens." Naruto assured her, whipping his bike around a corner to continue chasing Sai, "You be careful yourself. Don't rush here. I'm not really in any trouble." With that, he hit the side of his helmet again and hung up just as he saw Sai's bird descend behind a gated off strip mall, "Fuck." Naruto stopped the bike at the shut iron gate and got off, taking his helmet off as well and turning the vehicle off.

The place looked totally abandoned for the longest time. Even longer than he had been alive. Great… this wasn't going to be much more fun than the chase.

Okay… the chase was fun right up until the crash happened, so that wasn't a good comparison. Hopefully they were all more hurt than he was, which someone had to be for them to land instead of flying away the way they had been. Why run here though? It was a terrible place to retreat to if someone was injured and they needed time to treat them. There had to be too many places that Naruto could attack them from if he could find them. Even if one of them ambushed him while he was searching it wouldn't warrant running to this place.

Hopping the fence took no effort and he found himself on the outside of the strip mall in the parking lot. Walking forward on the pavement as the light from the recently risen moon illuminated the area, he looked on the ground and noticed large writing on the ground.

**Remember this place? Familiar isn't it?**

Naruto raised an eyebrow as the words floated up from the ground and disintegrated into the air. What was there to remember? He never went to the edge of town for anything. There wasn't anything out there.

Undisturbed by the message from Sai, obviously from Sai because it was moving ink, Naruto moved into the open atrium of the strip mall, looking around at the overgrown planters filled with high weeds and ungroomed trees. The floors had concrete with weeds growing through them and the stores all over the place were closed down with broken windows.

No sign of Sai, or his two cohorts yet, but Naruto had his claws set and ready in case of a surprise attack. He wasn't putting anything past them. Still, part of him didn't think they wanted him killed or hurt. If that were the case then they probably could have finished him while he was strapped to the roof of their jeep.

So they led him there? But they had no time to set a trap. No one made any calls, sent any messages throughout the chase. So what was the point of even taking him there.

And then as Naruto walked into the maintenance area of the strip mall he froze in place at remembering the dark hallway with the faint light at the end of it coming from his end. He _had_ been there before. And he swallowed a lump in his throat as he remembered the last time he had graced this place with his presence.

The last time he was there he was young, the last time he was with Sasuke, the last time he was unable to fight because he was too weak and injured to do anything to their captives. The last time he had been in this place Itachi had to save their asses at a great personal cost to himself and to the entire Uchiha name in general.

He and Itachi had never spoken of just what had occurred there as Sasuke was unaware and no one else ever got the total truth out of them. It was done to protect Itachi, and Naruto was ultimately grateful to Sasuke's older brother for saving him. What Itachi did would have had him looked upon as a traitor and a monster in the Uchiha Clan, a black sheep even beyond that of Obito. But to Naruto he was a hero, even if he himself never felt that way.

The hairs on the back of Naruto's neck stood up as he walked deeper into the hallway, his footsteps echoing and his memories of his and Sasuke's past torment filling his head as he flexed his fingers out. Sai would have needed a damn good explanation for everything that had happened before this point. But now, after forcing Naruto back to the same place that he and Sasuke had been held as kidnapped children, and seeming to know about it, he would have needed the skills of a master orator to keep Naruto from beating him to a bloody pulp.

And even then that probably still wouldn't have helped him in the end. Not for this.

* * *

Omake: Origins 3

**Responsible Guardians**

(January 5, 1997 – Fourteen Years before Storyline Begins – Naruto Uzumaki: Age 3 Months/ Obito Uchiha: Age 12/ Rin (Hatake): Age 12)

"Why am I here?" An Obito with both of his eyes intact groaned as he followed Rin through the grocery store at a reserved pace. He clearly did not want to be there as evidence from the dragging of his feet and his slouching posture as he pushed a cart full of food.

"Because I'm not going to the store by myself." Rin said with a bit of anger in her tone as she bounced a happy-sounding baby Naruto in her arms. She had to deal with Obito complaining all the way to the store. The bastard could have stayed home at the apartment he, she, and Kakashi shared as teammates since he hated living with his family so much, and he could have stayed at HQ as well, but Kakashi had left on a solo mission and all three of them couldn't leave with a baby that they needed to watch, "Would you stop belly-aching? Kami, isn't Naruto supposed to be the baby here?"

"I'm not being a baby!" Obito disputed heatedly, wishing that she wasn't holding that baby so he could bump into the back of her with the cart he was pushing, "And excuse me for being bored. I'm not a girl like you. Watching a 3 month-old kid do nothing but poop, spit up, and sleep isn't interesting. Naruto's boring, just face it. I can't wait until that kid can walk and talk… then he'll be fun. And I'll be his cool uncle."

Rin rolled her eyes before looking at the bright blue-eyed blonde baby she was holding with the whisker-marks, "Don't listen to Obito-baka. There's nothing cool about him. Now your big brother Kakashi, that's who you should try to take after."

Obito's eye twitched at the utterance of Kakashi, "Yeah, Kakashi… the guy that left you and me with the baby and ran off to the ass-end of nowhere to sulk some more on his 'mission'." Kakashi had been moody since his dad died three months ago during the crazy night that destroyed much of downtown Konoha, took hundreds of lives and wound up killing the leader of the city.

"Lay off of Kakashi already Obito." Rin insisted, trying to settle Naruto who was starting to fuss a bit in her grip, "You might not like anyone in your family except your sister Mikoto, but Kakashi loved his dad… and he idolized sensei… now they're both gone."

"I guess…" Obito said, grabbing a loaf of bread from a display as they went into the children's aisle, "But what about Naruto? Sensei's gone but he's still here… and he definitely needed sensei more than we ever did or ever will. Poor pipsqueak." He frowned while looking at the baby that Rin was holding. He couldn't help but feel for him even if he didn't know what he was missing at the moment, "Hey, he can't eat solid stuff yet can he?"

"Hell no!" Rin said loud enough to get the momentary attention of a few other shoppers in their aisle, taken quite aback by the rather ignorant comment from her friend and teammate, "What's he going to do, gum himself a steak?" She sighed and plopped Naruto in Obito's arms, "Hold the baby while I get some food for him. He's picky, and you'd just pick stuff he wouldn't eat to be funny."

The grin on Obito's face that Rin couldn't see after turning to the shelves and ducking down to peruse the baby food showed that he hadn't actually thought of that… but now that he had it might have been funny. Man that was kind of sick after he took a second to think about it.

As Rin began stacking up more food than he figured any baby would ever eat in a reasonable period of time (He had yet to bear witness to anyone actually feeding Naruto), Obito held Naruto out at arm's length to get a good look at the kid. Naruto just looked back at him curiously before laughing and giving Obito a toothless grin while wriggling around.

Why was this kid so squirmy?

"Hey come on Naruto, stop moving." Obito urged nervously. No one taught him how to hold a damn baby! What was so funny that Naruto didn't want to hold still? There wasn't anything funny in the freaking grocery store for a baby. They weren't even in the cereal aisle with all of the stupid mascots adorning the boxes, "Seriously, chill out already." He said quietly as his hold seemed to be loosening up.

THUMP

Obito's jaw dropped as he stared at his now empty hands before quicker than a whip picking Naruto up off of the ground looking him over to see if he cracked the baby's head open or hurt him in some other way. As a matter of fact Naruto seemed to still be laughing, "Holy crap… you alright?" He asked Naruto only getting more happy wiggling for his query, "Yeah, you're alright… that's good."

He turned around to see that Rin was still getting food. Man, how much was she going to get? He seriously dodged a bullet when he dropped Naruto though. If Rin had seen him do that she would have turned that store into a warzone.

Eventually Rin stood up and dropped all of the food in the cart with a smile on her face, "Okay, that's enough baby crap to get. We've got diapers, food, formula… pretty much all of the stuff Naruto's going to need for a while… and we've got food for all of us at home too. Anything we're forgetting?"

Obito's face lit up when she left that door of opportunity wide open for him, "VHS clearance rack! Yeah, I'm lobbying for 'shitty movie night'! It's gonna be awesome!" He said, handing Naruto back off to Rin before running off with the cart to the front of the store where he saw said terrible movies when they walked in.

"I never agreed to that and all Kakashi said was that he didn't care! That's not a green light! And this isn't even our money to spend! It's a stipend for Naruto!" Rin tried to yell after him, but he was long gone. With a sigh, she adjusted Naruto appropriately in her arms and began walking through the aisle to get to the front back to Obito.

"Oh, he's such a cute baby. Those two look adorable, like a big sister and her baby brother."

Rin smiled and her cheeks heated up at the comment from a pair of older shoppers that had walked past them, "You hear that Naruto? Old ladies think you're cute, and they're right. And your big sister Rin is going to take care of you and make sure you don't end up all messed up in the head like Obito or a pervert like Jiraiya-sama. You're going to be a good boy and-."

THUMP

Rin let out an audible squeak of shock as she felt Naruto slip right out of her arms and fall to the floor. Not missing a beat, she picked him right up and sighed in relief that he didn't seem to be hurt. He did look confused though, along the variety of 'why did this crazy lady just drop me' confused, but he wasn't crying at all.

Looking around, Rin found that there was no one in the aisle to see her drop Naruto, thank goodness. She'd never live that down. She was supposed to be the nurturing member of her team and she so wanted to be a good big sister that Naruto grew up to like. Dropping him would not help that… and Shizune would murder her if she ever found out, "We're going to keep that between you and me okay? I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" She asked, kissing the baby on the forehead, eliciting more giggles from the infant, "I'll take that as a yes for now."

Rin and Obito checked out without another issue, though the two seemed to carry Naruto with a far tighter hold, paying a lot more attention to how they were doing so from that point forward. As they left the store a pair of managers stood by the front office watching them go and shaking their heads trying not to laugh at the two young mercenaries for as long as they were in earshot, "Poor kid." One of them said to another, his resolve eventually breaking into snickers once Obito and Rin left the store.

"Yeah… hey, can we save the tape on the camera that saw the girl and the boy both drop him? I think we can get some money for that footage."

* * *

**Chapter done. Merry Christmas fools. **

**So, I've not got much to say. I'm all tuckered out. Hope you all enjoyed and will continue to do so in the future. I'm going to go do something productive with my time since the holidays mean little to me anymore as a whole. I guess I'm just waiting for New Years to watch my friends do stupid things to ring in 2012.**

**But next year… the Mayans have forseen it. AAAHHH! End of the road people! Mad Max-style apocalypse! Just walk away from the gasoline! Just walk away from the gasoline!**

**Now I'm going to go deal with the problem of the virus on my laptop. I am currently not using it to upload this and I'm pissed.**

***Ahem* Kenchi out.**


	43. Ghosts of the Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If anyone knows how to remedy this please leave directions on how to do so in a random train station locker so that an ambitious young man with very 'shades of grey' moral scruples can come out on top in this crazy, crazy world we live in.

**Chapter 43: Ghosts of the Past**

* * *

"Sai!" Naruto yelled angrily, still standing at the beginning of the darkened hallway that he had been led to. He got no answer, but the fact of the matter was that this was no coincidence. Sai obviously knew about what this place, this abandoned strip mall meant to days gone past.

How much did he know about it though? That was the real question. If it was more than Naruto had promised he would ever allow anyone else to ever discover he would probably have to kill not only Sai and the two cohorts he had with him, he would have to kill whoever was pulling Sai's strings as well.

"You really fucked up Sai." Naruto said, pulling out his large knife from its holster at his ankle as he slowly started advancing down the corridor, "You shouldn't have led me here. This isn't going to end well for you."

Footsteps couldn't even be heard over the sound of Naruto's blood pounding in his ears. Even if he wanted to be tough, even if he was intent on getting to the bottom of all of this Sai crap that he had been dealing with since his summer's start, there was always going to be something about this place that messed with his head.

But that wasn't important. It wasn't all that long time ago any longer. He wasn't eight anymore. He wasn't kidnapped with Sasuke this time. He wasn't tied up. And he wasn't being beaten to within an inch of his life. He was old enough and strong enough to defend himself this time.

"It doesn't have to end badly for anyone Naruto-san." Sai's voice echoed from further down the long hallway, "This was not done to intimidate you, nor was it done to get you incensed. It is just to show you something important."

"What would that be?" Naruto asked derisively. He didn't care what Sai wanted to show him at this point. He wanted him out of his head, out of his business, and out of his life.

"That we have been aware of you longer than you know of. You obviously remember what happened the last time you were here don't you?"

"Shut up…" Naruto grounded out through his teeth. He wanted to run in there and see if he could cut down whatever was behind that door. But that would have been stupid. He had already gone ahead and had fallen into whatever this was meant to be. There was no need to make it any worse, "If you just want to talk… you're doing a _really_ shitty job of convincing me to. How could you even ask me that stupid question to begin with?"

_(Flashback – Seven Years Ago)_

_Tied to a pair of back-to-back wooden chairs both Naruto and Sasuke sat with copious amounts of grievous injuries and blood on their frames, neither really moving or trying to escape any longer as they thoroughly lacked the strength to do so._

_Both of Sasuke's eyes were swollen shut by this point, but with his sense of hearing he was able to distinguish Naruto's own labored breathing pattern that had shifted from what it had been doing a moment ago, "Hey dobe… are you awake?"_

"…_Deputy." Naruto managed to say weakly with a cough, "Yeah."_

"_Naruto I can't see."_

_Fear went through Naruto's heart at that moment, knowing just what their captors had been hoping for when they had taken Sasuke and him by virtue of being there. They wanted his Sharingan… or at least they would have if Sasuke had unlocked it yet. He had not done so at that point in time, but they didn't know that until after the boys had already been taken, "They didn't… you know. Did they?"_

"_No… I've still got my eyes." A sigh of relief came from Naruto before Sasuke spoke again, "I'm so stupid. I should have known they weren't really police officers… but why'd you stop too?"_

"_I thought they figured out that I stole from the corner store again and decided to not run since they had a squad car." Naruto's arm was numb, but not from falling asleep. They were being used as bait to lure out a pair of useful Uchiha eyes, and the lure was the sounds of them being tormented by their captors. In the most recent transmission to the future prey Naruto's arm had wound up broken, "How long have we been here?"_

"_I don't care…" Sasuke muttered with a bit of a sniffle, "I want to go home. I want to go… home…" With that, the little bit of awareness Sasuke had to keep himself conscious with his own terrible injuries ended and he went out cold the way Naruto had moments earlier._

"_Deputy?" Naruto said, shaking the chair a bit to get Sasuke's attention, "Deputy wake up." He ordered, not wanting Sasuke to fall asleep with the amount of pain he was in at the moment. He might not wake up, "Sasuke wake up!" No answer, and Naruto tried to rock the chair harder but he couldn't swing his legs that well and they were too short for his feet to touch the ground._

_He-. No, _they_ couldn't die like this. Not here. Not alone in the dark, away from anyone that would care or even know about it. The thought was scary enough when there wasn't any chance of it happening and at the moment that was exactly the situation both Naruto and Sasuke found themselves in. _

_Naruto didn't want to cry from pain in front of the bastards doing this to them or in front of Sasuke either, but their tormentors were gone for the moment, Sasuke was unconscious, and enough was enough. It was all he could take as he started sobbing quietly to himself in the chair._

_Maybe someone would be coming for Sasuke, but who in the world would be looking for him? Kakashi, Obito, and Rin were gone on a mission. There was nobody on his side that would be helping him out._

(End Flashback)

The past experiences flashed through Naruto's mind in the blink of an eye before he shut them to block them out, "You're talking about what happened to me the last time I was here… like you know about it." Silence was his only answer in that regard, "Only three people left here alive the last time I was here."

"It's true that I wasn't one of them." Sai's echoing voice stated, "But just because everyone here was killed back then, do you really think that there was no one that knew of what had transpired? My master knew of it, and he protected both you and Itachi from scrutiny afterwards. No questions were asked."

Naruto's eyes were narrowed at that point. Itachi was never questioned because he was Itachi Uchiha; and he had lost something very important that day in saving Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto was never questioned because he was an eight year old victim at the time.

"And now all he requests of you is an audience from you. You and you alone. So please come with me."

"I don't have a mom, but I'm pretty sure she'd have told me never to talk to strangers." Naruto replied starting to back out of the room with his combat knife held up in case of an attack from the dark, "I'm leaving. I'll find you again, and then we'll have our talk. I'm not going to some other guy and making myself vulnerable like that."

"You say that as if it will be that easy to get away now that you're here."

From the shadows of the room, a figure dashed out at Naruto with a small tanto to clash against his knife. Naruto defended himself from the first slash before grabbing the weapon arm of his enemy and holding it out away from himself before using his knife to violently stab the attacker in the stomach several times.

His offending enemy turned into a puddle of ink at his feet as the hallway behind him suddenly found itself guarded by a murderer's row of ten ink lions, growling at him as if to tell him that he wasn't going to be getting out that way very easily. Not without getting a few new nice scars from their claws and fangs for his trouble.

Over-pursuit was incredibly dangerous. Naruto had over-pursued Sai after he figured that he was close and that his entourage was injured. He had finally gotten close to getting some answers on just what Sai wanted with him and why he was meddling in Kaisha Hein business, and he had gotten himself trapped. Way to go, "Maybe I should have told Kyuubi to rush here?"

"Can we talk now Naruto-san?"

"Sure." Naruto replied to Sai's questioning voice, moving away from lions in the hallway. They didn't seem like they were going to attack him unless he tried to escape through them first so he turned his attention back into the room where he couldn't see his captor, "Talk. You say you know what happened. Well what happened if you're so smart and your master knows everything?"

"Simple. Itachi Uchiha killed his best friend in cold blood with you as a witness." Sai's matter-of-factly tone as he so calmly said this as if it were as simple as that got the hairs on the back of Naruto's neck to rise, a swell of anger rushing through him, "Is my assessment of the incident incorrect?"

"Yes, it's wrong." Naruto thought, clenching his teeth and fists as his nails began to sharpen and dig into his palms, "Itachi and his friend Shisui saved Sasuke and my lives. And Shisui did die, but Itachi didn't have a choice. He's a hero. They both were."

_(Flashback – Seven Years Ago)_

_It had to have been quite some time since Naruto had last taken his licks from his captives so to speak, because he was able to fall asleep… or black out. One or the other, it didn't really matter because he hadn't been allowed to do either since he had been there. Either way he hadn't been disturbed in quite some time because it was allowed to happen._

_But he was awakened by quite a terrible ruckus outside of the room of wherever he was. His slowly healing eyes blearily opened to the dark that he had come to expect of the room as shouting and other sounds of mayhem including hard thuds and sharp noises of the ring of metal through the air reached his sensitive ears._

_As they did and he began to start paying attention, the door to the room flew open and a figure rushed past the place where Naruto and Sasuke were tied in chairs back-to-back, taking up a position with both of them shielding him from the door._

_The light from the hallway outside let Naruto see that he had auburn hair in a ponytail, wore a certain kind of military uniform that he'd never seen before, and had a tanto held at his and Sasuke's throats._

_For the first time in a few days, Naruto had a spark of life go through him that hadn't been there since the first day he had been captured and his body had been worn down. Though this spark was mostly because he felt his life was about to come to an abrupt end._

_He waited for the pain to come but it never did. Instead rapid footsteps padded down the hall before blocking out his sight of the light mostly. He could see clearly enough that one of the young men standing there happened to be his fellow captive's brother Itachi, someone he himself knew rather well. But the other person he didn't know. They were both dressed in black operational clothing with badges on their chests, but the new person was a few years older than Itachi, his dark hair was messier than Itachi's and his nose was a bit wider._

_Also he was wounded enough that his right eye was missing._

_That was something that Naruto didn't need to see after everything else that had happened, because if his rescuers were that hurt already… well needless to say he started to hyperventilate a bit, "Itachi…" Naruto managed to choke out without sobbing through it._

"_It's going to be okay Naruto-kun." Itachi said, neither he nor his friend moving towards the man that seemed to be using Naruto and Sasuke as human shields, "We're going to get you out of here. Shisui and I have come to help you both." So that was the other young man's name; Shisui._

"_You're not going to do anything." The man behind Naruto and Sasuke said, "Your brother's been a big disappointment so far. An Uchiha without a Sharingan. Didn't you unlock yours when you were five years old? We've been unable to make him draw upon it, so it's actually a good thing you two are here. That makes four-… well, three Sharingan eyes we can take."_

_Shisui held his tanto forward, ignoring the pain of his missing eye as there were kids to save, one of them being his relative, "You aren't making it out of here in one piece you know. You think you can kill us? You touch another hair on those two and they won't find enough of you to identify the body. If you just give up, we're honor-bound and sworn to simply arrest you… we don't have to adhere to that if you resist."_

_The man didn't make another sound, instead throwing his tanto blade first at both Itachi and Shisui, forcing them to lean away from each other to dodge it, but as they looked away from the move they turned back to see the man's hands held in a strange hand-seal where his hands formed a square with his fingers, "__Shinranshin no Jutsu (Mind Body Disturbance Jutsu)__!"_

_Before Itachi knew it, Shisui had launched towards him and tried to stab him with his tanto, barely getting a nightstick out to block the blade, struggling against it as his best friend was seemingly trying to kill him, "Shisui… what are you doing?"_

"_I can't control my body Itachi." Shisui struggled to say as he kept working to impale his partner, "That guy… he did something to me." And he wasn't even looking into Itachi's eyes either. There wasn't going to be any genjutsu attempt to free or at least subdue him. The man controlling him was smart, or at least smart enough to know that avoiding any aspect of the Sharingan was for the best._

_Itachi attempted to break away and move to attack the man controlling Shisui, the last kidnapper standing, but Shisui was too fast for him to simply look away from, appearing in front of Itachi again with a Shunshin to swing at him with his weapon. Itachi blocked it and jabbed Shisui in the stomach with the end of the nightstick, but ended up getting kicked in the face for his troubles._

_The two continued onward with Shisui trying to kill Itachi but limited to melee attacks, and Itachi trying to merely subdue his friend. Itachi eventually took advantage of Shisui's lack of ninjutsu use and replaced himself with a clone comprised of clones to get behind him and kick him into the far wall of the room, over the head of the kids and their captor._

_He took his eyes off of Itachi just as Shisui sailed over his head, and as they lowered back onto Itachi he found that Itachi was already on him and had smashed him in the face with his nightstick, sending blood flying all about. He had finally gotten him away from the kids though._

_Itachi stuck with Naruto and Sasuke and created a clone to move forward and finish their enemy once and for all, "__Bunshin Daibakuha (Clone Great Explosion)__!"_

_A blast rocked the room as Itachi shielded both Naruto and Sasuke with his body. But when the smoke and debris cleared and it became obvious that the room wasn't going to collapse he turned to confirm his kill._

_It wasn't exactly the kill he had been expecting._

_Shisui's controlled body had gotten back up and had been used to shield the kidnapper from the explosion. Blood spilled from his badly burned body and he fell to the ground, missing his arm at the elbow._

_The moment Shisui fell to the ground, Itachi turned his eyes hatefully toward the kidnapper who stood unscathed, having dropped his now useless hand-seal now that the person under his control had been gravely wounded and was no use in a fight. At least that meant it was one down._

"_Your eyes are needed by us for the good of Konoha." The kidnapper said from his place standing alone still ready to fight, "Having the Sharingan in the hands of mere police that enforce the peace isn't enough. They could be used for so much more."_

_They had kidnapped Sasuke as they figured he would be the easiest target to procure the Sharingan from. He was the youngest child of the Uchiha that actually went out away from supervision from time to time. But they couldn't use his Sharingan that was latent inside of him if they extracted his eyes before it was clear that he had activated them, hence the brutal treatment to force him to draw upon his kekkei genkai._

_The man's hands moved to form another hand-seal, but Itachi was faster, and he didn't have Naruto and Sasuke as shields anymore. When it came to hand-seals, Itachi could use at least three in the time it took most people to make one, and that was what he did._

"_Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu)__!"_

_The scorching fireball that flew from Itachi's mouth blasted against his enemy and propelled him back into the wall, forcing him to yell in pain before he burned up within a matter of seconds. An unrecognizable body sat against the far wall as latent flames burned the floor and the area surrounding him._

_Hate and anger burned in Itachi's eyes as he looked at the fire, but a cough from Shisui got him to rush over to his friend who was in terrible shape, "Shisui…" Itachi said quietly, full of remorse, "I'm… I'm sorry."_

"_It's not your fault." Shisui said weakly, the explosion having ruined his vocal cords and throat, "I'm done for. Just take me out."_

_Itachi cringed harshly and shook his head, "No. I can get you out of here. I can get you to the hospital. They can fix you." He tried to reason to his horribly injured friend. It had been his jutsu that had done the deed, "Just hold on."_

"_Itachi." Shisui said firmly before spitting some blood, "You can't get me to a hospital in time… I'm miserable here. It's merciful damn it. Just do it. I'm dead no matter what you do." From that part of town at the very edge of it the hospital was forty-five minutes away… if they had a car. They did not as arriving by vehicle would have ruined their element of surprise for the attack, "Come on… we both knew that this could have ended up being a one-way trip."_

_A fidgeting Naruto made a small painful whine mixed with a bit of a cry as the ropes continued to bite into his flesh. He had just watched someone die and another person was doing the same right before his eyes._

_This got Itachi's attention momentarily and that of Shisui too, "See? You've got that kid and your brother to worry about. They need help… so stop trying to help a dead man. Remember what I told you." He knew he had won when he saw Itachi's face turn stony, "Alright then. Make it quick would you? I don't feel like having this last the next hour if you know what I mean." He morbidly joked._

_Itachi nodded before the separate tomoe of his Sharingan began to spin, indicating that he had used a genjutsu to put Shisui under. From that point there was only one thing left to do._

_And using the nearby tanto of the man he had just slain, Itachi ended his friend's life at his behest. He tried to make sure that Shisui never felt a thing, but he could never know if that were truly the case or not. It had been his fault that things had been put in that situation in the first place. It was his jutsu that had put the stamp on Shisui's demise to begin with._

_It was all his fault from the start._

_The whole plan that was launched into action to save Sasuke was a result of his own hotheadedness when he finally captured someone that knew of their location. Instead of calling for help, fearing that a police standoff would end in the death of his brother he enlisted the help of his partner, relative, and best friend for a more subtle approach. An approach that failed. _

_Now his closest confidant was dead because of him and because of an impulsive decision he would lose everything he worked for. He'd be outcast worse than his uncle Obito was._

_With so many thoughts swimming through his head; the remorse, the panic of watching Shisui die, the exhaustion from the battle he had just waged to rescue his brother, all of that, he turned around to face Naruto and Sasuke and to cut them loose. They were still there, they still needed his help. Shisui was right._

_Since his brother was still unconscious, he freed Naruto from his bonds first, checking the little boy over a bit to try and keep himself from thinking of his deceased friend, something that did not work. He was quite certain that the weight of what he had just done was evident in his eyes._

_Not particularly in the way he figured it would be._

"_Itachi… what's wrong with your eyes?"_

(End Flashback)

Itachi had developed the Mangekyou Sharingan as a result of Shisui's death. Neither of them ever spoke a word of what had transpired that day. There was no need to since the identity of the people that abducted them had never been determined. The bodies never received identities to go with them. Anything that could be said would have only hurt Itachi, so little Naruto promised Itachi in a very childish manner that he wouldn't tell anybody about what happened. About the new Sharingan, about how Shisui died, nothing.

As he got older he realized that he had unknowingly saved Itachi's career. Itachi had never shown anyone in his family the Mangekyou Sharingan because despite the strength it granted him it took him killing a comrade; his friend, to utilize it.

Using it also waged hell on Itachi's vision as he would later come to learn; his eyes would begin to bleed, and who knew what else it did to him. This was why he never used it unless he found it necessary.

But the most important thing about it was the fact that there was no other human being on the planet that knew about him having it except for Naruto. Sasuke had been unconscious the entire time and there was no way anyone else knew anything. Or so he thought until now.

"Itachi Uchiha is my fucking hero. Shisui too." Naruto said, blood dripping from his hands onto the ground from where his nails bit into his palms, "He saved my life. It wasn't his fault Shisui died either… the people that took us killed Shisui. I've heard him kick his own ass about it enough, I don't need to hear it from someone that doesn't even know what happened there!"

The only two active police that Naruto had ever really respected. He actually still visited Shisui's grave.

"How do you even know about it?" Naruto asked, trying to curb his anger with speech instead of just trying to hold it in and let it build. That was one question that Sai didn't answer. And that was something that Naruto honed in on very quickly, "Sai… how do you know about it? No one walked away alive from this place that night except for me and Itachi."

More silence still. Either he was thinking of a lie, or he simply didn't want to tell the truth.

"…You must understand Naruto-san, that it was done with Konoha's best interests in mind. Just like with why my master wishes to recruit you."

The first lion in the hallway closest to the room exploded in a burst of blue flames drawn upon by Naruto's hand. He wasn't sitting there for a moment longer. The people that worked with Sai were the ones that almost ruined him and Sasuke as kids, the ones that were responsible for the death of a brave man and messing with the entire family of the Uchiha in one night.

The only witness aside from himself was Itachi Uchiha, nd the only proof he had would ruin Itachi's entire career, so he couldn't even say anything about it. Who was this master of Sai's, and what was his deal?

"You don't do something in a city's best interest and turn around and screw over that many people!" Naruto shouted loudly. His hair began to turn white and grow past his neck and down his back as a pair of ears sprouted on his head and his whisker-marks deepened, signifying his ascent, **"I'm done with you! ****Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)****!"** Another stronger fireball was thrown from his hands and blew another pair of lions back to ink.

His senses now heightened to an even further degree than normal, Naruto noticed the presence of another person in the room in a corner by the ceiling that he then plastered with a fireball, engulfing whoever it was in flames; another ink clone of Sai.

"You'll find escaping more difficult than you think. You should just stay put and wait for my master. I've already contacted him."

More lions, snakes, and other deadly animals seemed to come from the other end of the hallway and file into the room with the others already there to try and box Naruto in. Sai had obviously been busy from wherever the real one was.

He could have fought them, but he would have caved the room in with any jutsu strong enough to force them all back. He was too surrounded to use clones, and even if that weren't the case, clones he created in this form were normal except for appearance; they didn't share his abilities.

That was fine. He had a perfectly good set of claws and sharp teeth on him too. He could deal with them the old-fashioned way; the oldest fashioned of ways as a matter of fact.

XxX

(Elsewhere in the Strip Mall)

As Naruto began tearing through Sai's dozens of chakra animals with his bare hands, Sai was sitting on the roof a ways away from the backroom where he had Naruto trapped, getting a running report from small ink mice, running up to him and transforming into words that illustrated just what was going on as if the sounds of fighting echoing through the property weren't enough of an indication.

"Danzo-sama should be very interested in these results." Sai mused to himself as he wrote down his own report for posterity. His comrades had left a while ago as they had only meant to be support on his mission in case it got too dangerous. He was unable to procure a sitdown with Naruto, but these results were just as good. If he didn't want to be a part of them, ROOT had no problem taking him their way, "The natural fighting ability of a half-demon/half-human creature is just as formidable as he said it would be."

It was a power that they needed to have harnessed if their way was ever truly going to be the way that Konohagakure no Sato was run.

Power had been taken by then when Shisui's right eye was snatched out in the middle of the mall battle, and power would be taken again when they gained Naruto Uzumaki into their ranks and correctly conditioned him to their liking. And if it wasn't going to be him there was a perfectly fine female specimen of half-demon that could be taken as well.

Oops, time to start drawing some more chakra beasts of ink for Naruto to deal with while he retreated. There was no more reason to be there. A full-scale fight against Naruto as he was without a strategy in place to defeat him wasn't the best idea.

And as he saw a car pull up to the front gate where Naruto's motorcycle was parked he realized that it was probably the best idea to escape and report his findings back to Danzo. There was no reason to get into a whole big thing against not only Naruto but three other people as well.

With his latest batch of ink animals, Sai created a bird to fly away on; its inky blackness blending in well in the dark night sky.

XxX

"You seem like a woman with a lot of class." Kiba said smoothly as he scaled the fence that Kyuubi and Haku had already climbed upon determining that Naruto had gone in this location, "I can't believe we've never met before, but my friends are jerks and don't introduce me to any beautiful women." His eyes were locked firmly on the older dark-haired mercenary clad in a kimono.

Haku calmly fished a set of needles out of her kimono which she then used to destroy a set of ink animals coming their way, "I'm sorry, but you're too young for me to date." She said apologetically as her senbon forced the ink creatures into puddles.

"I'm 15. I'm a year younger than you."

"Oh." Haku said before smiling back at him momentarily, "Well that still stands. In that case you're not really my type. Again, I'm sorry." Zabuza probably would have killed any punk kid she tried to date and take back to meet him anyway. She was actually doing Kiba a favor. With that she walked forward to where Kyuubi had just finished destroying her own pair of ink creatures with her claws after a short fight, "What kind of issue is Naruto-kun involved in now? Always in so much trouble…"

Kyuubi frowned, breathing a bit heavily from the sudden fight they had just been forced to wage, being attacked outside and just inside of the gate of the abandoned strip mall, "It's your business too. That's why I called you to help us get here Haku." Haku had a car, they did not, "This Sai guy, whoever he is, he's been messing with operations of your PMC. It just so happens that it involves Naru-kun."

A dejected Kiba sighed and followed behind them both girls with a hangdog look on his face, "It can't possibly be this hard to find a girl that'll dig me can it?" His nose started burning something fierce as they actually began walking into the strip mall, "Ugh. The smell of ink is stiff in this place."

They passed by many empty storefronts, but none led them in the right direction that was necessary, "So you have a scent to follow now right?" Kyuubi asked Kiba, remembering how his ability to trace things by smell faltered once he and Naruto went inside the apartment complex where Sai had 'lived', at least until they had located it.

"Definitely. It's getting stronger as we go along. I can smell Naruto too." Kiba said as he started jogging, the two girls following behind him as he took the lead, "Yeah, come on we're close now." He led them to a hallway covered wall-to-wall in ink that led to a backroom, "Naruto's in here."

The trio came to a stop and saw Naruto splattered in ink, back in his normal blonde-haired form with his locks stained black as he sat against the back wall, staring into space vapidly, "I told you I wasn't in any trouble." He said, getting a stern look complete with hands on hips from Kyuubi, "I need a shower."

Kyuubi opened her mouth to begin a bit of a tirade about the whole calling her thing, but Haku walked forward instead and smacked Naruto one on the top of the head, much to his pained surprise and chagrin. Haku didn't hit people. She didn't even like hitting people during fights, "And you didn't find this important enough to bring to the company instead of choosing to handle it yourself? It's not just your business you know." She stated with an upset look on her face, "Naruto-kun you need to grow up. People can't deal with all of their problems on their own, especially when it's someone else's problem too."

"Alright…" Naruto apologized, rubbing the spot where Haku hit him. For someone that wasn't good at taijutsu she certainly had a right hand on her, "I should have told someone, but Ero-sennin gave me the week off. I figured that meant to save all of my stuff for next week, not just the training or the missions."

Haku held her temple and shook her head, "You taking a week off doesn't mean that your problems do. We all know that already. Anytime you need help, that's what we're for." She then motioned for him to stand up which he did quickly to keep from angering Haku further. He trotted over to the door to give Kiba a high-five.

A grinning Kiba gave him a hard pat on the back for his troubles afterward, "You caused that car wreck on the freeway didn't you? One car and no injured in it? It looked like the jeep you were chasing too."

Naruto rolled his eyes in return. Of course Kiba would have thought that a near catastrophic car wreck was cool.

Okay, it was cool.

But then that turned his attention to the second female in the room; his girlfriend who was staring at Haku with an owlish expression on her lovely features. Naruto walked up to her and stood in her line of sight, checking her over to see if she was really alright; the run-in with Sai on the street still fresh in his mind, "Kyuu-chan, how are you holding up?"

Hearing Naruto's voice snapped her out of her little thinking spot and she fixed him with a fond smile, "I'm fine… just thinking about all of this." She had indeed been thinking about the situation at hand, a portion of it anyway. Namely the part where Sai spoke to her of his knowledge of her Akatsuki problem.

It also brought up what Haku had said just moments ago. That people can't deal with all of their problems on their own. Perhaps it was really time to come clean to Naruto as to just what was out there, what would be lurking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives. Because if he didn't know about it and they tried to go about dealing with the issue on their own they'd most certainly die.

"Naruto." Kyuubi said, getting his clear and undivided attention on the way out of the strip mall. Whatever it was had to be serious for her to use the full method of saying his name, "When you take me home tonight we need to have a talk about something." She looked over at Kiba and saw him give her a nod egging her forth. Thus she did, "It's important."

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ – Jiraiya's Quarters)

Sitting at his desk, Jiraiya ran a hand through his long white shaggy mane of hair with a sigh as he continued to go over some of the reports from the more sensitive missions that had recently been run by some of his underlings. Along with that he also had multiple news clippings from around the region, not just from within Konoha, using them as a reference point for his own deductions.

A knock came at the wall of the room and he turned around to see Tsunade leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed over his chest. Any other time he would have been staring blatantly at the cleavage being presented for the benefit of his 20/20 vision, but despite his many vices he was still a man that knew when it was time to work and when it was time to play,

"You've been down here all by yourself for two days pervert." Tsunade said as she walked into the room and unfolded her arms, holding up a bottle of scotch, "I know you've got glasses around here somewhere. Take a break and have a few drinks."

It took a moment, but Jiraiya set his work aside and opened a drawer to his desk, pulling out two small glasses and setting them down as Tsunade pulled up a chair nearby, "You're lucky I'm almost as much of a lush as you are Tsunade-hime." He said as she opened the bottle and began pouring into the glasses, "I really shouldn't be taking a break until this gets handled."

"Until what gets handled?" Tsunade asked, watching Jiraiya imbibe in some of the alcohol to rest himself for a bit, "I know, I know, I'm just lead medic and all that. You're the one that sensei left in charge when I left and Minato died and all of that, but I've been around this kind of thing for my entire life. I can probably help."

Jiraiya let the liquid hit his throat and savored the taste a bit before moving aside a bit to show Tsunade what he had been doing, "The kid came back and told me about how that mission he was on ended; with the Gato guy being killed on his escape vessel at sea. But the kid was fighting, Kakashi was fighting, and Tenten was running away at the time. None of them did it. So since then I've been getting all kinds of reports from other missions."

He stopped talking at that point and let Tsunade read for herself. It didn't take her long to pick up on what Jiraiya was talking about as she raised a well-kept blonde eyebrow questioningly, "Assassination missions with targets already killed beforehand so we couldn't collect the full mission pay, sabotage on our own mission vehicles to adhere our mission progress, unexplained spontaneous surprise attacks on our people in town assignments…" She frowned deeply at so much of this information, "What the hell is this?"

"It's a scary pattern hime." Jiraiya croaked as he finished downing his beverage and began pouring himself another, "This happened before if you remember. I know you just about hightailed it out of Konoha after it was over, but you were in the hospital that night. You know what I'm talking about."

"Nenshou Ha no Yoru (Night of the Burning Leaf)." Tsunade said, recalling the night Jiraiya was talking about. She wished she didn't, but she did. She was in the hospital working when the city was nearly torn apart, and Minato wound up dead… amongst many others, "Are you sure? How do you know?"

Jiraiya slammed his hand on the desk covered with papers and files, "Because this is what happened then, only now it's more spaced out. It's not occurring all on one day, but it's a pattern. Damn it we know who's doing it, why can't sensei just let me kill him already and be done with it?"

"Because Danzo is too influential and you know it." Tsunade answered the question even though it was obviously rhetorical in nature and intent, "If he didn't storm up to that old bastard's mansion fifteen years ago and cut his head off on the spot himself what makes you think he'll let you do it now. Nobody's even died yet this time. It's like he's having his force pester us instead of actively moving against us."

Danzo was such an important figure that if any of Kaisha Hein's operatives killed him at all the backlash would be insurmountable. It would actually wind up with the fringe organization coming head-to-head with the police force after decades and decades of a shaky truce between them. The police mostly kept a policy of if they don't see Kaisha Hein work, they wouldn't engage. If it weren't blatantly obvious that they had been acting there would be no action taken. It kept a sort of balance in the city.

"How has it been this long and I still haven't found evidence to bury him yet?" Jiraiya grumbled to himself as he watched his partner peruse away through reports the way he had been for the past two days, "He had something to do with it. We just don't know what. His men were plain-clothed when they fought in the riot that night, they had no noted connections to him, they were like sleepers."

"If it happens again then I'll tell you what. We'll both kick his door down day, noon, or night, and I'll help you break his neck in public."

"The last time it happened Minato wound up dead and so did his wife. I'd rather it never happen again at all. The satisfaction of getting to slit his throat and watch the dust come out isn't worth anyone else's death. Not like that."

And Jiraiya was right. Getting to punt Danzo's head straight to the city limits wasn't worth the amount of trouble it would take to gain enough reason to be allowed to do so. He was careful, and he had most of the city's players in check despite the fact that he himself held no position of mention. It would have been amazing if it weren't so terrifying.

To think… he used to be one of them back before their sensei ran the show.

"I'll talk to the old monkey again about it…" Tsunade said, trying to salvage something positive from the Danzo situation, "Maybe I can make him budge on it now that I'm back, but I doubt it. If he didn't move on Danzo when he ran the company, and if he didn't let us do it back when he left and started running the city, he's probably never going to let us do it until it's blatantly clear what has to happen."

A nod came from Jiraiya as he knew well what one of the reasons of hesitance just so happened to be, "They used to be friends. I know how hard that can be. Sensei's got enough regrets these days you know. Orochimaru, Minato, letting you leave. Too much for him to just allow himself to make another decision based off of his feelings."

What a headache. The only remedy for such as far as Tsunade was concerned was another drink, which she partook in, "Why'd I come back here again?" She asked aloud with a bit of humor in her tone.

"Because you love me?"

"Try again idiot."

XxX

(Uchiha Main Household)

Quietly sitting in the study of the house underneath a lamp, Itachi had a book in his lap that he was currently reading for leisure. However he was forced to squint in order to make out the small type on the pages. So his vision had gotten worse since his battle with Kimimaro over a month ago.

Damn Mangekyou Sharingan… yet another reason it was not worth the tradeoff at all that it took to obtain it.

Corrective eyewear didn't help, and things were beginning to seem more blurry than just displaced.

It was appropriate that a power that had to be gained under such a dark method had to come with such a vital drawback; increasing blindness with each use. Something like that made him feel a bit of reprieve from his guilt of what had happened to result in his obtaining of the advancement of his kekkei genkai. Killing his closest friend and his mentor after leading him to an event where he at best would have otherwise lost an eye.

"_Itachi, the entire reason we're partners is because you're the future. I'm supposed to make sure you get yourself in gear to run the entire police force by the time your father steps down. Whatever I have to do to make sure that you make it that far… well that's what I'm here for. I'm just the nameless guy that's teaching you the ropes Itachi. No one's supposed to remember my name, even if I wind up sacrificing my life to protect the peace for others. Call me sick, but I kind of like it that way."_

Shisui didn't want some big memorial for himself. But Itachi still visited his grave every so often. He and Naruto would go every so often. For being a disrespectful little hellion, Naruto was very respectful to Shisui. This was one of the reasons that Itachi considered Naruto a good kid.

Keeping the secret of his Mangekyou Sharingan was another reason.

There had to be a way to stop himself from going blind though. How would he be an effective commander of the police force if he could no longer see? How would he even get that far if he couldn't see? No one would allow a blind man such a station even if he grew in strength further.

The answer might have lied in a bit of a legend in clan. It wasn't supposed to be real, but then again the Mangekyou Sharingan was thought to be another myth passed down due to how despicable it was.

'A tablet with the secrets of the Sharingan and the doujutsu descended from the original chakra user.'

Now there was something. But it was lost and no one had any idea how to find it. At least no one that was an Uchiha did.

Well there was the hearsay of the man with the eyes of the original chakra user based out of the lands held by Salamander Hanzo. He'd have to look for the unnamed man with the Rinnegan that there were so many rumors about.

It was better than nothing though. Thus it looked like he was planning a trip to Amegakure to dredge up some information on this whole thing. He needed to contact his informant and get a way in set up.

…He also needed to figure out someone to go with him. This wasn't something that he could really do alone, even if he was very powerful. It wasn't about strength because there was no fight to be had, it was just about having company. He'd just take Sasuke, but he didn't want his little brother to know of the despicable eyes that he possessed.

With that parameter placed that meant that there was only one person he knew that he could take, because he was the only other person that knew about the Mangekyou Sharingan currently in Itachi's possession.

Perhaps he could enlist Naruto's accompaniment under the guise of a mission?

XxX

(Kyuubi's House – Later that Night)

Naruto sat alone in Kyuubi's room behind a closed door per her request to wait for her to talk to him. He was a bit uncomfortable due to the manner of his visit, as after he entered the door and got the usual amicable greeting from the girl's mother Setsuna and the glare from her father, Kyuubi had taken the two of them aside. When they all returned the mood had changed and Kyuubi had then escorted him right to her room.

On the other side of the door, Kyuubi herself was pacing around, fitfully trying to figure how she was going to word what she had to say. She hadn't had to deal with it for the last nine months, not since her family had moved to Konoha. It was long enough to where she thought Akatsuki would never be an issue again.

But here they came, rearing their ugly heads again, and Naruto needed to know the truth before he stepped himself into something he couldn't handle. Even if she figured it to be her problem, Naruto was a half-demon as well. An artificial one, but she didn't think that they would differentiate when they started hunting for half-breeds.

"Just go in there and be honest with him." At the end of the hallway, Kyuubi's mother with her short red hair watched her daughter work herself into a mess as she worried about what to say, "Naruto is a good person. What do you think he'll do, hate you for something you don't have any control over?"

"I don't want him to pity me mom." Kyuubi said, quietly enough so that she couldn't be heard through the door, "And I don't want him to be scared of me; thinking I brought it to him. What if he thinks that it's all my fault?"

A hand rested itself on her shoulder, giving her a start until she realized that it was just her father who had come from the other end of the hallway, "If you don't want him to be afraid or troubled then you shouldn't be afraid yourself. If you're worried, he'll worry just because it's upsetting you." He then gently nudged her towards the door, "Now go on and tell the stupid brat. Your mother and I don't have the right to tell him anything. You do." He then decided to add something as an afterthought, "And if he decides that he doesn't like you anymore because of it I'll just tear him apart."

Both Setsuna and Kyuubi deadpanned looks at Isshin before Kyuubi spoke up, moving her hand towards the doorknob, "Thanks dad… and stop threatening Naru-kun." She finished with a bit of a pointed look before slipping inside of her room and shutting the door behind her, softly locking it.

She took a deep breath and turned to face Naruto who was looking at her curiously, "Are you sure everything's alright Kyuu-chan?" Naruto asked as she walked towards the bed he was sitting on to plop down next to him, "All of this feels kind of… I don't know, heavy. What's happening?"

Building up the confidence to tell him what she knew without wavering was tough, but eventually Kyuubi balled her fists in her lap and just decided to go for it, "Okay, do you remember Sasuke telling you about those demon-hunters a few days ago?" Naruto furrowed his brow in thought before nodding, "Well they're called Akatsuki if you didn't know. "

"Alright." Naruto accepted with a nod, "Akatsuki; a bunch of crazy demon hunting cultists that are going to walk into an asskicking if they're dumb enough to come after me or you or your family. Good to know."

Kyuubi let out a humorless laugh and put a hand on one of Naruto's, "It's not that simple. You can't beat them." She said in a matter-of-factly tone that surprised Naruto, "I can't either. Neither can mom or dad. None of us can."

That didn't sound like Kyuubi at all. The same girl that wanted to prove that she was battle-capable by helping Sasuke take down a den of drug dealers. She'd always believed in herself and him before. It had never been a matter of you can't do it, it was always just an issue of making sure that he or she did it and did their best to make sure that they didn't wind up in the hospital afterwards.

"Why would you say I can't win?" Naruto asked, sounding a little put down, "I've been training my ass off for most of the entire year. I've never gotten so strong so fast in my entire life. I can see and feel the difference every day." He snapped his fingers and a small blue fireball appeared on his index fingertip, "All I have to do now is snap to form a fireball. At the start I had to hold my hand up and focus for it. And Ero-sennin's been teaching me-."

"It's not a matter of how strong you are. That's not the point." Kyuubi interrupted him before he could go into a tangent of why he could defend himself, "No matter how strong you are, no matter how many of them you wind up killing in the process, eventually they'll get you. They'll get you just like they've gotten everyone else in my family."

'I've never seen any other member of her family.' Naruto thought to himself, 'I've never even heard her talk about any of them.' "You knew about them before Sasuke said anything to us didn't you?" He asked her aloud, taking note of the slight jolt she got out of being questioned, "Kyuubi… what are these people all about? Tell me what they did."

She was going to anyway, but that didn't make it any easier to talk about.

"Bear with me here for a bit Naru-kun…" Kyuubi uttered reservedly from her place next to him, "It's not exactly something I'm eager to talk about, but it's not fair and it's not safe to keep it from you even if I'd rather forget about it altogether." It seemed like the world wasn't giving her that option to begin with.

But Naruto also had things he would rather not tell people unless necessary; the earlier brought up thing with Itachi and the Mangekyou Sharingan as a blatantly clear example of this amongst other subjects. He could only imagine how hard it would be to have to talk about that with someone that didn't know, it made his mouth dry just thinking about having to spill his guts. And this involved her family.

That was an entirely different can of worms that he admittedly couldn't imagine the first thing about.

"Hey." Naruto said, getting Kyuubi's attention from her harsh thinking. Cupping her chin in his hand he directed her gaze firmly into his eyes for a grin that he hoped would reassure her, "Just take your time. I'm not going anywhere, alright? I promise." In return she gave him a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She knew what he said was honest, but it still didn't make her feel that much better. Her smile was purely for appearances.

It had already been one long, long night… and it didn't seem like it was close to being over yet.

* * *

**Chapter complete. **

**You know, I'm starting to think I was a wee bit too ambitious going with trying a story like this. I don't think it's clicking with the reading-folk out and about. I can't put my finger on it exactly. **

**Perhaps it's Naruto's character, as he was meant to be what most modern kids that age would be if they had no one around to really regulate their actions and attitudes to teach them respect; a smart mouth, a sarcastic outlook, and something of a know-it-all that really knows nothing. You know, something for the character to grow out of, but I think I'm failing at that. **

**Then again, this story was supposed to go LONG, and at this point it's been just under a year in time as far as the story's background goes.  
**

**I don't know. As the guy that wrote it I can't objectively say such. This is where feedback is important as it shows what I can do better.**

**Or maybe I'm just thinking too hard about it.**

**Oh well.  
**

**So it's 6 a.m. in my part of the world… I'm just going to post this and get along with my day now. Hope you enjoy. Got more coming in the future if you just so happen to do so. Now I'm going to go shower. Later all.**

**Kenchi out.**


	44. Friends in High Places

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did I'd have groupies… probably. Maybe. Okay, probably not, but the chance of it happening isn't really that outlandish. Have you seen some of the people that get fanned out on to that extent?

Wait, does Kishimoto have groupies? Do manga authors even have that kind of appeal? I need to mail him a letter and ask him, because I think I've discovered a new burning question.

**Chapter 44: Friends in High Places**

* * *

In the shower, Naruto stood with his forehead pressing against the wall as water cascaded down from the showerhead above him. His eyes weren't focused on anything in particular as he was lost in thought. It had been two days after the night where he chased Sai to the small abandoned mall where he and Sasuke had been tormented in their youth.

While that was enough to give him some apprehension, it was the information given to him later that night by his beloved that weighed heavy on his mind. An entire army of neverending extremist cultists that considered half-demons as devils walking the planet. And Kyuubi was deadly afraid of them.

"_Two years ago I lived on the western border of the country, about an hour or so away from the capital. A lot of my family lived in the same town as me. It wasn't really a big secret that we were different from most everyone else that lived there, but in a society like ours where anyone standing on the street corner could be a mercenary not many people cared too much. We were just like everybody else you know?"_

They had regular jobs, were regular people. Their children went to school with everyone else. The only thing that made them different was what they had running through their systems that very few would be able to sense or otherwise discover without being told first.

No one cared anything about that. They were part of the community.

"_Then it started to happen. It was just a few crazies at first in town. A lot of people thought it was just some new religious cult catching on with a few folks at first until everyone realized that they weren't from around there at all. Then people started listening to what they were actually saying. Warning that everyone just stayed out of the way as they smote the monsters everything would be fine, and if they joined in they would be rewarded by their 'God'. But assisting the monsters would result in them sharing our fate."_

They hadn't done anything wrong to warrant such actions taken against them. None of them used their skills for money. They trained their powers to protect themselves in an at times dangerous world and because it was traditional to do so. It was basically ethnic cleansing, plain and simple.

"_They came in droves Naruto. They never stopped. It didn't matter how many of them my stronger relatives managed to take down. Even though our youki is different, it's still like chakra for the regular humans. They couldn't keep it up forever and they eventually started getting slaughtered."_

She told him that she could still remember the eyes of the man that did the heavy-duty work as she watched the best fighters that her family had to offer falling like wheat to the thresher. And she, almost entirely untrained could only cower and watch until it was clear that hope was lost.

"_My parents managed to escape with me when the survivors of it all started running. Mom and dad somehow slipped away and changed our names so I'm not sure if any of my surviving relatives did the same… they might be dead by now. And even if they did I don't think we should ever try to find each other… the same thing would probably just happen all over again."_

She had good reason to be afraid of those people. If someone had waged a damn genocide on the entirety of his own family with the exception of him and his parents, God rest their souls or goddamn their souls depending on who they were, he would wager that he would be rather frightened of them as well. That still didn't make it any better to think about though.

By the end of her explanation of what the Akatsuki organization was all about she was shaking, either from sheer terror or from holding back tears. And he couldn't make her stop. He held her, he told her that it was okay, he did this for hours and it didn't help.

Naruto had been made to feel weak several times over the past year. Training with Jiraiya made him feel weak. Getting beaten down to within an inch of his life by Kakuzu in Takigakure made him feel weak. Being corralled to the abandoned strip mall by Sai.

But all of that paled in comparison to being completely fine, to being a-ok, but having to watch Kyuubi cry with nothing for him to do to stop it. He couldn't fight a traumatic memory. If anyone knew that it was definitely him. It was absolutely heartbreaking, and he stayed with her until she finally fell asleep.

All of those things she told him, about how she had been too weak to fight and could only watch the worst happen in front of her.

About how they had to move from place to place repeatedly, changing almost everything about their lives until they felt that the heat was finally off of them. Prompting them to believe that Konoha was the safest place for them to move to in order to try and make a go of it.

How her actual name wasn't Kyuubi Yoko and how it was safer if no one knew exactly what it had been before.

And he told her that none of that mattered to him. It didn't matter what her given name was, he didn't need to know it if she didn't want to tell him. It was all irrelevant. She was his Kyuu-chan, and that was all he needed to know. And she just cried more, burying her face into his chest and staining him with tears.

She had been afraid to tell him anything about her past spent elsewhere

He felt a spark for her when they first met, and he didn't know what it was, whether it was the artificial half-demon side of him being drawn to the fiery vixen or what. But he couldn't leave that girl alone even if he wanted to. Kami help him, none of that knowledge made him want to back out. It made him want to be closer to her. The pain in her eyes last night, he wanted to take that away.

That Sai guy, and all of his dirty little secrets that his boss was privy to, none of that took precedence over soothing her. Tracking that fucker down and wringing his pale, listless neck until he squeezed the information and ink out of him could wait.

Why did he need Kyuubi so much? He wasn't some un-streetwise idiot that believed that first loves were always the truest, he knew better. His uncle was Obito Uchiha and his sensei was the author of the filthiest smut legally sellable on display. But he was addicted to her and even the threat of death, legitimate death, not the death that Kyuubi's father Isshin always threatened him with, persuaded him to cut the ties.

Yes, even if had he been a coward instead of being the man that he was he probably still wouldn't have gone anywhere, and if the bitter end did indeed one day come, cowardly-Naruto would have gone down with her without complaints, just like the real-deal Naruto would.

Still though, the reality of the situation was a bitch to contemplate amongst the clusterfuck that his life had become, and at the rate of how long Naruto had been thinking and thumping his head softly against the tiled wall of his shower he would definitely be running up the apartment's utilities.

Still, he wouldn't trade any of it for the bad old days when he was one bored afternoon and one bad idea away from getting locked up. Not a bit.

"Man… this sucks." Naruto muttered to himself, ignoring the echo of his bathroom in regards to his own voice. A knock of some frantic reason at the door disturbed him from his thoughts though, "What?"

"You've been in the bathroom for forty-five goddamn minutes! Get out! I have to piss you idiot!" Damn it, he forgot that Sasuke was staying over for the major part of the summer because of the chill atmosphere that his place had in comparison to his own home.

"My sweet-ass penthouse apartment, my bathroom, my shower, so shut up Sasuke-teme!" Naruto shouted back over the pulsing drops of water, "Pee over the edge of the roof you jerk! This is my thinking time!"

"What's there to think about? 'I'm a delinquent, sociopathic, borderline criminal with inexplicable demon blood origins and a half-demon girlfriend that survived a damn genocide that isn't over yet.'" Sasuke said, doing Naruto's thinking for him, "This is really simple. Just be ready to do something about it when the time comes, or have a plan to run. Other than that there's nothing you can do. Now get the fuck out of the bathroom or I'm coming in. I pay part of your rent for this place so I've got some say around here."

With a roll of his eyes, Naruto turned off his shower and grabbed a towel from right outside of it to begin drying himself off, "Yeah, your say ends when you leave your room. Everywhere else is mine. You're lucky I even let you use my electricity and drink my water."

"Fuck you dobe."

"Fuck you too deputy."

Silence fell between the two until Naruto finished drying off and dressing himself to a serviceable enough state to leave the bathroom where he found Sasuke leaning against the wall and waiting to use the toilet. An upward nod was shared between the two as they passed each other until Sasuke was about to close the door, "Itachi wants to hire you for a mission. He says you're the only mercenary he can possibly trust for it. I didn't pry too much further so you should call him about it."

"I will." Naruto responded as he continued to walk to his room. Itachi wanted him for something that he couldn't or wouldn't tell Sasuke about. Nothing good could come of that, but that was what summer was for; solving the problems of yourself and your friends while you had the free time to do so. Whoever said that summer was for relaxing and for fun clearly had no responsibilities in their lives.

"Good. Now…" With that Sasuke shut the door and a few moments later the sound of trickling into the toilet was audible, "If you don't mind, I've got to piss like a derby racehorse being chased by a glue truck."

That didn't make any sense, but Naruto just chalked that up to Sasuke being so full of urine that he could taste it.

XxX

(Later That Day – Konoha Trade Tower – Rooftop)

Per Itachi's instructions, Naruto met him on the roof of Konohagakure's largest building at noon. It was a tourist spot that people went to in order to check out the installed telescopes that accepted change to work and observe the town for fun.

Admittedly it was a spot that Naruto liked frequenting when he was a kid, but now he was there for an important reason as he saw his best friend's brother standing off by himself in a corner staring over the edge of the building. Even though he was a famous figure in town, Itachi just gave off that kind of aura that he was hard to talk to and unapproachable. It was really unfair because Itachi was a totally nice guy. He liked kids and pets and all kinds of things even though he could probably kill you by staring at you hard enough.

Still, they probably weren't going to be talking about casual things like the weather so maybe that was for the best.

Naruto moved up beside him and stared down along with him before he fished a coin out of his pocket and prepared to let it drop. His hand let it go, but like lightning Itachi caught it and lightly rapped Naruto on the head, "No. You know to act better."

"Itachi, that's an urban myth. I can't really kill someone with a coin from up here." Naruto deadpanned as he rubbed the spot on his head. He just did that to get the stoic bastard to acknowledge his presence instead of just spacing out, "What the hell do you want to hire me for that you couldn't get someone ten times better? I can't give you a discount because I can't freelance anymore. It has to run through the company."

"I'm losing my eyesight Naruto."

That sudden admission hit Naruto rather abruptly.

Someone like Itachi had always seemed rather untouchable. So hearing something like that gave Naruto's heart a bit of a start. Itachi ranked right up there in the top three of people he'd met that he'd never want to fight for real.

But it was also just as confusing as it was shocking. Naruto tried to wave a hand in front of Itachi's face to test how blind he was, but the stoic Uchiha merely grabbed his hand by the wrist in a silent warning to cut it out, "…Okay. What does that have to do with hiring me? Or do you just want me to introduce you to Tsunade-baa? I don't know what she can do about your eyesight though."

"Medicine won't help me anyway." Itachi stated, staring out over what he could see of the city he had dedicated himself to protecting, "No experts in optometry can find any medical problem with my vision, and I've hinted at none in appointments. It's because of the Mangekyou Sharingan. It only makes sense that such a cursed power would come with such a price."

"You're not answering me." Naruto said, "What do you want from me that you'd hire me for it?"

"I have never told anyone that I've obtained the Mangekyou Sharingan. You know why." Of course Naruto did. A stiff nod came from the blond as he understood why, "There is supposedly a tablet within the lands of Ame that contains the secrets of the great doujutsu of the world. I cannot go alone, so I am enlisting your help."

Of course he would have it. Itachi was the man, and Naruto owed him a debt that he had never been asked to repay with anything serious. Even this was nothing in comparison to how Itachi saved his life.

But having the Mangekyou Sharingan brought up put something else forward as far as Naruto was concerned, "Itachi. I told you about how those people that kidnapped me and Sasuke when we were kids reached out to me. I didn't tell Sasuke about it. But their master is supposed to be interested in me or something."

Itachi didn't say anything at first, just planting a hand on the top of Naruto's head to mess up his hair further, "All the more reason for you to find an excuse to accompany me outside of the country right now. Simply begin the process for a formal mission request and I'll handle our travel arrangements myself. The next week would be a good timeline to have everything ready."

Paperwork. Ick.

The client was always right of course, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." Naruto said, shoving his hands in his pockets as he prepared to leave the observation point, "A week should be more than enough time for me to get my own house in order too I guess."

"I trust you will be prepared then." Itachi concluded, getting a grunt of affirmation out of Naruto as the younger man left the area. He didn't plan on taking up loads of Naruto's time. His summer was a lot of the way over, and Itachi still had his own affairs inside of town to attend to as well.

XxX

(Meanwhile – Westside Konoha Mall)

Sitting down on a bench situated by a fountain in the largest mall inside of Konohagakure no Sato's city limits, Kyuubi looked off lucidly into the distance, cheek in her palm as her eyes focused on nothing in particular. The girl was merely one with her own thoughts at the moment.

After a rather stressful and late evening in which she fell asleep in Naruto's arms after embarrassingly being driven to tears by recanting her tale of her family's demise she woke up to a phone call and a partly vacant bed as Naruto had left and let her sleep in the early morning without disturbing her.

That boy was something else, and she didn't know what it was. It wasn't that she thought she could change him for the better, that he was a fixer-upper, because any other 'bad boy' in the world would have just annoyed her into rending them to hash with her claws. It wasn't that she felt responsible for sticking close to a half-demon like herself, artificially created as he was, when she knew of the detestable methods Akatsuki would go to in order to destroy the half-demon ilk.

Either way all she could do was sigh and remember how good it felt to sleep with Naruto last night. So sweet. He undressed her and placed her under the covers with him, and there wasn't any sex, but for once after thinking about Akatsuki for as long as she had they didn't plague her dreams. He was her novacaine. He took all of the painful feelings away, if only for a while.

"-yuubi? Kyuubi? I think she's out of it Forehead. Kyuubi are you in there? Hello?"

Jolted back to reality by a light set of knocks to her cranium, Kyuubi's red eyes flickered around and the tan-skinned redhead set her eyes on the frowning blonde Ino Yamanaka who was seated next to her and Sakura. They had been the ones to call her that morning to see if she wanted to hang out and do something.

She needed the distraction, and she didn't want to smother Naruto after getting all helpless and weepy on him the night before.

"Sorry." Kyuubi apologized with a bit of a toothy grin, "I've had a lot on my mind lately. What were you saying?"

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, Ino crossed her arms and sat back in the bench, "I was talking about how weird things are getting around here. I mean, this can't be a part of growing up can it? First there's Sakura here actually doing cadet training for the police force. I never thought I'd see bookworm here try something that physical."

A blush sprang to Sakura's face at Ino talking about her in such a way. Sure she had initially started doing it to get some notice from Sasuke, but she found that she actually enjoyed it. When Itachi had taken them inside to begin giving the procedural lectures she picked a lot of it up fairly quickly, "Just because I like using my brain more than my body doesn't mean I don't know how to do both Ino-pig."

"Right." Ino commented with a chuckle, shaking her head and her blonde ponytail, "You do like trying to hit people that upset you so I guess that accounted for something for all of these years."

"That was the old me." Sakura replied, turning her nose up confidently, "The new me after I pass the program at the end of the summer is going to be cool, in command, and the next time my friends get into fights to the death in front of me I can do more than just watch through a pair of high-tech goggles and throw logs down a cliff into the water to help."

Despite her current attitude, remembering what she was told of how Sakura managed to assist in Naruto gaining the upper hand on Fuu during their battle in Takigakure brought a smile to her face at the sheer humor of it, "I'm certain that it made you look like the lamest support character in video game history. Just think about it; Sakura and her magical girl powers. The ability of infinite log generation."

Both Ino and Kyuubi laughed a bit at that, but Sakura just flared out her cheeks in offense. It wasn't like she brought the damn things, they were in the trunk. Which begged the question that she never thought to ask; just why had there been nearly a dozen neatly stacked hunks of firewood in the back of a company SUV to begin with?

"You're laughing at that, but you do realize that when he woke up from his coma and went back to school Naruto thanked me for what I did don't you? It was really heartfelt if not a bit weird." Sakura sweatdropped slightly in remembering the conversation, "He called me an honorary 'Guardian Angel of the Log' and said something about how from then on if I was ever in a pinch the log would be there for me to return the favor one time only for saving its humble follower."

Even then she didn't know quite what he meant, and honestly hearing him talk about the 'merciful nature' of the log in the middle of the hallways got her to back up a few steps while he finished what he was saying, but it was still a nice thought.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Ino finally said, getting up from the bench while grabbing both of the other girls by their wrists, "We're wasting daylight here just sitting and talking. This was a day meant to be spent on an all-important mission! I need a new wardrobe to compliment how much more sophisticated I've become over the summer for when school starts back up!"

"It's barely July…" Sakura said, though this did nothing to stop Ino, and it wasn't like she herself was adverse to getting a little something for herself either.

Kyuubi realized at that point that she really had a good set of friends inside of the city. The other day, Kiba all but said that had she told him and most of them about Akatsuki they would have endeavored to defend both her and Naruto if it ever came to that, and right then just spending time around Ino and Sakura was beginning to ease her mind a bit.

Back in her original place of origin, while no one was ever outright cruel or went out of their way to avoid or alienate her due to what she was as a child, it was clear that there were perceived differences when it came to her and other kids her age. As far as she knew thus far no one seemed to care about what she was, and even without asking she never had to ask anyone to keep it amongst their group and not spread it out. A very thankful thing when one thought of just how much Ino loved to talk about anything she thought was interesting.

'I don't want to run again.' She thought to herself as Ino pulled her into the first clothing store in what was certain to be a long tour of every high-end shop in the mall, 'But if I stay just how many of them are going to get hurt if we're found?'

XxX

(Downtown Konohagakure – City Hall)

It was a favor for Jiraiya, to go into town and speak to the man that they needed permission from. To eradicate a rat, or at least get the blessing to make a move on him at all.

In a change from the clothes that she wore around HQ, Tsunade walked through the halls of Konoha's oldest municipal building wearing a light green suit of a businesswoman, heels clacking on the hard floors as she was led to her destination by the son of her sensei, Asuma Sarutobi, "You can stop sneaking glances back here like I don't notice." Tsunade said to him dryly, having realized since the start that he was rather surprised to see her, "If you have something to say then you should just say it."

Of course a woman like her would know if someone was looking at her. Aside from probably having gotten used to it due to how beautiful she was, Tsunade had probably long since gotten used to knowing when she had spying eyes on her to keep from getting herself killed.

Having been called out in a way, Asuma tried to smooth down his spiky black hair as the black-suited man desperately wished he could smoke indoors, "Sorry. It's just no one's seen you in this city in over fifteen years."

"Hmm…" Tsunade said in sarcastic interest, "Well I've been back for a few months now. But it's okay, I guess some people are just out of the loop."

Ah, he remembered now. Tsunade was kind of a cold bitch when she really wanted to be, even back before her old boyfriend and little brother died, and in the aftermath that had just gone up to frigid levels.

Either way it wasn't going to be his problem in a few moments as he knocked on a pair of strong oak doors at the end of the hall and received a strong, "Come in."

Opening the door, Asuma gestured for Tsunade to enter which she did swiftly until she stopped in front of the desk of the city's head official. With a smirk on her red lips she looked the man behind the furniture with a reminiscent glint in her eye, "Hiruzen Sarutobi. Long time no see sensei. Retirement is overrated apparently."

A smile came to the weathered face of the man sitting before her. His hair was grey as was his goatee, and his suit as well, but in a darker tone than his hair, "I was wondering when you were going to stop by to pay this old man a visit." He really did seem pleased to see her, "I wish you hadn't left to begin with as we really could have used you in the aftermath of _that night_, but you were an adult and were free to make your own decisions."

"I think about it every day, don't worry about it." The night she had seen more than enough of what being involved in their lifestyle could do to someone was almost sixteen years ago, "The reminder keeps walking around in front of me inside of the HQ. I just wish I knew of a way to save his mother. She was perfectly healthy. Dying during delivery made absolutely no sense."

A grave look passed over the elderly Sarutobi's face at that aide memoire of perhaps the worst day in this city that he had ever had to watch unfold before him, "In the aftermath there were things brought to light as to why. Her delivery had somehow been forced, and that's not to say what had been done to Naruto himself within the womb. Something had been done to him to shift his physiology to that of a half-demon."

Whoever killed Minato that night had been behind the rioting that nearly tore Konoha asunder from within, and in the chaos Minato's wife and her unborn child were targets as well. But even to this day no one knew anything.

Oh there were suspicions of course, and the finger was aimed at a certain elder statesman that seemed to have a knack for training operatives for black ops of the grimiest circumstances.

Speaking of which, Tsunade deemed it time to get to the crux of the meeting, "Sarutobi-sensei, we have reason to believe that Danzo set his sights on Naruto. For whatever reason, Naruto was almost goaded into a meeting on the terms of some mystery man."

Hiruzen raised an interested eyebrow as he made it clear that he was listening, "And you know that the man you speak of is Danzo because?"

"Listen, we know that he's smart enough to let his drones know to never use his name." Tsunade grumbled out, "But this isn't the first time this has happened either. Apparently a small scuffle in the past ended with Naruto's first apartment getting burned out, and with this and the strange happenings during his last mission in Nami no Kuni that ended in Gato's death we can't keep acting like nothing's happening, no matter how well the man seems to be covering his tracks."

"Opening a second private military company based out of Konoha is not illegal Tsunade. If one has the vast resources to fund such an endeavor it is the same as any other enterprise… except with more death." Hiruzen said, though he did have his misgivings over the whole thing if that indeed did seem to be what was going on, "Any conflict between your two sides hasn't resulted in any killing for either of you. It seems that great care is being taken to prevent this from escalating."

Tsunade rolled her eyes and set her hands forcefully on the table, "Come on sensei, you know he's just biding his time. I couldn't tell you what he's waiting for, but it's a trump card of some sort."

"I cannot let my city turn into a warzone." Lacing his fingers in front of his mouth as he spoke, the sharp eyes of the top man in Konohagakure told a greater story than any would have figured they would have gotten from the kindly old man, "I was able to prevent a crackdown after the riots because it could never be confirmed that the mercenary presence in this city directly correlated to the fighting, but should a turf war between Kaisha Hein and the theoretical forces that seem to be competing with you."

This was upsetting the balance. Danzo had to know that. Until now it had been Kaisha Hein and the police department as the two powers of the city, but now with what was going on now it seemed that a third party was trying to stake its claim for whatever reason.

The last time tensions began to subtly rise like this it all exploded in the most violent event save for the great international wars of the old days.

"I'll tell Jiraiya what you said sensei." Tsunade said with a deep frown on her face as she prepared to leave, "He'll more than likely listen because it was you, but you should know better than anyone that the only power that Danzo likes is power that belongs to him. Kaisha Hein's standing as the biggest PMC in the country that he has no stake in, your position as the mayor that you earned because of your fame as our old leader, the authority that the police have as the standing state military force… I'm sure all of that has been irking him for decades."

Hiruzen nodded in grave understanding, "Don't you worry your head about that. I am not blind as to what is going on in my city. I simply want to keep everyone within it safe. And I will. I'll never let anything similar to what happened on the night Minato and Kushina died happen again."

XxX

(With Naruto – Kaisha Hein HQ – 1st Floor Basement – Rec Room)

While Naruto sat at a communal desk with Rin helping him write out a formal mission request since it was his first time requisitioning one himself. For Kami's sake he felt like there was a damn tutor looking over his schoolwork or something. Meanwhile Obito and Kakashi sat on a large half circular couch facing a gigantic plasma screen TV while playing a video game against one another to pass the time.

Kakashi had his usual calm look on his face as his fingers danced across the controller, but from Obito's side he was gnashing his teeth with shaky hands and a more sporadic approach to how he was playing until he finally had enough of his bad luck, "Man that's it! The game is cheating!"

"Obito the game's not cheating." Kakashi said casually while wisely keeping out the taunt he wished to throw his way about how he sucked at the game that was his idea to play. He raised an eyebrow now when Obito paused the game just when Kakashi seemed to be taking complete command of the ongoing match.

"Restart the game now!" The one-eyed Uchiha specialist almost howled, panting angrily while pointing at the console that sat on the coffee table in front of them.

Kakashi rolled his visible eye and decided to dig his heels in on this one, "Why do you always have to do this when you lose? Hothead Naruto was a better sport at games when he was just a little thing." Naruto also started beating Obito's ass thoroughly as well when his motor skills got up to snuff.

"Let him have it." Rin commented as she didn't pay a lick of attention to her husband and her long-time teammate, wearing a pair of reading glasses while still looking over Naruto's duplicated forms that he remained diligently filling out, "It's not wise to upset the 'Black Sheep Uchiha'." She jibed, using Obito's epithet instead of his given name.

Indeed it was not wise to upset him, because Obito stood up tersely prior to lifting the Playstation and hurling it all the way across the room, smashing off of the wall right by the doorway, nearly hitting the head of another company mercenary that had been walking in at the time, scaring the poor sickly-looking brown-haired, bandanna-wearing swordsman into a coughing fit, "RESTART THE GAME NOW!"

After getting over his initial shock as Obito stormed over and stomped out the Playstation on the floor, the swordsman, Hayate Gekko just shook his head, coughed into his hand one time and wandered off to mind his own business. It was just another day in the office.

"Damn you Sony!" Obito shouted, continuing to pulverize the device underneath the heel of his boot, "Damn you to the depths of hell for dooming the ahead-of-its-time Sega Dreamcast with its groundbreaking games and standard-setting features before its time! I should be playing Sega Soultoucher or whatever the fuck they were going to call the next one right now! It's your fault!"

At that point, Rin couldn't ignore it anymore and turned to Obito with a disapproving look on her face, "You are a grown man, stomping a very expensive electronic device into a pile of plastic and computer chips." She hated video games personally, but still, that was good money that just went down the drain.

"To be fair…" Naruto commented while still writing out his request forms. Paperwork was for chumps, "…Obito-nii did spend a lot of cash on games for the Dreamcast back in the day. And Sonic Adventures 2 is _still_ one of the baddest games I've ever played. I could play that today and not miss a beat."

Once again Rin commented, not cutting her friend any slack, "He used to complain whenever he got his ass beat at Marvel vs. Capcom 2 too. Remember back when we were roommates? We had to hot glue the Dreamcast to the coffee table so he wouldn't throw it when he started losing. Then one day he just threw the whole table out the window."

"Because it pissed me off! Naruto used to button-mash so hard! Snot-nosed, thumb-sucking little shit, lucking into hyper combos!"

"I was five years old you cocksucker! You just stuck a controller in my hand and didn't even tell me how to do anything!"

"I'm more of a Wii man myself." Kakashi commented as he pulled out a new Playstation 3 from the nearby closet and set it down in place of the last one before shooting a glare at Obito, that bastard was lucky that he had that hard drive backed up after the first time he did that.

"You would be wouldn't you?" Obito quipped in an almost disgusted manner as he plopped back down onto the couch, his hissy fit now over. Craning his neck back over the couch he got an upside-down view of Naruto working, "Runt, what are you filing a mission request for anyway?"

Oh, now he cared. With a disgruntled sigh, Naruto flipped through the pages he had written and stacked them up neatly under Rin's supervision as she started checking them over for mistakes. He wrote those in pen so he'd be damned if he'd be redoing them, "Itachi asked me for a favor to accompany him to some place as backup."

Obito raised an eyebrow and scratched underneath his eyepatch in confusion, "Why the hell would he want _you_ for backup? You're not even that strong." He added belatedly when he saw Naruto lift up a finger and form a blue fireball at the tip of it threateningly, "No offense… I mean as far as punk-ass high school kids go you're top of the heap without question, but I can't see how having you around would make anything easier for Itachi."

Seriously, he didn't sound like it, but he wasn't trying to be insulting. Obito was well aware that his nephews Itachi and Sasuke were close to Naruto and had been since Naruto was younger, but he wasn't going to ignore the fact that when comparing them Itachi could kill a Naruto going full-blast with one hand tied behind his back… because he could still use that hand to make hand-seals.

"He could use him as a human shield or a bludgeoning tool just in case." Rin offered as a possibility as she perused Naruto's paperwork, reaching out to idly rap Naruto on the top of the head for a few audible knocks for emphasis, "Tsunade-sama told me he makes a great club for hitting Jiraiya-sama."

It was probably the hair. Seriously, it stayed like that no matter what happened unless he was completely drenched. The spiked tips had to be like studs on a morning star.

Both Kakashi and Obito picked their wireless controllers back up and synched them with the new Playstation as their attention turned back to the TV. A scoff came from Obito at Rin's rather obvious statement, "How else could he survive us all dropping him when he was a baby? He hit the ground more times than a goddamn basketball." Obito leaned out of the way of a blue fireball thrown at his head without even turning to look, "You'd better throw one of those at everybody else in this place that ever held you because we all did it at least once."

Cue guilty looks all around, even from Rin as she took her glasses off and turned her bright brown eyes away from Naruto to keep from making eye contact.

People liked to question just how someone like Naruto could seem so unbalanced at times when he was so young. The question could be answered by taking a look at his three primary role models while growing up.

One wasn't bad (Rin), but between Kakashi and Obito both of them had more personal problems than you could shake a stick at, and both of them had been given ample amounts of time alone with a young Naruto in his formative years to offload a large amount of their instabilities onto him, thus laying the foundations for the borderline sociopath that stood today.

"My unofficial guardians ladies and gentlemen." Naruto deadpanned before throwing the top of his pen at Obito. Due to the non-lethal nature of this projectile, this actually hit him on the head, "You guys really suck sometimes. Is this good enough to turn in or what?"

"It's fine." Rin assured him, actually proud at how well he filled out his first mission request form. Of course having seen them all do it repeatedly for over thirteen years probably gave him a bit of background at it, "It's like you already wrote it out in your head and just blazed it out on paper."

"Well… I kind of did write it already."

"Then why did you have to redo two of them right here in front of me?"

_(Flashback – Thirty Minutes Earlier)_

"_I mean really, there isn't a single problem on the planet that can't be solved with weapons." A thickly gloved and goggle-sporting Tenten said, busying herself with careless idle conversation while she was in the middle of the very dangerous process of mixing explosives, "You've just got to use them correctly."_

_Where was a place where she could do this indoors and not get chewed out by every single senior operative in the company? In a gated off section of garage that Tenten had unofficially claimed as her office of course. Nobody cared about it since there was no way anyone could park back there, no one but her stored anything there since there was an actual armory in one of the basements, and all Tenten had to do was buy a padlock to keep the gate closed when she wasn't there. _

_Boom. Office procured, at least until someone kicked her out. But no one had done it since before she had fixed up Naruto's bike so maybe it was fine?_

"_I hear you babe." Naruto said noncommittally, sitting on one of the metal table that Tenten used when working on things so that he could have a seat while he worked on processing Itachi's mission request, "…Rate of pay?" He said to himself as he looked down at the empty space intended. Was Itachi supposed to be filling this damn thing out?_

_Oh well. He wasn't there, Naruto was. And he had asked Naruto to fill it out, not bring it to him to fill out and return, so clearly the responsibility was his._

_Thus Naruto had no problems gleefully scribbling in the _modest_ pay rate of 10000 ryo per hour for the duration of the mission. Itachi was good for it. Contrary to popular belief for a grown man that lived with his parents, a source of ridicule from Naruto for years, Itachi was loaded._

"_Think about it. World hunger? Throw a fragmentation grenade at a deer or something and see if it doesn't get you fed. Home security? Nothing like a row of landmines hidden in your yard to keep people from wanting to get close. And don't even get me started on-. Whoops."_

_Whoops? Tenten saying whoops about anything never spelled out anything good for anyone standing within earshot of her saying it, but Naruto didn't care._

_He was more concerned right then at trying to figure out a written explanation of why Itachi wanted an escort that didn't have anything to do with the super-secret cursed Mangekyou Sharingan that they were both pretending never existed until he broke it out to nuke someone's soul or body._

"…_Naruto. That spontaneous fire thing you do; it wouldn't happen to allow you full control over all of fire in its many corporeal forms would it? Explosions included? Because that would be really convenient right now."_

_Confused at the question, Naruto just shrugged and answered her, "No. I can't even control my own fire after I let go of it. I just throw it and let it burn until something puts it out." Without warning after the explanation, Tenten proceeded to tackle the unaware Naruto down behind the table just before a volatile explosion rocked her little workspace._

(End Flashback)

"My mission request got blown up… along with a lot of Tenten's stuff that she left out in the open." Naruto said, touching at one of the hot pink spots on his arm where he had been lightly burned.

He loved Tenten. She was incredibly cool and he was glad that they had become friends, but damn it that girl was dangerous, and not on purpose either.

"So that's what that noise was a half-hour ago." Kakashi mused idly as he continued to mindlessly play his game against Obito, "I just thought that Tsunade-sama had gotten angry at something and hit it again." Of course if Tenten wasn't done cleaning up soon there was still a chance that such a thing could happen… but with how much she loved Tsunade she might just get off on such a thing, "Where are you supposed to be going anyway?"

"A country west of here." Naruto said, gathering up the papers to take down to be processed, "The one that Salamander Hanzo took over way before I was born." He then felt the eyes of everyone locked sharply onto him and sighed, "Yes I know how dangerous going anywhere in that country is. But we're not going anywhere near Amegakure, and Itachi is smart. We'll be fine."

On one hand, it was Naruto going into the country that was voted the most hazardous country in all of the Elemental Nations twenty years running even when Mizu no Kuni was in the midst of its civil war. Little brother thing aside, the last place for someone like Naruto to be was in a dangerous place like that.

On the other hand Itachi was good. Damn good. Probably one of the best period. Everybody knew it. People in other countries were well aware of it. Even as a cop he got universal respect even from mercenaries for just how incredible he was. And if he thought it was a decent enough idea to take Naruto along into the hornets' nest there had to be a method to his madness.

Besides, their little guy was growing up. His rookie year would be over in a few months in October, and he'd shown himself to adapt quite well to the full-time life of being a hired super-soldier. He'd already survived some seriously adverse odds and even a few scrapes with death. It was time to let the baby bird fly away from the nest for now.

In the end, Rin just shrugged and handed back the forms that she had been reading with a small smile, "Just remember to take a rain slicker. I've never been, but I hear that it rains a lot in that place."

XxX

(That Evening – Naruto's Apartment)

"You're leaving on another mission again?" Kyuubi pouted, leaning against Naruto's chest while they both sat on one of his large couches in the living room and watched TV, "You work like you're grown up Naru-kun. And you're going to the absolute last place I want you to go." Apparently those Akatsuki freaks originated from Amegakure, and he and Itachi were to be dancing awfully close to that area.

With an arm wrapped the girl's bare midriff that he rubbed reassuringly, Naruto spared a glance downward at her before looking back at the screen, "I owe Itachi more than enough to go and do this for him. And anyway, I want to see just what these people you're afraid of are like."

Knowing was half the battle wasn't it, even if the battle never came to pass. The idea of him doing something like that elicited a gasp from her as she clutched him tighter.

"I'll tell you what they're like." Kyuubi said quietly, grabbing a tight handful of Naruto's shirt. Luckily her nails weren't sharpened enough into claws or she'd have shredded it, "The least faithful are still bigots to the hanyou just to fit in, but they won't do anything when they're not in packs because most of them are regular people. The true believers, the zealots, they're the worst. They don't care if they're in a group or not. If they discover a half-demon they'll start planning how to kill them as quickly as possible."

Were they really that bad? Kyuubi hadn't ever shown herself to be this afraid of anything before. Wary of some things yes, but that was because she was sane unlike him and knew when she was biting off more than she could chew. Never fear like this though.

Well someone had to keep their head up, even if the optimism was based off of a lack of information more than anything else. But that could be fixed rather quickly. Not easily mind you, but quickly enough.

"Are you speaking from back before you could really fight?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, "Kyuu-chan, everything like that seems scary when you can't do anything to protect yourself." She had told him herself that she wasn't able to do anything other than watch, and she hadn't started into learning her advanced powers until a matter of months before she moved into Konoha.

"No I-. I mean ye-… I don't know." Why did people like that have to be so obsessed with such terrible things? The majority of her family was dead, and anyone left had been scattered to the four winds. Wasn't that enough? There wasn't any reason to try and exterminate all of the half-demons in the world. What possible purpose would there be for that?

What Naruto was about to propose was going to scare the hell out of her, and he knew it, but he needed to know and she needed to know just who the enemy was. Nobody was going into the lands that Amegakure sat within. That entire country was a dead zone as far as communications with the outside world went, and that was where Naruto and Itachi were going. No one else was going to tell them what they needed to know, so they had to get it themselves.

"Well…" Naruto started to say carefully, trying to think of the best way to sugarcoat what he wanted to say, "How about you come with me then?" He had to lean his head out of the way of hers when she snapped up to look at him so suddenly, "Please don't freak out."

And to her credit she was trying not to freak out, but the way her chest heaved in and out it was a battle she was steadily losing, "You want _me_ to go with _you_ on your mission to that… that hell?" She didn't even want him to go, so what would possess her to wish to go herself, "Naruto don't play with me like that."

He wasn't playing with her, he was being completely serious, "I'm not. I want you to go with me and Itachi. I don't take you with me on most of my missions because most of my seniors would bitch at me and send you home if you came, but this isn't that kind of situation. It's just me and Itachi. I can take you."

"I don't want you to take me." For once Kyuubi actually wanted to stay home, "I'm scared! I don't want to get anywhere near them! I don't want to look at them! If I see a black cloak with red clouds I'll cry, I'll just lose it! They'll find out we're there."

"Not if we don't use any youki. People can't sense it unless we're using it."

"All of my special attacks use youki. I'm not trained the way you are."

"You're not going to fight. This mission isn't to fight or steal. Nothing like that. We won't be doing anything to even attract attention."

"Why do you even want me to go so badly?"

"Because I don't want you to be scared anymore!" Naruto finally blurted out, running out of ways to dance around his original intention, "There's nothing I can do to calm you down because I've never had anything like this that scared me before. I don't know what to do, but I do know that anything I've ever been afraid of stopped being so scary after I came face-to-face with it."

Red eyes stared back into blue for the longest time with neither Naruto nor Kyuubi's stern gaze relenting in the face of the other. It seemed like a conflict was poised to take place between the two of them until Kyuubi aggressively tackled Naruto off of the couch onto the floor and the two began making out in an almost competitive manner.

Sure the back of Naruto's head had smashed off of the edge of his coffee table in the process, but he had to prioritize, and the angry kissing of his girlfriend was more important than the knot on the back of his head… that she further exasperated by grabbing a handful of his hair and banging his head on the floor once, 'Ow.'

Still holding his hair in one of her hands, Kyuubi glared down at Naruto, straddling his waist as her pupils became slitted due to her unconsciously tapping into her dark energies, "And what makes you think you know what's best for me you… you…" She couldn't even finish her intentionally blistering statement before she leaned back down and roughly kissed him again.

She was scared, she was angry, her emotions felt stressed, but why in the world did hearing Naruto speak to her with such conviction in an attempt to persuade her arouse her so much. Arousal should have been the last thing that came to mind when the Akatsuki had been a thought previously.

So overwhelmed by her own emotions, she hardly registered Naruto taking exception to being dominated in his own home, flipping them over with a bit of a snarl and kicking that damn table that he bumped into _again_ halfway across the large living room.

Both glared up and down at each other and Naruto butted his head against hers, pinning her wrists to the floor as well and noticing that both he and she had been letting out a fair amount of inhuman energies. He wanted to say that he didn't know what was best for her, but facing something down on his own always helped him.

There was supposed to be some long, drawn-out explanation that he'd piece together on the spot but would somehow make sense in the end.

But that didn't happen.

"I hate you so much right now." Kyuubi glared at him, trying to writhe away from his grip while keeping from looking at him. She eventually stopped and one of her eyes curiously peered up at him, "Clothes off?"

"Uh huh."

"On the floor Naruto?"

"The couch is right there."

"Our friends sit there."

"…"

"Yeah, you're right. Who cares about that?"

"I CARE ABOUT THAT!" Sasuke's very loud and angry voice echoed out from down the hall. Oh man, Naruto had forgotten he was going to be staying there for the majority of the summer, "At least take it to your room and turn on some music!" Whatever happened to common courtesy? "I am not staying in here for two hours because of you two! Can you two at least argue like a normal couple?"

"No!" Kyuubi replied, turning her head in the direction of Sasuke's voice, "Whoever's on top is right! That's how it works!" She then realized what she said when Naruto began kissing on her neck fervently, "Wait, no, that doesn't mean-! Naruto sto-…oh."

XxX

(One Week Later – Early Morning – Airstrip on the Outskirts of Konohagakure)

Dressed in a black overcoat open at the chest to show a white dress shirt underneath and a fedora on his head, Itachi stepped into a small hangar next to the runway where he saw Naruto checking over the plane that they were going to be using to fly into the country of their choice.

Illegally of course, but if no one found out it didn't matter right?

"What are you doing Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked as he walked over to his young friend that he had hired for the mission.

Noticing Itachi's presence, Naruto grinned at him and ran up before stopping in front of him and giving him a mock salute, "Oh, just waiting on the pilot guy to come back. He told me to tell you that he'd be back in just a bit."

"No." Itachi said in his usual dulcet tone of speaking, "I mean why is there a girl in the back of the plane? Really Naruto, kidnapping? You know I can still arrest you before we leave right?" He was messing with Naruto, but the way he spoke didn't really portray it as such, which made it all the better for his enjoyment.

Naruto frowned and turned back to the plane to look through the window before looking back at Itachi, "What girl in the plane? I can't see anything and I've been here longer than you." Itachi's face didn't change in the slightest underneath his hat and Naruto realized that he was more or less busted. If Itachi actually started searching the plane he'd have found her, "Okay fine goddamn it. How'd you even know she was there? She's cloaking herself."

He didn't say anything, but Itachi merely took his hat off and tapped his face right by one of his Sharingan eyes. That was all he needed to say as Naruto frowned at the cheating eyes and how they could see through anything out of the ordinary.

"I thought you were going blind." Naruto muttered to himself as he knocked on the hull of the plane and inside of it Kyuubi shimmered back into existence, peeking out of one of the windows with a sheepish look on her face.

"I'm not blind yet." Itachi said as he gestured for the girl to get out of the plane with the both of them, "A half-blind Uchiha with a Sharingan still has better vision than any normal person. But how did you sneak her onto the pilot's aircraft?"

"I told him that he needed to go to the store and make sure he was stocked up on elbow grease and headlight fluid." Naruto deadpanned while Kyuubi climbed out of the small plane, "Are you sure this guy's the one that can get us where we need to go?"

"No one flies in and out of Ame no Kuni." Itachi informed the half-demon pair, "It takes a… special sort to risk a mission of this sort. In essence we will be smuggling ourselves in and out."

As they continued to speak, Kyuubi wondered why Itachi hadn't told her to hit the bricks yet, "Why haven't you made me go home yet?" Kyuubi asked Itachi as he was the one that had commissioned Naruto's services to begin with, "I thought the entire reason for bringing only one person was because you didn't trust anyone else."

Itachi's eyes passed over her and he nodded in agreement, "This is true, but then your presence could be beneficiary to us. Someone needs to ensure that Deidara-san does not leave us behind or do something reckless while Naruto and I search for what I need."

"So I'm security for your transportation?" She didn't seem to be too pleased with that, but staying with the plane gave her far less of a chance of having to see any Akatsuki cultists since they'd probably have to hide it while they were grounded.

The sound of audible crunching sounded out in everyone's ears as a young man with a blonde ponytail walked in holding a bunch of bags, eating pretzels out of one of them. He had on tan khaki pants and a mesh shirt underneath a tan flight jacket.

He stopped upon entering the hangar and looked over everyone standing inside while he remained chewing, "Huh, so this is everybody. I don't remember being told anything about having to take a chick, but whatever. Oh." At that he reached into one of the bags before throwing a small container at Naruto, "Here kid."

Quickly catching it out of the air, Naruto looked at it and saw the container to be 'Elbow Grease' hair gel.

"I'm not surprised that you use something like that." Deidara said, making a show of pointing at Naruto's hair, "I bet if someone swung you like a mace it'd do more damage than the real thing with hair like that. I can't give you the Headlight Fluid though. I'm not one for letting minors drink hard alcohol, un."

Taking the initiative, Itachi walked up to their would-be pilot and introduced himself, "I'm the man behind the person that got in contact with you to set this mission up. Are you willing to fly us in and out of Ame no Kuni no questions asked?"

Deidara stared at Itachi for a moment before shrugging and handing half of the bags off of to the man, "You remember my going rate right? Half up front, half when I get you back." Opening the front door to the plane, he started firing up the plane to get it warmed up, "So am I to assume that no pyrotechnics will be required of me on this mission?"

"No, not really." Itachi said, still holding Deidara's bags from the store in his hands as the engines of the plane began to fire up, "This has nothing to do with combat, sabotage, demolition, or anything of a destructive nature." Even over the sound of the engine he could hear Deidara grumbling about how this was going to be so boring.

"Well get on then." The now irritated pilot said as he started putting on his headset and making sure everything was in order for takeoff. What a gyp. Sure, he was being paid good money to fly them out there, but what was so interesting about that?

Naruto just shrugged and started climbing in the back while Itachi circled around to get into the co-pilot's spot, but before Naruto could get in he was stopped by Kyuubi who had a hold on his arm.

Turning back to face her she had a bit of an unreadable expression on her face, "Uh, you both are aware that this is the terrorist Deidara aren't you? The one that got credit for blowing up all of those places in Tsuchi no Kuni a few years ago."

Naruto took a moment to look toward the cockpit where Deidara was still preparing to leave before turning back to the wary redhead before him, "So? I'm technically a terrorist too. Do you know how much stuff my team blew up on just our last mission? It's just that I've got a PMC backing me up making what I do almost legal in this city."

It was still illegal though, which was why missions to kill people inside of the city limits of Konoha were never allowed to go through. It helped to maintain the balance.

As Naruto opened the door for her, Kyuubi still chose to climb into the back where she buckled in and sat in her seat with a pout, "But if we fraternize with him aren't we going to be seen as criminals too?"

Naruto hopped in right beside her and got himself situated while pointing forward to Itachi, "He's a cop-. No, he's _the _cop, period. So ask him."

"No." Itachi said plainly as he had been able to hear the conversation the entire time, "Deidara is a criminal in most regions of Tsuchi no Kuni, but to date he has committed no crimes against Hi no Kuni, and none to the city of Konohagakure no Sato."

"Yeah, the big one was just against my PMC in Iwa." Deidara turned around and showed the palm of one of his hands to the pair in the backseat, revealing a mouth with a tongue in it. He seemed to take delight in grossing the two of them out, "I stole a kinjutsu from the company head when I got passed over to learn it. Well that was the last straw for me and they kicked me to the curb. Not before dumping the blame of every single demolition mission I'd ever taken part in solely on my head though. Nice of them, un."

While Kyuubi continued to shiver at the sight of Deidara's palm until he had enough of the girl freaking out at the strange add-ons to his hands, Itachi looked down at his watch and let out a slight grunt, "Shall we be off then?"

Noticing that Itachi was looking at him, Deidara rolled his eyes and turned back around, hitting switches to finally take off. He didn't think that he liked Itachi very much. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but he was quite certain of his distaste for Konoha's lead keeper of the peace.

He was so lucky that if he blew him up he wouldn't be getting paid, because it was really tempting.

Right, well the plane wasn't going to fly itself.

In a matter of two minutes, the small plane was in the air with Itachi perusing a map that was probably outdated due to Ame's practices and Naruto already sitting hands behind his head to try and get some sleep while he could.

Kyuubi just peered out of the window as more and more distance was put between her new hometown and herself. And to where she was going along with her boyfriend and his policeman ally she wasn't sure if this was such a good idea. But she had to see if her living nightmare had a chance of becoming a true reality.

There wasn't anything she could do as long as they were in the air. All she could do was wait and see. Thus she stopped looking outside and just set her head on Naruto's shoulder to try and get some rest as well.

* * *

Omake: Psyche Evaluation

Though their first meeting wasn't really ideal, the original hunch that Naruto possessed of the bodyguards of the Hokage possessing ties of some sort with the PMC that he called home was correct.

Apparently the pretty woman with long dark hair and the red eyes, Kurenai Yuhi, also doubled as a combat psychiatrist, sort of ironic since she was technically a mercenary as well. It was rather smart though. In a time when private military engagements were extremely widespread, the person that could get into the head of a soldier was in high demand. Many had careers as strategists and interrogators like that Ibiki guy with the scars that Naruto tried to steer clear of in the HQ.

But Kurenai was one of a different ilk, though still extremely lucrative and with far less chance of harm being done to herself. It also served her well as her day-to-day cover. Her use of genjutsu relied heavily on her understanding of the human psyche. But in this role she was merely a shrink of sorts.

And Kaisha Hein hired her to assist in doing yearly evaluations of their operatives.

_And_ her next patient appointment in her modest office in town for that day's round of tests happened to be Naruto who was laying down on a psychiatrist's couch, head turned to the side in Kurenai's direction as he glared at her a bit. He hadn't forgotten just how she'd looked down on his ability to keep Konohamaru and his friends safe during the bodyguard day mission from a while ago.

In her defense he probably wouldn't have trusted himself with the safety and well-being of children either if he had just met himself, whether he knew of himself or not.

Dressed in a rather smart white blouse with a few top buttons undone and black skirt with a red ruby around her neck, Kurenai looked right back at Naruto with a markedly uncomfortable smile on her face, knowing why Naruto's blue eyes seemed so severe, "Well Naruto, I know we didn't meet under the most amiable of circumstances, but I'd like to start over if that's okay. It'll make this entire thing go a lot smoother. So let me just say I apologize. You actually did a wonderful job in protecting the children."

Damn right he did, and his face had said as much when she and Asuma had shown up at the hospital to retrieve them. He almost got smashed into paste by some hulking loser and Sasuke wound up taking a drill of an arrow through the chest.

Still, it was nice to get the apology and Naruto nodded in acceptance of it, "It's alright. So doc, what are we gonna do?"

With her elbows set on the armrests of her rather large and cushy-looking chair, she seemed to be trying to keep him at ease and as casual as possible, "Well I just want to talk with you. Ask a few questions here or there. I just want to get a feel for your state of mind. Is that alright?"

"I guess so." Naruto more or less consented with a frown as he scratched at his hairline, "I don't know what you're looking to find anyway."

Hopefully nothing. The test was meant to monitor whether or not one was cracking under the pressure of the demands that the work required, "Okay, well first of all tell me why you wanted to become a mercenary to begin with." Opening up with a question like that was always good to establish a rapport with younger operatives, especially the rookies.

Seeing nothing wrong with the line of questioning, Naruto looked Kurenai's way and began explaining, "Well as you may or may not know, I don't have parents. But for some reason, Obito-nii, Kakashi-nii, and Rin-neechan were always there as far back as I can remember. I knew I was an orphan, but I always felt like it could have been worse. I eventually had to live alone, and I didn't have a mom or a dad to drop me off on my first day of school, but I had Rin and Shizune."

That was a healthy way of thinking. He seemed to think quite fondly of the older people that had placed themselves around him in his childhood. From her own experiences, Kurenai knew those women. They were good influences. So he wanted to be just like his guardi-.

"Then when I was five in kindergarten I got into a fight with a second grader and got my ASS KICKED!" Naruto accentuated by loudly drawling out the last two words of his sentence for emphasis, "Bad. It was embarrassing how bad it was. At the time it was Obito-nii's turn to check up on me in my old apartment, and when he found out what happened he seemed mad. Not that I fought, but that I lost. That was basically how it started. I started noticing all of them coming back beaten up when they came to watch me, and there was that one time where Kakashi-nii showed up to babysit me with two broken arms. They were so awesome."

Nevermind. She should have known that any list of guardians that included Obito Uchiha on the list had to be half rotten by association alone. That man was certifiable. Even his own family thought he was insane.

Kurenai just deadpanned while looking down at her notebook that she was writing her observations on Naruto in, "Uh huh… and _that_ made you want to be a mercenary?"

"No… I thought it was cool and always wanted to be treated like one, but I didn't really want to do it at all costs until I realized that I sucked at school." Naruto commented idly, lifting his hand up in front of his face as he continued his tale, "It turned into more of a need really by the time I was… ten I'd say." Because by then he had realized that apparently people cared about things like how you did in school when it came to opportunities in life.

Even so, that was okay. At least now things were venturing back to sane territories, "A need you say? That sounds like a particularly strong statement to make. Why would you say that it was a need for you?"

"Because it takes no conventional skills outside of the ability to not die." An earnest Naruto replied, not witnessing Kurenai's facepalm as she still reluctantly wrote down what she needed to, "I swore to myself that I was never going to get a real job no matter what. I can't sing or dance and this definitely beats working for a fucking living don't you think?"

"So you do like this job?"

"I love this job. What's not to like?"

"Let's try and stay on track with the last question then." Yes, in order to try and salvage what was left of his adolescent sanity after everything that he'd been saying without prompting, "What do you like about it?"

"The traveling, the cool weapons and tools, the huge network of friends, the setting of my own hours. That stuff is amazing. The getting stabbed, smashed, hurled off of cliffs, and near-death experiences are kind of downers, but nobody has a perfect job."

Hearing that got Kurenai to blink in surprise. This kid was only fifteen and he had that much to say about something like that? "Just how many times have you almost died?"

Naruto started counting off on his fingers until he reached the correct number tallied, "I think eleven times maybe."

"You almost died eleven times in your life?" But he was still so young! Did he really take that many treacherous missions that often? Wasn't he just about to get out of his rookie year?

At that, Naruto's eyes widened and he started chuckling a bit, "Oh no." That got Kurenai to calm considerably, thinking that he had overplayed just how many times he'd come within arm's reach of the reaper, "…I thought you were talking about just this year. If we're talking about my life it's way more than that."

To be fair, this really had been a banner year for nearly kicking the bucket for him though. A good chunk of the 'near-misses' had come over the last twelve months. He almost died four times in a twelve hour period during the mission to Takigakure.

Meanwhile with a frown, Kurenai perused over her ongoing coverage of the results of her observation of Naruto and the things he happened to be telling her, _'The subject shows an aloof detachment in regards severe physical trauma and even death being inflicted on his person. Personality seems to be an odd combination of extremely high self-confidence and a low sense of self-value.'_

XxX

(Five Minutes Later)

"-And that was the first time I got stabbed. I mean, how was I supposed to know that it was him walking through the doorway? I thought it was Haku. We were playing a game."

"…You jumped on Zabuza Momochi's back after waiting on the ceiling just inside of his office?"

"Yeah! What, did he think that someone snuck into HQ and hid in his office just to take _him_ out? Come on, he's not that important."

'_Being raised since infancy in the presence of the most powerful and dangerous people in the entire country has thoroughly desensitized the subject to the point where he is inaccurately able to identify just how threatening most of them are to his general well-being.'_

XxX

(Twenty Minutes Later)

"What do you see?"

After hearing Kurenai's question, Naruto twisted on the couch and sat up hunched over in deep focus as he looked at an ink blot that she held up for him to look at. Taking it as serious as he would anything asked of him by a superior (a competent superior… because Kurenai actually seemed to have all of her mental faculties about her), he squinted and intently stared.

He took a long time seemingly trying to reason out what he wanted to say before he did so, "Have you ever seen the show Superjail?" He asked, getting a shake of the head from raven-haired beauty, "Hm, well if you haven't seen it before I can't explain to you what I see right now."

So she'd have to wait to find out Naruto's thought process on the ink blot? Okay, "Well for reference's sake which episode in particular should I watch to figure it out?"

Naruto just chuckled a bit before laying back down on the couch, "Any of them. That ink blot reminds me of the whole show. If you watch an episode you'll get what I mean."

Later that night Kurenai would get a bit of time to view a portion of the Superjail show and would deduce that Naruto's waking mind often has a subconscious attraction to locomotive chaos. She also wrote in a suggestion for someone to keep an eye on him just in case of recreational drug use.

XxX

(Thirty Minutes Later)

"So what's the damage doc?" Naruto asked Kurenai as their session drew to a close. For the last three minutes, Kurenai had been flipping through the papers on her clipboard, shaking her head at certain intervals, "Am I cleared?"

Kurenai had to take a sip of water before addressing her current patient, "Well Naruto… I haven't fully analyzed all of the results that I've observed from you, but from witness reports and what I've learned her today I think I can make an educated assessment."

With an eager smile on his face, Naruto wanted to hear just what the pretty lady had gleaned from her hour spent listening to him ramble on.

After a slight clearing of her throat, Kurenai proceeded to proverbially go straight for the jugular, "Naruto, due to your entire lifetime spent around powerful personalities and overtly dangerous individuals that you've come to see as your family, friends, and casual acquaintances you've developed a slight detachment as to your everyday surroundings. Due to being subjected to several perilous situations in your youth that possibly bestowed some sort of post-traumatic stress upon you it has led to an intense narcissism in regards to your own abilities as a mercenary after surviving them."

She stopped just to make sure that she hadn't offended Naruto into responding venomously, but when she looked up from her clipboard she merely saw Naruto still sitting patiently and seemingly taking it all in thoughtfully, "Go on." He said once Kurenai lagged off.

Okay, sure, she could do that, "This is further fueled by your complete disregard for your own personal well-being, your lack of depth when it comes to your future, and all of this is further exacerbated by the fact that you will not heed council from the important adults in your life that wish to steer you towards a focus outside of simply working your way to the top of your trade. _This_ is due to the very loving, but still unavoidably negligent parenting that your collective guardian figures bestowed upon you due to the nature of their work. The clashing personalities all forcing themselves into the molding of your values and ethics didn't help any of this at all."

Despite the long-winded explanation, Naruto got the gist of it. Mostly when it came to the flashy adjectives that Kurenai used that were directed at him, "So… that's bad? You're not going to clear me."

And at that, Kurenai had to let out a sigh as she threw her clipboard to the side, "From what I've found I couldn't in good conscience clear you mentally to go out and work in the field as an officer." Naruto frowned and finally prepared to dispute her, but she preempted him, "But you're not a police officer, you're a mercenary. Therefore you're cleared."

"Say what?" Naruto droned with a raised brow, "What does that matter?"

"Police are civil servants and the departments are meant to be held to a certain level of responsibility when it comes to the mental well-being of the officers that they allow to interact with the general population. The mental state of police officers reflects on the entire public face of the organization. Private military companies aren't nearly as strict as state-sanctioned military bodies. Kaisha Hein is fringe to begin with. You're all operatives in a borderline illegal organization. You can't be wound too tightly to begin with to accept that kind of lifestyle."

Basically she was saying that the test was merely meant as a tool of reference for his profile ledger in case someone wished to hire him directly, "So I was never going to fail this exam?"

Kurenai almost felt the need to reach out and pinch his cheek at such an innocent question for someone that was a killer, "Honey unless you told me to my face that you have a taste for human flesh or you keep the bleached skulls of your victims stored in a shoebox under your bed there's pretty much nothing you could have said that would have gotten me to fail you. And even then with the last one, if you'd killed those victims while on the job I still probably wouldn't have been able to fail you."

"Really?"

"Really. You're all lunatics! If it were up to me I'd have several of you that I've interviewed committed to an asylum if I weren't absolutely sure that you'd just break out within 48 hours."

Well that made Naruto feel a lot better about everything that Kurenai had just told him. A bit of a weight had settled off of his chest despite the fact that he had just been told that several of his coworkers could be construed as clinically insane. But it wasn't as if he hadn't known that to begin with. Jeez, what had he been worried about? If Anko could work there why the hell couldn't he?

Jumping up off of Kurenai's couch, Naruto walked over to her and shook her hand, "Well that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I hope I didn't traumatize you too much with all of the stuff I said."

She just smiled wryly, returning Naruto's handshake with a 'you-don't-know' look on her face, "I can assure you, you aren't even close to the worst that I've had to deal with. Now go on. I'll deliver the results to your HQ along with everyone else's."

Without needing to be told twice, Naruto hustled his way over to the door and gave her a slight wave before leaving her office.

Alright, that left her with ten minutes to her next appointment, and it was another kid apparently, Naruto's age, so this one would probably be easier on her nerves than listening to Naruto had been.

"Hm, this Rock Lee kid doesn't sound like he'll be too unhinged."

* * *

Character Profile 22

Name: Deidara

Nickname: N/A

Age: 19 (Birthday: May 5th)

Height/Weight: 5'10/169 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Slanted blue eyes (one usually concealed by a bang), long blonde hair partly in a ponytail, strange verbal tic (un), powerful propensity for explosives, cocky and relaxed attitude with a challenging personality, borderline impulse control disorder in the form of pyromania, mouths in the palms of his hands, affinity for calculated gambles, highly skilled pilot of all types of vehicles, advanced explosive ninjutsu specialist, sharp natural vision enhanced by an eye-scope.

Likes: Explosions of an artistic variety, stunt pilot shows, wing-surfing, Red Bull, vodka, reenacting the Johnny Utah parachute-chase scene from Point Break, planting explosives of varying sizes in random places to see if anyone will notice them before they blow, thrillseeking, art of all forms, has a habit of mixing gunpowder into his food.

Dislikes: Not sitting in or on a mode of transportation of some sort, weak gunpowder, people that look down on his particular brand of art (art snobs), close-range combat, breaking his hands, not getting to show off, electricity.

Theme Song: "Slaughter" by Billy Preston.

Notes: Deidara is a young man formerly apart of Iwagakure's sole PMC, Kaisha Senkouki (Drill Company), until his reckless and uncaring way that he went about going on his missions and improving himself to express himself in the form of the brutal explosions he used as his method of fighting (his art) eventually led to him stealing the wrong secrets and ended with him being cast out of the organization and forced to flee the country as without Kaisha Senkouki's backing his actions led to him being unfairly labeled by the common media as a terrorist bomber. Deidara travels the Elemental Nations taking on smuggling missions or demolition assignments of a delicate nature, keeping himself fed and outfitted while on the move. In sharp contrast to his image as a terrorist in Tsuchi no Kuni, Deidara is a rather showy individual that fancies himself a starving artist constantly searching for an avenue to show his talents. This is the only true regret he has on being cast out from his former PMC.

Quotes: "Tremble! Be afraid! Recoil in despair! Cower in awe! And cry your heart out, because my art… is an EXPLOSION!"

"On a long enough timeline everyone's rate of survival drops to zero. And in order to accept this fact first of all you've got to know, not fear, but know that someday you are going to die."

"I'm not much for fighting really. I'd much rather be in a position where the people I slaughter aren't close enough to me to try and fight me back. That way I can appraise the explosion I use to kill them. I'm my own worst critic you see."

"A near-death experience every now and again makes life a bit more interesting don't you think!"

"Leadership isn't about blowing things up and stabbing people. Leadership is about telling _others_ to blow things up and stab people."

"For as long as I can remember I've been lied to, taken advantage of, stabbed in the back, and left for dead. And now, I have a way out of this. Heh… so what in the hell makes you think that I'm going to ask for it?"

* * *

**I'm so tired. So very, very tired. Two days isn't enough for me to recharge before getting myself back to work. Serious video production is tough man. That crap takes forever to get right.**

**Oh well. Next chapter The light is going to start to be shone in Danzo's direction and the ragtag crew of cop, mercenary, pretty girl, and unbalanced terrorist bomber are going to enter the most dangerous country in the world.**

**Funderful.**

**Kenchi out.**


	45. No Way Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The second I can bend a spoon with my mind I'll be flying to Tokyo to find Kishimoto and Charles Xavier mindfreak his ass into signing over the rights to me.

**Chapter 45: No Way Out**

* * *

The constantly raining climate of their intended destination started getting to them before they even reached the end of Hi no Kuni. It was a mere trifle though. Everything with the flight was going as smoothly as it possibly could have, which meant that everything was going great.

"Coming up past the border." Deidara informed his passengers as he started turning off every little bit of communication available in the plan, "Phones off now. Airplane mode or not, if they really wanted to they could pinpoint the location of this plane if you kept them on."

With that, everyone turned their phones off at Deidara's behest, "I wasn't aware that the Ame military was that advanced."

"It ain't for the military." Deidara commented, still switching off everything in the cockpit that he didn't need to continue effectively flying the plane, "This is all just for Hanzo himself. I hear all the old man does day in and day out is just sits locked up in his quarters just observing and getting hourly reports on every part of the country that he has influence over. Anything he doesn't like he dispatches forces to take care of and nip in the bud."

Itachi nodded, hearing a lot of the same rumors, "Mostly at the border. Not many outsiders see the inside of the country. Even merchants come here knowing that they'll just have to offload what they have at a border town to a third-party."

Naruto interjected himself in the conversation at hand with his two older allies, "I heard that you can't even get into Amegakure itself without complete background checks every single time. You have to get cavity searched every time too. Even kids."

"Children are good potential assassins." Itachi pointed out, getting a nod from Deidara.

"Yeah, it's why I usually try to plant explosives on most kids around me under the age of eight… just in case they try to get within arm's reach of me." Deidara said, "You never know who's holding a blade." He realized that everyone had gone silent and they were all staring at him, forcing him to get a little bit defensive, "Oh whatever. Konoha really is full of sissies like old man Onoki said if that's enough to turn you off."

Ignoring his jab at the city they lived in, Kyuubi just smoothed her hair out of her face and looked out the window. Due to the rainclouds she was unable to see the ground. How Deidara felt he was good enough to fly to Ame in that without anything to assist him she didn't know.

"I don't care about the military." Kyuubi admitted, "Hanzo's a scary person that we all know about, but with him all you have to do is surrender to his army. The worst they'll do is lock you up in prison. They're not the scariest group in the country."

"Ah." Deidara said, taking a moment to look over his shoulder in the back at Kyuubi, "Talking about those Akatsuki people eh? What a bunch of freaks, un."

"You know about them?" The redhead asked incredulously. It was usually something most people didn't know about outside of Ame's area of influence unless of course you had been attacked by them. And no one that she knew of that had been attacked by them other than her and her parents had survived to tell anyone about it.

"Of course I do. I smuggle stuff in and out of this country all of the time, un. I try to stay away from those nutcases. I've got no problems with people of half-demon descent, as long as they don't fuck with me first." Deidara remarked, upping Kyuubi's opinion of him just from that, "If I start seeing those stupid cloaks popping up wherever we end up we're getting the hell out of there. Nothing good can come from it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Deidara. So someone else knew something about the people that had Kyuubi shaken to the core. That was a welcome event. Maybe he could pick Deidara's memory banks and get something useful out of him, "You ran into these guys?"

"Yeah." Deidara said, "A town in a country to the north of this one. A little place, couldn't have had more than 200 people in it. Razed it to the ground and killed everybody to find a family of half-demons. I flew by during one of my smuggler's runs and landed to take a look when I saw the smoke."

"No survivors?" Kyuubi asked as if she already knew the answer.

"Nope. Not really. Anyone that didn't join them in looking for the demon family to root out and kill got the same." Deidara explained, "I'm not much for genocide, and I don't really need more enemies."

Especially enemies that always had growing numbers due to constantly forcing others into their fold with the threat of assistance or death.

That wasn't important though. Not now anyway, morbid thought or not. Akatsuki was not the point here. They needed to get to Amegakure. And one thing about Hanzo's security that was actually going to work to their advantage was that no Akatsuki cultists were going to get into there. They wore their faith on their sleeves, and it was thought that if they grew too much stronger they could usurp power from Hanzo, thus they were his enemy.

It was the only reassuring thing Kyuubi saw about flying into the most heavily locked down city in the entire world. The fact that there was no chance she'd run into Akatsuki cultists within those city limits.

Any other danger she'd have to face seemed almost insignificant in comparison.

"I still don't feel right about this." Kyuubi murmured, leaning her head on Naruto's shoulder and shutting her eyes instead of looking outside, "Could you sing something to me to make me feel better."

Naruto's head craned to the side from the front almost robotically. What in God's name and all of the time they'd spent together made her think that he was capable of something like that? He didn't know what the hell to sing, even if he was even halfway adept at singing to begin with, so he just went with the first thing that came to mind.

"Uh…" Naruto said before just going for it quickly, "Well this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside-down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. I~In West Philadelphia born and raised-."

"Naruto, what the hell?" Kyuubi asked, cutting him off and cracking open a red eye to stare at him blankly.

"Why'd you stop him, un?" Deidara asked, "I was getting into that." The insane pilot said earnestly, "…Fucking loved that show."

Naruto just ran a hand down her face to shut her eyes again, "You told me to sing, I tried with the first thing I could think of." Why he randomly thought of a now obscure early 90s TV theme, he would never know, but that was not the point.

Either way silence fell over the cab of the plane again with Itachi just looking out to the side out the window, but Naruto had a tick, and he couldn't stop himself now, even if it was just a mutter under his breath. But with the only other sound around being the plane engine, it was heard, "…I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was-."

"No." Itachi said firmly, stopping Naruto cold before he could get started on another one, "None of that. Shame on you."

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato)

A little uncle and nephew time was always something to be sought after. Family bonding was the backbone of adolescent development.

When the uncle was the black sheep of the entire family though, that made it a little more difficult. Not impossible, but a little more difficult. It helped though when the nephew in the equation had a constant connection to the disowned uncle via his ragamuffin best friend.

"So." Obito said in between munching on a bag of popcorn as he and Sasuke walked down the sidewalk in one of Konoha's more well-to-do residential neighborhoods, "Is your old man still pissed off at me for giving up an eye to a buddy?"

"Yeah." Sasuke replied, merely walking at his estranged uncle's side with his hands shoved in his pockets, "Are you still using that eyepatch to pick up women at dive bars?"

"Yep." Obito answered shamelessly, pointing at said eyepatch, "They either think the patch is cool, or in a pinch I can be all woe-is-me and pathetic. I rock this thing well enough that I'm not really bad looking with a missing eye."

Sasuke had always known that his uncle was quite unhinged by Uchiha standards. Hanging out with him really asserted that fact every time he forgot about it every so often, "Uh huh…"

Obito looked over at Sasuke giving him an uncertain look and rolled his single eye before ruffling his favorite nephew's hair, "Don't give me that look. It's only a matter of time before you're next. You're a pretty boy kid. It really wouldn't be that hard for you to get laid." A scoff from Sasuke got Obito to rap him on the head slightly, "Oi, we've got the best eyes in the world. You'd better be enjoying them instead of just training with them. You never know when they'll be gone."

"Ha."

"Shut up. That wasn't really a joke." Obito chided before getting back onto his original topic, "As I was saying, you need a girlfriend if only to see what it's like. Your dad's a stiff that lucked out to get Mikoto because he never learned how to really communicate with women, and he turned Itachi into one too. Both of them are not going to screw you up too if I have anything to say about it. Mikoto will thank me later and you will too."

Sasuke pulled a hand out of his pocket and balled it into a fist before shooting a short glance Obito's way, 'I probably can't beat him, but it's not too much to assume I could get one good punch in on him, is it?' Eventually he thought better of it.

"Dude!"

The loud shout attracted the attention of the Uchiha duo down and across the street to where Kiba could be seen waving overhead at him alongside Akamaru. With them was another woman slightly older than Kiba with brown hair in a ponytail down her back wearing tight black shorts that were high up on her thighs and a frayed green and brown concert t-shirt.

She was obviously related to Kiba though due to the red fang marks on her cheeks that were similar to his.

In reply to Kiba's greeting, Sasuke gave a mostly half-hearted one as he watched his friend and his friend's dog run across the street to him, "Hey Kiba. What are you doing here?"

"I live around here." Kiba said with a grin, giving Sasuke a hearty thump on the back, "The question is, what are _you_ doing around here. This ain't nowhere near your family's district."

"No, no, no, no." Obito interrupted, cutting off anything Sasuke was about to say as he pushed the two boys apart in order to walk between them and stare across the street at Kiba's sister who had stopped to bend down and pet her trio of dogs, "That ain't the question either. The question is; who is that?" And following that, the second question would have to ask whether or not she was eighteen, 'Oh, please be over eighteen.'

Kiba just stared at the strange one-eyed man with a slacked jaw at his audacity while Sasuke could see just why Obito was the black sheep, "Kiba… this is my uncle on my mother's side. Obito Uchiha. Obito-oji, this is Kiba Inuzuka."

"S'up kid." Obito said before putting his one-track mind back on the rails, "Now who's that?"

"That's my sister Hana." Kiba said carefully. He didn't have any problem with guys trying to date her. Having boyfriends actually kept her off of his case which was fantastic for him. But something about this Obito guy seemed off. This guy wasn't like most of the other Uchihas that Kiba had come across before.

He seemed like someone else that Kiba knew, only cranked up to eleven.

"I see…" Taking the previous information and using it like any good mercenary would have, Obito immediately put it to work, "Hey! Inuzuka-chan, come on over here!"

Hana stood back up upon hearing her surname called out and turned to see a man with an eyepatch and a big friendly grin on his face waving over to her with both arms. She knew the boy that her brother was with as Sasuke Uchiha, one of Kiba's better friends. She knew the other man in passing though, since he was kind of famous amongst the underground that her family kept their ear to. Obito Uchiha.

That didn't mean she had to act like she knew of him though. There wasn't any fun in that, "No!" Hana shouted back with a wry smile on her face, "I don't just go up to random guys like that!"

"Okay, I'll go over there then!" And just like that, Obito vanished from sight in a Shunshin before reappearing right at her side, "I'm sorry, that was rude and it was random wasn't it? Allow me to introduce myself. My name is-, OWWW!" Obito exclaimed upon being bitten on his right hand by one of Hana's dogs.

Both Kiba and Sasuke stood on the other side of the road watching Obito nurse his bitten hand while the canine perpetrator panted happily back at Hana's side, and was not being rebuked for its actions, "Your uncle… is kind of weird." Kiba pointed out.

"Yeah, I like to blame the fact that he kind of raised Naruto." Sasuke replied, "But that's not really fair, because he was weird before then too from what mom says. So maybe he's the reason Naruto's weird? I don't know. It's a chicken/egg thing I guess."

"I like the way he just went up to her like he had an automatic shot with Hana though. That took balls." And apparently she liked that because she was giggling at some of the things Obito was saying, "He's actually doing well from what I can hear."

"Please don't encourage him." Sasuke insisted. He loved Obito, and there were times when he was extremely awesome, but then there were times like this, "He's probably stronger than my dad, but his ego's even stronger than that."

Across the street, Hana cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted out to her little brother, "Kiba! I'm gonna take the triplets on the rest of their walk with Obito-san! You can walk Akamaru with your friend Sasuke! If you get home before me, tell mom what I'm doing!" Behind Hana, Obito was silently making a miming motion of his foot being in the door.

And with that, Obito and Hana walked off chatting away, the latter holding onto leashes attached to her trio of dogs.

"Your uncle just got my sister to ditch me." Kiba pointed out, scratching at his cheek idly. He couldn't tell if that was a blessing or a curse all things considered, "I'm debating punching him, but part of me is saying that it's a bad idea."

"Welcome to my world. Come on. Since we're both here we've got work to do." Sasuke said, gesturing for Kiba and Akamaru to go along with him, "Unless you've got something better to do."

Kiba really didn't, thus he had absolutely no problems with that. He also wanted to get to the bottom of whatever the hell had happened to Naruto the other night when he'd chased those guys down the highway, "Where are we going?"

"The only place where no one we don't want to find us won't find us."

"Naruto's penthouse? Our friends all know where that is. And isn't that kind of wrong since he isn't there? You're supposed to be some kind of cop aren't you?"

Sasuke just stared at Kiba long and hard before sighing and running a hand through his hair, "…Alright look, he's the one with the Playstation, and his wireless connection is _way_ better than mine, so if you've got any better ideas-."

Kiba waved his hands defensively in return, "No, no. I'm just making sure that you knew all of this beforehand. I don't care if it's wrong or not."

"Arf!"

At Akamaru's interjection, Sasuke replied as if he could understand the intelligent dog, "It's not wrong. I've got a key."

XxX

(Kaisha Hein HQ – Medical Bay)

The medical bay was usually a place of comfort and relaxation for those that had been lightly injured in the line of duty for their company. A quiet place with comfy beds and really good TVs to stay and rest on until a diagnosis for their condition could be given.

Then Tsunade came back.

Now it was still all of those other things mentioned beforehand. In fact, with her influence it became better. But now winding up in or around the medical bay at the wrong time would result in you getting pelted with heavy furniture that may or may not have come careening through a wall before hitting you.

This happened to be one of those times.

A metal rolling tray found its home on the other side of a hole in the hallway, put straight through it by the brute force of the woman within, "You let him go to that hellhole?" The sound of the voice was cold and controlled, but that belied the hot intent beneath it. Tsunade had little patience by normal standards, and with the person before her she had even less than usual.

Jiraiya had taken it upon himself to venture up from the living quarters beneath the top floors of the HQ to rouse his troops and speak to his beloved Tsunade, catch her up on what was going on, and then the topic of where Naruto had been all day came up. Actually telling her the answer to that question had been a mistake as he now knew.

"He was requested for a mission there and he accepted it, the same as anyone else." Jiraiya defended, hands up defensively in case he had to defend his very life, "I'm not going to sit here and spoon-feed Naruto cushy missions Tsunade-hime, he's an employee here just like anyone else."

"He's just a kid!"

"You don't get to just walk back into town and act like a protective parent! That ship sailed more than ten years ago!" Jiraiya snapped in return. Treating Naruto like a baby that couldn't handle anything would solve nothing, and on this he would fight Tsunade tooth and nail.

Tsunade visibly recoiled, but put her tough front up once more, "And that makes it okay to send him to Amegakure territory?"

"If he accepts the mission that's his business." Jiraiya said sternly. If she felt that strongly about it she could have taken over the damn company back in the day, but she didn't. He did. And his word was what was final, "There are very few people that have any right to tell that boy how to live at all, and you aren't one of them. Kakashi, Rin, and Obito. That's it. Outside of the control I have as his boss, I can't even make him do anything."

"…" Tsunade didn't really have anything to say to that, but she had a point and she knew it, "…Haven't you heard the rumors about that place Jiraiya? What's going on there? I know you do. I wouldn't send any single one of these men or women into that drizzling hell. There's a civil war going on."

Naruto wasn't fighting in the civil war however. He was just going to take a look at something with Itachi Uchiha, and that was all. There wasn't supposed to be a touch of combat. Get in, find what Itachi wanted, memorize what he needed to know, and leave, "Lands held by Amegakure were never really the safest in the world to begin with, even back in our day Tsunade-hime."

"This isn't like back then." Tsunade said, shaking her head, "Back then they were trying to fight off all of the other people using their land as a battlefield. Now the war's actually between them. Not much comes out of there, but none of what I've heard are good things. Reporters don't even try going into that place."

"Reporters aren't trained killers that have spent the better part of their childhoods living around other trained killers learning to protect themselves." Jiraiya offered as a rebuttal, "You want to treat him like a baby? Create a time machine and go back fifteen years to keep yourself from leaving when you did, otherwise all you can do is talk him out of it." But it was too late for that anyway, "Besides, worrying like that is just going to give you wrin-." He realized what he was saying but he'd gone too far to stop himself, "-…kles."

The wall had a new imprint in it. It was better than having a new hole put through it anyway.

XxX

(Several Hours Later – Amegakure no Sato)

"Well…" Naruto said, sitting on a cot in a rather dank jail cell, staring blankly at the bars ahead of his face.

"…Yeah." Deidara said, sitting against the wall on the floor in the exact same area of confinement.

"We didn't last thirty minutes." Naruto said with a kick at the iron bars. Thirty minutes upon entry. They found a quiet spot, had taken it upon themselves to hide the plane, and bang. Cushy little jail cell, "I thought you said you were the best smuggler in the country."

"I got you in didn't I?" Deidara said matter-of-factly, "That was _my_ mission. What happened after that was supposed to be your problem until it was time for me to get you back out." He didn't seem to care that they were locked up in jail in the very worst place on the planet to be imprisoned.

The floors and walls were weathered concrete, dank and moody, the only light that shone into the cell came from a single bulb that they could barely see in the corner of their view in the hallway. This was just a smaller cell. Real political prisoners of Amegakure would be processed in these smaller places before they would be taken to the real prison to rot and suffer.

That was basically what Deidara had told him about their current situation anyway.

And he still didn't seem to care.

"What the hell are you doing?" Naruto asked Deidara who was just hanging out against the wall looking at nothing in particular with his one visible eye, the other still covered by a big blond bang, "I'm bored and terrified at the same time. You haven't even yawned since we got thrown in here."

"Oh. I'm watchin' Netflix, un."

"…What?"

"Yeah, Netflix. I upgraded my eye so I could get a wireless feed from anywhere. I get Hulu Plus, all sorts of stuff. I was watching this shit the whole time we were flying."

Naruto chose to ignore that for the sake of his ever-teetering sanity. They obviously didn't crash and die so it was clearly okay, "Your eye?"

Deidara lifted the bang covering one of his eyes to reveal a strange-looking scope covering it entirely and pointed to it, "Yep. Got this little baby built for me back in the day after I left Iwa. You like it? It's a lot more subtle than the gigantic computer you have on forehead." Naruto touched at his goggles that Tenten had screwed with to make functional in response, "Yeah those, un. I don't know why they didn't take these from us like they did everything else. Have you even seen all of the bells and whistles in it yet?"

"No."

"You have an HUD in there don't you? Check the menu kid. You've at least got wireless. I know you do."

Naruto took his advice and did just that, the outsides of the lenses flashing with a reverse view to anyone looking at his eyes, only to find that he did indeed have internet capabilities and then some, "Oh wow. Aw, I've gotta use the station's connection and it's password prote-. Oop, nevermind, the goggles hacked it without a fight. Go Tenten."

Seriously, if he wasn't already in a relationship he'd be worshipping at that girl's feet by now. Alright, now he finally had a way to kill some time while they came up with a way to escape.

"Ooh! This damn thing's got Tee-tris."

"It's pronounced Tetris you stupid kid. I know you know that."

XxX

(Elsewhere in Amegakure)

Sprawled on a stretch of land in the middle of a vast, vast lake surrounded by smaller communities, the city of Amegakure was huge. It wasn't as big as Konohagakure when it came to how much land it was spread out on, but the sheer height of most of the buildings made up for it. There didn't seem to be a building that wasn't reaching for the clouds that seemed to perpetually be pouring down rain.

There were routine bridges over massive storm drains that seemed to vary in terms of width, spanning from small streams to some the sizes of outright riverbeds. They were much needed though with all of the precipitation that occurred there. It was never really winter or summer there. It always seemed to be perpetually caught in between. Never freezing, yet always cold enough that you needed to wear real clothes.

The entire place had a whole 'Big Brother is watching you' vibe to it, like there were eyes gazing upon you from every window, rooftop, storefront, passing vehicle, and eye that you saw on the street. And that was kind of appropriate since two of the visiting party members got picked up by the police in short order. Someone had to have seen something and stooged to the authorities to bust Naruto and Deidara that quickly.

Itachi wasn't really willing to give them the benefit of the doubt though.

"An hour." Itachi groused to himself. It was hard to notice with his usual placid method of speaking, but with some attention anyone could see it as he walked through the streets of Amegakure with Kyuubi. She had on rain clothes due to the weather and her eyes kept straight ahead, trying not to dart around, "One hour. That was all I needed. I told Naruto to stay out of trouble for one hour. Deidara's an adult. I told him to stay out of trouble for one hour until we came back."

"If he wasn't watching Netflix the whole time he probably would have known what was going on better." Kyuubi said, trying to dial Naruto's phone. She knew that Deidara had been watching movies the whole time since they'd been in the air, but they hadn't crashed so she hadn't cared then. Her thoughts were drawn elsewhere at the sound of the call actually getting through, "Naruto?"

"_Huh? Hey my phone works through the goggles even though they took it from me. Sweet. Hi baby!"_

"He sounds really chipper for being in jail." Kyuubi commented to Itachi who just smirked in return.

"He has practice." Apparently Itachi had thrown him into the cooler enough that it didn't affect him as much as it should have. Apparently one good thing came from almost a decade of delinquency, "Are you both alright?"

"_Yeah, mostly. We surrendered pretty easily. Deidara really doesn't seem to care that we're in jail, and I don't know why, but it's contagious."_

At that point she heard Deidara's voice, _"Why would I care, un? We have at least ten hours until someone gets all of the paperwork crap through to ferry us off to Dead Bolt Canyon. _That's_ the time to worry, because you'll never see us again, alive or dead."_

"Dead Bolt Canyon?" Kyuubi asked with a worried tint to her voice. The destination didn't exactly sound like the loveliest place to be.

Ever informative, Itachi knew enough about the mysterious Amegakure to know what Dead Bolt Canyon was, "Dead Bolt Canyon is a natural canyon miles outside of Amegakure that makes a natural site for a grand prison. Hanzo's made it so that anyone arrested in Ame for any infraction at all is sent there for extreme amounts of time, even for small crimes. I couldn't tell you what happens there however. My contact doesn't know quite that much."

Basically if you got locked in there, good luck seeing the light of day ever again.

"_Look…" _ Deidara continued over the line, _"We'll be fine, and even if we're not you've got about ten hours like I said before you should get worried. In the meantime, go get what you're gonna go get, un."_

"_How are you so cool about all of this? We can't use chakra in this cell you know."_

"_Yes I do know, otherwise you'd probably have done something stupid by now. Just wait. We'll be fine."_

Apparently upon being locked up in a jail cell outside of a moving vehicle, Deidara became the coolest man in the room. Who would have guessed it? Well when you were already borderline insane just how much farther did you really have to fall?

"So in the meantime, what?" Kyuubi asked. This was supposed to be Naruto's mission, not hers. The entire point of the whole thing was to show her that bad things wouldn't happen just because they went somewhere. Granted, this bad thing wasn't because of Akatsuki, but still, it wasn't really a great situation, "We have ten hours to get them out."

"No, Deidara has it handled." Itachi insisted. While he didn't know the man very well, he was supposed to be the best available and someone like that would never let himself get sent off to a hell on earth like Dead Bolt Canyon without knowing full well that they could get out, "We'll carry on with the mission ourselves."

"But I'm not a mercenary." She knew her way around a fight and she felt that she could win and fend off any challenge she had to if it came to that, she did train just as hard as anyone else after all, but Itachi was in a whole different league of awesome, and even he had been asking for assistance, "I'm not Naru-kun. How much help could I be?"

"I didn't hire Naruto because I needed help with the mission itself, I hired him because he has a stake in why it's happening to begin with." Itachi revealed, "But I can't leave you alone to wander the city yourself. You're with me."

Oh. That was actually pretty considerate. Did all of Naruto's friends have the same thought to trust in her because she was his girlfriend? Haku at the HQ did, as did most of the people that were often around Naruto in school before she'd arrived in town. And all of them seemed resolute in their belief from the look of things.

"Okay." Kyuubi agreed with a secure look on her face for the first time since they'd arrived in Amegakure. Everyone else's belief that things were going to wind up just fine finally started rubbing off on her, "I'll go wherever you need to be to get what you're here for."

Itachi nodded, finally seeing her relax a bit. While she was correct to be on guard in a place like Ame, she was hyperaware to the point that she'd wind up burning herself out before anything truly happened. But she seemed to be fine as long as they didn't pass by anything that looked like someone wearing black with red clouds, and they hadn't seen any of that yet.

If Akatsuki was really a cult as extreme as he'd heard, there was no way that someone as paranoid as Hanzo would let them exist in any place that he had control over.

"_You guys do that."_ Naruto said over the phone, reminding Itachi and Kyuubi that there had been a previous conversation going on at the time, _"Deidara and me'll find a way out of here somehow."_ Never say die optimism, _"…Even if we can't use chakra in here."_

"_Chakra's overrated, un. Cute little rookie hasn't learned that yet? Aww…"_

"_Alright Deidara that's it! I swear to Kami if I die in this hellhole of a city and you survive, your ass is haunted brother! I'm gonna come back from the grave and haunt the shit out of you!"_

XxX

(Meanwhile – Konohagakure no Sato – Naruto's Penthouse Apartment)

Sitting in the living room area of Naruto's lofty place that Sasuke had keys to, Sasuke, Kiba, and Shino, the son of the landlord, were situated on couches around the center coffee table with Kiba and Shino playing games on Naruto's massive TV.

Ever diligent when it came to his own curiosity, Sasuke was busy thinking hard to himself about everything that had been happening lately, "Why would that Sai kid make Naruto chase him there of all places?"

The abandoned place where they had been kept captive as children. The incident that led to the death of Shisui Uchiha and ended with Itachi shutting a part of himself off from other members of the clan, including his immediate family to an extent, forever.

"First I heard he attacked Naruto and Kyuubi one day back on the last day of school." Kiba said as he was playing Shino close in a hockey game, "Then some lookalike attacked him in his old place and blew it to hell." Hence the reason why he probably gave Sasuke a key and free reign to stay there so there would usually be someone watching the premises, "Then I help him track the bastard down, and he chases him all over town. Who is that guy?"

"And what does he want from Naruto-san?" Shino added on emotionlessly, sunglasses-clad eyes locked onto the television screen, "There are far more powerful and experienced people in his field to target for whatever this group requires aren't there?"

Even back when Naruto and Sasuke were children these shadowy folks targeted him. At first Sasuke believed that it had been him that they had been after, to get his Sharingan somehow. But now that made no sense. He didn't have it active back then, and even if he did there would have been far softer Uchiha targets to take than him.

No, it had been for something else. It had to have been. Otherwise they would have just killed Naruto since they didn't need him, So in that situation Naruto hadn't been the third wheel… it had been him that whole time.

"Come on." Sasuke said, tapping a knuckle off of his temple, "Think of everything about Naruto that some clandestine black-ops people would want with him, even before he became a mercenary."

"He was raised by like three of them wasn't he?" Kiba asked, quickly inhaling as Shino had almost scored and broken their overtime stalemate in the game, "Your uncle and two more. They're pretty strong aren't they?"

Getting at highly treasured mercenaries and keeping them at their mercy. If nothing else, the trio of Kakashi, Rin, and Obito seemed to see Naruto as kin so it wasn't so outlandish a reason, was it?

"Obito-oji isn't so important that they'd kidnap a little kid to get something from him." Sasuke said, shooting down that theory, "His partners too. I mean they're good, but not that significant in the grand scheme of things outside of being elite manpower." They weren't integral cogs that the local PMC couldn't do without, so keeping Naruto to keep them under their thumb wasn't that good of a purpose to take him.

And then the Akatsuki thing floated into Sasuke's head. If other people elsewhere had such a heavy problem with half-demon people why couldn't the same thing happen domestically to some extent?

"Maybe it's because he's a half-demon." Sasuke ventured to guess.

"But he's not a real half-demon." Kiba replied without taking his eyes off of the screen. Thus he didn't see Sasuke's look of stupidity in his direction. He could feel it though, and chose to elaborate in his own defense, "I mean he smells human, it's just that it was always with a little something extra on top that I couldn't tell until I met Kyuubi. _She's _half-demon. I could tell that from the jump, and that's when I picked up what the little extra was from Naruto."

"How does this not make him a half-demon?" Shino asked. Sasuke was going to do the same, but the way Shino did it was much more polite than how Sasuke was probably going to do it, by far, "You just told us-."

"I know. And I never said he wasn't a half-demon. I said he wasn't a _real_ half-demon." Kiba paused the game and threw the controller to the side before linking his fingers together, "It's like this. Kyuubi, her demon stuff seems bonded to her by DNA. Naruto just seems like his is human but it's covered with something else. Hers smells mixed, his smells layered. Do you get me now?" Because he really couldn't explain it any better than that.

"So why would their physiologies be so different if they were both the same in essence?"

"Beats the hell out of me man. I'm just telling you what I know here." And with that, Kiba and Shino continued the game.

Sasuke meanwhile, kept on thinking. He remembered hearing something in the past from either Naruto or his beau about him being an artificial half-demon. What the hell did that mean? Did someone turn him? Was that even possible, like with a bite or something? He didn't know how half-demons worked.

Oh man, if someone turned Naruto like a vampire in one of those weak-ass Twilight movies he was never going to let that running joke die. Never, ever, ever.

No, that was stupid. Their imprisonment happened long before Naruto even knew jack about demonic lineage. If they knew who the fuck Naruto's parents were this would all be so much easier.

Wait. Obito. If he felt attached enough to Naruto to partially raise him, same with the rest of his teammates, then there had to be something there. Nobody just raised someone else's baby for no reason when you were barely a teenager yourself. That was insane. There had to be some major sense of responsibility for him to make that happen.

A knock came at the door since only people who had the key could take the elevator all the way up to that floor, and since Shino and Kiba were 'busy', Sasuke was the one that hopped up and walked over to answer it since his train of thought had been thoroughly broken.

He stiffened straight up and almost jerked the door open when he looked through the peephole to see that it was the ever-lovely and noble Hinata Hyuuga on the other side of it.

Kiba noticed who it was once the scent in the room changed and quickly shifted his eyes in her direction to let out a slight wolf whistle at the sight of the pretty, "Hello Hyuuga-chan~!" Unfortunately, Shino took that moment to shoot through Kiba's defense and score in overtime, ending the game unceremoniously, "You douchebag! I paused it!"

"And I unpaused it. Eyes on the game and not the lady." Shino said, completely unapologetic for how he obtained victory.

"Uh hey." Sasuke said, a bit out of character for how he could usually be expected to greet basically anyone else in the world. Mostly because it wasn't a surly and curt question of what the hell that person wanted, "This is a long way from your part of town. What brings you here?"

Hinata wished that she could gift Sasuke with a smile for answering the door so quickly, but she had a real reason to be there, "Are you aware that Naruto-kun is in jail?"

Jail? What the hell?

"No." Sasuke said almost flatly, "He can't be in jail anywhere in Hi no Kuni. He just left the other day with Itachi." Itachi would never let Naruto do something stupid enough to get arrested in a civilized area while he was with him. Not a chance.

Hinata just picked up her phone and started browsing through it before holding up the screen for Sasuke to see, "About thirty minutes ago he updated his Facebook status to, 'Trapped in an Ame jail cell, waiting to get sent to political prison. Sucks. Really wanna watch cartoons right now.'" She said, completely serious as Sasuke then read. "He just changed it to, 'Watching CatDog on Hulu. Tenten rules.'"

Sasuke just stared at her for several seconds before speaking, "How can he update his Facebook from jail? Any jail?"

That's what his first question was? What the hell was wrong with these people? That should have been way down the list of questions that sprang to mind at that moment.

"Why is he in Amegakure to begin with? That entire country is terrible!" Hinata insisted as Sasuke let her inside of the apartment to sit down with the others, "It's the most dangerous nation in the world, even from what little we know about it. People wouldn't say so many awful things about a place if most of them weren't true."

"Now, now." Kiba said with a consoling hand on her shoulder, "Everything's gonna be okay. Just sit on my lap and tell me all about it. What the f-?"

Both of his arms were then paralyzed swiftly and without mercy via Hinata's special fighting style. She was kind, but no one laid hands on the princess without her previous consent… and absolutely no one propositioned her in such a crude manner.

Whatever anger Sasuke had at seeing Kiba attempt to brazenly hit on Hinata vanished upon seeing him swing his arms around like limp noodles to try and get the feeling back into them, "That'll wear off in like… three hours." Sasuke said, unable to keep the smirk off of his face as he forced Kiba aside and sat down next to Hinata, whom had no desire to close off any of his tenketsu unlike how she did with Kiba's, "Help us out really quick. When you look at Naruto's chakra what do you see as opposed to Kyuubi's? They're both half-demons but Naruto is supposed to be different somehow."

Hinata had indeed seen both of their chakra systems with her Byakugan and could orate clearly what the difference was, "It's simple. Naruto-kun's chakra seems like he has two sources that are usually kept apart strangely enough, while Kyuubi's is automatically a mixture of both human and demonic energy."

"Told you." The limp-armed Kiba boasted, "They're different. Other half-demons' chakra would probably be like hers, not Naruto's."

Okay, fine. For once Kiba had a point, and it had been basically confirmed by someone who had a better track record of good judgment than the borderline delinquent of an Inuzuka, "But seriously." Sasuke said, "Itachi's supposed to be there. Jail is the last place any of them should be."

"Amegakure is a martial law state at last check." Shino commented informatively, "People can be arrested for no reason other than looking suspicious. There are no rights in a place such as that. Everything is under Hanzo's control, and it has been ever since he consolidated complete control over the entire country decades ago. But I wonder… what kind of hell are the people sent to the political prison of a man like that subjected to?"

XxX

(Just Outside of Amegakure no Sato – Dead Bolt Canyon)

A pair of figures stood on an overhang overlooking a vast, steep valley below with an extremely large prison built into the opposite cliff wall of the landform. A tall, pale man with stringy red hair that hung down over his eyes and a woman with dull amber eyes and blue hair with a light blue origami flower in it, both wearing Akatsuki cloaks, looked down onto the lands before them.

All of the flat land at the bottom of the canyon belonged to the prison, which was basically a fortress from the outside. Normally it would have been nearly impossible to get inside without calling down a stern wrath from nearby Amegakure, but there was a little problem with the impenetrable prison of the mighty Salamander Hanzo.

The fact that there was an apparent prison-wide riot taking place that had all of the prisoners fighting tooth-and-nail to the death for their freedom. Most of them weren't even warriors of any sort, but they were able to make the situation perilous for the well-trained guards because of the sheer numbers within the overcrowded facility. How something like this had never been attempted before, they couldn't tell why.

Maybe they just needed a good leader to organize and inspire them to fight.

Either way…

"It's time Konan." The pale red-haired man said calmly, never taking his covered eyes away from the battleground that was a prison, "Let's go get our leader back. Hopefully he was able to turn quite a few to our cause while inside of that hell. It couldn't be that hard to do so while in there."

The woman Konan gave a ghost of a smile to her comrade in turn before looking down at the prison herself, "Yahiko might be the soul of Akatsuki, but you're the heart. You have to know that by now Nagato. You're the symbol of our strength."

"I like to think all three of us are." Nagato said before raising a hand and tilting his hand forward, "But we can talk more when this is all over and Ame is ours for good." From behind, out of seemingly nowhere a crashing wave of black with red clouds flew past them and down into the canyon itself.

XxX

(Inside of Dead Bolt Canyon Prison)

Inside of the office of the head warden of the prison, a man with short spiky orange hair sat almost naked and tied to a chair, surrounded by three regular guards. His body was covered in older scars and newer wounds that seemed to have been caused if only a few hours before, "Well warden… I sure hope you've enjoyed the last six months with me here. Because that's over now."

"Ha!" The large warden barked before stomping over to the man and punching him in the face just for the pleasure of it, "Just because a little riot started? None of these people are any kinds of fighters! We'll have this little uprising suppressed by nightfall." He reached out and grabbed a handful of the man's spiky hair to get him to look him in the eye, "I had hoped that keeping one of the ringleaders of the cultists captive would have shown me just what made you so special. But all you've done for six months is run your mouth to the hopeless fools here."

The guards chuckled at that. Upon first being locked inside of the prison all he would do was talk up their cause about how they would bring peace to Ame by any means necessary, and then how they would do the same to the world and cleanse it of the seed of chaos and strife.

It sounded like a bunch of nonsense, and he sounded more like a preacher on a pulpit, or some kind of radical politician. It was a joke.

But then the word trickled down that he was supposedly one of the three ringleaders of the entire Akatsuki movement; Yahiko. He didn't seem that powerful from what they'd seen. He hadn't killed anyone while in prison, preferring to talk everything down. The man had incredible charisma admittedly, but he seemed like he would rather talk than do battle

"And I haven't seen hide nor hair of this army of followers that you apparently have." The warden said again, flicking Yahiko in the forehead derisively, "I thought a leader as big-time as you would have legions lining up to hurl themselves at the walls to break you out."

Yahiko just sucked at his own lips before turning his eyes to the window looking out at the rest of the canyon, "You might want turn around then."

When the warden did just that, his jaw dropped open at the sight of the black cloaked army storming down the canyon walls coming his way, "…That's impossible. Armies don't exist anymore."

Anywhere. The last real war had occurred decades upon decades ago. The more cost-effective way of handling any sorts of disputes these days were to either become strong and train your own small force, or the most common way was to hire a PMC to fight the battle for you. But these numbers…

"Mine does." Yahiko said with a bloody grin before spitting onto the ground, "If you run now you might make it to the secret exit at the back of the canyon before they get to you. But then again the prisoners-. No, I mean the new recruits to Akatsuki, they might get to you."

The turmoil of the entire prison finally found its way to the office as a banging started slamming out from the barred doors. The other guards turned to the doors and started brandishing weapons, but then the windows behind them were broken open in turn by projectiles thrown from outside. Two paper roses that stuck to the opposite wall closest to the doors.

"Make them stop or I'll kill you!" The warden warned, pulling a short blade from his person as he slowly stalked Yahiko down, "This is because of you! And all of the trash you were telling them!"

"Partly, but it's mostly because you're a brutal bully." Yahiko said, smirking and not minding one bit that there was a man coming towards him to maim or kill him with a weapon, "You're just some middle-management member of Hanzo's Kaisha Tekagi (Hook Company) that managed to get a cushy job running this place and beating up prisoners. You think brutalizing the inmates in this place will put you on Hanzo's good side because they're his political detainees. And even if it did, it put you on our bad side."

"Stop talking like you're the one in control!"

He was the one that had been receiving their 'generous' hospitalities for the last six months. He was the one tied to the chair with scars that they had given him since they'd brought him there. But he just didn't seem to care about any of it.

"Ha! I got arrested on purpose you idiot! Just so I could get this close to Ame without starting a battle with Kaisha Tekagi! Do you really think I couldn't have turned this place inside-out by myself a long time ago? If I had done it sooner Hanzo would have noticed!" Yahiko's grin turned vindictive and a bit vicious, "Thanks for being such a fool. You've really made it so much easier to get to him since you didn't let word out about the break. And thanks for the impenetrable base _right next to the city_!"

The warden ran angrily at the mouthy Akatsuki leader to carve some respect or fear into him, but as he did, the two paper roses on the wall got larger and opened to reveal Konan and Nagato in a burst of paper petals that shredded the guards in the room.

The bloody mess that quickly became of his men in the blink of an eye got the warden to drop his weapon and back up as Konan and Yahiko walked to both sides of Yahiko, "No… no, no, no. This can't be happening. It's impossible. You're just-." He steeled himself and decided to go out on his feet, "You're just bloviated idealists! There isn't anything special or powerful about any of you!"

What kind of powerful leader would allow himself to be beaten and humiliated for almost two weeks without lifting a finger to fight back in return if he wasn't a weakling? They just had numbers. Untrained numbers.

Konan and Nagato looked at each other before the latter lifted an arm and turned it into what appeared to be a robotic laser cannon, charged and ready to fire, chakra glowing from the front of it before it fired and he blew out a scope of wall bigger than the room itself had been, with the warden right along with it.

Yahiko just stared and smirked, "I never get tired of seeing that." Looking up at Nagato he saw the odd ripple-patterned purple eyes of the red-haired man looking down at him, "I'm glad you two were patient enough to wait for the signal. I thought you didn't believe I'd be able to get a bunch of prisoners on our side."

"Desperate people look for things to believe in." Konan said as she formed an origami sword out of seemingly nothing and cut Yahiko free from his bonds, "It's not really that hard to believe that you'd manage to get their faith. You've had a long time to practice after all." She looked over his copious amount of scars that she knew for a fact hadn't been there when he'd gone in, "…Yahiko."

"I'm fine." He said, cutting her off, "I wish I had some damn pants to put on, but I'm fine." At that he was handed clothes and a cloak to change into, much to his appreciation, "Now at least I won't have my balls hanging out in the rain when we leave." He then turned his gaze to Konan, "…Unless you're into that."

"Shower and get treated oh great leader." Konan said, shoving him away with some red on her cheeks, though her expression didn't change, "We still have things to do."

At that point the door was finally broken down with multiple prisoners and even a few uniformed Akatsuki members entering the office to find the guards dead and Yahiko freed, "Sirs, ma'am, the prison is overrun. It's ours."

"Good." Yahiko said, not seeming to pay them much mind, "This is the most important victory we've had to date. Ame can be ours by midnight at this rate. We have a stronghold more secure than Hanzo's in the city. We can destroy him from here. Now about the other important thing…"

"There are 158 half-demons we've found imprisoned here are waiting out in the front courtyard with the others. Sixteen of prison guards that were here have demonic blood as well. They surrendered and the other half-demons are guarding them."

Yahiko's eyes hardened and he walked to the gigantic hole in the wall to look out at the mass of humanity that consisted of his Akatsuki. In the middle of the throng there were a set of prisoners that were surrounding the aforementioned sixteen guards.

Every other freed prisoner and Akatsuki member was giving them a wide berth, probably under the guise of telling them that the only people that could definitely keep watch over dangerous folks with potential demonic abilities were others with the same potential. Looking over to Nagato for confirmation that these were indeed what he had been indicated that they were, the redhead nodded and slipped out of sight.

Upon seeing the familiar form of their leader alive and well they let out a massive cheer until he raised his hand to quiet them down, "Today's victory is not yet won!" He shouted to all of them, "We've made great strides, but as long as we're fugitives in the land that we wish to lead the way into the future all of our wins mean nothing!"

At that point, Konan stood with him at his side, getting the overwhelming crowd of black and red to drop to one knee and bow before all of them.

"Sixteen of Hanzo's dogs, that kept innocent people imprisoned, that tormented all of you and locked you up here for no reason other than drawing Hanzo's attention in the slightest… you know why they were chosen? Because the demonic taint on the human condition drives them to create war, strife, terror, suffering! And what is the only way that humanity can protect itself from the ever-growing half-demon threat?"

"ERADICATE THEM ALL!"

The eyes of every last one of the half-demons went wide in horror, even the ones standing watch over the prison guards. What was he talking about? They said that nothing would happen to them if they sided with the prisoners and helped them free the facility. That they too would receive places in the army.

Many of them bared their slightly sharper than normal canines and their eyes flashed faintly in a multitude of angry and fearful colors.

"You can see it now can't you? How readily they turn their blades against us without provocation. Only then will the world ever know peace." Yahiko said, shutting his eyes as the rain started impacting off of his face and bare body, "This world of ours has suffered for long enough. In the times of the constant conflict in the centuries past, those with that blood of the damned creatures of yore were the most barbaric in battle, fueling the horrors of warfare on all sides. Only when human beings en masse discovered the wonders of chakra did those barbaric atrocities cease."

The crowd began to part on the way to the outcasts as Nagato walked his way through, "War won't end until their influence is all gone." He said, and though his words were softer and in less volume than Yahiko's they rang out just as sternly, "We'll change this world for the better, for good. By any means necessary. We will be the new gods of this world. Because we're the only ones brave enough to lead by an example that you all are strong enough to follow."

"And that means what?" Yahiko asked everyone.

"ERADICATE THEM ALL!"

Nagato continued to walk, even when he went right into the crowd of the half-demons, stunned that he would do such a thing after outright threatening them all with death, "I'm truly sorry." Nagato said with a true reflection of such in his voice, "If only… if only you weren't all tainted. You would have made trusted comrades to the Akatsuki. Thank you for today." As if broken from a trance, they all charged forward to mob him and kill him, and he didn't flinch, only extending his hands around him to cause a ripple in the air, "Shinra Tensei (Heavenly Subjugation of the Omnipresent God)!"

The sounds of bones breaking could be heard over the shouts of pain and anguish, over the death throes of the surrounding people that had been forced away with impossibly powerful push of gravity.

Over 175 people were killed or crippled in one moment. From one jutsu.

Most of these people weren't trained to tap into the demonic aspect of their abilities even if some of them were warriors. They had the _potential_ to. It was there of course. But they weren't trained to do it under normal circumstances. Very few with half-demon blood kept up the tradition of training in their abilities in order to blend in more normally in current society.

In this aspect of Akatsuki at least, there was no discrimination.

They would destroy every half-demon that came to their notice whether they were capable of using youki in battle or not. It made no difference to their principles. All half-demons were inherently evil and had the potential to perpetuate the haze of war over the world, just like they did in the past.

And with the sole catalysts for heartbreak and destruction in the centuries past finally then they would bring true peace to the whole planet.

The man that had the eyes of God. The prophet that could unite them all no matter what country or background was their origin. The woman that was their angel.

XxX

(With Itachi and Kyuubi – In Amegakure no Sato – Near Municipal Building)

They had been walking all around town, and Itachi seemed to be looking for something. Kyuubi simply kept her eyes open and kept from looking too nervous. Being around cool and collected Itachi, who was supposed to be one of the strongest men in all of Konoha bar none.

The people they passed on the sidewalks seemed to be rather downtrodden and tired. Maybe it was just the weather that did this to them, that made it difficult for them to show any fortitude. The fact that there were members of the local PMC on seemingly every other corner keeping a watch on absolutely everything around probably made it even more difficult to enjoy their lives there as well.

"Why don't they just leave?" Kyuubi asked lowly, finally tiring of the gloomy atmosphere of the large city, "I haven't heard any laughter, seen a smile… nothing since we've gotten here. How can people live like this?"

"Human beings are extremely adaptable creatures." Itachi said, not minding the rain pouring down on his head as he walked with his hands shoved into the pockets of his trench coat, "If it's a setting that is all they've ever known, how can they understand or even know that things will be different somewhere else. Hanzo filters everything that comes in and out of this country, be it information or the people themselves."

As had been said time and time again, the entire country had been 'dark' for decades. Locked down. Only members of Kaisha Tekagi were really allowed to leave in order to go on missions abroad, but they always had to return.

"These are the conditions presented to them." Itachi continued, "Thus these are the conditions that they live under, whether they like it or not. They have no options but to endure."

All kinds of different places formed all different sorts of people. Ame had different people from Konoha, Konoha had different people from Suna, and it went on and on. The environment determined what sorts of folks would emerge, and in Ame it was an oppressive one. That was just the way it was.

Eventually they wound up outside of a very large, wide skyscraper with beautiful glass windows that had a wonderful gleam to them even in the rain. Out front was a bus stop, but there was only one person sitting there reading a newspaper.

Itachi's eyes caught that it was actually a rather old copy of a paper, probably six or seven years old, though the month and day was the exact same as the one on this day, "How's the weather?" He asked.

The young man holding the newspaper lowered it to reveal a youthful face on a young man with dark hair and eyes, "I've lived in better." He said, waiting for Itachi's response and getting it with a curt nod, "Idate." He then rolled the paper up and handed it over to Itachi before getting up to leave, "A pleasure."

"Many thanks." With that, Itachi handed him a thick wad of money that the young man proceeded to flip through to count up. Noting that Kyuubi was rather confused, Itachi explained, walking and leading her on farther, "Idate Morino, the younger brother of a rather prominent member of Naruto-kun's PMC. He wasn't able to join himself for… various reasons and became a rather adept informant that I was able to contact months ago."

"What for?"

"I needed someone on the inside to inform me on what I'd need to know about the artifact I'm trying to get a look at." Itachi said, not letting onto too much. There were some things that he wasn't willing to divulge to someone that wasn't already read in on just what he was looking for and why he was looking for it.

That was it? They came all that way just to get Itachi a peek at something. Sure, with the Sharingan that was probably all he would need to learn what he required about it, but still, "You just want a look?"

"It's all I need to find what I want to know."

"So Idate's from Konoha? How'd he get here?" Ame was supposed to be ultra-strict and the people all had to be registered as civilians or at least have valid identification in case they were stopped on the street. They had it, but if anyone actually tried to run their papers they wouldn't manage to pull up anything on any databases, thus it was all for show.

"Painstakingly." Itachi said resolutely, "And now that I've paid him for the information I require he's going to leave."

"Just like that? Isn't that supposed to be extremely difficult to do?"

"Well he doesn't have the services of an insane smuggler pilot like we do, but I'm certain he'll manage. He got in after all."

XxX

(With Naruto and Deidara – Amegakure Prisoner Processing Detention Center 5)

"So what's Iwa like anyway? I've never met anyone actually from there before."

"It's a nice enough place I suppose. I never really liked it there though, un. People tended to hold grudges. My boss was a dick too so that didn't help."

It had been two more hours locked up in jail, and though neither of the two blonds were fans of their settings Deidara insisted that all they had to do was wait. It wasn't as if they had any choice either. There wasn't anyone that could do anything for them except Itachi and Kyuubi, and once they broke them out they'd never be able to get what Itachi was looking for.

At least if just Naruto and Deidara broke out alone only they'd be incurring the wrath of the local PMC's manhunt for them. But that was getting ahead of themselves, because they were still trapped.

"Kami almighty this is boring." Deidara said, thumping the back of his head off of the wall he was sitting against. Even though he was aware of the process of Ame prisoners he had still never been in jail before and expected… something else, "What are we supposed to do? Aren't the guards supposed to do… anything?"

"We're doing it man." Naruto said, still perusing through everything that Tenten put into his goggles so far back, "This is it. We're right in the thick of the action."

"Eh?"

"We hang out here, eventually they throw food or something at us, and then we hang out here some more until they let us go… or take us to that Dead Bolt Canyon place." Naruto said dryly, now seeming to have fully taken on Deidara's collected stance on their position, "You know how someone might describe a situation that's unpleasant or confining as being 'like a prison?'" Deidara nodded, "…This is what they were referring to."

"Shut up in there!" One of the mercenaries that had imprisoned them cried out as he went there to check on them, "All I've heard for the last few hours is you two idiots talking to each other about the most random shit I've ever heard prisoners talk about! You had a thirty minute argument about how Dragonball Z made every human character unnecessary in the first episode! Don't you know where you are? You aren't even saying anything about what's going to happen to you?"

"We don't care because we're getting out." Naruto said with a shrug, getting up to the bars as the man stood in front of their cell trying to look tough, "What do you think about that though? I say the human characters were still necessary even as meat-shields and Deidara says that they should have just been phased out since it was all about the saiya-."

"I don't care! You're both retarded!" The man said as he kicked the bars.

Deidara heard a jangle at his movement and turned his head to lool over at the man that he hadn't been paying attention to. He then noticed something that made him grin, "Oh, would you look at that? Our bail's been posted."

"There's no bail here you idiot! You're going to Dead Bo-!"

"Katsu!"

On the man's shoulder there was a small clay insect that blew up upon Deidara's trigger word. It sounded like a firecracker, but it didn't explode like one. The blast was big enough to blow the man's head apart. Needless to say this killed him on the spot.

A satisfied Deidara got up and walked over to the bars where he reached and felt for the keys on the dead man's body, "Oh yeah. I love it when a plan comes together. No chakra needed for a key phrase to work."

He dropped that little C1 clay bug when they'd been arrested, as it was meant to follow them. It was so small it could hide itself as they were being transported and wound up hiding itself on the man that had the keys to their cell, but it took a while for the guy with the keys to get close enough to the cell for Deidara to call for its detonation.

The fact that it took several hours was just standard for the circumstances at hand.

"Ha!" Deidara said, turning to Naruto and holding up the keys to the cells in his hands, "Let's get the hell out of here kid! What's the matter with you?" He asked upon noticing the very dry look on the portion of Naruto's face that was visible.

Naruto's face and upper body was covered in blood, bits of skull, and brain matter. Thank goodness he had his goggles down, "You blew a guy's head apart right in my face." Naruto said, not even willing to wipe the gore off of his person, "_Right_ in my face."

"Well…" Deidara said carelessly as he started digging through the keychain to find the one that would free them, "Look at it this way; at least now you know how your girlfriend feels. Oooooh!" He unlocked the door and moved to the side just as Naruto tried to tackle him into the bars. Instead he plowed into the door and fell onto the bloody ground, "Hey, get up and let's go. The rain'll wash you off."

"I'm gonna get you back for that so bad." Naruto said as he got up and followed Deidara through the cell block to their apparent freedom, "How are we supposed to get out of here without getting everybody's attention?" They just killed somebody. Even if it took more than thirty minutes they were going to look for that guy and then all hell would break loose.

"You let me worry about that, un. Let's go get the rest of our stuff for now." They had to go and make sure the plane was still alright. They'd hidden it before being arrested, but they couldn't count on it remaining that way without checking if they were any kind of intelligent.

* * *

**It's been a while but it's back with a new installment. **

**Hope it was good for you, and I'll have more at some later time. Kenchi out.**


	46. Blame It On the Rain

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did there would have been one featured battle on a moving vehicle of some kind. A train, an aircraft, damn, something. Come on, you're missing the boat here! That would have been so awesome!

**Chapter 46: Blame It On the Rain**

* * *

Deidara cackled to himself as he and Naruto quickly made their way through the streets of Amegakure, wearing confiscated ponchos to keep themselves from getting drenched by the constant rainy climate of the city, "Alright, alright, alright. You see kid? We made it out and there isn't even a warning out to look for us yet."

"Thanks to me _not _blowing stuff up." Naruto muttered irritably as he followed the taller blond, "I guess we've got like forty-five minutes or an hour before someone else goes back in there to check on us and they see that we're not there."

"Good on you for learning that Henge thing, un." Deidara complemented, only getting a gruff snort in return, "Oh, are you still pissed about the guy's head exploding on you? Look, you got to take a shower."

"What the hell are you talking about 'shower'? We walked out into the rain and that was it! I still think I've got grey matter caught between my goggles!" Naruto complained loudly, pulling his eyewear off to pick at a corner of the outside to emphasize just that.

"Man you bitch a lot. Anyone ever tell you that?" Deidara said before mimicking a high-pitched female's voice, "'Eek, Deidara blew up a guy's head in my face! Eek, Deidara was doing barrel rolls and throwing explosives out of the plane to celebrate smuggling us all over the border!'" He ended his girly mimicry with that, "You could at least try to be punk rock about it and ignore the shit I do."

"I _was_ ignoring the shit you do." Naruto replied, "I didn't bitch until you turned that guy's head into an M-80 three feet away from me."

"But you're still admitting that you're bitching now, un."

Eventually Naruto got tired of the one-way argument, mostly because he wasn't winning it, and tried to get things back on track, "Alright, whatever. What about the plane?"

"I'll get the plane." Deidara said with a confident grin, "They aren't taking my baby away to some shitty impound. I'd blow it up first." He then held up a hand-seal, "Seriously, if they wind up finding where we hid the plane I'm gonna blow it up. Should I do it now?" This man was clinically insane.

"Don't blow the plane up." Naruto begged him, grabbing onto his hands to force him out of the hand-seal, "Just… look, I'll go find Itachi and Kyuu-chan. Just be ready to fly us the hell out of this Kami-forsaken place."

"You sure? If you get arrested again I won't be able to break you out."

"You're the reason we got arrested in the first place!"

"Lies! Slanderous lies! I'm taking this to my publicist, and we'll sue your balls to the wall, un!"

There wasn't really a rebuttal that Naruto had for that, at least not right now, so he just turned and walked in the opposite direction of Deidara. He would head back out to their hiding spot, make sure it was clear, and keep the plane safe or find a way to move it. Naruto on the other hand would link up with Itachi and see if they could still go through with their original infiltration plan to get to Itachi's goal.

His attempts to call Kyuubi or Itachi were failing though, which meant that they had probably started sneaking into wherever they were. A place that he had no idea where it was. That was fine though. All he had to do was focus a bit. He couldn't pick out most people and locate them without some kind of tracking device or a tracking specialist to help him, but he could always find Kyuubi.

It was weird and kind of creepy even to him so he never brought it up, but he had his own ways of finding her. It wasn't really that he could track her scent or something as he wasn't Kiba. It was more like he was attracted to the signature of her youki that her chakra was always mixed perfectly with, like he could feel her out.

And with that sensitive connection available to him he went on his swift way to find her. He wished that they had taxis or buses or trains, or something in Ame though, because damn it… he felt like she had to be at least seventy blocks away.

"…Hate this place."

XxX

(With Itachi and Kyuubi – Downtown Amegakure no Sato – Kaisha Tekagi Central HQ Building)

Walking into the front of a main government building, Itachi led Kyuubi straight through the door and right past the front desk without even stopping to acknowledge the security guard sitting behind it or the quick-response team in a small office overseeing the lobby. All of them seemed to wear black waterproof uniforms to deal with the constant rainfall in the city, but that wasn't of much importance.

It took a moment for them to register what was happening since it was so ballsy but eventually the guard out front stood up to intercept them as his backup stormed out from the back, "Hey, what the hell are you-!"

He was silenced by Itachi doing nothing more than pointing at him and gesturing with that very finger for him to sit down. Kyuubi was completely stunned as Itachi just grabbed her by the arm and they continued on as if he hadn't just stopped all of the security from going for their throats by just pointing at some guy.

"So are you going to tell me what that just was?" Kyuubi said as Itachi led her into an elevator that was only supposed to be used by the staff of the building, "Was he another contact?"

"No, I was lucky to have even one. How would I get two?" Itachi explained as if it were obvious that the man had just been a regular old security guard under Hanzo's command, "That was nothing more than a genjutsu."

"You pointed at one of them."

"Yes. Yes I did."

"You didn't even look at any of them when you did it, and you're telling me that's all it took for you to genjutsu those guys?"

"Yes, that's what I'm telling you."

"…Can you teach me how to-?"

"No."

"Aww."

The two lapsed into silence as Itachi hit a button inside of the elevator that began taking the two up. How Itachi was so calm and cool about walking into the building meant to serve as the office to the most powerful man in Amegakure, Kyuubi didn't know.

He noticed her looking over and up at him but didn't even raise an eyebrow in interest of finding out what she was looking at him for. Geez, did the guy care about anything going on around him at any given moment? She knew full well that Itachi Uchiha wasn't the kind of guy that just rolled with the punches, but damned if he didn't seem like it during every waking moment on this Earth.

"Itachi?" Kyuubi ventured to ask, "I'm only asking this because you're a friend and I worry about you, but are you on antidepressants or something?" It was just unnatural for someone to be that expressionless all of the time.

Itachi just stared at her for so long that she thought he'd used a genjutsu on her for asking a question like that, but eventually he answered. "Yes." He said, much to her surprise before he began idly listing things off on his fingers, "Paroxetine, Viloxazine, Clomipramine, Alprazolam and for the short term I'm on Lorazepam."

Wow.

"I… see." Kyuubi said, turning to face the front of the elevator while smacking her lips awkwardly at the topic that she'd been the one to bring up, "Well then. That kind of explains a lot doesn't it?"

"Indeed." Itachi agreed, letting silence fall once more before adding one more thing, "…One of the side-effects is that my bowel movements _destroy all._"

"Didn't really need to know that Itachi."

"No, no, if we're going to get into this we're getting into it all the way. I have my own bathroom at the police station because-."

"For the love of Inari, please stop. I was just asking you a question."

For fuck's sake, how long was that elevator ride going to take? And who could deliver all of that in the same old dulcet monotone? Was he trying to troll her on purpose? She couldn't tell because he never smiled and he said everything in the exact same way.

DING!

Oh thank goodness that was over. The doors couldn't open fast enough for Kyuubi. At least being in constant life-threatening danger wasn't as uncomfortable as that conversation just now had been. Why did every one of her boyfriend's older influences have to be unhinged in some manner or another?

Before she could even step out, the lobby of the floor they were on seemed to be filled with surly-looking mercs all trying to intimidate Kyuubi and Itachi. It was working a quarter of the way, "…That's like forty guys."

"We can't afford to make too large a ruckus with a battle." Itachi said calmly.

Kyuubi just channeled youki to her hands to form her claws, "I think it's kind of late for that."

Itachi shut his eyes and let out a great sigh, "I guess I have no choice. In order to make this quick and keep things low-key I'll have to use _that_ technique. One of my most forbidden jutsu." Forbidden jutsu? He was going to use something like that here? "I never wanted to use this."

Stepping out of the elevator into the crowd that he allowed to surround him, Itachi took all of the attention as the closed off around him and attacked him from behind. Kyuubi was unable to see what happened, but without warning, several men fell to the ground wheezing in pain with only the ruffle of Itachi's trench coat as a sign of anything.

"Get him!"

The horde descended upon the eldest Uchiha brother, engulfing him completely, but in a matter of moments the battle was over as they all fell away, clutching at themselves painfully, with Itachi crouched and holding the leg of the last man standing who had tried to kick at him.

The man was frozen, staring down into Itachi's Sharingan eyes, "…No, please don't."

"I'm sorry, you brought this upon yourself." Itachi said, "Forbidden Taijutsu: Lioncock." With a swift movement, Itachi's free hand shot up into the man's testicles once, twice, three-, no four times with rapid-fire accuracy, "Lioncock, Lioncock, Lioncock." Thus bringing him down and out of commission without argument. He didn't even have it in him to scream, as it was so high-pitched it came out as a squeak.

The same as all of the rest. And as he fell, Itachi remained in position with his arm still fully extended and shaking from the punch until he exhaled and stood back up.

Kyuubi was not impressed.

"That was it?" She asked, stepping out of the elevator with her hands on her hips, whipping her red hair around to survey the damage. All of the defeated fighters were holding their junk, "All you did was punch them in the privates."

"No, it's not just a shot to the groin. It's done in a very particular way for the maximum effect." Itachi argued, getting an eye-roll from the tanned teenage female. It wasn't worth getting into depth about.

Of course she wouldn't get it no matter how he explained it. It was a pain of which every other pain inflicted on the male person found itself compared to in severity, the only thing he knew of that could fell any man no matter the make without fail. It was a feeling indescribable to someone that could not relate, i.e. a figure of the feminine persuasion.

Unlike the pain of childbirth which was oft brought up whenever this argument came forth between representatives of the two sexes, receiving a blow the male genitalia was entirely unavoidable and no matter what would occur no minimum of several dozen times in the full life of any and every adult male, and it was the most feared injury that one could receive. Nothing was dreaded more, for good reason of course.

But it did not matter. It wasn't like he came up with it anyway either. He copied it from _her_ boyfriend after all, so she'd have to take it up with him.

Complete decimation of the building's security aside, that should have been more difficult, "Why was that so easy? Quantity over quality or something?"

"Exactly." Itachi said, "Hanzo doesn't trust anyone. If you're strong, expect to find yourself as far away from Hanzo as possible, which means that the best members of his PMC don't even reside in Ame. He's so paranoid he keeps the weakest people that he can under his direct control in the city."

It was somewhat effective since he usually had his very best in the field, giving his military a fearsome reputation, but if anything ever happened where he'd need more support than just himself things would get messy in a hurry. These guys couldn't stop a nosebleed with plugs and tissues, let alone Itachi.

That was the dirty secret of Kaisha Tekagi. If you could get past how imposing it was to get into the country and across the countryside itself to reach Ame, it was simple to do what you pleased. Just like a Gobstopper, if you went in deep enough things would eventually get soft… and it would change colors. That was a bad analogy, but the point still stood.

Anyway, they were in the building that was supposed to be Hanzo's headquarters, so it made just as much sense as anything.

Kyuubi walked behind Itachi as he seemed to walk with purpose, navigating his way around like he had the floor plan memorized. Since there was no such thing as a public record in Amegakure, once again she had no idea how he would have come across such a thing, but she'd learned to stop asking questions when it came to the secrets of scary people. It was better if she refrained from concerning herself with them.

She didn't really know what they were looking for. A tablet or something, but what was on it she didn't know. Itachi didn't know either, which was the entire point of the trip, "How does Idate know it's here? And why's it so important?"

"I paid him well." Itachi replied in defense of his intel source, "Idate may not be much for fighting, or much of a mercenary at all, but he was able to survive here without slipping up. After what happened to Naruto and Deidara you should recognize how significant that is."

Ugh, yeah. She didn't need to be reminded of that. They needed to finish this fast and get them out. She could feel Naruto's presence the miles and miles away that he happened to be if she tried to focus on the aura of his that she was used to, and thinking of her boyfriend getting shipped off to the most infamous prison in Amegakure gave her chills.

All of a sudden, Itachi's head craned in a certain direction and off he went, much to Kyuubi's surprise because it came with no warning or no apparent reason for doing so. She called after him but followed him through different corridors leading them past all sorts of weapons and-… hey, were they in an armory?

Wait. This building was Kaisha Tekagi's HQ wasn't it?

And Itachi didn't tell her? He didn't even care?

At least if Naruto or one of his insane friends did something like this they'd have the good grace to be somewhat intimidated about it. Either Itachi's anti-depressant kick rendered him incapable of sweating a mission that anyone else would have to write a will before taking, or he was just that badass.

She'd go ahead and wager that it was a healthy combination of the two.

Itachi walked straight through a wall like a ghost, almost getting Kyuubi to panic before the illusion over the wall dropped and she saw that it had been a genjutsu-hidden barrier… that Itachi had broken in a matter of seconds, "Itachi you're scary."

"I'm not so bad." He said as they walked up to a tablet that came up to their waists. His Sharingan had been on since the fight at the elevator, so he was already reading what he could of the tablet with it, "Yes, this is it."

Something about this whole thing didn't make sense, but Kyuubi never bothered bringing up until now, "Why would Hanzo have something that the Sharingan can read?"

"Well it's a funny thing." Itachi said as he moved his Sharingan up to the Mangekyou Sharingan, "I don't think it's meant for the Sharingan to read. At least not the kind that I have… because I can't even read everything on it." And here was the kicker, "…Hm, apparently I _am_ going to go blind if I keep using the Mangekyou."

"What? That's horrible!" Kyuubi exclaimed, putting a hand on Itachi's arm, "You're only what, 20?"

Itachi just looked over at her and held up his hands as if they were balance beams, "Well it's either go blind, or make Sasuke watch someone he loves die so he can get the Mangekyou and then implant his eyes, because according to this it's the only way to not go blind." Kyuubi just stood there with her mouth open wide in horror, "I know."

For several seconds she had nothing to say until she pinched her own cheek to make sure she'd heard correctly, "Your family's powers are really messed up." All he could do was nod, "Wait. You would have to take his eyes right?"

"Yes."

"Well stay with me here. If Sasuke ever gets the Mangekyou Sharingan, and let's hope not because that would really suck just for a power-up, how about you two just switch eyes or something?"

The two just stared at each other in silence before Itachi turned to look back at the tablet, apparently double-checking for something he might have missed in his first reading, "…It doesn't say we can't do that." Win-win, so neither of them would go blind. But Sasuke would still have to see something horrible enough to get the doujutsu evolution in the first place so still..., "Huh. Well mission over. Let's go back to Konoha."

As Itachi walked out of the hidden annex, to the Kaisha Tekagi armory, Kyuubi tried to read the tablet herself only to find that it was complete gibberish, "Wait, that's it? You just wanted to read it once? You're not gonna try to steal it so you can refer to it later?"

No, he wasn't going to do that. First of all, how was he going to get it out? Second of all, where the hell would he keep it at home? He didn't really want a tablet around his family that would tell them that watching loved ones die was the way to gain absurd levels of power.

…Not that he wanted to assume the worst of them like that, but you'd didn't dangle the fruit in front of a human being like that. Someone somewhere would take it.

Also, he was an officer of the law. He didn't steal. It was immoral.

DING!

The sound of the elevator reaching their floor again might as well have sounded like an explosion to the two of them for all that it meant. The base was intentionally undermanned per Hanzo's paranoia to keep anyone powerful away from him. The mercenaries inside of the city were one step above armed militia, which was why Itachi stupefied half and beat up the other half without blinking the whole time.

So that was good. Whoever came up, she or Itachi would just beat the crap out of them and be on their merry way.

And then the door opened and their worst nightmare stepped out.

A man with long blond hair reaching down his back wearing a strange black hat around his head with a respirator over his mouth. He had a scar on his face and wore a dark wetsuit-type uniform with a military vest over his chest.

He was all alone, but he didn't seem to care one bit whatsoever.

"You could break the barrier, but you can't break good old-fashioned technology." The man said as he drew a kusarigama from behind his back, sickle in one hand, the end of the chain in his other.

"I broke all of your guards as well." Itachi added, "How about that?"

"I consider them early-warning radar." The man said, and Kyuubi had to admit that his contrastingly dark eyes were rather freaky to look at, "If anyone can actually get into my country and get all the way here, at least I have plenty of time to react to the threat before it becomes a possible problem for me."

How callous.

"…It looks like you've become a problem to me." Hanzo continued, "Between you and the Akatsuki, I would much rather deal with a pair of ignorant children."

Itachi merely shut his eyes and smirked, "If you put some of your faith in others, perhaps this wouldn't be happening to you. But hindsight and all that." He moved a hand out and shoved Kyuubi away from him hard just in time to turn his own body to avoid Hanzo's chained sickle flying at the two of them.

Kyuubi twisted in the air and slid to a stop on the ground as Itachi and Hanzo began engaging one another, Itachi taking part in a deadly dance of avoidance in regards to Hanzo's limber and versatile weapon.

"Right." She said to herself in an attempt to ready herself to fight as she formed a pair of blue fireballs in her hands, "Never fought a dictator before. This one's goin' in the memoirs… if I don't die of course."

"Get to the street." Itachi demanded of her as he continued to battle with Hanzo, drawing a kunai to deflect the weighted end of the chain being sent at his head, "Find Naruto, find Deidara, prepare for extraction. I'll be along shortly." He'd already put down the entire security force of the building and this was the HQ! She'd be fine going it alone until she got outside, and from there if things turned south she had her own set of illusions to get her along.

The tanned redhead's fighting pride wasn't very strong while in Amegakure limits to begin with without even bringing up the possibility of fighting Hanzo of all people. Thus she readily disengaged and headed to the stairs since she didn't trust Hanzo not to do something like destroy the cables or something to either trap or kill her in the elevator.

From how quickly they were moving this battle was way above her level to contend with in anyway.

"Smart girl." Hanzo said after she'd departed down the stairwell, "I'd have broken off from you to destroy the elevator and kill her if she'd have taken it."

"I know your opinion of young people isn't the highest…" Itachi said with a grunt of effort as he continued to battle in close with the legendary warrior, "…But we're not all as dumb as popular television would make us seem at first glance."

"Says the man who broke into my PMC's headquarters at the center of my city and is currently engaged in a fight to the death with me. Indoors." Hanzo said behind his respirator as he clashed blades with the Uchiha standout, "You do know why I have the epitaph I do don't you? Of 'Salamander'?"

Itachi dully blinked for a second, forgetting the conflict he was in for a moment, "…Well when you put it that way-." Itachi abruptly kicked Hanzo away only for him to block it with his chain, but the point of it was to give Itachi some space to take off down the hallway, which he did without hesitation as Hanzo cackled.

"There's nowhere to run in here boy!" He made a few hand-seals before he removed the respirator from his mouth in order to spew out a deathly black cloud of poison, "Dokugiri (Poison Mist)!"

'Not good.' Itachi thought to himself as he ran as fast as he could to reach a clearer, safer area on the floor, 'If I breathe any of that in I'm dead in two days no matter what happens here.'

And it wouldn't be an easy, passing-quietly-into-the-night kind of death either. It would be a long, arduous, kicking and twitching, frothing from every orifice, crying for mommy, Black Jesus, or whatever-random-deity-you-could-think-of-at-the-ti me painful kind of death.

Where were the windows in this damn place!?

Eventually Itachi found a long hallway with an equally long window and quickly sent out his fist in a punch to destroy it only for his hand to bounce off of the glass harmlessly. Ugh, of course they wouldn't put in windows that wouldn't break that easily. He wouldn't have tried that in the police stations back in Konoha. Why the hell would he have done it here at an actual military facility?

All that had done was put him closer to the deadly poison gas that was going to fill the floor at this rate. He needed to find a to keep away from it for good. There would only be so many places to hide if Hanzo did the smart thing and just kept belting out gas.

Itachi had to keep his Sharingan on just for safety, to ensure that he wasn't running face-first into a poison-filled hallway. As long as it was coming from Hanzo he could see the chakra causing it to keep form in the air, and that was a good enough sign. He also held his breath for every turn of the corner until he could see that the way he was taking was safe to breathe in.

He came to a stop when he saw a whole hall littered with explosive tags. Yeah, he definitely wasn't going that way.

The choice almost wasn't his when Hanzo dropped down from a panel in the ceiling and tried to slice through Itachi from above. He missed, but seamlessly followed up on the surprise attack by kicking Itachi into the wall hard enough for him to crack it with his body.

His follow-up attempt to cut Itachi down made contact before the dark-haired man broke apart into a flock of crows that flew down the booby-trapped hallway, triggering the trap right before Hanzo's eyes, with Itachi nowhere in sight, 'Cheeky brat'

BOOM!

XxX

(Streets of Amegakure)

It was early in the evening, but with the rainy climate one couldn't tell. It was always pretty dark outside, and it was definitely still coming down full force. What a miserable climate.

Doing exactly what Itachi told her to, she went back out to the streets and began immediately following the feeling she had for locating Naruto while she began trying to pick up his exact location by using her phone prior to trying to call him, trying her best to keep it from getting too soaked.

The tracking function in the device let her know that he was outside and on the move as well. Thank goodness. Trying to break him out of a district jail before he was shipped off to political prison didn't exactly sound like the easiest thing to do.

Her feet carried her over the wet pavement as fast as she could run, kicking up puddles and mud… it didn't matter.

But there was something wrong.

Namely, that traffic had stopped dead in the streets. Not a soul seemed to remain in the vehicles littering the roads, and there was no one even walking along the sidewalks. A bit of terror ate at her heart as this seemed like the start to some kind of horror movie.

'Great.' She thought to herself as she started to advance more warily now, some sort of sixth sense tickling at the back of her mind, 'We're all separated, it's dark, and the streets are empty. I swear if there's a zombie around the next corner I'm gonna-."

"You."

Well wasn't the accompanying clap of thunder a tad ominous?

Turning abruptly she found a person standing on an adjacent corner. Just one lone individual. It was too dark to make out who they were aptly enough even if she squinted, at least until a flash of lightning lit up their form long enough for her to see them clad in a hooded black robe with red clouds.

Kyuubi's eyes dilated in shock. Any attempts to conceal her fright at this point simply didn't compute in her mind until she was able to think and calm herself, 'Okay, so what? So there's one guy… in an Akatsuki robe. It's still just one guy.'

At that moment, more began to move out from a storefront, all wearing those damned hooded robes, all of them apparently giving her their full attention.

Crap.

'Okay, so what?' She thought a bit more frantically now as the pace of her breaths began to pick up in anxiety, 'They can't tell I'm a half-demon unless I do something demony, or at least draw on some youki. As long as I don't do that I should be fi-.'

"You have been judged by God." What? "The verdict: demon spawn."

Kyuubi's jaw dropped in return of the sudden accusation. They weren't wrong… but that wasn't the point! How the hell were they supposed to know if she didn't make it obvious? "How are you going to just say something like that!? As if you can even tell that sort of thing!"

"Underneath the rain, your disguise is washed away by the will of our Gods."

The rain?

Oh man… it rained the day of the attack on the town that her family had lived in as well. Was that how they were able to tell? How would they even manage to make that work? Anything was possible in this world, she knew that full well, but to use the weather to sense the natures of people…

"This city is no longer a haven for your ilk." Another of the Akatsuki followers said, a young woman from the sound of her voice, "There's no way out for half-demons or the regime that propagated their existence amongst us."

"No." Kyuubi backed away with her claws drawn as more and more people filed onto the road from different places, "No-no-no-no-no. This isn't happening."

All alone, in the middle of Akatsuki's country of origin, with all of them looking at her, and they were advancing on her like poachers trying to corner and take down a tiger. Well much like a tiger, this kitten happened to have a perfectly good pair of claws on her.

Finally a pair of them lunged the rest of the necessary distance at her, pulling out short blades to stab and swing at her. Their misses were costly enough to result in them getting disemboweled by retaliatory swipes of her youki-hardened fingernails before they began to glow red, and not because of the blood.

"Fungeki Kiritsukeru (Fury Slash)!"

Two swings of her hands sent out ten thin red blades of energy in the form of five claw marks per hand that managed to cut down multitudes of the remaining Akatsuki followers. But where several fell, dozens began taking their places as they started filtering out of the buildings, all garbed in black robes and brandishing sharp weaponry.

This was how they killed so many of her loved ones. No matter how many would fall they would swarm their enemy until there was nothing left. Their numbers never seemed to run low. There was only one thing to do. Run. Killing them off wouldn't solve a thing. Escape. That was the only option. She had to find Naruto and escape, "Chouon Aigou (Supersonic Wail)!"

The resulting sonic yowl from the girl's throat devastated the eardrums and equilibrium of any and everyone within earshot, giving her a chance to try and run. She couldn't let them surround her. Not at any cost. The moment that they did it would be over.

She couldn't put enough distance between them as calls went up and rang out over the sound of the pending storm that there was one of 'them' loose in the streets, as if being of demonic descent made one animalistic in nature.

This city couldn't really be theirs could it? Sure, the streets in this district of Ame were pretty empty, but it was also raining cats and dogs outside.

Turning one corner in particular she drew to a stop at the sight of a Kaisha Tekagi PMC-run checkpoint set ablaze with the remnants of the post out front on their knees with their hands behind their heads and necks, captive by what had to be well over two hundred Akatsuki followers.

Kyuubi backed away and bit her lip. It would only be a matter of time before the ones already pursuing her caught up, and when you combined that with the ones right in front of her that hadn't noticed her yet and the number that would undoubtedly come her way from elsewhere, it wasn't looking good.

'I'm going to have to use _that_ jutsu if I even want to have a chance of getting out of this.' Her features began to grow a touch more feral as she prepared to do what was necessary to keep goin, "I'm not dying here. I am _not_ dying here!"

HONK HONK!

From the back of an approaching crowd of cultists, a Hummer indiscriminately plowed through them, forcing all others that didn't want to share the same fate to dive out of the way for dear life.

After crashing through the mob, it slid to a stop on the slick streets and the door was thrown open to reveal Naruto behind the wheel, "Okay, next time you tell me what you're scared of I won't take you to the place where they make them. I promise. Now come on!"

Kyuubi didn't need to be told twice to hop in as Naruto took off once more. It didn't matter which way he went as the streets were beginning to be choked with enemies. Fortunately the vehicle they were in had enough power to go over and through them in varyingly gory fashion depending on how brave or devout the Akatsuki members felt.

The dull thuds of bodies smashing off of the metal frame of the Hummer and the unmistakable crack of bone caused Kyuubi to cringe as Naruto kept going forward, "…I guess someone finally found a practical use for one of these douche-machines. How are you so good at this by the way?"

"Grand Theft Auto." Naruto said, focusing solely on the road, or more particularly the people trying to block his way, "Four games over the course of eight years have prepared me for this day; III, Vice City, San Andreas, and IV. This is like putting in the cheat that gives all of the non-playable characters weapons and then putting in the cheat that makes them all try to kill you on sight."

Kyuubi just looked at him blankly until a person impacted off of the windshield, leaving a bloodstain, "And you're perfectly alright with running down all of these people?" Naruto returned her look before rolling his eyes and slamming on the brakes, stopping the vehicle cold, "What the hell?"

"Oh I'm sorry, you were saying?" Naruto said sarcastically, "'Cuz they seem real sociable out there. Go ahead and try to reason with 'em."

"I'm the one that didn't want to come here in the first place!"

"Well I'm getting paid for this! And I thought this'd be good for you!"

"How is this good for me?" Kyuubi asked, gesturing to someone trying to stab through her window with a knife, "I've got a new thing to have night terrors about now because I'm actually living it!" She lowered it enough that she could start burning them away with Fox Fire before they actually busted in on her.

"You're not crying and shaking anymore at the thought of these pricks, so that's a start!" Naruto replied as his window was broken open. The first person that tried to grab him found themselves stabbed by the bowie knife he kept under his pant leg, and he had a fatal stab for anyone else ballsy enough to try and grab him, "Now are you alright with me running these sons of bitches down, or do you want to keep being all ethical about me killing the genocide people?"

"Foot on the pedal please!"

"Vehicular Manslaughter no Jutsu it is then!"

Kyuubi jerked back in her seat when Naruto took off again and muscled their vehicle through the surrounding crowd, some still hanging off of the Hummer as it drove along. Their grips didn't last however and they found themselves eventually breaking through and into open road, much to her relief, "Oh… oh goodness. I don't… I really hate you right now, but damn it you were right on time."

"Kyuu-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it wrong that I kind of want to have sex right now?"

"Eh. Not really. I kind of do too. Adrenaline I guess."

"…"

"…"

Kyuubi tried to relax and slow her heartbeat a bit before she had a fit, and actually managed to do a decent job of it when she noticed Naruto giving her a rather hungry look, "Why are you looking at me like that hon?"

"If I made a clone to drive, could we hop in the backseat really quick?" He couldn't be serious. He wanted to sidetrack and bang her now of all times? What was wrong with him? That couldn't have been a priority at the moment.

She wanted to look affronted, but really she'd just admitted not even two minutes prior that she was somewhat turned on as well. Probably some latent inherited demonic bloodlust or something. That was what she was willing to blame it on anyway, "…Whose car is this?" Changing the subject was probably the best idea.

"I don't know. I stole it, duh." Of course he did. He could have kept some of the pride he held about the fact out of his voice though, "Wait, who the hell is that?"

Standing dead-center in the middle of the street was one lone Akatsuki member with the hood of his robe down to show his droopy red hair that covered his eyes. Well it didn't matter who he was, because if he was really going to try and block an oncoming sports-utility vehicle of death that was already coated in the blood of others he'd get the same as everyone else.

"You're going to hit one guy?" Kyuubi asked, "That seems like a waste of time."

Naruto shook his head and turned the wheel enough to maneuver around him, "Nah, the GTA in me wants me to because he's right there, but there's no reason to. We don't have time for that do we? We've got to get to Deidara and the plane and get the hell out of here. Itachi's probably there by now."

'You were the one that wanted to have sex thirty seconds ago.' Kyuubi thought to herself, wondering why it was that when she thought she'd had Naruto figured out he changed things up on her.

In the street, Nagato watched as the vehicle came closer and closer before finally putting his hands up in front of his body and lifting his head, "Shinra Tensei (Heavenly Subjugation of the Omnipresent God)!"

The air rippled and whatever force was doing so expanded outward quickly and with supreme impact, as the front right of the Hummer folded inward like part of an accordion and flipped the whole thing over Nagato's head in one full rotation before landing back on the tires and skidding into the side of a building.

Naruto cut into the airbag after the crash had concluded, as Kyuubi had done to hers, but both were the victims of ringing skulls after the crash and a lack of understanding in regards to what had just occurred. They hadn't hit anything. Naruto had veered around the guy far enough that he couldn't even have tried to reach out an arm to make a grab or anything, even if he had been capable of stopping a speeding motor vehicle with his bare hands.

"Fuck…" Naruto muttered, bleeding from where he'd bitten his lip unintentionally, "What the… damn it. Are you alright?"

"I think." Kyuubi checked herself over. Nothing was in enough pain to qualify as being broken, but still. Looking out of the mirror she could see the guy that had been in the road slowly walking their way, "Naruto. That guy."

"Uh huh." Naruto didn't need to be told about it. He saw him too, and if he hadn't been good and pissed off about how his day was going beforehand, he certainly had ample reasoning to be now. Getting out into the rain, Naruto stood at the ready. In both hands he formed blue fireballs before hurling them both at his enemy, "Kitsune-bi (Fox Fire)!"

Nagato just lifted one hand and with a ripple of air he stopped the attack cold, "I'm not going to absorb your chakra. It's tainted anyway."

This guy could absorb chakra? Oh hell no.

The right arm of Nagato transformed into some kind of open cannon that seemed like something out of a movie, but he wasn't aiming it at Naruto. His eyes went wide when he realized that his aim was slightly averted to target the Hummer. The crack of the passenger side door flying open let him know that Kyuubi knew what was happening and had already bailed out.

Both of them scrambled away into the building they'd crashed into through the hole they'd punched into the front just as Nagato fired a powerful blast of chakra from his cannon that destroyed the vehicle in a massive explosion as the hordes of Akatsuki started streaming down the street at their own pace of running.

"Cyborg Ninja!" Naruto shouted in instinctual alarm, "What just happened?"

"That guy's arm turned into… I don't even know what to call that!" Kyuubi said as they'd reached the stairwell. After entering, both of them used fire and physical force to damage the area around the door and jam it from being opened before the clamored up the stairs, "How are we getting out of here?"

"Just get to the roof!" Naruto yelled as they both scrambled up the stairs, "It's always a good idea to go to the roof! That's what they do in all of the movies!"

"…People die in all of the movies!"

"Yeah, well they couldn't jump roofs could they?"

XxX

(Meanwhile – With Itachi – Kaisha Tekagi Central HQ Building)

Following the previous explosion inside, Itachi rocketed through the weakened ceiling of the building top floor and landed on the rooftop as smoke billowed out of the hole and every window down below that had been blown out.

That wasn't going to be enough and he knew it full well, so he was just anticipating what was to come next. It was all he could do. Gauging the distance between building rooftops didn't seem like jumping would bode well for Itachi. With the amount of land surrounding the HQ building, he was never going to clear that kind of distance to beat a hasty retreat.

Going down the side was an option, but there was no way he was going to get very far. His long-distance running had never been his strongest suit. Over the short range Itachi was damn near untouchable, he was so fast… how fast was he?

…Naruto would probably make some kind of lewd reference to sex and Itachi's 'endurance' with a girl. And then he'd reference his lack of 'stamina' with Sasuke listening and trying to hide the fact that he was snickering behind a frown, and then Itachi would beat them both up and call it training.

But back to the point at hand.

Itachi + short range = ghost. Long range however… well to put it in a certain way, there was a difference between distance runners and sprinters.

"You are very annoying." Hanzo said as he rose up out of smoky hole that Itachi had created, his respirator reattached to his mouth, "But you survived round one. Congratulations to you. The last time I fought anyone able to make me try and work was around twenty-seven years ago. I let them live, but I don't think I'll be giving you that same courtesy."

"How unfortunate for me." The rain-soaked Itachi said, creating a quick hand-seal with immediate effects, "Suiton: Suigadan (Water Release: Water Fang Bullet)!"

From the rain itself, Itachi created several spiraling masses of water with sharpened points, drilling through the air at Hanzo. He hit nothing but a dummy intended for Kawarimi no Jutsu and dove back and away as the roof beneath him began to give way.

As it broke through however, Itachi found himself in the mouth of a gigantic black salamander with Hanzo on top of its head as the Uchiha was engulfed by the summon creature's gigantic maw that had black plumes of poison emitting from it just from casual breathing.

"My black salamander Ibuse has the same poison in his body that I do in mine. There's no way out for you boy." Hanzo stated as he jumped down off of Ibuse's head and onto the roof again, "You made a mistake. I won't let that tablet be seen by the wrong eyes. I'm sorry, but if you lived there would be a chance that word would break of my possession of it."

"What would you be referring to exactly?"

Hanzo turned to a separate area of the roof where he found Itachi standing entirely unharmed, "How did you survive? No, how did you even escape."

"I was never trapped." Itachi said, making a tiger hand-seal, "Bunshin Daibakuha (Clone Great Explosion)."

Ibuse's head was promptly blown apart. Hanzo was stunned silent. This young upstart had just killed his favorite summon animal. He was avoiding his poisons, his traps, had sacked his HQ, was challenging him directly, and Hanzo wasn't even sure if Itachi had so much as blinked since the fight had begun.

As far as upstart punks went, this one was kind of creepy.

"Now." Itachi said, "Back to what you were saying before. What eyes were you trying to keep from seeing that tablet?" His question gave way to him revealing the Mangekyou Sharingan, "These eyes?"

"No boy." Hanzo said, wracking his brain on what to do next to handle this battle against the interloper, "While you do have a fine pair of powerful eyes, the ones I'm referring to are more commonly known in this country as the eyes of God."

"God you say?"

"No, I don't say. But others do. Those damned cultists."

"Akatsuki."

"You've heard of them?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow upon hearing of Hanzo's confusion as to how a foreigner knew too much about that group, "They've reached beyond the influence of your borders Hanzo."

"Hm. Well in that case it's said that amongst them is a man with the most powerful doujutsu in the world; the Rinnegan." Now that bit of information got Itachi to visibly react facially, "I see you're aware of what that means. That tablet is supposed to contain secrets that only that eye can see. I don't need my enemies being even more dangerous."

"Why not destroy it?"

"Why not ask me to destroy a different piece of world history then?" Hanzo snapped, "You of the outside world think me a callous tyrant. Well I ask you, would you rather have me in control, or would you see Amegakure with blasphemers that would worship mere men in power as Gods? Peace? Hah, those fools will bring hell on earth to this world were they to garner this country's resources." He reached up and unhooked the breathing apparatus from his face, letting it fall to the ground, "…This ends now."

"I agree." Itachi said, now completely willing to use Mangekyou Sharingan to battle this man, damage to his eyes be damned, "…What is this again?"

"Your execution." A blurry chain of hand-seals led to Hanzo creating a water technique from the rainfall around them. Not just one, but several towering dragons of water, surrounding the building on all sides, "You're very fast. But you forget who you're dealing with boy. There's a reason I am in control and have survived as long as I have at the top. Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Jutsu)!"

Itachi's eyes went wide as the dragons all swarmed around the rooftop before turning their direction inward, leaving him no degrees of escape, 'A mastery of water release to that level, to create not just one but multiple dragon constructs from the resource available… this is not good.'

He could only watch and try to prepare as they all crashed on him and obliterated an entire segment of rooftop, bringing a whole quarter of the HQ upper stories down like portions of a Jenga set. The entire place had almost been hit hard enough to come down at the foundations.

Hanzo stood strong as he devastated a big part of his PMC's HQ to kill this foe. It had been such a long time since he'd fought a battle, and there was absolutely no such thing as overkill. Not against this foe. He'd already proven to be extremely dangerous. Any enemy with powerful eyes… he wasn't going to take his chances with them.

"You certainly live up to your reputation Hanzo."

No. He couldn't be alive. He didn't dodge that jutsu in the slightest. Hanzo knew his aim was on. Itachi hadn't moved his feet before the dragons should have annihilated him from all sides. There should have been no way out without taking the long, long fall off of the roof to the ground below.

But up rose Itachi from the dust and debris, and surrounding his body from seemingly nothing was a giant ethereal, flaming armored samurai with two sets of arms joined at the elbow. It seemed like nothing he had ever faced on earth before, "…What the hell is this?"

"I don't even really train with this often." Itachi said as he slowly ambled toward Hanzo, the warrior surrounding him drawing a sword from its own energy, "It's rather dangerous. From reading the tablet I finally have a name for it though. Susanoo (He With the Ability to Help by All Means). Consider this my guardian deity."

Hanzo witnessed Itachi lift his arm in the air, forcing Susanoo to mirror the action before he brought the sword down with authoritative force. Hanzo didn't remain idle and dodged the downward stroke of the weapon itself, but when it sliced through the building it obliterated what was left of the upper level of the building, sending it all crashing down on the lower levels that remained, significantly weakened by all of the damage being dealt to it in such short order.

Pushing himself out of the wreckage, the leader of Ame stood up once again, completely unharmed by Susanoo's blistering attack power, "It's very clear that you know little of what you're doing with that whatever-it-is." He remarked, black mist oozing from his open mouth, "But you're not dead. No, I'm not fool enough to believe you've managed to kill yourself in your bid to end my life. Now let us finish th-."

The dusty cover from the pulverized portion of building cleared out and on the main path leading to the HQ itself, Hanzo could see thousands of men and women marching straight for them.

All wearing black robes with red clouds.

So it was finally happening. But… how did they get into his city with barely so much as a whimper? He had stations all over the outside. He had so many security checkpoints and Kaisha Tekagi posts in the city. What was the point if so many could make it here?

As he looked up at what he could see of his city he saw smoke in many areas rising up into the rainy skies. No, every last one happened to be locations of his city interior security measures. But if this was all happening at the same time, how many more around the city were performing these acts?

Impossible. Armies didn't exist any longer. They were obsolete. That was the reason PMCs had grown in prominence. Instead of using thousands of people as manpower you utilized a radically smaller but much more skilled force to do what needed to be done. It was more economical than maintaining a standing army.

There was no other explanation for the horde that strode to his HQ however. And none of his mercenaries were in sight.

Itachi had subdued the ones inside of the HQ, and if he hadn't the rest probably would have been killed when parts of the place started getting filled with poison, blown apart twice, and cut in half like a sandwich on the upper floors.

"You've brought all of this upon yourself." Itachi said as he spoke from behind Hanzo. The man turned to kill Itachi at a distance with his kusarigama, but missed and found himself staring straight into the eyes of one of the most dangerous men in Konoha.

The next thing he knew, he found himself in a blood red world with everything of substance in this world colored grey. His body was paralyzed and a portion of his outfit burned away on the left side of his abdomen, 'No, that's where the poison sac is located…' A wound was carved into his flesh and he dropped to his knees from the excruciating pain he was feeling inside of his body as a large black plume of poison cascaded out of the injury, 'What the-?' "AAAAAAHHH!"

"_For the next 72 hours you're in a world that is entirely under my control. This is the most powerful genjutsu in the world; __Tsukuyomi (Moon Reader)__."_

Hanzo fell to the ground, screaming in horror all the while, feeling as though something were scratching, biting, burning, burrowing its way out of his internal organs to free itself from his body. He was unable to move due to the rupturing of the black salamander poison sac in his body, and all he could do was endure, but it was the most horrible torment he'd ever felt in his life.

"_You're a shadow of your former self. Out of practice, with dulled skills."_ Itachi's voice spoke to him throughout the torment, _"Your abilities are still more than capable of dealing with most of the mercenaries in the world, but you were misfortunate enough to fight an enemy that was prepared for your very best. And this is not what you presented."_

After what seemed like an eternity, a large black salamander crawled out of the bloody mess that was his abdomen. Hanzo's breathing was heavy and labored, but when he blinked his eyes he was in the same position he'd started in, with the wound on his torso reforming, all of the pain from before retained and added upon as it all seemed to be happening again.

"_Only 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go."_

Back in the real world, Hanzo stood still in place, completely catatonic until he fell directly back off of the edge of what was left of the HQ and into the waiting throng of the Akatsuki horde completely willing to tear him asunder.

Itachi could only stare down at the spectacle that was the end of the life of Amegakure's former leader. What a way to go. It was actually more merciful than letting him last through the aftermath of Tsukuyomi, despite how brutal it looked to him standing up above it all.

A single tear of blood rolled down from his left eye until he wondered exactly what he was going to do to get himself out of there. His body was rather taxed from the battle, and these numbers were too great for him to take on under normal circumstances, let alone after all of the chakra he'd spent in battling Hanzo.

This wasn't something he had to worry too much about though, as a large grey clay bird streaked down from the sky and picked him up in its talons to carry him away as the members of Akatsuki started flooding the HQ building from below.

Good old Deidara.

…Hopefully this clay bird wouldn't explode.

XxX

(With Naruto – Elsewhere in Amegakure)

Naruto managed to make it up to the roof before barring the way back down for when the hordes started ascending the stairs to seek them out. Naruto wiped a smidge of blood away from his face and looked around at their surroundings.

This wasn't bad. Well… it wasn't as bad as it could have been. At least they could hop roofs to stay away if they had to. Pulling his goggles down around his eyes for a moment Naruto navigated to the map feature to find that they still had a long way to go to get to the extraction point.

For now they had to put some distance between themselves and the guy with the cannon arm thing that could kill them with gravity. That wasn't particularly someone that they wanted to fight.

After jumping several gaps to different buildings he and Kyuubi stopped to take an account of their situation, "Okay, we're stuck in the middle of a city that's getting overrun by demon-killing cultists, I have no idea how we're gonna get to our ride out of here, and Itachi's stuck fighting Hanzo."

"You know…" Kyuubi said, sitting down for a moment on an air conditioning vent that would have run down into the building they were on, "When you told me that bad things happen most of the times when you leave Hi no Kuni, I thought it was just coincidence. But you really might be the cursed traveler or something."

Naruto just stared at her for several seconds before pulling out his phone and going to the voice record feature, "Note to self: remember to add 'The Cursed Traveler' to your list of nicknames and handles when you get back home to base." With that all-important information recorded for posterity, it was time to keep going.

They could really only spare just so long in one place before it became too dangerous. Apparently being caught in the rain let the bad guys know where their position was. Naruto had found that out before he'd managed to steal a car, something that had originally been done to get him out of the rain but allow him to keep moving to begin with.

As it stood, things were pretty bad, even though they were seemingly safe for the time being. Dwelling on the current situation wasn't going to fix what was wrong with it though, and all of this would go away the second they were high in the air flying back out of this death trap of a country.

Extending a hand to his lady, Naruto helped her back onto her feet with a frown, "I'm sorry Kyuu. I wanted to show you that these guys weren't as scary as you thought they were now that you're older, but now…"

"It's okay." Kyuubi assured him in return, "I mean, yes this is my nightmare and everything, but it could be worse." Upon seeing Naruto raise an eyebrow at wondering just how this could be worse she bid him a dazzling little smile, "I could be all by myself dealing with this."

The waterlogged blond gave the redhead's hand a squeeze and moved to kiss her until their respective senses of awareness were triggered by a man's Shunshin as he appeared nearby, clapping slowly.

"I've got to admit." A man with spiky orange hair said as he slowly walked around the rooftop, wearing an Akatsuki robe with a rather large sword bandaged around the handle. There was something different about this one from the rest though. He didn't seem to be part of the mob mentality, "For a pair of brat half-demons it was kind of impressive watching you two run amok all over the city for as long as you have."

Both kids stood at the ready to fight as Kyuubi bared her teeth to the threat, "What do you mean you've been watching us?"

The man just grinned and snapped his fingers before the rainfall abruptly came to a stop, "Like that." He said, much to the concern of Naruto and Kyuubi as to who they were facing. The guy could control the weather? "Ukojizai no Jutsu (Rain Tiger At Will Jutsu). It was always my dream to stop the rain in Amegakure. Now I can control it and put it to some use." His grin then fell abruptly, "Scouring my city for things like _you_."

"I am so tired of you guys." Naruto said, brandishing his already bloody oversized bowie knife to fight with, "Seriously, this place sucked enough dealing with Kaisha Tekagi, but at least they weren't racist to us about it."

"And I am so tired of you trash saying the same damn thing about Akatsuki being racist. We openly welcome humans of all races and nationalities. It's just that the buck stops when your blood is muddled with demonic taint." The orange-haired man's blue eyes seemed to be boring a hole straight through Naruto, "You're worse than your girlfriend is. As much of a blight to the world as she is, at least she's a half-demon naturally. You're totally artificial."

"What the hell does that mean, 'artificial'?"

"Fake. Not real. Unnatural. Manufactured. Whatever goddamn synonym you want me to use brat!" The man bellowed at him, "You're a human that was _turned_ _into_ a half-demon before birth! You're a crime against nature."

Naruto turned his head to Kyuubi with an alarmed look on his face, "Is that even possible?"

"I… I don't know." She admitted with some trouble, "It would explain why there was always something that felt off about your youki concentration. It didn't feel natural. But I have no idea how anyone would…" She turned her attention and anger to their enemy, "You! How would anybody even create a half-demon?"

"I don't know." He said with hate in his eyes, "All I know about you monsters is that before birth, it's the only time that a human can be converted into one of you. Maybe his mother is just nothing but a filthy-." He was cut off by a yellow-topped blur barreling forth to stab him, only for the man to block the attack by drawing the sword on his back, "…Mine's bigger kid."

With a step forward and a push on the back of his weapon he shoved Naruto away with force, causing him to land on the ground back at Kyuubi's side, "I'll kill you if you talk about my mom like that!" Naruto lifted his head to reveal glowing red, slitted eyes underneath his soaked bangs, "Don't you even START to say anything about either of my parents again!"

A flapping of wings gave way to a blue-haired woman flying over the side of the building and landing at the side of the orange-haired man just before things could get heated up, "Konan." He greeted warmly, "Look what I found."

"I can see." The blue-haired woman, Konan, said in return, a stern look on her face as she lifted her hand causing paper to float from the openings in her robe and dance around her body at the sight of Naruto radiating youki, "Yahiko, shall I-?"

"No." The man said, planting the top of his large sword into the roof to walk past it, "I want to handle this myself. I haven't had a workout in quite a while what with being in Dead Bolt Canyon and all. Let me see what our fake half-demon here actually has up his sleeve." As he walked forward he opened is arms as if beckoning Naruto to attack him, "That can't be all you've got. What a waste of a tainted pregnancy if you can't go any further than that."

Fine. If that was how he wanted it, Naruto had no problems obliging him, "Big mistake asshole." His hair began to whiten and grow as two small tufts formed on top of his head, an apparently painful transformation as Naruto clenched his teeth throughout the process, but once it was done his voice was harsher and his facial features were rougher, **"Last mistake too."**

Yahiko watched Naruto's form blur from sight until he reappeared right behind him in the air, fist cocked to deliver a rabbit punch from hell. He merely lifted his arms behind his head and neck to block the punch, however it had the force to send the two of them straight through the roof beneath them.

Kyuubi covered her face to keep the debris of the damaged surface from getting into her eyes or harming her face, but soon found herself alone on the roof with Konan. Prepared to fight her way through her as well she was preempted from attacking by another portion of the roof exploding outward in blue fire, with Naruto and Yahiko flying back out through it, "Naruto!"

Every time Naruto went for the throat, it was a miss. At this point it seemed like Yahiko was just sitting back and watching him try to make a fool of himself as he hadn't tried to attack back yet.

One claw strike came close enough to cut through part of Yahiko's robe, but still no contact came with the man himself.

With three quick hand-seals, the complexion of the fight changed quickly however, "Suiton: Mizurappa (Water Release: Wild Water Wave)!" Yahiko spewed water from his mouth as if someone had turned a fire hose on full blast, with the exact same speed and force as one, punishing Naruto right in the chest and shooting him back off of the roof and onto another where he crashed through a shanty little bird coop, "You fight like a monster. But what good's all of that power if you can't control it enough to hit me?"

Forming a pair of fireballs in her hands, Kyuubi found her aim of Yahiko's back obscured by Konan who moved straight into her path with her paper wings, "By the will of God, you and the other have to die here, just like the rest."

Instead of launching the fireballs, Kyuubi started tapping into her own demonic energy supply to a full-body degree before touching her own skin with the Kitsune-bi and allowing it to fully engulf and cover her, "Kitsune-hi no Jisshi (Embodiment of Fox Fire)!"

"Of course a demon can't be burned by its own flames." Konan remarked as an untold number of paper sheets came from within her clothing and even the clothing and her skin seemed as if it were all layered paper, "Shikigami no Mai (Dance of the Formula Paper)." With guided force she sent thousands of sheets straight at her enemy as she charged to attack.

Kyuubi found herself actually being driven back by the thousands of sheets of paper impacting off of her at a rate of machine-gun fire. The only thing that kept them from sticking and doing more damage was the fact that they were incinerated on contact.

'This isn't working! I can't hold this form without burning myself for long!' Well she had a nasty surprise if Konan figured that covering her body in fire was the only thing that this technique could do, "Grah!" With a massive forward push of her energy she sent forth a gigantic construct of fire in the shape of a humanoid body.

Gasping as her body was engulfed in the fire, she began to crinkle and turn to charred debris before a series of explosive tags could be found inside of the body that was burning away. One quick detonation later and Kyuubi was blown away by the force of the trap.

After her small form slid to a stop on the roof she was able to catch a glimpse of the last dregs of what was supposed to have been Konan burning down, 'But it looked like her whole body was paper…' What better way to replace oneself with a clone comprised of the exact same material, 'My boyfriend uses clones… I should have known better.' It had been too easy, even if she'd been using her strongest attack jutsu at the time. Nothing was ever that direct.

Had it not been for the body fortifying abilities she possessed from training that would have wound up being much worse than it actually turned out to be.

"Even most of your ilk can't take a direct blast from an explosive tag." Konan commented, lowering herself from the sky with her wings.

"Most half-demons aren't trained to fight like half-demons." Kyuubi said with a grit to her teeth as she got back up, "We're not that different… from regular humans. We just inherently have access to power that humans have to train properly to get. We still have to train to use it correctly."

An untrained half-demon was nothing more than an above-average human civilian. They could be faster, stronger, utilize their body composition in odd ways, and have affinities for certain elements beyond simple elemental manipulation, but what made them any more so like monsters to people like Akatsuki than those with kekkei genkai or things of that nature?

She already knew why. Before the explosion of the mercenary age back around the turn of the 20th century, the most powerful warriors in the world, the lynchpin of all armies the world over were of demonic descent, and per their nature they reveled in the combat and the bloodshed, garnering them a horrible reputation over the past centuries. But as the amount of well-trained humans increased, with many garnering the skill to nullify the inherent natural advantage that most half-demon soldiers possessed.

Kyuubi couldn't even say that her family wasn't similar. They were. They had been a military family until the bubble sort of burst, and things turned sour on that front in the early parts of the 20th century. Advancements in the more mystical arts took them down several pegs and they bowed out of that kind of life.

Practices of powerful half-demon warriors still dragged on in more warfare-centric nations where the power of PMCs hadn't caught up yet however, such as the wartorn civil war days before Hanzo took firm command of the country that Amegakure was in. After taking full control with his own force of Kaisha Tekgai and stanching out the constant fighting he locked the region down, which led to the current order of things.

That was modern history, and everyone that paid decent attention in a world history class in high school knew that much.

Apparently there were those that had not forgotten the barbarism of the old days that in reality weren't that long ago, and they were the people that stood before them now; the Akatsuki.

"Not so different?" Konan asked rhetorically, firing several paper shuriken from her sleeves that Kyuubi blocked with swings of her clawed hands, "Yes, not so different now when the playing field has been leveled. But what about before then? If there was a massacre, if there was any act of human atrocity that seemed like an impossible occurrence between two equal strength military forces it was one of _you_ at the center of it all. A century ago the status quo was broken, and those of you that wouldn't let it die took your disgusting bloodlust here to sate it."

"IT WASN'T _EVERY_ HALF-DEMON IN THE WORLD!"

"IT WAS ENOUGH THAT YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW OTHERWISE!" Konan screamed back in return before regaining her composure, "This isn't a fantasy world, where you can oppress someone forever, and the moment that the balance has shifted all can be forgiven. What's to stop it from happening again? You two have shown it here. You're cultivating your tainted abilities for battle, and if you were allowed to rise back to the top the world might not survive again."

The entire time, Yahiko had been listening and had come back over to Konan and Kyuubi's rooftop, "It's not enough to make you all see just what you've put humankind through for hundreds of years. No, your kind won't understand eye for an eye. Hurting you the way your hurt us won't do it. I'm going to change this world. I'm going to save it, by getting rid of every last one of you, no matter who gets in the way. I'm going to rule this world, and bring peace by ridding it of catalysts from hell that kept it in chaos for centuries. I'll be the God it deserves."

**"BULLSHIT!"**

Throwing tons of debris from the shanty he'd crashed through off of his body, Naruto was seething, bleeding, and angry. In his enhanced state he'd managed to hear every word of Yahiko and Konan's spiel, and it made him sick. He killed people, sure, but it had never been because of their race, nationality, anything that could categorize them. Nor did he ever try to justify anyone's death.

He was a bastard, and probably a horrible person, but at least he wasn't a hypocrite about it.

Red energy radiated off of his body and mixed with the light rain to let off a red steam into the air all around him. His fingers were clenched into fists hard enough to cut his palms deeply with his claws, causing blood to drip down to the ground like a loose faucet.

**"This isn't for peace!"** Naruto yelled at them, spittle flying from his mouth, **"You're gonna ethnically cleanse the world because you're pissed off that when everyone else was getting their country in order yours stayed a wartorn shithole! Just say THAT!"**

Yahiko narrowed his eyes dangerously at Naruto, "…Remember what you said about me not talking about your fucking parents kid? Well the same goes for my country. If you ever say anything like that about my country again I'll cut out your heart and keep you alive long enough to watch me force your girlfriend to eat it like the mongrel she is. Then I'll put the video on the internet."

Naruto just shook his head and lowered his gaze angrily, **"Fuck you, fuck Akatsuki, fuck Amegakure with its useless fucking PMC that can't stop a nosebleed! Fuck your stupid sob story! Fuck this country! As a matter of fact…"** Naruto took a deep breath as the red energy around him began to form up into an unstable-looking ball hovering in the air in front of his mouth, the size of his head that he grabbed and compressed with his bare hands,** "…Fuck everything in your general direction! Imari (Menacing Ball)!"**

With a forceful push of his hands, the attack was ready to be shot off like a bolt of lightning. As he gathered the power for it, Yahiko and Konan went wide-eyed, knowing without even needing to see the effects of it that it would be a blockbuster of a technique, 'That attack could kill everyone standing here!'

Even Kyuubi was completely unaware that Naruto had that kind of power at his disposal, 'That Imari has more power behind it than dad's ever did!'

But it made sense. He had more chakra under normal circumstances than most anyone else she'd ever met, and when it was converted into youki it was more than hers, her father's, her mother's, all combined. And he was about to shoot it straight down those pricks throats.

Until in a sudden happening, the red-haired man from down on the street made his appearance and grabbed Naruto's arm prior to his release of the Imari. All of a sudden, Naruto felt left out in the cold. His awesome feeling of limitless power felt like someone had shut off the tap, or had at least diverted the flow elsewhere.

A look of relief washed over Yahiko's face at his redheaded comrade's appearance. There probably would have been absolutely no way to get through Naruto's attack unscathed if they even survived it at all, "Someone knows how to make an entrance Nagato." He said, heaving a grateful sigh, "Rinnegan for the save."

"Don't fight it." Nagato said to Naruto as he could feel the boy trying to build more youki back up. There was a clear, and visible barrier around both of their bodies as this all happened, "Fuujutsu Kyuuin (Blocking Technique Absorption Seal) would drain you dry under normal circumstances, but I don't want anything to do with your filthy chakra."

Nagato let go of Naruto's arm after it was clear that he'd stopped the Imari only for Naruto to form a red Rasengan in his free hand to try and slam into him. Once again, this was ineffective and an annoyed Nagato lifted one hand in Naruto's face, "Shinra Tensei (Heavenly Subjugation of the Omnipresent God)!"

After a bloody impact with the force of gravity, his body was shot without surcease across the sky, four buildings away where he smashed into a water tower. It was dented it with his body hard enough to spring a leak in it. He bounced off and hit the ground face-first, immediately dragging his claws through the surface in pain as he left a red stain beneath him, **"Geh…"**

"Haha!" Yahiko cheered, hand up in the air as if he were waiting for a high-five from Nagato who was already on his way over, "And that's why you're the 'Eyes of God' my man! Perfect support for the man that's gonna be the omniscent God in myself right?"

**"God my ass."** Naruto muttered, facedown in the ground, **"I'll be damned if anyone worships you, least of all me. I won't worship any omniscient God. The only thing I'll worship is the omniscient log."**

"Well nobody asked you, and no one cares if you worship us or not." Yahiko said as he walked over to grab his sword, "Now I'm a God of my word, so I'll have to keep that promise of making you watch me make your girlfriend eat your heart. Luckily Nagato can keep you alive long enough to make that kind of thing happen."

Before he could get close enough to the sword to pull it out of the roof he found himself walking backwards instead of forward, much to his confusion. And it wasn't just for him either. Nagato started moving backwards as well, and Konan was moving the wrong arm in the wrong direction when she tried to reach out for them.

What the hell was going on?

As all of this had happened, no one noticed that Kyuubi had replaced herself with a demonic version of the Substitution; a will-of-the-wisp keeping a spectral image of her around a fiery core that was the center of the illusion.

"Unmei no Gyakuten (Reversal of Fortune)." Kyuubi said to Naruto as she was able to help him stand back up, slinging one of his arms around her neck to keep him on his feet, "Anything they try to do is going to end up being the exact opposite action until they break the genjutsu." She whispered as she started helping him limp along to make their escape, "That's not going to last for long."

**"If it's not gonna last drop me and run."** Naruto complained. How far did she think they would get if she had to assist him over every gap they had to jump, **"I think they broke my back. I'm no good to you on the run Kyuu-chan."**

"You're no good to me dead either, now shut up and focus on hopping these spaces." She said, shooting her eyes behind them to see that the devilishly strong trio was still where she'd left them, "Do you really want to die here all alone like that?" Parts of Naruto's upper body were exposed, and for the first time she saw the odd black markings that went with his ascended form, 'What are those? Dad doesn't have those in his ascended state, so why does Naruto?'

**"…Babe you don't get it."** Naruto said, trying to work out how much fight he had left in his body. Nagato's last attack had shredded most of the poncho and shirt that he had on underneath. The lenses on his goggles were shattered, and he was fairly certain he had no balancing stability in his left leg, hence his need to rely on Kyuubi to stand, **"There are only two reasons I've had to want to be strong. One was to make enough money to live like I was upper-class for once. I didn't get the other until a few months ago, and that-."**

"Banshou Ten'in (Heavenly Attraction of All Creation)!"

Both of them suddenly found their bodies jerked violently through the air back from whence they came until they were close enough for Yahiko to violently backhand Kyuubi away and for Nagato to grab Naruto by the neck.

"Nice try." Yahiko growled out, "Not good enough though."

Nagato just held Naruto at eye level as he squeezed the life out of him. He couldn't generate chakra due to Nagato's ability which meant that Fox Skin Hardening wasn't working. Just as soon as Nagato figured out how much pressure he had to add, his neck would snap like a twig.

All the while he was facing the deadest stare with those strange purple, ripple-patterned eyes he'd ever seen. It was as if the lights were on but no one was home. Was he killing his feelings to kill him?

Either way, Naruto had to do something. As his face turned red from lack of oxygen, Naruto's mouth seemed to rustle around before he made a sharp movement with it and winced badly just prior to spraying a fine mist of his own blood from his mouth into Nagato's eyes.

For someone whose power stemmed from his eyes, this was worst-case scenario, and he dropped Naruto to instantly rub at them and try to clear them. The most divine thing about him had been tainted! Tainted by the blood of a fallen!

This got Konan and Yahiko's attention as Nagato wailed about it, thus they missed the incoming assortment of winged clay creations that dove from the sky and hit the rooftop, peppering it in explosion after explosion.

In the midst of this, a large clay bird with one Itachi Uchiha on its back swept down and snatched up the half-demon couple. Its takeoff was swift, making sure to get the hell out of there before the smoke cleared and the barrage stopped.

Eventually the multitude of blasts brought the small building down around the foundations in a heap.

XxX

From above where Deidara was circling with his plane while his clay bird with Itachi on it picked up the youngest pair of the expedition he grinned widely at the sight of his meticulous assault. And from how the bird was getting nearer to the plane it was quite clear that he'd managed to do enough to salvage the situation.

This was cause for celebration.

From the mouths on his palms he let loose multiple airborne clay explosives that flew around his own plane and exploded in a firework-like display as he waited for Itachi to get close enough for him to open the door, "All! Night! Long, un!" He shouted loudly over the plane's speaker system, "My daily schedule: wake up, blow shit up, be awesome! How artistic was _that_!?"

The bird managed to get near enough that when the door was thrown open Itachi was able to throw Naruto in and then assist Kyuubi in jumping into the plane before heading in himself. Immediately they had pulled Naruto up into the seat instead of letting him lay out in the aisle.

"Come on Naru-kun." Kyuubi said, prompting him to lay against her for further support as his ascended form had worn off, as did his strange black markings that had been on his body, "You're gonna be fine."

"Gaara did me worse than this, Kakuzu did me worse than this. Compared to those I'm alright." Naruto said, wincing as he felt his back crack upon trying to move even a bit in place, "Those people… were those the three leader guys you were talking about?"

"That one man had the Rinnegan." Itachi pointed out, remembering with a frown what Hanzo had said about it, "The eyes of God…"

"They're _not_ Gods." Naruto stressed harshly despite his condition, beginning to doze off from the adrenaline wearing off and the mounting injuries, "…Not God. Just… just…" He lapsed into silence without finishing his statement and shut his eyes.

Deidara peered back in the seat for a split second to see what was up before returning his attention to flying the plane, "Is he dead?" From the sound of his voice it didn't bother him one way or another. He was just curious really.

"No." Itachi said, "Not even close, just rather beaten. I think we all are."

"I'm not."

"You didn't fight anyone."

"I fought plenty. I just fought a bunch of jabronies instead of people that were good, un."

"…Just take us back to Konoha."

"You're the boss-man."

XxX

(Back Down on the Ground)

The volley of explosions had turned the battleground of a rooftop and portions of surrounding infrastructure into rubble. But at the center, the trio of Akatsuki looked mostly unscathed due to their own respective abilities in some way, shape, or form, just looking at the vanishing aircraft in the sky flying farther away from them.

How annoying could a person be, to fly in and escape with their prey at the last second like that?

But they'd gotten a glimpse of the person riding on the back of the big clay bird that had whisked their prey out of their clutches. The Akatsuki had seen plenty of those kinds of eyes in one place before from the family known as Uchiha, but it hadn't been for over fifteen years; the last time they'd been in Konoha.

The night that the previous Hokage had been killed.

As a matter of fact, before that disgusting half-demon brat transformed he looked a lot like the last Hokage did, which was odd because neither the Yondaime nor his wife were of that breed. Perhaps the appearance was just coincidence. It wasn't like they were the only blond, blue-eyed people in the world.

There wasn't a lot of time to dwell on this however as the mass of followers that comprised the bulk of Akatsuki wound up wandering down the street that they were on to get a glimpse of the Gods post-battle, victorious.

"People!" Yahiko shouted, voice booming as if it could be heard all over the city, "Amegakure is ours!" A cheer that could have shaken the sky rang itself raised from the thousands and thousands, "Take pride! That great first step to enacting a new world is complete! The seat of the bloodshed has been settled as our chosen land, our home, and now it is ours to cleanse of the demonic taint that has poisoned the land we love for so long!"

Never being much for public speaking, it was a testament to how emboldened Nagato himself even felt at Yahiko's words that he contributed to the speech as well, "This is only just the beginning! There is still much work to be done, in nations all over the world, but for now rejoice! Our land is now back in the hands of those that love and cherish it once more! From this day forward, Amegakure will be the holy capital of the divine empire of the Akatsuki! And you are all subjects underneath God's chosen nation to lead the way!"

As the roars of approval went up even louder than before, Konan and Yahiko looked on the wallflower of their group with a measure of pride. On the night of their greatest victory thus far, he was finally embracing their destined place as beings that had evolving, both in power and philosophy, beyond what was to be meant for mortal men and women.

And their followers all believed and would go with them into the gates of hell if need be.

That wouldn't be necessary though. Apparently they hadn't finished the job fifteen years ago when they had been allowed to infiltrate and sack Konoha in more… modest times. Apparently their lack of overall manpower back then kept them from being anywhere near as thorough with their purge as they would have liked.

Fortunately though, people outside of Akatsuki still believed it to have been a citywide riot.

Finishing the job they'd started in that city would have to wait for later though, until they had settled things at home and found their next more logical target for their divine intervention. Their crusade had just begun.

* * *

**And the arc in Amegakure is complete. Itachi's is still a BAMF, Deidara is clinically insane but to be fair who in this story isn't? Hanzo's empire has fallen into the hands of zealots… so we've got that going on. Ain't nothing like a good devout cult to freak you out a bit eh?**

**Alright, now back to the actual grind of trying to finish my brush with higher education. Three weeks left for God's sake… if I even pass.**

**Enough about me though. You've got what you came for, so feel free to depart at your leisure my niche readers.**

**Kenchi out.**


	47. The Blank Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Damn it DevilJin17, you glorious bastard. Do you know how much time you made me waste the other day? Do you know how little I care about the time wasted with your incredible gift?

I have never done nothing for such a long stretch of time so gleefully in my entire life.

**Chapter 47: The Blank Night**

* * *

"Mission accomplished." Naruto said, with a satisfied, close-eyed look on his face. His body was covered with the medically treated wounds he'd suffered as a result of Akatsuki's violence and the power of their top 3 leaders.

A bedpan flew past his head at horrifying speeds and destroyed the wall of the observation room he'd been inside of.

Three guesses as to the culprit.

Shizune stood just out of Tsunade's reach just in case, as she had been the one to make sure that Naruto's injuries were properly treated and would heal well enough over time, but Tsunade had come stomping down the hall and into the room upon finding out that he'd returned to base.

Truthfully, Naruto had tried to run the moment he saw the water in the glass next to the observation bed begin to shake, but Shizune had stopped him from leaving so that she could finish her checkup on him. All that left him from that point was blank-faced bravado, and he used it.

The dark-haired doctor was beginning to wonder if she should have let him run.

…No, she did the right thing by making him stay. If she let him run and Tsunade realized that he'd done so, more things would have gotten destroyed than just a wall. Some drywall work and a coat of paint would fix that right up.

"I'm calm." Tsunade said in a shaky voice before trying to give her best impression of a loving parental figure, "Naruto, honey, do you have any idea how dangerous that mission you just went on was?"

Yes. Yes he did. Now. In hindsight.

In fact, it was so dangerous it was now the new measuring stick that every other mission from that point forward would be compared to on his personal holy-shit scale. The scale now topped out at Akatsuki.

"You read my report right?" Naruto asked, finding quiet, docile, sweet Tsunade infinitely scarier than when she was yelling, throwing things, and possibly foaming at the mouth from rage, "…I might have undersold how dangerous it was."

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched as if something inside had snapped, "What the hell do you mean you undersold it?"

"There was only the front and the back of the form to write on! I had to cut some stuff out!"

"That's when you get another form and write on _it_! As many as you need until you get the point across!"

"Ohhhh." Naruto said in late realization, squinting his eyes at Tsunade, "That makes sense. How else would people be able to write good reports on two month missions if they only had one full page to sum it up on? You're really smart Tsunade-baa."

Tsunade felt a big chunk of her fury shrivel up inside, "I-. You-. I can't believe this is-. You're such a-." Between the worry he put in her heart and the fact that he was so goddamned stupid when it came to not knowing just how worried he made her, he might have broken something inside of her, "…Did someone drop you when you were a baby?"

Shizune edged her way carefully to the door after that question was raised.

Naruto also took that as his cue to vamoose, "Right." If Tsunade had fried some circuits, that was probably the best chance he was going to ever have to get away without getting chewed out for taking a dangerous mission like the one to Amegakure, "I'm gonna go now and think about what I did… or whatever it is you wanted me to do about it."

XxX

(Hours Later – Naruto's Penthouse Apartment)

"I fail to see how you're even walking around right now if you sustained that sort of a beating Uzumaki-san." Shino said as he rode on the elevator up to the top floor of the property that his family owned and Naruto resided in, "Medical ninjutsu or not, you tore your anterior cruciate ligament. That can't be healthy to put weight on so soon."

"I've got a knee brace." Naruto replied with a shrug, "I couldn't stay in there any longer. I'm just lucky that Kakashi and Rin were on an assignment too, because if Tsunade-baa was about to kick my butt over what happened, Rin would be all passive-aggressive about it. Ugh, I'd rather get yelled at honestly."

"Hence why you refrained from remaining at your headquarters."

"Ah, you." Naruto said, wagging his finger in Shino's direction. "You're catching on. You come off all antisocial, but there's a social butterfly inside of you just waiting to come out. Just wait 'til school starts back up. I'll get you set up no doubt."

Shino stoically adjusted the sunglasses on his face in return, his face quirking slightly at Naruto's choice of using an insect-related term, "I would rather Uchiha-san be the one to facilitate that if it's seen as particularly necessary."

"What? Why?" As far as Naruto was concerned, Sasuke was a good friend, but all he was good for aside from scowling and attracting girls with his pretty-boy style of brooding was if you wanted to learn how to dabble in pyromania.

He was very good at setting things on fire, and if you paid attention to his face when he did it he took glee in it.

"Circle of friends aside, you're not particularly popular."

"…That's hurtful Shino."

"It doesn't make it any less truthful though."

As they reached the top floor and the doors opened, Naruto could see through his elevator gate that there was someone not named Sasuke sitting on the couch in his spacious living room watching his TV and ripping off his snacks. Naruto couldn't have unlocked the gate fast enough to get in there and raise hell.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa what the fuck?" Naruto said, stepping into the living room to find a slightly larger young man with spiky brown hair, hooligan-like clothing, and a confused look on his face in his chair, "Who are you, why are you in my house, and why am I not stabbing you yet?"

"…Because subconsciously you know I'm Kankuro?"

"Oh." Naruto said, picturing Kankuro looking like a gang member in Suna. So he still wore clothes that made him look like a hood, "You freaked me out wearing all of that stuff that makes you look like you're about to try and mug me. So why are you here?"

Kankuro grinned and reached into a bowl of chips that he'd gotten himself, "Vacation bu~ddy. Temari said that you said that we could stop by your place anytime we were in town. You weren't here when we got here, so we just let ourselves in."

"The elevator gate was locked." Naruto said, "Super-locked. Nobody can pick it or break it. I made sure of it when I put it in."

"Yeah maybe, but you keep your fucking roof door unlocked so we just went up the side of the complex."

Naruto just stared at his desert-dwelling visitor before looking up the stairs at the door to the rooftop patio. Man, he really deserved to get his first apartment burned up didn't he? "Ugh, you keep saying we, but I don't see Gaara or Temari anywhere."

"That's because I'm right behind you." Gaara said dully, standing uncomfortably close to Naruto, getting him to rocket up to the elevated ceiling of the penthouse out of sheer surprise and fright, "Hello."

Sticking to the ceiling, Naruto just glared in Shino's direction, "You couldn't warn me there was somebody six inches behind me?"

"Now what would be the fun in that?"

"I hate all of my friends." Naruto dropped back down to the ground and unruffled his clothes to address his former enemy that battered him all over the desert, "Hey Gaara, you look a lot less murderface than you used to."

Gaara just blinked impassively, "Ever since the death of our _father_, Temari and Kankuro have been trying to teach me how to act properly amongst others. They said a trip to Konohagakure no Sato would be… fun. I'm looking forward to the experience."

"Wow, way to put the pressure on me." Naruto said before placing his hands on Gaara's shoulders, "But hey, I'll do my best. I'll try to find something that won't end in a police standoff." He then noticed something out of what he figured the ordinary was, "Why can I touch you without getting sand-gripped?"

"Kankuro and Temari can as well." Gaara pointed out, "They say that sometimes physical contact is necessary between friends."

"We're friends?"

"It's more like he's terrified of you and doesn't want to fight you again." Kankuro said, firing up Naruto's game console, "Hey, can I use your Netflix? Sunglasses guy, come over here and help me pick a movie."

In the time it took Naruto to look at Kankuro after his statement and turn back to Gaara, he was gone with a sand construct in his place that disintegrated after Naruto became aware of the Kawarimi. Apparently he didn't want to face the stark reality of his brother's true remark, "Right… so where's your sister?"

"Somewhere. Whatever." Kankuro said, letting Shino scroll through the movie history that Naruto had watched most recently, "Heh, the last movie you watched on this thing was 'Cars'. Big tough contract killer."

"I was babysitting!" Naruto reasoned loudly, "Babysitting a ten year-old girl you judgmental douche!" He yelled, deciding that this was too much for him to deal with right now. He felt drained, "I'm gonna take a nap, drink me a Red Bull, then I'm gonna beat your ass at video games until I feel better about myself."

"Yeah you do that." Kankuro said, waving him off, "I'll be out here with Gaara and your landlord's kid, watching Netflix and eating your food. Cheers."

"All of my friends suck to varying degrees." Grumbling to himself and wondering the worth of messing up his apartment to rub Kankuro's face into the hardwood floor, Naruto made his way to the back where the three bedrooms to his home lay. One was his, one was Sasuke's for when he needed to crash over there, and the last was for any other guest(s) that would grace his halls and stay overnight.

It was obvious which was which, because his room and Sasuke's room were labeled with placards on the doors.

So when Naruto opened the door to his room, the absolute last place he expected to find the fair desert maiden, the eldest of the sibling trio from Sunagakure, was inside, in his bed, sleeping quite comfortably.

Well that altered his plans significantly.

His sheets and beddings were super-clean, as was everything else in the room, so it wasn't that which was the problem. The problem was that he wanted to sleep in his own damn bed, and he wanted to be pissed… but after twenty seconds of staring at Temari sprawled out asleep it was kind of hard to get mad at all of the sexy, especially when it seemed so content and comfortable.

If it had been Gaara or Kankuro they'd have been lucky to not get dumped out of the bedroom window. But with Temari… the sexy stayed his normally mischievous and vengeful hand. And oh there was bountiful sexy to be had. Ugh, it was almost enough to make a red-blooded hetero teenager have a nervous breakdown.

His rebellious right hand that had been taught the Rasengan and other techniques by Jiraiya reached out to simply touch the extremely healthy and bare thigh of his lovely female guest, but his good, obedient left hand grabbed the index finger of the wayward right hand and bent it back painfully to keep him from doing something he'd regret later.

Even if Temari didn't instantly wake up and beat him to death with her fan for groping her, he'd have felt like a real heel for doing something like that when he had a loving girlfriend that he'd just dropped off at her home. He'd just gotten through dragging her to the worst place on the face of the planet. His fuck-up card was not renewable for the time being. No, no, no, that simply would not do.

Oh, but Temari was so hot. And she totally slept in his room, underneath his covers, on his pillows, with the express intended purpose of fucking with his head. He knew she did. Even if she'd woken up and left before he'd gotten there, her scent would have lingered and it would have driven him up the damn walls. He wouldn't have gotten a lick of sleep whenever he decided to try and get some rest anyway.

So three options were there if he wanted to sleep.

He could crawl into bed with her and see how that'd go, but that wasn't an option because either she'd maul him upon waking up or she wouldn't maul him, but things would get weird from that point forward, and he couldn't get weird anymore since he was in a relationship.

Option two was to wake her up and kick her out, but he just didn't have it in his Jiraiya-tainted heart to kick the sexy out of his bed.

Option three was to just leave and sleep on the floor outside of his door like a dog.

…That wasn't an option at all. Screw that. He'd slept on floors, desks, tables, countertops, all of that stuff and more. Floors sucked especially.

So he gave himself permission to revisit this conundrum at a later point in time. He would retire to the living room and hopefully Kankuro and Shino hadn't picked a movie he wouldn't watch, such as anything horror-related. He hated those kinds of movies… copy-and-paste slasher flicks.

Returning to the living room he plopped down on one of his cushy chairs with something of a pout as the movie was just beginning on-screen, "…So what are we watching?" Naruto groused to Kankuro, Shino, and Gaara.

"Sharknado."

"…I take back what I said before. I love you guys."

Kankuro grinned, and it had nothing to do with the selection of movie that had been chosen by Shino of all people, "So, did you like the view in your bedroom Naruto?"

"I still have my knife strapped to my leg." Naruto told him, "And I will totally throw it at your head when you least expect it. There are two other rooms. I'd rather Temari sleep in Sasuke's room, even if he did bitch at me for it later."

"You don't want a girl in your room 'stretch'?"

"It's not that I don't want one in there, it's that I'll get in trouble for having this one in particular in there. But anyway, why would she even do that?"

At that moment a warm, light presence draped over his shoulders and wrapped its arms around his neck, "I did it just to mess with you when I woke up." Temari told him, whispering close to the ear of their gracious host, "Mmm, your bedroom smells just like you do. It's almost too much for me."

"When did you wake up?"

"Right around the time you literally wrestled with yourself to not touch me."

"Careful now." Naruto said, completely shedding the uncomfortable vibe from before, "Prison does something to a man. It changes 'em."

"You poor baby, you went to prison?" Temari cooed breathily, still trying to set Naruto off, "Aww." She said upon letting him go.

"Well it was jail, and it was only for three hours, but it was Amegakure jail." Once he was free, Naruto turned and leer at the fan wielding older female, who was still as fine as ever. Kyuubi would be so passively jealous if she were there at the moment, "Speaking of which, is that blouse tight enough and that skirt short enough for you jailbait?"

"You can't be jailbait when you're over 18 genius." Temari just sauntered off into the attached kitchen, hands on her hips as she moved, "Hi no Kuni's summers are so pansified compared to Kaze no Kuni's. I don't even have to worry about getting sunburned here so I figured now was a great time to put the summer clothes I bought to good use. So what do you think?" She asked, peering over her shoulder with a grin after reaching the counter.

"What I think is that if I didn't have a girlfriend and you ever felt the need to slum it and hook up with me, our kids would be blond gods and/or goddesses." Naruto then found himself slapped with a hand comprised of sand, clearly courtesy of Gaara, "Pfft."

"A filter between your brain and your mouth." Gaara said, sitting on the stairs to the roof as Naruto sputtered sand all over, much to Temari's amusement, "You lack one."

"Don't get all protective of your sister." Naruto said, brushing stray grains of sand out of his hair, "She knows she's sexy. And if she wants to parade her fine ass around my apartment until you guys go home that's totally cool with me, and you should respect her decision as an adult."

Temari couldn't help but laugh at how brazen Naruto was being. He caught on very quick to what was up after his initial shock at her flirty temperament, and she didn't know how he could say half of that stuff with a straight face, "Goddamn, he is really good at this game." And he wasn't afraid of Gaara so he'd actually play it with her.

"I've seen pictures of his girlfriend." Kankuro said, settled in now to watch Shino's choice of movie, "He _better _be good at that game."

Her brother's words caused Temari to frown for a moment before she returned to looking for something to eat from the cupboards. Regardless, this was just as good a way as any for Naruto to wind down after the horrible events that had occurred in Amegakure. The more distance that could be put between that place and everyone that had gone on that mission with him, physically and mentally, the better.

Yeah, surrounding himself with people that usually didn't want to try and kill him was the best way to spend his time.

In fact… looking at the people around him right then a lightbulb went off in his head. Something that he couldn't possibly let himself ignore.

"I have a fantastic idea."

XxX

"That's retarded. You're retarded." Sasuke said over the phone. While he was overseeing the physical conditioning of the trainees for the police recruit summer program, he had been contacted with a call from his idiot best friend, "A party? Really? And you expect me to go to this thing because…?"

"_Don't give me that. You know you're fucking going. I invited Hinata, she already said she's coming, and even if she wasn't you were still going to go anyway. Now it's just a lock that you're going since she is."_

"I hate your rotten guts. Why is she friends with you again?"

"_Whatever. Hey, since you're still doing that trainee thing, is Sakura there?"_

"Yeah."

"_Well make sure you invite her."_

"Why the fuck do I have to do it? It's your party."

"_She isn't picking up when I call because her phone isn't on. Probably so she can pay complete attention to whatever _you_ tell her to do. She's a friend, and if she goes Ino will go. If Ino goes, more people will come."_

"What part of you thinks this is going to be a good idea?" Sasuke assured him in advance. He wasn't really supposed to assist in the delinquency of minors, which he was more than certain was going to happen if this party took place, "This is going to go wrong."

"_Maybe. But if it goes wrong, it's gonna go epically wrong."_ Just as long as his place didn't burn down again, Naruto was good with almost anything else that could happen, _"This is what summer's all about."_

"No. No, this is not what summer is all about. But nothing I say is going to change your mind." Sasuke said, "Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to avoid your place tonight… but a sick part of me wants to go and see what happens."

"_-And that's the part you're gonna listen to."_

"Ugh… if Sakura takes me inviting her to your party as me personally asking her to be there for my benefit, I'm going to punch you in the stomach when I get there."

XxX

(Amegakure no Sato)

It had been a good stretch of days after a long time in the worst prison in the Elemental Nations. Yahiko had been treated like an animal, and that was just what he became!

…Not really.

Yeah, it had been horrible. Probably the most horrible experience of his life since the end of the war times back when he'd been a helpless kid watching his parents die, running for his life every day and just trying to steal what he could to survive.

So a few months in political prison to further the goals of his Akatsuki was simply a price he was willing to pay to reach his dream.

Especially when there was to consider what he had waiting on him after he got out.

Ever since Amegakure had been progressively getting cleared of anyone still loyal to Hanzo, as well as any person of demonic descent that could be located, Yahiko hadn't left the quarters allotted to him in their temporary HQ. He didn't really have a good reason to.

And he had an even better reason to stay.

Leaning on his elbow with a wide grin on his face, Yahiko reached out and ran his hand down the bare back of the blue-haired beauty that had taken up residence in his bed, eliciting a shiver from her, "…You really are an angel aren't you?"

"…Prison really _does_ do something to a man." Konan said, turning around to face her childhood friend, leaning forward to give him a deep kiss, full of passion, "What did they do to you in that place Yahiko?"

From the moment Yahiko was demanded to rest by his two fellow leaders, one of them followed him right inside with the verbally stated intention of making sure that he didn't leave his bed until he was fully healed. Konan had her ways of keeping him there without a fuss.

Nagato was more than able to keep a handle on things by himself, especially now after they had obtained the biggest victory of their whole campaign.

"Whatever they did, it doesn't matter now." Yahiko said, grabbing onto Konan and shifting them to set her on top of him underneath the covers, "That's over with. Everything that happened in the past, none of that matters now. All that matters is finishing our divine mission, and making the world a better place for our children than it was for us."

"And when you say 'our children'-." Konan whispered, pressing her forehead and nose against her lover's, giving him a half-lidded gaze, "-You'd be referring to what exactly?"

"Well that's up to you." Yahiko didn't lose a touch of his nerve when presented with Konan's question, "When everything's all said and done, I was just hoping that you'd stay with me. You know, the way we've always been. From the start. Even before Nagato joined us."

"…Yahiko."

"Yes Konan?"

"I assume if you're feeling on my ass, you want to have another go, correct?"

"…Well, I _was_ in prison for most of the year."

Konan let out a sigh and smiled before leaning down to kiss Yahiko again, "Welcome home, oh great leader." She found herself flipped over onto her back where she would proceed to continue her intimate reunion with her longtime beloved.

XxX

(Konohagakure no Sato – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Smacking his lips tiredly, Obito yawned and adjusted his eyepatch on his face as he relaxed in the office that he shared with Rin and Kakashi. They were on a mission, but it was taking too long despite the fact that they routinely kept checking in. The location was scenic though so if he had to guess, Obito would have figured that they were refraining from returning so that they could get some on-the-job vacation time.

"Rin probably puts out epically when she's whisked away from this shithole town." Obito mused to himself, a lucid grin slowly spreading across his face, "I wonder if Rin would be willing to cheat on Kakashi _just_ once… with a friend. Like me. And I _do_ have a Sharingan, so maybe if she made eye contact I could-?"

His potentially adulterous thoughts were cut off when he heard the familiar voice of his mercenary mentor's orphan son, another joining it in an earworm of a song.

"~Well tonight we're gonna party 'til the party don't stop. And the party don't stop because it keeps on going. Non-stop gonna party all night, gonna keep this party going 'cuz the party won't stop. It's been two straight days and the party's still going. Two-three-four-five-six-seven days. 'Til it's Friday again, and the party keeps going. Party all night 'cuz it's an all night party~."

"~Friday night. 9 pm. Hop in the car. Call my friends. Drinks in the back. Girls out front. Going to a party. Sending text. Cell phone rings. iPad. Facebook. Party time. Skin-tight jeans. Friday night. Dance-dance-dance. 'Cuz tonight we're going out and we ain't co~ming back. 'Cuz the party won't stop, it will go all night-."

"Kid what the hell are you doing?" Obito eventually asked, stopping Naruto and Kankuro in their tracks as they passed by the open door to his office, their arms full of various goods, "Did you get into my grain alcohol party liquor or something?" Goddamn those lyrics were easy to remember, and the cadence was catchy.

"Grain alcohol?" Kankuro asked.

"Yeah." The one-eyed Uchiha confirmed, "Grain alcohol, baby! Whenever there's a potential riot, I'm getting blasted on grain alcohol."

Naruto and Kankuro looked at each other before the blond of the pair decided to answer, "Uh, no? We just came to invite Tenten, Rock Lee, Haku and a few other mercs our age to the party I'm having later."

A sputtering laugh came from Obito as he finally found something interesting to do, "How old are you? You turn sixteen in three months. What the hell do you know about partying? I've been blackout drunk so many times Rin says the only functional brain cells I should have left are connected to the Sharingan."

"That's what I'm here for." Kankuro said with a big wide grin, "Suna's a bit looser in its standards of defining a minor… as in we don't really have any. Time to spread the culture a bit."

Obito stared at Kankuro for several seconds before looking back to Naruto, "Why are your friends cooler than you?"

"Because you're the one that had the biggest part in raising me."

"Bah, whatever. Don't blame me for your loser-ness." Obito waved off Naruto's personally invalid excuse, "I did my best to turn you into me."

"-Which is why I'm like this. That's what I'm blaming you for." Naruto reasoned sardonically, "Now let's go Kankuro." And with that they continued singing further along in their song at a faster pace as they walked away, their voices departing as well all the while.

"~Now we're gonna keep this goin' 'til the break'a-break'a dawn. Then we'll just keep partying all day long. Hot girls, music, dancing and bikinis and headphones. Party-party-party-party-party-party-party-party-~."

A strong part of Obito wanted to crash Naruto's get-together just for the sake of trolling the teenager that was technically supposed to be under his guardianship, but that would have probably been creepy. He was eleven years older and the entire party would be people around his age, so any laugh factor he would have gotten out of it would have been offset by the fact that he was too old to be there.

If he was savvy enough of Naruto's luck running to form, his party would wind up crashing itself in good time.

That still left him without anything to do for the evening however.

"…Wonder if Anko'd want to hook up tonight."

As long as she stopped doing that thing with the nicking his face to draw blood whenever she walked through his door or he walked through hers.

Well, maybe if he was drunk enough to ignore it he'd be fine with it.

Oh who was he kidding? He didn't care at all. Whatever turned her on he guessed.

XxX

(Elsewhere in Konoha – Downtown Bar)

Reading the official report that had been left by Naruto in the aftermath of his mission to Ame, Jiraiya found a deep need to go somewhere and drink. Getting loaded on his own in his private quarters inside of the HQ simply wasn't good enough for this.

Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan. Those were the three names of the Akatsuki cult leaders.

He knew those kids.

He'd trained those kids.

He'd left those kids behind.

And now they were the centerpieces of a genocidal movement that was steadily gaining momentum and now had control of basically an entire country.

What a _great_ teacher he was. Three of his old students had almost killed his latest one and had the intent of purging every inch of the world that they could reach of all people with demonic blood in their lineage.

With a gesture of his hand, Jiraiya motioned for a refill of his scotch which he received in a timely manner. Grunting his thanks he continued to imbibe in the drink until someone sat next to him at the bar, "…Sarutobi-sensei. Don't you have a city to run?"

"I don't sit in an office answering questions and trying to solve city problems all day Jiraiya." A weathered old man with grey hair and an impressive grey slate suit said with a wizened smile, "So how goes the seedy underbelly of the country? Not too well I would wager, since there are at least three women in here that I figured you would have taken a chance on trying to go home with, they're not glaring holes through you, and you don't have any hand-prints across your face."

Looking around, Jiraiya cursed his middling mood. Indeed there were some lovely ladies in attendance that he would have tried his luck with on any other given evening, but he really wasn't in the mood to chase any tail this time.

Pity that.

"Tell me sensei-." Jiraiya started, stopping to take a sip of drink, "-How did you deal with it when Orochimaru… well, you know." Did what he did. It didn't need to be said aloud just what that was. They were both there. They both knew.

"Who said I ever stopped dealing with it?" Hiruzen said wryly, freely smoking a pipe at the bar, "You learn how to cope with your biggest mistakes in life or they'll eat you alive Jiraiya, but some things you never finish wrestling with inside. Pick five regrets from decades past that you still have today."

It was almost automatic. Jiraiya didn't even have to think about it before it all drifted to the front of his mind.

'Never getting serious on trying to pull the trigger with Tsunade-hime before it was too late. Not stopping Orochimaru myself. Leaving raising Naruto to Minato's trainees so I could try and cover his tracks from the assassins and find them myself. Never finding the real reason everything happened that night.' And then-, '…Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko.' Enough said on all of those things.

"You don't need to tell me what they are, but how many of those things do you think you will ever be able to fix or make good on completely?"

Maybe one or two of those things at best.

"Everyone that lives to be my age, or even as young as you, especially with the kinds of lives we've led, they have enough things they wish they could solve or take back to write memoirs on." Hiruzen explained, "Dwelling on these things too much have ruined men and women, costing them years of their lives or their lives altogether."

"It's easier when you're young." Jiraiya said with a sigh, massaging his eyebrows, "Watching all of those kids and younger mercs running around the HQ, reading all of their reports, you definitely feel it." He got a large plume of smoke in his face for his trouble, "Damn it sensei!"

"You're going to complain to _me_ about getting old?" Hiruzen asked rhetorically before scoffing, "Feh. You young people are such whiners."

XxX

(Later That Evening – Naruto's Penthouse Apartment)

The elevator ride up to the top floor of Naruto's apartment complex was usually pretty droll, but this time after being met at the door outside by Naruto, Kyuubi found that he was way too energetic for his own good. To the point that he couldn't even stand still for the time it would take to reach the top floor.

"…Wow, you're really excited aren't you?" Kyuubi asked after finding Naruto to be more animated than he usually was, and that was saying something, "You're actually wearing clothes that don't look like you're smuggling weapons. You should dress like that more often. You look cute like that hon."

Instead of the normal casual street attire Naruto would don on any other day in particular, on this given night he'd chosen to try on some actual clothes that consisted of a short-sleeved white button-up shirt and white pants.

"I am white on rice Kyuu-chan." Naruto said, looking himself over before grinning and shaking his head, "I look like I'm in a fucking boy band. You look good though." He pointed out of honesty and a desire to net brownie points with his fiery redhead.

Kyuubi's outfit for the evening was comprised of a black heeled boots, a black/silver/red short skirt, a white dress shirt with three buttons undone at the top for a gracious amount of tanned cleavage shown, and a loose red and black tie around her neck. She knew he'd already seen them bare plenty of times, but it put a bit of a confident smile on her face when she saw Naruto's eyes drift down to her breasts when he thought she wasn't looking.

Good to know he still wasn't bored of her looks and her body yet.

"Aww, so sweet." She cooed, rubbing his whisker-marked cheek fondly before giving it a playful pinch, "I'm telling you though, you look fine. If you were wearing your goggles they'd make you look gimmicky in that outfit, like you were in a boy band, but you're not so it's perfectly fine. And why is your hand under my skirt?"

"You have a hand on my cheek so I was thinking I could put mine on yours."

"Bad thoughts Naru-kun."

"If they're so bad then why are you smiling?"

"Because I'm bad." Kyuubi removed Naruto's hand from her ass, getting an annoyed whine from him as the elevator bell let off a ding, "Uh-un. Later tonight."

The doors opened up and revealed the rather bouncing scene that was Naruto's apartment to the teenage pair along with the loud music of choice for the night. Apparently inviting Ino was indeed the ticket to get a crowd to show up. As Kyuubi looked around them she recognized a bunch of people from their class and their overall year in high school.

They did not know any of their names. At all. And she sincerely doubted that most of them knew that this was Naruto's place.

That didn't stop anyone from using his TV and Playstation, or using his sound system, or eating his snacks, or drinking his alcohol that had somehow been obtained through scrupulous and possibly illegal means, or going up to his rooftop to have more intimate conversations with members of the opposite sex.

Still, it was nice to be around people. Before she'd come to Konoha neither she nor Naruto had many friends for their own respective reasons, and now they had enough to actually put something like this together.

"Dude!" Kiba exclaimed, moving through the crowd upon seeing Naruto at the elevator, "This is awesome! Did ya get Kyuubi from downstairs?" The question was answered at the sight of the girl right next to him putting her hair up with a black clip and waving at him, "…Alright! I'm goin' to the roof!"

It was almost funny to watch Kiba almost bowl over several people as he jogged his way through the main room of the apartment and up the open staircase to get to the roof. Why he wanted to get up there was a mystery to everyone other than him more than likely. Most people just ignored it.

"So you decided to just throw this out of the blue eight hours ago?" Kyuubi asked with a toothy grin as they walked to the kitchen area to get something to drink, "Someone knows how to network I see."

"Yeah." Naruto said with a grin as he and Kyuubi walked through the place, "It's basically to introduce all of our friends to Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, but it would suck to just have maybe thirteen people over here." By the drinks he saw Deidara speaking to Tenten of all people. Weird. And she was actually interested in what he was talking about.

"So you just make these little clay sculptures and they explode on command?" Tenten asked in wonderment, holding up a small clay bird that Deidara had made for her as a demonstration, "Do you know what I would give to be able to make anything I want explode on command?"

Deidara grinned at the appreciation his art was getting, and he hadn't even made anything explode yet, "Yeah, it was worth getting kicked out of my old PMC for the jutsu. My dream job? Special effects coordinator for the movies. But for now I'll just settle for getting paid to blow shit up, un." He then noticed Naruto walking over, "Hey kid, thanks for the invite before I ditched town."

Noticing him as well, Tenten smiled and held up his goggles, "Naruto. I fixed these earlier like you asked. Here you go."

Naruto took them back with a smile as well, choosing to keep them with him for now instead of putting them back in his room where they might get stolen. His door was locked, but you never know. If someone stole from his house though, he was going to track them down, "What do I owe you?"

"Oh don't worry about that. I already made my money pretty much." Tenten said to his complete confusion, "…You didn't know you were recording everything that happened to you until they got damaged?" From the look on his face he didn't even know that the goggles recorded things.

"Wow." Naruto actually stared at the useful little accessories in shock, "How much of everything?"

"Ugh. Everything that happened after you and Deidara were put into prison." She'd put one of her best recent inventions into the hands of someone that didn't even know how everything worked, "Well you did, and I extracted the memory. And I'm going to sell it to the highest-bidding news station I can find."

The amount of money she could make off of having _actual video footage_ of the final hours of Hanzo's regime in Amegakure. Oh, when news finally broke worldwide of that intelligence the ball was going to drop and she was going to hold every news station in the world hostage to get a hold of Naruto's goggle footage.

Working with him on her inventions was the greatest career choice she'd ever made in her life. She'd have enough money to freely play around with any crackpot idea she'd ever come up with in her pretty little head after this was all said and done.

"You should join Kaisha Hein." Kyuubi said to Deidara as the mad bomber decided to be somewhat courteous to the host of the party and his girl by getting them a drink, "You were… well, we wouldn't have gotten out of Ame without you. Thank you." And she meant that from the bottom of her heart.

"…Nah. I'm a criminal." Deidara said with a carefree laugh, "That'll cause some problems won't it?"

"Zabuza joined." Tenten pointed out with a shrug before taking an idle sip from her plastic cup, "-And he was in trouble for fleeing Kiri with Haku back when they were on their bloodline-purge thing."

Speaking of Haku, she was also in attendance, wearing a kimono of all things in the most inopportune environment for it. Still, she seemed to be having fun from the smile on her face, although at times it was hard to tell if it was a real smile or a warning to others that bad things were going to happen if you kept bothering her. Still, with the company she was keeping in Itachi Uchiha it was more than likely that this was not the case.

After pointing out to Kyuubi what he saw, getting an extremely amused grin and a giggle from her, Naruto located Sasuke lurking around the back by the hallway leading to the back with the bathroom and bedrooms. Promising to come back and dance with her in just a bit, he ran off to go and harass his primary amigo into doing something.

Sasuke saw Naruto coming before he ever did and was ready for his arrival with an upward tilt of his head, "Idiot." He greeted.

"Deputy." Naruto returned, leaning against the wall with him, "So what are you doing back here? You know Hinata's here right?" It wasn't very hard at all for Naruto to scope out the pretty princess in the crowd. Wow, he didn't know Hinata was one for dancing, "I threw this for a bunch of reasons. One was so you'd actually have an excuse to hang out with her that you didn't have to come up with yourself."

"Just shut up." He tried to hide it with a lowering of his head, but Sasuke couldn't hide the red on his face, "Why do you even care?"

"Because I know you like her and she might like you back. Besides, just look at your brother." Naruto said, pointing out Itachi, "Haku didn't go up to him first, I definitely know that much. She doesn't do that. And they've been over there for a while, so it's gotta be going well."

Okay, so he had a point. If _Itachi_ of all people could find it in him to go up to a girl and talk even when he didn't know her, he had to be able to find it in him to at least try to. Of course, Itachi was also apparently good at everything. Sasuke was unable to boast such a thing.

He just… needed to get his nerve up. Yes, that was all. He just needed to walk around a bit to get himself together, and holy shit where'd that kid with red hair and the thousand-yard stare come from?

"Gaara." Naruto said, patting his desert-dwelling guest on the back upon realizing that he was standing right between Naruto and Sasuke on the wall, "Yeah, don't do that to people anymore. But other than that, how's it going?"

"It's loud."

"Well parties aren't for everyone. It's alright."

"No, it's not that particularly." Gaara said with a shake of his head, "I'm just curious. Why do these women keep looking over at me?"

Naruto tried to analyze the scene as best as he could and realized that it was the way that a lot of girls would look at Sasuke in school, and even right then in the party. Holy crap, girls in Konoha thought Gaara was hot. That was just…

…So unfair.

But hey, it was his job to see that Gaara got along just fine and had fun while he was staying there, "Do you want to talk to some of 'em?" Naruto asked, getting a single nod from him, "Alright, let's go. And while we're doing that we can get Deputy a bit closer to Hinata so he can go and ask her if she wants to dance with him."

"I don't dance." Sasuke said.

"It's not for you, it's for her." Naruto reasoned in return, getting Sasuke to resolutely shake his head, "Don't be like that."

"You don't dance or can't?" Gaara asked, raising a nonexistent eyebrow. It wasn't like he himself could or even knew the first thing to do, but a fact like that should never get in the way of calling b.s. on anything within earshot.

This led to an impromptu stareoff between Sasuke and Gaara before the former pointed out something he'd ignored until right then, "I don't even know you."

"Does that make what I said any less true?"

Naruto could just see this falling apart at the seams, "Ugh. Gaara, don't start a fight. Sasuke, shut up and stop worrying about looking cool like Itachi for a few seconds." Honestly, the boy was chomping at the bit to hunt down one of the most dangerous criminals in modern history to prove he was strong but wouldn't even walk across the room to take a personal chance. Bravery was defined in different ways for different people, "Just ask her and her face'll light up, I promise. Even if you only stay for one song."

"…-n't…-nce."

"What?"

"I can't dance!"

Naruto just stared at Sasuke dryly for several seconds before tilting his head in the direction of the others dancing. He proceeded to slap the back of his head, causing Sasuke to involuntarily activate his Sharingan out of anger. Still, he held him there for several seconds before slapping him again to turn it off.

"Did you see that?" Naruto asked Sasuke as the latter looked ready to punch him, which he proceeded to do in the stomach, "Oof! I was helping!"

"Helping me see what?" Sasuke snapped at him, "All you did was make me look at everyone else dancing in your living room."

"And what was on when you did?"

"My Sharin-…" Well that certainly changed things. His anger vanished just like that, "Oh." And Naruto made sure he copied all of that from everyone out there for posterity, "_That's_ all I've got to do? No guy out there with a girl was really doing anyt-."

"Yes." Naruto said, getting a bit irritated at this point. How could someone so good at everything else swing and miss so hard on this? When Itachi Uchiha was your older brother it must have made you overthink everything into anxiety, "That's it. Literally. You don't really have to do _anything_. What did you think you had to do? This isn't fucking 'Stomp the Yard' or something where someone's gonna battle you in the middle of my living room. Just read the rhythm of the song and move a bit. It'll be fine."

That took some of the edge off. Not all of it, but a good portion of it. Okay. He could do this. Just be cool, and don't let loose a single outward show of emotion, just like always. Just a few sentences of greeting and a five-to-six word question and he could pull himself in off of that limb he was about to put himself out on.

Naruto just rolled his eyes as he followed Sasuke and brought Gaara with him to see if he could help the latter out with getting a presence going in Konoha. Seriously, the day that Gaara was actually more willing to put himself out there to strangers than Sasuke was to a friend of theirs… Naruto wouldn't have put money on that one.

Fine. Two birds with one stone. He'd find Sakura and Ino and distract them hoping that they found Gaara hot too. At least hot enough to distract them for long enough to let Sasuke get close to Hinata to take his chance unmolested.

Because that was what friends did for friends… when they were awesome.

XxX

A sigh came from Temari as she looked down through the skylight of Naruto's penthouse apartment. The party was nice, and she'd actually met a few people in Konoha's PMC that hers in Suna had a working relationship with, but she wasn't feeling as chipper as she'd felt when it started.

As much as it probably made her feel like a bad person to admit, her mood had descended when she saw the girl with Naruto exit the elevator with him. That was clearly his girlfriend. She was actually Naruto's age and very attractive Temari could admit for a girl three years younger than her.

"Hah…" Another sigh, and she figured that she couldn't just keep watching the party from above through the skylight all night. That was a weird thing to do. She was fairly buzzed, but Temari had never been much for drinking in Suna, where it had been legal for people under 21 and even under 18. When she knew that there would be younger people than 18 there she expected a higher number of them to devolve into idiot drunks just because they could.

Perhaps having a minimum of at least twenty trained killers in attendance had something to do with that. Like bouncers. Of course if any of them got drunk, and they couldn't hold their booze, there was a good chance it would be game over for someone tonight.

Apparently the very spacious roof was being used as a spot for people planning to hook up and/or leave together to meet up since Kankuro had directed Naruto to make sure all of the doors to the bedrooms were locked in a moment of savvy.

"Hey. What are you doing all the way up here?"

Oh no. That was more than likely the last person she wanted to speak to at the moment. If she was there, where was Naruto? Looking back through the skylight it was easy to pinpoint Naruto with Gaara, trying to introduce him to some other people in attendance. Some blonde girl and a pink-haired girl from the looks of things.

That made her heart warm up.

Noticing Kyuubi approach her on the roof with a warm smile she tried to put on one of her own, but she wasn't really good at smiling when she didn't feel like it. They looked hollow when she did so, and that much was evident from the confused look on the younger girl's face, "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

"No." Temari said bluntly before realizing that her voice sounded a little too harsh, "Well… yes." She felt fortunate that there was plenty of space on the roof for her to wander away from others, as most partygoers chose to stay around the skylight or the stairs back down.

As she started to walk farther along the rooftop area, Kyuubi followed her, "What is it?"

Well, she'd had enough drinks to loosen her tongue enough to say what she had to say, and hesitation was most definitely not the word of the evening, "I want your boyfriend."

Kyuubi knew that Temari was a friend of Naruto's. Between Kankuro, Gaara, and Temari, she was the one that spoke to Naruto on the phone most often. They talked routinely about various things; he'd ask her for work advice since he was still in the tail-end of his rookie year, they would throw stories back and forth, and they'd rap back and forth about when one or the other was going to come out to the other's city of residence for any sort of visit.

Really, if Temari lived in Konoha and Naruto wasn't bluntly honest with letting Kyuubi in on their conversations and everything else, she would have been concerned. Temari was gorgeous. But Kyuubi felt safe that Temari was not interested in Naruto in that way, at least until now.

Now, she didn't know how to particularly respond to that. She had never been faced with this situation, and honestly hadn't ever expected to be, "…What?"

Temari shook her head and turned to look over the roof at the city. The large, bustling part of the city was farther away, but those lights were impressive. Not impressive enough to attract her attention away from the conversation at hand though.

More important things were afoot.

"You heard me." Temari said, looking down at her lavender evening dress she'd put on for the night, "It's been eight months since I first met him, and two months since I realized that I've got it bad for him. I came here thinking that it wasn't that serious, and it turns out it is."

"But you're eighteen."

"Yes."

"And he's fifteen."

"Yep."

"…And you don't think he's immature like almost every other girl I've met thinks?" Kyuubi wondered, beginning to feel a creeping sense of fear rise up. Temari met him three weeks after they'd started dating, which had only been two months or so after they'd met. So it wasn't like she had a crushing amount of time over the older Suna-bred girl.

"Men in Suna take themselves so seriously, and they still see me as the sister of the most dangerous person in the city, so…" Enough said, Gaara was scary. A violent urban legend in his hometown, "Naruto is fun. I have fun just talking to him. And you know full well that anyone that knows him wouldn't say he's immature. Immature people can't live alone for their entire lives and survive as a mercenary. Immature people aren't presented with two options on completing a mission and create a third just to keep from killing a girl's murderous brother and breaking her heart, and they don't call afterwards routinely enough to set a calendar by to make sure everything's okay or if there's something that you or your family needs."

'Damn it hon.' Kyuubi thought to herself, damn near feeling the admiration in Temari's voice as if it were tangible, 'When you make friends, even if they're hundreds of miles away you make sure they know you care don't you?' "I'm going to regret asking it, but why do you like him? He's kind of out of his mind."

The sandy-blonde woman smiled falsely and extended her hand for a shake, "Hello. My name is Temari. My brother Kankuro likes to walk around Suna in gang clothes just to piss off real gang members so he has an excuse to kill them with his puppets for training. My other brother Gaara was one of the most feared people in the history of my city until he got beaten to a pulp by the only person in the entire world I've found that could actually put the fear of God into him."

Well when she put it that way, there was something critically wrong in the head with every single living soul that ever decided it would be a good idea to fight other people's battles for money and do that as a full-time career choice. Some had more insane quirks than others, ranging from near-psychopathic tendencies of Zabuza or Deidara to Naruto's more self-destructive but otherwise good-natured means of expressing himself.

At least with Naruto's more devil-may-care approach to his own mental problems it was more likely that he would hurt himself way before he would hurt anyone else with his actions. At least anyone else that didn't already have it coming in advance.

And Temari actually had a mental list of reasons as to why she did like him, "Like I said before; he's fun. He's just as good a man as you can expect to find as a mercenary." Yeah, the stock of relationship material amongst the PMCs was notoriously slim, "Even though he's still a kid he's not a bum and he likes action, so between my missions and his we'd be good financially. He's not afraid of Gaara. He's not afraid of me. And those eyes…"

"I know… those eyes." Kyuubi said with a bit of reverence.

"And those marks on his cheeks…"

"I _know_. Sometimes when I'm bored at school I want to just grab whiskered little face and shove-." Kyuubi stopped before she figured that she'd say something extremely personal and graphic, "Ahem. So anyway, we're not going to be friends, are we?"

That was actually a real shame. From what she'd seen and heard of Temari she'd have really liked her. It had been a while since she'd met a woman older than her that was worth looking up to for more than one reason.

Temari just laughed, "It's not some situation where I'm going to fight you for him or something." Her laughter stopped and she shook her head, "He doesn't even know in the slightest that I think of him that way. He just thinks I tease him. And I'm not the kind of person that'll sabotage your relationship like that. I hate women that can justify doing that to anyone."

Kyuubi breathed a sigh of relief before trying to get tough. It wouldn't do to seem weak in a situation like that, even after getting assurance that it wouldn't matter.

"-But if anything ever happens…" Temari told her frankly, "If you break up with him or he breaks up with you, even if you 'take a break', I'm going to take my chance. And I'll find out. He and I talk about lots of things you see. If I get him I won't give him back."

"A threat?"

"A fair warning." Temari shrugged before looking back out over the city, "I already told you, I'm not going to put him in a position to do something dumb like cheat on you. He wouldn't do it anyway." She seemed a little put off by admitting that fact, but chalked it up to just another reason why Naruto would be a worthwhile catch despite all of his deficiencies.

With the conversation getting a little too heavy for the redheaded vixen's tastes, she decided that it was just as good a time as any to bow out, "Fuck, I didn't think I'd ever say this before I was actually 21, but I really need a drink."

"I'll join you." Temari said, choosing to walk with her and head back down to the party, "_I_ need another one at this point. You think I don't feel weird about wanting to jump my brothers' friend's bones?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Silence reigned between the two as they moved back to the more populated half of the rooftop where the door to the stairway down was situated. Still though, Temari wanted to say something else.

"…So, for reference's sake could you tell me on a scale of one to ten, one being the worst and ten being the best, how good is it when you two-?"

"Really?"

"-Take into account length of time, enthusiasm present on both sides, willingness to experiment. All of that."

"I'm not-. I don't plan on drinking enough to justify telling you any of that."

XxX

(The Next Morning)

Naruto awoke to the feeling of someone hammering a rooftop inside of his head before he ever even opened his eyes. Oh, he made a mistake, "So this is why Obito-nii is so grumpy after he goes on benders." He muttered to himself, sitting up to surprisingly find himself asleep in his own bed, "…The way Obito talks I figured I'd have woken up a few miles outside of town or chained to something…"

As he slowly drifted back into focusing on his surroundings he looked around his room. Honestly, as long as nothing seemed to be broken and there didn't seem to be any signs of puke or anything in the vicinity he was fine with it.

Feeling the weight leaning on the right side of his body, Naruto saw the girl noted as his running girlfriend curled up next to him sleeping soundly. Good for her. She didn't need to get blindsided with the hangover he was feeling yet, if she even had one at all. He couldn't remember if she drank a lot.

Actually… he couldn't remember if _he_ had drunken a lot. What the hell?

Carefully removing himself from the tangle of limbs Kyuubi had affixed them in for the benefit of warmth and comfort the night before, Naruto stood up with a bit of a stagger to his step. Looking himself over he hadn't even taken any of his clothes off the previous night to get any sleep. So that was probably a sign that he'd blacked out or something. Kyuubi had at least taken off her boots, socks, and skirt because all she was clad in was her very undone tie, her very unbuttoned shirt, her bra, and her panties.

She unconsciously whined fitfully at the loss of her part-demon pillow before sniffling and grabbing an armful of the covers they'd both been sleeping on to try and compensate in some way.

Man… getting back into bed seemed like a really good idea. But then again his breath tasted like booze, so he felt a desperate need to go and handle that while he was thinking about it.

But really, what happened last night? He couldn't remember much after he took Gaara to talk to Ino, Sakura, and some other girls to distract them from Sasuke going to try his luck with Hinata.

Opening the door as quietly as he could, Naruto stepped out into his hallway and walked with a quiet creak to the floor, 'Ugh. I've got to clean the house up later.' He pointed out, able to see partway into the living room at the mess that had been left behind in the wake of the party, 'Thank goodness for clones.'

Of course his clones would be hung over too. And they bitched at him when doing domestic duties normally. He could only imagine the kind of collective asses they would act like today the moment he told them to do anything.

Whatever. First came brushing his teeth and taking a leak, and maybe not in that order.

Upon entering his bathroom, Naruto came across an undershirt-clad Kankuro sleeping against the wall of his shower, hugging a tapped keg that may or may not have been empty. Good for him. He didn't know why he had facepaint on, but he would ask that later.

The moment Naruto got his pants unzipped and started doing his business he wondered why the hell his flow sounded so loud hitting the water. The echo in his bathroom was on point today. On point enough to wake up someone else in the apartment.

Not Kankuro.

Another door elsewhere in the house quietly opened and closed before quick footsteps padded into the bathroom, revealing a slightly red-eyed and shirtless Sasuke who seemed to be a bit distressed for some reason.

He seemed to be waiting for something. That something was for Naruto to finish whizzing. But if that were the case he'd be waiting for a while, "You might want to go into the living room and wait for a bit." Naruto said, wincing at his headache and at the sheer amount of pressure that had been on his bladder until right then, "Be right with you chief." In response, Sasuke shut the door to the bathroom with both of them in it, "Deputy, not cool."

"What the fuck happened last night?" Sasuke hissed in a whisper, eyes jerking to the closed door every few seconds, "I can only remember blotchy parts. Bits and pieces."

"Calm down." Naruto said, "I didn't wake up with someone besides my girlfriend. Kankuro's not sitting in a tub of ice missing a kidney. I didn't see any big pools of blood in the living room. Nothing looks like it's stolen. What's the problem?"

This was not an Obito-level blackout where lives would be changed forever due to what had occurred during the blank spots. Naruto refused to believe that Obito's influence over his development ran that deep. He might have been a dirty-rotten scoundrel, but he was not a general menace to society like his Uchiha guardian.

The moment Naruto's 'stream' tapered off, Sasuke let him shake twice and flush the toilet before he grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the bathroom over to his room where he revealed his original reason for freaking out.

Okay, maybe they did need to figure out what happened last night.

The reason for that shift in mindset was rather simple. A very content-looking Hinata, not wearing a top at minimum from the looks of the bare shoulders and back that could be seen underneath the covers, slept soundly in Sasuke's bed. A bed that he had more than likely been in as well the night before because there were no telltale signs of anyone having slept on the floor, even in blackout pattern.

Naruto just stared with his jaw slacked and mouthed silently, unable to process words to go with what he was seeing. He had to ask the most obvious question he could think of at the moment, "…Did you-?"

"I don't know." Sasuke answered the unsaid question, actually feeling around his junk as if that would give him the answer, "I don't think I did. I don't feel like I did. I didn't find any evidence that I did."

"Evidence? Like what?"

"You know what evidence! The same reason you wash your sheets after you have Kyuubi over!"

Brain thoroughly broken, Naruto nodded slowly shut the door and walked with his hand holding his head to the kitchen. Forget brushing his teeth for the moment. He needed food and he needed time to try and recall just what had transpired the night before.

Upon entering the connected kitchen, Naruto backed up in shock against the counter with fear in his eyes. The clattering attracted a still shellshocked Sasuke who quickly moved his mind on to the next problem when he saw what had set Naruto off.

In the living room, sleeping in the completely trashed and torn up environment was a full-grown male lion softly growling snores to itself. Actually standing in the living room it made him realize just how trashed it was.

It hadn't looked that bad from the hallway, but there was destroyed furniture, his TV was toasted, there were slight burn marks on walls and the floor, holes in the wall, a window was missing… oh, and amongst those and other things-.

There was a lion in Naruto's living room.

"…There's a lion in your apartment." Sasuke said under his breath, "There's a lion in your apartment. Why is there a lion in your apartment?"

The time to be cool and play everything off as something that you'd figure out and handle later was over. When you found a lion in your house that was the time to find your motivation and start putting shit together.

Looking around momentarily and not finding what he was looking for, Naruto carefully jogged past the lion and ran up to the roof. After a few seconds he ran back down with a slightly worried look on his face as he headed back to the bedrooms and checked the one set aside for his guests. Once again he ran back out, checked the elevator, checked the manual stairwell, and found nothing before walking over to Sasuke with a freaked out expression, "Where's Gaara?"

Okay, now they _definitely_ needed to figure out what happened.

"…Seriously dobe, what the fuck did we do last night?"

* * *

Character Profile 23

Name: Gaara

Nickname: Sabaku no Gaara (Gaara of the Sand Waterfall), 'Holy Shit, It's-'.

Age: 15 (Birthday: January 19th)

Height/Weight: 5'6/136 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Ability to freely create and manipulate sand as an all-purpose tool, dull green eyes, messy red hair, black rings around eyes, expressionless demeanor, routine bouts of extreme bloodlust and lack of self-control, half-demon traits, protective brother demeanor, often refrains from moving in battle situations, thousand-yard stare of doom, suffocating killing intent.

Likes: Himself, his family (Temari and Kankuro), killing people that piss him off (when allowed to), cactuses, fighting, desert cuisine, full moon nights.

Dislikes: His insomnia, late-night infomercials, his father (deceased), water, people that complain about being tired, people that ask him questions about his sister.

Theme Song: "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age.

Notes: Gaara is formerly the secret weapon of his father meant to keep him in a powerful position in Sunagakure. Much like Naruto, Gaara was converted into a half-demon due to mysterious methods (presumably by his father). After the defeat of him and his father, Gaara was granted a second chance at great expense to Temari and Kankuro and is steadily adjusting to regular life with them. Is recognized as the most powerful person in Suna, even in the local PMC Kaisha Seidou (Bronze Company), but is still terrified at fighting the one person that ever defeated him in battle. Ironically it's the same person that saved him by virtue of his defeat in Naruto Uzumaki.

Quotes: "I've got half a mind to kill you… and the other half agrees."

"They will all taste oblivion, which tastes just like Red Bull... which is disgusting."

"Are you actually going to do something or are you just going to lay there and bleed?"

"I'm sorry did you say something? I'm having trouble hearing you over the smell of your blood on my hands."

"Out of all the people I've crushed to pulp, this one will always hold a special place in my heart.

"Between you and Naruto Uzumaki I believe I'm beginning to lose my touch at indiscriminate homicide."

Character Profile 24

Name: Temari

Nickname: N/A

Age: 18 (Birthday: August 23rd)

Height/Weight: 5'6/103 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Sandy-blonde hair in four spiky ponytails, green eyes, large iron war fan, powerful ability to manipulate raw wind, practical yet blunt and at times prickly personality, cruel streak when in combat, long-range combat ability, analytical battle strategist, ability to control Gaara's violent actions (usually by threatening to call Naruto to deal with him), tendency to taunt and play around with others when bored.

Likes: Sweet chestnuts, appraising flora, her brother Gaara, her brother Kankuro (sometimes), peaceful days, fruit drinks, taking pride in her work as a Kaisha Seidou mercenary, finding powerful women to test her strength, teasing impressionable people.

Dislikes: Squid and octopi, being shown up by others, her brother Kankuro (sometimes), dry desert air, sunburn, fragile personality traits in other people (especially men), close-range combat, Gaara's temporary lapses in sanity.

Theme Song: "Misery Business" by Paramore

Notes: The older sister of Gaara and Kankuro, Temari has been noted as having worked her way to becoming almost undoubtedly the most powerful female mercenary in Suna's PMC with the greatest control over wind in the country of Kaze no Kuni. After years of hard training and missions as well as watching her youngest brother turned into a killing machine by their father from afar, her family situation began to improve less than a year ago, allowing her to enjoy life to an increasing degree. She's considered an extremely important young woman in Suna due to her personal strength and skill and the fact that she has demonstrated a method of controlling Gaara… usually through the means of namedropping a locally unknown individual named Naruto Uzumaki.

Quotes: "My passport photo looks _amazing_."

"God gave me my relatives, so thank God I can choose my own friends."

"Everything in this goddamn desert looks the goddamn same. Can someone tell me why we live here again?"

"What's my problem? My first brother is an immature frat boy that watched 'Chucky' a few years too early and kills people with creepy puppets now. My youngest brother has a higher body count than a thirteen year-old playing a first-person shooter. So yes, I'm probably a bitch, but I'm probably the most pleasant person you're going to meet from this family."

"Payback's a bitch, and so am I."

Character Profile 25

Name: Kankuro

Nickname: N/A

Age: 17 (Birthday: May 15th)

Height/Weight: 5'10/186 lbs.

Special Skills/Traits: Bulky, somewhat muscular frame, spiky brown hair, tough stand-offish attitude with people he lacks respect for (such as people significantly younger than him), punkish choices of casual clothing, frequent use of poisons in combat, skill with Kawarimi no Jutsu, use of puppets as long-range tools in battle,

Likes: Lowly-rated movies, collecting puppets, intimidating his opponents with his puppets, adjusting and upgrading his puppets, fighting, Salisbury steak, partying, watching girls, casual drinking of vodka.

Dislikes: Spinach, people that insult him for his puppets, people that refer to his puppets as dolls, people that insult his family, children, being mistaken for a punk, the idea of committed relationship.

Theme Song: "Sandstorm" by Darude.

Notes: Kankuro is the middle sibling between younger brother Gaara and older sister Temari. A user of a unique combat style native to Suna; the use of puppets in battle, Kankuro is an extremely dangerous mercenary, capable of an unrelenting attack from multiple sides at a long distance. Due to his upbringing and bearing witness to that of his brother's, Kankuro developed a dislike for young children and a penchant for acting out via his attitude, his choice of attire, and his love for overbearing party settings. This also ties into his use of puppets and enjoyment of movies and actors in general, allowing him to live vicariously through them in battle and on the screen/stage respectively as an escape during his childhood. Has a rather abrasive attitude to those that do not know him, but is willing to tone it down when necessary.

Quotes: "I'm so tan I could be the Pope."

"This is the 21 century. You can't just walk up and slap a guy. You have to say something cool first."

"I hate listening to other people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care."

"Dude, we're from the desert. We don't walk anywhere. We travel as the good lord intended: in the largest possible vehicle with the maximum horsepower allowed by local law enforcement. And if there's no cars available, we find the biggest, nastiest, meanest land animal we possibly can, beat the crap out of it, and saddle that puppy up."

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

* * *

**Okay, really quick, a shout out to DevilJin17. **

**If you're reading this you know what you did to hook me up brother, and rest assured that Kenchi618 appreciated it highly. I didn't get **_**anything**_** significant done on Wednesday because of you goddamn it. Feel responsible for that. Just hours and hours that I'll never get back.**

…**Man that was a good day.**

**Anyway to the rest of you, a new arc is starting, but it's going to be more schtick than deadly serious. There will be a serious overtone to it, but it's mostly meant to be dumb fun. I hope that's something you guys can get behind and I hope you enjoyed this.**

**And now I'm gone. Next week I'm going to be leaving the state for a week, so I probably might not get anything updated after Sunday until Thursday. I don't know. It's business.**

**Kenchi out.**


End file.
